web analytics

Caption competition

Written By: - Date published: 3:01 pm, June 19th, 2015 - 108 comments
Categories: caption contest - Tags:

Too easy…
smith-williamson-road

108 comments on “Caption competition ”

  1. Garth Biggs 1

    Yes, we could fit a couple of houses here.

  2. mike 2

    Cant find a railroad track ….but this will do.

  3. mac1 3

    Roads of National Insignificants.

  4. Charles 4

    Local men play chicken, find career as political roadkill.

  5. McFlock 5

    National Cycle Way defeats tory efforts to throw each other under the bus.

  6. Andre 6

    Roads of Nationals pig ignorance

  7. Tracey 7

    asphalt as insulation.. we can house people in car parks

  8. ianmac 8

    I am out-standing so I am able to lie down on the job.

  9. Charles 9

    “You see Maurice, all this talk of people living in the gutter, it’s actually quite comfortable”.

  10. Charles 10

    Fat reptile warms belly on hot road.

  11. Charles 11

    Progress on cycleway halted by incompetent obstruction.

  12. b waghorn 12

    You might die ,you say nick ? (Shrug) it happens

  13. David H 13

    When he stands up, just a little nudge

  14. ruup 14

    With apologies to Talking Heads….

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKqzayNo4Dk

  15. NZSage 15

    Nick was the Housing Minister but he still liked his asphelt.

  16. Check it out … two moons!

  17. Incognito 17

    National MPs lose their footing.

  18. McFlock 18

    No fluoro, no cones, no signs, no speed restrictions… lucky they have their backs to the traffic, otherwise a driver would have had a plausible defense for a lack of impulse control. But then the folk most abused by this government can’t afford to fill the tank.

  19. Incognito 19

    Minister’s pride hurt in attempted hit & run.

    “Did you get his number, Maurice?”

    “No, but he was Smiling and taking a selfie.”

  20. McFlock 20

    Police look on from a distance as two idiots obstruct a public roadway.
    They should have been fined like the port hills cyclist.

  21. JanM 21

    Proving we’re untouchable

  22. Jeremy 22

    “Bit further mate, I’m right behind you”

  23. Smilin 23

    From here Nick and in my experience your head could really roll along way

  24. peterh 24

    When John says lie you do it

  25. Augustus 25

    See, no worries. The whole country is failing to keep left at crucial times.

  26. McFlock 26

    Tory chicken: who is willing to move farthest to their right?

    edit lolsnap augustus

  27. joe90 27

    Hit the road Nick and don’t you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.

  28. risildowgtn 28

    We are really hard men! compared to that grass loving hippy Colin Craig

  29. Neil 29

    Nick & Maurice try to commit suicide, because of bullying by journalists.

  30. Clemgeopin 30

    Key thinks we are two idiots and nincompoops. We want to show him that we are not! not! not! not! not! not! Not even! Nah, nah, nah, nah!

  31. CnrJoe 31

    NAAAAAAAAAaaaaahMORRICE..I fuckjn GOT this one *hic.. no worries …wares mi fxfkjn keys …oh ahhh …this is nice. ..jst lemme hav a wee kip..mmmm *mumble mumble ….

    Oh choice ..heres comes P.Ms limo.. this is gonna be choice … Look up Nicky … Look up.. wave wave …just lift yr fuckin arm a bit .. ah fuck……look Don’t Move..
    .. Hey ! Hi there John! Oh… Nick? Yeah.. I Know… I Know.. look.. if theres Anything I can…call tomorrow? Oh look… Anytime… yep.. I’ll be around …See you!……s’o.k Nicky.. all coochy… num nums… mmm sleepy bye baby…

  32. Clemgeopin 32

    “Hey Mau, can you touch that colourful big rainbow up there?”
    “No Ni, just your beautiful tiny bum down here, love!”

  33. maui 33

    Transport Minister Smith has just closed all cycleways and made them into person rolling lanes. This is based on new research that people side rolling can transport greater numbers than traditional empty cycle lanes.

  34. the pigman 34

    Conservative Party Leadership Hopefuls Roadshow destroys “Big Gay Rainbow”.

    or

    Roadway tries desperately to distance itself from undesirable pedestrians.

