Caption competition
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2:15 pm, August 26th, 2014 - 82 comments
Categories: caption contest, john key -
Tags: sausage
82 comments on “Caption competition ”
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- Release: Public transport costs to double as National looks at unaffordable roading project insteadCancelling urgently needed new Cook Strait ferries and hiking the cost of public transport for many Kiwis so that National can announce the prospect of another tunnel for Wellington is not making good choices, Labour Transport Spokesperson Tangi Utikere said. ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Cost of living in Auckland still not a priorityA laundry list of additional costs for Tāmaki Makarau Auckland shows the Minister for the city is not delivering for the people who live there, says Labour Auckland Issues spokesperson Shanan Halbert. ...3 weeks ago
- Te Pāti Māori to visit Queensland to strengthen ties with Māori in AustraliaTe Pāti Māori co-leader Rawiri Waititi, and Mema Paremata mō Tāmaki-Makaurau, Takutai Tarsh Kemp, will travel to the Gold Coast to strengthen ties with Māori in Australia next week (15-21 April). The visit, in the lead-up to the 9th Australian National Kapa haka Festival, will be an opportunity for both ...3 weeks ago
- Speech to New Zealand China Council
Thank you, John McKinnon and the New Zealand China Council for the invitation to speak to you today. Thank you too, all members of the China Council. Your effort has played an essential role in helping to build, shape, and grow a balanced and resilient relationship between our two ...3 hours ago - Modern insurance law will protect Kiwi householdsThe Government is modernising insurance law to better protect Kiwis and provide security in the event of a disaster, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly announced today. “These reforms are long overdue. New Zealand’s insurance law is complicated and dated, some of which is more than 100 years old. ...18 hours ago
- Government recommits to equal payThe coalition Government is refreshing its approach to supporting pay equity claims as time-limited funding for the Pay Equity Taskforce comes to an end, Public Service Minister Nicola Willis says. “Three years ago, the then-government introduced changes to the Equal Pay Act to support pay equity bargaining. The changes were ...21 hours ago
- Transforming how our children learn to readStructured literacy will change the way New Zealand children learn to read - improving achievement and setting students up for success, Education Minister Erica Stanford says. “Being able to read and write is a fundamental life skill that too many young people are missing out on. Recent data shows that ...22 hours ago
- NZ not backing down in Canada dairy disputeTrade Minister Todd McClay says Canada’s refusal to comply in full with a CPTPP trade dispute ruling in our favour over dairy trade is cynical and New Zealand has no intention of backing down. Mr McClay said he has asked for urgent legal advice in respect of our ‘next move’ ...1 day ago
- Stronger oversight for our most vulnerable childrenThe rights of our children and young people will be enhanced by changes the coalition Government will make to strengthen oversight of the Oranga Tamariki system, including restoring a single Children’s Commissioner. “The Government is committed to delivering better public services that care for our most at-risk young people and ...1 day ago
- Streamlining Building Consent ChangesThe Government is making it easier for minor changes to be made to a building consent so building a home is easier and more affordable, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says. “The coalition Government is focused on making it easier and cheaper to build homes so we can ...1 day ago
- Minister acknowledges passing of Sir Robert Martin (KNZM)New Zealand lost a true legend when internationally renowned disability advocate Sir Robert Martin (KNZM) passed away at his home in Whanganui last night, Disabilities Issues Minister Louise Upston says. “Our Government’s thoughts are with his wife Lynda, family and community, those he has worked with, the disability community in ...2 days ago
- Speech to New Zealand Institute of International Affairs, Parliament – Annual Lecture: Challenges ...Good evening – Before discussing the challenges and opportunities facing New Zealand’s foreign policy, we’d like to first acknowledge the New Zealand Institute of International Affairs. You have contributed to debates about New Zealand foreign policy over a long period of time, and we thank you for hosting us. ...2 days ago
- Accelerating airport security linesFrom today, passengers travelling internationally from Auckland Airport will be able to keep laptops and liquids in their carry-on bags for security screening thanks to new technology, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. “Creating a more efficient and seamless travel experience is important for holidaymakers and businesses, enabling faster movement through ...2 days ago
- Community hui to talk about kina barrensPeople with an interest in the health of Northland’s marine ecosystems are invited to a public meeting to discuss how to deal with kina barrens, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. Mr Jones will lead the discussion, which will take place on Friday, 10 May, at Awanui Hotel in ...2 days ago
