To be fair they probably don’t have much experience with spades

Written By: - Date published: 1:23 pm, November 24th, 2016 - 87 comments
Categories: humour, Minister for Photo-ops - Tags: , ,

key-adams-spade-fail

Later: “We look like a bunch of muppets.” Key unhappy the holes weren’t pre-dug at Mangawhai Heads.

87 comments on “To be fair they probably don’t have much experience with spades ”

  • Comments are now closed

  1. ianmac 1
    24 November 2016 at 1:35 pm

    A bit Un-kiwi to not be able to thrust a spade into soil? That’s the trouble with professional politicians. Fairyland.

  2. Nick 2
    24 November 2016 at 1:35 pm

    Trying to discover a good policy….. Can’t.

  4. Rosemary McDonald 4
    24 November 2016 at 1:45 pm

    Sods….

    Not being turned, or not turning?

  5. dv 5
    24 November 2016 at 1:50 pm

    Where a hammer when i need it.

  6. BM 6
    24 November 2016 at 1:50 pm

    They look like cheap shitty warehouse spades .

    Bet the soils like concrete too.

    • Andre 6.1
      24 November 2016 at 2:07 pm

      Oh the irony of those budget-cutters getting shown up as muppets by cheap and nasty tools not up to the task.

      • BM 6.1.1
        24 November 2016 at 2:29 pm

        A decent spade has to be sharp, have a decent amount of weight and the blade has to have a bit of thickness to it.

        A lot of guys actually chop off about a 1/3 of the blade off to cut down on on the amount of flex.

        • Clump_AKA Sam 6.1.1.1
          24 November 2016 at 2:32 pm

          Head never goes infront of the hips. And if you get tired and your head slumps forward, you’re doing it wrong

          • BM 6.1.1.1.1
            24 November 2016 at 2:45 pm

            I remember talking to this fencing contractor, he made his own spades.

            He’d go around the second hand shops finding the old spades because they’re a bit thicker than the new ones, cut about as third off the blade, chop the handle off and then weld on about a 2 metre bit of pipe to give to some serious weight.

            He gave me a demonstration, all you had to do was throw it at the ground like a spear and it could cut through the some seriously hard ground with very little effort.

            I upgraded after that.

            • Kevin 6.1.1.1.1.1
              24 November 2016 at 3:32 pm

              Who cares?

              Your hero is shit on the end of a spade, amongst other things.

              End of story.

              • Clump_AKA Sam …
                24 November 2016 at 3:51 pm

                The correct tool for the PMs ability is a pick axe, add a nail gun and guid wire. Who ever organises this clown show should be quietly congratulated

              • North …
                24 November 2016 at 4:19 pm

                Oh Kevin…….approaching retirement I find BM’s contribution quite interesting. Can’t see myself on “Last of the Summer Wine” terms with the bloke though……..were it to be I know whom he’d be. Hint: cheesecutter in tweed.

            • Red Hand 6.1.1.1.1.2
              24 November 2016 at 7:28 pm

              The brand ?

        • Macro 6.1.1.2
          24 November 2016 at 5:28 pm

          Exactly I still have my dads spade which he used as a linesman in the ’30’s in those days they dug the poles in by hand.
          I used it for fencing – especially good for strainers.

    • marty mars 6.2
      24 November 2016 at 2:25 pm

      Yep you’d struggle mate

      • BM 6.2.1
        24 November 2016 at 2:32 pm

        Fuck off, I spent years on a spade, I know how to use one.

        You on the other hand would be a complete and utter soft cock who’d fade after 5 mins or would pack it in because your hands got a bit tender..

        • McFlock 6.2.1.1
          24 November 2016 at 2:44 pm

          What’s the old line? – if you don’t get blisters, you’re not working hard enough. If you do get blisters, this is the first work you’ve done in your life, lol

          • BM 6.2.1.1.1
            24 November 2016 at 2:51 pm

            Yeah something like that.

            Having said that I don’t consider manual work to be “real work”, big problem in NZ is the little value people put on any work that involves using your brain.

            • marty mars 6.2.1.1.1.1
              24 November 2016 at 2:58 pm

              Thats your problem right there – digging is good honest hard work and anyone who says different just doesnt get it. For instance when diggibg a trench i often contemplate the people who went to war and had to dig them to survive!

            • McFlock 6.2.1.1.1.2
              24 November 2016 at 3:10 pm

              It’s never “real work” until you find someone who can do it really well, or you find someone who fucks it up badly, lol.

              applies to everything from manual labour to lawyering. 90% of the time everything potters along okay, but then one suddenly discovers the value of having someone decent at the job either through cockup or suprising brilliance.

            • esoteric pineapples 6.2.1.1.1.3
              24 November 2016 at 3:42 pm

              Good point. Years ago I watched an episode of Neighbours (one of the few times I ever have) and there was that guy with the long curly blond hair (who was in the show forever) who was standing there holding a broom and thinking, and another guy with him who said something like “Come on, let’s get working”. The blonde guy said “I am working”.

            • Red Hand 6.2.1.1.1.4
              24 November 2016 at 7:34 pm

              Try working in a massage parlour !

