Caption competition
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2:15 pm, August 26th, 2014 - 82 comments
Categories: caption contest, john key -
Tags: sausage
82 comments on “Caption competition ”
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- Pharmac Chair appointed
Hon Paula Bennett has been appointed as member and chair of the Pharmac board, Associate Health Minister David Seymour announced today. "Pharmac is a critical part of New Zealand's health system and plays a significant role in ensuring that Kiwis have the best possible access to medicines,” says Mr Seymour. ...15 hours ago - Taking action on Fetal Alcohol Spectrum DisorderHundreds of New Zealand families affected by Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) will benefit from a new Government focus on prevention and treatment, says Health Minister Dr Shane Reti. “We know FASD is a leading cause of preventable intellectual and neurodevelopmental disability in New Zealand,” Dr Reti says. “Every day, ...2 days ago
- New sports complex opens in KaikoheRegional Development Minister Shane Jones today attended the official opening of Kaikohe’s new $14.7 million sports complex. “The completion of the Kaikohe Multi Sports Complex is a fantastic achievement for the Far North,” Mr Jones says. “This facility not only fulfils a long-held dream for local athletes, but also creates ...2 days ago
- Diplomacy needed more than everForeign Minister Winston Peters’ engagements in Türkiye this week underlined the importance of diplomacy to meet growing global challenges. “Returning to the Gallipoli Peninsula to represent New Zealand at Anzac commemorations was a sombre reminder of the critical importance of diplomacy for de-escalating conflicts and easing tensions,” Mr Peters ...2 days ago
- Anzac Commemorative Address, Buttes New British Cemetery BelgiumAmbassador Millar, Burgemeester, Vandepitte, Excellencies, military representatives, distinguished guests, ladies and gentlemen – good morning and welcome to this sacred Anzac Day dawn service. It is an honour to be here on behalf of the Government and people of New Zealand at Buttes New British Cemetery, Polygon Wood – a deeply ...2 days ago
- Anzac Commemorative Address – NZ National Service, Chunuk BairDistinguished guests - It is an honour to return once again to this site which, as the resting place for so many of our war-dead, has become a sacred place for generations of New Zealanders. Our presence here and at the other special spaces of Gallipoli is made ...3 days ago
- Anzac Commemorative Address – Dawn Service, Gallipoli, TürkiyeMai ia tawhiti pamamao, te moana nui a Kiwa, kua tae whakaiti mai matou, ki to koutou papa whenua. No koutou te tapuwae, no matou te tapuwae, kua honoa pumautia. Ko nga toa kua hinga nei, o te Waipounamu, o te Ika a Maui, he okioki tahi me o ...3 days ago
- PM announces changes to portfoliosPaul Goldsmith will take on responsibility for the Media and Communications portfolio, while Louise Upston will pick up the Disability Issues portfolio, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon announced today. “Our Government is relentlessly focused on getting New Zealand back on track. As issues change in prominence, I plan to adjust Ministerial ...4 days ago
- New catch limits for unique fishery areasRecreational catch limits will be reduced in areas of Fiordland and the Chatham Islands to help keep those fisheries healthy and sustainable, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. The lower recreational daily catch limits for a range of finfish and shellfish species caught in the Fiordland Marine Area and ...5 days ago
- Minister welcomes hydrogen milestoneEnergy Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed an important milestone in New Zealand’s hydrogen future, with the opening of the country’s first network of hydrogen refuelling stations in Wiri. “I want to congratulate the team at Hiringa Energy and its partners K one W one (K1W1), Mitsui & Co New Zealand ...5 days ago
- Urgent changes to system through first RMA Amendment BillThe coalition Government is delivering on its commitment to improve resource management laws and give greater certainty to consent applicants, with a Bill to amend the Resource Management Act (RMA) expected to be introduced to Parliament next month. RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop has today outlined the first RMA Amendment ...6 days ago
- Overseas decommissioning models consideredOverseas models for regulating the oil and gas sector, including their decommissioning regimes, are being carefully scrutinised as a potential template for New Zealand’s own sector, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. The Coalition Government is focused on rebuilding investor confidence in New Zealand’s energy sector as it looks to strengthen ...6 days ago
- Release of North Island Severe Weather Event InquiryEmergency Management and Recovery Minister Mark Mitchell has today released the Report of the Government Inquiry into the response to the North Island Severe Weather Events. “The report shows that New Zealand’s emergency management system is not fit-for-purpose and there are some significant gaps we need to address,” Mr Mitchell ...6 days ago
- Justice Minister to attend Human Rights CouncilJustice Minister Paul Goldsmith is today travelling to Europe where he’ll update the United Nations Human Rights Council on the Government’s work to restore law and order. “Attending the Universal Periodic Review in Geneva provides us with an opportunity to present New Zealand’s human rights progress, priorities, and challenges, while ...6 days ago
- Patterson reopens world’s largest wool scouring facilityAssociate Agriculture Minister, Mark Patterson, formally reopened the world’s largest wool processing facility today in Awatoto, Napier, following a $50 million rebuild and refurbishment project. “The reopening of this facility will significantly lift the economic opportunities available to New Zealand’s wool sector, which already accounts for 20 per cent of ...6 days ago
- Speech to the Southland Otago Regional Engineering Collective Summit, 18 April 2024Hon Andrew Bayly, Minister for Small Business and Manufacturing At the Southland Otago Regional Engineering Collective (SOREC) Summit, 18 April, Dunedin Ngā mihi nui, Ko Andrew Bayly aho, Ko Whanganui aho Good Afternoon and thank you for inviting me to open your summit today. I am delighted ...6 days ago
- Government to introduce revised Three Strikes lawThe Government is delivering on its commitment to bring back the Three Strikes legislation, Associate Justice Minister Nicole McKee announced today. “Our Government is committed to restoring law and order and enforcing appropriate consequences on criminals. We are making it clear that repeat serious violent or sexual offending is not ...6 days ago
- New diplomatic appointmentsForeign Minister Winston Peters has today announced four new diplomatic appointments for New Zealand’s overseas missions. “Our diplomats have a vital role in maintaining and protecting New Zealand’s interests around the world,” Mr Peters says. “I am pleased to announce the appointment of these senior diplomats from the ...6 days ago
- Humanitarian support for Ethiopia and SomaliaNew Zealand is contributing NZ$7 million to support communities affected by severe food insecurity and other urgent humanitarian needs in Ethiopia and Somalia, Foreign Minister Rt Hon Winston Peters announced today. “Over 21 million people are in need of humanitarian assistance across Ethiopia, with a further 6.9 million people ...6 days ago
- Arts Minister congratulates Mataaho CollectiveMinister for Arts, Culture and Heritage Paul Goldsmith is congratulating Mataaho Collective for winning the Golden Lion for best participant in the main exhibition at the Venice Biennale. "Congratulations to the Mataaho Collective for winning one of the world's most prestigious art prizes at the Venice Biennale. “It is good ...1 week ago
- Supporting better financial outcomes for KiwisThe Government is reforming financial services to improve access to home loans and other lending, and strengthen customer protections, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly and Housing Minister Chris Bishop announced today. “Our coalition Government is committed to rebuilding the economy and making life simpler by cutting red tape. We are ...1 week ago
- Trade relationship with China remains strong“China remains a strong commercial opportunity for Kiwi exporters as Chinese businesses and consumers continue to value our high-quality safe produce,” Trade and Agriculture Minister Todd McClay says. Mr McClay has returned to New Zealand following visits to Beijing, Harbin and Shanghai where he met ministers, governors and mayors and engaged in trade and agricultural events with the New ...1 week ago
- PM’s South East Asia mission does the businessPrime Minister Christopher Luxon has completed a successful trip to Singapore, Thailand and the Philippines, deepening relationships and capitalising on opportunities. Mr Luxon was accompanied by a business delegation and says the choice of countries represents the priority the New Zealand Government places on South East Asia, and our relationships in ...1 week ago
- $41m to support clean energy in South East AsiaNew Zealand is demonstrating its commitment to reducing global greenhouse emissions, and supporting clean energy transition in South East Asia, through a contribution of NZ$41 million (US$25 million) in climate finance to the Asian Development Bank (ADB)-led Energy Transition Mechanism (ETM). Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and Climate Change Minister Simon Watts announced ...1 week ago
- Minister releases Fast-track stakeholder listThe Government is today releasing a list of organisations who received letters about the Fast-track applications process, says RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop. “Recently Ministers and agencies have received a series of OIA requests for a list of organisations to whom I wrote with information on applying to have a ...1 week ago
- Judicial appointments announcedAttorney-General Judith Collins today announced the appointment of Wellington Barrister David Jonathan Boldt as a Judge of the High Court, and the Honourable Justice Matthew Palmer as a Judge of the Court of Appeal. Justice Boldt graduated with an LLB from Victoria University of Wellington in 1990, and also holds ...1 week ago
