Caption competition
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2:39 pm, May 11th, 2012 - 53 comments
Categories: caption contest, john key -
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53 comments on “Caption competition ”
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A new Child Protection Investigation Unit is being established to ensure the safety and wellbeing of children in care, Minister for Children Karen Chhour says. “The report released by the Royal Commission into abuse in state care shows us all the risk of not acting immediately when there are serious ...8 hours ago - Speech at United States Business Summit 2024
Ka nui te mihi kia koutou. Ka mihi ki te mana whenua ko Ngāti Whātua Ōrākei. Kia ora and good morning everyone. Thank you Fran and Simon for inviting me here today, and importantly your leadership of this forum over several years now. I want to acknowledge David Gehrenbeck, Deputy ...8 hours ago
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- District Court Judge appointed
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- Foreign Minister to visit Europe
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- First arrests made under gang patch ban
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- Better support for victims of sexual violence
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- Government moving forward with Regional Deals
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- MSA pilot participant update
One of the ten young men selected to participate in the Military-Style Academy Pilot has allegedly reoffended. Children’s Minister Karen Chhour is disappointed but says it would be naïve to think that none of these young men would reoffend. “I’m saddened that this young person has not taken this opportunity ...1 day ago
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Delivered at Auckland Trade and Economic Policy School Good morning and thank you Deputy Vice Chancellor Lithander for your warm welcome and for inviting me to open Auckland Trade and Economic Policy School today. A Special thanks to the University of Auckland, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade and ...1 day ago
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Associate Education Minister David Seymour says that school attendance is continuing to rise. In Term 3 of 2024 51.3 per cent of students attended school regularly, an increase of 5.3 percentage points from 46 per cent in Term 3 of 2023. “This Government has prioritised student attendance and it is ...1 day ago
- Improving the lives of young New Zealanders
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- Government continues work to reinstate livestock exports by sea
The Government is reinstating the trade of livestock exports by sea while ensuring the highest standards of animal welfare, says Associate Minister of Agriculture Andrew Hoggard.“The Government will introduce legislation changes to reinstate the trade, enhance oversight, and strengthen requirements for exporters to identify risks and manage the welfare of ...2 days ago
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Tēnā koutou katoa – it is a pleasure to be here today. I would like to begin by acknowledging the important leadership role you all play in ensuring a quality health system New Zealanders can trust. There is enormous clinical expertise in this room covering a wide range of disciplines. ...2 days ago
- New Zealand’s COP29 National Statement
Tēnā koutou katoa. Mr President, Excellencies, Delegates. New Zealand, and all nations represented here today, are already dealing with the impacts of climate change. Our households, businesses, and economies are bearing the costs of its effects. The choices we make now will shape the severity of these impacts for generations ...3 days ago
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- New Zealand supporting loss and damage fund
Climate Change Minister Simon Watts announced New Zealand will contribute NZ$10 million to the new Fund for Responding to Loss and Damage while at the annual United Nations Climate Change Conference (COP29) in Baku, Azerbaijan. “New Zealand is joining the global effort to address the significant challenge of responding to ...3 days ago
- Gang crackdown begins at stroke of midnight
The free ride for gangs is over when the clock strikes midnight tonight, with tough new laws officially coming into effect, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith and Police Minister Mark Mitchell say. “Gang patches will no longer be able to be worn in public. To earn the right to wear a ...3 days ago
- LGFA increases borrowing capacity to support high growth councils
The Government is welcoming the decision by the Local Government Funding Agency to increase access to financing tools for fast growing councils to support greater investment in critical infrastructure, Local Government Minister Simeon Brown says.“Communities across the country are facing an infrastructure deficit and significant population growth is projected in ...3 days ago
- Temporary Traffic Management costs revealed
The Government has revealed that over the past three years, the New Zealand Transport Agency (NZTA) has spent an eyewatering $786 million of taxpayers’ money on road cones and temporary traffic management (TTM), Transport Minister Simeon Brown says.“When I became Minister, I was surprised to learn that that NZTA did ...3 days ago
- Jurisdiction of Disputes Tribunal to double
