A modest proposal

Written By: - Date published: 8:52 am, August 8th, 2012 - 25 comments
Categories: health, jobs - Tags:

I plan to start a business. I will be a job creator. 50 people will have jobs thanks to me. The whole community will benefit. My business will make poisoned puppy toys. Don’t get me wrong. They won’t kill every puppy who chews on them every time. Only 50% over the puppies’ lives. 30 puppies a year will die per job created. But – jobs! Does it make it better if I’m only selling the poison puppy toys in Australia?

If this was real, not only would I not be allowed to open my factory, I would probably be lynched. But when a foreign multi-national does exactly this with poison smoking sticks for humans, the mayor shows up to to open the factory.

I guess, what I’m trying to say is that’s f*cken nuts.

25 comments on “A modest proposal ”

  1. Roy 1

    Well said…but you forgot that puppies are cute, and people dying of lung cancer in late middle-age are not. Also, there are a number of people in the New Zealand population who foam at the mouth at anything to do with animal welfare, but don’t give a damn about, or actively loathe, their fellow human beings.

  2. Tombstone 2

    I’m a smoker and personally I wish they would bloody well ban the things once and for all because that’ll be that – if I can’t buy ’em over the counter I can’t smoke ’em. All this bullshit about people resorting to buying them through a black market is just alarmist nonsense. As though my mum is gonna pop down to the local gang pad to buy her fags – yeah right!

    • bbfloyd 2.1

      She won’t have to… there will be large numbers of home growers pop up.. there are already people growing their own tobacco…. some of them will just step up production…. it’s safer than cannabis, being illegal to sell it without paying tax on it, not to grow it…..so banning it will make it commercially viable…

      No doubt, someone you know will be able to introduce you to “freinds” who can “help”…

  3. Rosie 3

    Roy, poisonous puppies are a good metaphor for the story. Also it is quite possible to be a supporter of animal welfare AND human rights at the same time. The human brain has a capacity to feel compassion and empathy for all species including it’s own.

    If you have met an animal rights activist and found them to be in any way contemptous of their fellow humans, ask yourself why. Maybe witnessing the cruelty that humans impose upon defenceless animals on a daily basis makes them feel distrusting of and disillusioned by humanity.

    And on the subject of people “who don’t give a damn about, or actively loathe, their fellow human beings”. You don’t have to an animal welfare supporter to display these atttributes. Just look at folks like Shonkey and his cronies. They’ve got no excuse for serving up the hate but still they do and many NZers suffer because of it.

    • deuto 3.1

      +1. Well said, Rosie. With you 100% based on many years involved with an animal welfare organisation.

      • Rosie 3.1.1

        Indeed deuto:-) All those I’ve met, and theres been many, who work with animals in a welfare role, including providing sanctury and rehabilitation have been well adjusted easy going people with a sense of humour. I think this approach must be necessary for work that could easily be depressing. Usually they have better skills of observation than most and therefore are often more empathetic to their fellow human animals too.

  4. Tracey 4

    Interesting that the CEO of the company doesn’t smoke. However the media didn’t have the testicles to ask him why not…

    • Lanthanide 4.1

      As if he wouldn’t have a well-rehearsed “reasonable” answer for that question anyway.

      If you look at some of this statements, he repeatedly used the term “adult smokers”, rather than just saying “smokers”.

  5. Colonial Viper 5

    Your business proposal would be more acceptable if your target market was not predominantly white, but full of coloured people.

  6. Jane 6

    If poisoning puppies was a legal business then I guess you could set it up, buts it not.

    Dosnt alcohol cause more deaths, sickness and social issues? Ban that too?

    I’m in favor of getting rid of smoking all together, but until it is either illegal or just fades away over time then arguing over a legal business expanding seems pointless…

    • Colonial Viper 6.1

      I’m in favor of getting rid of smoking all together, but until it is either illegal or just fades away over time then arguing over a legal business expanding seems pointless…

      But don’t you think that its important for society to develop the discussion and to then present our law makers with appropriate pressure and recommendations?

      If poisoning puppies was a legal business then I guess you could set it up, buts it not.

