John Key: Labour party expert

Written By: - Date published: 9:43 pm, September 17th, 2013 - 62 comments
Categories: john key, labour - Tags:

I see both Fairfax and the Herald quote extensively from John Key on the inner workings of the Labour Party – he has all the inside gossip apparently.

Trevor, Grant, David, David, David, they may all play their hands close, but when it comes to John – they tell him everything.

So we now know that David Parker being made Deputy

“shows how deep the rifts are within the Labour Party caucus. In the end if they were really a united caucus they needed to bring the two parts of the equation together and essentially they’ve failed to do that. What that shows you is the Robertson camp isn’t really backing David Cunliffe so that will spell problems for him over time. ”

“[Cunliffe] might look slicker on top but it’s a band aid over a very divided party.”

“[Parker]’s very pointy-headed, can’t communicate with the public very easily”

“Trevor Mallard, love or hate the guy, he knows the House inside out, so that will be another sort of agitating force and there are others – we know that Phil Goff and Annette King are really opposed to David Cunliffe,”

Yup, Key’s been told about all the vast rifts and divisions and how they’re going to be attacking each other instead of him.  Because it’s not like he’d just say that, is it?  It’s not like it’s his job to make shit up about Labour.  A bit like getting Cameron Slater on as a pundit to talk about Labour (I’m looking at you TV3).

So, just to help all those poor political journos who need some tips, here’s a picture of everything John Key (or Slater for that matter) knows about the inner workings of the Labour Party:

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62 comments on “John Key: Labour party expert ”

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  1. lprent 1
    17 September 2013 at 9:52 pm

    Blank.PNG…. Glorious…

  2. mickysavage 2
    17 September 2013 at 9:53 pm

    Yep I do not understand why the media think that Key knows what happens in the Labour Party. I also do not understand why they do not comprehend that anything he says is fueled by malice.

    As for Cameron what can I say …

    He has no social boundaries. He seems to think that he can say all sorts of shyte about young people and it is justified because his side of the political spectrum has to win.

    I don’t know whether to feel really sorry for him or not. I suspect that he is actually helping left wing activism because he is that bad he is making activists more determined to achieve change.

    • tc 2.1
      18 September 2013 at 7:00 am

      This will be their line of attack, helped by the MSM.

      See the way the issues like chorus etc aren’t once they change tack onto the Labour caucus.

      All opposition MP’s need to hammer the theme ‘answer the issue, what are you afraid of….yes this is what open democracy looks like, I see you are not familiar with it etc etc’

      You do that with the gluons and rat boys and it forms part of their piece so the swingers can see who is owned and who is fighting for a fairer NZ.

    • joe90 2.2
      18 September 2013 at 11:04 am

      As for Cameron what can I say …

      A wide boy who’s too stupid to be a tory?.

  3. Boadicea 3
    17 September 2013 at 10:10 pm

    Micky!
    “I don’t know whether to feel really sorry for him or not.” Seriously?????????????????

    Cameron, like some other media jocks and politicians, might score on many of the measurements of a psychopath:

    Facet 1: Interpersonal
    Glibness/superficial charm
    Grandiose sense of self-worth
    Pathological lying
    Cunning/manipulative
    Facet 2: Affective
    Lack of remorse or guilt
    Emotionally shallow
    Callous/lack of empathy
    Failure to accept responsibility for own actions
    Facet 3: Lifestyle
    Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom
    Parasitic lifestyle
    Lack of realistic, long-term goals
    Impulsivity
    Irresponsibility
    Facet 4: Antisocial
    Poor behavioral controls
    Early behavioral problems
    Juvenile delinquency
    Revocation of conditional release
    Criminal versatility
    Many short-term marital relationships
    Promiscuous sexual behaviour

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy

    or might not…..

    • Tracey 3.1
      18 September 2013 at 10:08 am

      Mr Slater has stated he has mental health issues. If depression is one of them he will have very low self-esteem. People who have anger and low self esteem issues feel better (temporarily) BY BRINGING OTHERS DOWN, IT MAKES THEM FEEL “BETTER THAN”… SOMEONE, ANYONE… (oops fat finger on caps lock) . They love pitting people against each other and they need it to be personal.

      However it is fleeting because soon their self talk overrides the euphoria and continues telliing them how stupid or useless they are. It is sad and you are right to consider feeling sorry for such a person.