Legislation that will double the financial jurisdiction of the Disputes Tribunal from $30,000 to $60,000 has passed first reading in Parliament today, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith. “We need to improve court timeliness and access to justice so that Kiwis and get on with their lives. Court delays affect everyone, the ...3 days ago
- Protecting New Zealand from foreign interference
Legislation that will specifically criminalise foreign interference and strengthen espionage offences has passed first reading in Parliament today, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. “It is normal and appropriate for states to interact and work to influence one another. This encourages cooperation and can have mutually beneficial outcomes. “However, the reality ...3 days ago
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Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed news that the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) Board has approved funding towards pre-implementation and early works on the State Highway 1 (SH1) Belfast to Pegasus Motorway and Woodend Bypass Road of National Significance (RoNS). “Reaching this significant milestone is a reflection of our Government’s ...3 days ago
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Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says findings from the annual Health Survey highlight the need to continue driving better health outcomes for New Zealanders. The New Zealand Health Survey is an annual snapshot of key metrics measured from July 2023 – July 2024. Findings released this morning include: In 2023/24, ...3 days ago
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A renewed effort to get people to quit smoking will build on what has worked to date and target the groups who most need support, Associate Health Minister Casey Costello said today. “The latest New Zealand Health Survey results show the daily smoking rate at 6.9 per cent and we ...3 days ago
- New diplomatic appointments
Foreign Affairs Minister Winston Peters has announced four new diplomatic appointments. “Our diplomats play an important role in ensuring New Zealand’s interests are maintained and enhanced across the world,” Mr Peters says. “It is a pleasure to announce the appointment of these senior diplomats from the Ministry of Foreign ...4 days ago
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Regulation Minister David Seymour has today announced the next steps in the Government’s plan improve the quality of regulation by opening consultation on a proposed Regulatory Standards Bill. “New Zealand's low wages can be blamed on low productivity, and low productivity can be blamed on poor regulation,” says Mr Seymour. ...4 days ago
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The Minister for Youth Matt Doocey has today announced the eleventh Youth Parliament will be taking place in 2025. “Youth Parliament offers a unique youth development opportunity to young people from across New Zealand to experience the political process and learn about how government works,” says Mr Doocey. “The two-day ...4 days ago
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With the launch of Fraud Awareness Week, the Government is committing to new coordination efforts across industry and government to combat online scams, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly says. “Online financial scams are a growing problem for New Zealand. New data released today shows that Kiwis lost nearly ...4 days ago
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The Maritime Union also has zero faith in government assurances of a gold standard for ships used for the trade. ...1 hour ago - Offshore oil and gas ban ‘worst political decision’, Shane Jones says
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The committee plans to hold hearings in the week starting Monday, 27 January and the weeks starting 10, 17 and 24 February 2025. ...11 hours ago
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There is plenty yet to play out, but the next election is at this rate shaping up as trio versus trio, writes Toby Manhire. A subplot of this week’s historic hīkoi mō te Tiriti has been the sight of the three opposition parties presenting a unified front. Te Pāti Māori ...17 hours ago
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PM gets good head at vege convention.
One vege communicating with another
John meets the new Blue-Green candidate.
John Key said he’s “not personally opposed to broccoli,” having previously declined to publicly state his opinion on the subject.
Look at me, I’m a wanker.
“A broccoli in the hand is better than George W. Bush.”
Rich guy with neck-tie made of pure gold donates what he believes should keep food-bank well stocked for six months.
Fuckwit finally finds someone who believes his policies are working for the whole country.
Border control release photo of suspect wanted in relation to the import of Queensland fruit fly.
PM presents evidence he believes will prove his best friend John Banks did not come up the river on a gabbage boat.
New figures released by PM prove his policies are delivering growth.
PM inspects the item found inside his Finance Ministers skull.
Mr Key denies holding onto broccoli. Claims that it was a Trevor Mallard Dirty Trick.
Key temporarily caught without his maids, chef or butler is baffled by raw vegetable.
Key refutes claims that he came up the river on a broccoli boat.
“is this microphone on?”
No caption required. Self explanatory.
Yes my green friend, you can replace John Banks as my number one Vital Vegetable.
Only one of these is good for your health.
I don’t know about Vital, but Key’s definitely a Vegetable..
“Frankly, the way it’s going at the moment you can have the job”
The ideal Voter ! Now we just to breed a few thousand more..