      It’ll be legal in some target markets, so just sell to those.

      • Jane 6.1.1

        Yes, that is what needs to happen, and to some extent it is, the easiest way to reduce smoking is to keep increasing the tax, more and more people will quit as they head towards 30 bucks a pack, not all but many.

        Picking on a legitimate business and comparing it with poisoning puppies when the country is desperate for jobs and exports seems extreme.

        In the markets where puppy poisoning toys are legal it would be possible to setup.

      • Jane 6.1.2

        Yes, that is what needs to happen, and to some extent it is, the easiest way to reduce smoking is to keep increasing the tax, more and more people will quit as they head towards 30 bucks a pack, not all but many.

        Picking on a legitimate business and comparing it with poisoning puppies when the country is desperate for jobs and exports seems extreme.

        • Rosie 6.1.2.1

          Hi Jane.
          “Picking on a legitimate business and comparing it with poisoning puppies when the country is desparate for jobs and exports seems extreme”.
          I’m unemployed and desparate for work but theres no way I’d go and work at a fag factory as I’d then be in some way responsible for the illness and death of others. Believe me I’ve done unpleasant work out of desparation before but not work that harms others. Jobs at any cost, ie, setting up a cancer stick factory and creating jobs that way, isn’t a smart approach to reducing unemployment.

          • Draco T Bastard 6.1.2.1.1

            +1

            Of course, this government is setting it up so that people who are unemployed will be so desperate that they’ll work anywhere for as little as the employer can get away with paying.

  7. Tracey 7

    The only way to make something currently legal, illegal is to talk about it and raise the issue. Not discussing stuff is usually the slowest way to create a law change.

    I would like to see alcohol and cigarette smoking put on the same level as marajuana. If we’re going to be hypocrites let’s do it properly and tax the shit.

  8. Tracey 8

    Prostitution is no longer illegal, will a mayor attend a brothel opening on the grounds it provides employment opportunities for young unemployed women????

  9. McFlock 9

    Why would your dog-endangering chew toy be illegal? I mean, if it said “healthy life-extending chew toy” it would be a lie and consumer guarantees come into play. But if it had half the pack devoted to pictures of dead dogs, what law would it break?
             
     

  10. Tracey 10

    Animal Welfare Act and the Code for Dogs (2010) which includes 3.1.2 Risky foods and objects, and 7.9 Owners and persons in charge of dogs must take all practical steps to ensure that
    dogs are not exposed to poisons and harmful substances.

    • McFlock 10.1

      Interesting. But a single exposure to the puppy toy will not cause suffering or endanger the life of the puppy at any appreciable level, so wouldn’t count as a “poison” or “ill treatment” at any stretch of the imagination.   
               
      60 toys a day for an extended period of years, on the other hand, will.
                 
      One might argue where that acceptable dividing line is, or even put it in a code of conduct, but the point is that dogs don’t make decisions for themselves. We do.
           
      Oh, and the other difference is that we are obliged to give dogs a lethal injection when they finally get an incurable and painful condition.

    • Roy 10.2

      Obviously not enforced or moronic owners who let their dogs wander in areas where 1080 has been dropped would be prosecuted for animal cruelty. Instead they get portrayed as victims on TV.

      • Moreen 10.2.1

        No Roy the dog is the victim. I have a nice local farmer who sprays 24D directly onto me and my house and my tank water and fruit trees (which explains why after 10 years they have not fruited) he did this while I was at work and did not know he did this till I was made redundent 3 years ago and he is allowed to as it is a discretionary activity and just in case you wonder why I would buy a home near an agrichemical air strip, the answer is easy, they are not required to meet any health or safety standards or apply for resource consent, and so they sell off the land and do not disclose the airfield hey presto they have their quick buck and the goverment feels they are the back bone of New Zealand economy and they can do no wrong. They have been legally killing Nzers since 1950’s, just like tobacco company’s, just not as regulated

  11. Ray Wallace introducing Guy McPherson a few weeks ago in Petone
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZCNlXPlwmw&feature=plcp

    Clearly for Ray to say this ……….

