Mr Fucks It

Written By: - Date published: 9:29 am, March 16th, 2013 - 41 comments
Categories: jobs, Steven Joyce - Tags:

In what is sure to be an interesting test of our amnesty, I want to point out that Steven Joyce is probably the most over-rated politician in living memory. The man has literally never achieved anything. He lost the unloseable election, his fossil fuels-centric economic policy is a predictable failure and he has completely failed on jobs. And what’s he managed on Novopay?

Steven Joyce came to the job with the background of being a successful businessman and National’s campaign strategist in 2005 and 2008. But scratch the surface –

Joyce went from being a small time radio host to owning the RadioWorks empire in the 1990s. When you read the bios on him, how this transition happened is seldom mentioned. What happened is he exploited Maurice Williamson’s shabby selling off of the radio spectrum to get a hell of a lot of value while paying the taxpayer next to nothing. Winston Peters related the story nicely earlier this year:

Mr Steven Joyce poses as a self-made millionaire, but every morning he rises, he points his head towards not Mecca but Pakuranga, and he goes down on his knees and he thanks a man called Maurice Williamson, who in the early 1990s was Minister of Broadcasting and under a Vickrey sales process gave him, literally, broadcasting licence after broadcasting licence for a pittance. Mr Joyce bid the highest bid, but under Mr Williamson’s programme he was required to pay only the second-highest bidder’s bid. Do you like that? Do you like that? So he bids $1 million for the licence, Mr Banks bids $100,000 for the licence, and I bid, say, $50,000. Mr Joyce, in this case, gets the bid because he had the highest bid, but he pays Mr Banks’ bid of $100,000. What do you call that? It is a rort, and that is how he became this extraordinarily wealthy, self-made man, who now knows all about exports too, because, apparently, he is in exporting. We know what he is exporting: people

So, Williamson was doing these ‘efficient in theory, incredibly open to rorting in reality’ spectrum sales and Joyce puts in crazy bids knowing that hardly anyone else would be bidding and walks away paying hardly anything at all. Williamson should have got a valuation and then negotiated with buyers who would exceed that value – instead he gave the spectrum to a National crony for peanuts. In return, National got a radio network that ran a hell of a lot of National propaganda (I still remember the Brash interviews on The Rock – the DJs trying so hard to make him cool). That’s only lessened very recently, once Joyce had been forced out.

The ‘self-made man’s next triumph was as campaign manager in the 2005 election. He was obsesses with ‘optics’, which is why he had Brash climbing in and out of tiny cars and walking planks, and talking about his candidates’ testicles on TV. Cutting a dirty little secret deal with the Exclusive Brethren was his biggest triumph. The irony was the EB’s ‘campaign’ was a bunch of hysterical,counter-productive nonsense in unreadable pamphlets. And when it came out – as anyone with any game would know was inevitable – it cost National the election. The aftershocks later cost Brash his job.

What about 2008, you say? Yeah, cause running small target with a photogenic leader against a third term government was soooo hard.

Which brings us to Joyce’s performance as a minister. What has he actually done?

Anyone?

Can anyone name an achievement of Steven Joyce as a minister of the Crown?

How’s the economy going? How’s the mining, oil, and gas agenda going? It takes someone pretty special to fail to get a fossil fuel agenda humming in a world of increased resource scarcity.

All Joyce seems to have produced is a lot of bluster. He even wrote the bluster down and put pretty pictures around it and called it the 6-point Business Growth Agenda. In its short life so far, the only work we’ve seen out of Joyce’s Mobie super-ministry is the six turgid volumes of this agenda – which has blossomed into Joyce’s ‘300 initiatives‘ (not to be confused with his completely different 120-point economic development action plan).

If making ever more detailed lists of petty things you would like to do was a virtue, Joyce would have been in the running for pope. But it’s not, it’s just a cheap trick that the useless learn to look busy when they’re achieving fuck all.

And Novopay. Two months and nothing has happened. No decision on whether to keep or ditch the system. No fines for Talent2. It’s clear what Joyce’s strategy is – wait for the fixing process that had begun before he got the job to work out the bulk of the bugs, declare victory, and claim the credit for himself.

But let’s go back to Joyce’s core role – Economic Development. Effectively – Minister for More Jobs.

