web analytics
The Standard

Bridges over troubled waters

Written By: - Date published: 11:17 pm, October 17th, 2013 - 43 comments
Categories: uncategorized - Tags:

Simon Bridges rose to John Banks’ defence in today’s snap debate in Parliament. For one of National’s supposed bright hopes, a leader of the future we are told, I thought he was pretty pathetic. It took him a long time to work out what his point was. You can watch him trying to find it here.

Contrast it with Grant Robertson’s superb speech here. I think the tide is running out for National.

43 comments on “Bridges over troubled waters”

  1. Not Another Sheep 1

    Grant Robertson’s speech was superb. “Terminological inexactitude.” brilliant euphemism.

    Winston’s was the real ‘cut and thrust’ recalling the history of National from earlier terms and sticking it to Shonkey at the same time for not ‘learning lessons’. ” ..parachute out of a snake’s bottom…?”

    The combined astute speeches tolling the death knell. http://inthehouse.co.nz/node/21504

  2. Mary 2

    Spot all the near Freudian slips. Marvelous stuff.

  3. fender 3

    Yeah that’s a cardboard Bridge to nowhere, lame, he might be Brett Dale..

  4. Murray Olsen 4

    Has Bridges had a severe head injury at some stage? He really does seem simple.

    • Not Another Sheep 4.1

      No more dopey than simple, I think he’s just under effects of Resperine perhaps.. needed after his braying ‘episode’ on Campbell aspiring to be the next show pony.

  5. North 5

    WTF was all that from Wee Simon ?

    Talk about punkarse little Crown prosecutor !

    Roberston actually gave a real speech.

    • fender 5.1

      “Robertson actually gave a real speech.”
      +1

      And it was a good one that actually made sense, unlike the disjointed ramblings of the drunken(?) Bridges.

  6. Appleboy 6

    My god, you could hear his speech slowing down as he was thinking what the hell to say next. brain processing a little in deficit

    • Lanthanide 6.1

      Yes, one thing I noticed very early with Simon is that he often speaks very slowly and deliberately.

      I’m not sure whether it’s a by-product of him being a thicko, or a deliberate tactic on his part to give him more time to think of what he’ll say next, or simply a stalling tactic to ensure that for any given question, he fills up a lot of time without saying anything substantive.

      So basically boils down to:
      1. Side-effect of being a thicko
      2. Deliberate strategy on his part to compensate for his thickness
      3. Cunning ploy to avoid saying much in the time allowed

      Given his interview on Campbell Live, I’m strongly leaning towards #1.

      • David H 6.1.1

        “Yes, one thing I noticed very early with Simon is that he often speaks very slowly and deliberately.”

        Maybe he suffers from what ails David Shearer, He’s a stutterer.

        • fender 6.1.1.1

          Shearer may have delivery problems but he has a far superior brain than that of Bridges, imo. Bridges may not be carrying any dead snapper with him while attempting a speech, but there’s something more rotten wafting around him.

          The strange arm gestures Bridges employs reminded me of an Aussie Rules referee when points are scored, or was he shaking his beach towel on the desert island that is his intellect?

        • Lanthanide 6.1.1.2

          Possibly, but I think if he was a stuttering issue, he’d probably slip up at least occasionally?

      • Rogue Trooper 6.1.2

        more time to think about what would come naturally.

  7. muzza 7

    What a sad little man Bridges is.

    Did he get removed for using the phrase “numbskull policies” ?

    • miravox 7.1

      Good question, I don’t know the answer because I couldn’t listen past that point. Did I miss anything worthwhile?

      • David H 7.1.1

        No he could not even keep that line of horseshit up for the full 10 mins, petered out completely after 5 mins and 10 seconds. That alone should tell Banks even his mates think he’s toast.

      • muzza 7.1.2

        Didn’t watch much past the “numbskull” comment, I’ve got better use of time to make, than watch the disgace which is our lifes energy funded parliament “in effect”

  8. risildowgtn 8

    He speaks like his jaw is wired shut to stop the retardation from slipping out

    and he was a Crown Prosecutor?

    hahahahahaha

    • bad12 8.1

      i agree with you about the speech emanating from around a jaw tightly wired shut, there is something deeply disturbing going on just in behind wee simple Simon’s frontal lobe, on the odd occasion if you watch Him closely you will see a ‘flash’ of something across His eyes,(as if a rat has flicked it’s tail),

      The tightly wired jaw tho i believe is caused by the power rush Bridges still gets from having been elected to the Parliament in the first place, His very being gives off the impression that He is about to burst into shouting that ‘He is in charge here and why should He justify or have to explain anything to anyone’,

      Nick Smith in my opinion is also afflicted with the same ailment, the power rush of being made deputy under Doctor Dullard Don Brash is said to have had Nick running round the corridors of the Parliament barking orders at everyone, including the Labour opposition MP’s…

    • McFlock 8.2

      I think it might actually be a cop thing, being trained to speak slowly for the court recorder, and a tone that someone might confuse with gravitas.