    This morning Lower Hutt mayor Ray Wallace switched on a German-made Protos 80IR cigarette making machine – capable of churning out 8000 cigarettes a minute – marking the official opening of Imperial’s $45 million factory upgrade.

    Mr Wallace said since opening more than 80 years ago, the factory had provided ”thousands” of jobs and was now one of the Lower Hutt’s leading employers and ratepayers.

    ”Unlike other industry’s that have gone by the wayside, this one hasn’t. The fact that they have stayed here in Petone rather than go to Asia is a positive thing,” Wallace said.

    ”This level of expansion and investment is very rare in these economic times and I think we have to grab every opportunity.”

    Wallace, who has never tried smoking, said he respected Mrs Turia’s views, but saw smoking as a personal choice and he would support legitimate businesses who invested in the city.

    ”I’m here today as mayor to support one of our largest ratepayers, one of our biggest employers in this city, because that’s what the mayor needs to do along with the council, we need to be seen to be supporting the rate payers and our business that put substantial  investment in this city.
    ———————————————————————————

    He wasn’t listening, he also didn’t listen when he attended the first Peak Oil talk given in New Zealand back in 2000, just another useless so called leader.

  12. AmaKiwi 12

    Public versus private values. Should there be a difference?

    If someone knocked on my door and said she/he wanted to brainwash my children to buy their brand of fast food, I would throw them off the property (if I hadn’t decked them first). Same for someone selling cigarettes or booze.

    Yet we allow these low-life scum bags into our homes constantly via television. Why? Some b.s. called the free market.

    I tried to teach my children if they advertise it, you don’ need it. Because if you really need it, they don’t have to spend money convincing you to buy it.

    One of the benefits of another Great Depression will be to help society focus on what is essential, what is trivial, and what is harmful. Great Depression 2 is already undeway. By the time it hits bottom let’s hope the advertising industry is ruined.

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    Point of OrderBy poonzteam5443
    5 days ago
  • Real News vs Fake News.
    We all know something’s not right with our elections. The spread of misinformation, people being targeted with soundbites and emotional triggers that ignore the facts, even the truth, and influence their votes.The use of technology to produce deep fakes. How can you tell if something is real or not? Can ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
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  • Another way to roll
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    5 days ago
  • Cutting the Public Service
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  • Luxon’s demoted ministers might take comfort from the British politician who bounced back after th...
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    Point of OrderBy Bob Edlin
    5 days ago
  • This is how I roll over
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    5 days ago
  • The Waitangi Tribunal is not “a roving Commission”…
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    Point of OrderBy poonzteam5443
    6 days ago
  • Is Oranga Tamariki guilty of neglect?
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    Point of OrderBy Bob Edlin
    6 days ago
  • Three Strikes saw lower reoffending
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    Point of OrderBy poonzteam5443
    6 days ago
  • Luxon’s ruthless show of strength is perfect for our angry era
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    Point of OrderBy poonzteam5443
    6 days ago
  • 'Lacks attention to detail and is creating double-standards.'
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    6 days ago
  • One Night Only!
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    6 days ago
  • What did Melissa Lee do?
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    6 days ago
  • Skeptical Science New Research for Week #17 2024
    Open access notables Ice acceleration and rotation in the Greenland Ice Sheet interior in recent decades, Løkkegaard et al., Communications Earth & Environment: In the past two decades, mass loss from the Greenland ice sheet has accelerated, partly due to the speedup of glaciers. However, uncertainty in speed derived from satellite products ...
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  • Maori Party (with “disgust”) draws attention to Chhour’s race after the High Court rules on Wa...
    Buzz from the Beehive A statement from Children’s Minister Karen Chhour – yet to be posted on the Government’s official website – arrived in Point of Order’s email in-tray last night. It welcomes the High Court ruling on whether the Waitangi Tribunal can demand she appear before it. It does ...
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    6 days ago
  • Who’s Going Up The Media Mountain?
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    7 days ago
  • “That's how I roll”
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    7 days ago
  • Aotearoa: a live lab for failed Right-wing socio-economic zombie experiments once more…
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    1 week ago
  • Water is at the heart of farmers’ struggle to survive in Benin
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  • At a time of media turmoil, Melissa had nothing to proclaim as Minister – and now she has been dem...
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    Point of OrderBy Bob Edlin
    1 week ago

