Spot the difference

Written By: - Date published: 3:48 pm, June 13th, 2014 - 84 comments
Categories: uncategorized - Tags:

Colin Craig son of god

I wonder if the poster on the left was inspired by the poster on the right?

84 comments on “Spot the difference ”

  1. Anne 1

    Get the feeling National are more “Self” than they are “Serving.”

    Listen to who’s talking!!

    • aerobubble 1.1

      Abortion is a crime, a crime Colin believes in, and wants the votes of people who believe its a crime.

      Progressives see an attack on women right to choose, choose how to live their lives, own property, marry who they want, and choose for themselves when it comes to their own body.

      Yet for decades, the fundamentalists wouldn’t listen, that women weren’t the best people to choose what was best for themselves.

      I don’t see how a women acting in self defense to remove a homicidal fetus can even be a crime.

      Women still die in child birth.

  2. dimebag russell 2

    craig is a fool. he suffers from the socratic disease. i.e. because he knows somehting he thinks he knows everything. plus his theology is shallow and paltry and un-christian. he is too busy trying to make people do what he wants them to do rather than finding out what they need and then trying to do something for them.

    • Macro 2.1

      +100

    • Harriet 2.2

      “…..Craig ……. he suffers from the socratic disease. i.e. because he knows somehting he thinks he knows everything…..plus his theology is shallow and paltry and un-christian……”

      Jesus never walked on earth being all nice and cuddly. I don’t have a problem with Mr craig speaking up. Or anyone else for that matter.

      And then you went on to say this:

      “…..he is too busy trying to make people do what he wants them to do rather than finding out what they need and then trying to do something for them…..”

      Can’t really remember Jesus doing too much for people – other than teaching them lessons – so that they can make better choices – and then do things all by themselves.

      Mr Craig is certainly on to human dignity – and it’s virtues of self reliance, resourcefulness ect there!

      Everyone is giving him the party vote as he’s different – he’s the counter culture – the cool one!

      • Colonial Viper 2.2.1

        Oh dear you are reaching – or is that retching.

        You also don’t appear to understand Christianity in the slightest while trying to pretend that you do.

        As for trying to compare Colin Craig to Jesus Christ in the same sentence…congratulations for baking today’s outstanding What The Fuck cake on The Standard.

        craig is a fool. he suffers from the socratic disease

        Don’t know what you are on about with here, Colin Craig doesn’t count but we sure could do with a few more politicians able to use the socratic method properly.

      • Populuxe1 2.2.2

        Which part of “mandatum novum do vobis ut diligatis invicem sicut dilexi vos ut et vos diligatis invicem in hoc cognoscent omnes quia mei discipuli estis si dilectionem habueritis ad invicem” do you not understand?

      • Tracey 2.2.3

        “everyone”?

      • phillip ure 2.2.4

        “..– he’s the counter culture – the cool one!..”

        ..but does he have a lava-lamp..?

        • Jenny 2.2.4.1

          With that big bulbous head he looks like a lava lamp rising up, just not half as animated. And a lava lamp that doesn’t move isn’t cool at all.

          He shouldn’t have ditched the Jesus look alike goatee beard.

        • Jenny 2.2.4.2

          With that big bulbous head he looks like a lava lamp rising up, just not half as animated. And a lava lamp that doesn’t move isn’t cool at all.

          He shouldn’t have ditched the Jesus look alike goatee beard.

      • Jake 2.2.5

        Sounds like your Jesus had been tainted by the 20th century / 21st century neo-con vision that says that only those who have the wherewithall to help themselves are going to get any help from the heavens above! What a load of old cobblers! I remember stories about Jesus feeding multitudes and surely that was a parable resting on his desire to help and serve the masses. No Jesus was not a right wing nutter who declared a belief in self reliance what ever that may be in what is the community of man.

      • dimebag russell 2.2.6

        I suppose he made his money writing crappy songs for hillsongs. all la la la me me me and f*ck everyone else.

  3. one is an actor playing jesus..

    ..the other is the body-double for e.t..?

    • Craig Y 3.1

      That’s insulting. There is no evidence that ET was ever a fiscal or social conservative, and anyway, he looked far too much like Ronald Reagan, although less senile.

      • phillip ure 3.1.1

        i did say just ‘body-double’..

        ..and i always thought that reagan looked like an anus stuck on a face..

        ..something to do with all those wrinkles..i think..

  4. shouldn’t it be ‘son of moon-landings-deniers’..?

    ..with the slogan being:..’i dunno..!..i wasn’t there..were you…?’

  5. could some clever person out there make a gif of him walking..?

    ..he has that unique gait..

    ..that elbow/arm action going on..

    ..that just screams for a soundtrack/to be gifed..

