No Xmas
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- Date published:
8:50 am, December 25th, 2008 - 4 comments
Categories: humour -
Tags: Xmas
And before anyone calls sour grapes I have to say even John deserves some xmas cheer but this was just too funny not to post today.
4 comments on “No Xmas ”
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After years of advocacy, the Green Party is very happy to hear the Government has listened to our collective voices and announced the closure of the greyhound racing industry, by 1 August 2026. ...2 weeks ago
- Rangatahi voices must be centred in Governmentâs Relationship and Sexuality Education refresh
In response to a new report from ERO, the Government has acknowledged the urgent need for consistency across the curriculum for Relationship and Sexuality Education (RSE) in schools. ...2 weeks ago
- Govt introduces archaic anti-worker legislation
The Green Party is appalled at the Government introducing legislation that will make it easier to penalise workers fighting for better pay and conditions. ...2 weeks ago
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Thank you for the invitation to speak with you tonight on behalf of the political party I belong to - which is New Zealand First. As we have heard before this evening the Kinleith Mill is proposing to reduce operations by focusing on pulp and discontinuing âlossmaking paper productionâ. They say that they are currently consulting on the plan to permanently shut ...2 weeks ago - Swarbrick calls on Auckland Mayor to end delay of revival of St James Theatre
Auckland Central MP, Chlöe Swarbrick, has written to Mayor Wayne Brown requesting he stop the unnecessary delays on St James Theatreâs restoration. ...2 weeks ago
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Today, the Green Party of Aotearoa proudly unveils its new Emissions Reduction PlanâHe Ara Anamataâa blueprint reimagining our collective future. ...2 weeks ago
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Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says Health New Zealand will move swiftly to support dozens of internationally-trained doctors already in New Zealand on their journey to employment here, after a tripling of sought-after examination places. âThe Medical Council has delivered great news for hardworking overseas doctors who want to contribute ...16 hours ago - PM appoints business leader to APEC Business Advisory Council
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has appointed Sarah Ottrey to the APEC Business Advisory Council (ABAC). âAt my first APEC Summit in Lima, I experienced firsthand the role that ABAC plays in guaranteeing political leaders hear the voice of business,â Mr Luxon says. âNew Zealandâs ABAC representatives are very well respected and ...3 days ago
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Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has announced four appointments to New Zealandâs intelligence oversight functions. The Honourable Robert Dobson KC has been appointed Chief Commissioner of Intelligence Warrants, and the Honourable Brendan Brown KC has been appointed as a Commissioner of Intelligence Warrants. The appointments of Hon Robert Dobson and Hon ...3 days ago
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Improvements in the average time it takes to process survey and title applications means housing developments can progress more quickly, Minister for Land Information Chris Penk says. âThe government is resolutely focused on improving the building and construction pipeline,â Mr Penk says. âApplications to issue titles and subdivide land are ...3 days ago
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The Governmentâs measures to reduce airport wait times, and better transparency around flight disruptions is delivering encouraging early results for passengers ahead of the busy summer period, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. âImproving the efficiency of air travel is a priority for the Government to give passengers a smoother, more reliable ...3 days ago
- Ending contracted emergency housing in Rotorua
The Government today announced the intended closure of the Apollo Hotel as Contracted Emergency Housing (CEH) in Rotorua, Associate Housing Minister Tama Potaka says. This follows a 30 per cent reduction in the number of households in CEH in Rotorua since National came into Government. âOur focus is on ending CEH in the Whakarewarewa area starting ...3 days ago
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The Government will reshape vocational education and training to return decision making to regions and enable greater industry input into work-based learning Tertiary Education and Skills Minister, Penny Simmonds says. âThe redesigned system will better meet the needs of learners, industry, and the economy. It includes re-establishing regional polytechnics that ...3 days ago
- Reducing the environmental impact of synthetic refrigerants
The Government is taking action to better manage synthetic refrigerants and reduce emissions caused by greenhouse gases found in heating and cooling products, Environment Minister Penny Simmonds says. âRegulations will be drafted to support a product stewardship scheme for synthetic refrigerants, Ms. Simmonds says. âSynthetic refrigerants are found in a ...3 days ago
- NgÄruawÄhia section of Waikato Expressway back to 4 lanes for Christmas
People travelling on State Highway 1 north of Hamilton will be relieved that remedial works and safety improvements on the NgÄruawÄhia section of the Waikato Expressway were finished today, with all lanes now open to traffic, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says.âI would like to acknowledge the patience of road users ...3 days ago
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Tertiary Education and Skills Minister, Penny Simmonds, has announced a new appointment to the board of Education New Zealand (ENZ). Dr Erik Lithander has been appointed as a new member of the ENZ board for a three-year term until 30 January 2028. âI would like to welcome Dr Erik Lithander to the ...3 days ago
- Government to celebrate Waitangi Day around NZ
The Government will have senior representatives at Waitangi Day events around the country, including at the Waitangi Treaty Grounds, but next year Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has chosen to take part in celebrations elsewhere. âIt has always been my intention to celebrate Waitangi Day around the country with different ...3 days ago
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Two more criminal gangs will be subject to the raft of laws passed by the Coalition Government that give Police more powers to disrupt gang activity, and the intimidation they impose in our communities, Police Minister Mark Mitchell says. Following an Order passed by Cabinet, from 3 February 2025 the ...3 days ago
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The latest economic figures highlight the importance of the steps the Government has taken to restore respect for taxpayersâ money and drive economic growth, Finance Minister Nicola Willis says. Data released today by Stats NZ shows Gross Domestic Product fell 1 per cent in the September quarter. âTreasury and most ...4 days ago
- Strengthening Free Speech in Universities
Tertiary Education and Skills Minister Penny Simmonds and Associate Minister of Education David Seymour today announced legislation changes to strengthen freedom of speech obligations on universities. âFreedom of speech is fundamental to the concept of academic freedom and there is concern that universities seem to be taking a more risk-averse ...4 days ago
- Launch of Emergency Cellular Priority Service
Police Minister, Mark Mitchell, and Internal Affairs Minister, Brooke van Velden, today launched a further Public Safety Network cellular service that alongside last yearâs Cellular Roaming roll-out, puts globally-leading cellular communications capability into the hands of our emergency responders. The Public Safety Networkâs new Cellular Priority service means Police, Wellington ...4 days ago
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State Highway 1 through the Mangamuka Gorge has officially reopened today, providing a critical link for Northlanders and offering much-needed relief ahead of the busy summer period, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says.âThe Mangamuka Gorge is a vital route for Northland, carrying around 1,300 vehicles per day and connecting the Far ...4 days ago
- Funding confirmed for second Ashburton Bridge
The Government has welcomed decisions by the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) and Ashburton District Council confirming funding to boost resilience in the Canterbury region, with construction on a second Ashburton Bridge expected to begin in 2026, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. âDelivering a second Ashburton Bridge to improve resilience and ...4 days ago
- Government boosts support for avian influenza response
The Government is backing the response into high pathogenic avian influenza (HPAI) in Otago, Biosecurity Minister Andrew Hoggard says. âCabinet has approved new funding of $20 million to enable MPI to meet unbudgeted ongoing expenses associated with the H7N6 response including rigorous scientific testing of samples at the enhanced PC3 ...4 days ago
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Legislation that will repeal all advertising restrictions for broadcasters on Sundays and public holidays has passed through first reading in Parliament today, Media Minister Paul Goldsmith says. âAs a growing share of audiences get their news and entertainment from streaming services, these restrictions have become increasingly redundant. New Zealand on ...4 days ago
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Today the House agreed to Brendan Horsley being appointed Inspector-General of Defence, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. âMr Horsleyâs experience will be invaluable in overseeing the establishment of the new office and its support networks. âHe is currently Inspector-General of Intelligence and Security, having held that role since June 2020. ...4 days ago
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Minister of Internal Affairs Brooke van Velden says the Government has agreed to the final regulations for the levy on insurance contracts that will fund Fire and Emergency New Zealand from July 2026. âEarlier this year the Government agreed to a 2.2 percent increase to the rate of levy. Fire ...4 days ago
