It must have been on Planet Key

Written By: - Date published: 8:50 pm, May 12th, 2016 - 59 comments
Categories: don brash, helen clark, john key, national - Tags:

No doubt someone will accuse me of suffering from Key Derangement Syndrome.  But something he said today is rather odd.  He was asked about his being thrown out of Parliament yesterday and chatted about a previous occasion.  From Stuff:

Funnily enough Helen Clark got thrown out. One time she got thrown out, I got thrown out after her, because Margaret Wilson threw her out. And then I think Margaret Wilson thought ‘ooh I’ve thrown the boss out, I better even things out’.

“So she just threw me out, I hadn’t done anything that day. I think I just breathed and I got my marching orders.”

The only problem is that Hansard never forgets.  On June 21, 2005 Hansard records this particular event during question 3:

Madam SPEAKER: Would the member please sit down; I have not finished. Those rules, I am afraid, do apply to everyone. So I am sorry I will have to ask the Prime Minister to leave.

Rt Hon Helen Clark withdrew from the Chamber.

Then during question 10 this event is recorded:

Madam SPEAKER: I am afraid the Standing Orders do have to be applied equally, so, I guess, they will be applied equally. I ask the member to please withdraw.

Dr Don Brash withdrew from the Chamber.

There is no sign of John Key being excluded that day.  This is the only time I can find when Helen Clark was excluded.

And there is another odd occurrence.  Key initially claimed it was the first time he has been thrown out.

But Hansard records four occasions.

I know this is a bit picky but shouldn’t the Prime Minister be on top of the detail?

59 comments on “It must have been on Planet Key”

  1. stunnedmullet 1

    Key is an utter arsewipe MS, best not to try and think about what he says to hard lest you give yourself a brain tumour

  2. Sacha 2

    The guy confuses himself with previous Nat leaders cos he has such little sense of self. Poor sociopath. Poor us.

  3. One Anonymous Bloke 3

    Bored. Inattentive. Too busy.

    Tire him out.

  4. Gabby 4

    He was wearing his Brash Hat.

  5. Kiwiri 5

    A bullshitter all the way!

  6. Whateva next? 6

    It’s not an unknown phenomena to assimilate something that happens to some one else and believe it was your own experience.I would however, expect the PM to at least try and get the facts right and check before, after all it’s pretty simple.
    Perhaps he is getting sloppy because he just doesn’t care anymore?

  7. The guy would pull any stunt – any – to take the heat off the Panama Papers and enabling NZ to become a tax haven under his watch.

    Its time the Left got a bit of mongrel and wised up to tricks – and woke up and smelt the coffee. Keys been doing this sort of ‘ Look over there’ B.S act for nearly 8 years now. Are the Left slow learners or something ?

  8. fender 8

    This is a perfect example of why it’s near impossible to believe him when he’s adamant he told Todd McClay that the lobbyist was his personal lawyer, or any of the other times where he’s certain he has things straight.

  9. Jenny Kirk 9

    Ta, Micky Savage – even if the MSM don’t show him up, for the shonky guy he is, YOU do !

  10. Anne 10

    Yesterday evening one of the online news outlets replayed the occasion when Clark and Brash were sent from the Debating Chamber. (Can’t be bothered hunting for it but maybe someone else would like to 😉 )

    Compared to yesterday’s outburst of sneering and jeering from John Key it appeared to be a calm and sedate process. Neither Clark nor Brash had committed a serious breach and both quietly removed themselves with none of the puerile and gleeful grinning we saw from this apology of a prime minister.

  11. b waghorn 11

    The problem is most will believe his version , its no mistake from key and the press will do fuck all.
    I’m glad you pointed it out , their is footage I’ve seen in the last day of brash talking about him and Clarke getting sent out.

  12. Kevin 12

    All those Auckland instant real estate millionaires hang on every word he says, so the fact he is lying is irrelevant.

