web analytics
The Standard

Mission: whatevered

Written By: - Date published: 12:25 pm, July 24th, 2011 - 27 comments
Categories: Minister for Overseas Holidays - Tags:

Classic Key on his holiday very important series of very important meetings that were very important and achieved all kinds of important things: “I’ve got to be the luckiest Prime Minister of New Zealand in the last 25 years. I’ve come to Washington and every single person who we’ve met with from the Administration has wanted to see us”

That sounds like a real high standard: ‘I went meetings and the people there seemed like they wanted to be there! None of them sighed theatrically while I talked. I didn’t get tossed out on my ear once. And I’m pretty sure none of them jotted down little stickmen versions of me getting eaten by sharks on their notepads while pretending to listen to me! Well, apart from Gheithner’

But what did these meetings achieve? Pffff. If you care about that, you’re a dirty commie.

Truth is, Key achieved nothing. The trade meetings in LA were cancelled. His meeting with Obama had no outcomes. It was so unimportant that Obama couldn’t get Key[s]’s name right and cut the meeting to half its length. Obama’s press secretary didn’t even have any lines ready for the Kiwi journos.

Young got it right with her sarcastic opening:

The Wellington Declaration signed by US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton last November proclaiming a strategic partnership with New Zealand is not quite enough symbolism for New Zealand it seems.

Prime Minister John Key wants a visit by the US Marines as well as a US Coast Guard ship to visit.

Uniforms and ships, albeit white ships not grey ships, beat paper.

Remember that amazing Wellington Declaration and all it achieved. Well, hold on to your hats:

  • A visit from some marines! (forgetting we already have half a dozen marines based here at the embassy).
  • And a visit from the Coastguard! (well, maybe. Key asked by the Yanks didn’t say yes.)

What did any of this empty symbolism achieve? Why does no-one ask that question of Key? How does any of this put bread on our families’ tables. Guess if you ask that you’re just envious.

So, what is Key up to next after a week long holiday in the US? He’s off to Hawaii for some r and r.

27 comments on “Mission: whatevered”

  1. Colonial Viper 1

    Scrapbook filled: Mission Accomplished.

    Can now leave Parliament and leave NZ to make some serious money.

    • Deadly_NZ 1.1

      Well if we are lucky and the bank of America’s shares have plummeted in value, like it was reported he may have a big farkin hole in his blind trust now. One can hope.

  2. fabregas4 2

    Embarrassing for once proud NZ. We give the US a sacred taonga and get back a Hobbits knife! Warners probably thanking Keys (sic) for his law changes earlier in the year. Quite frankly, our PM is a bloody dick!

    • Lanthanide 2.1

      The sword apparently was contributed by Warners.

      Which is funny really – go to the US, meet the president, and he fobs off the gift-giving to a movie corporation.

  3. Terry 3

    A shark is unlikely to eat other sharks! I have to admit that keyS and Obama are somewhat of a kind (though no “dear John” this time). How is it that the President could spend even a mere 30 minutes with this MINNOW? I guess on account of the secret meetings with the horrible Hillary Clinton when she begrimed our country. Obama congratulates Key on his forces in Afghanistan at the very time when he (Obama) is withdrawing his own troops! Those present, out of good manners, for KeyS speeches were totally inactive almost certainly because they were deep in sleep.
    Is that ghastly “smile” and faked “charm” really going to wash with real world leaders? He would be wise to reserve these for such easily beguiled New Zealanders.

  4. hellonearthis 4

    Obama could only stand Keys smiles and waves for 30mins before finding something better todo.
    I hope Pharmac was brought up and free trade?

  5. Adrian 5

    Is anyone going to dob in Garner and Espiner for their lies, gushing breathlessly about Keys’s meeting lasting “over an hour”, when it lasted less than half that. Good on Audrey Young for telling the truth. P.s, do you think that Granny is starting to turn.

  6. Windy.City.Struggler 6

    Oh, have some pity for the guy.

    He reportedly gained pre-selection after a gift of NZ$1mil (when the NZ/US cross rate was much lower), gaining the support of Stephen Joyce and an anonymous group of high net worth individuals in Auckland – doubtless including the local hedge fund managers association.

    In a country as small as ours, they should not be hard to identify.