How’s he doing? 30,000 jobs lost last year, including 17,000 in manufacturing. Let’s assume Joyce works a 60 hour week – that means every hour he spent as Economic Development Minister, 10 jobs were lost last year.

Mining, always a minor employer and completely inadequate as a cornerstone economic policy, is also losing jobs. The foreign oil companies have come, had a sniff around and left. The coal companies are on the verge of collapse.

The fossil fuel agenda has failed. Meanwhile, a real large-scale employer, manufacturing, has been ignored and hung out to dry by Joyce. Which didn’t stop him skiting yesterday when some tinpot surveys suggested things were looking up:

joyce manufacturing

And, then literally 2 hours later, this happened:

geon collapse

Christ, what a fuck up.

41 comments on “Mr Fucks It”

  1. irascible 1

    And now he’s in charge of Novopay… any guesses on how quickly that management turns belly up?

  2. ianmac 2

    It is his smug arrogance that bugs me. He treats the population with contempt and like an unscrupulous second-hand car salesmen, he glosses over the realities that might show the flaws in his arguments. Like Mr Key really.

  3. tc 3

    Style over substance. Joyce talks a good game and bullies in public and behind the scenes knowing exactly how to line his own and the hollowmens pockets.

    He’s really one of the better performing ministers based on their success measures being plunder and spin to name a couple.

  4. QoT 4

    The story of his “self-made” mythology is illuminating and if more widely-reported would really allow people to gain an informed opinion of Joyce’s actual business acumen. No wonder I hadn’t heard it before.

  5. Jared 5

    “In return, National got a radio network that ran a hell of a lot of National propaganda (I still remember the Brash interviews on The Rock – the DJs trying so hard to make him cool).”

    Except at that stage Joyce had sold out to Canwest…
    But you know, if it makes the story sound better!

  6. ordinary_bloke 6

    Very good point Eddie, but Winston also deserves credit for bringing it up.

    In a democracy you have to work with the people you’ve got .. I can’t see
    someone like Graeme Hart standing for Parliament.

  7. Rogue Trooper 7

    according to the MSM, there is expansion in the manufacturing sector; in food, beverage and tobacco related products. Yep! going great guns Steven, sorta like Steve MacDonald’s love life!
    (lotsa f*cks, little real progress, only the women coming out on top)

  8. prism 8

    My Joyce meets NACTs standards – he is a fluent talker, with an answer to everything that puts him and them in the right, he made a lot of money and did that by manipulating words and the broadcasting market. The perfect man to advance an already hollowed out economy with joblessness, falling wages and specialising in aimless technology such as lots of laser lights which are pointed at the people so they can never see clearly where they are going.

  9. One Tāne Huna 9

    Joyce’s personal history demonstrates yet again that a wingnut’s worst nightmare is the fact check. Unfortunately New Zealand media doesn’t know what a fact check looks like.

  10. Georgy 10

    He treats the population with contempt and like an unscrupulous second-hand car salesmen, he glosses over the realities that might show the flaws in his arguments. Like Mr Key really.

    Which is how they ran their 2011 election campaign. No engagement by any national MP.

  11. Mike 11

    And you can add to the list: the clusterf*ck with ‘Ultrafast’ broadband & Chorus as well as the big white whale of MoBIE

    • MrSmith 11.1

      And remember Telstra Clear, anyone?, Joyce ran them out of town basically by handing his mates at telecom most of the contracts, so we will be stuck with a Monopoly/ part duopoly for the next 10 to 20 years at-least thanks to mr Joyce.

  12. ghostrider888 12

    Let Us Not Forget;
    the ramifications of No (or too much) vopay to rumble on for two more years (read it in the paper so it must be true, corroborated by the tele, so it must be canon.

  13. Poission 13

    less then 3 months after opening the new rd test site in ch-ch Skope has reduced to 4 day weeks.

    http://www.stuff.co.nz/business/industries/8000687/Global-refrigeration-tested-at-home

  14. Tim 14

    Why single out Joyce? What exactly has John Key achieved aside from the accumulation of millions ‘on the back of’ [to coin a money market phrase] the hard work of others and rolling the doice.
    And Maurice Williamson! What I’d really love to know is if & WHEN he (OR people he had a beneficial relationship with owned TELECOM shares. Some of you might recall during the previous run of the Nats, Williamson being lauded as the tech-savvy Mister Intelligent. Never was, never was.