- Kiwi exporters win as NZ-EU FTA enters into forceKiwi exporters are $100 million better off today with the NZ EU FTA entering into force says Trade Minister Todd McClay. “This is all part of our plan to grow the economy. New Zealand's prosperity depends on international trade, making up 60 per cent of the country’s total economic activity. ...2 days ago
- Mining resurgence a welcome signThere are heartening signs that the extractive sector is once again becoming an attractive prospect for investors and a source of economic prosperity for New Zealand, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. “The beginnings of a resurgence in extractive industries are apparent in media reports of the sector in the past ...2 days ago
- Ō-Rākau Remembrance Bill passes first readingThe return of the historic Ō-Rākau battle site to the descendants of those who fought there moved one step closer today with the first reading of Te Pire mō Ō-Rākau, Te Pae o Maumahara / The Ō-Rākau Remembrance Bill. The Bill will entrust the 9.7-hectare battle site, five kilometres west ...3 days ago
- Government to boost public EV charging networkEnergy Minister Simeon Brown has announced 25 new high-speed EV charging hubs along key routes between major urban centres and outlined the Government’s plan to supercharge New Zealand’s EV infrastructure. The hubs will each have several chargers and be capable of charging at least four – and up to 10 ...3 days ago
- Residential Property Managers Bill to not progressThe coalition Government will not proceed with the previous Government’s plans to regulate residential property managers, Housing Minister Chris Bishop says. “I have written to the Chairperson of the Social Services and Community Committee to inform him that the Government does not intend to support the Residential Property Managers Bill ...3 days ago
- Independent review into disability support servicesThe Government has announced an independent review into the disability support system funded by the Ministry of Disabled People – Whaikaha. Disability Issues Minister Louise Upston says the review will look at what can be done to strengthen the long-term sustainability of Disability Support Services to provide disabled people and ...3 days ago
- Justice Minister updates UN on law & order planJustice Minister Paul Goldsmith has attended the Universal Periodic Review in Geneva and outlined the Government’s plan to restore law and order. “Speaking to the United Nations Human Rights Council provided us with an opportunity to present New Zealand’s human rights progress, priorities, and challenges, while responding to issues and ...3 days ago
- Ending emergency housing motels in RotoruaThe Government and Rotorua Lakes Council are committed to working closely together to end the use of contracted emergency housing motels in Rotorua. Associate Minister of Housing (Social Housing) Tama Potaka says the Government remains committed to ending the long-term use of contracted emergency housing motels in Rotorua by the ...3 days ago
- Trade Minister travels to Riyadh, OECD, and DubaiTrade Minister Todd McClay heads overseas today for high-level trade talks in the Gulf region, and a key OECD meeting in Paris. Mr McClay will travel to Riyadh to meet with counterparts from Saudi Arabia and the Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC). “New Zealand’s goods and services exports to the Gulf region ...4 days ago
- Education priorities focused on lifting achievementEducation Minister Erica Stanford has outlined six education priorities to deliver a world-leading education system that sets Kiwi kids up for future success. “I’m putting ambition, achievement and outcomes at the heart of our education system. I want every child to be inspired and engaged in their learning so they ...4 days ago
- NZTA App first step towards digital driver licenceThe new NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) App is a secure ‘one stop shop’ to provide the services drivers need, Transport Minister Simeon Brown and Digitising Government Minister Judith Collins say. “The NZTA App will enable an easier way for Kiwis to pay for Vehicle Registration and Road User Charges (RUC). ...4 days ago
- Supporting whānau out of emergency housingWhānau with tamariki growing up in emergency housing motels will be prioritised for social housing starting this week, says Associate Housing Minister Tama Potaka. “Giving these whānau a better opportunity to build healthy stable lives for themselves and future generations is an essential part of the Government’s goal of reducing ...4 days ago
- Tribute to Dave O'SullivanRacing Minister Winston Peters has paid tribute to an icon of the industry with the recent passing of Dave O’Sullivan (OBE). “Our sympathies are with the O’Sullivan family with the sad news of Dave O’Sullivan’s recent passing,” Mr Peters says. “His contribution to racing, initially as a jockey and then ...4 days ago
- Speech – Eid al-FitrAssalaamu alaikum, greetings to you all. Eid Mubarak, everyone! I want to extend my warmest wishes to you and everyone celebrating this joyous occasion. It is a pleasure to be here. I have enjoyed Eid celebrations at Parliament before, but this is my first time joining you as the Minister ...4 days ago
- Government saves access to medicinesAssociate Health Minister David Seymour has announced Pharmac’s largest ever budget of $6.294 billion over four years, fixing a $1.774 billion fiscal cliff. “Access to medicines is a crucial part of many Kiwis’ lives. We’ve committed to a budget allocation of $1.774 billion over four years so Kiwis are ...4 days ago
