Dear John… UPDATED

Written By: - Date published: 6:11 pm, April 22nd, 2015 - 65 comments
Categories: uncategorized - Tags: ,

Today the National Council of Women and the Equal Opportunity Commissioner and the Human Rights Commission have felt compelled to explain how to behave correctly toward others. To the Prime Minister of New Zealand.

To those who say it’s a storm in a teacup, an over reaction, I say:

It’s time you grew up and learned to respect women and children in particular, and men and boys too. It’s time you understand that if you are having fun with someone else, “horsing around”, it is only fun if they are having fun too. It’s not always all about you. I know you want it to be. I know you find it hard to share. I know you find it hard to have to respect other people that aren’t like you. I can see you find it hard to think about others before you speak and act. But, here’s the rub. It’s only hard for you and people like you. Everyone else gets it. When the Prime Minister doesn’t get it (think about that for a moment  the Prime MINISTER DOESN’T GET IT!), then we are not over- reacting. We have a problem. All of us, and that problem extends to include those who don’t think it is a problem. You are part of the problem and you are harming women and children in ways you do not yet comprehend. In small ways, maybe even daily.

So, is there a pattern…

Richard Worth resigned, not sacked for persistent sexual harassment;

Roast-busters just need to grow up;

I wont apologise for being a man in the context of sexual violence toward women being perpetuated by mostly men;

Comment about his wife’s IRD form (“stud screwer” as her occupation);

Victim of attempted rape, Tania Billingsley, promised apology-apology not given cos not serious enough;

Conveyed to Chillean Leader it was funny that a pedophile was let loose by NZ in her country;

Sabin promoted to Law and Order Committee Chair with a police investigation hanging over him for as yet unconfirmed acts;

Someone from PM’s office tacitly supporting former CERA CEO, Sutton’s version of events at resignation press conference for sexual harassment;

Fondling child’s  pony tail during campaign 2014;

Behaviour of an unconsented nature for months involving a stranger’s pony tail;

UPDATED  And this one‘

UPDATED 3:11pm 23/04/201 And another one fingering another little girl’s hair. Not a ponytail but braids. Very brief at 2:15.
  (h/t ianmac)

UPDATED 3:21pm Note the expression on his face. Playful?

But while Women’s Minister Louise Upston released a statement repeating Key’s apology, she refused to comment on issues of women’s rights in the workplace. 

“As the Prime Minister has said his actions were intended to be light-hearted. It was never his intention to make her feel uncomfortable,” she said.

Prime Minister John Key apologised to Auckland waitress Amanda Bailey for repeatedly pulling her hair.

 “He said that in hindsight it wasn’t appropriate, and that is why he apologised.”  Louise Upston Fraudulently taking taxpayer money to pretend to masquerade as Minister for Womens Affairs

Now consider …

What exactly do you have to consider?

65 comments on “Dear John… UPDATED ”

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  1. Hateatea 1
    22 April 2015 at 6:43 pm

    I would like John Key to consider whether or not he still feels fit to be the Prime Minister of New Zealand but in the real world that I live in it will probably be ‘ackshully, I thought she liked it so I did it again and again because, ackshully, no doesn’t really mean no, does it? It does mean no? Here, have some bottles of wine and then we will all be ok. Ok?’

  2. Karen 2
    22 April 2015 at 6:52 pm

    Thank you for this Tracey. You have summed it up perfectly.

  3. Matthew Whitehead 3
    22 April 2015 at 7:15 pm

    You have to consider whether you’re an adult who thinks this culture of harassment in government is acceptable, even if it’s not all overtly rapey or directly sexualised harassment, the attitude boils down to the same thing: You don’t think you need someone’s consent to violate their personal space or their bodies.

    That’s not an okay meme to be engaged in. It’s a big deal if you give any shit about women being respected, or about respect in general.

  4. esoteric pineapples 4
    22 April 2015 at 7:32 pm

    What a lot of men don’t understand is that what seems harmless to them becomes a big problem for women when it is repeated again and again by other men they deal with. They have no idea of the amount of times female staff who work in cafes and restaurants get hit on by males. They think they are the only ones.