  35. Paul Campbell 35

    You know if you’re going to throw someone under a bus maybe the cycle lane is not quite the right place to do it

  36. Potato 36

    Maurice; ” Nick, I’m not sure this is what the PM meant when he told us to lie about the roads”.

  37. mac1 37

    Maurice: There were a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road.

    Nick: Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o’clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues.

    Maurice: Aye, and they think they know about social housing crisis!

  38. Chris Ford 38

    Maurice to Nick: “The Prime Minister said that you should follow my example and fall down on the job.”

  39. john 39

    watch this road get destroyed in seconds , everything i touch stuffs up.

  40. Stuart Munro 40

    Never mind the width Mr Liu, feel the quality!

  41. R Harris 41

    Just a bit further to your right, guys…

  42. R Harris 42

    Nick Smith & Maurice Williamson discuss proposal to privatise roading system.

  43. Richard@Down South 43

    Nick Smith hopes for Suicide by Cyclist, rather than face Judith Collins as PM

  44. Michael Smythe 44

    Incompetent Nats turn night on the tiles into morning on the asphalt

  45. JAG 45

    Goodbye porky pies

  46. Latest reality show – come lie with me – “it’s like a mash up of the odd couple and dancing with the stars with a bit of building renovation all mixed with healthy doses of Game of Thrones humour” says Nick. Maurice agrees, “Yeah, nah, yeah – this show makes breaking bad look like breaking pretty good – Nick and I are fucken all over it yo.

  47. Chrys Berryman 47

    …..Forest and Bird release photographic proof that national pests are on the increase and advice that road users can reduce this threat to N.Z by turning them into roadkill

  48. greywarshark 48

    What’s wrong with being a roadie? I had to be resilient while I was young. (Damn someone else, mac1, has beaten me to the Monty Python touch! But mine has extras! I’ve put in the link so you can see facsmiles of our pollies at a National Party planning session for the social standards of our society.)

    Well we had it tough…There were a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road. ..We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o’clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues.

  49. Julz Clark 49

    “Just a little further left Nick and that should provide me with an opening…….”

  50. Kate 50

    “…and the bedroom would be here…what a view to wake up to….”

  51. JAG 51

    M.W. born 1951, N.S. born 1964………Crouching Rabbit, Lying Dragon.

  52. Ffloyd 52

    No comment, but what are they actually doing??

  53. Dav8d 53

    Why did the politicians crawl cross the road?

    Who cares. Just let them carry on

  54. Nordy 54

    Two numpties trying out for NZs version of ‘pimp my ride’

  55. Darryl Ward 55

    Sea level should be about here in ten years.

  56. cogito 56

    Smith: “you see folks, tourist drivers aren’t as bad as you say they are or I would have been hit by now.”

  57. debbie servant 57

    Ta for the memories new zealand

  58. “No, no….I can see the boundary peg…. definitely Crown land!”

  59. KJT 59

    “Quick. Catch that last Kiwi, we have nothing else left to sell”.

  60. Atiawa 60

    ” You try it first Smithy “

  61. repateet 61

    Why don’t we do it in the road? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KM02WcvlKn0

  62. repateet 62

    Housing Minister crosses the line to new low.

  63. repateet 63

    Old Morrie nicked on busy road.

  64. repateet 64

    Cycle lane becomes psycho lain.

  65. repateet 65

    Minister of Environment rescues Tar Seal.

  66. repateet 66

    Williamson happy to be to the left of Smith and not as low.

  67. greywarshark 67

    @ repateet
    Best collection of captions I have seen.

  68. Chooky 68

    possum anyone?…where is the sheep truck?

  69. rod 69

    Come on Nick, this is not the best place to play marbles. You are losing yours down the drain.

  70. Ecosse_Maidy 70

    National test, speed calming measures….

  71. Ecosse_Maidy 71

    Seriously,,,do we have to get this low to look up Paulas skirt?

  72. Ecosse_Maidy 72

    National trials new speed bumps…Guaranteed to attract the fastest of drivers.

  73. Ecosse_Maidy 73

    National Mps, backbones, give way at the most inconvenient time

  74. Ecosse_Maidy 74

    Ok Maurice give it a few years of evolution, and apparently we get to walk upright……

  75. Ecosse_Maidy 75

    Ok, Maurice i may be going all out for this PR shoot yet get yr hand out of my arse!