- Education Minister heads to major teaching summit in SingaporeEducation Minister Erica Stanford will lead the New Zealand delegation at the 2024 International Summit on the Teaching Profession (ISTP) held in Singapore. The delegation includes representatives from the Post Primary Teachers’ Association (PPTA) Te Wehengarua and the New Zealand Educational Institute (NZEI) Te Riu Roa. The summit is co-hosted ...1 week ago
- Value of stopbank project proven during cycloneA stopbank upgrade project in Tairawhiti partly funded by the Government has increased flood resilience for around 7000ha of residential and horticultural land so far, Regional Development Minister Shane Jones says. Mr Jones today attended a dawn service in Gisborne to mark the end of the first stage of the ...1 week ago
- Anzac commemorations, Türkiye relationship focus of visitForeign Affairs Minister Winston Peters will represent the Government at Anzac Day commemorations on the Gallipoli Peninsula next week and engage with senior representatives of the Turkish government in Istanbul. “The Gallipoli campaign is a defining event in our history. It will be a privilege to share the occasion ...1 week ago
- Minister to Europe for OECD meeting, Anzac DayScience, Innovation and Technology and Defence Minister Judith Collins will next week attend the OECD Science and Technology Ministerial conference in Paris and Anzac Day commemorations in Belgium. “Science, innovation and technology have a major role to play in rebuilding our economy and achieving better health, environmental and social outcomes ...1 week ago
- Comprehensive Partnership the goal for NZ and the PhilippinesPrime Minister Christopher Luxon held a bilateral meeting today with the President of the Philippines, Ferdinand Marcos Jr. The Prime Minister was accompanied by MP Paulo Garcia, the first Filipino to be elected to a legislature outside the Philippines. During today’s meeting, Prime Minister Luxon and President Marcos Jr discussed opportunities to ...1 week ago
- Government commits $20m to Westport flood protectionThe Government has announced that $20 million in funding will be made available to Westport to fund much needed flood protection around the town. This measure will significantly improve the resilience of the community, says Local Government Minister Simeon Brown. “The Westport community has already been allocated almost $3 million ...1 week ago
- Taupō takes pole positionThe Government is proud to support the first ever Repco Supercars Championship event in Taupō as up to 70,000 motorsport fans attend the Taupō International Motorsport Park this weekend, says Economic Development Minister Melissa Lee. “Anticipation for the ITM Taupō Super400 is huge, with tickets and accommodation selling out weeks ...1 week ago
- Cost of living support for low-income homeownersLocal Government Minister Simeon Brown has announced an increase to the Rates Rebate Scheme, putting money back into the pockets of low-income homeowners. “The coalition Government is committed to bringing down the cost of living for New Zealanders. That includes targeted support for those Kiwis who are doing things tough, such ...1 week ago
- Government backing mussel spat projectThe Coalition Government is investing in a project to boost survival rates of New Zealand mussels and grow the industry, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones has announced. “This project seeks to increase the resilience of our mussels and significantly boost the sector’s productivity,” Mr Jones says. “The project - ...1 week ago
- Government focused on getting people into workBenefit figures released today underscore the importance of the Government’s plan to rebuild the economy and have 50,000 fewer people on Jobseeker Support, Social Development and Employment Minister Louise Upston says. “Benefit numbers are still significantly higher than when National was last in government, when there was about 70,000 fewer ...2 weeks ago
- Clean energy key driver to reducing emissionsThe Government’s commitment to doubling New Zealand’s renewable energy capacity is backed by new data showing that clean energy has helped the country reach its lowest annual gross emissions since 1999, Climate Change Minister Simon Watts says. New Zealand’s latest Greenhouse Gas Inventory (1990-2022) published today, shows gross emissions fell ...2 weeks ago
- Earthquake-prone buildings review brought forwardThe Government is bringing the earthquake-prone building review forward, with work to start immediately, and extending the deadline for remediations by four years, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says. “Our Government is focused on rebuilding the economy. A key part of our plan is to cut red tape that ...2 weeks ago
- Thailand and NZ to agree to Strategic PartnershipPrime Minister Christopher Luxon and his Thai counterpart, Prime Minister Srettha Thavisin, have today agreed that New Zealand and the Kingdom of Thailand will upgrade the bilateral relationship to a Strategic Partnership by 2026. “New Zealand and Thailand have a lot to offer each other. We have a strong mutual desire to build ...2 weeks ago
- Government consults on extending coastal permits for portsRMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop and Transport Minister Simeon Brown have today announced the Coalition Government’s intention to extend port coastal permits for a further 20 years, providing port operators with certainty to continue their operations. “The introduction of the Resource Management Act in 1991 required ports to obtain coastal ...2 weeks ago