    They did not choose him for his independence of thought, breadth of experience, education, sagacity, or wit. Precisely the opposite. He is the fall-guy, the patsy, the Oswald, for when things go wrong.

    He gave Hawa’iian Obama a priceless Taonga and received a fake sword in return.

    The symbolism is priceless.

  7. Craig Glen Eden 7

    Yup thats the trip in summary, Key gives Obama a Taonga Obama gives Keys a false hobbit sword.

    What a joke how embarrassing what a sellout, Keys knows no shame.

  8. kerry 8

    Forget all that, the real story is here: rabidkea.blogspot.com/2011/07/obama-stalked-by-delusional-nz-pm.html

    • Windy.City.Struggler 8.1

      With respect, I disagree.

      The White House has a very professional and experienced department dealing with protocol, gifts, and etiquette.

      Obama’s articulation of his name as ‘Keys’, the halving of time to spend with Key while struggling with fiscal crisis due to irresponsible flogging of debt by companies such as Merrill, and the gift of a used film prop in return for a greenstone mere are all symbols of the esteem with which our PM is held these days.

  9. I read the Coastguard visit as checking out the possibility of NZ adopting US statehood. Key wants NZ to be the US version of China’s Hong Kong.

  10. deemac 10

    I loved the way he took Obama’s “I’d love to visit your country someday” as a definite desire to come here rather than the thing you say to indicate the meeting is over.

  11. side show bob 11

    Well I guess John impressed the yanks by flying in on a plane, a broomstick just doesn’t do it.

    IrishBill: That’s the best you’ve got? Some half-baked desperate misogyny about a PM from years ago? I should mercy-ban you before you embarrass yourself any further.

  12. Cin77 12

    God that whole thing is embarrassing for New Zealand. I hope it bummed our PM out too, nothing less than he deserves for being such a bald faced suck up.

    Apparently most of New Zealand mistakes his name for Keys as well. Can’t say I’ve ever noticed it before

  13. vto 13

    That mere was something stunning. Go the Coast!

  14. bbfloyd 14

    both invites smell like no more than setting up photo ops for the election campaign.

  15. Gaby 15

    He’s just a provincial wanna be. Pity that’s the image of New Zealand he’s advertizing.

  16. SHG 16

    Newsflash: Hawai’i *is* the US.

  17. Lord Zealand 17

    Down here in the bottom of the rabbit hole they say he followed Helen and Mikes lead to the Grove, where the spidese weave their discontent, Morlock is worshiped and new types of violence invented.

  18. Bea Brown 18

    I hated seeing George W Bush patronise Helen Clark by telling her we were ‘very very good friends’ and her lapping it up and sending servicepeople to Iraq and Afghanistan. Sad to see such sycophancy from our leaders but I guess she knew it’s the real world and she had to suck it up.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Worker safety top of mind tomorrow and beyond
    Workers’ Memorial Day, commemorated tomorrow, is both a time to reflect and to encourage a better safety culture in all workplaces, says Labour’s spokesperson for Labour Issues Iain Lees-Galloway.“On Worker’s Memorial Day, working people across New Zealand will remember those… ...
    5 hours ago
  • Communities forced to stomach water woes
    Confirmation by Health Minister Jonathan Coleman that he is to wind up a water quality improvement scheme will leave thousands of Kiwis with no alternative but to continue boiling their drinking water, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says. The Drinking… ...
    9 hours ago
  • Labour calls for immediate humanitarian aid for Nepal
    The Government should act immediately to help with earthquake relief efforts in Nepal, Labour’s Foreign Affairs spokesperson David Shearer says. “The Nepalese Government is appealing for international assistance following yesterday’s massive quake. The full impact is only now being realised… ...
    9 hours ago
  • New holiday reflects significance of Anzac Day
    Anzac Day now has the full recognition that other public holidays have long enjoyed, reflecting the growing significance it has to our sense of identity and pride as a nation, Labour MP David Clark says.“The importance of the 100th Gallipoli… ...
    9 hours ago
  • Housing crisis hurting export growth
    If Steven Joyce wants to revive his failing export growth target he needs to make sure the Government gets to grips with the housing crisis, says David Parker, Labour’s Export Growth and Trade spokesperson. “Our exporters are struggling to compete… ...
    3 days ago
  • Gallipoli’s lesson: never forget, never repeat
     A special monument to one of our greatest war heroes should be a priority for the new Pukeahu National War Memorial Park, Labour Leader Andrew Little says.  “This will honour the spirit of Lieutenant Colonel William Malone, who led 760… ...
    3 days ago
  • Minister for who? Women, or Team Key?
    Louise Upston yesterday broke her silence on John Key’s repeated unwanted touching of a woman who works at his local café, to jump to the defence of her Boss. Upston repeated Key’s apology but, according to media reports “she refused… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    3 days ago
  • Taxpayer bucks backing US billionaire
    Kiwis will be horrified to know they are backing a Team Oracle subsidiary owned by a US billionaire, Labour’s Sports and Recreation spokesperson Trevor Mallard says. It has been revealed today that a Warkworth boat building company, which is wholly… ...
    4 days ago
  • English’s sins of omission: ‘Nothing left to be done’ on housing
    When Bill English said ‘there is nothing left to be done’ on the Auckland housing crisis he had overlooked a few things – a few things, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says.  “He’s right if you ignore: ...
    4 days ago
  • Climate change now hurts Kiwis
    Kiwis have twice been given timely and grave warnings on how climate change will hit them in their hip pockets this week, says Climate Change spokesperson Megan Woods.  “The first is the closure of the Sanford mussel plant and the… ...
    4 days ago
  • Clean, green and chocolate!
    Like many people I absolutely love chocolate! But until recently I hadn’t given much thought to how it was grown and produced. Fair trade and ethical food production are core Green Party principles, so yesterday Steffan Browning and I were… ...
    GreensBy Mojo Mathers MP
    4 days ago
  • National admits loan shark law not up to it
    National has admitted new laws to crack down on loan sharks, truck shops and dodgy credit merchants aren’t up to the task of protecting vulnerable consumers, Labour’s Commerce spokesperson Kris Faafoi says. “Paul Goldsmith has acknowledged the laws might just… ...
    4 days ago
  • Power and the Prime Minister
    I’d like to acknowledge the young woman* who has publically told her story. It was a very brave thing to do. She kept her story very simple and focussed on her experience of what happened. It told of unwanted attention… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    4 days ago
  • Extra holiday offers time to reflect
    The Mondayisation of Anzac Day provides New Zealanders with an opportunity to spend more time with their families and their communities, Dunedin North Labour MP David Clark says. “This is the first time legislation I introduced, to have Anzac and… ...
    4 days ago
  • More angst and anguish for red zone locals
    Local residents will be bitterly disappointed by the Government’s cherry picking of the Supreme Court’s decision regarding compensation for red zoned property owners, Labour Canterbury Earthquake Recovery spokesperson and Port Hills MP Ruth Dyson says. “Home owners have taken all… ...
    5 days ago
  • Australia shows why we need a sovereign wealth fund now
    Australia has not managed its great mining boom well, says HSBC’s chief economist for Australia and New Zealand, Paul Bloxham. When times are good, governments need to save for the bad times that will inevitably follow, and this can be… ...
    GreensBy Russel Norman MP
    5 days ago
  • Pure Water- pure rip off
    New Zealanders’ rights to fresh water must be protected before commercial allocations are given, but the Government is allowing resources to be taken, says Kelvin Davis MP for Te Tai Tokerau.  “The Government needs to resolve the issue of water… ...