  • Minister acknowledges passing of Sir Robert Martin (KNZM)
    New Zealand lost a true legend when internationally renowned disability advocate Sir Robert Martin (KNZM) passed away at his home in Whanganui last night, Disabilities Issues Minister Louise Upston says. “Our Government’s thoughts are with his wife Lynda, family and community, those he has worked with, the disability community in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 hours ago
  • Speech to New Zealand Institute of International Affairs, Parliament – Annual Lecture: Challenges ...
    Good evening –   Before discussing the challenges and opportunities facing New Zealand’s foreign policy, we’d like to first acknowledge the New Zealand Institute of International Affairs. You have contributed to debates about New Zealand foreign policy over a long period of time, and we thank you for hosting us.  ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 hours ago
  • Accelerating airport security lines
    From today, passengers travelling internationally from Auckland Airport will be able to keep laptops and liquids in their carry-on bags for security screening thanks to new technology, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. “Creating a more efficient and seamless travel experience is important for holidaymakers and businesses, enabling faster movement through ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    9 hours ago
  • Community hui to talk about kina barrens
    People with an interest in the health of Northland’s marine ecosystems are invited to a public meeting to discuss how to deal with kina barrens, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. Mr Jones will lead the discussion, which will take place on Friday, 10 May, at Awanui Hotel in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    15 hours ago
  • Kiwi exporters win as NZ-EU FTA enters into force
    Kiwi exporters are $100 million better off today with the NZ EU FTA entering into force says Trade Minister Todd McClay. “This is all part of our plan to grow the economy. New Zealand's prosperity depends on international trade, making up 60 per cent of the country’s total economic activity. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    15 hours ago
  • Mining resurgence a welcome sign
    There are heartening signs that the extractive sector is once again becoming an attractive prospect for investors and a source of economic prosperity for New Zealand, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. “The beginnings of a resurgence in extractive industries are apparent in media reports of the sector in the past ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    17 hours ago
  • Ō-Rākau Remembrance Bill passes first reading
    The return of the historic Ō-Rākau battle site to the descendants of those who fought there moved one step closer today with the first reading of Te Pire mō Ō-Rākau, Te Pae o Maumahara / The Ō-Rākau Remembrance Bill. The Bill will entrust the 9.7-hectare battle site, five kilometres west ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Government to boost public EV charging network
    Energy Minister Simeon Brown has announced 25 new high-speed EV charging hubs along key routes between major urban centres and outlined the Government’s plan to supercharge New Zealand’s EV infrastructure.  The hubs will each have several chargers and be capable of charging at least four – and up to 10 ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Residential Property Managers Bill to not progress
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Independent review into disability support services
    The Government has announced an independent review into the disability support system funded by the Ministry of Disabled People – Whaikaha. Disability Issues Minister Louise Upston says the review will look at what can be done to strengthen the long-term sustainability of Disability Support Services to provide disabled people and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Justice Minister updates UN on law & order plan
    Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith has attended the Universal Periodic Review in Geneva and outlined the Government’s plan to restore law and order. “Speaking to the United Nations Human Rights Council provided us with an opportunity to present New Zealand’s human rights progress, priorities, and challenges, while responding to issues and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Ending emergency housing motels in Rotorua
    The Government and Rotorua Lakes Council are committed to working closely together to end the use of contracted emergency housing motels in Rotorua. Associate Minister of Housing (Social Housing) Tama Potaka says the Government remains committed to ending the long-term use of contracted emergency housing motels in Rotorua by the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Trade Minister travels to Riyadh, OECD, and Dubai
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Education priorities focused on lifting achievement
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    2 days ago
  • NZTA App first step towards digital driver licence
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    2 days ago
  • Supporting whānau out of emergency housing
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Tribute to Dave O'Sullivan
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Speech – Eid al-Fitr
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Government saves access to medicines
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    3 days ago
  • Pharmac Chair appointed
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    4 days ago
