A modest proposal

Written By: - Date published: 8:52 am, August 8th, 2012 - 25 comments
Categories: health, jobs - Tags:

I plan to start a business. I will be a job creator. 50 people will have jobs thanks to me. The whole community will benefit. My business will make poisoned puppy toys. Don’t get me wrong. They won’t kill every puppy who chews on them every time. Only 50% over the puppies’ lives. 30 puppies a year will die per job created. But – jobs! Does it make it better if I’m only selling the poison puppy toys in Australia?

If this was real, not only would I not be allowed to open my factory, I would probably be lynched. But when a foreign multi-national does exactly this with poison smoking sticks for humans, the mayor shows up to to open the factory.

I guess, what I’m trying to say is that’s f*cken nuts.

25 comments on “A modest proposal”

  1. Roy 1

    Well said…but you forgot that puppies are cute, and people dying of lung cancer in late middle-age are not. Also, there are a number of people in the New Zealand population who foam at the mouth at anything to do with animal welfare, but don’t give a damn about, or actively loathe, their fellow human beings.

  2. Tombstone 2

    I’m a smoker and personally I wish they would bloody well ban the things once and for all because that’ll be that – if I can’t buy ’em over the counter I can’t smoke ’em. All this bullshit about people resorting to buying them through a black market is just alarmist nonsense. As though my mum is gonna pop down to the local gang pad to buy her fags – yeah right!

    • bbfloyd 2.1

      She won’t have to… there will be large numbers of home growers pop up.. there are already people growing their own tobacco…. some of them will just step up production…. it’s safer than cannabis, being illegal to sell it without paying tax on it, not to grow it…..so banning it will make it commercially viable…

      No doubt, someone you know will be able to introduce you to “freinds” who can “help”…

  3. Rosie 3

    Roy, poisonous puppies are a good metaphor for the story. Also it is quite possible to be a supporter of animal welfare AND human rights at the same time. The human brain has a capacity to feel compassion and empathy for all species including it’s own.

    If you have met an animal rights activist and found them to be in any way contemptous of their fellow humans, ask yourself why. Maybe witnessing the cruelty that humans impose upon defenceless animals on a daily basis makes them feel distrusting of and disillusioned by humanity.

    And on the subject of people “who don’t give a damn about, or actively loathe, their fellow human beings”. You don’t have to an animal welfare supporter to display these atttributes. Just look at folks like Shonkey and his cronies. They’ve got no excuse for serving up the hate but still they do and many NZers suffer because of it.

    • deuto 3.1

      +1. Well said, Rosie. With you 100% based on many years involved with an animal welfare organisation.

      • Rosie 3.1.1

        Indeed deuto:-) All those I’ve met, and theres been many, who work with animals in a welfare role, including providing sanctury and rehabilitation have been well adjusted easy going people with a sense of humour. I think this approach must be necessary for work that could easily be depressing. Usually they have better skills of observation than most and therefore are often more empathetic to their fellow human animals too.

  4. Tracey 4

    Interesting that the CEO of the company doesn’t smoke. However the media didn’t have the testicles to ask him why not…

    • Lanthanide 4.1

      As if he wouldn’t have a well-rehearsed “reasonable” answer for that question anyway.

      If you look at some of this statements, he repeatedly used the term “adult smokers”, rather than just saying “smokers”.

  5. Colonial Viper 5

    Your business proposal would be more acceptable if your target market was not predominantly white, but full of coloured people.

  6. Jane 6

    If poisoning puppies was a legal business then I guess you could set it up, buts it not.

    Dosnt alcohol cause more deaths, sickness and social issues? Ban that too?

    I’m in favor of getting rid of smoking all together, but until it is either illegal or just fades away over time then arguing over a legal business expanding seems pointless…

    • Colonial Viper 6.1

      I’m in favor of getting rid of smoking all together, but until it is either illegal or just fades away over time then arguing over a legal business expanding seems pointless…

      But don’t you think that its important for society to develop the discussion and to then present our law makers with appropriate pressure and recommendations?

      If poisoning puppies was a legal business then I guess you could set it up, buts it not.

      It’ll be legal in some target markets, so just sell to those.

      • Jane 6.1.1

        Yes, that is what needs to happen, and to some extent it is, the easiest way to reduce smoking is to keep increasing the tax, more and more people will quit as they head towards 30 bucks a pack, not all but many.

        Picking on a legitimate business and comparing it with poisoning puppies when the country is desperate for jobs and exports seems extreme.

        In the markets where puppy poisoning toys are legal it would be possible to setup.

      • Jane 6.1.2

        Yes, that is what needs to happen, and to some extent it is, the easiest way to reduce smoking is to keep increasing the tax, more and more people will quit as they head towards 30 bucks a pack, not all but many.

        Picking on a legitimate business and comparing it with poisoning puppies when the country is desperate for jobs and exports seems extreme.

