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Mission: whatevered

Written By: - Date published: 12:25 pm, July 24th, 2011 - 27 comments
Categories: Minister for Overseas Holidays - Tags:

Classic Key on his holiday very important series of very important meetings that were very important and achieved all kinds of important things: “I’ve got to be the luckiest Prime Minister of New Zealand in the last 25 years. I’ve come to Washington and every single person who we’ve met with from the Administration has wanted to see us”

That sounds like a real high standard: ‘I went meetings and the people there seemed like they wanted to be there! None of them sighed theatrically while I talked. I didn’t get tossed out on my ear once. And I’m pretty sure none of them jotted down little stickmen versions of me getting eaten by sharks on their notepads while pretending to listen to me! Well, apart from Gheithner’

But what did these meetings achieve? Pffff. If you care about that, you’re a dirty commie.

Truth is, Key achieved nothing. The trade meetings in LA were cancelled. His meeting with Obama had no outcomes. It was so unimportant that Obama couldn’t get Key[s]’s name right and cut the meeting to half its length. Obama’s press secretary didn’t even have any lines ready for the Kiwi journos.

Young got it right with her sarcastic opening:

The Wellington Declaration signed by US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton last November proclaiming a strategic partnership with New Zealand is not quite enough symbolism for New Zealand it seems.

Prime Minister John Key wants a visit by the US Marines as well as a US Coast Guard ship to visit.

Uniforms and ships, albeit white ships not grey ships, beat paper.

Remember that amazing Wellington Declaration and all it achieved. Well, hold on to your hats:

  • A visit from some marines! (forgetting we already have half a dozen marines based here at the embassy).
  • And a visit from the Coastguard! (well, maybe. Key asked by the Yanks didn’t say yes.)

What did any of this empty symbolism achieve? Why does no-one ask that question of Key? How does any of this put bread on our families’ tables. Guess if you ask that you’re just envious.

So, what is Key up to next after a week long holiday in the US? He’s off to Hawaii for some r and r.

27 comments on “Mission: whatevered”

  1. Colonial Viper 1

    Scrapbook filled: Mission Accomplished.

    Can now leave Parliament and leave NZ to make some serious money.

    • Deadly_NZ 1.1

      Well if we are lucky and the bank of America’s shares have plummeted in value, like it was reported he may have a big farkin hole in his blind trust now. One can hope.

  2. fabregas4 2

    Embarrassing for once proud NZ. We give the US a sacred taonga and get back a Hobbits knife! Warners probably thanking Keys (sic) for his law changes earlier in the year. Quite frankly, our PM is a bloody dick!

    • Lanthanide 2.1

      The sword apparently was contributed by Warners.

      Which is funny really – go to the US, meet the president, and he fobs off the gift-giving to a movie corporation.

  3. Terry 3

    A shark is unlikely to eat other sharks! I have to admit that keyS and Obama are somewhat of a kind (though no “dear John” this time). How is it that the President could spend even a mere 30 minutes with this MINNOW? I guess on account of the secret meetings with the horrible Hillary Clinton when she begrimed our country. Obama congratulates Key on his forces in Afghanistan at the very time when he (Obama) is withdrawing his own troops! Those present, out of good manners, for KeyS speeches were totally inactive almost certainly because they were deep in sleep.
    Is that ghastly “smile” and faked “charm” really going to wash with real world leaders? He would be wise to reserve these for such easily beguiled New Zealanders.

  4. hellonearthis 4

    Obama could only stand Keys smiles and waves for 30mins before finding something better todo.
    I hope Pharmac was brought up and free trade?

  5. Adrian 5

    Is anyone going to dob in Garner and Espiner for their lies, gushing breathlessly about Keys’s meeting lasting “over an hour”, when it lasted less than half that. Good on Audrey Young for telling the truth. P.s, do you think that Granny is starting to turn.

  6. Windy.City.Struggler 6

    Oh, have some pity for the guy.

    He reportedly gained pre-selection after a gift of NZ$1mil (when the NZ/US cross rate was much lower), gaining the support of Stephen Joyce and an anonymous group of high net worth individuals in Auckland – doubtless including the local hedge fund managers association.

    In a country as small as ours, they should not be hard to identify.

    They did not choose him for his independence of thought, breadth of experience, education, sagacity, or wit. Precisely the opposite. He is the fall-guy, the patsy, the Oswald, for when things go wrong.

    He gave Hawa’iian Obama a priceless Taonga and received a fake sword in return.

    The symbolism is priceless.

  7. Craig Glen Eden 7

    Yup thats the trip in summary, Key gives Obama a Taonga Obama gives Keys a false hobbit sword.

    What a joke how embarrassing what a sellout, Keys knows no shame.

  8. kerry 8

    Forget all that, the real story is here: rabidkea.blogspot.com/2011/07/obama-stalked-by-delusional-nz-pm.html

    • Windy.City.Struggler 8.1

      With respect, I disagree.

      The White House has a very professional and experienced department dealing with protocol, gifts, and etiquette.

      Obama’s articulation of his name as ‘Keys’, the halving of time to spend with Key while struggling with fiscal crisis due to irresponsible flogging of debt by companies such as Merrill, and the gift of a used film prop in return for a greenstone mere are all symbols of the esteem with which our PM is held these days.

  9. I read the Coastguard visit as checking out the possibility of NZ adopting US statehood. Key wants NZ to be the US version of China’s Hong Kong.

  10. deemac 10

    I loved the way he took Obama’s “I’d love to visit your country someday” as a definite desire to come here rather than the thing you say to indicate the meeting is over.

  11. side show bob 11

    Well I guess John impressed the yanks by flying in on a plane, a broomstick just doesn’t do it.

    IrishBill: That’s the best you’ve got? Some half-baked desperate misogyny about a PM from years ago? I should mercy-ban you before you embarrass yourself any further.

  12. Cin77 12

    God that whole thing is embarrassing for New Zealand. I hope it bummed our PM out too, nothing less than he deserves for being such a bald faced suck up.

    Apparently most of New Zealand mistakes his name for Keys as well. Can’t say I’ve ever noticed it before

  13. vto 13

    That mere was something stunning. Go the Coast!

  14. bbfloyd 14

    both invites smell like no more than setting up photo ops for the election campaign.

  15. Gaby 15

    He’s just a provincial wanna be. Pity that’s the image of New Zealand he’s advertizing.

  16. SHG 16

    Newsflash: Hawai’i *is* the US.

  17. Lord Zealand 17

    Down here in the bottom of the rabbit hole they say he followed Helen and Mikes lead to the Grove, where the spidese weave their discontent, Morlock is worshiped and new types of violence invented.

  18. Bea Brown 18

    I hated seeing George W Bush patronise Helen Clark by telling her we were ‘very very good friends’ and her lapping it up and sending servicepeople to Iraq and Afghanistan. Sad to see such sycophancy from our leaders but I guess she knew it’s the real world and she had to suck it up.

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