    These are very sleezey people. But just as Hobbits slumber through it all now, SO TOO did the third term of the last Labour Gubbamint – you know, the one that had the opportunity to do so much, but instead slipped into complacency, self-agrandisement and an old guard sense of entitlement and decided to have a wee lay down.

    And now they would have us believe the common enemy is NActs – whereas its arrogance, the self-entitlement, the spin, the naturalisation of bullshit and playing the game of commercialised media.

    We’ll see. They (Labour) should have considered that at some point, people of principle might be fed up with voting for least worst options.
    They actually survive in the same manner many of our buzniss leaders do – BLUFF.
    As you suggest Eddie – dig a little deeper – since we’re without a 4th Estate, noone else will

  15. BM 15

    Joyce is doing a great job with Novo pay.
    !% error rate and it’s only going to get better
    http://www.beehive.govt.nz/release/govt-releases-pwc-report-pay-period-25

  16. karol 16

    The 120 point economic development plan, as linked in Eddie’s post, makes interesting reading.

    how have these parts of the plan boosted jobs and the economy?

    Rebuilding Canterbury
    120 Training for the rebuild: Provide up to 4500 places for construction-related training
    in Canterbury and around the country.

    105 New Zealand Cycle Trail: Develop a series of 18 Great Rides around the country
    to attract tourists and support regional economies

    Employment law
    28
    90-day trial: Introduce voluntary 90-day trial periods for new employees to
    encourage businesses to take on new staff. Completed
    29
    Personal grievance reform: Reform the personal grievance system to reduce delays,
    costs, and vexatious claims. Completed
    30 Holidays reform: Give employees the choice to trade one of their four weeks’
    annual leave for cash. Completed
    31
    Keep The Hobbit: Clarify the status of independent contractors in the film industry
    and secure the filming of The Hobbit in New Zealand. Completed
    32
    Starting-out wage: Establish a new wage to lower the barriers to work for our
    youngest workers, who are being priced out of the job market.  New policy
    33
    Collective bargaining: Improve the collective bargaining process to reduce
    bureaucracy and costs.  New policy
    34
    Constructive dismissal: Review how allegations of constructive dismissal can be
    better managed.  New policy
    35
    Flexible Working Arrangements: Grant the right to request FWAs to all employees,
    and allow employers to agree without having to go through a formal process.

    And the priorities for rebuilding Christchurch seem to have missed something?

    Rebuilding Canterbury
    19
    Earthquake Recovery Fund: Use $5.5 billion for the Government’s share of
    rebuilding essential local infrastructure and repairing Crown-owned assets. In progress
    20 Temporary stadium: Underwrite a temporary 17,000 seat stadium to ensure
    Cantabrians can enjoy the benefits of major sporting events.

    Rebuilding Canterbury
    120 Training for the rebuild: Provide up to 4500 places for construction-related training
    in Canterbury and around the country

    • karol 16.1

      Edit: This isn’t a quote but my comment –

      And the priorities for rebuilding Christchurch seem to have missed something?

  17. pollywog 17

    General Rumblefuck…generally rumbles on and achieves fuck all.

  18. David C 18

    I cant decide who I would rate as most overrated polly in NZ…Nanaia Mahuta or Jacinda Ardern…one rides the gravy train thru being born brown and into the right Iwi,…and the other has the nice teeth….hmmmm….

    • felixviper 18.1

      I don’t understand the comment about the teeth, or what it has to do with being an overrated politician.

      Care to explain it for those of us just waking up?

      • lprent 18.1.1

        Care to explain it for those of us just waking up?

        Gloating is not a good look. I got dragged out of bed for a social brunch with family at some ungodly hour of the morning.. 😈

        That rain looks pretty persistent

        • felixviper 18.1.1.1

          Yep, quite pleased about the rain. Especially enjoyable from the horizontal perspective 😀

          • lprent 18.1.1.1.1

            Well I can tell you that the “it was only drizzling when we went in for brunch, but now it is hosing down; the car is an infinite distance away; and oh shit who carries a umbrella in a drought” feeling is not a warm fuzzy

  19. David C 19

    I see someone has changed my icon thing for me….hmmmm….

  20. georgecom 20

    Stephenn Joyce – Minister of 300 small ‘initiatives’.

    Minister of the insignificant?
    Minister of minor ‘initiatives’?

    ‘gonna do’ Key comes out with grandiose statements about what Natioanl will do, is gonna do…

    …and then nothing happens.

    “relentless focus on jobs”, “rolling maul of initiatives”, “build a brighter future”, big talk, big noise etc etc…

    …and then nothing.

    I guess Stephen Joyce is part of the nothingness. Key can’t be part of the delivery of the big talk as he is more about image than substance, being the front man.

    The heavy work relies on senior ministers like Joyce.

    Not much to show.

    • xtasy 20.1

      georgecom: “relentless focus on jobs” –

      This may sound irrelevant in a way to you, but to beneficiaries it is causing constant distress, pressures and fear on a daily basis. This is what the Nats do in welfare now, and the unemployed will know what I am talking about. The Nats have under Bennett, Key and consorts instilled so much fear and distress, it makes some beneficiaries sick. When you are forced to go and look for work, to do all to get a job, have to present to a case manager 20 or more efforts a week (documented) about trying to get a job, where there hardly are any, then this causes serious harm to mental and physical well-being.

      No wonder that despite of all the tough talk the numbers on sickness and invalid’s benefits have not really decreased much, if at all. Hearing Bennett talk makes me sick and sicker. And with the welfare reforms to be implemented from July, things will really get very, very nasty and frightening for many.

      Yes, the Nats do not deliver jobs and opportunities, but they force people to try and do the impossible.

      • georgecom 20.1.1

        and the 200+++++ people who queued for half the day or more to register their names as interested in 7 jobs shows that no matter how much national bends and bows to the market narrative of ‘work readiness’, the ‘relentless focus on jobs’ big talk big noise from Key was simply sleight of tongue trickery.

        Key does the fronting and always makes lots of noise about what he is going to do, big noting stuff. The noise and promises are made to distract people for the while. He never follows through of course, being the ‘front man’ he isn’t capable. There is nothing substantial enough within National to deliver on the big noise anyway, even if they wanted to.

        The sleight on tongue continues and like all sleight of hand tricks, the audience doesn’t pick it up.

  21. xtasy 21

    Sorry Eddie, but this post is missing the point in some ways. Even though Joyce has not really achieved much as a minister and key person within government, he has achieved a fair bit for himself, and for persons like him, that is all that “really” counts.

    He has managed to position himself in the core leadership group of the Nats, and now running his MOBIE ministry monster, he wields more power than English or even Key do on their own. Indeed Joyce is in charge of much of what the government does, he has too much leverage than he should be allowed to have.

    His past is of course colourful and full of strange deals that helped him along very nicely, and Maurice Williamson was a useful good mate that helped him get into radio broadcasting on the cheap.

    This man is actually quite a smart, calculating and highly dangerous operator. I consider him more dangerous than even Key, and his cunning ways with figures (see him during Question Time from Parliament for enlightenment), his arrogant and condescending, mean and back-stabbing way of operating, that is what Labour and other opposition members are at times struggling with.

    It does these days anyway not count so much anymore what is real and true, and Joyce knows this. He is an expert in twisting facts, manipulating figures and other details, and he always has some answers, when media confront him. So he presents things in ways that “appear” convincing, but in reality should not be doing so. And thus he gets away with so much, while delivering very little (if anything) in real results. It does not say much for journalists and certain opposition politicians, that so far they have not managed to expose the BS that senior Nat politician gets away with all the time.

    Spinmeister is the best description of this species of a human being.

  22. Cantabrian 22

    +1 xtasy. Don’t forget he has been Minister of Tertiary Education too. He has been a disaster for Canterbury University and the sector generally.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Time for a breather on immigration
    National has no idea how to house the record number of people entering New Zealand, let alone cope with the pressure on health, education, and transport from this record population growth, says Labour’s Immigration spokesperson Iain Lees-Galloway. ...
    1 day ago
  • Labour to invest $4 billion in education
    Labour’s Education Manifesto will bring positive change across the education sector and is backed by a massive investment, says Labour’s Education Spokesperson Chris Hipkins.  “Labour’s plan will see an extra $4 billion invested over the next four years. It’s organised ...
    1 day ago
  • National’s shame: worst homelessness in the OECD
    National’s legacy is a housing crisis that has given New Zealand the worst homeless rate in the developed world, says Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford. ...
    2 days ago
  • Labour taking action on school donations
    Labour will end so-called voluntary school donations for the majority of parents across the country under its $4 billion plan to revitalise the education sector, says Labour Leader Andrew Little. “Labour has always been committed to a world-class free education ...
    2 days ago
  • Labour to work with Queenstown to build more houses
    Labour will work with Queenstown-Lakes District Council, iwi, and the Community Housing Trust to build the modern, affordable housing Queenstown desperately needs, says Leader of the Opposition Andrew Little. ...
    2 days ago
  • Nats blow the Budget on motels after bowling state houses
    National is spending $140,000 a day putting homeless families in motels, the legacy of nine years of selling off and knocking down state houses, says Labour Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford. ...
    2 days ago
  • New revelations in Joanne Harrison report
    The State Services Commission’s report into the treatment of whistle-blowers by Joanne Harrison has revealed new accusations against the convicted fraudster, says Labour MP Sue Moroney.  “The report found that four staff inside the Ministry of Transport who had raised ...
    2 days ago
  • Snafu at Princess Margaret
    Jonathan Coleman has to stop the stalling over a new building for mental health services in Christchurch to replace the quake damaged Princess Margaret Hospital, says Labour’s Health spokesperson David Clark. “The Government must accept that Christchurch is still recovering ...
    3 days ago
  • Labour’s fiscal plan to build a fairer New Zealand
    Labour will re-build our housing, health and education while responsibly managing New Zealand’s finances, says Leader of the Opposition Andrew Little.  “Under Labour’s Fiscal Plan we will deliver big investments in the services we all need and care about, invest ...
    3 days ago
  • Nats show they’re the tax dodgers’ best friends
    The government is taking the knife to IRD at a time when we need a highly skilled department to ensure that multinationals and speculators don’t get away with dodging tax, says Labour’s Revenue spokesperson Michael Wood. ...
    3 days ago
  • Labour secures the future for NZ Super
    A Labour Government will secure the future for New Zealand Superannuation so we can continue to provide superannuation to those retiring at age 65, says Leader of the Opposition Andrew Little. “One of the first things a Labour-led Government will ...
    4 days ago
  • Multinationals must pay fair share of tax
    A Labour Government will crack down on multinational companies that are dodging paying their fair share of tax, says Labour Leader Andrew Little. “New Zealanders are missing out by hundreds of millions according to the IRD because multinational companies can ...
    5 days ago
  • ACT’s approach to children backward and ill informed
    Act’s new deputy leader’s claim that Labour’s support for families could “extend the misery of child poverty and even child abuse” is ill informed and offensive, says Labour’s Deputy Leader Jacinda Ardern. ...
    1 week ago
  • Canterbury hatchet job a disgrace
    The Government’s glib acceptance of advice that the Canterbury District Health Board doesn’t need more money is a hatchet job and a disgrace, says Labour’s Health Spokesperson David Clark. “To claim that the DHB was using tactics to leverage more ...
    1 week ago
  • Quality for Kiwi kids at ECE
    After more than a decade of rapid growth in the number of children participating in Early Childhood Education (ECE), it’s time to take stock and map out a clear plan for the future, says Labour’s Education spokesperson Chris Hipkins. ...
    1 week ago
  • Labour to boost ECE quality
    Labour will ensure kids get the best start in life by boosting funding for Early Childhood Centres to employ 100 per cent qualified and registered teachers, says Leader of the Opposition Andrew Little. ...
    1 week ago
  • Labour will stump up a million dollars for Maniototo Hospital
    A Labour led Government will make a million dollars available to rebuild the Maniototo Base hospital in Ranfurly, says the Leader of the Opposition Andrew Little.  “This will be a much needed boost for a long overdue rebuild that has ...
    1 week ago
  • No vision for the West Coast
    The West Coast welcomes any Government investment in our region but the lack of any real alternative vision for the West Coast’s economy is disappointing, says Damien O’Connor Labour’s West Coast-Tasman MP.  “The establishment of a Mining Research Unit will ...
    1 week ago
  • National’s youth work scheme too little too late
    After nine years, National’s belated attempt to provide work opportunities for unemployed youth should be seen for what it is, a half-hearted, election gimmick from a party that’s ignored the problem till now, says Leader of the Opposition Andrew Little. ...
    1 week ago
  • Kiwis won’t fall for Joyce’s spin
    Steven Joyce’s embarrassingly obvious spin on Labour’s Families Package won’t fool anyone, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. ...
    1 week ago
  • Labour prioritises families and public services
    Labour’s Families Package delivers a bigger income boost to more than 70 per cent of families with children than Budget 2017. By not spending $1.5 billion a year on tax cuts, Labour is able to do more for lower and ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Kiwis can’t sleep in your ghost houses, Nick
    The Government’s housing infrastructure announcement is another Nick Smith special – over-promising with no detail on delivery, says Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford. ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Labour helps older New Zealanders and low income families with winter heating bills
    Labour will further boost its commitment to warm, healthy housing with a Winter Energy Payment for superannuitants and people receiving main benefits, says Leader of the Opposition Andrew Little. “Everyone deserves a warm, healthy home to live in. But that’s ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National must rule out retrospective override for Ruataniwha
    National must categorically rule out using retrospective legislation to override the Supreme Court’s decision that the land swap of conservation land flooded by the proposed Ruataniwha Dam was illegal, says Labour’s Shadow Attorney General David Parker. “Having not got their ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Flavell’s failure a win for Māori landowners
    The Māori Development Minister’s admission that his unpopular Ture Whenua Māori Bill won’t pass into law prior to the election is a victory for Māori landowners, but only a change of government will keep the Bill gone for good, says ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Stats confirm growing housing shortfall
    National’s failure to fix the housing shortage has been starkly illustrated by new statistics, says Labour Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford. ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Systemic abuse of kids in state care
    After admitting there was systemic abuse of children in State care the Government must do the right thing and launch an independent inquiry, says Labour’s Deputy Leader Jacinda Ardern. ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Migrant worker exploitation needs sharper focus
    The astonishing number of employers found guilty of exploiting migrants shows that migrant exploitation is a serious problem in New Zealand, says Labour Workplace Relations and Safety spokesperson Iain Lees-Galloway. “A total of 53 companies have been banned from recruiting ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Minister faces questions over dam debacle
    Today’s Supreme Court ruling dismissing an appeal to allow a land swap for the controversial Ruataniwha Dam is a victory for our conservation estate and Hawke’s Bay ratepayers, but leaves the Conservation Minister with serious questions to answer, says Ikaroa-Rāwhiti ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Too little too late on Wellington housing
    The announcement today on social housing in Wellington by the National Government is a pitiful and cynical election ploy, says Labour’s Wellington Central MP Grant Robertson. “In 2012 Housing New Zealand emptied out the Gordon Wilson Flats, taking 130 places ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Foreign trusts wilt in the sunlight, but more transparency needed
    The fact that the numbers of foreign trusts registered in New Zealand has plummeted after the Government’s belated and reluctant imposition of a new reporting regime, in the wake of the Panama Papers scandal, shows the need for a transparent, ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Speech by Grant Robertson: The Future of Work and Labour’s Economic Vision
    At the election in September voters will face a choice between a government led by Andrew Little with a fresh approach to give every New Zealander a fair share in prosperity or the continuation of a tired government, out of ...
    3 weeks ago
  • Swimmable Rivers Tour: Waikato
    Last week, we rolled up to the mighty Waikato on the final day of our swimmable rivers tour. Co-Leader James Shaw, Denise Roche MP and I started our day in Horotiu where the primary school has been focussing on the ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty
    3 weeks ago
  • Nats’ failure to train young people contributes to housing stall
    Budget documents forecast that housing construction will stall in the coming year, despite the massive housing shortage, and National’s failure to train young people in building trades is partly to blame, says Leader of the Opposition Andrew Little. ...
    3 weeks ago