- Pharmac Chair appointedHon Paula Bennett has been appointed as member and chair of the Pharmac board, Associate Health Minister David Seymour announced today. "Pharmac is a critical part of New Zealand's health system and plays a significant role in ensuring that Kiwis have the best possible access to medicines,” says Mr Seymour. ...5 days ago
- Taking action on Fetal Alcohol Spectrum DisorderHundreds of New Zealand families affected by Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) will benefit from a new Government focus on prevention and treatment, says Health Minister Dr Shane Reti. “We know FASD is a leading cause of preventable intellectual and neurodevelopmental disability in New Zealand,” Dr Reti says. “Every day, ...6 days ago
- New sports complex opens in KaikoheRegional Development Minister Shane Jones today attended the official opening of Kaikohe’s new $14.7 million sports complex. “The completion of the Kaikohe Multi Sports Complex is a fantastic achievement for the Far North,” Mr Jones says. “This facility not only fulfils a long-held dream for local athletes, but also creates ...6 days ago
- Diplomacy needed more than everForeign Minister Winston Peters’ engagements in Türkiye this week underlined the importance of diplomacy to meet growing global challenges. “Returning to the Gallipoli Peninsula to represent New Zealand at Anzac commemorations was a sombre reminder of the critical importance of diplomacy for de-escalating conflicts and easing tensions,” Mr Peters ...6 days ago
- Anzac Commemorative Address, Buttes New British Cemetery BelgiumAmbassador Millar, Burgemeester, Vandepitte, Excellencies, military representatives, distinguished guests, ladies and gentlemen – good morning and welcome to this sacred Anzac Day dawn service. It is an honour to be here on behalf of the Government and people of New Zealand at Buttes New British Cemetery, Polygon Wood – a deeply ...7 days ago
- Anzac Commemorative Address – NZ National Service, Chunuk BairDistinguished guests - It is an honour to return once again to this site which, as the resting place for so many of our war-dead, has become a sacred place for generations of New Zealanders. Our presence here and at the other special spaces of Gallipoli is made ...1 week ago
- Anzac Commemorative Address – Dawn Service, Gallipoli, TürkiyeMai ia tawhiti pamamao, te moana nui a Kiwa, kua tae whakaiti mai matou, ki to koutou papa whenua. No koutou te tapuwae, no matou te tapuwae, kua honoa pumautia. Ko nga toa kua hinga nei, o te Waipounamu, o te Ika a Maui, he okioki tahi me o ...1 week ago
- PM announces changes to portfoliosPaul Goldsmith will take on responsibility for the Media and Communications portfolio, while Louise Upston will pick up the Disability Issues portfolio, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon announced today. “Our Government is relentlessly focused on getting New Zealand back on track. As issues change in prominence, I plan to adjust Ministerial ...1 week ago
- New catch limits for unique fishery areasRecreational catch limits will be reduced in areas of Fiordland and the Chatham Islands to help keep those fisheries healthy and sustainable, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. The lower recreational daily catch limits for a range of finfish and shellfish species caught in the Fiordland Marine Area and ...1 week ago
- Minister welcomes hydrogen milestoneEnergy Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed an important milestone in New Zealand’s hydrogen future, with the opening of the country’s first network of hydrogen refuelling stations in Wiri. “I want to congratulate the team at Hiringa Energy and its partners K one W one (K1W1), Mitsui & Co New Zealand ...1 week ago
- Urgent changes to system through first RMA Amendment BillThe coalition Government is delivering on its commitment to improve resource management laws and give greater certainty to consent applicants, with a Bill to amend the Resource Management Act (RMA) expected to be introduced to Parliament next month. RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop has today outlined the first RMA Amendment ...1 week ago
- Overseas decommissioning models consideredOverseas models for regulating the oil and gas sector, including their decommissioning regimes, are being carefully scrutinised as a potential template for New Zealand’s own sector, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. The Coalition Government is focused on rebuilding investor confidence in New Zealand’s energy sector as it looks to strengthen ...1 week ago
- Release of North Island Severe Weather Event InquiryEmergency Management and Recovery Minister Mark Mitchell has today released the Report of the Government Inquiry into the response to the North Island Severe Weather Events. “The report shows that New Zealand’s emergency management system is not fit-for-purpose and there are some significant gaps we need to address,” Mr Mitchell ...1 week ago
- Justice Minister to attend Human Rights CouncilJustice Minister Paul Goldsmith is today travelling to Europe where he’ll update the United Nations Human Rights Council on the Government’s work to restore law and order. “Attending the Universal Periodic Review in Geneva provides us with an opportunity to present New Zealand’s human rights progress, priorities, and challenges, while ...2 weeks ago
- Vanuatu’s Kalsakau resigns, calls for delay on constitutional referendum