  76. Ecosse_Maidy 76

    Couple in passing car…..Hey babe did you see that,,,,,two shits trying to hide potholes!!!

  77. Ecosse_Maidy 77

    You see all this hard shoulder Maurice?
    Soon it will be all mine to build houses on,,,all mine and stuff the Maoris…Mine i say.

  78. Ecosse_Maidy 78

    Now if we build them slim I think wed be able to get at least a few thousand units along this side of the road…and with sea views!!!!!

  79. Ecosse_Maidy 79

    Maurice has anyone ever told you, you bear bear more than a passing resemble to discredited Rolf Harris? No I cant guess what it is yet Maurice!

  80. Ecosse_Maidy 80

    Stay perfectly still Maurice,,,,look at the camera, say nothing,,,,and perhaps they will never twig my legs seem to have grown to an inhuman size….

    Must be our lizard genes!!!

  81. Ecosse_Maidy 81

    Phew safe……..at last…..stuff…the rest of them in the floods…

  82. Ecosse_Maidy 82

    Maurice you pick the oddest place to propose!

  83. Ecosse_Maidy 83

    Shit its the press..Right maurice act naturally…
    Tell you what I’m going to get the bugger that super glued my hand to this road.

  84. Ecosse_Maidy 84

    After huge criticism over the Christchurch re building affair….National unveil their state of the art, earthquake detection unit

    I knew this hand would come in handy…

  85. Potato 85

    Meanwhile, the assassin sat in a hired 4wd and smiled as he fondled the ponytail that was part of his disguise. He thought of how much easier his job would be without those two troublemakers. Patiently he waited for the passing station wagon to turn the bend and pass out of sight. Then he set his foot down on the accelerator as hard as he could….

  86. Sean 86

    yep, cant see any railway here now. We have done a good job we have at destroying our rail network and making sure that we build more roads and pollute our environment with carbon minoxide emissions from trucks and cars sobthe oeople will be stuffed in the head to vote and this way we stay in power with our corruption.

  87. Darren Smith 87

    I’ll be the damsel in distress and you can be the hunky corporate banker about to Roger Douglas me!!

  88. Clemgeopin 88

    Q : why did these two pollies lie on the road?
    A : Because they are habitual liars. They do that everywhere!

  89. mac1 89

    White Line Fever.

  90. Stuart Munro 90

    It’s all a part of the cycle of life. These vermin are on the road to becoming roadkill.

  91. Clemgeopin 91

    Somewhere in Pakuranga…..

    ‘ Darling Mauri my love, do you think I can get away with putting up some houses inside these two lines?’

    ‘Sure Smithy my sweetie. Whatever you want! I will go all the way with you my dear’

  92. Its the end of the road for me Maurice!

  93. I can foresee a lot of people pulling out a lot of their catch lines out from storage for this one. Whatever it is, seems like we can’t seem to find a solution to whom to award the best tagline to yet! Haha!

