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Imperator Fish: A sacred day

Written By: - Date published: 10:54 am, April 25th, 2014 - 10 comments
Categories: Politics, Satire - Tags: ,

Today is the day when we remember those who fell.

I plan to honour this sacred day by not indulging in political discourse of any kind until 1:00 pm.

At 1:00 pm the shops open and life returns largely to normal. At 1:00 pm I will resume my ceaseless efforts to destroy this monstrous government.

Until then this blog will be a politics-free zone. Until 1:00 pm you can be assured that I won’t be writing a word against the tyrannical and incompetent fools who govern us. If you are looking for commentary this morning on the evils of John Key and his awful government, who would sell us all down the river if there was even the smallest political advantage in it, and whom you absolutely should never vote for, don’t bother looking here.

Similarly, I won’t be making comment on any of the opposition parties. Not the Greens, not New Zealand first, and certainly not my beloved Labour Party for whom everyone should vote. No, I will be respectful and silent this morning about Labour and Labour’s leader, a great man who will lead us out of the darkness and save us from these evil neoliberal vampires.

It’s all about respect, and engaging in petty politics and cheap point-scoring does nobody any good. That’s why there will be no politics until 1:00 pm. Until 1:00 pm I plan to leave that fat bastard John Key well alone.

lprent: Imperator Fish generously allows us to repost some of his (usually satirical) posts. This one was too good to miss.

10 comments on “Imperator Fish: A sacred day”

  1. Jim Nald 1



  2. Clemgeopin 2

    You referred to John Key as a ‘fat bastard’. You are wrong. By 1:00 pm, you might realise that Key is not really fat.

  3. ianmac 3

    Oh no! An awful void has opened up. Calling truce on Key’s evil, hypocritical, unscrupulous, poor-people bashing, running amok bastards and expressing instead gentle support for their humanity, is all too much for me. Bipolar indeed I am.
    It is 12:24 and I cannot wait to express my concern. Drowning, drowning, dro…..

  4. ffloyd 4

    Ha ha. Agree with everything you didn’t just say.

  5. ianmac 5

    Hey! It is past the 1pm post and it is not the last one. So speak up. How do we really really feel about the Government? Huh?

    • mac1 5.1

      I hope to remember when that government fell.

      September 20 2014.

      New Zealand will be a better, brighter place in that future.

      • ianmac 5.1.1

        Pardon the pun but a “National Holiday” September 20 then Mac?

        • mac1

          I’d make it a Feast Day, ianmac- fatted calves, (or tofu sausages for those inclined), home brew, dancing, street parties, the works.

          We’d also sing-
          “Dies gaudii, dies illa,
          Solvet saeclum in favilla,
          Teste David in I-predict.”

  6. Once was Tim 6

    At 1.00pm, Australia and NZ can also return to being complete arseholes to each other as far as things like benefit entitlements and tax obligations; and simply revert to using that ANZAC ‘spirit’ as an excuse; and the current junta can immediately forget all those references to compassion, brother/sisterhood and concern for others, and revert to taking its citizenry for granted and treating the the rabble amongst them like complete arseholes (including to some extent, veterans and their families)
    At 1pm we can forget about that ‘spirit’ as long as we remember the dead and injured.

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