By Lydia Lewis, RNZ Pacific journalist Vanuatu’s former prime minister and opposition MP Ishmael Kalsakau has stepped down — just two days after he confirmed he was the rightful opposition leader. Kalsakau, MP for Port Vila, confirmed to ABC’s Pacific Beat, and the Vanuatu Daily Post on Thursday that he ...58 mins ago - Winston Peters gives China speech amid legal drama and AUKUS questions
The Foreign Minister spoke about the NZ-China relationship amid lingering questions about the AUKUS security alliance . ...1 hour ago - Gone By Lunchtime: Mojo machine misfires, honeymoon cancelled
What’s to blame for the coalition’s choppy start? Six months in, and the mojo meter is in the doldrums. A new poll would put National out of power and sees its leader, Chris Luxon, sliding in popularity. How much is it about policy, how much coalition management and a perception ...1 hour ago - The Waitangi Tribunal’s latest report is about far more than just child protectionThe striking report goes far beyond the proposed repeal of the Oranga Tamariki Act’s Treaty of Waitangi provision, and its impact should be felt far beyond the unique circumstances of the claim it addresses. Earlier this week, the Waitangi Tribunal released an interim report on the government’s proposed repeal of ...2 hours ago
- Live Winston Peters gives China speech amid legal drama and AUKUS questionsThe Foreign Minister was speaking at the New Zealand China Council while questions linger about the AUKUS security alliance . ...2 hours ago
- 'We weren't informed': Apprentice working on school unaware of asbestosThe Education Ministry is promising to do more about asbestos problems in schools, with tighter controls over detection and removal. ...3 hours ago
- New Treasury Paper On The Productivity Slowdown
The world has been experiencing a productivity slowdown, from which New Zealand has not been exempt. COVID-19 temporarily boosted labour productivity, but more recently, productivity has retreated. The overall trend since 2007 has been one of slow productivity ...3 hours ago - The prison slushy story is back, baby, and it’s less nutritious than everWhat’s more wasteful than spending $315k on syrup and machine maintenance? Trying to drum up a controversy about it. Cast your mind back to the pre-pandemic idylls of 2019. A “rat” was a disgusting rodent and not a self-administered plague test; the sixth Labour government was in power; and the ...3 hours ago
- AI can now generate entire songs on demand. What does this mean for music as we know it?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Oliver Bown, Associate Professor, UNSW Sydney PeamDesign / Shutterstock In March, we saw the launch of a “ChatGPT for music” called Suno, which uses generative AI to produce realistic songs on demand from short text prompts. A few weeks later, a ...3 hours ago
- Domestic violence disclosure schemes may not improve safety for victim-survivors of intimate partner...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Kate Fitz-Gibbon, Professor of Social Sciences, Faculty of Arts, Monash University, Monash University Ken stocker/Shutterstock In the wake of numerous killings of women allegedly by men’s violence in 2024, thousands of Australians have joined rallies across the country to demand action ...3 hours ago
- Clearing the elective surgery backlog will take more than one budget. It’ll need major reformSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Henry Cutler, Professor and Director, Macquarie University Centre for the Health Economy, Macquarie University Oleg Ivanov IL/Shutterstock Waiting times for public hospital elective surgery have been in the news ahead of this year’s federal budget. That’s the type of non-emergency surgery ...3 hours ago
- Why is cancer called cancer? We need to go back to Greco-Roman times for the answerSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Konstantine Panegyres, McKenzie Postdoctoral Fellow, Historical and Philosophical Studies, The University of Melbourne Amna Artist/Shutterstock One of the earliest descriptions of someone with cancer comes from the fourth century BC. Satyrus, tyrant of the city of Heracleia on the Black Sea, ...3 hours ago
- Electric vehicles will start to cut emissions and improve air quality in our cities – but only onc...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By John Rose, Professor of Sustainable Future Transport, University of Sydney LanaElcova/Shutterstock Electric vehicles are often seen as the panacea to cutting emissions – and air pollution – from transport. Is this view correct? Yes – but only once uptake accelerates. Despite the ...3 hours ago
- 4 things our schools should do now to help prevent gender-based violenceSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Giselle Natassia Woodley, Researcher and Phd Candidate, Edith Cowan University There is widespread agreement Australia needs to do better when it comes to gender-based violence. Anger and frustration at the numbers of women being killed saw national rallies over the weekend and ...3 hours ago
- Becoming a landlord while still renting? ‘Rentvesting’ promises a foot on the property ladder, b...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By James Graham, Lecturer in Economics, University of Sydney Mark and Anna Photography/Shutterstock As home ownership moves further out of reach for many Australians, “rentvesting” is being touted as a lifesaver. Rentvesting is the practice of renting one property to live ...3 hours ago
- Season two of Heartbreak High makes diversity feel ‘banal’. This is its strengthSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Sukhmani Khorana, Associate Professor, Faculty of Arts, Design and Architecture, UNSW Sydney Netflix The new season of Heartbreak High is garnering mixed reviews. Critics are writing about the racy story lines, comparing it to other coming-of-age series about teenage relationships and ...3 hours ago
