I can see South Auckland from my house! An interview with Melissa Lee

Written By: - Date published: 5:44 pm, May 14th, 2009 - 16 comments
Categories: auckland supercity, humour, national - Tags: , , , , , , ,

mellisa-lee-3Did your company use NZ On Air money to produce a National Party promotional video?

Look, I didn’t keep records of who was working on what when and it doesn’t work like that the only people who have a problem are disgruntled employees but they were volunteers and we were having fun so it doesn’t need to be declared as a campaign expense you should ask the National Party about that I’m not interested in petty politicking. I have a blue car and haircut and I’ve worked very hard so people should be rewarded for working hard and you can’t take that away from them, what’s your problem?

Is Asia Downunder a genuinely public service program or did you use your influence to manipulate the editorial content?

Look, we have been proud to receive $1.2M of funding this year and we have received funding for the past 13 years which shows there obviously is nothing wrong with it I don’t use my job to influence anyone I’m not interested in playing politics all our staff are volunteers doing this sort of thing in their own time and they enjoy the opportunity to practice NZ On Air gets great value for money from it’s $1.2M that would only go to people with their snouts in the trough ripping off the system anyway. I had nothing to do with anything even when I was looking over the editors’ shoulder because I have no say I have no control, no control over anything I’m too busy to run my company and that’s just political because we deserve to be funded it’s good value for money and it’s just fun. John Key is a great leader.

Why did you apologize for your comments about people from South Auckland, were you forced to?

Look, I was just saying what a policeman said to me I can see south Auckland from my house so I know what I’m talking about I’ve been here a lot longer than some of the other candidates so yeah that’s true but I think you have to move forward and not hold on to the past and I feel for those people who are going to lose their houses but only poor people are criminals so if they’ve done nothing wrong they have nothing to fear.

What’s your view on the National Cycleway project?

The cycleway will help funnel criminals away from the good people’s homes and away into the country where nobody lives everyone knows criminals are lazy so they won’t use the cycleway but policemen on bikes will be able to get to the criminals quicker if the cycleway goes straight to jail even better we all win, except the criminals, but that’s good for the environment too. The Supercity will make it easier for everyone to exercise which they should even if they are lazy. Exercise is good for everyone how can anyone argue against that? If you don’t excercise then the gangs have won.

 

hattip: sparky

16 comments on “I can see South Auckland from my house! An interview with Melissa Lee ”

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  1. felix 1
    14 May 2009 at 5:48 pm

    Has anyone ever seen gingercrush and Melissa in the same room?

    • gingercrush 1.1
      14 May 2009 at 8:23 pm

      Bit obsessive eh?

      • felix 1.1.1
        15 May 2009 at 1:15 am

        Yeah, everyone who makes fun of you is obsessed with you, moron.

        • gingercrush 1.1.1.1
          15 May 2009 at 9:07 am

          Yeah well you do have a habit of mentioning my name a few times. I find it pathetic. Make fun of me all you want. I really don’t give a shit. It just makes you look like an obsessive idiot.

  2. Jones 2
    14 May 2009 at 6:26 pm

    When it comes to electioneering its important that we curb our real feelings to reach the middle NZ voter.

  3. Tim Ellis 3
    14 May 2009 at 6:42 pm

    That is quite funny.

  4. deemac 4
    14 May 2009 at 7:41 pm

    what does she care? win or lose she’s still an MP…
    what an insult to the voters!

  5. inpassing 5
    14 May 2009 at 9:03 pm

    You naughty sprout, you!

    The above would have to be the diatribe version of the written-for-thestandard-blog interview.. those darned pedallers have still gotten me all cracked up.. 🙂

  6. Artie S 6
    14 May 2009 at 10:27 pm

    The criminals apparently used to chug across to Mt Albert using roads like Mt Albert Road? Now they will apparently jump on the motorway, and bypass Mt Albert and Waterview, join the Northwestern Motorway, bypass Te Atatu, Henderson, and then …

  7. grumpy 7
    15 May 2009 at 9:24 am

    Clearly the standout candidate so far has been Russel Norman. While Labour are attacking Lee, they both finish up looking bad letting Norman build up enough support to split the left and get Lee through.

    This is a cunning strategy by the Greens to become the natural leader of “the left”.

    Labour is quickly becoming just a reationary party run by Gays/Lesbians with a complete detachment from real working families.

  8. Uroskin 8
    15 May 2009 at 10:23 am

    I have actually met Melissa Lee at a BBQ, and it’s uncanny how that interview sounds just like she talks!
    Congratulations on the marvellous parody.

    • the sprout 8.1
      15 May 2009 at 2:06 pm

      thanks uro.
      i just listened to 10 minutes of talkback, wrote a stream of consciousness, randomized the sentence order and started each response with ‘Look” – it was pretty easy, took no thought at all.

      • Nih 8.1.1
        16 May 2009 at 10:20 am

        Sprout, have you considered standing for National in Mount Albert? As long as you can hide any intelligence or talent, you’ll do fine.

  9. Rodel 9
    18 May 2009 at 7:01 pm

    Melissa Lee
    Change the name to Melissa Look. She used the Crosby textor -John Key word “Look” 13 times in one Morning Report interview with Sean Plunket (17th April) .

    When she was really cornered she said, “Look..look…look..look… look!”(Yeah 5 times). Tony Ryall overuses it robotically.Paula tries to use “Look!” but she never says anything sensible as a follow up.

    Sometimes John uses, “Well” and “you know” but theyre just old Espiner sayings and nowhere near as effective as “look!” used to be. John must be getting pissed off at everyone using his favourite linguistic distractor. .He probably paid C-T a lot of money for that strategy and all his dull mates are stealing it from him.

    Count them … it’s fun!

  10. Rodel 10
    18 May 2009 at 8:05 pm

    I like the Palinisation of Melissa Lee. Pretty face- empty celebrity head. Good match for John.