    5 days ago
  • Cabinet paper reveals weak case for Iraq deployment
    A heavily redacted copy of a Cabinet paper on New Zealand’s military deployment to Iraq reveals how weak the case is for military involvement in that conflict, says Labour’s Defence spokesperson Phil Goff.  The paper warns that given the failure… ...
    5 days ago
  • Malaysia’s booty is Kiwis’ lost homeownership dream
    It’s unsurprising the Auckland property market is so overheated when Malaysians are being told they can live large on Kiwi’s hard-earned rent money, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “A Malaysian property website lists nearly 4000 New Zealand houses and… ...
    5 days ago
  • Ministry’s food safety resources slashed to the bone
    The Ministry for Primary Industries’ failure to monitor toxic and illegal chemicals in red meat is a dereliction of duty, Labour’s Primary Industries and Food Safety spokesperson Damien O’Connor says. “MPI compliance officer Gary Orr today admitted National’s much-vaunted super… ...
    5 days ago
  • Ministry must protect organic food industry
    The Ministry for Primary Industries must take urgent action to protect New Zealand’s $150 million organic food and beverage industry by establishing a certification regime, Labour’s Primary Industries spokesperson Damien O’Connor says. “Despite working with Organics Aotearoa on the issue… ...
    6 days ago
  • Tony Abbott, indigenous rights, and refugees
    This week, Tony Abbott has visited Aotearoa New Zealand, bringing with him his racist policies against indigenous Australians and his appalling record on refugee detention camps. Abbott has launched a policy “to close” remote aboriginal communities, which is about as… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    6 days ago
  • PM’s housing outburst bizarre
    Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford has described the Prime Minister’s latest comments on the Auckland housing crisis as bizarre. “John Key is deep in denial. He must be one of the only people left who are not concerned about the risk… ...
    1 week ago
  • Deflation: Another economic headache linked to housing crisis
    National’s housing crisis is causing even further damage with the second consecutive quarter of deflation a genuine concern the Reserve Bank can do little about, as it focusses on Auckland house prices, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “This is… ...
    1 week ago
  • Pot calling the kettle black over fossil fuel subsidies.
    Over the weekend alongside nine other countries the New Zealand Government has endorsed a statement that supports eliminating inefficient subsidies on fossil fuels. Fossil fuel subsidies are a big driver of increasing emissions. Good on the Government for working internationally… ...
    GreensBy Gareth Hughes MP
    1 week ago
  • At last – a common sense plan for Christchurch
    The Common Sense Plan for Christchurch released by The People’s Choice today is a welcome relief from the shallow debate about rates rises versus asset sales, Labour’s Christchurch MPs say. "Local residents – who have spent weeks trawling through the… ...
    1 week ago
  • National must lead by example on climate change
    The National Government must meet its own climate change obligations before it preaches to the rest of the world, Labour's Climate Change spokesperson Megan Woods says. "Calls today by Climate Change Minister Tim Groser for an end to fossil fuel… ...
    1 week ago
  • Biosecurity rethink a long time
    The Government has opened New Zealand’s borders to biosecurity risks and its rethinking of bag screening at airports is an admission of failure, Labour’s Primary Industries spokesperson Damien O’Connor says. Nathan Guy today announced a review of biosecurity systems in… ...
    1 week ago
  • Chinese rail workers must be paid minimum wage
    KiwiRail must immediately stop further Chinese engineers from working here until they can guarantee they are being paid the New Zealand minimum wage, Labour’s MP for Hutt South Trevor Mallard says. The Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment today released… ...
    1 week ago
  • Better consultation needed on Christchurch asset sales
    The Christchurch City Council (CCC) should be promoting wide and genuine public consultation on its draft ten year budget and plan given the serious implications for the city’s future of its proposed asset sales, outlined in the plan. Instead, it… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    1 week ago
  • ‘Healthy Families’ a good start but not enough to tackle obesity relate...
    Today the Government is making a the meal out of the launch of its ‘Healthy Families’ package to promote ‘healthier decisions’ and ‘changing mindsets’ over nutrition, physical activity and obesity. Great! The programme is based on a successful model from… ...
    GreensBy Kevin Hague MP
    1 week ago
  • ‘Healthy Families’ a good start but not enough to tackle obesity relate...
    Today the Government is making a the meal out of the launch of its ‘Healthy Families’ package to promote ‘healthier decisions’ and ‘changing mindsets’ over nutrition, physical activity and obesity. Great! The programme is based on a successful model from… ...
    GreensBy Kevin Hague MP
    1 week ago
  • No more sweet talk on obesity
    The Government should be looking at broader measures to combat obesity rather than re-hashing pre-announced initiatives, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says.  “While it is encouraging to see the Government finally waking from its slumber and restoring a focus on… ...
    1 week ago
  • Government two-faced on zero-hour contracts
