Economic cycle

Written By: - Date published: 10:52 am, August 20th, 2011 - 24 comments
Categories: cycleway, open mike, unemployment - Tags: ,

Prime Minister John Key has reacted to growing fears that the world is slipping into a second round of financial crisis and recession before it has recovered from the first one by boldly opening a 180km cycleway through the King Country. Part of a $50m cycleway project, it is expected to boost the economy by $5 to $20 quadrillion, according to the PM.

The ‘national cycleway’ project is part of a ‘rolling maul’ of initiatives that the Prime Minister announced in response to the first round of recession after it was already over. Other initiatives included … um, oh, … that one where they paid $30,000 for a single pumpkin to be grown, and that finance hub thingy that is still just around the corner… oh yeah, and pandas, economy reviving pandas! Are they still coming?

Together, these measures have succeeded in reducing the number of Kiwis out of work from a staggering 188,500 when the recession officially ended to just 251,000 today.

“Fun fact,” said Mr Key “If all 58,000 young people not in employment, education, or training lay end to end with their arms stretched out above the heads, you could cover over two thirds of the length of the cycleway in wasted young lives! But if you only count those on the unemployment benefit, like I do, then they would reach only about 30km!”

84,000 New Zealanders could not be reached for comment because they have emigrated to Australia since the cycleway project was announced.

24 comments on “Economic cycle”

  1. Bored 1

    Thanks Zet, in all respects that f***ker Key has not delivered. Wheres our feckin cyclewway Key, dont you know how the real world of production actually happens yoy useless bankster?

  2. Afewknowthetruth 2

    The cycleway is clearly in preparation for the time when most NZers will not have motorised transport because they won’t be able to afford it and because NZ will not be able to buy oil on the international market. Indeed, there won’t be an international market.

    Key is onto it after all.

  3. mik e 3

    Thats after he sells of Air NEW ZEALAND when the next bout of oil price hikes kills off cheap airfares there will be no tourists in any numbers coming to this part of the world to use these cycleways so like the bootcamps the card etc $300million 300permanent jobs efficiency from the right wing rationalists.

  4. jackal 4

    I propose we amend the RMA to ensure that all John Key’s bullshit no longer pollutes peoples minds.

    • Cin77 4.1

      I don’t think the stains will go away. Not sure there’s brain bleach strong enough.

  5. ghostwhowalksnz 5

    A bicycle led recovery – at last something that will be Keys legacy

    But to make sure its followed through, this should be de rigeur for our nations elite

  6. deservingpoor 6

    The sun’ll come out, tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there’ll be sunshine.

  7. Deb 7

    For those of us that actually follow the cycleway, the speed of the rollout is inspiring. Maybe some of you might like to off-couch and get down to the National Park and try the new 180km track, officially opened this morning.

    This is all good, and as tourism picks up it will bring export dollars into our economy, provide a boost to businesses, and create jobs in communities near the trails.

    Pity that the left can’t be less partisan about this.

    • Colonial Viper 7.1

      Pity that the left can’t be less partisan about this.

      Jobs Deb, what % reduction in the unemployment rate did the cycleways project deliver?

      Or was the main purpose headlines to smile and wave to?

      Pity the right can’t focus on things which matter to hundreds of thousands of ordinary (unemployed and minimum wage) New Zealanders.

    • Debs, “partisan” doesn’t even come close to it.

      As a job-creation programme programme, it is a joke. And not a particularly funny one at that. The cycleway project didn’t even deliver what it was promised If you doubt me, here, have a look at the “Dominion Post” (well known Left Wing newspaper owned by socialist Fairfax Media Group);

      A $5 million government fund to employ young workers on cycleway projects has quietly been shelved after delivering just a quarter of the jobs envisaged.

      Prime Minister John Key and Social Development Minister Paula Bennett announced the $5.3m package as part of a larger programme of youth employment schemes at the National Party conference last year.

      It was to subsidise an estimated 500 youth working on the Government’s cycleway project, paying them the minimum wage for up to 30 hours a week.

      However, Budget documents just made public show it was dismantled before this year’s Budget because only $800,000 was spent and just 123 youth were employed under it.

      The unspent $4.5m was siphoned off to boost another jobs subsidy programme for youth – Job Ops, which gives employers $5000 for each 16 to 24-year-old they take on for at least six months.


      So not only do we NOT have jobs for young people – but now we have National ‘gunning’ for 16 and 17 year old beneficiaries. Because as we all know, welfare beneficiaries here in New Zealand are directly responsible for the Banking Crisis that began in wall St, USA, and sparked the global recession.

      Damn, these beneficiaries have more clout than I ever imagined!!

      And do beneficiaries really,. really, REALLY, want jobs? Well, shucks, just check this out:

      Notice that the NUMBER of unemployed are GREATER than the NUMBER of job vacancies?!

      Yeah, I noticed that as well.

    • RedLogix 7.3

      Well you do have half a point Deb.

      When the cycleway project was first announced most authors and commenters here were pretty positive about the cycleway itself, while pretty cynical about Key’s claimed benefits for it. This cycleway has been around a couple of years now and it’s got a lot of history here at The Standard you may not have read.

      I’ll fully back you on the cycleway itself. Hell I rode around the SI as a young lad of 18 way before such a thing was fashionable. Three months on the road and saw only one other person touring!! These days you’d see that many before breakfast. So yes I do see the huge potential for the scheme in the long run. (Although that thought is tempered by other concerns for the overall viability of tourism in this country. You cannot after all cycle to NZ and if visitors can’t afford to get here, a cycleway will be worthless.)

      But if Key had been serious about the idea as a genuine employment scheme, we would have seen ten times as much cycleway, and other spin-offs, built by now. If he had just said something like, “As Minister of Tourism I’m going to put up this govt money as an investment into the industry” I would have got it. But that isn’t how Key pitched it.

    • Carol 7.4

      I’d like more cycleways near home for my daily journeys. Much more useful, IMO. Who has the time to go down for a cycle on the tourist cycleway?

    • Draco T Bastard 7.5

      as tourism picks up

      Peak Oil. tourism isn’t likely to pick up or, at the very least, be sustainable.

      • seanmaitland 7.5.1

        lol, and on that note scientology is 100% real – take your fucking tinfoil hat off man and wake up.

        • Ianupnorth

          Debs, I am a cyclist; we have a far few cycling gems already, the Otago rail trail, the best mountain bike tracks in the world in Rotorua, relatively quiet rural roads 9shame about the fuck wit drivers though). We didn’t actually NEED a cycle way, we needed better publicity.
          We also needed proper jobs and proper training, neither of which have appeared. I don’t call that very partisan.

        • Draco T Bastard

          What has reality(Peak Oil) got to do with fantasy(religion)?

          Unlike you delusional RWNJs, I’ve been awake for some time.

  8. The current generation have a short attention span, so I prefer to make my message in “visuals”;

    It was fun doing it.

    And I’ll be putting a few more together.

  9. Oligarkey 9

    I think that this is probably all part of the occultist kabbalah prophecy that John Key signed on to whilst in the world of New York banking. Peak oil and further financial collapse will decrease economic activity and all the while we’ve got Mr multi-millionaire Key twiddling his thumbs, waiting for society to fall apart.

  10. Adrian 10

    Have you missed the fact that this is not a new cycleway, it is just existing ( mostly ) paved roads that have had some signs stuck on it and a TV crew invited. What a load of bullshit, smoke, mirrors and spin. Typical lying Key.

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