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Tokelau Language Week reminds us to stay united and strong
    Staying strong in the face of challenges and being true to our heritage and languages are key to preserving our cultural identity and wellbeing, is the focus of the 2020 Tokelau Language Week. Minister for Pacific Peoples, Aupito William Sio, says this year’s theme, ‘Apoapo tau foe, i nā tāfea ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • NZ announces a third P-3 deployment in support of UN sanctions
    The Government has deployed a Royal New Zealand Air Force P-3K2 Orion (P-3) maritime patrol aircraft to support the implementation of United Nations Security Council (UNSC) resolutions imposing sanctions against North Korea, announced Minister of Foreign Affairs Winston Peters and Minister of Defence Ron Mark. “New Zealand has long supported ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Pacific trade and development agreement a reality
    Pacific regional trade and development agreement PACER Plus will enter into force in 60 days now that the required eight countries have ratified it. Trade and Export Growth Minister David Parker welcomed the announcement that the Cook Islands is the eighth nation to ratify this landmark agreement. “The agreement represents ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Securing a pipeline of teachers
    The Government is changing its approach to teacher recruitment as COVID-19 travel restrictions continue, by boosting a range of initiatives to get more Kiwis into teaching. “When we came into Government, we were faced with a teacher supply crisis,” Education Minister Chris Hipkins said. “Over the past three years, we ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Border exceptions for a small number of international students with visas
    The Government has established a new category that will allow 250 international PhD and postgraduate students to enter New Zealand and continue their studies, in the latest set of border exceptions. “The health, safety and wellbeing of people in New Zealand remains the Government’s top priority. Tight border restrictions remain ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • First COVID-19 vaccine purchase agreement signed
    The Government has signed an agreement to purchase 1.5 million COVID-19 vaccines – enough for 750,000 people – from Pfizer and BioNTech, subject to the vaccine successfully completing all clinical trials and passing regulatory approvals in New Zealand, say Research, Science and Innovation Minister Megan Woods and Health Minister Chris Hipkins. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • International statement – End-to-end encryption and public safety
    We, the undersigned, support strong encryption, which plays a crucial role in protecting personal data, privacy, intellectual property, trade secrets and cyber security.  It also serves a vital purpose in repressive states to protect journalists, human rights defenders and other vulnerable people, as stated in the 2017 resolution of the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Ministry of Defence Biodefence Assessment released
    The Ministry of Defence has today released a Defence Assessment examining Defence’s role across the spectrum of biological hazards and threats facing New Zealand. Biodefence: Preparing for a New Era of Biological Hazards and Threats looks at how the NZDF supports other agencies’ biodefence activities, and considers the context of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New Approaches to Economic Challenges: Confronting Planetary Emergencies: OECD 9 October 2020
    New Approaches to Economic Challenges: Confronting Planetary Emergencies: OECD 9 October 2020 Hon David Parker’s response following Thomas Piketty and Esther Duflo. Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, wherever in the world you might be. I first acknowledge the excellent thought provoking speeches of Thomas Piketty and Esther ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Kaipara Moana restoration takes next step
    A Memorandum of Understanding has been signed today at Waihāua Marae between the Crown, local iwi and councils to protect, restore and enhance the mauri of Kaipara Moana in Northland. Environment Minister David Parker signed the document on behalf of the Crown along with representatives from Ngā Maunga Whakahī, Ngāti ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • New Zealand and Uruguay unite on reducing livestock production emissions
    Agriculture Minister Damien O’Connor and Uruguayan Minister of Livestock, Agriculture and Fisheries Carlos María Uriarte have welcomed the launch of a three-year project that will underpin sustainable livestock production in Uruguay, Argentina, and Costa Rica.  The project called ‘Innovation for pasture management’ is led by Uruguay’s National Institute of Agricultural ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • 3100 jobs created through marae upgrades
    Hundreds of marae throughout the country will be upgraded through investments from the Provincial Growth Fund’s refocused post COVID-19 funding to create jobs and put money into the pockets of local tradespeople and businesses, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones and Māori Development Minister Nanaia Mahuta have announced. “A total ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Health volunteers recognised in annual awards
    Health Minister Chris Hipkins has announced 9 teams and 14 individuals are the recipients of this year’s Minister of Health Volunteer Awards.  “The health volunteer awards celebrate and recognise the thousands of dedicated health sector volunteers who give many hours of their time to help other New Zealanders,” Mr Hipkins ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Community COVID-19 Fund supports Pacific recovery
    The Minister for Pacific Peoples, Aupito William Sio says a total of 264 groups and individuals have successfully applied for the Pacific Aotearoa Community COVID-19 Recovery Fund, that will support Pacific communities drive their own COVID-19 recovery strategies, initiatives, and actions. “I am keen to see this Fund support Pacific ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Community benefits from Māori apprenticeships
    Up to 50 Māori apprentices in Wellington will receive paid training to build houses for their local communities, thanks to a $2.75 million investment from the Māori Trades and Training Fund, announced Employment Minister Willie Jackson today. “This funding will enable Ngāti Toa Rangatira Incorporated to provide its Ngā Kaimahi ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Training fund supports Māori jobseekers
    Rapidly growing sectors will benefit from a $990,000 Māori Trades and Training Fund investment which will see Wellington jobseekers supported into work, announced Employment Minister Willie Jackson today. “This funding will enable Sapphire Consultants Ltd. to help up to 45 Māori jobseekers into paid training initiatives over two years through ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago