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Caption Competition

Written By: - Date published: 1:00 pm, April 24th, 2015 - 114 comments
Categories: caption contest, social media lolz, uncategorized, you couldn't make this shit up - Tags: , ,

John Key Kate Middleton

114 comments on “Caption Competition”

  1. Capn Insano 1

    “You do *what* with a bath, custard and a diving costume with the bottom cut out?”

  2. Puckish Rogue 2

    “Guess what”
    “what?”
    “Nationals still 47% in the polls according to Roy Morgan”
    “No way!”
    “Way, oh and nice hair”

    🙂

    • swordfish 2.1

      (1) 45.5%, not 47% (as you yourself acknowledged just a couple of hours ago here… /open-mike-24042015/#comment-1004827 …how strange that you’d suddenly add a phantom 1.5 points).
      Lowest Nat support level in quite some time.

      (2) Roy Morgan concludes an election today would be “too close to call”.

      (3) Conducted, of course, before the latest bizarre scandal.

      Still, amusing to see you clutching at straws 🙂

      • Puckish Rogue 2.1.1

        Sorry force of habit with National I guess 🙂

        “Guess what”
        “what?”
        “Labours dropped to 27.5% in the polls according to Roy Morgan”
        “No way!”
        “Way, oh and nice hair”

        🙂

    • ankerawshark 2.2

      Pukish rogue………………Good god man! You still want National to be high in the polls when they are lead by a man with a pony tail fetish who just can’t keep it under control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What does this tell us about you?

      • Puckish Rogue 2.2.1

        That i don’t judge someone with a mental illness as harshly as you? For shame ankerawshark for shame

        • ankerawshark 2.2.1.1

          It depends on the mental illness. Psychopathy, anti social personality disorder, sexual disorder such as fetishism…………………..not so sure I judge them, just want to stay clear of them and I certainly don’t want someone running the country with one of the above!!!!!! Less judgemental of the above if they seek out treatment and try and contain their problem rather than inflicting it on others.

          • Brendon Harre 2.2.1.1.1

            People this is not a mental health issue -I am a psychiatric nurse.

            John Key was acting in a way consistent with being a dick, a dork, a kindergarten bully, an attention seeking teenager who lacks social skills to attract the opposite sex or someone who tries too hard for everybody to love him.

            Another possibility being John Key was pissed off and physically teased the waitress because she did not show him the ‘love’ that he expects. Maybe the waitress didn’t like John before the hair pulling had started, maybe she was professional to him while the other staff went along with his ‘horsing around’ and John wasn’t going to let her get away with that so started the pony tail pulling.

            Whatever it was, it was John Keys behaviour and he was responsible for it. There is no excuses, certainly not that John Key was mentally ill.

            • ankerawshark 2.2.1.1.1.1

              Hi Brendon,

              I think you are spot on and this is one of the best analysis I have heard so far.

              Key is likely use to sycophantant behaviour and likely Amanda didn’t respond in this way to him, but kept it civil and professional. So she became a target for him “Iam going to make you love me” comes to mind…………….pathetic and sickening.

              JK is certainly responsible for his own behaviour as most people with a mental illness are (unless they are acutely psychotic).

              I do think this need of his to be “loved and admired” and not getting this bothered him enough to harass the waitress into compliance. Except, she wasn’t going to comply. Good on you Amanda

        • te reo putake 2.2.1.2

          “That i don’t judge someone with a mental illness as harshly as you? ”

          An interesting acknowledgement there, PR. If someone as devoted to Team Blue as you is prepared to publicly claim the PM is mentally ill, howdya reckon the voters are seeing it?

          • Puckish Rogue 2.2.1.2.1

            Well heres the latest poll from Roy Morgan:

            http://www.roymorgan.com/findings/6187-roy-morgan-new-zealand-voting-intention-april-2015-201504230106

            But seriously I think the rabid Key supports will cancel out the rabid Key haters and the rest of NZ that don’t really care won’t worry about it that much, like his comments on pink shirts or mincing down a cat walk

            • te reo putake 2.2.1.2.1.1

              Well, I know I’ve said this before … but wait until the next one 😉 That RM reflects the country over the last couple of weeks, including a by-election bounce for Winnie. And it still has the opposition bloc in a strong position.

              I’m guessing the likes of Reid Research and Curia will be on the phones as we speak doing a round of unscheduled ‘preferred PM’ polling. That’s where the hit will be felt first.

              PS. I have a new slogan for Labour: Sure we’ve been pretty average, but at least we’re not weirdos.

  3. Clemgeopin 3

    “ What a tantalising lock of hair you have, Katy! Deviant older men don’t pull it do they? No. That’s good. We don’t want that to happen, do we!”

  4. joe90 4

    Gimme head with hair
    Long beautiful hair
    Shining, gleaming,
    Streaming, flaxen, waxen

    Give me down to there hair
    Shoulder length or longer
    Here baby, there mama
    Everywhere daddy daddy

    • Puckish Rogue 4.1

      🙂

    • Unicus 4.2

      Walking along Mt Eden Rd a while back behind a group of middle aged guys going to a game at Eden park . Festooned with fashionably ” isis black ” flags – suddenly – and apparently oblivious of small children and old ladies also sharing the footpath one dropped his trackies and did a brown-eye for his mates following behind – enough to make a gynecologist puke.

      Oh the hilarity ! having not attended a rugby game since the National Party instigated civil war of 1981 Id forgotten what fun it must be to be out with the boys (sic) abandoned to the prerogatives of brainless mate-ship.

      So John think about what real men are doing next time you’r horsing around at Rosie’s drop those designer jeans – hey why not really test your popularity and choke a number on the magazine rack while you’re at it- you can always blame Bronagh !!

  5. oarSum 5

    What will two bottles of red wine get me?

  6. BLiP 6

    Oh, yeah, on the world stage I’m a real joker, love to relax and horse around, can’t be serious all the time, gotta have a laugh otherwise, well, you know, and ackshully do you know what? I once told everyone my wife looked like a Hobbit when standing next to Michelle Obama. Somehow neither Bronagh or Michelle thought that was hilarious, but everyone else cracked up. It was great. Almost as good as the cannibal joke I told about Maori, talk about shit-yourself-funny, it was EPIC. But enough about me. How are you? I love what you’re doing with your hair. Do you happen to know Liz Hurley at all?

  7. No, I don’t believe I’ve seen ‘Something about Mary’. Why do you ask?

    Guava, balsam and a little kiwifruit. Why do you ask?

    It’s woven out of possum, you say?

  8. Pasupial 8

    “Love the hair – give us a tug.”

  9. rawshark-yeshe 9

    I might be a party pooper. I don’t think this caption competition is appropriate especially in the current climate. Can’t articulate why just yet … but it seems to be minimalising the issues and making them seem ok ? Kind of like when somebody says ” I know it’s a bit racist, but this joke is really funny” and I ask them not to continue. Racism is never funny. And maybe this sexism shouldn’t be either.

    • BLiP 9.2

      Hmmm . . . pause for thought. Thank you, rawshark-yeshe.