      • onsos 3.1.1
        18 September 2013 at 2:20 pm

        I don’t really appreciate this. Cameron Slater is a nasty piece of work, but it is not because of his mental health. I know plenty of people with experience of depression; almost invariably they are the subject of their own negative talk.

        • Murray Olsen 3.1.1.1
          18 September 2013 at 3:57 pm

          I agree, onsos. The people I have known with depression have turned inward, against themselves. WhaleSpew’s problem is something else. It’s also something I don’t really care about. With all the problems in this world, and all the good people who are victimised and suffering, I just do not have space on my list for that hate merchant.

        • Rogue Trooper 3.1.1.2
          18 September 2013 at 8:16 pm

          more complex than that.

    • Rhinocrates 3.2
      18 September 2013 at 9:20 pm

      I find this really disturbing.

      Yes, Slater is a scumbag, but please don’t use mental illness itself as a smear.

      I have high-functioning autism, and as the joke has it, I don’t suffer from it, I enjoy it. On the other hand, I’m prone to bouts of anxiety and depression disorder and I don’t enjoy them at all and don’t like to see mental health problems seen as moral failings.

      “Psychopath” is an easy smear, but I’ve known plenty of people to lazily lump it with “evil”, not bothering to think that it is simply a description of behaviour that is statistically divergent from the mean.

      I’ve also seen plenty of people lump autism with psychopathy who think that psychopathy is a synonym for “evil”.

      There are in fact many individuals in history who would be described as “great” who would also be described as “psychopaths” if one went through the checklist.

      At the very least, look up “confirmation bias” – that is, assessing evidence for its “truthiness” according to whether it meets a predetermined judgement.

      Please, Boadicea, be a bit more thoughtful before you leap to using labels as judgments, otherwise you’ll be covering a lot of people who don’t deserve that judgement. Slater is scum; just leave it at that.

      • Rogue Trooper 3.2.1
        18 September 2013 at 9:39 pm

        at the Lectern tonight, Hannibal.
        Identity

        • Chooky 3.2.1.1
          18 September 2013 at 9:58 pm

          @ Rhinocrates….good to have you back!….none of us is normal….just as well because real “normal” is very boring…..look very very closely and just about everyone is a bit abnormal …..and a bit crazy……(some nicely so and some not so nice)…..towards one end of the spectrum or the other on some diagnosis or another

          Graham Greene was a manic depressive …or bi-polar….and it probably stimulated his perception and creativity

          @ lol Rogue Trooper Possum!….I expect you are a wee bit …. anyone who likes John Maikovich and Mr Ripley (and Mr Ripley’s author was definitely not normal!)…has to be……urmmm…Look up Robert Fisk vs John Maikovich

          • ghostrider888 3.2.1.1.1
            18 September 2013 at 10:01 pm

            His former darkness haunts him. I’ll be trailin’ him till he does!

          • Rhinocrates 3.2.1.1.2
            18 September 2013 at 10:05 pm

            I don’t mean to attack Boadicea personally, so I hope that she’s not hurt by that – I just want to point out that one should pause before seeming to judge.

          • Rhinocrates 3.2.1.1.3
            18 September 2013 at 10:09 pm

            Well, as it has been said so eloquently, “Malkovich, Malkocvich – Malkovich, MALKOVICH… Malkovich… Malkovich. Malkovich.”

            • Rogue Trooper 3.2.1.1.3.1
              18 September 2013 at 10:30 pm

              an Adaptation of Les liaisans Dangereuses

            • Chooky 3.2.1.1.3.2
              19 September 2013 at 10:52 am

              Ok…… MALKOVICH….my spelling is awful……I will concede he is good, organic , seamless actor especially of sinister evil characters ….but Robert Fisk is a hero of mine and Malkovich blotted his copy book forever when he attacked Fisk the way he did

              Also I admit Patricia Highsmith is a classic writer of the genre and the sinister psychopath Mr Ripley…..but I never did like him….I guess I wasnt supposed to….I am actually a failed romance writer ( ha ha)….they never could get their act together….I am now thinking about crime…..crime writers seem to have more fun!

              • Rogue Trooper …
                19 September 2013 at 2:50 pm

                plenty of material to draw upon in the newspapers.