          • Robert Guyton 6.2.1.1.2
            24 November 2016 at 3:03 pm

            At the age of 15, on my first day in the pine forests on the blunt end of a slasher, I developed 13 blisters on my hands – I remember clearly, and had to dig deep to keep going the next day, and the next, and the next. First seriously physical job, that. BM’s got it right about spades – the old metal is weighted right, takes and keeps an edge. I too grind the blade down and sharpen with a file and a stone. Razor-on-a-stick, mind your toes!

            • BM 6.2.1.1.2.1
              24 November 2016 at 3:08 pm

              Surprising how many people don’t realise you need to keep your spade sharp for it to be effective.

              I’d say those spades Key and co were given had about as much sharpness as a mango slice.

              • Colonial Viper …
                24 November 2016 at 3:33 pm

                Sharpened entrenching tools were a favourite during WWII.

              • esoteric pineapples …
                24 November 2016 at 3:38 pm

                Thanks for the tip. I’d never thought of that. All politics aside, you really do seem to know what you are talking about when it comes to using a spade.

        • marty mars 6.2.1.2
          24 November 2016 at 2:49 pm

          Actually I’d make you look like a kid when i started shovelling or spadeing. I am expert and still do it while you rest on past glories.

          • ropata 6.2.1.2.1
            24 November 2016 at 4:38 pm

            Shovelling bullsh*t ya mean!? 😉

            Sorry couldn’t resist

            • marty mars 6.2.1.2.1.1
              24 November 2016 at 5:11 pm

              Lol only on here. Gravel is my favorite, but dirt is good. Hardpack not so much fun.

              • Draco T Bastard …
                24 November 2016 at 6:01 pm

                Gravel is easy to shovel. Hard pack is where you need the spade to break it up so that you can then shovel it.

                Never dig with a spade.

                • BM …
                  24 November 2016 at 6:08 pm

                  Grubber or pick axe, then a wide mouth shovel.

                  • marty mars …
                    24 November 2016 at 6:21 pm

                    Lol thanks lads good to know you know, you know.

                    • ropata …
                      24 November 2016 at 9:25 pm

                      Ever tried to dig out Scoria by hand? That was a waste of time… pickaxe made a few dents but I quit after a day of it. Builder should have hired a digger

                  • Andrea …
                    24 November 2016 at 9:41 pm

                    “grubber or pick axe”

                    Depends what you’re digging for, doesn’t it? Sometimes a long crow bar (using the pointy end) is a lot safer, with more control, than flailing away with a grubber or pick axe.

                    Of course, if you don’t mind repairing the holes in the alkathene, or explaining to the lines company just how you blew everyone’s power – no probs, eh?

                    Slow and steady and – brain on.

        • mauī 6.2.1.3
          24 November 2016 at 2:58 pm

          Yep, expert at digging virtual holes on blog sites.

        • Macro 6.2.1.4
          24 November 2016 at 5:31 pm

          Ok so now were are spinning the “bullshit”.
          Has anyone else dug a grave by hand?
          I mean 6ft by 3ft and 6ft down.

          • BM 6.2.1.4.1
            24 November 2016 at 5:52 pm

            Never dug a grave but I used to do paving work which involved a lot of hand dig outs.

            I remember one job, 80m2 dug out by hand over 10 cubic meters then followed by another 6m2 of pap 5 brought back in to form the base course, couple more cube of sand then the pavers.

            I was quite a bit fitter back then.

            • Macro 6.2.1.4.1.1
              24 November 2016 at 6:46 pm

              I only did it the once during a university vacation job. They gave an extra grave digger’s allowance 🙂

          • Draco T Bastard 6.2.1.4.2
            24 November 2016 at 6:05 pm

            Never dug a grave. Dug plenty of pits for working in about that size though. Always a PITA digging around the cables.

          • marty mars 6.2.1.4.3
            24 November 2016 at 7:03 pm

            Never dug a grave – big job. We sometimes name the gold holes – the swimming pool, the crater and so on – moving a bit, of cubic metres by hand, usually and often rocky with gravel and the beautiful sound of the river and scrunch of the shovel, ahhhh I love my hobby.

            • joe90 6.2.1.4.3.1
              24 November 2016 at 7:53 pm

              You ain’t lived until you’ve been out in the hills digging holes. On site at seven, fed by eight and set out with shovel, digging bar, litres of water frozen in plastic milk bottles and a radio to listen to the cricket.

              Depending on terrain, pole size, and span each gang member had x number of holes to dig and because poles were helicoptered in and erected by hand a tight fit was required so holes were usually 6/800mm2 + step x 1.8 – 2 metres deep.

              Oddly enough for such laborious work, unlike bog standard town jobs and trenching, time flew and you’d be done by three and after a swim on the way, home by five.