  9. Tracey 9

    In the olden days of stenographers we had to speak so slowly and pause when pages ended… he may be too young to have it as an excuse. Prosecuting lawyers have always been notoriously boring speakers…

  10. phil 10

    What made me Lol was SB, in the debating chamber, impugning Metirei Turei, saying he expected higher standards from a lawyer! Pure comedy gold. Since The Government killed TVNZ7, parliarmentary TV is the most entertaining farce in our biased media.

  11. Willie Maley 11

    Simon and Katrina Shanks were gold on Back Benches back when it screened on TVNZ7.
    What a pair of numbskulls, proves the point that you could put a blue rosette on a sheep and the people in those electorates would vote for it.

  12. Wayne 12

    Don’t underestimate Simon.

    He is smart and he learns. He has a degree from Oxford. And his background should tell you he knows how to work to achieve his goals. And he knows the life and aspirations of middle New Zealand, having grown up in West Auckland.

    And my recollection is that he was engaging on Back benches and on the breakfast programme with Jacinda Adern.

    • Lanthanide 12.1

      He’s got a lot of learning to do.

    • Te Reo Putake 12.2

      I thought he claimed to have grown up in TGA. Or is lying part of what he’s learning?

      • Wayne 12.2.1

        Ah the “Tauranga boy” comment. Said as their representative (and because he is a relatively young MP, who looks youthful enough). It was not intended as literal assertion that he spent his boyhood in Tauranga.

        But I am sure you are smart enough to work that out.

    • Pascal's bookie 12.3

      It’s hard to learn to be not smarmy.

    • karol 12.4

      Maybe National Party people over-estimate Bridges, based on his CV and attempts to follow the Nat’s strategy of talking over people, attacking, diverting, and not answering questions?

      Hooton claimed on Citizen A that people in the National Party thought that Bridges’ performance on Campbell Live was really good. Seems to me such people can’t tell the difference between Key’s slick performance of the above strategies, and Bridges’ clumsy, shouty and off-putting attempt to do the same. Bridges’ also doesn’t seem that capable of thinking on his feet and adjusting his approach.

    • Rogue Trooper 12.5

      West Auckland =/= “middle New Zealand, that would be the Tory Channel

    • risildowgtn 12.6

      He is still an arrogant asshole

    • Murray Olsen 12.7

      1.A degree from Oxford isn’t worth what it used to be. I know some totally useless people with PhDs from Oxford.
      2. A background as a prosecutor suggests he was a useless lawyer who couldn’t go anywhere in private practice, and relied on lies and a huge well-funded machine dealing from a stacked deck.
      3. A prosecutor is more likely to know about the fears of middle New Zealand than the aspirations.
      4. He can be as engaging as many times as he likes. One petulant shouty dummy spit nullifies it all.

  13. Sable 13

    When you have nothing worthwhile to say then all you have is noise. Both Keys and now this character have shown that in spades…

  14. Tracey 14

    Wayne

    if by smart you mean cunning and calcukating, I agree.

    oxford aint what it used to be

  15. Rosie 15

    Interesting observations above Bridges’ style of speech and pace of speech. It’s got to be about personality (I use the word personality in its broadest sense in relation to Bridges) and motivation. He also does this thing when he has to spin ultimate bullshit – he drops his voice right down and it goes a bit robotic. I wonder if it was because as a little boy he was told not to tell lies, and he knows deep down that he shouldn’t really say bad things because God will punish him but the lies just have to squeak out of him. Jonathan Coleman does this a bit too, when he has to justify the unjustifiable.