      Reminder to Self: Just pause for a moment and have a wee think before jumping into a potential Dog Pile.

      • rawshark-yeshe 9.2.1

        Thx Blip — and I promise no Dog Pile from me ! I thought your caption was very clever and funny, but then I realized none of it can be truly funny. Like racism. None of it ever can be. And I thought hard before posting .. Bailey and Billingsley and millions of unseen others made me do it.

        Reminder to self: try not to leave dog piles for others to step into.

    • Murray Rawshark 9.3

      If you feel uncomfortable, I’d say that’s enough. You have good instincts.

  10. swordfish 10

    Key: “Come on, Girly, just give your Old Uncle John a quick thrill ! Oh come on, now, I just want to cop a quick feel !, where’s the harm in that ? I’ve got some sweeties in my pockets”

  11. cogito 11

    Kate: “Sleazebag”.
    Key: “That’s what they all say”.

  12. ankerawshark 12

    KEY: “I’d like to horse around with your pony”

    KATE: …………….the expression says it all

  13. Clemgeopin 13

    “Would your eyes pop out in shock if I confess I am not fond of brazilians?”

  14. joe90 14

    Come to me, my own, my love, myyy preccccccciiiouuuussss…..

  15. Change the flag to a ponytail, you say? How very interesting.

    No, I will not get you a latte even if you do call me Princess!

    No, I hadn’t heard of that practice. And you say it’s called a Hoskings? Frightfully good!

  16. and even after she asked you to stop you kept touching her hair in a creepy abusive way – what the hell are you?

  17. Potato 17

    Kate’s thought bubble – “People in New Zealand actually vote for this guy?”

  18. cogito 18

    Kate: “galloping colonial clot”.

  19. amirite 19

    “Happy to see you Your Royal Highness, that’s a hair tie in my pocket,”

  20. b waghorn 20

    Get your hand off there!!

  21. rod 21

    Hi, if you like fun, banter, horsing around and hair pulling. I’m your man.

  22. Can’t say I’m in favour of this caption contest. Sure it’s all a bit of good fun but at it’s core it’s still joking about a serious, harmful form of harassment. And I suspect the bulk of people participating have never had to worry about people in their workplace casually treating them like sexual objects, and don’t appreciate what a viscerally unpleasant topic this is for many.

    • felix 22.1

      Agree it’s minimising.

    • swordfish 22.2

      Fair enough. Must admit I had a few qualms after posting my caption. Probably should have deleted. Don’t really want to make light of an unpleasant issue.

    • BLiP 22.3

      Hmmmm . . . rawshark-yeshe said the same sort of thing. I was wondering if it was just a bit too soon but, yeah, it is joking about sexual assault, victim blaming, workplace safety, human rights abuses, and a scantily clad operation across the MSM being run by John Key’s Dirty Politics Machine.

      Interesting dillemma, though. The worker is a hero and there is much cause for everyone to be grateful to her, even John Key. It is essential that this matter be treated seriously and the delivery of whatever justice the worker requires is prompt, fulsome and complete. But what about ensuring momentum? For what ever reason, this display of John Key’s character has had real cut through across the spectrum. This issue could do so much good for so long, especially it an eternal source for universally enjoyed mockery. Does this process have to result in a minimisation of the wider situation? How else can John Key mocked without reference to this crime?

      • rawshark-yeshe 22.3.1

        Maybe it’s a little to do with power .. and I am still thinking deeply about this.

        For example only, if the competition had been for things we wish Amanda Bailey had been able to say or do to Key, would that be ok ? My first thought is yes, but am still working through why.

        And trying not to step in dog pile. And Blip .. I agree. It is vital we can keep oxygen flowing to all of this.

      • phillip ure 22.3.2

        that is what is hurting key the most at the moment..

        ..that the world is essentially laughing at him..

        ..and the more fuel on that fire..the better…

        ..and i don’t think that doing this minimises the underlying issues..

        ..in any way..

        ..in fact this is just part of an unfolding theme of awareness (finally!) of how screwed over/abused the lowest-paid are..(c.f. widespread revulsion at zero hour contracts..)

        ..satire/piss-taking has long been an effective weapon against the powerful and corrupt..

        ..a tool to hold them to account..

        ..and calls to stop that satire/piss-taking chill the blood..

        • rawshark-yeshe 22.3.2.1

          agree. but what if we are satirising the wrong target ? nowhere do i suggesxt not doing it.

        • Chooky 22.3.2.2

          pu +100…”satire/piss-taking has long been an effective weapon against the powerful and corrupt”

          ….i dont think it is minimising the topic…more like role playing empathising…and exploring the permutations around it…far better than hiding it away…and laughter is good medicine

          …absolutely anyone can be subject to offensive innuendo, harassment, bullying, false accusations, sexual harassment, assault …even guys ….by other guys or by women in positions of power

          …and I am one who once was subject to sexual harassment in the workplace by a ‘boss’ who i considered and still consider dangerous , so I sure as hell don’t minimise it! …and I have nothing but admiration for Amanda Bailey for bringing it out into the light of day!

      • Clemgeopin 22.3.3

        Amanda Bailey, the waitress, likened John Key’s behaviour to “school yard bullying” and said she felt powerless and humiliated.

        In the wake of the revelations, many prominent people and groups have weighed in, mostly in defence of Ms Bailey and ridiculing the Prime Minister.

        Political analyst Bryce Edwards told TV ONE’s Breakfast programme yesterday that Mr Key may struggle to recover from damages incurred by his ponytail tugging.

        “A lot of people will be laughing at John Key, that’s harder to recover from,” Mr Edwards said.

        link here,
        http://tvnz.co.nz/national-news/john-key-hopes-retain-happy-go-lucky-nature-in-wake-ponytail-saga-6299208 .

        • Chooky 22.3.3.1

          Clem +100…”“A lot of people will be laughing at John Key, that’s harder to recover from,” Mr Edwards said.”

  23. Sutton's li'l helper 23

    “Ever been to a ‘princess party’ Kate”?

  24. Stickler 24

    Key meets Locks.

  25. ianmac 25

    “Kate. Umm. Kate. When you get your lovely smooth sensuous hair cut next time, can I have the cuttings to stroke in my hidden place? Please?”

  26. key:..’would you like to come and see my little pony collection..?

    ..i’ll let you brush them’..

  27. key:..

    ‘can i ask what conditioner you use in your (gulp!) hair..?’

  28. key:..

    ‘would you like me to plait that for you..?’

    • Chooky 28.1

      Kate: “No !…fuck off!…lay one pudgy finger on my hair and I will smite your head off with my special knighting sword”

      …” I am going to tell my Mother-in -law on you!…just you wait”

  29. cogito 29

    Key: “Well Kate, it’s pretty simple ackshually. You either let me have a feel or I’ll change the NZ flag…. And it’ll be bye bye royals…. HAHAHA”.

  30. cogito 30

    Kate: “Mr Keylusconi, I presume”.
    Key: “Bring on the punga punga party!”

  31. Planet Earth 31

    So it is just a bit of banter, right? just checking

  32. Adrian 32

    “Ooooh, thats a lovely HEAD of hair Queen Kate”
    “Touch it , and you’ll lose yours! “.

    I wish.

  33. Clemgeopin 33

    “Hey, Kate, would your eyes pop out if I were to tell you that I have had a vasectomy done on myself? “

  34. sckiwireddevil 34

    Key; ”I’m a cross-dresser, don’t you know”.

  35. key:..

    ‘say sorry to yr mum-in-law..eh..?..for me pulling her hair when i was staying there..eh..?..’

  36. Jiminy Cricket 36

    Key sprouts blonde mullet

  37. fender 37

    “Yeah, I’m a pretty sick guy, so I’ll be emptying out the shower-trap before you board the airplane”

  38. Tel 38

    Kate never got the memo, “You might not want to invite him around to lunch.”

  39. Chooky 39

    Jeezuz what a good picture !…i can think of all sorts of things for the dialogue box….but I won’t say them!

  40. Walk Away 40

    Kate: “Security if he touches my hair shoot him.”

    or

    Kate to Key: “Yes I am more important, powerful and richer than you but NO! I will not touch your hair your little creep.”

    or

    Key to self “Hair goes the knighthood.”

    or

    Kate: “Do that again and you will find out why we still have Trident”

  41. Chooky 41

    Message to John Key:

    “Ride your own pony!”

    ( someone said this was a joke doing the rounds in South Auckland)

  42. Clemgeopin 42

    ” Katy, Would your eyes pop out if I were to show a bit of happy-go-lucky horsing around with much jolly banter and do a quick hair-pulling prank on that irresistible lock of hair of yours? I don’t normally ask permission, but you are so special!”

  43. Treetop 43

    So your the new court jester John. I do not find you to be amusing at all.

  44. fender 44

    “Some people think my wife’s a greenie cos I won’t let her shave her legs”

  45. Incognito 45

    “I bet you’d be a lovely Lady Godiva”

  46. Clemgeopin 46

    ” I am looking forward to my visit to Turkey, princes. A penny for your guess!”

    http://liberation.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451d75d69e201bb0822093f970d-800wi

  47. linda 47

    creepykey to, ” rapunzel rapunzel may i pull your hair”

  48. david 48

    My next goal is to pull the ponytail of a Royal. How about it Kate?

  49. david 49

    JK looks like he has his own grey ponytail!

    • Chooky 49.1

      yes…does this mean he is wearing a wig toupee hair piece?…because the fringe at the neck is not the same colour as the top mat!

      …maybe Winston should challenge him and Peter Dunne to a duel …a wig pulling contest to see whose hair is really really real

      ….I reckon Winston’s is real and Peter Dunne’s is real ….but I suspect that Jonkey’s wig would go flying

  50. Alpha z 50

    dont b afraid of me the big bad wolf. only want to put finger in yur luvrly hair

    ~ nah, fok off kreep!

  51. Joy Clark 51

    “May I pull your…. finger your Royal Highness….? I have been advised to change tack somewhat aye…..”

  52. Neil 52

    You want to do WHAT???
    I somehow think your wife & my husband would be utterly disgusted.

  53. Clemgeopin 53

    “Hey, Kate, would your eyes pop out if I were to tell you that my wife refers to herself as ‘Stud-Screwer’?….Oops! your eyes did pop out!, ha,ha! What a lot of fun and banter I am having!”

    [ John Key tells UN ambassadors about how Bronagh filed a tax-return with stud-screwer as her occupation!
    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11436771 ]

  54. Clemgeopin 54

    Kate : In UK we love to go hare hunting.
    J Key : In NZ, I do too and I’m the top dog!
    Kate : (Confused and eyes pop out) What!?

  55. rod 55

    Hello I’m John Key, It must be a great thrill for you to meet me.

  56. The Real Matthew 56

    Kate: So the major opposition party in your country is led by someone who came 3rd in a caucus vote?

  57. Chooky 57

    Kate: “You should join a pony club…on second thoughts maybe not!”

  58. weka 58

    Thanks Stephanie and yeshe, I also feel uncomfortable about this post and thread.

  59. Alpha z 59

    prinsuss, i got 2 films for u to see. ull luv them. hot hot as!

    ~ https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Key+pony+tail
    ~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6WUYzLaEOo&feature=player_detailpage

    [lprent: despite the tone. This is not spam. ]

  60. SMILIN 60

    “You want to do what? Im a married woman “

  61. cogito 61

    Kate: do you support the TPP?
    Key: but of course, Kate. Not only do I support it, I am it – The Ponytail Puller.

  62. Murray Rawshark 62

    This is also not my favourite post of all time. I’m not 100% sure why, but possibly because the power differential at the heart of Key’s assault on Amanda Bailey is not present in this picture.

    • I’ve been thinking about it a bit, too, Murray. For me, I agree the photo does ignore Amanda Bailey, but that’s because it’s focussing on the fallout, not the incident. It’s looking at an aspect of what this means for Key, which is international humiliation.

      This is a guy who makes a big deal about how he’s BFF’s with world leaders and royalty. But I’m betting if he ever gets to play golf with Barack Obama again, the Secret Service will be watching him like a hawk if the Obama girls are within stroking distance. Key’s forever going to be that weird guy from New Zealand; the Perve Minister, The Prime Molester etc.

    • Chooky 62.2

      as i see it this post is all about taking the mickey out of John Key

      …it is John key who should be feeling uncomfortable because he looks like an inappropriate creep around woman…looks like even female royalty are astounded and have their doubts about him!

      … if anything all the comments here are supporting the heroic stand of Amanda Bailey against Jonkey’s abuse of power and creepy behaviour

      …most unbecoming of New Zealand’s Prime Minister!…or any Prime Minister in the civilised world….

  63. cogito 63

    Kate: Her Majesty has been informed of your proclivities, Mr Key.
    Key: Well, Kate I am honoured. So far I’ve only done it with a waitress and a couple of kids, but doing it with Her Majesty… well, that has been my dream ever since I was small boy growing up in a little state house in Christchurch with my Austrian mother working three jobs….

  64. alwyn 64

    Kate. What ever happened to that peculiar man Cunliffe we were forced to be polite to last year?
    Key. He got a bit carried away with his fantasies. His peccadillos were like those of your husband’s uncle, Prince Andrew. At least David’s wife came to her senses and dumped him.
    Kate. Really. I thought he was a creep but I didn’t realise he was that bad.

    • Chooky 64.1

      @alwyn…obviously this post is getting to you because you are trying to undermine David Cunliffe….no one is fooled

      • alwyn 64.1.1

        Me, undermining David Cunliffe?
        I thought he did a pretty good job of that himself without any help from anyone else.
        Did you see the way that the Labour Party poll support dropped steadily every month that he was the leader?
        Anyway, why bother. He is like last week’s newspaper. Good only for wrapping up the rubbish and dumping it into the bin.