              • Cricklewood …
                24 November 2016 at 9:22 pm

                I’ve done mountains of hand digging, in order of difficulty hard to go past the volcanic stuff around mount eden, rotten rock in welly and lastly river flats around Upper Hutt where there is 20cm of silt then layer after layer of river boulder.
                Give me clay any day.
                I’ve got half a dozen old spades I’ve customized with different sized heads and handles each suited to a slightly.different job and a couple of newer fencing spades which are strong enough to use as levers.
                Something strangely cathartic about digging a large hole wit the right tool…

        • Red Hand 6.2.1.5
          24 November 2016 at 7:30 pm

          You were the one being used I reckon.

  7. Robert Guyton 7
    24 November 2016 at 1:51 pm

    National’s weak grip on the levers of power.

  8. Cemetery Jones 8
    24 November 2016 at 2:02 pm

    There’s a sod needs turning.

  9. Robert Guyton 9
    24 November 2016 at 2:31 pm

    “They look like cheap shitty warehouse spades .”

    They do. The tools they have in their hands look cheap too.

  10. Robert Guyton 10
    24 November 2016 at 2:36 pm

    Key and his pals, failing to dig the dirt on anything, let alone Labour.

  11. ianmac 11
    24 November 2016 at 3:02 pm

    Note that Key is Left footed. A great indicator of mistrust?

    • mac1 11.1
      24 November 2016 at 10:15 pm

      Hadn’t noticed that- I am a right foot kicker but I dig with the left leg, right handed but I chop left handed and fight as a southpaw- really untrustworthy……..

      Anyway, I’m very happy with a shovel in my hand, preparing for potatoes. I put it down to the Irish heritage.

      At university I had a holiday job as a coal trimmer- used to empty three 12 ton wagons in a shift. The bad days were when, luckily rarely, the hopper feed system failed and an entire tyre factory depended upon the steam generated by my ability to throw coal from a barrow 3 metres up into the hopper of the furnace.

      Norm Kirk used to be a stationary engine driver in the same boiler house, but before my time.

  12. greywarshark 12
    24 November 2016 at 3:29 pm

    That’s what we need in NZ some active people doing sod-turning.

    • North 12.1
      24 November 2016 at 4:40 pm

      “Sod-turning!”. That’s the ugly hysteria much disseminated by loonies at the time of homosexual law reform. How wrong they were ! And they’ve never apologised. Just rushed off to their next dirty thought !

  13. Pete 13
    24 November 2016 at 3:43 pm

    I heard that a sod was being turned up North but neither the coverage on tv and here doesn’t show him turning at all.

  15. North 15
    24 November 2016 at 4:31 pm

    Love the one max two lines comments. Shows how lampoonable is the faux of them.

  16. Macro 16
    24 November 2016 at 5:20 pm

    3 sods turn up for a photo shoot.

  17. The Chairman 17
    24 November 2016 at 6:16 pm

    “To be fair they probably don’t have much experience with spades”

    With the amount of shit they shovel one would expect they are well experienced.

  18. Thinkerr 18
    24 November 2016 at 7:25 pm

    “This Sod’s not for turning…”
    (apologies to the late Dame Thatcher)

  19. doc 19
    24 November 2016 at 7:55 pm

    NOT THE USUAL DIRT THEY’RE USED TO DIGGING

  20. ropata 20
    24 November 2016 at 9:33 pm

    john key comes around for a working bee on the farm do you give him
    5% … a hammer
    5% … a spade
    16% … a chainsaw
    74% … put him in the tea room
    — Morgan Godfery (@MorganGodfery) November 23, 2016

    • mosa 20.1
      25 November 2016 at 9:07 am

      A National PM with a chainsaw…its like giving the arsonist a can of petrol and a lighter.

      • ropata 20.1.1
        25 November 2016 at 11:34 am

        Key is more likely to hurt himself with a chainsaw than anybody else.

        Safer for the country if he’s busy doing that rather than selling public assets or doing sly deals with big corporations

  22. Ffloyd 22
    24 November 2016 at 10:54 pm

    Should have given me a shovel. Can release more crap with one of those.

  23. mosa 23
    25 November 2016 at 9:01 am

    I was hoping they had begun to dig their way to China and upon arriving stay there.

  24. r0b 24
    25 November 2016 at 10:06 am

    I think the best part is the pretty blue ribbons.

  25. marty mars 25
    25 November 2016 at 10:57 am

    I have to say I have been heartened and impressed by the good commenters on this post describing how they shovel and spade. BLOODY GOOD

  26. marty mars 26
    25 November 2016 at 10:59 am

    I have to say I have been heartened and impressed by the good commenters on this post describing how they shovel and spade. BLOODY GOOD!!! I say (even you BM and your ability to be baited), this gives me a lot of hope for the future – thank you everyone especially dickheadkey showing what a non he is.

  27. The PInk Postman 27
    25 November 2016 at 12:07 pm

    I wonder what the late but great Mabel Howard would have said regrading these plonkers and her belief that”all workers are skilled’

  28. The PInk Postman 28
    25 November 2016 at 12:11 pm

    I wonder what the late but great Mabel Howard would have said regarding these plonkers ,who believed that “all workers are skilled.”

  29. philj 29
    25 November 2016 at 5:29 pm

    “We look like a bunch of muppets.”
    Finally I agree with the PM!

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