- Winston Peters receives legal letter from Bob Carr after defamation threatBob Carr has confirmed his intention to take legal action against the NZ First leader. ...4 hours ago
- Legal action and bullying allegations: Peters and Genter knock government agenda off its perchBob Carr intends to launch legal action against Winston Peters and Julie Anne Genter is facing a second allegation of bullying. Both sucked the air out of an announcement on education, writes Anna Rawhiti-Connell in this excerpt from The Bulletin, The Spinoff’s morning news round-up. To receive The Bulletin in ...4 hours ago
- New law looks to shake up insuranceThe Minister for Commerce and Consumer Affairs says insurance laws are too complicated and change is long overdue. ...4 hours ago
- Winston Peters' comments about former Australian minister 'unstatesmanlike' – L...David Parker says he has never heard a current minister speak about a senior, retired politician from another country in such a way. ...4 hours ago
- Where is she now? Sally Clark
In 1995, Sally Clark went out on her own in a bold and unorthodox attempt to join an illustrious group of equestrian riders conquering the world. In the days of glovebox road maps, brick cell phones, and the hit song How Bizarre, Clark refused to follow Sir Mark Todd, Blyth ...4 hours ago - Despite a tenfold increase in ADHD prescriptions, too many New Zealanders are still going withoutSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Ben Beaglehole, Senior Lecturer, Department of Psychological Medicine, University of Otago niphon/Getty Images The number of people accessing medication for attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in Aotearoa New Zealand increased significantly between 2006 and 2022. But the disorder is still under-diagnosed and ...6 hours ago
- Pay equity taskforce disbanded, 'no longer required' – MinisterThe government is being accused of "misdirected priorities" after it disestablished the pay equity taskforce. ...7 hours ago
- How bad at reading are New Zealand children?There are more bad readers among our 10-year-olds, but the picture has improved for teenagers, international testing has found. ...7 hours ago
- Knocked Up, American Pie, the Bean movie: A brief history of NZ music in Hollywood To celebrate the start of New Zealand music month, we look back at the best local tuneage that managed to weasel its way into Hollywood productions. There’s nothing quite like the thrilling zap of recognition when New Zealand weasels its way into a glamorous Hollywood production. Crack open a Tui ...7 hours ago
- Why I told a cop about my lasagne and what it’s got to do with the mediaPeople trust other people more than institutions. So how can the media gain that trust through journalists without losing what’s important about the institution? Anna Rawhiti-Connell reflects on two years of curating the news for The Bulletin. Amonth ago, armed cops descended on my neighbourhood as calls to “lock your ...7 hours ago
- Low levels of ‘forever chemicals’ doesn’t mean we can wash our hands of themOpinion: PFAS – per- and polyfluoroalkyl substances – are a class of thousands of man-made chemicals used widely in everyday consumer items such as textiles, packaging, and cookware, popular for their water, grease and stain-repellent properties. However, the very properties that make PFAS so attractive to manufacturers are also what ...7 hours ago
- This week’s biggest selling books – May 3NONFICTION 1 The Last Secret Agent by Pippa Latour & Jude Dobson (Allen & Unwin, $37.99)’ This is the hottest book in New Zealand, number one with a bullet in its first week, selling more than any overseas title, and demand is so huge that it’s already been reprinted. A ...7 hours ago
- Newsroom daily quiz, Friday 3 MayLoading…(function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){var ql=document.querySelectorAll('A,DIV,A[data-quiz],DIV[data-quiz]'); if(ql){if(ql.length){for(var k=0;k<ql.length;k++){ql[k].id='quiz-embed-'+k;ql[k].href="javascript:var i=document.getElementById('quiz-embed-"+k+"');try{qz.startQuiz(i)}catch(e){i.start=1;i.style.cursor='wait';i.style.opacity='0.5'};void(0);"}}};i['QP']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){(i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o),m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m)})(window,document,'script','https://take.quiz-maker.com/3012/CDN/quiz-embed-v1.js','qp'); Got a good quiz question? Send Newsroom your questions. The post Newsroom daily quiz, Friday 3 May appeared first on Newsroom. ...7 hours ago
- Daily crossword, Friday 3 MayThe post Daily crossword, Friday 3 May appeared first on Newsroom. ...7 hours ago
- A cry of help for the James Bond of the bird worldSecretive and shy, the nationally critical, native bitterns are on the edge in Canterbury, a researcher says The post A cry of help for the James Bond of the bird world appeared first on Newsroom. ...7 hours ago
- Drama as the knife hovers over Kiwi soapA warning – suicide is discussed in this podcast New Zealand’s own long-running soap Shortland Street doesn’t hesitate to kill off its much-loved characters. But would TVNZ dare to kill off our favourite soap? That’s the fear as times get tough in television – even though it’s been pointed out ...7 hours ago