                • Chooky …
                  19 September 2013 at 4:00 pm

                  @ Rogue Trooper possum…..yes but most local newspaper crime just amounts to sad lapses of self control….pointless crime and stunted thoughtless tragic acts and characters ….maybe it should be a psychological thriller ….(it will be what it will be, or not be …when i get the time)

  4. Lionel 4
    17 September 2013 at 10:17 pm

    Will be hard work for Cunliffe to turn the MSM around judging by the focus on caucus instead of Chorus tongue slip the copper tax has become an issue because Key says Chorus are going broke that should be the MSMs focus I thought Cunliffe aside from the slip was solid certainly well ahead of Shearer I watched Question time Key hardly answered 1 question honestly and just took pot shots at Cunliffe and Robertson he should be looking over his shoulder being overseas for a length of time gives Joyce and Collins time to cook up a coup the Nats are just as capable of knifeing one another in the back as Labour are remember there was an attempted coup on Muldoon when he was out of the country and a successful one
    on Bolger by Jenny Shipley when he was away despite today not living
    up to expectation the tide is going out on Key only the MSM have’nt got that yet this arrogant corrupt government won’t continue to get away with what they have been able for much longer

    • weka 4.1
      17 September 2013 at 10:29 pm

      Is there a reason you didn’t use punctuation in that comment? It’s hard to read.

      Re the MSM, there were 3 pieces in the ODT today, a report from Audrey Young, an editorial, and an opinion piece. The first two were actually ok in terms of not being hysterical about DC and Labour. The editorial was quite even handed. The opinion piece appeared to be from a right wing political commentator, I didn’t read much of it, but the start at least was also not inflammatory. I suspect that if DC carries on with the intelligence and taking the fight to Key over time, that there will more in the MSM willing to report more favourably. It is interesting after all, and makes a change from the last few years, which I’m sure some journos will appreciate.

      • Tracey 4.1.1
        18 September 2013 at 10:09 am

        I agree. If he doesnt get drawn into it, doesnt get defensive and focuses on repeating his message the public, if not the journos will get the message.

        Thats his task, frame a few issues and go back to them again and again no matter how asinine the questions get.

        It’s what the greens have had to learn to do and now do it so well

      • Pasupial 4.1.2
        18 September 2013 at 10:16 am

        Weka; I mostly read the online ODT, where the four front-page Politics section includes 2 AudreyYoung stories. The first from yesterday leads with:

        “New Labour leader David Cunliffe hinted this afternoon that he will recommend Grant Robertson as his deputy”

        Whereas today’s her piece on Parker as Labour Deputy says:

        “Mr Cunliffe has made it abundantly clear in public statements that had Mr Robertson wanted to be his second in command he would have recommended him for the sake of party unity.”

        I haven’t seen any public statements from Cunliffe saying that, but it might have been on TV where I would have missed it. It does comes across like she’s trying to retrospectively validate yesterday’s error though. Especially since the Dene MacKensie article above AY-AY’s says:

        “Mr Parker said he was Mr Cunliffe’s preferred nomination for deputy leader”

        • karol 4.1.2.1
          18 September 2013 at 10:22 am

          Yes, I don’t understand where Young got this from.

          It may have been from Cunliffe’s first press stand-up.

          Youtube version.

          I seem to recall that one MSM report cited this.

          But when I listened to it the day it was posted online, but I didn’t get that from the stand-up.

          Edit: Young’s reference, Monday:

          New Labour leader David Cunliffe hinted this afternoon that he will recommend Grant Robertson as his deputy at tomorrow’s vote.

          At a press conference at Parliament, Mr Cunliffe said he expected to make a recommendation on the position at tomorrow’s caucus meeting, the first since his election yesterday.

        • weka 4.1.2.2
          18 September 2013 at 6:53 pm

          Pasupial, I can’t remember the content of the paper versio. But that’s the devil of it – we are so used to crap MSM jonolism, that I quite possibly overlooked her mis-information because it wasn’t hugely glaring or negative like I was expecting.

    • GregJ 4.2
      17 September 2013 at 10:36 pm

      I doubt there is much Cunliffe directly can do to turn the MSM around – the corporate Media will changes its narrative only when it sees it to be in their own interest – most probably when they realise that public opinion is surging toward a change in Government. I think it is a misnomer that the corporate MSM leads public opinion – it chases it to sell advertising & make profits.

      I say lets not play the game and pin our hopes on it – there are alternatives to the Corporate MSM and those are what must be harnassed to make the change. In the same way Key needs to be made irrelevant so does the media – indeed the Labour leadership contest demonstrated how feeble the MSM was & how powerless they are when direct democracy is applied.

    • David H 4.3
      18 September 2013 at 11:28 am

      Yeah the Nats are particularly skilled at the ‘Knife in the Back’ scenario’.

