Lost in Wiseacre Wood

Written By: - Date published: 1:49 pm, November 26th, 2010 - 5 comments
Categories: humour - Tags: ,

Feel like some Friday fun? Do you know a haycorn from a heffalump? If you answered “yes” to both questions then I think you’re going to appreciate this piece of genius from Lyndon Hood:

One day the Bear and his friend, the Small Pig, were strolling through the wood, and the Bear was just beginning to think he might like some honey, when, rather suddenly, the fair weather ended and the forest became very dark indeed, and very cold, and quite unfamiliar.

It had been, the Bear thought to himself, quite an enjoyable walk up until this point.

“Are we lost?” asked the Small Pig.

“I don’t think we are lost,” said the Bear. “That is, I don’t exactly know where we are, but I think I have a plan for getting back.”

“Oh good,” said the Small Pig.

“It seems to me,” said the Bear, who was remembering something he had once been told about how to get out of a maze, “It seems to me that we should try to go forwards, and slightly to the right. And then when we get home we can have some honey.”

“Could we have haycorns, too?” asked the Small Pig, who was quite partial to acorns.

“Certainly. In moderation,” said the Bear, how rather preferred honey but virtuously considered it a matter of personal choice.

The Small Pig was rather pleased by this, but still seemed a little uncertain.

“Are you sure we oughtn’t try going… back?” asked the Small Pig quietly.

“Do you want your haycorns or not?” asked the Bear.

“Oh, I do.”

“Well, then.”

So off they went, forwards, and slightly to the right.

After a while, it began to snow.

The Bear decided that the main thing was that the Small Pig should not loose Confidence. So he decided to sing a Brave Song as they walked. But he couldn’t decide between the song about Small Government And De-regulation, or the song about How Not To Scare Horses, so instead he just hummed in a brave way, and generally pretended to be quite certain they were heading in the right direction. ….

Carry on and read the whole thing…

5 comments on “Lost in Wiseacre Wood ”

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  1. ianmac 1
    26 November 2010 at 2:11 pm

    Read that the other day and after a very big think and as it was time for a little something, and it seems that when you are a Bear of very small Brain, you have to Trust those who Must be Obeyed because they are very rich, so they must be very good people. The Bear is very very sad to think that his wonderful world is being shredded by men in expensive suits who talk the talk, and then fly off for expensive holidays using Bear’s pot of Hunny for Munny.

  2. Irascible 2
    26 November 2010 at 2:58 pm

    Brilliant!! Why hasn’t NZ got a visible satirical “industry” anymore except on blog sites??
    The quest for the lowest common denominator has obviously rendered this valuable “industry” un-viable.

    • Jim Nald 2.1
      26 November 2010 at 3:31 pm

      What need for satire? The nats nuts and their coalition partners are playing the part in real time!
      And some voters are going for the ride and behaving like they are texting for a ‘reality show’.

      • Colonial Viper 2.1.1
        26 November 2010 at 3:34 pm

        Yep someone should do a satirical Lefty talk ASAP a la John Stewart. NZ really needs something like that, the MSM is crap.

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