    There really is malevolence living in that man. I see that flash across the eyes you’re talking about too bad12, lol. He gives me the creeps. Ugh.

    oh and PS, lolnats.co.nz , when you’re free. how about a series “Simon Bridges totally looks like Duckface”. He does a weird pouty thing as he tries to get the words out.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • How many victims missing out on protection?
    Hundreds of domestic abuse victims could be missing out on getting protection orders because they are unable to get legal aid, Labour’s Justice spokesperson Jacinda Ardern says.“In the last two years some 351 people who applied for legal aid for… ...
    1 day ago
  • Government kicks hardworking whanau
    A major incentive to help young Kiwis and people on low incomes to start saving has been kicked out from under them with the National-led Government ramming through short-sighted legislation under Urgency today, Labour’s Maori Development Spokesperson Nanaia Mahuta says.… ...
    1 day ago
  • Speculator tax political stunt gone wrong
    Bill English’s admission he doesn’t know whether National’s new speculator tax will have any effect shows last weekend’s announcement by the Prime Minister was a desperate political stunt, says Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford. “This Government is so desperate to… ...
    1 day ago
  • The value of parenting
    This week, as part of the Budget, the government introduced a bill to address child poverty. This bill will require parents receiving income support to look for part-time work once their youngest child is three years of age rather than… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    1 day ago
  • Another new tax, another broken promise
    National has unveiled yet another new tax in this budget – a rural broadband levy that will almost certainly result in an immediate price hike for internet and telephone connections across New Zealand, Labour’s ICT spokesperson Clare Curran said “The… ...
    2 days ago
  • Anniversary of Sri Lankan Tamil Massacre
    This is not going to be a happy story but if the Green Party of Aotearoa doesn’t want to know who else will? May 18th marks the anniversary of what is known as the ‘Mullivaikal massacre’ of Tamils in 2009 at… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    2 days ago
  • Labour MPs join youth to take part in 40 hour famine
    A team of Labour MPs took part in the 2015 World Vision 40 hour famine and we were told by World Vision and the young people, that it was the first time MPs had joined them and how appreciative they… ...
    2 days ago
  • Rodeo: ‘Family entertainment’ or animal abuse?
    Recently  TVNZ ran a story with confronting footage showing rodeo animals being punched, repeatedly shocked with electronic prods and having their tails violently twisted over their backs. It was clear that significant force was being used behind the scenes to make… ...
    GreensBy Mojo Mathers MP
    2 days ago
  • Budget puts the squeeze on police
    The Government has cut funding to the New Zealand police force in the latest Budget, says Labour’s Police spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The reduction is a whopping $15.3 million that could put front line officers at risk. ...
    2 days ago
  • Crucial social services take another hit
    The Government looks set to slash half a million dollars of funding for critical social services, including Women’s Refuge and Barnados, says Labour’s Social Development spokesperson Carmel Sepuloni “Taking $500,000 from organisations aimed at improving the lives of vulnerable families… ...
    2 days ago
  • Saying it Loud on Climate in Christchurch
    The Government’s Christchurch consultation meeting on New Zealand’s emission targets was inspiring – not for what was in the Ministry for the Environment’s (MFE’s) defeatist video about the obstacles to changing to a low carbon future, but for what the… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    2 days ago
  • Budget silent on small business
    The Government has completely ignored one of the most important sectors of the economy – small and medium-sized enterprises – in Budget 2015, Labour’s Small Business spokesperson Jacinda Ardern says. "A stunning 41 per cent of jobs were created by… ...
    2 days ago
  • Thank you John, it’s been bloody marvellous
    The departure of John Campbell is a blow to current affairs investigative journalism, Labour’s Broadcasting Spokesperson Clare Curran says. “Campbell Live stood out in its field. Its axing comes as local broadcasting in New Zealand remains in a state of… ...
    2 days ago
  • KiwiSaver cut shows no long-term plan
    National’s cutting of the KiwiSaver kickstart is incredibly short-term thinking, typical of a Budget that is woefully short on ideas to generate wealth and opportunity, Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson says. “New Zealand’s savings rate is far too low. KiwiSaver… ...
    2 days ago
  • National hits the panic button for its 7th Budget
    National has hit the panic button for its 7th Budget in a desperate attempt to look like they’re taking action to reduce our shameful child poverty rates, but they are giving with one hand and taking with the other, Opposition… ...
    3 days ago
  • Panic and back-flips can’t hide twin deficits
    National’s token measures to fight fires they have left burning for seven long years can’t hide a Budget that is long on broken promises, short on vision and fails to reach surplus, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “After being… ...
    3 days ago
  • Auckland land measure seven years too late