    ..and y’know..!..not everyone in national is a libertarian nihilist..(just key/joyce/collins etc etc..)

    ..and there must be many in that party internally screaming:..’no..!..f.f.s..!..he thinks the moon-landings were shot on a soundstage in the desert outside of phoenix..!..

    ..what are you thinking..?..

    ..we’d rather have peters than that clown..!..’..)’

    .you’d think..?

  6. Funny, before opening I tried to guess who, I picked moors murderer Ian Brady.

  7. JK 8

    I don’t believe it ! This isn’t a real poster, is it Mickey ? No-one would be so stupid as to put a poster like that out for electioneering, would they ? ? ?

    • mickysavage 8.1

      I wondered this too JK. But currently it is on the front page of http://conservativeparty.org.nz

      • lprent 8.1.1

        I thought it was a parody the first time it came up as well. It is freaking unbelievable.

        • Rodel 8.1.1.1

          Please voters. Realize it’s a psychiatric issue. We have enough unbalanced in our parliament already.

      • Tracey 8.1.2

        Jeebus, i assumed it was satire.

        If craig had principles he would be choosing his electorate now but he is too scared he will choose the wrong one… No courage

        • Jenny 8.1.2.1

          His electorate is in heaven.

          Unfortunately for him, few of the seraphim are enrolled and all of the cherubim are under age.

          • Jenny 8.1.2.1.1

            According to the bible heaven is not just inhabited by seraphim and cherubim but also good Christians who have died and then “ascended”. Unfortunately under New Zealand law the dead are not allowed to vote, and so poor ol’ Colin is out of luck there as well.

            oops! error… In the last line substitute the word poor for rich

    • Rodel 8.2

      JK Surely the poster is Crosby Textor inspired satire, to make right leaning voters rush back to National.

      How embarrassing having to admit to your children that you took this seriously let alone voting for it?

  8. JanM 9

    Hee hee – it’s the nose!

  9. Treetop 10

    The insider trader election countdown has a smell of money about it.

  10. Colonial Viper 11

    I’d be quite happy to put up these posters next to John Key’s face all over Dunedin.

  11. Armchair Critic 12

    Son of National? Nah, I reckon Bride of National is closer to the mark.

  12. Hami Shearlie 13

    With all that weight loss he’s so like Frank Spencer but without the kindness!

  13. yeshe 14

    but what does he mean by saying he will stop John Key becoming ‘son of Helen’ in smaller type ? just plain weird.

    • Anne 14.1

      I didn’t see that. What a bunch of sickos.

    • weka 14.2

      Yeah I don’t get the Helen bit. Or the son of National bit either. Maybe they’re fundie cultural references.

      • swordfish 14.2.1

        The “son of Helen” allusion presumably means ‘we will put the breaks on any Nat/Key tendency toward moral liberalism’. Then again, maybe it’s a suggestion that Clark had dictatorial tendencies (a common Tory meme) and that Craig will ensure Key doesn’t move in the same direction (to which I’d say: Too Late).

        “Son of National ?” seems to be a particularly vague and clumsy way of trying to differentiate Craig/the Cons from National. Presumably ties in with the idea of “serving” rather than “self” and of being truly conservative as opposed to Key – the “liberal” Son of Helen.

        That’s the closest I can come to making any sense of it. But, a really poorly thought out poster.

      • Tracey 14.2.2

        Why does he want to portray himself as the son of national… And confuse some fundies that he is in the national party and give their party vote to the wrong party

  14. emergency mike 15

    So, Craig is hoping to pick up those National voters who have become unhappy with National. Then he’s going to enter into a partnership with… National… In doing so he will be able to prevent John Key from becoming Helen Clark’s… son… You can believe this because Colin Craig is National’s… son… maybe (question mark).

    Oh or maybe The Christian party or whatever it’s called will be National’s ‘son’ when the enter into the coalition. And as the ‘son’ they will be able to keep John Key, the ‘father’ from becoming Helen Clark. (Myself I’m not so convinced that a) this might happen or b) that it would be a bad thing.) So what is the Holy Ghost then? This doesn’t seem clear in the poster, disappointing.

    If someone has a better way to interpret this I’d like to hear it.

    • the pigman 15.1

      It’s only when you objectively try and deconstruct this troubling image that it becomes truly non-sensical…

      Most of the electorate will just regard it as a ghoulish photograph it is.

      And boy, their font/sizing/bold/italics policy for their posters is as whacky as ever…

      • Tracey 15.1.1

        Bizarre… At best wont people think he is comparing himself to jesus, and at worst?

    • Anne 15.2

      Well I never ever did understand who or what the Holy Ghost was supposed to be, so in this case I’ll go for Helen Clark.