    • Murray Rawshark 64.2

      That’s just sick garbage. Andrew’s peccadillos are alleged to include sex with an underage woman. It’s not the Labour Party you should be looking at for that. Even so, the woman in question was a hell of a lot older than the victims of the prominent New Zealander.

  65. cogito 65

    Kate: So do you think that your tactile fascination with hair is going to damage you politically , Mr Key?

    Key: On the contrary, Kate. My fascination with hair is even shared by my political opponents, who are bringing in an attractive ex-hairdresser as their new MP. Hair politics could well determine the future look of the NZ government.

  66. burt 66

    I’ve got 2 bottles of wine, want to play Amy Winehands while I pull your hair ?

  67. Clemgeopin 67

    ” Kate, my dear! What nice eyes you have! Will those by chance pop out if I were to tell you that I am so popular down here that I can aukshully get away with anything, anything at all!…For instance, I can tug on your lock of hair many many times and carry on without a care in the world again and again, even after you tell me to stop, because, I am Rt. Honourable Mr Key and I am very popular here and everywhere! I have carefully worked people around to think that I am an easy going funny guy full of bucks and banter! And oh, if I do get caught out, no worries! All I have to do is give you a bunch of my bottles of red wine, say ‘Oh, sorry, so very sorry, didn’t realise’ and just move on! Yep, all will be kosher! No drama. Cool ye, princess?”

  68. Anon E Mouse 68

    If you pull my hair again I’m going to swat you

  69. Donald Rutherford 69

    “Akshully Im really just another wineo but I left my raincoat at the cafe “

  70. e-clectic 70

    I do a great version of the Jaws theme song, wanna hear it?

  71. e-clectic 71

    Say, how about you hop on my lap and we talk about the first thing that pops up – don’t worry it won’t be a long conversation.

  72. e-clectic 72

    Lucky that glistening mane of yours isn’t in a ponytail or I’d be all over you like impetigo.

  73. Clemgeopin 73

    “Katy, my dear, I am just looking at your tantalising hair! And such pretty big eyes too! Will those pop out even bigger if I were to casually tell you that we too have big eyes, FIVE big eyes, in fact!”

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    2 days ago
  • The Americans are trying to kill us all again
    The Treaty on Open Skies is one of the most effective mechanisms for preventing war curently in force. By letting countries make surveillance flights over each others' territory, it eliminates fears that they are secretly preparing for war. So naturally, the US is planning to withdraw from it: The Trump ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 days ago
  • Life in Lock Down: Day 11
    . . April 5: Day eleven of living in lock-down… My one day of rest for the week, and an opportunity to mow my lawns – which I’d been delaying for about three weeks. (On the plus side, the damp micro-climate in my back yard yielded three lovely fresh mushrooms ...
    Frankly SpeakingBy Frank Macskasy
    2 days ago
  • Now we know what the rules are
    As the lockdown has gone on, disquiet about what the rules were and the police's enforcement of them has grown. On Friday, Police admitted that they were abusing routine traffic stops to effectively set up illegal checkpoints, and on Saturday Stuff revealed internal police advice saying that they actually needed ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 days ago
  • Anti-fluoridation propaganda now relies on only four studies. 2: Green et al (2019)
    Paul Connett is putting all his eggs in one basket. He says “you only have to read four studies” to find community after fluoridation harmful. Image credit: Fluoride Action Network newsletter. For part 1 of this series see Anti-fluoridation propaganda now relies on only four studies. 1: Bashash et al (2018). Paul Connett, ...
    2 days ago
  • Hard News: Splore Listening Lounge 2020: the road to a “yes” vote
    As far as anyone can say, New Zeaand still has a general election scheduled for September 19 this year. The election will be accompanied by two referenda, one of which will ask voters:Do you support the proposed Cannabis Legalisation and Control Bill?The official campaign period for the cannabis referendum begins ...
    2 days ago
  • Obituary for The New Zealand Listener (1939-2020)
    The vast majority of tributes to the Listener hearken back to its glory days, with little reflection on the magazine as it was at its end.I wrote for it, for half the Listener’s life; I have known personally all the editors except the first (mythical) three. From 1978 to 2014 ...
    PunditBy Brian Easton
    2 days ago
  • Universal income – a challenge to capitalism or a crutch?
    As the world economy slides rapidly towards deep recession there are growing calls for a Universal Benefit coming from some leftists and rightists. Now Finance Minister Grant Robertson is saying it is on the table.  This article by a French party Workers Struggle provides analysis of various forms of universal ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    3 days ago
  • Anti-fluoridation propaganda now relies on only four studies. 1: Bashash et al (2018)
    This is the advice from the very top of the anti-fluoride movement – Paul Connett, director of the Fluoride Action Network (FAN). Don’t worry about reading  up on all the scientific information “You only have ...
    3 days ago
  • Life in Lock Down: Day 10
    . . April 4: Day 10 of living in lock-down… I wake up to a fine Saturday morning which normally would be like an early Christmas. But it’s Day 10 of Level 4 Lock Down. What  will my fellow New Zealanders be doing on a day like this – staying ...
    Frankly SpeakingBy Frank Macskasy
    3 days ago
  • Redline reaching out to more writers & readers
    Some time during the night we went over the 850,000 views mark. We might have had our millionth view by the end of this year – certainly by early next year. Most of the people involved in Redline spent years and years producing various small left-wing papers and selling them ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    3 days ago
  • Keir Starmer elected
    Comfortably, in the very first round, with an impressive 56% of the votes.I wonder, did members of the Shadow Cabinet start tweeting their resignations during Starmer's victory speech, or is that only a trick the right pull?It is odd how all the talk of how the next leader "needs to ...
    3 days ago
  • Hard News: Michael Baker and the Big House
    One of the key voices in this extraordinary time in which we live is that of University of Otago epidemiologist Professor Michael Baker. Philip Matthews did an an excellent job this weekend of capturing the way he became the man for this moment in a profile for The Press.But one ...
    3 days ago
  • New Zealand Gives up on Trying to Save Daylight
    New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern addressed the nation today about the decline in daylight New Zealand has been experiencing over the previous few months. She said “As many of you will notice, our attempts to stem the dwindling of the daylight over the last few months have been completely ...
    Can of wormsBy Can of Worms, Opened
    4 days ago
  • A bulletin from Greece
    Redline received this article from the KOE a Marxist party in Greece Our friends in the KOE describe here the mounting crisis in Greece and tensions on the Turkish border. As desperate people flee from their homelands which have been ruined after decades of imperialist wars and interventions the people ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    4 days ago
  • And God spake all these words, saying
    As the first week of Level Four lockdown unfolded, mounting questions grew as to just what was (and was not) allowed under its “rules”. Partly these were driven by some apparently contradictory messages from different authority figures and explanations carried in the media. Partly they reflected a somewhat sketchy legal basis ...
    PunditBy Andrew Geddis
    4 days ago
  • Life in Lock Down: Day 9
    . . April 3: Day 9 of living in lock-down… Another late-start to my work day. Everything is temporarily upended as clients are shuffled around so we can minimise our “bubble” by reducing the number of people we help. One of my colleagues has been removed from his clients; his ...
    Frankly SpeakingBy Frank Macskasy
    4 days ago
  • Death to our lockdown enemies!
    We must root out the traitors among us! ...
    Imperator FishBy Scott Yorke
    5 days ago
  • Climate Change: The benefits of electrification
    In order to meet our 2050 carbon target and do our bit to avoid making the Earth uninhabitable, New Zealand needs to decarbonise our economy, replacing fossil fuels with electricity in the energy, industrial and transport sectors. The good news is that it will mean cheaper power for all of ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    5 days ago
  • Life in Lock Down: Day 8 (sanitised version)
    For those folk who find my other Lock-Down Diary versions too “negative” or otherwise unpalatable… Here’s a photo of a pretty flower, .   . Better? Tomorrow’s Sanitised Version: a cute animal video. . . . =fs= ...
    Frankly SpeakingBy Frank Macskasy
    5 days ago
  • Life in Lock Down: Day 8
    . . April 2: Day eight of living in lock-down… Today, my work day starts late. Our rosters and clients have been dramatically changed, lessening (theoretically) the number of people in our work “bubble”.  If just one of us catches covid19 the impact could be considerable as Grey Base Hospital ...
    Frankly SpeakingBy Frank Macskasy
    5 days ago
  • A note on apartments and bubbles
    As Aotearoa enters week two of lockdown, it’s clear we’re all still working out what our “bubbles” look like and how to stay in them to stop the spread of Covid-19. New to the government’s Covid-19 website is some good guidance for people living in apartment blocks. Recent decades have ...
    SciBlogsBy Siouxsie Wiles
    5 days ago
  • Getting in futures shape 
    “There are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks where decades happen.” Lenin Don’t we all know that feeling now.