- Biden hails ‘press freedom, democracy’ but ignores Gaza media death toll of 142
The protest outside the White House correspondents’ dinner hotel. Image: Anatolu video screenshot APR More than two dozen Palestinian journalists had called for a boycott of the dinner, writing an open letter urging their American colleagues not to attend. “You have a unique responsibility to speak truth to power and ...4 hours ago - Fast-track Approvals Bill Presents A Serious Risk To New Zealand Exporters
“Our exporters should, therefore, be deeply concerned that the Fast-track Approvals Bill was not assessed for consistency with any of our free trade commitments prior to being introduced to the House,” says Gary Taylor, Chief Executive of the Environmental ...7 hours ago - 'Immigration changes necessary' – Stanford
Immigration Minister Erica Stanford says work has started on a broader accredited employer work visa review. ...8 hours ago - Green co-leader James Shaw came 'very close' to resigning as minister under Labour govtThe former minister reveals he "ended up storming out" of a Cabinet meeting over disagreements on climate change and biodiversity. ...10 hours ago
- NZCTU Welcomes Corporate Manslaughter Bill IntroductionNZCTU President Richard Wagstaff is calling on all political parties to support the new Member’s Bill from Labour’s workplace relations and safety spokesperson Camilla Belich MP that would ensure negligent companies are held accountable when their employees ...10 hours ago
- US election forecaster with near-perfect track record not ready call 2024 just yetA historian with an uncanny track record of predicting US election winners tells RNZ's Sunday Morning that President Biden looks to be on track for another term, but things could still go very wrong for him. ...11 hours ago
- US election forecaster with near-perfect track record not ready to call 2024 just yetA historian with a track record of predicting US election winners tells RNZ's Sunday Morning that President Biden looks to be on track for another term, but things could still go wrong for him. ...11 hours ago
- Fish and quiz: The many uses of written parliamentary questionsMinisters have to answer thousands of written questions each year - but how are they used, and for what end? ...12 hours ago
- Former Deputy PM Paula Bennett appointed Pharmac board chairThe former National MP "brings a wealth of experience" to the role, David Seymour says. ...14 hours ago
- Inside the home of New Zealand’s greatest crime writer
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- An Ode to .. King Luxon
Performance Review King Luxon sat behind His massive polished oak desk. It is Performance Review time. There is a knock on the door. “Enter!” says the King. In steps Minister of Disabilities and Carer Pedicures, Penny Simmonds. “I can explain everything …” she begins. “Fine,” says King Luxon, pressing the ...17 hours ago - In the studio with artist power couple Claudia Kogachi and Josephine JelicichThe pair opened their first fully collaborative exhibition, Nina for Flowers, last Saturday. Gabi Lardies visited their studio to find out who Nina is and what working together was like. ‘It didn’t start out like, ‘This is a show about Nina,’” says Josephine Jelicich, gripping a thermos of peppermint tea. ...20 hours ago
- An ode to the muesli bar, a national treasureThank you, Dr Maximilian Oskar Bircher-Benner, for your brilliant invention. I’m another mid-20s Kiwi who had an OE last year. I hopped on my bicycle where France meets the Atlantic and cycled east. I pedalled through the Loire Valley, down rivers lined with willows and ancient wisteria-draped chateaus. I relished ...20 hours ago
- Government urged to hit the gas on revamp of road user chargesInfrastructure New Zealand is pushing for new road user charges to be brought in quicker to help relieve pressure on strained transport funding. ...1 day ago
- US student Palestine protests against Israel’s war on Gaza inspire global actionAsia Pacific Report From France to Australia, university pro-Palestine protests in the United States have now spread to several countries with students pitching on-campus camps. And students at Columbia and other US universities remain defiant as campuses have witnessed the biggest protests since the anti-Vietnam war and anti-apartheid eras in ...1 day ago
- Former Te Whatu Ora chairperson Rob Campbell criticises Health NZ's 'savings' directi...Rob Campbell said it shows "poor management" and is "frankly irresponsible". ...1 day ago
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- Bryce Edwards – FastTrackWatch: The Case for the Government’s Fast Track BillAnalysis by Dr Bryce Edwards, Democracy Project (https://democracyproject.nz) New Zealand Government’s Fast Track legislation. Many criticisms are being made of the Government’s Fast Track Approvals Bill, including by this writer. But as with everything in politics, every story has two sides, and both deserve attention. It’s important to understand what the Government ...1 day ago