    • Dave 15.3

      Ha! Pretty traditional form of marriage if ya ask me. I mean, what more than 1% can this party get?

  15. swordfish 16

    Well, if he wants to be seen as a Christ-like figure then maybe we should just take him at his word and Nail him up !, Nail him up, I say !, Nail some sense into him !. Crucifixion ? Best thing the Romans ever did for us. And, if nothing else, IT’S TAUGHT ME TO RESPECT THE ROMANS !, AND IT’S TAUGHT ME THAT YOU’LL NEVER GET ANYWHERE IN THIS LIFE UNLESS YOU’RE PREPARED TO DO A FAIR DAY”S WORK FOR A FAIR DAY”S PAY !

  16. Jeepers that poster gave me the creeps – what the hell does it even mean, the whole poster doesn’t make any sense at all. I looked for the parody tags and seriously I wanted to find them.

    • i think it’s his batshit-crazy eyes..that give the poster that ‘edge’..

      ..and it cracks me up how the national cabinet must be so looking forward to being buddies with ‘col’…

      ..they could debate if the moon-landing happened or not..

      ..good times..!..good people..!

      ..but what ministerial role should he have..?

      ..where would he fit..?

      ..maybe let him set up a special commission..that he could head..to investigate if the moon-landings really happened or not..

      ..and of course he would be a great minister of silly-walks..

  17. joe90 18

    According to my trusty doppelgänger field guide the likeness is a text book example of a spectral apparition.

    • miravox 18.1

      Haha. Could be implausible trope. But spectral apparition has a religousity about it so seems good to me.

  18. veutoviper 19

    WO – and he who will not be named at YourNZ – now have up another unbelievably bizarre Conservative Party poster entitled “They’re OUT OF CONTROL running around as if THEY OWN THE PLACE”.

    I won’t provide links, to WO or YourNZ on principle and cannot seem to copy the poster itself to provide a link. Hopefully someone here who is more tech-savvy will do so and post it here as it is definitely a Must See!

    In brief it focusses on Key, English, Joyce and Charlie Wilson and presents them as cocks of the chicken variety with brief ‘notes’ on each – and a centre comment ” Let’s put them back in the coop September 20″.

    How not to win friends and influence people. IMO, if this goes viral, it could be the end of any accommodation by National to the Conservatives.

    Incidentially, the poster is not on the Conservatives’ website, but does bear a Conservative Party authorisation.

    • veutoviper 19.1

      As I noted in the above comment, WO – and he who cannot be named in case he appears – have posted yet another bizarre Conservative Party poster that has to be seen to be believed.

      Here it is (only the poster, not the YourNZ post)

      https://yournz.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/conservative-back-in-the-coop.jpg

      As I said above, it was not on the Conservative Party website when I checked earlier today. And I amend my final comment above to “does bear a Vote for the Conservative Party motto”, rather than authorisation.

      Is it for real?

      • swordfish 19.1.1

        Two very odd and pointless posters. You have to wonder who the hell they think their target audience is.

      • swordfish 19.1.2

        And it does, in fact, seem to be an officially authorised poster.

        Bottom-left corner says CONSERVATIVEPARTY.ORG.NZ”

        And then immediately below: AUTHORISED BY (then indiscernible name) ALBANY, AUCKLAND

        Then again, this authorisation could, I guess, be fake ? If you were a Conservative Party supporter you’d have to hope so.

  19. Craig Y 20

    What, even more so than Colin’s ruminations that he’s (ahem) ‘neither one way nor the other’ and has been seriously talking about crossbench occupation if the Nats are foolish enough to gift them a seat or help them over the MMP five percent threshold? I think that may have started the current distancing on the centre-right, as well as the Conservative Party’s continually basement level opinion polling. And Peter Dunne hates their guts for an obvious reason (spelt Gordon Copeland). It’s also difficult to see the Maori Party working with them, given the Conservatives radical anti-Treaty stance.

  20. yeshe 21

    The arrogance very clear to me is that if McCully, professor of the darkest arts, relinquishes his East Coast Bays seat so late that National cannot/ will not nominate another candidate in his place, as suggested on Stuff this morning … by what polling/logic or insanity do they simply assume that National voters will be so easily manipulated to vote for batshit crazy Craig instead? How will voters be with this arrogant arrangement? Me? I would automatically be forced to vote Green or IMP !

    Why would they vote Chemtrail Colin ? East Coast Bays ? My dahling boy, jesting you must be !!

    link if you can bear it:
    http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/politics/10156727/Bays-may-be-Craigs-best-hope-of-a-seat

    • if key does this..and the scenario is totally plausible..

      ..this will be his desperate-dan move..

      ..the polls will be telling him he is heading for certain defeat..

      ..and et-impersonator craig will be the last sheet-anchor he will try/use..