  5. LynWiper 5
    17 September 2013 at 10:20 pm

    Thanks BUNJI, succinctly put!

  6. Matthew 6
    17 September 2013 at 10:32 pm

    Does the Leader of the house become speaker? Because if Cunliffe wants Trevor the Duck on his side, he should offer him the speakers role for when they win.
    Mallard would be excellent IMO, he knows procedure inside out, & it would satisfy his ego…

    • Boadicea 6.1
      17 September 2013 at 10:49 pm

      Mallard is a damaged brand. Labour is better off with him “retired”.
      Mallard has put himself and his parochial Wellington/Hutt micro-world ahead of the NZ Labour Party.
      Mallard didn’t learn how to mature gracefully.

      • Tracey 6.1.1
        18 September 2013 at 10:11 am

        being speaker canbe “retired”. And Lockwood surprised me with how good he was (which is why Nats had to let him go). Perhaps Trevor would be similar? Need to win an election to have the worry though.

  7. fender 7
    17 September 2013 at 11:23 pm

    Did Gower want Slater on because he’s tired of being the most unpleasant liar on television? Glad I missed it, I’m over the 3news that isn’t.

    And why anyone would want the opinion of a fool who clearly has no idea, or is just another fucking liar when he that said “the unions chose the new labour leader” is just beyond the joke.

    • Tracey 7.1
      18 September 2013 at 10:12 am

      what was Slater’s background before his blog? Qualifications? Job experience?

      • billbrowne 7.1.1
        18 September 2013 at 11:49 am

        Son of National Party president

      • lprent 7.1.2
        18 September 2013 at 11:52 am

        Auckland Grammar brat. I believe he started work as some kind of junior banker computer’s servant. He descended through a partnership in a (now failed and bankrupt) security firm to being at home and blogging with depression on some kind of income protection insurance.

        I’ve probably skipped a few career highlights because I haven’t seen anything of enough interest to mean that I should dig more. This is just what people have told me. You would not believe how many people have sent me the receivers report.

        Wait for the bombastic auto-biography.

        • fender 7.1.2.1
          18 September 2013 at 12:05 pm

          “Wait for the bombastic auto-biography”

          Handwritten over unsold copies of “Truth”.

        • ghostwhowalksnz 7.1.2.2
          18 September 2013 at 12:20 pm

          Not a junior banker …hahah.

          He was a computer operator for Databank , mainly back in days of tape jockeys and feeding paper into banks of line printers

          • lprent 7.1.2.2.1
            18 September 2013 at 12:29 pm

            Thats right. I remembered it had something to do with being a minion in a bank.I have adjusted my earlier comment appropriately.

            Ummm I’m just figuring out the ages. He must have been doing that as the whole timeshare / batch computing operation business was going down the toilet.

  8. chris73 8
    18 September 2013 at 7:22 am

    Yeah I mean not withstanding Labours travails over Goff and Shearer these last couple of years ie backstabbing, leaking, dishormany and flat out treachery how could anyone suggest they don’t know whats going on

    Sheesh

    • framu 8.1
      18 September 2013 at 8:00 am

      please explain how the leader of one party could be considered a credible source for info on their opponents

      go on – i dare you

      But really chris – put the pom poms down and ask yourself – is this really acceptable from our political journos?

  9. Craig Glen Eden 9
    18 September 2013 at 8:36 am

    ” the pom poms” Lol. Yeeeeeeees I think chris73 has hit himself in the head with those pom poms a few to many times. Im not aware of any back stabbing of either Shearer or Goff infact they both resigned their positions after it become clear to them that they were not going to beat Key. I would chalenge any Johnolist to come up with evidence of any attempted Leadership chalenge on either leader. Personally I told Shearer to his face he didnt have what it took to be Leader, Goff of coarse is 3 times the politician that Shearer was but just was not a leader, Goff I think if he is willing could be a good asset in Cunliffes Labour lead team so to could King.

    The next few days will be interesting as shadow cabinet minister positions get allocated, certainly Labour is looking way better than it has from what I saw in the house yesterday. Chorus/Caucus stumble the only minor issue.