- NZ and Türkiye pledge cooperation during natural disastersThe two countries have "a long history of coming to each other's aid", including after the 2023 Turkish earthquakes, Winston Peters says. ...2 days ago
- Waste not, want not: New series Food Waste Kitchen turns food trash into treasureTara Ward talks to presenter Naomi Toilalo about the new TV show that turns food waste into a three course feast. Naomi Toilalo is standing in the warehouse at Good Neighbour Tauranga, helping unpack the two-and-a-half tonnes of rejected food that will arrive at the community support hub that day. ...2 days ago
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- Dog of the month: Scout, who is so independent she could be a catScout is our latest Dog of the Month. This feature was offered as a reward during our What’s Eating Aotearoa PledgeMe campaign. Thank you to Scout’s human, Avril, for her support. Dog name: Scout (named after the little girl in To Kill a Mockingbird – she inherited the independent spirit ...2 days ago
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- Behind the counter: Wellington shopkeepersA new exhibition in Wellington showcases the faces behind your local goods and services. Back in 1977, when I was a fine arts student at the University of Canterbury, I took a series of photographs of Christchurch shopkeepers. The photos were for a calendar – a project for my end ...2 days ago
- Iranian Solidarity Group New Zealand Condemns Toomaj Salehi's Death Sentence And The New Aggres...Toomaj and his resistance to tyranny through his songs have become an icon for the youth of Iran, so his sentence has hit the nation hard. Toomaj Salehi is not the first artist to pay the price for standing with the people. ...2 days ago
- Short story: Calf Creek, by Anna ScaifeMy cousin Dylan and I spotted these big eels under the bridge that summer. We watched them lounging under the dark weed, facing into the flow of water, their mouths frozen open. Dylan and I couldn’t stop thinking about those eels. The night we went down to the creek, we ...2 days ago
- Newsroom welcomes the Secret DiaryNewsroom, home of satire. My long-running weekly satirical series The Secret Diary has moved to Newsroom and will appear every Saturday, with Victor Billot’s wildly popular satirical Odes continuing to appear every Sunday. Diaries, Odes – while serious political columnists toil at meaningful opinions and stroke their chins to an ...2 days ago
- I saw ‘The Sign’, and it opened up my eyes: All the fuss around Bluey, explainedTara Ward unravels the many nuanced layers of a cartoon about talking dogs. This is an excerpt from our weekly pop culture newsletter Rec Room. Sign up here. It’s not often an episode of a children’s cartoon has adults sobbing into their sleeves, but that’s exactly what happened this week when ...2 days ago
- Jessica Tater has ambition without bordersWorking as a doctor in developing countries to help communities achieve better health outcomes is nothing short of a life goal for Jessica Tater. The University of Otago medical student has her sights firmly set on joining the international humanitarian organisation Doctors Without Borders/Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF) when she qualifies ...2 days ago
- The island where people’s stories are paramountThere’s an island in the far reaches of Auckland’s territory, sitting off the tip of the Coromandel Peninsula, 30 minutes by air from the city or four hours on the slow boat. Aotea Great Barrier is off-grid, it has a population of fewer than a thousand people … and most ...2 days ago
- Australian author leads silence protest over ‘blood debt’ owed to PapuansAsia Pacific Report An Australian author and advocate, Jim Aubrey, today led a national symbolic one minute’s silence to mark the “blood debt” owed to Papuan allies during the Second World War indigenous resistance against the invading Japanese forces. “A promise to most people is a promise,” Aubrey said in ...2 days ago
- Israel delays Gaza Freedom Flotilla departure with bureaucratic ‘block’Asia Pacific Report The Freedom Flotilla is ready to sail to Gaza, reports Kia Ora Gaza. All the required paperwork has been submitted to the port authority, and the cargo has been loaded and prepared for the humanitarian trip to the besieged enclave. However, organisers received word of an “administrative ...2 days ago
- Have New Zealanders really been ‘misled’ about AUKUS, or is involvement now a foregone conclusio...ANALYSIS: By Marco de Jong, Auckland University of Technology and Robert G. Patman, University of Otago When former prime minister Helen Clark spoke out against New Zealand potentially compromising its independent foreign policy by joining pillar two of the AUKUS security pact, Foreign Minister Winston Peters responded bluntly: On ...2 days ago
- Palestine protesters challenge TVNZ over Israeli ambassador’s ‘propaganda’Pacific Media Watch Palestine solidarity protesters today demonstrated at the Auckland headquarters of Television New Zealand, accusing the country’s major TV network of broadcasting “propaganda” backing Israel’s genocidal war on Gaza. About 50 protesters targeted the main entrance to the TVNZ building near Sky Tower and also picketed a side ...2 days ago
- Lynley Hood Opinion – Senator Fulbright must be spinning in his grave2 days ago