- Fast-track bill is a lolly scramble for deep-pocketed applicantsOpinion: There’s nothing transparent about the fast-track bill despite what ministers say The post Fast-track bill is a lolly scramble for deep-pocketed applicants appeared first on Newsroom. ...7 hours ago
- Electoral donations under the microscope with full disclosure imminentGovernment consenting and fisheries policy has seen large donations and those directly to MPs scrutinised – full donations will be released as soon as Friday The post Electoral donations under the microscope with full disclosure imminent appeared first on Newsroom. ...7 hours ago
- Fire and Emergency payroll plan scrapped after spending $29mAfter three years and millions of dollars, Fire and Emergency’s payroll replacement project is back to square one The post Fire and Emergency payroll plan scrapped after spending $29m appeared first on Newsroom. ...7 hours ago
- The Crown versus Māori ChildrenEssay: If the Crown harms children, how do you hold it accountable? Analysis by Aaron Smale in light of the Waitangi Tribunal court decision. The post The Crown versus Māori Children appeared first on Newsroom. ...7 hours ago
- OPM’s Bomanak accuses UN of failing to uphold decolonisation role over West PapuaAsia Pacific Report A West Papuan resistance leader has condemned the United Nations role in allowing Indonesia to “integrate” the Melanesian Pacific region in what is claimed to be an “egregious act of inhumanity” on 1 May 1963. In an open letter to UN Secretary-General António Guterres, Organisasi Papua Merdeka-OPM ...12 hours ago
- Grattan on Friday: O’Neil and Giles dodge the spotlight shining on blunders over ex-detaineesSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michelle Grattan, Professorial Fellow, University of Canberra A key part of the Albanese government’s political strategy is to fill the news cycle with its presence and messaging. Ministers are deployed to the maximum, even when they’ve little to say. This week ...13 hours ago
- Bob Carr confirms intention to launch legal action against Winston PetersCarr has confirmed his lawyers have written to Peters, informing him they intend to launch legal action against him. ...14 hours ago
- A lot to learn from kura kaupapa Māori – Education MinisterDespite low literacy rates in mainstream schools amongst Māori, the results are the complete opposite in kura kaupapa, Stanford says. ...14 hours ago
- Julie Anne Genter: Greens had 'no prior knowledge' of fresh complaint against MPA florist says she felt intimidated during a heated exchange with the MP. ...16 hours ago
- Insurance law overhaul passes first readingRecent extreme weather events showed the importance of a well-functioning insurance system, says Commerce and Consumer Affairs minister Andrew Bayly. ...16 hours ago
- NZ Foreign Minister Peters accused of ‘entirely defamatory’ remarks about ex-Australian ministerBy Jo Moir, RNZ News political editor, and Craig McCulloch, deputy political editor New Zealand’s Labour Party is demanding Winston Peters be stood down as Foreign Minister for opening up the government to legal action over his “totally unacceptable” attack on a prominent AUKUS critic. In an interview on RNZ’s ...16 hours ago
- How much time should you spend sitting versus standing? New research reveals the perfect mix for opt...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Christian Brakenridge, Postdoctoral research fellow at Swinburne University, Centre for Urban Transitions, Baker Heart and Diabetes Institute The Conversation, Gorodenkoff/Shutterstock People have a pretty intuitive sense of what is healthy – standing is better than sitting, exercise is great for overall ...16 hours ago
- Into The Deep End – Karori Lifeguard Up For Challenge As Reserve Force SoldierThe Wellington-based Reserve Force soldier is now almost three years into his New Zealand Army career with 5th/7th Battalion, Royal New Zealand Infantry Regiment. ...17 hours ago
- Brazilian couple's residency case taken up by minister after advisor forgets to apply for visaAfter multiple pleas and petition, an Auckland couple's residency case is being looked at by the Associate Minister of Immigration. ...17 hours ago
- Fast Track Approvals Bill: None from first day of hearings support bill in current formNone of the groups that spoke to Parliament's environment committee on Thursday supported the bill as it stands. ...17 hours ago
- Australia will trial ‘age assurance’ tech to bar children from online porn. What is it and will ...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Paul Haskell-Dowland, Professor of Cyber Security Practice, Edith Cowan University Daniel Jedzura/Shutterstock Responding to a resurgence in gender-based violence and deaths in Australia, the National Cabinet has committed almost A$1 billion to a range of strategies. Tackling “online harms” was among the ...18 hours ago
- Government Cuts Put 130 Jobs On The Line At Kāinga Ora, And 40 At HUD"The Government needs to release the review immediately as this reckless approach to change risks disjointed decision making and creates more distress and uncertainty for staff," Fitzsimons said. ...18 hours ago
- Jeremiah Manele is new Solomon Islands PM with ‘100 day plan’By Koroi Hawkins, RNZ Pacific editor Jeremiah Manele has been elected Prime Minister of Solomon Islands, polling 31 votes to 18 over rival candidate and former opposition leader Mathew Wale with one abstention. The final result of the election by secret ballot was announced by the Governor-General, Sir David Vunagi, ...18 hours ago