        • Rosie 6.1.2.1

          Hi Jane.
          “Picking on a legitimate business and comparing it with poisoning puppies when the country is desparate for jobs and exports seems extreme”.
          I’m unemployed and desparate for work but theres no way I’d go and work at a fag factory as I’d then be in some way responsible for the illness and death of others. Believe me I’ve done unpleasant work out of desparation before but not work that harms others. Jobs at any cost, ie, setting up a cancer stick factory and creating jobs that way, isn’t a smart approach to reducing unemployment.

          • Draco T Bastard 6.1.2.1.1

            +1

            Of course, this government is setting it up so that people who are unemployed will be so desperate that they’ll work anywhere for as little as the employer can get away with paying.

  7. Tracey 7

    The only way to make something currently legal, illegal is to talk about it and raise the issue. Not discussing stuff is usually the slowest way to create a law change.

    I would like to see alcohol and cigarette smoking put on the same level as marajuana. If we’re going to be hypocrites let’s do it properly and tax the shit.

  8. Tracey 8

    Prostitution is no longer illegal, will a mayor attend a brothel opening on the grounds it provides employment opportunities for young unemployed women????

  9. McFlock 9

    Why would your dog-endangering chew toy be illegal? I mean, if it said “healthy life-extending chew toy” it would be a lie and consumer guarantees come into play. But if it had half the pack devoted to pictures of dead dogs, what law would it break?
             
     

  10. Tracey 10

    Animal Welfare Act and the Code for Dogs (2010) which includes 3.1.2 Risky foods and objects, and 7.9 Owners and persons in charge of dogs must take all practical steps to ensure that
    dogs are not exposed to poisons and harmful substances.

    • McFlock 10.1

      Interesting. But a single exposure to the puppy toy will not cause suffering or endanger the life of the puppy at any appreciable level, so wouldn’t count as a “poison” or “ill treatment” at any stretch of the imagination.   
               
      60 toys a day for an extended period of years, on the other hand, will.
                 
      One might argue where that acceptable dividing line is, or even put it in a code of conduct, but the point is that dogs don’t make decisions for themselves. We do.
           
      Oh, and the other difference is that we are obliged to give dogs a lethal injection when they finally get an incurable and painful condition.

    • Roy 10.2

      Obviously not enforced or moronic owners who let their dogs wander in areas where 1080 has been dropped would be prosecuted for animal cruelty. Instead they get portrayed as victims on TV.

      • Moreen 10.2.1

        No Roy the dog is the victim. I have a nice local farmer who sprays 24D directly onto me and my house and my tank water and fruit trees (which explains why after 10 years they have not fruited) he did this while I was at work and did not know he did this till I was made redundent 3 years ago and he is allowed to as it is a discretionary activity and just in case you wonder why I would buy a home near an agrichemical air strip, the answer is easy, they are not required to meet any health or safety standards or apply for resource consent, and so they sell off the land and do not disclose the airfield hey presto they have their quick buck and the goverment feels they are the back bone of New Zealand economy and they can do no wrong. They have been legally killing Nzers since 1950’s, just like tobacco company’s, just not as regulated

  11. Ray Wallace introducing Guy McPherson a few weeks ago in Petone

    Clearly for Ray to say this ……….

    This morning Lower Hutt mayor Ray Wallace switched on a German-made Protos 80IR cigarette making machine – capable of churning out 8000 cigarettes a minute – marking the official opening of Imperial’s $45 million factory upgrade.

    Mr Wallace said since opening more than 80 years ago, the factory had provided ”thousands” of jobs and was now one of the Lower Hutt’s leading employers and ratepayers.

    ”Unlike other industry’s that have gone by the wayside, this one hasn’t. The fact that they have stayed here in Petone rather than go to Asia is a positive thing,” Wallace said.

    ”This level of expansion and investment is very rare in these economic times and I think we have to grab every opportunity.”

    Wallace, who has never tried smoking, said he respected Mrs Turia’s views, but saw smoking as a personal choice and he would support legitimate businesses who invested in the city.

    ”I’m here today as mayor to support one of our largest ratepayers, one of our biggest employers in this city, because that’s what the mayor needs to do along with the council, we need to be seen to be supporting the rate payers and our business that put substantial  investment in this city.
    ———————————————————————————

    He wasn’t listening, he also didn’t listen when he attended the first Peak Oil talk given in New Zealand back in 2000, just another useless so called leader.

  12. AmaKiwi 12

    Public versus private values. Should there be a difference?

    If someone knocked on my door and said she/he wanted to brainwash my children to buy their brand of fast food, I would throw them off the property (if I hadn’t decked them first). Same for someone selling cigarettes or booze.

    Yet we allow these low-life scum bags into our homes constantly via television. Why? Some b.s. called the free market.

    I tried to teach my children if they advertise it, you don’ need it. Because if you really need it, they don’t have to spend money convincing you to buy it.

    One of the benefits of another Great Depression will be to help society focus on what is essential, what is trivial, and what is harmful. Great Depression 2 is already undeway. By the time it hits bottom let’s hope the advertising industry is ruined.