    Prospect Magazine alerted me to this particularly apt quote. It is a much more evocative quote than Hemingway’s “gradually then suddenly” which is also doing ...

    SciBlogsBy Robert Hickson
    5 days ago
  • Maybe axing Clark would be unfair. But what about any of this is fair?
    Yesterday was the day the consequences of the lockdown suddenly got very real for many. Firms have been closing and laying people off since the outset of the quarantine but this has mostly been happening out of the public eye. The mass closure of a number of iconic New Zealand ...
    PunditBy Liam Hehir
    5 days ago
  • Might a ‘Coasean’ social contract mitigate overall societal harm from COVID-19?
    Brian Williamson1, Prof Nick Wilson2 (1Economic consultant, UK; 2University of Otago Wellington) In this blog, we outline how a win-win social contract could be forged to address the major dimensions of response to the COVID-19 pandemic when using a mitigation strategy: the particular need to protect older people from high ...
    SciBlogsBy Public Health Expert
    5 days ago
  • Returning To “Normalcy”.
    Resuming Normal Service: The Republican Party's nominee for in 1920, Warren Harding, promised the American people: “not heroics, but healing; not nostrums, but normalcy; not revolution, but restoration”. If she wishes to remain our prime minister, then Jacinda Ardern will offer New Zealanders the same.HOW EDUCATED AMERICA snickered when the ...
    5 days ago
  • New Zealand’s Government Must Save New Zealand’s Media.
    No Free Society Without A Free And Functioning News Media: If we are to surrender our civil rights to the broader cause of defeating Covid-19, then foreign corporations must, likewise, surrender their right to inflict immense economic and cultural harm on New Zealanders simply because it improves their bottom line.I’M ...
    5 days ago
  • Corona fevers and the madness of models
    by Daphna Whitmore A third of the world is under lockdown and a clear assessment of this measure to curb the spread of COVID-19 is urgently needed.  With any high-stakes decisions it has to be asked what are we dealing with here? Are the measures warranted? Will they achieve their ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    5 days ago
  • Lockdown day 8
    I haven’t done a huge amount in the last few days. I’m reading The Poppy War and I’ve sort of poked at a couple of games – I started SOMA but I’m a wimp and I quit while in the first room after the brain scan. I might try it ...
    The little pakehaBy chrismiller
    6 days ago
  • Backstage and Theatre
    The swan politicians may be gliding on the water, occasionally snapping at one another. Meanwhile, as the Covid19 crisis illustrates, the officials are desperately paddling below providing the real locomotion. One of the most fatuous recent grandstanding comments (of about a week ago), adding to the public’s anxieties, was ...
    PunditBy Brian Easton
    6 days ago
  • Legal Beagle: Waiver, the singular Crown and the conduct of Crown legal business
    Much has been written about the importance of discretion in an emergency situation, and the concerns raised by the potential for it to be exercised arbitrarily. Given the quality of the discussion, there seemed little point in adding to it at any length. In particular, I point to the evidence ...
    6 days ago
  • Highlights from Bauer Media’s science-related reporting
    Today has felt surreal. I was all set to touch base online with my science communication students when a colleague shared the news that Bauer Media would be shutting down its publications immediately. The first link I saw implied it was Woman’s Weekly affected, and even that shocked me. But ...
    SciBlogsBy Sarah-Jane O'Connor
    6 days ago
  • Outsiders.
    Bogeymen, Real And Imagined: Is the number of psychopathic and sociopathic individuals in any given society truly as vanishingly small as we like to tell ourselves? Isn’t it more likely that the mass-shooters and serial-killers filling the headlines represent only the tip of a much, much larger iceberg of frightfulness? ...
    6 days ago
  • We have a right to know the rules we are expected to obey
    Outgoing Police Commissioner Mike Bush appeared before the Epidemic Response Committee today, who asked him for the rules police are using to enforce the lockdown. He refused:Police Commissioner Mike Bush has admitted the advice given to Kiwis about what they're able to do during the lockdown hasn't been clear enough. ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    6 days ago
  • Life in Lock Down: Day 7 (sanitised version)
    For those folk who find my other Lock-Down Diary versions too “negative” or otherwise unpalatable… Here’s a photo of my cat, . . Better? Tomorrow’s Sanitised Version: a pretty flower. . . . =fs= ...
    Frankly SpeakingBy Frank Macskasy
    6 days ago
  • Life in Lock Down: Day 7
    . . April 1: Day seven of living in lock-down… This morning I had a brief chat with one of my neighbours, “D” (social distance between us, a good three or four metres). I learned he had resigned from his previous job and had been hired by another company – ...
    Frankly SpeakingBy Frank Macskasy
    6 days ago
  • RIP The Listener, New Zealand’s pioneering voice
    Funnily enough, my thought as I start this post is whether it will be well written enough. Or should that be well enough written? Because so much of what I know about good writing came from my two stints at The Listener, which this morning was shut down due to ...
    PunditBy Tim Watkin
    6 days ago
  • OK, Britney: stop sniping at National for doing its job
    With normal democratic procedures in abeyance, there were two ways to go. First, it was open for the government to dissolve itself and invite the National Party to join a ministry of national salvation. That would have lessened the democratic deficit of the times by having a team of rivals without ...
    PunditBy Liam Hehir
    6 days ago
  • Helpful tips for parents during lockdown
    Dr Kirsty Ross Children and young people can respond differently in times of distress. This also varies by age and developmental stage, with younger children having more magical and imaginative thinking, and older children having more awareness and knowledge of the issues our communities are facing (which brings up ...
    SciBlogsBy Guest Author
    6 days ago
  • Skeptical Science New Research for Week #13, 2020
    7 days ago
  • Hungary is now a dictatorship
    Hungary has been a virtual dictatorship for a decade now, as Prime Minister Viktor Orbán has gradually eroded its democracy. But now, its official, with the passage of an indefinite emergency law allowing rule by decree:Hungary’s parliament has passed a new set of coronavirus measures that includes jail terms for ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    7 days ago
  • A new Ministry of Works
    While the economy is on pause under lockdown, the government is beginning to plan how to cope with the post-lockdown, post-tourism, post-export education world we will eventually find ourselves in. They're planning a lot of infrastructure spending as economic stimulus, and have asked for proposals which can start the moment ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    7 days ago
  • Capture: Well spaced out
    It's my distraction,  setting up tiny scenes to photograph.  I've got stuck on the Babushka dolls for now.  Something about their bubble shape.  Something about their never changing, smiling features, suggesting persistent equanimity.  Can we get through everything that is being thrown at us and keep at least a tiny ...
    7 days ago
  • Life in Lock Down: Day 6
    . . March 31: Day six of living in lock-down… This time I managed to sleep a little longer and the alarm woke me at the pre-set time: 6.55am. Then remembered I was working a later shift and could’ve slept in. Oh well, there are things to do at home. ...