“Flies in the face of Common Sense”
Straighten up and fly right
“Heart ache! heaaaart ache. hits ya its when too late, hits ya when ya dooooown….LOL WUT! This aint the Parnell Millionaires Karoake Club…………sheeesh man, I’m losing it”
John Key with the Minister of Finance who put together his last 2 budgets.
Head of broccoli announced as Keys successor.
Key not ruling out talking to Greens.
The best photo op Keys team could find.
Key tries to lure back expats.
Ceremony to appoint new Minister of Economic Development goes off without a hitch.
Key thanks god he’s not holding a carrot.
“I’m allergic to anti-cancerous foods,” Key said.
Key consults with National’s top advisor.
One of these is an unthinking vegetable.
The other is broccoli.
I love this one from fustercluck!! I could never better this!
Check 1-2, 1-2…is this thing even plugged in ?
hahaha it feels so funny to touch such a hard thing.
Worlds dumbest drug buyer gets ripped off buying heads.
Worlds dumbest PM swaps country for greenbacks.
Key inspects what he earnt under new performance-based-pay rules.
Key shows Epsom voters the candidate he wants them to vote for.
Fuckwit expecting a Knighthood gets what he really deserves.
When you said you’d give me head…
Lizard contemplates change in diet.
Key finally cleans ears out.
Runner-up in best vegetable competition.
Candid camera reveal PM to be a joke.
Hey Key-Baby! The name’s Brocolli, just call me Cubby! Now I wants ta know, can I get in on dat Warner Brudder’s deal? – I gotz heaps a Bond films idees! You can even have a big role in “Casino Royale”, I can even change da name to “Sky City Scam” – how does Chief Villain grab yuz?”
Well this one hasn’t been eaten by the fruit fly that our cut-backs let in….
Just like the economy this will be more efficient if we let the little bits on the top fall off and we just keep the big stalk.
Now remind me, which one of the vegetable are you? Jonathan? Maurice? Nathan?
Hey good looking, you are far more delicious than that cabbage John Banks
Herald replaces “Spot the Ball” competition with “Spot the vegetable.”
Key proudly displays the contents of his recent cranial procedure.
John Key reveals totem vegetable.
After seeing the media attention given to John Banks and his cabbages, John Key’s advisers organized the public display of his attention grabbing totem…
The broccoli and his friend were walking down the road when public opinion fell on them
An ambulance rushed them off to the hospital where they immediately went into surgery.
Finally the doctor emerged and approached the public who had been anxiously awaiting news.
“Tell me Doc, how are they?”
The doctor replied, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news.
The good news is the broccoli is going to live.
The bad news is we’re pretty sure his friend will remain a vegetable for the rest of his life.
Alas, poor Banksy ! I knew him, Gerry: a fellow
of infinite “I cant remember”, of most excellent fancy: he hath
borne me a cup a tea a thousand times; and now, how
abhorred in my imagination it is! my gorge rims at
it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know
not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your
gambols? your anonymous donations? your flashes of credit,
that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one
now, to mock your own grinning? quite chap-fallen?
Alas indeed hell 🙂
I suppose i better get used to cuddling up to the greens as it will be my only chance at knighthood is to get a third term!
This acid is awesome! The ice cream tastes funny though…
“Hey Bill ,you know the difference between this and snot ? ”
“I never eat broccoli “.
Is this NZ grown veg?
Banksy, you know I can’t continue having a vegetable such as you as a Minister.
But anyway I thought you said cabbage, not broccoli!
John Key meets his intellectual match.
Intellectually, neither had the upper hand.
Key contemplates new toupee.
I prefer my veges raw, straight from the earth, covered in minerals and high grade oil.
Most of the people that voted for me had brains smaller than this.
He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother.
PM announces all beneficiaries must eat the genetically modified broccoli for research purposes.
PM announces that any beneficiaries who become ill after eating GM broccoli will be denied treatment at public hospitals.
Gag me with a spoon, is this what they acshully eat?
Key ponders return to investment banking.
Who needs fiscal responsibility when I’ve got this.
God I wish I was holding a trottie!
pm contemplates industry award for his convincing proof of the Peter Principle
Pity I was never a bride.
Bugger, this broccoli doesn’t seem to be working for me the way it did for the women in the PETA Super bowl ad.