- Fast-track bill could affect NZ's reputation – Transparency InternationalThe ministers responsible for green-lighting major projects need to be open about potential conflicts of interest, says Transparency International. ...2 days ago
- We’re all feeling the collective grief and trauma of violence against women – but this is the pr...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Anastasia Powell, Professor, Family and Sexual Violence, RMIT University It has been a particularly distressing start to the year. There is little that can ease the current grief of individuals, families and communities who have needlessly lost a loved one to men’s ...2 days ago
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- Jobseekers get about $345 less than pensioners each fortnight. This gap is hurting, and is set to wi...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Peter Whiteford, Professor, Crawford School of Public Policy, Australian National University The government’s Economic Inclusion Advisory Committee has just published its second report. It was set up by Treasurer Jim Chalmers and Minister for Social Services Amanda Rishworth in 2022 to provide: ...2 days ago
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- Why the potential for another Donald Trump presidency is making Iran very nervousSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Amin Naeni, PhD candidate at Alfred Deakin Institute for Citizenship and Globalisation, Deakin University There’s been much talk in recent months about what a possible second Donald Trump presidency in the United States could mean for Europe, Russia’s war in Ukraine, the ...2 days ago
- ‘The worst piece of law proposed since 1979’: Reactions to the Fast-track Approvals BillA brief round-up of submissions on the controversial proposed law. This is an excerpt from our weekly environmental newsletter Future Proof. Sign up here. Last week, submissions on the controversial Fast-track Approvals Bill closed just hours after the government released a list of stakeholder organisations who were sent letters advising how they could ...2 days ago
- The Friday Poem: ‘Cereal giving’ by Robin PeaceA poem from Robin Peace’s new collection Detritus of Empire: feather / grass / rock. Cereal giving I see a woman’s hands, see her curious hands break a stalk as she walks through the tall prairie, the savannah, the steppe, wherever it was. See her idly bite the grass that ...2 days ago
- The Unity Books bestseller chart for the week ending April 26The only published and available best-selling indie book chart in New Zealand is the top 10 sales list recorded every week at Unity Books’ stores in High St, Auckland, and Willis St, Wellington. AUCKLAND 1 Hemingway’s Goblet by Dermot Ross (Mary Egan Publishing, $38) A handsomely produced (debossed cover, lovely ...2 days ago
- Te Rūnanga O Ngāti Whātua Welcomes Commissioner's Decision Regarding Awataha MaraeThe Commissioner's decision validates the longstanding efforts of the local community and ensures that Awataha Marae will be managed to serve the needs of the local community, particularly for hosting tangihanga. ...2 days ago
- We reconstructed landscapes that greeted the first humans in Australia around 65,000 years agoSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Tristan Salles, Associate professor, University of Sydney Examples of Australian landscapes. Unsplash Seventy thousand years ago, the sea level was much lower than today. Australia, along with New Guinea and Tasmania, formed a connected landmass known as Sahul. Around this time – ...2 days ago
- What do we lose when our old suburbs disappear?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Felicity Castagna, Lecturer, Creative Writing, Western Sydney University Day Day Market, Parramatta Photo: Garry Trinh I live on the edge of Parramatta, Australia’s fastest-growing city, on the kind of old-fashioned suburban street that has 1950s fibros constructed in the post-war housing boom, ...2 days ago
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- After spending $700,000 on pins for Covid-19 workers, department now cutting costsA government office that set aside millions for lapel pins for pandemic workers is now looking to cut back on spending. ...3 days ago
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- Political editors panel: A reshuffle and the fast trackListen - RNZ's Jo Moir and NZ Herald's Claire Trevett dissect the demotion of two ministers and the PM's response on Morning Report. ...3 days ago
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- China’s money only goes so far – Kokoda shows why history binds PNG and Australia in a far deepe...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Ian Kemish, Adjunct Professor, School of Historical and Philosophical Inquiry, The University of Queensland There can be no more powerful symbol of the relationship between Australia and Papua New Guinea than the prime ministers of these neighbouring countries walking together on the ...3 days ago
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Proudly showing off national’s achievement in solving the housing crisis, Ta daa, a door. Elect us, and over the course of the next three years, we’re aspirational we might have a wall to go with it.