- Will Solomon Islands’ new leader stay close to China?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Priestley Habru, PhD candidate, public diplomacy, University of Adelaide Former foreign minister Jeremiah Manele has been elected the next prime minister of Solomon Islands, defeating the opposition leader, Matthew Wale, in a vote in parliament. The result is a mixed bag for ...19 hours ago
- A clock in the rocks: what cosmic rays tell us about Earth’s changing surface and climateSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Shaun Eaves, Senior Lecturer in Physical Geography, Te Herenga Waka — Victoria University of Wellington Jamey Stutz, CC BY-SA How often do mountains collapse, volcanoes erupt or ice sheets melt? For Earth scientists, these are important questions as we try ...21 hours ago
- Watch: PM's pre-Budget education announcement for teaching readingFrom next year, the government expects all public schools to take a "proven structured literacy approach". ...21 hours ago
- Multiple parties complain over Green MP Julie Anne Genter's conductSpeaker Gerry Brownlee won't say which parties have taken issue with Julie Anne Genter's outburst. ...21 hours ago
- Aggressive? Homophobic? Stoic? Here’s what thousands of Australian men told us about modern mascul...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michael Flood, Professor of Sociology, Queensland University of Technology Shutterstock Most young adult men in Australia reject traditional ideas of masculinity that endorse aggression, stoicism and homophobia. Nonetheless, the ongoing influence of those ideas continues to harm men and the people ...21 hours ago
- Watch live as the PM makes pre-Budget education announcementFrom next year, the government expects all public schools to take a "proven structured literacy approach". ...22 hours ago
- NZQA Jobs To Go As Government Education Cuts Roll OnThe NZQA proposal released to staff today would involve a net loss of 35 roles. There are 66 roles being disestablished with 13 of those currently vacant, and 31 new roles proposed, said Fleur Fitzsimons Public Service Association Te Pūkenga Here Tikanga ...22 hours ago
- The star-studded New Zealand movie you need to see as soon as possibleAlex Casey talks to Loren Taylor, the writer, director and star of new film The Moon is Upside Down, about assembling her dream ensemble cast, toilet paper pads and turning literal dreams into reality. There’s a moment in The Moon is Upside Down where frazzled anaesthetist Briar (Loren Taylor) gets ...22 hours ago
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Proudly showing off national’s achievement in solving the housing crisis, Ta daa, a door. Elect us, and over the course of the next three years, we’re aspirational we might have a wall to go with it.
or
After the peoples republic seized power. ‘It is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known, as I walk in to the crushinator of destiny’.
lol 100+ The Allen
key:..and this armpit here..this is where i keep slater…
key hesitates at the doors of perception..
key:..’i told you my shit doesn’t stink’..
key throws a wobbly…
key throws slater to the wolves..
v.r.w.c. meet in a shipping container..
Come into my boudoir….
Chucker!.
‘
Superstar right-arm spinner John Key deliver’s another “flipper”.
Homeless man in container taunted with sausage by John Key
This way, Judith! Your transport is waiting for you.
Spot the garbage.
Key throws down another wrongun
“Im singing in the drain, just singing in the drain, what a glorious awning, im campaigning again
First ritchie, now judith in the bin t
And you stare at me
In your Jesus Christ pose
Arms held out
Like you’ve been carrying a load
And you swear to me
You don’t want to be my slave
But you’re staring at me
Like I need to be saved
In your Jesus Christ pose
Arms held out
In your Jesus Christ pose
Thorns and shroud
Like it’s the coming of the Lord
And I swear to you
That I would never feed you pain
But you’re staring at me
Like I’m driving the nails
In your Jesus Christ pose
And you stare at me
In your Jesus Christ pose
Arms held out like it’s
The coming of the Lord
And would it pay you more to walk on water
Than to wear a crown of thorns
It wouldn’t pain me more to bury you rich
Than to bury you poor
In your Jesus Christ pose
“Bennett ? ” The PM was asked
“yeah its like throwing sausage into a shipping container”
He replied
Two great quotes from Richie Benaud work well
“The key thing was to learn the value of economy with words and to never insult the viewer by telling them what they can already see.”
“Captaincy is 90 per cent luck and 10 per cent skill. But don’t try it without that 10 per cent.”
Welcome to my country. Please put all your money in the red bins.
Come here i have found Hagers latest cosigment of books!
key pirouettes into a metal-closet…
Key lets Crusher out
key feeds crusher..?
FIGJAM
Hey you guys, come over here quick and watch Crusher and Bennie mud wrestling for my office!
It’s not true that Judith Collins has me by the nuts. Look, I’ve got them right here in my hand.
@ Te Reo Putake:
Oh No ! This is my sausage ! She must have them after all !
Got em
Yes
Fuck off Key you are out
“Tosser spotted on election trail.”
Now that I’m known as numbnuts,these kept retracting any way.
New extradition plan, “Come here Kim, I’ve got a bratwurst for you, I’ll just leave it in here….”
Hello Nuwzlund! Come and see my sausage sizzle!
.
.
.
[Now or never!]
.
.
.
[Final clearance in 25 days…at the end of the day!]
Ah yes, this must the the airport exit door. Now, look here, my man, I’m exceptionally busy, and…
JOHN!!!! You forgot to pull the pin on that last one!!!!