    The Government should look to ban zero-hour contracts in its own back yard before getting too high and mighty about other employers using them, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says. “Information collated by Labour shows at least three district health… ...
    1 week ago
  • Scrutiny of battlefield deaths should continue
    As New Zealand troops head to Iraq under a shroud of secrecy, the Government is pushing ahead with legislation to remove independent scrutiny of incidents where Kiwi soldiers are killed in hostile action overseas, Labour’s Defence spokesperson Phil Goff says.… ...
    1 week ago
  • Damp-free homes a right for tenants
    Labour is urging tenants to use a little known rule which gives them the right to live in damp-free rental homes. Otago University researchers have today highlighted the Housing Improvement Regulations 1947 as a way tenants can force landlords to… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National must take action on speculators
    The Government must take action on property speculators who are damaging the housing market and shutting families and young people out of the home ownership dream, Labour Leader Andrew Little says.  “There are a number of options the Government could… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Milk price halves: A $7b economic black hole
    Global milk prices have halved since the peak last year, creating an economic black hole of almost $7 billion that will suck in regions reliant on dairy, crucial industries and the Government’s books, says Labour’s Finance Spokesperson Grant Robertson. “The… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Kitchen plan set to swallow up health boards’ funds
    The financial impacts of implementing a proposal to outsource hospital food, forced on them by a crown-owned company which is now facing an auditor-general’s inquiry, are being felt by district health boards across the country, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Reserve Bank scathing of Government
    The Reserve Bank’s most scathing critique to date of National’s inability to handle the housing crisis shows the Bank is sick of having to pick up the pieces, Labour Leader Andrew Little says.  “John Key continues to deny there is… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Time for McDonald’s to upsize work hours
    Labour is calling on McDonald’s to have more respect for their workers and offer them more guaranteed work hours. McDonald’s is proposing to guarantee its workers 80 per cent of their rostered hours, Labour’s spokesperson for Labour Issues Iain Lees-Galloway… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Brownlee misses the boat on asbestos
    Gerry Brownlee has once again missed an opportunity to improve the lives of Cantabrians post-earthquakes, Labour’s Canterbury Earthquake Recovery spokesperson Ruth Dyson says. A new report from the Royal Society of New Zealand and the Prime Minister’s Chief Science Adviser,… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Government must come clean on troop deployment and protections
    New Zealanders deserve more than to hear about their troops’ deployment overseas from Australian media, Opposition Leader Andrew Little says. “News from Australia that Kiwi troops are on their way to Iraq this week is another example of the culture… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Cancer prevention calls gain momentum
    Research showing bowel cancer treatment sucks up more public health dollars than other cancers once again highlights the need for a national screening programme, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says. A study by Otago University, which found colon cancer is… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Burger King shows zero-hour contracts not needed
    The abandonment of zero-hour contracts by Burger King is further evidence good employers do not need to use them, Labour’s spokesperson on Labour Issues Iain Lees-Galloway says. "Congratulations to the Unite Union and Burger King for settling an employment agreement… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Kiwis deserve more than reheats
    The Government looks set to rely on regurgitated announcements for this year’s Budget if today’s speech is anything to go by, Labour Leader Andrew Little says. “National has been building up to this Budget for seven long years, promising a… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Landlords not cashing in on insulation schemes
    The fact so few landlords have taken up the generous taxpayer subsidy for retrofitting shows it is time to legislate minimum standards, says Labour’s Associate Housing spokesperson Poto Williams. “Many landlords aren’t using Government insulation schemes because they don’t want… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Zero excuses, end zero hour contracts now
    It’s time Workplace Relations Minister Michael Woodhouse cut the weasel words and banned zero hour contracts, Labour Leader Andrew Little says. “Michael Woodhouse today acknowledged zero hour contracts are unfair. ...
    2 weeks ago
  • We’ve reached Peak Key with ‘artificial target’
    John Key’s attempt to redefine his cornerstone promise of two election campaigns as an artificial target suggests his other promises are works of fiction, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “For seven years and two election campaigns, John Key has… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Top 10 need to know facts on climate change
    All the numbers and stats around climate change can be confusing, so we’ve put together a handy list of the top 10 numbers about climate change that we should all know- and then do something about. You can sign up here to… ...
    GreensBy Frog
    2 weeks ago

Public service advertisements by The Standard

Current CO2 level in the atmosphere