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The Government is delivering regulatory relief for New Zealand businesses through changes to the Anti-Money Laundering and Countering Financing of Terrorism Act. âThe Anti-Money Laundering and Countering Financing of Terrorism Amendment Bill, which was introduced today, is the second Bill â the other being the Statutes Amendment Bill - that ...4 days ago
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The Government today released a request for information (RFI) to seeking interest in partnerships to plant trees on Crown-owned land with low farming and conservation value (excluding National Parks) Forestry Minister Todd McClay announced. âPlanting trees on Crown-owned land will drive economic growth by creating more forestry jobs in our regions, providing more wood ...4 days ago
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Court timeliness, access to justice, and improving the quality of existing regulation are the focus of a series of law changes introduced to Parliament today by Associate Minister of Justice Nicole McKee. The three Bills in the Regulatory Systems (Justice) Amendment Bill package each improve a different part of the ...4 days ago
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A total of 41 appointments and reappointments have been made to the 12 community trusts around New Zealand that serve their regions, Associate Finance Minister Shane Jones says. âThese trusts, and the communities they serve from the Far North to the deep south, will benefit from the rich experience, knowledge, ...5 days ago
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The Government has confirmed how it will provide redress to survivors who were tortured at the Lake Alice Psychiatric Hospital Child and Adolescent Unit (the Lake Alice Unit). âThe Royal Commission of Inquiry into Abuse in Care found that many of the 362 children who went through the Lake Alice Unit between 1972 and ...5 days ago
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It has been a busy, productive year in the House as the coalition Government works hard to get New Zealand back on track, Leader of the House Chris Bishop says. âThis Government promised to rebuild the economy, restore law and order and reduce the cost of living. Our record this ...5 days ago
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âAccelerated silicosis is an emerging occupational disease caused by unsafe work such as engineered stone benchtops. I am running a standalone consultation on engineered stone to understand what the industry is currently doing to manage the risks, and whether further regulatory intervention is needed,â says Workplace Relations and Safety Minister ...5 days ago
- Greater reporting on Treaty settlement commitments
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Mr Roger Holmes Miller and Ms Tarita Hutchinson have been appointed to the Charities Registration Board, Community and Voluntary Sector Minister Louise Upston says. âI would like to welcome the new members joining the Charities Registration Board. âThe appointment of Ms Hutchinson and Mr Miller will strengthen the Boardâs capacity ...5 days ago
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More building consent and code compliance applications are being processed within the statutory timeframe since the Government required councils to submit quarterly data, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says. âIn the midst of a housing shortage we need to look at every step of the build process for efficiencies ...5 days ago
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Mental Health Minister Matt Doocey is proud to announce the first three recipients of the Governmentâs $10 million Mental Health and Addiction Community Sector Innovation Fund which will enable more Kiwis faster access to mental health and addiction support. âThis fund is part of the Governmentâs commitment to investing in ...5 days ago
- New Zealand to assist Vanuatu on earthquake response
New Zealand is providing Vanuatu assistance following yesterday's devastating earthquake, Foreign Minister Winston Peters says. "Vanuatu is a member of our Pacific family and we are supporting it in this time of acute need," Mr Peters says. "Our thoughts are with the people of Vanuatu, and we will be ...5 days ago
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The Government welcomes the Commerce Commissionâs plan to reduce card fees for Kiwis by an estimated $260 million a year, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly says.âThe Government is relentlessly focused on reducing the cost of living, so Kiwis can keep more of their hard-earned income and live a ...5 days ago
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Regulation Minister David Seymour has welcomed the Early Childhood Education (ECE) regulatory review report, the first major report from the Ministry for Regulation. The report makes 15 recommendations to modernise and simplify regulations across ECE so services can get on with what they do best â providing safe, high-quality care ...5 days ago
