Blanket Man to make bid for ACT leadership

Written By: - Date published: 7:09 am, April 28th, 2011 - 15 comments
Categories: act, Satire - Tags: , , ,

Ben ‘Blanket Man’ Hana has thrown his loin cloth into the contest for ACT’s leadership. Despite not having any political experience, Blanket Man says he is the man for the job due to his firm commitment to laissez-faire economics, his excellent face recognition, and the virtue that he is not a tired, old, has-been, racist arsehole.

Rodney Hide refused to comment on Hana’s challenge until he joins the party, although an ‘ACToids for Blanket Man‘ Facebook page is already attracting supporters and it is understood that Hana has the backing of key rightwing donors including Alan Gibbs.

Hilary Calvert is understood to be strongly behind Hana’s surprise bid, professing a long-running fondness for blankets and eccentrics with substance abuse problems, which she says stems from her days at Otago Uni.

Pundits were quick to laud Hana as an exciting new leader who makes Don Brash look like warmed-up corned beef.

15 comments on “Blanket Man to make bid for ACT leadership ”

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  1. lprent 1
    28 April 2011 at 7:39 am

    It makes as much sense as anything else around Act. 🙂

  2. the sprout 2
    28 April 2011 at 7:40 am

    Unlike Brash, Blanket Man may actually be a member of the party he seeks to lead.

  3. logie97 3
    28 April 2011 at 7:53 am

    Is that the rattle of Nicky Hager’s fingers on the keyboard we can hear? “Hollowmen – The Sequel” anyone… presumably the mole is still around in the Beehive?

    (And isn’t it amazing how ACT politicians, whose whole presence in parliament has been on Hide’s hide, are now shafting him…)

  4. infused 4
    28 April 2011 at 8:09 am

    Remove Act and replace with Labour and you lot might get some traction

    • Tigger 4.1
      28 April 2011 at 8:58 am

      Look, if you can’t come up with a joke even a millionth as good as the post then save the keystrokes.

      • Bored 4.1.1
        28 April 2011 at 9:24 am

        Too right, only thing more farcical than the story is the reality…..tata Wodders, consigned to the corned beef pot of history.

    • ianmac 4.2
      28 April 2011 at 9:39 am

      Frankly infused, you need to get a frank look at your humour ribs.

      • McFlock 4.2.1
        28 April 2011 at 4:56 pm

        The “I know you are but what am I” tactic is going to be Brash’s main campaign tool for november…

  5. Ready made 5
    28 April 2011 at 5:31 pm

    I’ve never had an ounce of pity for R Hide; actually I rather detest the little bugger. Until this week, when I started actually feeling sorry for the guy. I wish nothing but ill for the arrogant Brash.

  6. Samuel Hill 6
    28 April 2011 at 5:39 pm

    Blanket Man transcends politics. As a fellow Tokoroan now living in Wellington I love how he always gives me “the ups” every time I see him, no matter how stoned he is 🙂 Great guy.

    • Jenny 6.1
      28 April 2011 at 7:09 pm

      A fellow Tokoroan? Like me? I never knew that. Hi Samuel Hill! Kia ora Blanket Man!

  7. Samuel Hill 7
    28 April 2011 at 8:05 pm

    He was Blanket Man in Tok too! Back when he was a lot fitter, he used to have this Ja Rastafari blanket and he would sleep outside the Court House and down the creek!

  8. Zarchoff 8
    28 April 2011 at 11:39 pm

    I hear he had thought about being the Labour leader but decided that sitting naked on the corner of Courtenay Place and Tory Street, stoned out of his mind, talking to himself was less embarrassing.