    Frankly SpeakingBy Frank Macskasy
    7 days ago
  • March ’20 – NZ blogs sitemeter ranking
    Image credit: Diamond Harbour School Blogs I notice a few regulars no longer allow public access to the site counters. This may happen accidentally when the blog format is altered. If your blog is unexpectedly missing or ...
    1 week ago
  • Hard News: Poll Pot and the partisans
    Yesterday's Horizon poll showing support for a "Yes" vote in this year's cannabis referendum sliding into the majority for the first time in a year looked like good news for reformers – and it probably is. But the result warrants some scrutiny.The poll is the fifth in a series commissioned ...
    1 week ago
  • Why those bubbles are so important
    For almost a week now, every one of us who isn’t an essential worker has been confined to their bubble. We are allowed to go shopping for groceries, to visit the doctor, and to get a bit of exercise if we stay local. The reason we are doing this is ...
    SciBlogsBy Siouxsie Wiles
    1 week ago
  • A Government System That Works
    The Covid-19 saga will no doubt produce many twists and turns for us before it is finally brought to an end. But one thing it has shown us – and what comfort it should bring us – is that our country’s government is in good hands. I am not thinking ...
    Bryan GouldBy Bryan Gould
    1 week ago
  • Smashing down the barriers: Where are we at with COVID vaccines?
    In the absence of a vaccine or a cure for a deadly disease, staying home in your bubble is what you do, the concept is not new.  To the best of my knowledge last time we did this in NZ was for polio, in the years before a vaccine came ...
    SciBlogsBy Helen Petousis Harris
    1 week ago
  • National Network on Cuba (USA): “Cuban medical solidarity is a pillar of its society and is founde...
    The following statement was released on March 28 by the National Network on Cuba, a coalition of 40 groups, based in the United States. In recent weeks, Cuba has deployed hundreds of medical providers to over a dozen countries in Europe, Asia, as well as to their neighbors in Latin ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    1 week ago
  • Alarming decrease in calves increases fears for endangered Hector’s dolphin
    This has been a terrible summer for Hector’s dolphins. The first indication was very low numbers of dolphin sightings during late spring and early summer. The Otago University Marine Mammal Research Team has carried out routine dolphin surveys at Banks Peninsula for more than 30 years. In all that time, ...
    SciBlogsBy Otago Marine Science
    1 week ago
  • Time for Grant Robertson to reveal package #2?
    On March 17, Finance Minister Grant Robertson was quick out of the blocks with an economic rescue package to help businesses through the inevitable recession resulting from the coronavirus pandemic. Robertson had pulled together a scheme in short order that so far seems to have saved many jobs. In his ...
    PunditBy Tim Watkin
    1 week ago
  • Saving lives
    The purpose of the lockdown is to save lives, by reducing the spread of covid-19. We won't know if its really working for another week, but given the devastation that will result if it doesn't - 14,000 dead is the optimistic scenario - its definitely worth trying. But pausing the ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Life in Lock Down: Day 5
    . . March 30: Day five of living in lock-down… Woke up still in darkness. Alarm hadn’t gone off. Turn to radio clock; it’s a few minutes after 6am… I lie there in the dark, waiting to drift off to sleep… but it ain’t happening. Clock ticks over to 6.55 ...
    Frankly SpeakingBy Frank Macskasy
    1 week ago
  • Speaker: Les Gray: the man who told the truth
    The story of Les Gray, the public sector psychologist who told the truth about his use of cannabis and set off a storm, has a special place in the lore of cannabis reform in New Zealand.When Paul Shannon interviewed Gray for the 'Dope and Hope' issue of Planet magazine in ...
    1 week ago
  • Why now? Historical specificity and the perfect storm that has created trans identity politics
    by Phil Duncan For Marxists, a key concern about social trends is their context – not just their causes, but why they happen when they do.  Events and phenomena have causes, but they also are time or period-specific. While much of the left have capitulated recently to postmodernism, most notably ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    1 week ago
  • Time for a living wage for supermarket workers
    Since the lockdown began, we've all suddenly been reminded who the actually essential workers in our society are: not the people at the top who pay themselves the big bucks and rort the perks, but the people at the bottom they screw over and squeeze: cleaners, warehouse staff, truck drivers ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Hard News: MUSIC: Lockdown Grooves
    Kia ora! As I've watched nearly all my remaining work vanish over the past couple of days, it has occured to me that one good way to keep me away from arguing with fools on Twitter all the time (in the knowledge that all we're really doing is processing our ...
    1 week ago
  • A place of greater safety?
    Aotearoa New Zealand has committed to trying to extirpate the virus that causes COVID-19 from its shores. To do that, as a society we’ve moved to “Level 4”. That means adapting to unprecedented restrictions on our personal freedoms, particularly to our rights to move freely and associate with friends and ...
    PunditBy Andrew Geddis
    1 week ago
  • The police and public trust
    When the Prime Minister declared a state of emergency last week, she handed the police powers to enforce it. And almost immediately, we started hearing about heavy-handed, arbitrary "enforcement" by police who (at best) cared more about order than law, or (more likely) had no idea what the rules were ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Life in Lock Down: Day 4
    . . Lock Down: Day 4 – A photo essay with observations . March 29: Usual wake up routine as RNZ snaps on my radio-clock. Jim Mora’s voice slowly enters my conciousness; there’s talk of a second wave of covid19 taking hold in South Korea; the week in Parliament – ...
    Frankly SpeakingBy Frank Macskasy
    1 week ago
  • COVID-19 vs New Zealand
    Yesterday, New Zealand recorded its first Covid-19 related death on the West Coast. Unfortunately this is unlikely to be the only fatality, with the virus now being found in every region of the country.However despite the significant danger, people are still unfortunately breaching lockdown rules.There’s really only one main very ...
    1 week ago
  • 2020 SkS Weekly Climate Change & Global Warming Digest #13
    Story of the Week... Toon of the Week... Coming Soon on SkS... Climate Feedback Claim Review... SkS Week in Review... Poster of the Week... Story of the Week... ‘Misinformation kills’: The link between coronavirus conspiracies and climate denial   Grist / Rob Kim / Stringer / CSA Images  Scientific ...
    1 week ago
  • Rāhui day 4
    The kids did surprisingly well today – meltdown count was about 3, and mostly fairly short ones. (And a fourth while I was writing.) Game-wise I had a go at Fell Seal: Arbiter’s Mark. It’s a fairly standard RPG with turn-based combat and what they call a “mature storyline” (it ...
    The little pakehaBy chrismiller
    1 week ago
  • Letter to a friend
    by Don Franks Hi David, Nice hearing from you, I’m glad to hear you’re getting by okay in these grim times. You asked how’s it going for us back here in New Zealand. You would have heard that the whole country is locked down and with breaks for exercise and ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    1 week ago