    National are so desperate to look like they are doing something about the Auckland housing crisis they have dusted off Labour’s 2008 inventory of government land available for housing and re-announced it, says Labour’s housing spokesperson Phil Twyford. “Despite National… ...
    3 days ago
  • Access to gender reassignment surgery essential
    I was frankly disgusted to hear the Minister for Health say that funding gender reassignment surgeries is a “nutty idea”. A recent study found that in New Zealand 1% of young people identified themselves as transgender, and 3% were unsure… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    4 days ago
  • Global milk prices now lowest in 6 years
    The latest fall in the global dairy price has brought it to the lowest level in six years and shows there must be meaningful action in tomorrow’s Budget to diversify the economy, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “Dairy prices… ...
    4 days ago
  • Big risks as CYF checks stopped
    Revelations that Child, Youth and Family is no longer assisting home-based early childhood educators by vetting potential employees should set alarm bells ringing, Labour Children’s spokesperson Jacinda Ardern says. “Doing away with an extra mechanism for checking potential new employees… ...
    5 days ago
  • Housing crisis about real people not numbers
    The Government’s continued failure to tackle the housing crisis is seeing thousands of vulnerable Kiwis being kept off social housing waiting lists, while others, who are on the list, are being forced to live in cars and garages, says Labour’s… ...
    5 days ago
  • Housing crisis about real people not numbers
    The Government’s continued failure to tackle the housing crisis is seeing thousands of vulnerable Kiwis being kept off social housing waiting lists, while others, who are on the list, are being forced to live in cars and garages, says Labour’s… ...
    5 days ago
  • State of origin
    Kiwis are increasingly concerned about the food they give their families. New Zealand consumers have the right to know where their food has come from, particularly when it involves animals, and should be able to expect our Government to label… ...
    GreensBy Steffan Browning MP
    5 days ago
  • Relationships Aotearoa
    It is disturbing that Relationships Aotearoa, a voluntary organisation set up in 1949 to help couples struggling with their relationships following the upheavals of World War II, may be forced to close, says Acting Spokesperson for the Voluntary and Community… ...
    5 days ago
  • An economy that is just working for some is an economy that is not working
    The National Party presents itself as a great manager of the economy, but if the economy is only working for some we really need to question that assertion. Alongside the perpetually elusive surplus, the levels of risk in our economy are… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    5 days ago
  • An economy that is just working for some is an economy that is not working
    The National Party presents itself as a great manager of the economy, but if the economy is only working for some we really need to question that assertion. Alongside the perpetually elusive surplus, the levels of risk in our economy are… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    5 days ago
  • House prices to a crack $1 million in 17 months
    The average Auckland home is on track to cost $1 million in 17 months’ time if nothing substantial is done to rein in soaring price rises, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “Auckland’s house prices have skyrocketed 63 per cent… ...
    5 days ago
  • Vital support services can’t be left in lurch
    The National Government has big questions to answer about how a provider of services to thousands of vulnerable New Zealanders is set to fold, Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson says. Relationships Aotearoa which provides support and counselling to families, individuals… ...
    6 days ago
  • Treasury and IRD on a capital gains tax
    Both the Treasury and IRD have been advising the National Government on the benefits of a capital gains tax. Documents released to the Green Party under an Official Information Act request show that John Key has been selective with the… ...
    GreensBy Russel Norman MP
    6 days ago
  • Charity legislation needs review
    It is unacceptable that the big corporate based charities claim  millions in annual income tax exemptions, while small community based and operated non-profit organisations  struggle to gain official charity status, Labour’s acting spokesperson for the Voluntary and Community Sector Louisa… ...
    6 days ago
  • John’s panic-Key response to housing crisis
    John Key needs to tell New Zealanders what caused his sudden change of heart that led to the Government’s scrambled and last-minute housing measures, Opposition Leader Andrew Little says. “The Prime Minister’s sudden rush of blood to his head followed… ...
    6 days ago
  • Keep our Assets Christchurch Campaign: An update
    I recently presented my submission to keep Christchurch Council assets at the Christchurch City Council’s public hearings on its 10 year plan on 13 May. The hearings are live-streamed and recorded so you can watch them on www.ccc.govt.nz. The Council’s… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    6 days ago
  • John Key finally admits there’s a housing crisis
    John Key’s weak measures to rein in the astronomical profits property speculators are making are an admission – finally – that there is a housing crisis, Labour Leader Andrew Little says. “But yet again National is tinkering with the housing… ...
    1 week ago
  • Government stifles voices in CYFs review