  • Taking action on Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder
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    5 days ago
  • New sports complex opens in Kaikohe
    Regional Development Minister Shane Jones today attended the official opening of Kaikohe’s new $14.7 million sports complex. “The completion of the Kaikohe Multi Sports Complex is a fantastic achievement for the Far North,” Mr Jones says. “This facility not only fulfils a long-held dream for local athletes, but also creates ...
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    5 days ago
  • Diplomacy needed more than ever
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters’ engagements in Türkiye this week underlined the importance of diplomacy to meet growing global challenges.    “Returning to the Gallipoli Peninsula to represent New Zealand at Anzac commemorations was a sombre reminder of the critical importance of diplomacy for de-escalating conflicts and easing tensions,” Mr Peters ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Anzac Commemorative Address, Buttes New British Cemetery Belgium
    Ambassador Millar, Burgemeester, Vandepitte, Excellencies, military representatives, distinguished guests, ladies and gentlemen – good morning and welcome to this sacred Anzac Day dawn service.  It is an honour to be here on behalf of the Government and people of New Zealand at Buttes New British Cemetery, Polygon Wood – a deeply ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Anzac Commemorative Address – NZ National Service, Chunuk Bair
    Distinguished guests -   It is an honour to return once again to this site which, as the resting place for so many of our war-dead, has become a sacred place for generations of New Zealanders.   Our presence here and at the other special spaces of Gallipoli is made ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Anzac Commemorative Address – Dawn Service, Gallipoli, Türkiye
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    6 days ago
  • PM announces changes to portfolios
    Paul Goldsmith will take on responsibility for the Media and Communications portfolio, while Louise Upston will pick up the Disability Issues portfolio, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon announced today. “Our Government is relentlessly focused on getting New Zealand back on track. As issues change in prominence, I plan to adjust Ministerial ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New catch limits for unique fishery areas
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    1 week ago
  • Minister welcomes hydrogen milestone
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    1 week ago
  • Urgent changes to system through first RMA Amendment Bill
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    1 week ago
  • Overseas decommissioning models considered
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    1 week ago
  • Release of North Island Severe Weather Event Inquiry
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    1 week ago
  • Justice Minister to attend Human Rights Council
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    1 week ago
  • Patterson reopens world’s largest wool scouring facility
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    1 week ago
  • Speech to the Southland Otago Regional Engineering Collective Summit, 18 April 2024
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    1 week ago
  • Government to introduce revised Three Strikes law
    The Government is delivering on its commitment to bring back the Three Strikes legislation, Associate Justice Minister Nicole McKee announced today. “Our Government is committed to restoring law and order and enforcing appropriate consequences on criminals. We are making it clear that repeat serious violent or sexual offending is not ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New diplomatic appointments
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters has today announced four new diplomatic appointments for New Zealand’s overseas missions.   “Our diplomats have a vital role in maintaining and protecting New Zealand’s interests around the world,” Mr Peters says.    “I am pleased to announce the appointment of these senior diplomats from the ...
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    1 week ago
  • Humanitarian support for Ethiopia and Somalia
    New Zealand is contributing NZ$7 million to support communities affected by severe food insecurity and other urgent humanitarian needs in Ethiopia and Somalia, Foreign Minister Rt Hon Winston Peters announced today.   “Over 21 million people are in need of humanitarian assistance across Ethiopia, with a further 6.9 million people ...
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    1 week ago
  • Arts Minister congratulates Mataaho Collective
    Minister for Arts, Culture and Heritage Paul Goldsmith is congratulating Mataaho Collective for winning the Golden Lion for best participant in the main exhibition at the Venice Biennale. "Congratulations to the Mataaho Collective for winning one of the world's most prestigious art prizes at the Venice Biennale.  “It is good ...
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    1 week ago
  • Supporting better financial outcomes for Kiwis
    The Government is reforming financial services to improve access to home loans and other lending, and strengthen customer protections, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly and Housing Minister Chris Bishop announced today. “Our coalition Government is committed to rebuilding the economy and making life simpler by cutting red tape. We are ...
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    2 weeks ago

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