    • weka 4.1
      22 April 2015 at 7:36 pm

      Some men also apparently don’t understand power differentials. Or they do but don’t care (which I think is the case in this situation).

      • Stephanie Rodgers 4.1.1
        22 April 2015 at 10:22 pm

        This is my sense too, weka. It’s not good-natured obliviousness – if it were he would have stopped the first time his actions weren’t welcomed. It’s entitlement, based on gender, wealth, status … take your pick.

    • Anna 4.2
      23 April 2015 at 11:40 am

      My guy gets it from women and he hates it – e.g. touching him like what has happened on Breakfast, TV One, this am. Women need to get it that guys don’t always like it either.

      • tracey 4.2.1
        23 April 2015 at 11:50 am

        Understood which is why the bit in quotes in the post begins

        “It’s time you grew up and learned to respect women and children in particular, and men and boys too.”

  5. weka 5
    22 April 2015 at 7:35 pm

    Good list tracey. Well done the NCW on that letter too.

  6. Craig Glen Eden 6
    22 April 2015 at 8:05 pm

    Well done Tracey you have nailed it.

  7. meconism 7
    22 April 2015 at 8:23 pm

    Thanks Tracey, I agree with your assessment and thank you for posting it.

  8. Murray Rawshark 8
    22 April 2015 at 8:59 pm

    Key thinks he’s entitled to do whatever he likes. It’s no surprise to me that he includes inappropriate touching in that. He has the arrogance of royalty. How the hell did so many of us fall for the dangerous idiot?

    • Sable 8.1
      22 April 2015 at 9:07 pm

      You can thank the wheezy, verbally flatulent, sad old huckster that is NZ mainstream media for that. They have been saying he’s wonderful come what may…..

      • Murray Rawshark 8.1.1
        22 April 2015 at 9:10 pm

        I suspect it would have started much earlier, even before he got rich. I doubt if anyone has really said “no” to him until the waitress. He would have been unfamiliar with the concept.

  9. jenny kirk 9
    22 April 2015 at 9:05 pm

    Thank you Tracey. I totally agree with you. What can we do about our shameful PM ?

  10. In Vino 10
    22 April 2015 at 9:29 pm

    Well said, Tracy.

    I am a secondary school teacher, and I so rarely see hair-pulling. I tend to ask them if they are still at the Primary/Intermediate school down the road when I see immaturity like that.

    I am cautious about calling for resignation, but the video from Campbell live makes our PM look a bit freaky.

    Either this is a surprising chip in the Teflon, or CT and Nats are going to come up with some startling cover or distraction…

    Unless it is a two-day wonder and nobody thinks much about it after that… But the freakiness is new, and may have far more influence than all the arguments about hungry children and income disparity should have had.

    If so, an even sadder commentary.

    • Lanthanide 10.1
      22 April 2015 at 10:49 pm

      “Either this is a surprising chip in the Teflon, or CT and Nats are going to come up with some startling cover or distraction…”

      Like Anzac day, although it’s would be in bad taste to say they engineered the 1st world war.

      • In Vino 10.1.1
        23 April 2015 at 12:15 am

        Not just bad taste. It would be dirty politics on the part of the Left, especially if convincing proof were provided.

  11. rawshark-yeshe 11
    22 April 2015 at 9:30 pm

    @Tracey .. did you see there are now four confirmed pony tail fondlings by Key … here

    http://thestandard.org.nz/open-mike-22042015/#comment-1003651

    Fine post you have written .. thx.

    • Tracey 11.1
      23 April 2015 at 7:19 am

      Rawshark, I can only see the same ponytail incident referred to several times. It’s the one I refer to in my post as the campaign 14 child ponytail caress. Perhaps I misunderstood what you meant?

      • rawshark-yeshe 11.1.1
        23 April 2015 at 11:31 am

        Hi Tracey .. some of us counted four proven ( if we count Amanda Bailey as a single one).