“Wills, Kate, can I drag you away from this year’s State Barbecue to show you one of our Affordable Homes? It’s this way…”
“Tra-la la, la la-la. Tra-la la,la la-la. I hear nothing. Tra-la la…”
lol
key pretends to lean to the left..but really still hangs onto the right..
key:..’this is where i throw ministers i have fired/tired of..look..!..there’s anne tolley..!’
Ok first batch of illegals, poor, vulnerable,first home buyers,single mothers dispatched to Nauru……next 500 to be squeezed into container please….move to the back!
Gawd, that’s the problem when I do that right handed salute,,,,,,,my arm locks up…bugger
Ohhhhhhhh look poor people! Call Up the Bennet, Unmuzzle Her…….Unleash the Bennet!
Ok I will distract the press with my miming impression…..Collins, Bennet, stay in the dustbins and don’t come out till the election is over!
Nationals answer to the housing shortage in New Zealand…. One container per family!!!
Yis, I’ve had a good chew of this over the past 10 days, so now watch me chuck it away….
At the new national government policy of stone the poor,,,, Emperor Keys was unsure to give the thumbs up or perhaps the thumbs down? decisions decisions he thought.
Ok,,,,we need moreeeeeeeeeeeee people to get Pete Georges Ego out of that shipping container!
Keys pointed the way to Chinese delegation to buy the whole of the south island,,,after he put their poor into the shipping container.
As Labour had no access to SIS info on their opponents,,,Cunliffe and Goff resorted to hiding in bins to listen to Keys,,and hoped the red topped bin would not give game away.
Bloke at back portacom….Oh gawd fellas…….that fuck wit is back
Another porkie from the PM.
With new govt cutbacks to the New Zealand armed forces,,,,,,Keys proudly showed off the remaining military personnel left,,,,whilst he threw the new stealth hand grenade……..
Fella at back of in portacom…ok,,,I have enough of that poseur….fellas fill those bins with ice cold water and pour it over him..that way he might go away.
Rock, paper, scissors or more cuts?
Animal, vegetable, mineral or Bennet?
Body guard in shades behind keys….”Base code one, he’s shit himself again”
One two three………………….. plie..Pirouettes next week John!
Nothing to see here….move along move..We are just putting the stockpiles on that awkward book into the shipping container……..Now move along.
‘Those feral buggers in Christchurch are forever whinging about their housing problems. Send this lousy container to one of the scum. That will teach them!’
‘Meat is expensive, they say? Let them eat sausage! Look at me! And that will learn them!’
finally losing his cool after repeated questions about his role in ‘Dirty Politics’, key attempted to punch the nearest reporter
John throws another crumb of hope to the adoring masses waiting below with tumbrils and knitting.
Sailing away!
Metal door tries desperately to avoid the shame of being photographed with unhinged corporate raider.
LOL! Brilliant!
Disgraced outgoing PM John Key feeds his poor as mystery man lights his pants on fire.
And in other news: Does anyone know if One News is going to be releasing data from Vote Compass on average voter position relative to party position pre election? If the issue specific stuff they have released so far is anything to go by I think it might help some people wake up, have the confidence to vote on policy and help change the government.
Disclaimer: I know it is unlikely he would ever actually feed his poor.
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/rockbeyondbelief/2013/08/16/youre-supposed-to-actually-toss-the-grenade-away-from-yourself/
You’re Supposed to Actually Toss the Grenade Away from Yourself!
Ensure you are able to throw the grenade far enough away to not get yourself or some unintended target hurt…ya know like a victim whose name will more than likely be made public because there are no such protections in a libel suit.
Key throws bbq left overs to rabbid press!
to try and contain the bad news!
before the door shuts on his corrupt political career!
Just practicing my bowling action to be as good as that thicko, Batsh*t Beckham!
Emperor in New Clothes !
Throws away his barbequed beef because its not cooked in Whale oil!
John key proves to the press he has solved the problem of the homeless and starving in New Zealand by tossing in a piece of half eaten sausage he no longer wants to those people he has moved into a set of old rusty shipping containers rented to them by a family trust partly belonging to his wife and children.
xox
Hey you Guys! ( scummy media types)
” Ready for my Ascension to Planet Key photograph?”
xox
Don’t look back John, you’re being shadowed.
xox
Sausage in the Sea! Are you a total illiterate?
ALIEN ALERT: Key’s devilspawn trident tail revealed on camera for first time.
Hey Paula come and look, Judith’s swamp kauri coffins back from China.
Now I’ll just chuck in some tax cuts. Hey Bill, the policy containers still pretty empty.
I’m throwing bullshit to my followers, they love it. Plenty more to come o ye faithful.
There’s John Key standing at leg slip with his legs wide apart, waiting for a tickle…….
In response to the revelations about the links between the Right Wing Whale Oil blogsite and the National Party, John Key stands at the door of a well known centrist website and tries to throw mud at it.
Yes I think I think I have created a new CARGO CULT out of the NZ voter
They still believe my Trickledown bullshit is real
Smiling puppet obediently serves ruling class masters.