  10. felix 10
    18 September 2013 at 8:39 am

    This is what John Key means when he says “centre-right vs far-left”: http://www.politicalcompass.org/nz2011

    • Pasupial 10.1
      18 September 2013 at 10:36 am

      Felix

      I saw that on TDB, and it seemed a bit askew to me, but when I clicked your link I saw that it was from the 2011 election (which explains their; including “Progressive” while leaving NZ 1st out, but they’d slot in neatly where “United Future” is). “Labour’s Phil Goff” was then leader, I think Cunliffe’s Labour will be closer to where “Maori” was on the chart (but then Flavel’s Maori would be several points up on both the authoritarian and right axes – appropriately enough; a mirror image of “Mana” across the X-axis).

      It’ll be interesting to see an updated version for the 2014 election (though without enumerating the axes on a defined scale it is difficult to regard as more than a visual depiction of an opinion).

    • Pascal's bookie 10.2
      18 September 2013 at 10:36 am

      woah.

  11. Enough is Enough 11
    18 September 2013 at 8:54 am

    You will give yourself an early grave if you worry about things like this Bunji.

    He is the PM. The media is going to ask him what he thinks of the new opposition. He is going to give a political answer.

    I don’t think anyone who read the PM’s comments will think it is accurate or anything other than political stirring.

    • shorts 11.1
      18 September 2013 at 9:32 am

      agree with this

      Where this can all go wrong is when Mr Key shows the electorate the man one can see in the house as he gives his informed view on Labour… his nasty smug self… his comments are pointless but the media allow the public to see the man and he can’t help himself

      Now if Labour could dispense with using the language of business people (moving forward, reaching out et al) and speak to normal kiwis in the language we use I’d be quite happy – as in stop using the same phrases national use…..

      • Tracey 11.1.1
        18 September 2013 at 10:14 am

        agree, change the language from addressing a board of directors to the people who work for the company from the junior to the 2IC

        • shorts 11.1.1.1
          18 September 2013 at 11:13 am

          there is of course a huge risk in using normal everyday language by politicians… Mallard might call Key a f___ing d__k 🙂

          • Enough is Enough 11.1.1.1.1
            18 September 2013 at 11:22 am

            No risk in that.

            That would be a good thing for Mad Dog Mallard to say and repeat from now until he retires in 12 months. It would be great for someone to accuratley decribe Key ansa Fucking Dick with a toupe who is stealing from your grandchildren as you sleep.

      • Martin 11.1.2
        18 September 2013 at 10:26 pm

        I don’t think he will be remembered as one of the better ones.

        Going Forward…..I agree that word grouping should be an immediate black out offence in the media. I am so sick of corporate speak.

  12. Chooky 12
    18 September 2013 at 9:25 am

    “BOY AM I SCARED!…….EH!”

    (little John Key thought bubble…. on a large black McCahon canvas)

  13. Virginia Linton 13
    18 September 2013 at 10:12 am

    I can picture that Chooky, would make a nice Labour Party fundraiser t-shirt, cards or art print.

  14. logie97 14
    18 September 2013 at 5:55 pm

    Was listening to the Peters/Key exchange in yesterday’s Question Time and after much prevarication on Key’s part, his last statement on it to the house was quite telling – 08:15 into question
    http://inthehouse.co.nz/node/20999
    “I know a lot more on this issue than that member ever will …” – we know, of course, where he would be getting that information but it was the smugness of the delivery.
    Makes one wonder if he can be trusted with access to and knowledge of the security services he is in charge of? Would we ever know who he might be seeking information on through his departments?
    We do know how Bennett abused her position to get information on citizens.
    The recent monitoring of Dunne and the journalist makes one wonder – what was the brainfader’s involvement? Has that ever been clarified?

    • Anne 14.1
      18 September 2013 at 6:57 pm

      The recent monitoring of Dunne and the journalist makes one wonder – what was the brainfader’s involvement? Has that ever been clarified?

      No it never was logie97. It just disappeared down a large hole like a lot of other mysteries in the past few years.

      I have no hesitation in saying that John Key’s primary reason for the GCSB legislation was to use the Dotcom affair to create a loophole that would allow him to gather any information he wanted about anyone he disliked or was looking for gen on… gen he could smear them with at a later date if it suited him. That would include opposition politicians, union delegates, public service personnel, academics, bloggers and individuals from all walks of life who dare to stand up and criticise him in public.

      He didn’t minutely study Rob Muldoon’s modus operandi for nothing.

  15. ghostrider888 15
    18 September 2013 at 10:18 pm

    “what Key knows” resembles my toilet paper.

  16. Rogue Trooper 16
    18 September 2013 at 10:19 pm

    that’s Modern Artifice for ya’.

  17. Gruntie 17
    22 September 2013 at 11:45 am

    SlyKey

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