        1. Waitress Amanda Bailey at Rosie.

        2. The clip repeated on Campbell Live ( three children with adult woman in background) your campaign 14 child caress.

        3. The photo on Amy Adams website plus its caption

        4. The TVNZ clip … but are you saying this #4 and #2 are the same clip ?

        Then it’s three, not four.

        original conversation yesterday ..http://thestandard.org.nz/daily-review-22042014/#comment-1003639

      • rawshark-yeshe 11.1.2
        23 April 2015 at 4:58 pm

        Tracey .. hope you see this ( so much going on!) but there is another TVNZ clip so there are definitely four confirmed separate incidents ( still counting Amanda Bailey as a single one)’.

        Here is the extra clip with a little girl with pigtail braids and it is clearly fondling, not pulling … and the dialogue is just too creepy now :

        http://tvnz.co.nz/national-news/ponytail-saga-herald-admits-confusion-but-denies-deception-over-waitress-approach-6297557

        • rawshark-yeshe 11.1.2.1
          23 April 2015 at 5:12 pm

          @Tracey … have just seen your updates .. there are five confirmed images now.

          ( and the link I post above is working; the link you have at the top is not working to TVNZ .. they keep changing it around)

          1, Amanda Bailey

          2. TVNZ link of Campbell Live clip .. blonde ponytail with mother in background.

          3. Amy Adams page photo

          4. The dark braids with face obscured, TVNZ link above at 11.1.2

          5. Your updated 3.21 link you have of Key with his finger through a little girl’s dark curls. And no, I don’t think any sane person could categorise Key;s expression as ‘playful’. He is a pedo and adult hair fetishist. Yikes.

          @Tracey .. can you pse acknowledge this total so I know you have seen it ? Thx

  12. Mad Plumber 12
    22 April 2015 at 10:22 pm

    If someone played with my daughters ponytail he would be called a pervert and just find himself answering to the police I would hope. BUT because he is the PM I would be wasting my time.
    The whole episode is abuse of power, would I be brave enough to take on the PM and take the abuse and digging into my back ground?
    The waitress needs support because any dirt in her background will be looked for and flung back.
    Did the owner and other staff members feel intimidated?

  13. Reddelusion 13
    22 April 2015 at 10:33 pm

    Yawn yet another over reaction from the left that middle nz just won’t care, have your day of rage and move on, nothing to see here

    • In Vino 13.1
      22 April 2015 at 10:44 pm

      Ahhh, defending a possible fetishist, huh?

      If JK does actually get hurt by this sensational scandal sort of thing, I will be depressed. It should have been for income disparity, social injustice, hungry children, etc. O tempora, O mores!

      • Murray Rawshark 13.1.1
        23 April 2015 at 12:26 am

        There are plenty of fetishists who only ever act out their fetiches consensually. FJK is not one of them.

    • Draco T Bastard 13.2
      22 April 2015 at 10:54 pm

      It’s made the international headlines which does kinda indicate that people do care.

    • tricledrown 13.3
      22 April 2015 at 10:57 pm

      Blue Looney defending the indefensible

      • seeker 13.3.1
        22 April 2015 at 11:34 pm

        Not so sure reddelusion , this is a step far too far. Hair today gone tomorrow please God….
        I think ‘nice Mr. Key’ may need some therapy or counselling of the highest order for his very disturbing behaviour …for all our sakes.

    • ropata 13.4
      22 April 2015 at 11:32 pm

      you have nothing of substance delusional.
      all you do is hate on the left and anybody who speaks for the powerless.
      haters gonna hate.

      your shitty little neocon club has had its day in the sun and now its a dry crumbling turd.
      useful idiots like you still love the smell.

      key is a sick f*ck and you’re a bigoted arsehole.
      got it?

    • Tracey 13.5
      23 April 2015 at 7:20 am

      yea respecting other people and not touching people without consent is not important. Remember to tell your children reddelusion.