      ..and many of his cabinet ministers will be breathing deeply..and going:..’dear god..!..no..!’..

      ..and begging key to not do it..or as last resort as a last resort..

      ..but should it come about/to that..mccully will slither away to a promised new sinecure/well-feathered nest..if told to..

      ..bennett is too personally ambitious to take one for the team..

      ..and mitchell barely seems to know what day it is..

      ..he is like a concussed lock-forward who has wandered into the wrong place..

      ..so mccully it is..

      • yeshe 21.1.1

        but what about the voters, I hear a pitiful cry ! What about us ?? Don’t we matter ?

        Of course not, says the nice honest Mr Key.

        • phillip ure 21.1.1.1

          well..the seat..(of my semi-rural childhood) has become a centre of white-flight/a white sth african colony….

          ..kind of the nelson of the north..

          ..so they will likely look warmly on craigs’ maori-bashing policies..

          ..and fundamentalist-christians of the type open to messages of hate/bigotry..will be thicker upon the ground there..

          ..than in other parts of auckland..

          ..in some ways it is a match made in..dare i say it..?..heaven…

          ..or is that..hell..?

          • yeshe 21.1.1.1.1

            what is become of us Phillip ? 🙁

            • phillip ure 21.1.1.1.1.1

              we are about to enter a period of major change..

              ..we have been in stasis..for the last 30 yrs..

              ..just the slow/steady grinding down from the randites/neo-libs in national and labour..

              ..and it is not only the environmental pressures forcing that upcoming change..

              ..it is the whole house of cards..

              ..when you have the pope coming out and saying the international financial system is in danger of collapsing..

              ..all while the richest are rich beyond their wildest dreams..

              ..inequality is thru the roof..etc..etc..

              ..you just know shit has to change..

    • Tracey 21.2

      It all comes down to whether mccully is prepared to end his behind the scenes napolleonic ways and be the ambassador to washington, or not.

  21. Tracey 22

    Son of national
    Son of helen
    Son of satan?

  22. dimebag russell 23

    the difference is that the tories only want money but craig wants to be God!

  23. Harry Holland 24

    Expect Craig to get stranger as the campaign progresses. He is very risky for National. The Nats best option is to go hard against him and drive his vote down to limit the damage to the right to about half a percent. If they accommodate him they could easily lose half a percent anyway by association as his narcissism becomes more and more apparent. I don’t see real upside for the right in the Conservatives, only risk.

  24. Mike the Savage One 25

    Sorry Micky, you can do better, this is a bit mischievous, cheeky and below the belt, I must say, hey, now I feel tempted to vote for Colin Craig, thanks for the “motivation”!

  25. Jenny 26

    Son of a National!

    Rewind the enlightenment, it was all a big mistake.

  26. memo to cc – your photos make you look creepy – no one wears a suit in the grass unless they are sneaking around and the pose is, well, better to take your shirt off to convey the pinup look more successfully.

    http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/politics/10159390/No-easy-ride-on-the-Shore-for-Craig

    • that’s a brilliant photo…

      ..imagine walking along the beach..and that popping up out of the sandhills..

      ..you’d run like the wind..

      ..eh..?

      ..he looks like tony abbot in his ‘wink-wink’-moment..

      • Anne 27.1.1

        …imagine walking along the beach..and that popping up out of the sandhills.. you’d run like the wind

        And then you’d call the police.

        • yeshe 27.1.1.1

          whoever is doing Craig’s posters and photos, I hope they maintain these astonishing standards over the coming weeks 🙂

  27. Te Reo Putake 28

    Separated at birth?

  28. wonderpup 29

    I tried to make the image a bit silly, but I think I just made it much, much creepier.

  29. Tanz 30

    It’s actually clever and daring. You all sound worried. CC is gaining traction.

    • “..You all sound worried. CC is gaining traction…”

      nah..!..he’s a batshit-crazy loon…

      ..we are just laughing like drains at him..

      ..nothing more..nothing less..

      ..and if it happens..and craig is a minister in the new tory govt..

      ..what would he be minister of..?..d’yareckon..?..(u as a fan..)

      ..all i cd come up with was ‘minister for silly walks’..

      ..yr thoughts..?

      ..and wd he and chris finlayson be ‘buddies’..?

      ..they cd exchange playful jibes on the topic of moon-landings: did they really happen..?

      ..and chem-trails:..what’s the story..?..

      ..and..creationism:..of course..!

      ..gays:..should we stone them..?

      ..good times..!..good people..!

      • phillip ure 30.1.1

        “..It’s actually clever and daring..”

        i’ll concede the ‘daring’…’clever’..?..nah..!..eh..?

        ..dumb/intuitive as a sack of doorknobs..more like it..