or
After the peoples republic seized power. ‘It is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known, as I walk in to the crushinator of destiny’.
lol 100+ The Allen
key:..and this armpit here..this is where i keep slater…
key hesitates at the doors of perception..
key:..’i told you my shit doesn’t stink’..
key throws a wobbly…
key throws slater to the wolves..
v.r.w.c. meet in a shipping container..
Come into my boudoir….
Chucker!.
‘
Superstar right-arm spinner John Key deliver’s another “flipper”.
Homeless man in container taunted with sausage by John Key
This way, Judith! Your transport is waiting for you.
Spot the garbage.
Key throws down another wrongun
“Im singing in the drain, just singing in the drain, what a glorious awning, im campaigning again
First ritchie, now judith in the bin t
And you stare at me
In your Jesus Christ pose
Arms held out
Like you’ve been carrying a load
And you swear to me
You don’t want to be my slave
But you’re staring at me
Like I need to be saved
In your Jesus Christ pose
Arms held out
In your Jesus Christ pose
Thorns and shroud
Like it’s the coming of the Lord
And I swear to you
That I would never feed you pain
But you’re staring at me
Like I’m driving the nails
In your Jesus Christ pose
And you stare at me
In your Jesus Christ pose
Arms held out like it’s
The coming of the Lord
And would it pay you more to walk on water
Than to wear a crown of thorns
It wouldn’t pain me more to bury you rich
Than to bury you poor
In your Jesus Christ pose
“Bennett ? ” The PM was asked
“yeah its like throwing sausage into a shipping container”
He replied
Two great quotes from Richie Benaud work well
“The key thing was to learn the value of economy with words and to never insult the viewer by telling them what they can already see.”
“Captaincy is 90 per cent luck and 10 per cent skill. But don’t try it without that 10 per cent.”
Welcome to my country. Please put all your money in the red bins.
Come here i have found Hagers latest cosigment of books!
key pirouettes into a metal-closet…
Key lets Crusher out
key feeds crusher..?
FIGJAM
Hey you guys, come over here quick and watch Crusher and Bennie mud wrestling for my office!
It’s not true that Judith Collins has me by the nuts. Look, I’ve got them right here in my hand.
@ Te Reo Putake:
Oh No ! This is my sausage ! She must have them after all !
Got em
Yes
Fuck off Key you are out
“Tosser spotted on election trail.”
Now that I’m known as numbnuts,these kept retracting any way.
New extradition plan, “Come here Kim, I’ve got a bratwurst for you, I’ll just leave it in here….”
Hello Nuwzlund! Come and see my sausage sizzle!
.
.
.
[Now or never!]
.
.
.
[Final clearance in 25 days…at the end of the day!]
Ah yes, this must the the airport exit door. Now, look here, my man, I’m exceptionally busy, and…
JOHN!!!! You forgot to pull the pin on that last one!!!!
“Wills, Kate, can I drag you away from this year’s State Barbecue to show you one of our Affordable Homes? It’s this way…”
“Tra-la la, la la-la. Tra-la la,la la-la. I hear nothing. Tra-la la…”
lol
key pretends to lean to the left..but really still hangs onto the right..
key:..’this is where i throw ministers i have fired/tired of..look..!..there’s anne tolley..!’
Ok first batch of illegals, poor, vulnerable,first home buyers,single mothers dispatched to Nauru……next 500 to be squeezed into container please….move to the back!
Gawd, that’s the problem when I do that right handed salute,,,,,,,my arm locks up…bugger
Ohhhhhhhh look poor people! Call Up the Bennet, Unmuzzle Her…….Unleash the Bennet!