    • Merrial 13.6
      23 April 2015 at 8:54 pm

      @ Reddelusion: “Yawn yet another over reaction from the left that middle nz just won’t care, have your day of rage and move on, nothing to see here”

      Well, you would say that, wouldn’t you?

  14. adam 14
    22 April 2015 at 10:37 pm

    I think Tracy this song just sums up our PM. And much of his and others disconnect.

    • Tracey 14.1
      23 April 2015 at 7:25 am

      Creepy is spot on. I think all the people who are saying it’s nothing need to ask themselves a simple question

      when was the last time I consistently tugged on a stranger, even after I knew they wanted me to stop?

      For most the answer will be not since I was a child. If they answer that one question honestly, they will see.

  15. AmaKiwi 15
    22 April 2015 at 11:31 pm

    I’m getting some yellow yarn, making it into a pin-on pony tail, and wearing it to my next protest rally.

    Can some of you creative types come up with a sign I can pin to it?

    His p.r. crew have tried to get his pony tail fetish out of the news ASAP. It’s our job to not let him brush it aside.

  16. Adrian 16
    23 April 2015 at 12:35 am

    Don’t call it ponytail pulling, that makes it sound laddish, it’s (in the vids I’ve seen ) fondling, and it’s creepy and deviant.
    Oh, and he’s got to be finished this is just too, too far down weird as fuck track.

  17. Gruntie 17
    23 April 2015 at 4:43 am

    Pony tailing pulling fetish probably the tip of the iceberg – If Key is capable to doing this in a public place in the presence of Bronagh, what other “horsing around” stuff is he in to on overseas trips, in the privacy of his hotel room ?

    • Paul 17.1
      23 April 2015 at 8:34 pm

      I agree. All these incidents are done with cameras going off in front of him.
      When they go, what does he think acceptable then?

  18. linda 18
    23 April 2015 at 5:00 am

    perverted weirdos are called Johns

  19. Ken Martin 19
    23 April 2015 at 6:44 am

    Usually creeps’ sleezy repulsive behaviour is well established earlier on in their lives. Most rich and powerful people have a bloated sense of entitlement. What is disturbing about Mr Key’s ponytail blunders is the lack of gumption shown by his minders. The Diplomatic Protection Squad members could, being sworn police officers, have officially warned Mr Key. Too concerned about being transferred from a cushy job to do so? Deference and toadying reign. Mr Key’s teflon coating is wearing thin.

  20. veutoviper 20
    23 April 2015 at 4:08 pm

    For Tracey – yet another instance of Key and his hair touching to add to those in the post itself.

    https://twitter.com/martinderuyter/status/591051372931362816

  21. Hami Shearlie 21
    23 April 2015 at 5:01 pm

    Heard the name Uncle Pervy – says it all really!!

    • veutoviper 22.1
      23 April 2015 at 9:13 pm

      OMG!

    • Merrial 22.2
      23 April 2015 at 9:56 pm

      @ idlegus: Oh god, that last pic puts me in mind of a shot from late in the war of Hitler leering at a Hitler Youthist and ruffling his hair. This is so reminiscent! Sorry to introduce a form of Godwinism into the thread: it wasn’t intentional, but there it is: the resemblance is inescapable. My household agrees…

  23. feijoa 23
    23 April 2015 at 5:57 pm

    I’m getting alot of “webpage not available” Hope someone is taking screenshots………

  24. rawshark-yeshe 24
    23 April 2015 at 6:11 pm

    Tracey .. you better see the images from Bali that tv3 played on news tonight .. much more than we have seen ….shocking actually they even said he was being called a fetishist !! legally very interesting.

  25. humPrac 25
    23 April 2015 at 8:47 pm

    It reminds me of US Senator Joe Biden, look at the videos in the following links:
    https://youtu.be/_YaSlSaNvCc?t=1m3s
    https://youtu.be/_3Z3zxsbJFw?t=29s
    There’s many examples of him doing this.

  26. aj 26
    23 April 2015 at 10:02 pm

    I suspect John Oliver is going to be all over this shortly 🙂
    It be all over then.