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    For most of the time I was a British MP, my party was out of government – these were the Thatcher years, when it was hard for anyone else to get a look-in. As a front-bencher and shadow minister, I became familiar with the strategies required in a parliamentary democracy ...
    Bryan GouldBy Bryan Gould
    1 week ago
  • More expert comments on the Canadian fluoride-IQ paper
    The Green et al (2019) fluoride/IQ is certainly controversial – as would be expected from its subject (see If at first you don’t succeed . . . statistical manipulation might help and Politics of science – making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear). Anti-fluoride campaigners have been actively promoting it ...
    1 week ago
  • The return to guerrilla war in Colombia
    by Gearóid Ó Loingsigh On August 29th a video in which veteran FARC (Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia) commander Iván Márquez announced that they had taken up arms again was released. There was no delay in the reaction to it, from longtime Liberal Party figure and former president Uribe, for ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    1 week ago
  • Air New Zealand identifies this enormous plot of unused land as possible second airport site
    Air New Zealand couldn’t believe its luck that this seemingly ideal piece of real estate had so far gone entirely unnoticed. Air New Zealand’s search for a site to build a second Auckland Airport may have made a breakthrough this afternoon, after employees scanning Google satellite imagery spotted a huge, ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    2 weeks ago
  • Redline on the Labour Party
    No-one on the anti-capitalist left in this country today puts forward a case that Labour is on the side of the working class.  There are certainly people who call themselves ‘socialist’ who do, but they are essentially liberals with vested interests in Labourism – often for career reasons. Nevertheless, there ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    2 weeks ago
  • New Fisk
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Labour’s failure
    When National was in government and fucking over the poor for the benefit of the rich, foodbanks were a growth industry. And now Labour is in charge, nothing has changed: A huge demand for emergency food parcels means the Auckland City Mission is struggling to prepare for the impending arrival ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Ardern attempts to vaccinate Clarke Gayford live on television to prove that it’s safe
    Gayford, pictured here on The Project, before things got wildly out of control. A bold public relations move by the Government to encourage parents to vaccinate their children has gone horribly wrong. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern appeared on tonight’s episode of Three’s The Project, where the plan was for her ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    2 weeks ago
  • Has Mr. Whippy gone too far by parking on our front lawns?
    Mr. Whippy’s business model has driven it down a dark road of intimidation. Residents in major centres around the country are becoming disgruntled by the increasingly aggressive actions of purported ice cream company Mr. Whippy, who have taken to parking on people’s front lawns and doorsteps in a desperate attempt ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    2 weeks ago
  • Cleaning up the water
    Today the government released its Action Plan for Healthy Waterways, aimed at cleaning up our lakes and rivers. Its actually quite good. There will be protection for wetlands, better standards for swimming spots, a requirement for continuous improvement, and better standards for wastewater and stormwater. But most importantly, there's a ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Fronting up
    Today I appeared before the Environment Committee to give an oral submission on the Zero Carbon Bill. Over 1,500 people have asked to appear in person, so they've divided into subcommittees and are off touring the country, giving people a five minute slot each. The other submitters were a mixed ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Politics of science – making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear
    Anti-fluoride activists have some wealthy backers – they are erecting billboards misrepresenting the Canadian study on many New Zealand cities – and local authorities are ordering their removal because of their scaremongering. Many New Zealanders ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Democracy – I Don’t Think So
    So, those who “know best” have again done their worst. While constantly claiming to be the guardians of democracy and the constitution, and respecters of the 2016 referendum result, diehard Remainers (who have never brought themselves to believe that their advice could have been rejected) have striven might and main ...
    Bryan GouldBy Bryan Gould
    2 weeks ago
  • Government says it will now build just one really nice home
    Following publication of this article, the Ministry has requested it to be noted that this supplied image is not necessarily representative of what the final house will look like, and it “probably won’t be that nice.” As part of today’s long-anticipated reset of the Government’s flagship KiwiBuild policy, Housing Minister ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    2 weeks ago
  • Imperialism and your cup of coffee
    Over the next week or two we will be running three synopses of parts of the opening chapter of John Smith’s Imperialism in the 21st Century (New York, Monthly Review Press, 2016).  The synopsis and commentary below is written by Phil Duncan. Marx began Capital not with a sweeping historical ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    2 weeks ago
  • Still juking the stats
    The State Services Commission and Ombudsman have released another batch of OIA statistics, covering the last six months. Request volumes are up, and the core public service is generally handling them within the legal timeframe, though this may be because they've learned to extend rather than just ignore things. And ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Hard News: Time for a New Deal: 25 years on
    In 1994, I was editing an ambitious street mag called Planet, from a fabled office at at 309 Karangahape Road. The thirteenth issue of the magazine was published in the winter of that year and its cover embodied a particularly ambitious goal: the end of cannabis prohibition.I wanted to do ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Not impressed
    KiwiBuild was one of the Ardern government's core policies. The government would end the housing crisis and make housing affordable again by building 100,000 new homes. Of course, it didn't work out like that: targets weren't met, the houses they did build were in the wrong place, and the whole ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Solar beats coal
    As the climate crisis escalates, it is now obvious that we need to radically decarbonise our economy. The good news is that its looking easy and profitable for the energy sector. Wind is already cheaper than fossil fuels, and now solar is too:The levellised cost of solar PV has fallen ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago

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