Ok I will distract the press with my miming impression…..Collins, Bennet, stay in the dustbins and don’t come out till the election is over!
Nationals answer to the housing shortage in New Zealand…. One container per family!!!
Yis, I’ve had a good chew of this over the past 10 days, so now watch me chuck it away….
At the new national government policy of stone the poor,,,, Emperor Keys was unsure to give the thumbs up or perhaps the thumbs down? decisions decisions he thought.
Ok,,,,we need moreeeeeeeeeeeee people to get Pete Georges Ego out of that shipping container!
Keys pointed the way to Chinese delegation to buy the whole of the south island,,,after he put their poor into the shipping container.
As Labour had no access to SIS info on their opponents,,,Cunliffe and Goff resorted to hiding in bins to listen to Keys,,and hoped the red topped bin would not give game away.
Bloke at back portacom….Oh gawd fellas…….that fuck wit is back
Another porkie from the PM.
With new govt cutbacks to the New Zealand armed forces,,,,,,Keys proudly showed off the remaining military personnel left,,,,whilst he threw the new stealth hand grenade……..
Fella at back of in portacom…ok,,,I have enough of that poseur….fellas fill those bins with ice cold water and pour it over him..that way he might go away.
Rock, paper, scissors or more cuts?
Animal, vegetable, mineral or Bennet?
Body guard in shades behind keys….”Base code one, he’s shit himself again”
One two three………………….. plie..Pirouettes next week John!
Nothing to see here….move along move..We are just putting the stockpiles on that awkward book into the shipping container……..Now move along.
‘Those feral buggers in Christchurch are forever whinging about their housing problems. Send this lousy container to one of the scum. That will teach them!’
‘Meat is expensive, they say? Let them eat sausage! Look at me! And that will learn them!’
finally losing his cool after repeated questions about his role in ‘Dirty Politics’, key attempted to punch the nearest reporter
John throws another crumb of hope to the adoring masses waiting below with tumbrils and knitting.
Sailing away!
Metal door tries desperately to avoid the shame of being photographed with unhinged corporate raider.
LOL! Brilliant!
Disgraced outgoing PM John Key feeds his poor as mystery man lights his pants on fire.
And in other news: Does anyone know if One News is going to be releasing data from Vote Compass on average voter position relative to party position pre election? If the issue specific stuff they have released so far is anything to go by I think it might help some people wake up, have the confidence to vote on policy and help change the government.
Disclaimer: I know it is unlikely he would ever actually feed his poor.
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/rockbeyondbelief/2013/08/16/youre-supposed-to-actually-toss-the-grenade-away-from-yourself/
You’re Supposed to Actually Toss the Grenade Away from Yourself!
Ensure you are able to throw the grenade far enough away to not get yourself or some unintended target hurt…ya know like a victim whose name will more than likely be made public because there are no such protections in a libel suit.
Key throws bbq left overs to rabbid press!
to try and contain the bad news!
before the door shuts on his corrupt political career!
Just practicing my bowling action to be as good as that thicko, Batsh*t Beckham!
Emperor in New Clothes !
Throws away his barbequed beef because its not cooked in Whale oil!
John key proves to the press he has solved the problem of the homeless and starving in New Zealand by tossing in a piece of half eaten sausage he no longer wants to those people he has moved into a set of old rusty shipping containers rented to them by a family trust partly belonging to his wife and children.
xox
Hey you Guys! ( scummy media types)
” Ready for my Ascension to Planet Key photograph?”
xox
Don’t look back John, you’re being shadowed.
xox
Sausage in the Sea! Are you a total illiterate?
ALIEN ALERT: Key’s devilspawn trident tail revealed on camera for first time.
Hey Paula come and look, Judith’s swamp kauri coffins back from China.
Now I’ll just chuck in some tax cuts. Hey Bill, the policy containers still pretty empty.
I’m throwing bullshit to my followers, they love it. Plenty more to come o ye faithful.
There’s John Key standing at leg slip with his legs wide apart, waiting for a tickle…….
In response to the revelations about the links between the Right Wing Whale Oil blogsite and the National Party, John Key stands at the door of a well known centrist website and tries to throw mud at it.
Yes I think I think I have created a new CARGO CULT out of the NZ voter
They still believe my Trickledown bullshit is real
Smiling puppet obediently serves ruling class masters.