  13. John shears 13

    Thanks MS, that’s put the records straight which is very important when we have a PM who seems to be living in some sort of fantasy land where he either forgets when it suits him or makes it up to gain attention and grins at the same time.
    Diversion tactics to try to confuse the situation?.

    • The pony tail puller must have been pissing himself silly every night in the shower until Crosby Textor advised him to show a bit of bad boy and get himself thrown out of parliament to divert attention away from the focus of NZ becoming a literal tax haven under his watch.

      From the same guy who’s a shareholder in the Bank of America – the same bank that was done for money laundering so I hear… is that where the cash came from to buy the rich’s votes and give them tax cuts while simultaneously denying funding for our social services?

  14. seeker 14

    Here’s the incident that key misremembers. It IS Don Brash that leaves after Helen ,not key.

    It was 2005.

    I am beginning to believe that key is losing a serious number of marbles just lately.

  15. McFlock 15

    I love this: Key claimed to have been kicked out of the House on a specific previous occasion. His office says he hadn’t been kicked out before.

    Both are lying. Seriously, the odds in favour of one of them telling the truth by accident are massive, yet they still manage to avoid it!

  16. Lanthanide 16

    Yeah, I was pretty sure Key had been thrown out at least once when he was an MP. I’m both surprised and not surprised that it was actually 4 times.

  17. Gruntie 17

    Why is the Herald, Paul Henry or seven shite not reporting these facts?

    • TC 17.1

      Thats not their role, they are nact echo chambers, but you already know that.

    • Bob 17.2

      No-one has sent them a press release to copy and paste. You have to remember, we have repeaters in NZ now, not reporters.

      Both left and right will claim MSM is biased, completely missing the fact it depends on whose press release they are repeating.

      IMO this is the exact type of thing the left should be attacking, simple, clearly quantifiable, no room for misinterpreting, lies.
      This cuts the character of the man and removes any room for spin.

  18. Grant 18

    I think it was a jack up that served two purposes. Key wasn’t handling the debate/questions very well. Public perception is changing and his Mickey Mouse (apologies to Disney) side show approach is wearing pretty thin now. Getting him out of the chamber took the heat off him! Now Carter can say to Winnie he doesn’t have any bias, look, I just threw the boss out! It was a jack up for sure.

    • Lanthanide 18.1

      I don’t really see that as plausible.

      If his performance in the behaviour is a concern, then surely purposefully being ejected from the chamber is a very risky gamble? It could easily backfire and make people think worse of you.

      • Pat 18.1.1

        ‘It could easily backfire and make people think worse of you.”

        pardon?…this is parliament we are talking about, not respectable used car salesmen.

  19. Sabine 19

    you know, once you have been thrown out of Parliament you stop counting

    speschiallie if you were the PM’s hat.

    • whateva next? 19.1

      He thinks he’s “cool” for being thrown out, like a 16 yr old boy in class.

  20. Doug Mackie 20

    Didn’t Ronnie Raygun have problems conflating what he’d done in real life with what characters he had portrayed as an actor had “done”?

    • Paul Campbell 20.1

      yes, but he was suffering from early alzheimer’s – it may be that Key is suffering from a similar condition, unlike the US we don’t have a way to impeach a PM (or MP) who cannot do the job

      • Anno1701 20.1.1

        “yes, but he was suffering from early alzheimer’s” scary considering he had his finger on the nuclear trigger !

  21. save nz 21

    Sounds like John Key’s memory is as sound as Hilary Clinton when she though she had experienced gun fire in Iraq…. but later when the footage emerged it turned out she had “mis spoke”.

    Although John Key is in a league of his own with his ego and constant references to much more ethical and respected Kiwis.

    Even Don Brash can spot a tax haven!

    Maybe time to get a mental health check on the PM, before his dementia and compulsive lying drags our country through more mud.

  22. Nessalt 22

    oooooooohhhhhhhh, you got him. finally something you can actually pin on him!

    pity no one without KDS cares.

    • Gangnam Style 22.1

      Its a bit strange dontcha think?