    The Government’s exclusion of the Māori Women’s Welfare League in a panel on the future of CYFs is a cynical ploy to stifle views, says Labour’s Māori Development Spokesperson Nanaia Mahuta. “It's unbelievable that a significant review on the future… ...
    1 week ago
  • Speech to the Otago Chamber of Commerce
    Thank you very much for the opportunity to be here today. It’s a pleasure as always to be back in the town that raised me. Growing up in St Kilda meant that there was one thing that was a big… ...
    1 week ago
  • Key can’t just be Prime Minister for Parnell
    John Key must show New Zealanders in next week’s Budget that he is more than the Prime Minister for Parnell, and is also the Prime Minister for Pine Hill, Putararu and Palmerston North, Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson says. In… ...
    1 week ago
  • Stop the conversions
    This week, some Waikato locals took me and intrepid photographer Amanda Rogers on a tour of some  lakes and waterways in their region, and up to the massive dairy conversions in the upper catchment of the Waikato River. It… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    1 week ago
  • More regional jobs go in Corrections reshape
    News that 194 Corrections staff are to lose their jobs will have ramifications not only for them and their families but for the wider community, Labour’s Corrections spokesperson Kelvin Davis says. Prison units at Waikeria, Tongariro and Rimutaka face closure… ...
    1 week ago
  • Government’s climate meetings off to a bumpy start
    On Wednesday, I attended a hui and an evening meeting that the Government had organised in Nelson as part of its climate change consultation tour, to support the Nelson community telling the Government to take meaningful action on climate change.… ...
    GreensBy Steffan Browning MP
    1 week ago
  • Taxpayers the only ones left feeling blue
    Ministry of Social Development bosses could have saved themselves thousands of dollars in consultants’ fees by providing staff with rose-tinted spectacles, Labour’s State Services spokesperson Kris Faafoi says. A report out today reveals the Ministry is spending over half a… ...
    1 week ago
  • Why are the regions still facing restrictions?
    Labour's Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford is questioning why the regions should continue to be saddled with LVR lending restrictions announced by the Reserve Bank today. “Labour has been calling for the regions to be exempted from LVRs for the best… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • The high costs of weak environmental regulation
    Te Waihora/Lake Ellesmere is described on the Department of Conservation website as “Canterbury’s largest and New Zealand’s fifth largest [lake], and an internationally important wildlife area.” But the lake is also polluted by nutrients leaching from farms in the catchment.… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    2 weeks ago
  • Submissions to Wellington City Council on their Gambling Venues Policy
    Every three years Councils across the country are required to check that their gambling venue policies are still fit for purpose and they can choose to consult on their policy if they are thinking of making changes. Councils don’t have… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    2 weeks ago
  • Reserve Bank action shows Govt out of touch and out of ideas
    The Reserve Bank’s unprecedented measures today show it understands the serious risks of the overheating housing market – in complete contrast to John Key’s refusal to acknowledge the crisis, Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson says. “The Bank is right to… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Send us your snaps: 25 Years of the Green Party
    This year we've hit a milestone. We're turning 25.To help celebrate a quarter of a century, please send us your photos from the last 25 years of the Green Party Aotearoa New Zealand! Note: Photos must be jpg, gif or… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • 25 Years of the Green Party
    This year the Green Party sends 25. To help us celebrate a quarter of a century please send us you photos of 25 years of the Green Party!Photos must be jpg,gif or png and smaller than 2MB. If you are… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Bay growth plan too little too late
    Today’s Bay of Plenty growth study from MBIE is another example of Government spin - lots of talk but little action, says Labour’s Regional Development spokesperson David Cunliffe.  “This is a region that desperately needs to develop the downstream processing… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Government bows to ACC pressure
     The Government has finally buckled to pressure from Labour and the New Zealand public in making a half billion dollar cut to ACC levies, but the full benefits are two years away,” says Opposition Leader Andrew Little.  “$500 million over… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • False figures cloud Auckland transport facts
    The Prime Minister should apologise and issue a correction after both he and Transport Minister Simon Bridges have been caught out misrepresenting facts on Auckland’s transport spending, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. "Both John Key and Simon Bridges have… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Govt books confirm National can’t post surplus
    The last publication of the Government’s books before the budget shows National will break its promise of seven years and two election campaigns and fail to get the books in order, says Labour’s Finance Spokesperson Grant Robertson. “The Government is… ...
    2 weeks ago

Public service advertisements by The Standard

Current CO2 level in the atmosphere