  • NZ horticulture sector feeding Kiwis and the world during COVID-19
    More New Zealanders are taking up the chance to work in horticulture as the sector keeps New Zealanders fed and in jobs during the COVID-19 Alert Level 4 lockdown. “Our horticulture sector has long been one of New Zealand’s export star performers, contributing around $6 billion a year to our ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 hours ago
  • Work to repurpose PGF funds begins
    The Provincial Development Unit is working through applications and projects to see where Provincial Growth Fund money can be repurposed for initiatives deemed more critical to fighting the economic impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones says. “We need to be throwing everything we have at ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    21 hours ago
  • A million workers supported by Govt wage subsidy
    The Government’s wage subsidy to protect jobs and keep workers and businesses connected during the lockdown has now supported over a million New Zealanders, with $6.6 billion already paid out. “We’re supporting businesses to pay wages, and stay connected with their workers so that we are all in a better ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    22 hours ago
  • Government helps Pacific communities fight COVID
    The Government is stepping up efforts to help protect New Zealand’s Pacific communities in the fight against COVID-19. Cabinet has agreed that $17 million will be allocated to support a COVID-19 Pacific Response Package, which will: Support Pacific health and disability services facing increased demand; Ramp up public health messaging ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Statement from the Prime Minister on Dr David Clark
    “Yesterday evening the Health Minister advised me of his trip to a beach during the lockdown and offered his resignation,” Jacinda Ardern said.  “Under normal conditions I would sack the Minister of Health. What he did was wrong, and there are no excuses.  “But right now, my priority is our ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Statement from David Clark
    Last night as part of my preparation for the Epidemic Response Committee, I provided the Prime Minister with a complete picture of my activity outside my home during Alert Level 4.  That included the fact that on the first weekend of the Alert Level 4 lockdown I drove my family ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • COVID-19 mental health support begins
    A range of support is being rolled out across New Zealand to help people look after their mental health during COVID-19 Health Minister David Clark said this morning. “COVID-19 has brought a lot of uncertainty into our lives and many of us will be feeling some level of distress or ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • New Zealanders in Peru to be assisted by Government charter flight
    The New Zealand Government has made arrangements to charter a flight for New Zealanders stranded in Peru to depart the country, following agreement with the Chilean government to allow the necessary transit through Chile, Foreign Affairs Minister Winston Peters announced today. “Like many travellers around the world at the moment, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • COVID-19 Hospital Preparation Well Advanced
    Hospital preparations for COVID-19 are well advanced says Health Minister David Clark. “Hospitals across New Zealand are repurposing buildings and training staff to get ready for COVID-19 patients. This gives me confidence that we are well prepared for any potential increase in COVID-19 patients needing hospital level care,” said David ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Further measures to support businesses
    The Government will be introducing legislation to make changes to the Companies Act to help companies facing insolvency due to COVID-19 to remain viable and keep New Zealanders in jobs. The temporary changes include: Giving directors of companies facing significant liquidity problems because of COVID-19 a ‘safe harbour’ from insolvency ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Govt’s COVID plan, economic strength recognised
    The Government’s plan to cushion the blow of COVID-19 by supporting incomes, jobs and businesses, and position the economy to recover has been backed by another international report. International credit rating agency Moody’s today reaffirmed its highest Aaa credit rating on New Zealand, saying the economy is expected to remain ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Funding certainty for sports through COVID-19
    National sports organisations have been given certainty of funding to ensure they can remain viable through the COVID-19 pandemic, Sport and Recreation Minister Grant Robertson announced today. “The global spread of COVID-19 has had a significant impact on sport and recreation in New Zealand, including the cancellation or postponement of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Butchers now allowed to process pork
    Changes have been made to allow butchers to process pork, only for supply to supermarkets or other processors or retailers that are open, Agriculture Minister Damien O’Connor has announced. “We carefully weighed the risk of allowing butchers to open their shops for retail customers, but the risk of spreading COVID-19 ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Essential workers leave scheme established
    Essential workers who take leave from work to comply with public health guidance are being supported with a leave scheme to ensure they will continue to receive income, say the Minister of Workplace Relations and Safety Iain Lees-Galloway and Minister for Social Development, Carmel Sepuloni. A number of essential businesses ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Govt WhatsApp helps share COVID-19 information
    A Government WhatsApp channel has been launched to help make information more easily accessible and shareable in the fight against COVID-19. Govt.NZ, which is free to use on any mobile device, will carry information and news for the public, businesses, healthcare providers, not for profits and local government. It can ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Managed departure plan for stranded foreign nationals enables safe, orderly exit
    The Government has announced a plan to enable the safe, orderly exit of tens of thousands of stranded foreign nationals from New Zealand during the current COVID-19 Alert Level 4 restrictions, Deputy Prime Minister and Foreign Minister Winston Peters has said. “When we moved into lockdown a week ago, the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Government delivers COVID-19 support to GPs and Pharmacies
    Health Minister Dr David Clark says the Government is delivering on its commitment to support general practice doctors and nurses, and pharmacies on the front-line of our fight against COVID-19. "For us to overcome COVID-19, we need community health services such as general practice and community pharmacy to step up ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Susan Thomas the new Chief High Court Judge
    Justice Susan Thomas has been appointed Chief High Court Judge, Attorney-General David Parker announced today.  She replaces Justice Geoffrey Venning who has resigned from the position.   David Parker paid tribute to Justice Venning, who he said had stewarded the High Court very capably over the last five years.   “On behalf ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Business Finance Guarantee – applications open
    Businesses can start applying to their banks for loans under the Business Finance Guarantee Scheme set up to support the New Zealand economy during the COVID-19 pandemic. “We’re moving quickly to protect New Zealand businesses, jobs and the economy during this unprecedented global economic shock,” Finance Minister Grant Robertson said. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Work starts on ways to fast-track consents to boost recovery from Covid-19 downturn
    Work is underway looking at measures to speed up consents for development and infrastructure projects during the recovery from COVID 19, to provide jobs and stimulate our economy.  Environment Minister David Parker said the COVID-19 pandemic is a serious global crisis that will have a wide ranging and lasting impact ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Advance payments to support contractors