    • North 22.2

      Whistling in the dark there Nessalt.
      Key just swept through Monty Python.
      Completely at home. Now hamming it up on *Keydashians* reality show.

    • ropata 22.3

      however the law society and the IRD and anyone with a brain conscience DOES care about Key’s corporate BS

  23. Chooky 23

    imo Key’s arrogance and evasion shows he approves of New Zealand as a tax haven

    ….this means by implication that he thinks it is ok for wealthy New Zealanders to reciprocate and avoid/evade tax in New Zealand by using overseas tax havens

    …does he hide his money overseas and avoid paying tax in New Zealand?

    …questions need to be asked in Parliament…imo it is very important that all MPs and especially the Prime Minister are open and transparent about their personal finances and tax…otherwise they are open to charges of corruption and the credibility of their position is undermined)

    New Zealand deserves better!

    (as Martyn Bradbury said ”we are facing serious questions from serious people about how much of a tax haven NZ has been allowed to become. Key was warned 7 times that he risked this, and not only did nothing, he weakened the law in 2011 and had his own lawyer contacting the Revenue Minister to stop IRD crack downs.” )

  24. Richard Christie 24

    His helicopter probably took enemy fire on one one of his troop visits in Iraq too.

    • North 24.1

      Or maybe it was that fated night in Parnell of which Key hath spake – when the burglar struck and Bronagh told him to go down and “sort it” and so he did and nek minnit there’s spontaneous body transfusions and the PM is a burglar and the burglar up in court is that Nice Mr Key whom we’d love to have a beer with. So-Un-Fair !!!

      Michelle Boag hoodwinked into proselytising for a common burglar and the family not picking the difference.

      The Character Question again I think.

  25. Peter Calder 25

    Well, I don’t know who this Hansard bloke thinks he is, but he is plainly mistaken. 😉

  26. Wow, what you reckon, did Carter write the words he used down beforehand when they discussed Key’s escape and they looked for precedent? He used exactly the same words as Mme speaker used to throw Helen Clark out!

  27. whateva next? 27

    Thanks for that, …except it related the smiling Pm as they are ejected, rather than exploring the idea of the Speaker/PM having concocted a scenario (based on previous PM being booted out) to spare him uncomfortable questions by being booted out…….

  28. Richardrawshark 28

    Because MSM think if they start pulling him up on his everyday amnesia and incompetence people will say they are picking on him. You see Helens Clarks signature was a serious issue so is speeding, but lying to the people , and corruptions ok, it’s really such a triviality, you should get over it.

    What we need to focus on is how we as a nation can use Helen Clarks position to borrow a few trillion from the UN’s slush fund and we can all bugger off to Hawai.

    I have great faith Dear leader will cut us all in on the action.


  29. Reddelusion 29

    “Some one may accuse me of KDS” I hereby confirm you as such to avoid any doubt

    • Paul 29.1

      Any chance you could find something else to do?

    • b waghorn 29.2

      You don’t find it odd that the pm would claim getting kicked out when he didn’t.??

      • seeker 29.2.1

        john key inserting himself into Helen Clark’s and Don Brash’s 2005
        ‘being asked to leave the parliamentary chamber’ story as ‘Don Brash’ is beyond weird. I found it positively unnerving.

        • b waghorn

          The only thing I can think as he thought he’d get some sort of sympathy by making it a”I was wronged by labour story”

  30. North 30

    Dreams he’s pretty much Churchill to his Roosevelt, you know like him and POTUS.

    • seeker 30.1

      It gives a whole new meaning to ‘losing the plot’ when you can’t even remember which plot you were in………. or does that give it the correct meaning?

  31. Chris 31

    If Hansard records four occasions Key can easily claim he got things a bit muddled. If last week was the only time he’d be pushed to be able to justify his claim about the time with Wilson and Clark. Despite anything, though, it should matter if a PM lies regardless of the situation but the sad case is that nobody cares anymore.

  32. Neil 32

    Absolutely brilliant…

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