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The Governmentâs Offshore Renewable Energy Bill to create a new regulatory regime that will enable firms to construct offshore wind generation has passed its first reading in Parliament, Energy Minister Simeon Brown says.âNew Zealand currently does not have a regulatory regime for offshore renewable energy as the previous government failed ...5 days ago
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Legislation to enable new water service delivery models that will drive critical investment in infrastructure has passed its first reading in Parliament, marking a significant step towards the delivery of Local Water Done Well, Local Government Minister Simeon Brown and Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly say.âCouncils and voters ...5 days ago
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New Zealand is one step closer to reaping the benefits of gene technology with the passing of the first reading of the Gene Technology Bill, Science, Innovation and Technology Minister Judith Collins says. "This legislation will end New Zealand's near 30-year ban on gene technology outside the lab and is ...5 days ago
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By , New Zealandâs Urban Search and Rescue (USAR) says impending bad weather for Port Vila is now the most significant post-quake hazard. A tropical low in the Coral Sea is expected to move into Vanuatu waters, bringing heavy rainfall. Authorities have issued warnings to people ...3 hours ago - Signs of the hÄ«koi: More than just ‘words on cardboard’
The placards seen at the HÄ«koi mĆ Te Tiriti conveyed "huge kĆrero with immediacy", expert says: "People know the power of the word." ...12 hours ago - A final Ode to .. King Luxon
Cosmic CatastropheThe year draws to a close.King Luxon has grown tired of the long eveningsListening to the dreary squabbling of his Triumvirate.He strolls up to the top floor of the PalaceTo consult with his Astronomer Royal.The Royal Telescope scans the skies,And King Luxon stares up into the heavensFrom the terrestrial ...19 hours ago - A hater and an enthusiast review The Royal Free by Carl Shuker
Spinoff editor Mad Chapman and books editor Claire Mabey debate Carl Shukerâs new novel about⊠an editor. Claire: Hello Mad, you just finished The Royal Free â overall impressions? Mad: Hi Claire, I literally just put the book down and I would have to say my immediate impression is ...21 hours ago - Survive to 25 (December, that is)
Christmas and its buildup are often lonely, hard and full of unreasonable expectations. Hereâs how to make it to Jesusâs birthday and find the little bit of joy we all deserve. Have you found this year relentless? Has the latest Apple update âfucked up your lifeâ? Have you lost two ...21 hours ago
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Despite overwhelming public and corporate support, the government has stalled progress on a modern day slavery law. That puts us behind other countries â and makes Christmas a time of tragedy rather than joy, argues Shanti Mathias. Picture the scene on Christmas Day. Everyone replete with nice things to eat, ...21 hours ago
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Asia Pacific Report âIt looks like Hiroshima. It looks like Germany at the end of World War Two,â says an Israeli-American historian and professor of holocaust and genocide studies at Brown University about the horrifying reality of Gaza. Professor Omer Bartov, has described Israelâs ongoing war on Gaza as an ...24 hours ago
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The New Zealand government coalition is tweaking university regulations to curb what it says is an increasingly ârisk-averse approachâ to free speech. The proposed changes will set clear expectations on how universities should approach freedom of speech issues. Each university will then have to adopt a âfreedom of speech statementâ ...24 hours ago
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Report by Dr David Robie – CafĂ© Pacific. – COMMENTARY: By Caitlin Johnstone New York prosecutors have charged Luigi Mangione with âmurder as an act of terrorismâ in his alleged shooting of health insurance CEO Brian Thompson earlier this month. This news comes out at the same time as ...1 day ago
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This report reflects that gap in our dealings overseas, and it shows that legislators, the public sector and businesses need to walk the talk. ...1 day ago - Government quietly scraps waste minimisation policies
The government has quietly cancelled plans to improve recycling and roll out a kerbside food scraps composting scheme. ...1 day ago
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Pacific Media Watch The union for Australian journalists has welcomed the delivery by the federal government of more than $150 million to support the sustainability of public interest journalism over the next four years. Combined with the announcement of the revamped News Bargaining Initiative, this could result in up to ...2 days ago
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The roads partnership unravelled under a confidential settlement this week, meaning NZTA will now finish off what it had said was incomplete work. ...2 days ago
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The number of people seeking help from Lifeline is expected to increase by 10 to 20 percent over Christmas. ...2 days ago
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One worker says the building is decrepit and falling down around them. ...2 days ago
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MONDAY“Merry Xmas, and praise the Lord,” said Sheriff Luxon, and smiled for the camera. There was a flash of smoke when the shutter pressed down on the magnesium powder. The sheriff had arranged for a photographer from the Dodge Gazette to attend a ceremony where he handed out food parcels to ...2 days ago
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Itâs a little under two months since the White Ferns shocked the cricketing world, deservedly taking home the T20 World Cup. Since then the trophy has had a tour around the country, five of the squad have played in the WBBL in Australia while most others have returned to domestic ...2 days ago
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Comment: If we say the word âdementiaâ, many will picture an older person struggling to remember the names of their loved ones, maybe a grandparent living out their final years in an aged care facility. Dementia can also occur in people younger than 65, but it can take time before ...2 days ago
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Piracy is a reality of modern life â but copyright law has struggled to play catch-up for as long as the entertainment industry has existed. As far back as 1988, the House of Lords criticised copyright lawâs conflict with the reality of human behaviour in the context of burning cassette ...2 days ago
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As he makes a surprise return to Shortland Street, actor Craig Parker takes us through his life in television. Craig Parker has been a fixture on television in Aotearoa for nearly four decades. He had starring roles in iconic local series like Gloss, Mercy Peak and Diplomatic Immunity, featured in ...2 days ago
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The Ćtautahi musician shares the 10 tracks he loves to spin, including the folk classic that cured him of a âcase of the give-upsâ. When singer-songwriter Adam McGrath returns to Kumeuâs Auckland Folk Festival from January 24-27, heâs not planning on simply idling his way through â he wants the late ...2 days ago
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Asia Pacific Report Fiji activists have recreated the nativity scene at a solidarity for Palestine gathering in Fijiâs capital Suva just days before Christmas. The Fiji Womenâs Crisis Centre and Fijians for Palestine Solidarity Network recreated the scene at the FWCC compound â a baby Jesus figurine lies amidst the ...2 days ago
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By 1News Pacific correspondent Barbara Dreaver and 1News reporters A number of Kiwis have been successfully evacuated from Vanuatu after a devastating earthquake shook the Pacific island nation earlier this week. The death toll was still unclear, though at least 14 people were killed according to an earlier statement from ...2 days ago
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A handful of foreign diplomats have misbehaved during their time here - and not all of them have been brought to justice. ...2 days ago
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Being able to swim is often considered a life skill, but tough economic times are forcing many families to pull their children out of lessons. ...2 days ago
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A West Coast IT worker is warning patients will die as Health New Zealand aims to slash its data and digital staff. ...2 days ago
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Former Labour MP and mayor of Auckland's North Shore City Ann Hartley has died. ...2 days ago
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The Government announced the end of the programme that allowed MÄori and Pacific people to acess bowel cancer screening at 50-years-old. ...2 days ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By William A. Stoltz, Lecturer and expert Associate, National Security College, Australian National University US President-elect Donald Trump has named most of the members of his proposed cabinet. However, heâs yet to reveal key appointees to Americaâs powerful cyber warfare and intelligence institutions. ...3 days ago
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Watch abouted five seconds of this, then got bored.
Oh well a merry xmas and happy new year to all.
John doesn’t deserve any Christmas cheer. He’s already out there ruining other people’s. “Merry Christmas. PS you’re fired. GTFO”
Ahh the incomparable Fall. Live at the Witch Trials which of course wasn’t live but a studio album. The Fall even made the top 10 in NZ around 1983 – Totally Wired. If you’ve seen Silence of the Lambs, the Fall’s Hip Priest provides the backdrop to the climatic scenes. Thanks for the memories IB đ
Merry Xmas to all regardless of colours of gray.
It could be worse John, you could be the lead singer of The Fall.