    Advance payments will be made to transport construction industry contractors to retain the workforce and ensure it is ready to quickly gear up to build projects which will be vital to New Zealand’s COVID-19 economic recovery, Transport Minister Phil Twyford announced today. He said keeping the workforce required to build ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Government seeks infrastructure projects
    The Government has tasked a group of industry leaders to seek out infrastructure projects that are ready to start as soon as the construction industry returns to normal to reduce the economic impact of the COVID-19 pandemic, Economic Development Minister Phil Twyford and Infrastructure Minister Shane Jones say. The Infrastructure ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Health system scaled up to prepare for COVID-19
    Work to scale up the health system in preparation for COVID-19 was today outlined by Health Minister David Clark, as he reported back to the new Epidemic Response Committee. “We are well placed to contain the spread of COVID-19. We have taken early and decisive action at our borders, and ...
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    1 week ago
  • Essential media COVID-19 guidelines refined
    The Government is refining its COVID-19 essential business guidance to include the distribution of news publications for communities which are hard to reach. The Minister of Broadcasting, Communications and Digital Media, Kris Faafoi, said the move was in recognition of the importance for New Zealanders who might be harder to ...
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    1 week ago
  • Supermarkets able to open on Easter Sunday
    The Government is ensuring supermarkets can open on Easter Sunday so we can buy groceries, but stay closed on Good Friday allowing workers to take a break. This provides a balanced approach and ensures we avoid large queues that two days closure may cause. “Supermarkets will be able to open ...
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    1 week ago
  • New Zealand defence personnel conclude mission at Taji
    Following the successful conclusion of the Building Partner Capacity (BPC) mission at Taji, New Zealand defence personnel are returning to New Zealand from Iraq, in accordance with the Cabinet decision made in June 2019, Foreign Affairs Minister Winston Peters and Defence Minister Ron Mark announced today. “New Zealand is very ...
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    1 week ago
  • State of National Emergency extended
    The State of National Emergency to help stop the spread of COVID-19 has been extended for a further seven days, Minister of Civil Defence Peeni Henare said. The initial declaration on March 25 lasted seven days and can be extended as many times as necessary. “Since we went into isolation ...
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    1 week ago
  • Strong Govt books support ‘go hard, go early’ response
    New Zealand’s ability to go hard and go early in the fight against COVID-19 has been underpinned by strong Government finances and the growing economy heading into this global pandemic, Finance Minister Grant Robertson says. The Treasury today released the Crown financial statements for the eight months to the end ...
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    1 week ago
  • Christchurch Hospital Hagley ICU to open to support COVID-19 response
    Health Minister Dr David Clark says 36 new intensive care beds at Christchurch Hospital’s new Hagley building are being fast tracked so they are available for treatment of COVID-19 patients.   The Ministry of Health is working with contractor CPB and Canterbury DHB to enable access to the hospital’s ICU, ...
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    1 week ago
  • Government supports Air NZ freight flights
    The Government has fast-tracked up to $1 million to help Air New Zealand move urgent freight to and from New Zealand, with the first flight to Shanghai leaving tonight, Transport Minister Phil Twyford announced today. Phil Twyford says it’s crucial that trade in vital goods such as medical supplies and ...
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    1 week ago
  • Tariff concessions on COVID-19 related products
    New Zealand will temporarily remove tariffs on all medical and hygiene imports needed for the COVID-19 response. Trade and Export Growth Minister David Parker and Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Kris Faafoi said today that the New Zealand Customs Service will apply tariff concessions to all diagnostic reagents and testing ...
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    2 weeks ago
  • Clarification of modification to wage subsidy scheme
    Minister of Finance Grant Robertson has clarified that the changes to the wage subsidy scheme announced yesterday mean that employers should be passing on the full subsidy to workers, except in the case where the person’s normal income is less than the level of the subsidy. “We still want employers ...
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    2 weeks ago
  • Face masks flowing to DHBs
    Medical face masks from the national reserve supply are now being distributed to District Health Boards, while at the same time local production is being ramped up. Yesterday more than 640,000 masks were sent to DHBS – that is an immediate two week supply, with more to follow in coming ...
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    2 weeks ago
  • COVID-19: Further steps to protect New Zealanders’ jobs
    The Government has made modifications to the wage subsidy scheme to ensure people don’t lose their jobs during the national lockdown. These changes will soften the impact of COVID-19 on workers, families and businesses, and position them to exit the lockdown and look to recovery, Finance Minister Grant Robertson says. ...
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    2 weeks ago
  • Tax relief for Mycoplasma Bovis farmers
    Farmers whose herds were culled in response to the outbreak of Mycoplasma bovis will be able to minimise the tax treatment of their income in some circumstances. Revenue Minister Stuart Nash says Cabinet has agreed to change the law. It means farmers may be eligible to spread their income over ...
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    2 weeks ago
  • $27 million for NGOs and community groups to continue providing essential services
    A $27 million dollar package, effective immediately, is being provided to social sector services and community groups to ensure they can continue to provide essential support to communities as we stay at home as a nation to stop the spread of COVID-19, Minister for Social Development Carmel Sepuloni announced. “At ...
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    2 weeks ago
  • Statement on guilty plea of March 15 terrorist
    “The guilty plea today will provide some relief to the many people whose lives were shattered by what happened on March 15,” Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern said. “These guilty pleas and conviction bring accountability for what happened and also save the families who lost loved ones, those who were injured, ...
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    2 weeks ago
  • COVID-19 updates
    The Prime Minister is holding daily press conferences to update New Zealanders on the Government's response to COVID-19. Links to videos and transcripts of these updates below. These transcripts also include All of Government press conferences led by Director Ministry of Health's Director-General of Health Dr Ashley Bloomfield. 25 March: Live update from the Prime ...
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    2 weeks ago
  • Police numbers break through 10,000 mark
    Frontline Police numbers have broken through the 10,000 mark for the first time in history as officers step forward to keep the community safe during the COVID19 lockdown. “Two Police graduations in Auckland and Wellington in the past week have been conducted in unprecedented circumstances,” Police Minister Stuart Nash said. ...
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    2 weeks ago
  • Urgent tax measures for economic recovery
    Urgent legislation has been passed to support the package of economic and social measures needed to recover from the impact of the coronavirus outbreak. “The COVID-19 Response (Taxation and Social Assistance Urgent Measures) Bill will cushion New Zealanders from the worst economic impacts of the COVID-19 outbreak,” said Revenue Minister ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago