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Sinking homicide rate justifies murder spree – PM

Written By: - Date published: 12:21 pm, May 9th, 2012 - 15 comments
Categories: crime, john key, Satire - Tags: , ,

The Government’s ‘sinking lid’ on homicides means that John Key can personally garotte 3-5 enemies and the overall number of killings will still decrease, a smiling Prime Minister told journalists today.

Since 1997, the sinking lid policy on homicide has gradually reduced the number of murders from 150 that year to 83 in 2011.

“Based on those trends, the number of murders will go down by about half a dozen this year. Which means no-one should mind if I bump off a few annoying arseholes” said Mr Key putting crosses beside names on seating map of Parliament.

“I mean, there’ll still be fewer killings than the year before, so what’s the harm?”

Asked whether the number of homicides would reduce even further if he didn’t take bloody revenge on those who had wronged him, Mr Key replied “But the number will come down even if a few certain smartarse journalists get what’s coming to them.”

“There’s a sinking lid. That means each year is lower than the year before. I really don’t see the problem here.” said the PM, sharpening his flick knives.

As of press time, Labour spokesperson for vendettas Trevor Mallard was hiding out in his family’s hometown in Sicily until the heat dies down, and was unavailable for comment.

15 comments on “Sinking homicide rate justifies murder spree – PM”

  1. …and, it doesn’t matter what the Cabinet Manual says, he can keep his job as long as he can assure us that he has not committed a crime.
    He’s such a nice man and he’s got such a lovely smile. He wouldn’t lie…would he?
     

    • ianmac 1.1

      And no doubt he can claim suit replacement when damaged by enemy blood – on the taxpayer of course.

      • Why not do a Bill English and double dip.
        First – Claim the expenses for plastic wraps for the victim (a la Dexter), all those groceries from Countdown to get a complete knife set and the expenses for the military helicopter rides, Diplomatic Protection Squads, and the “Tuhoe” Terrorism Suppression Act regiment of the NZ police, arising from going into the Beneficiary Badlands – and of course the damaged suits covered with the blood splatter from the poor.
         
        Second, do a promotional deal “in the interests of promoting NZ exporters” with a suit manufacturer where your suits, stained with the blood of the poor, are replaced free of charge.
         
        Double dip.
        “National – making expenses claims work for the rich”

  2. grumpy 2

    What’s the job of Prime Minister coming to when he has to perform his own garottings?

    • McFlock 2.1

      He doesn’t have to, he just likes to…

      • He has had no advice on garottings. However, he did have his Chief of Staff go to a number of events involving piano wire but he can not confirm if garottings took place – he has had not advice on that.

  3. BLiP 3

    .
     
    UPDATED: Prime Minister John Key has announced that National Ltd™ will murder one beneficiary every eight weeks. 
     
    Although the policy is still being drafted, its understood that the beneficiaries to be saved from the dwindling spiral of dependence on the state will be selected at random from National Ltd™ electorates.
     
    “As well as not reflecting badly in the statistics, this new policy will act as an incentive for beneficiaries to move into paid employment or live in areas more suited to their lifestyle”, Mr Key said this afternoon.
     
     

  4. Dr Terry 4

    Let’s not miss the point here (as if 83 murders is a cause for celebration). Key himself is “murderer of the psyche and soul” of countless numbers in the country. Literal murder might be of least concern (often result of other unhappy circumstances). Key and his lot are in process of murderous mayhem –
    through deliberate policy and strategy. Possibly 80% of us are “well off” (materially), an 80% that largely looks “murderously” upon the “lesser” 20%. For a “first world” OECD country, 20% of victims is one hell of a lot!

  5. tracey 5

    Its great that our pm is focused on the importance of eliminating journalists who dont blithely swallow his patter

  6. Shaz 6

    …. and in breaking news John Key sacks all the women in his cabinet except one – on the basis that he has still improved on the situation before Mabel Howard was appointed to the 1947 Labour Cabinet.

  7. tracey 7

    Lol shaz

  8. Libertad 8

    The Spanish government under General Francisco Franco used to publicly garotte (often political) prisoners in Barcelona Jail on Thursday afternoons as recently as 1974.

    The Governor of Catalonia responsible for carrying them out was Juan Antonio Samaranch – later the head of the International Olympic Committee.

    Food for thought ..

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    It ain’t over by a long shot, but I can’t help feel good about Northlanders response to the week from hell. This last week has seen the worst weather over a larger region of the north, for a longer period...
    Mana | 15-07
  • Latest power price data shows National has failed families
    Latest data showing New Zealanders' power bills have risen 2.3 percent in the last year show National has failed families and households, the Green Party said today.Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment data issued today shows average residential electricity prices...
    Greens | 15-07
  • MANA announces its general seat candidates in Tamaki
    MANA is pleased to announce its general seat candidates in Tamaki for the 2014 election. We have 10 seasoned community campaigners keen to bring MANA’s full set of big, bold policies to the election campaign,” says MANA Leader and MP...
    Mana | 14-07
  • Media Advisory- MANA Youth Ambassador
    MANA Leader and MP for Tai Tokerau Hone Harawira, and recently-appointed MANA Youth Ambassador Wairangi Koopu, will be available to speak to the media on the first day of the Internet MANA Road Trip. The Road Trip starts at Cape...
    Mana | 14-07
  • National muddying waters and needs to come clean
    The Government's inaccurate response to the Green Party's clean rivers policy shows it is scared of the Party's plans that will actually make rivers clean enough to swim in, the Green Party said today. Minister of Economic Development, Steven Joyce,...
    Greens | 14-07
  • NZ Govt needs to call for Israel to halt air strikes
    The New Zealand Government must push for Israel to stop its campaign of terror in Gaza, the Green Party said today.Thousands of civilians in Gaza have fled their homes as Israel has continued an offensive to destroy Hamas rocket sites...
    Greens | 13-07
  • MANA announces their MANA Youth Ambassador – Harawira
    Ex New Zealand Warrior hard man and Maori television media personality Wairangi Koopu has joined the MANA strategy team as the new MANA Youth Ambassador in another game changer move for the MANA party. “When we say we want more...
    Mana | 13-07
  • Green Party launches key election priority, rivers clean enough for swimmin...
    The Green Party has announced today that its number one environmental priority for this election is making our rivers clean enough to swim in again and keeping our beaches safe from oil spills. The Green Party will make a series...
    Greens | 12-07
  • Greens say John Key must clarify where he stands on marriage equality
    John Key has left many with the impression he will repeal marriage equality if elected into Parliament again, said the Green Party today. Reports have emerged that at a meeting with Pacific church leaders in Mangere, on Tuesday, many attendees...
    Greens | 11-07
  • Basin Flyover decision victory for common sense
    MIL OSI – Source: Green Party – Headline: Basin Flyover decision victory for common sense Tuesday, 22 Jul 2014 | Press Release “Both popular and expert opinion opposed the flyover. The proposal was expensive, unnecessary and would have undermined the...
    The Daily Blog | 22-07
  • CPAG Newsletter July 2014
    MIL OSI – Source: Child Poverty Action Group – Headline: CPAG Newsletter July 2014 22 July 2014 New child poverty data nothing to celebrate New data released by the Ministry of Social Development  indicates people living below the poverty line are worse...
    The Daily Blog | 22-07
  • Hotel ordered to pay $80,000 in outstanding wages
    MIL OSI – Source: Unite Union – Headline: Hotel ordered to pay $80,000 in outstanding wages An Auckland hotel has been ordered by the Employment Relations Authority to pay nearly $80,000 in outstanding wages to two employees. Filipino couple Abraham...
    The Daily Blog | 22-07
  • Rising interest rate and dollar driving manufacturing exports back to Globa...
    MIL OSI – Source: CTU – Headline: Rising interest rate and dollar driving manufacturing exports back to Global Financial Crisis levels The Council of Trade Unions is calling on the Reserve Bank not to raise interest rates on Thursday. “Another...
    The Daily Blog | 22-07
  • Israel/Gaza: Attacks on medical facilities and civilians add to war crime a...
    MIL OSI – Source: Amnesty International NZ – Headline: Israel/Gaza: Attacks on medical facilities and civilians add to war crime allegations The continuing bombardment of civilian homes in several areas of the Gaza Strip, as well as the Israeli shelling...
    The Daily Blog | 22-07
  • Central African Republic: Brazzaville talks should not lead to amnesties fo...
    MIL OSI – Source: Amnesty International NZ – Headline: Central African Republic: Brazzaville talks should not lead to amnesties for war crimes Amnesty International called on delegates to the Central African Republic (CAR) National Reconciliation talks due to take place...
    The Daily Blog | 22-07
  • Russia increases stranglehold on dissent as five more NGOs named ‘foreign...
    MIL OSI – Source: Amnesty International NZ – Headline: Russia increases stranglehold on dissent as five more NGOs named ‘foreign agents’ The Russian Ministry of Justice today registered four more Russian human rights organizations and one environmental group as “foreign...
    The Daily Blog | 22-07
  • Nigeria: World Bank panel turns its back on forcibly evicted community
    MIL OSI – Source: Amnesty International NZ – Headline: Nigeria: World Bank panel turns its back on forcibly evicted community The decision by a World Bank Inspection Panel to refuse to investigate a complaint about forced evictions linked to a...
    The Daily Blog | 22-07
  • National out of touch with the regions
    MIL OSI – Source: Labour Party – Headline: National out of touch with the regions John Key is out of touch with regional New Zealand if he believes tinkering with council regulations will restore opportunities to small towns, Labour Leader...
    The Daily Blog | 22-07
  • Flyover rejection a victory for sustainable transport
    MIL OSI – Source: Labour Party – Headline: Flyover rejection a victory for sustainable transport The rejection of the proposed Basin Reserve flyover by a Board of Inquiry is a victory for sustainable transport in Wellington and paves the way...
    The Daily Blog | 22-07
  • Loss Leading could destroy Kiwi lamb’s reputation
    MIL OSI – Source: Labour Party – Headline: Loss Leading could destroy Kiwi lamb’s reputation Meat companies that supply supermarkets and sell New Zealand lamb as a loss leader in the United Kingdom should lose their access to this valuable...
    The Daily Blog | 22-07
  • Labour will revive the regions with new fund
    MIL OSI – Source: Labour Party – Headline: Labour will revive the regions with new fund The next Labour Government will co-develop Regional Growth Plans for every region of New Zealand and will invest at least $200 million in a...
    The Daily Blog | 22-07
  • Speech to Local Government New Zealand
    MIL OSI – Source: Labour Party – Headline: Speech to Local Government New Zealand Speech to the Local Government New Zealand Conference 2014 Introduction Early in my time as an MP I went for a long walk on a windswept...
    The Daily Blog | 22-07
  • GUEST BLOG: Chris Perley – Confessions of an ex-Public Servant watching t...
    Back in the 16th century, good Queen Bess said to her Privy Council of advisors something along the lines of: “I want your free, frank advice, without consideration of fear or favour.”  In other words, tell me what you think,...
    The Daily Blog | 22-07
  • The rise of the Internet/Mana phenomenon
    Commentators seem surprised at the popularity of the Mana/Internet phenomenon. The ultimate ‘odd coupling’ is doing reasonably well in the polls at over 2% support, and Right Wing pundits are guessing that the Party might even reach 5% by the...
    The Daily Blog | 22-07
  • Which Party Would (not) Walk Away from a Crap TPPA?
    Trick question.  Any TPPA would be crap. But a future government will try to sell it to us anyway. It is clear that there won’t be any deal until well after the election and the new government is installed. So...
    The Daily Blog | 22-07
  • Te wiki – Maori Language Week
    Maori Language Week has become an entrenched feature of New Zealand.  New Zealanders have come to accept that for one week a year the normal institutions of the white settler society will make some attempt to engage their stakeholders using the...
    The Daily Blog | 22-07
  • A brief word on Cunliffe saying sorry for a 3 day holiday
    I’m not sure who the bloody hell is advising Cunliffe to apologise about a 3 day holiday, but it’s stupid. If you want to know what angry white reactionary NZ thinks about anything, go to a stuff.co.nz poll. Here’s their...
    The Daily Blog | 22-07
  • Seven Sharp – The day public broadcasting died
    I rarely watch Seven Sharp because it’s bullshit and sums up all that is wrong with current affairs in NZ, but even I can’t believe that Seven Sharp have stooped to being an apologist for Cameron Slater on this evenings show. This...
    The Daily Blog | 22-07
  • ….except Israel
    ….except Israel...
    The Daily Blog | 22-07
  • NZIFF Review: The Dark Horse – 6 stars
    This year’s opening New Zealand International Film Festival offering was a couple of nights ago, and I still feel this incredible NZ movie reverberating inside me. The Dark Horse is heartbreaking, heartwarming and terribly raw. Director James Napier Robertson has...
    The Daily Blog | 22-07
  • TDB New Zealand International Film Festival 2014 picks
    NZIFF is here, our picks this season are… The Dark Horse Boyhood Leviathan Is the man who is tall happy?  Hot Air Maps to the Stars Snowpiercer Toons for Tots InRealLife Print The Legend E-Team The Internet’s Own Boy: The...
    The Daily Blog | 22-07
  • A tale of two men: Cunliffe’s apology for rape culture vs Key’s dismiss...
    The manner in which Cunliffe has sought to address rape culture vs Key’s dismissal of it yesterday is a remarkable contrast as stark as the bias over Cunliffe’s holiday vs Key’s holiday. Key takes weeks off to pose for selfies...
    The Daily Blog | 21-07
  • MANA Pasifika Says NO To Discrimination
    MIL OSI – Source: Mana Movement – Headline: MANA Pasifika Says NO To Discrimination  Posted on July 20, 2014 by admin in James Papali’i’Vice Chairperson of MANA Pasifika James Papali’i  feels for Ms Tupou and her children after they were...
    The Daily Blog | 21-07
  • MANA Movement policy release – Economic Justice – John Minto
    MIL OSI – Source: Mana Movement – Headline: MANA Movement policy release – Economic Justice – John Minto  Posted on July 20, 2014 by admin in John Minto, Press ReleasesAddress notes from Mana Economic Justice Spokesperson and co-vice President John...
    The Daily Blog | 21-07
  • New President for MANA Movement
    MIL OSI – Source: Mana Movement – Headline: New President for MANA Movement  Posted on July 20, 2014 by admin in Lisa McNab, NewsLisa McNab, MANA President, and Annette Sykes, outgoing MANA President and candidate for Waiariki Lisa McNab was officially...
    The Daily Blog | 21-07
  • Flood relief for National voters first
    MIL OSI – Source: Mana Movement – Headline: Flood relief for National voters first Posted on July 18, 2014 by admin in Hone Harawira, Press Releases“The flooding in Tai Tokerau has hammered the north and impacted hundreds of families right...
    The Daily Blog | 21-07
  • Te Reo Māori a doorway to opportunity
    MIL OSI – Source: Labour Party – Headline: Te Reo Māori a doorway to opportunity A Labour Government will ensure more of our children have the opportunity to learn te reo Māori by encouraging the learning and use of it...
    The Daily Blog | 21-07
  • GUEST BLOG: Joe Trinder – National Party thugs destroying Internet MANA b...
    Last Saturday morning the volunteer brigade of Internet Mana  went out in the freezing cold to deploy Internet Mana billboards. They braved the cold weather of that icy cold morning only to have National party thugs destroy the billboards and...
    The Daily Blog | 21-07
  • Amnesty International: War crimes against innocent civilians – Why is his...
    27 December 2008, 11:30. Israeli Defence Forces (IDF) commence military airstrikes on a list of 603 targets believed to house suspected Hamas operatives in the Gaza Strip. In just three weeks, the devastating Operation ‘Cast Lead’ claimed approximately nine Israeli...
    The Daily Blog | 21-07
  • Rape Culture is not blah blah blah
    To some of our politicians and commentators, ‘rape culture’ has already become blah blah blah. A meaningless and overstated slogan to roll their eyes at and derisively joke about and deny. It’s something the ‘left’ takes seriously, and something the...
    The Daily Blog | 21-07
  • Hot Air: Alister Barry presents the cold, hard facts about New Zealand’s ...
    IF YOU SEE only one film in the 2014 NZ International Film Festival see Alister Barry’s feature-length documentary, Hot Air. This chilling exposé of the strategy and tactics adopted by New Zealand’s largest industries to ensure that no effective action to combat...
    The Daily Blog | 21-07
  • CTU resolution on Palestine
    Further to Unite’s position on Palestine, this is the Council of Trade Union position on Palestine… Preamble: Over 170 Palestinian political parties, unions and other organizations including the Palestinian General Federation of Trade Unions issued a call in July 2005...
    The Daily Blog | 21-07
  • Stop Israeli State Terror – Rally and March this Saturday 26th July, Aote...
    The humanitarian crisis in Gaza is getting much worse and the world is marching in unprecedented numbers. New Zealanders spoke out strongly last Saturday with a march of 5,000 people in Auckland (see picture below) – the biggest march ever...
    The Daily Blog | 21-07
  • Cafe chef awarded $50,000 for unfair dismissal
    MIL OSI – Source: Unite Union – Headline: Cafe chef awarded $50,000 for unfair dismissal A former chef at an Auckland cafe has been awarded more than $50,000 in unpaid wages and compensation for unjustified dismissal. The Employment Relations Authority...
    The Daily Blog | 21-07
  • NZ needs to assist UN with aid for Gaza
    MIL OSI – Source: Green Party – Headline: NZ needs to assist UN with aid for Gaza Monday, 21 Jul 2014 | Press Release The New Zealand Government should support the United Nation’s efforts to raise money to assist humanitarian...
    The Daily Blog | 21-07
  • Road fix needed now, not later
    MIL OSI – Source: Labour Party – Headline: Road fix needed now, not later Northland’s roading system is in chaos and needs fixing fast, Labour List MP Kelvin Davis says.  “According to NZTA’s 10 year funding data every area of...
    The Daily Blog | 20-07
  • KiwiSaver innovations needed to build wealth
    MIL OSI – Source: Labour Party – Headline: KiwiSaver innovations needed to build wealth The innovative changes to KiwiSaver suggested by the Financial Services Council today will be seriously considered by Labour as part of plans to make KiwiSaver universal,...
    The Daily Blog | 20-07
  • Internet MANA Auckland road show at Kelston – what the media are missing
    The Town Hall in Kelston yesterday was packed well before the start time of 2pm. What many welded to Wellington in the Press Gallery don’t understand about Internet MANA is that its energy and flaxroot mobilisation is far larger than...
    The Daily Blog | 20-07
  • Greens announce 20 hours free ECE for two year olds
    MIL OSI – Source: Green Party – Headline: Greens announce 20 hours free ECE for two year olds Monday, 21 Jul 2014 | Press Release This is an investment in families and our kids’ education and in reducing poverty. The...
    The Daily Blog | 20-07
  • Jeremy Wells’ Mike Hosking rant on Radio Hauraki: Today,
    Jeremy Wells’ Mike Hosking on Radio Hauraki...
    The Daily Blog | 20-07
  • Apocalypse Now
    For a brief moment, the nations of the world seemed united in a peaceful pursuit. The  World Cup finale in Brazil captured the imagination of a global TV audience. Within days, catastrophe exploded into the headlines, sending shards of outrage,...
    The Daily Blog | 20-07
  • Palestinians suffer from media’s use of derogatory labels
    Why, in our news media, is an Israeli with a gun a “soldier”, but a Palestinian with a gun a “militant”, or even a “terrorist”? The terminology is clearly prejudicial to the Palestinian cause, because New Zealanders are more likely...
    The Daily Blog | 20-07
  • Another example of media bias – Key’s holiday vs Cunliffe’s holiday a...
    Another, sad, tired example of media bias in terms of holidays this time. I pointed out in the weekend the extreme bias being exhibited by the media… The current level of negative bias being exhibited by the conservative corporate media...
    The Daily Blog | 20-07
  • MANA answers the call to have Apartheid Israeli Embassy kicked out of NZ
    Last week I asked “which NZ political Party will have the courage to call for the Apartheid Israel embassy to close?“, MANA have answered that challenge and have stepped forward as being the political party with that courage… The Mana...
    The Daily Blog | 20-07
  • Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Glenn Greenwald to speak at September 15t...
      So Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Glenn Greenwald will speak at Kim Dotcom’s Auckland Townhall event . Dear oh dear, how will the mainstream media journalists handle this news? All week they’ve been screaming how unfair it is that they will have...
    The Daily Blog | 20-07
  • New Zealanders will never get justice over spying saga
    MIL OSI – Source: Green Party – Headline: New Zealanders will never get justice over spying saga Thursday, 17 Jul 2014 | Press Release “How can someone go to Court on the issue when a person doesn’t even know if...
    The Daily Blog | 19-07
  • National issues mineral mining permits in Maui’s sanctuary
    MIL OSI – Source: Green Party – Headline: National issues mineral mining permits in Maui’s sanctuary Thursday, 17 Jul 2014 | Press Release The Government has issued mineral mining permits in one third of the endangered Maui’s dolphin sanctuary, the...
    The Daily Blog | 19-07
  • Casino workers fight outsourcing – picket 1-3pm Friday
    MIL OSI – Source: Unite Union – Headline: Casino workers fight outsourcing – picket 1-3pm Friday 17Jul On Friday the 18th of July, Unite will be picketing SkyCity Casino urging them not to outsource the Cleaning Services department. This proposal...
    The Daily Blog | 19-07
  • #PIZZAHURT! Rally for fair redundancy pay for Pizza Hut workers 3.30pm Thur...
    MIL OSI – Source: Unite Union – Headline: #PIZZAHURT! Rally for fair redundancy pay for Pizza Hut workers 3.30pm Thursday RALLY FOR JUSTICE FOR THE PIZZA HUT CALL CENTRE WORKERS We deserve fair redundancy pay. 330pm, 666 Great South Road,...
    The Daily Blog | 19-07
  • Fairer Deal For Parents on Benefits – Christine Rankin
    Conservative Party Leader Colin Craig is backing a campaign seeking to reform the way Work And Income treats shared care parents. Mr Craig confirmed his party's stance in an email to Fifty Fifty campaigner Duncan Eddy last night, stating: "I...
    Scoop politics | 22-07
  • Kmart stamps out bullies with partnership
    23 July 2014 – Kmart has helped stamp out bullying quite literally, with active team members from stores across the country pounding the pavement on a ‘Big Walk’ for charity organisation Foundation for Youth Development (FYD), as part of Kmart...
    Scoop politics | 22-07
  • More momentum needed to achieve Smokefree 2025 goal
    New research published in the New Zealand Medical Journal by ASPIRE 2025 researchers suggests the Government’s goal to achieve a Smokefree New Zealand by 2025 may be failing to gather the political momentum needed to ensure it is achieved. Analysis...
    Scoop politics | 22-07
  • Fight for 26 weeks paid parental leave to go on
    The coalition to support 26 weeks paid parental leave says that public demand for six months leave with a new baby is not going away, and the group will continue to push for government to do more to support better...
    Scoop politics | 22-07
  • Don’t Apologise for Putting Family First, Mr Cunliffe
    Family First NZ says Labour leader David Cunliffe should not be apologising for putting his family first and having some holiday time with them. “All parents need some rest and recharging time, they need family time, and most importantly they...
    Scoop politics | 22-07
  • Referral to the Police – Wayne Walford
    On 21 July 2014, the Electoral Commission referred Wayne Walford, National Party candidate for Napier, to Police for displaying election advertising on a signwritten vehicle promoting his candidacy and the National Party....
    Scoop politics | 22-07
  • RSA condemns downing of flight MH17
    The Royal New Zealand RSA has today denounced the downing of flight MH17, in the Donetsk region of Ukraine, as an act of terror....
    Scoop politics | 22-07
  • EDS joins Trans-Tasman Resources High Court appeal
    “EDS has today filed a notice to join (in opposition) Trans-Tasman Resources (TTR) appeal against the decision to reject its marine consent application to mine ironsands in the South Taranaki Bight,” says EDS Executive Director Gary Taylor....
    Scoop politics | 22-07
  • Over 1100 dead Kiwis
    Research presented to the NZ Defence Force today shows that an average of 16 service personnel have died away from the front line every year since 1945. Add those from the front line and the figure is 18....
    Scoop politics | 22-07
  • Petition to repeal carer legislation presented at parliament
    Today Rachel Noble, Chief Executive of the Disabled Persons Assembly presented a petition, with thousands signatures, to parliament demanding the repeal of the New Zealand Public Health and Disability Amendment Act (No 2) 2013....
    Scoop politics | 22-07
  • Claudette Hauiti to step aside at election
    National Party President Peter Goodfellow confirms that he has received notification from List MP Claudette Hauiti that she plans to step aside at the 20 September election....
    Scoop politics | 22-07
  • LGNZ welcomes Prime Minister to local government conference
    Local Government New Zealand (LGNZ) was pleased to host the Prime Rt Hon John Key at the 2014 LGNZ Conference today in Nelson. The Prime Minister addressed the audience of 550 delegates including mayors, chairs, chief executives, councillors and senior...
    Scoop politics | 22-07
  • Students Challenge Parliament to Protect Student Voice
    Student representatives on Victoria University of Wellington Council. LEFT: Elected-at-large student representative David Alsop. RIGHT: VUWSA President Sonya Clark....
    Scoop politics | 22-07
  • Flockton basin residents deserve fairness
    It is blindingly obvious that the land in the Flockton basin has dropped because of the earthquake causing increased flooding and flood vulnerability says Labour’s Christchurch Central Candidate Tony Milne....
    Scoop politics | 22-07
  • LGNZ welcomes Labour’s announcement on regional development
    Local Government New Zealand (LGNZ) has welcomed today’s announcements from Leader of the Opposition David Cunliffe on regional development. The Hon Cunliffe launched Labour’s regional development policy to more than 550 delegates at the annual 2014...
    Scoop politics | 22-07
  • Standing Orders Committee: Review of Standing Orders
    The Standing Orders Committee has presented its report on the Review of Standing Orders. The committee reviews the Standing Orders, procedures, and practices of the House and usually reports towards the end of each parliamentary term....
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • Stop Israeli State Terror – Rally on 26th July, Aotea Square
    The humanitarian crisis in Gaza is getting much worse and the world is marching in unprecedented numbers. New Zealanders spoke out strongly last Saturday with a march of 5,000 people in Auckland (see picture below) – the biggest march ever...
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • Human Rights Commission welcomes The Way Forward report
    EEO Commissioner Dr Jackie Blue has welcomed The Way Forward report on an integrated system for Intimate Partner Violence, Child Abuse and Neglect. “The Way Forward report is truly a way forward. We’re not starting from scratch, all the jigsaw...
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • Young people to face MPs in UNICEF NZ Election Debate
    The UNICEF New Zealand Youth vs MPs Election Debate takes place today (22 July) at the Beehive Theatrette providing a unique platform for young people to debate issues of importance ahead of the 2014 general election. UNICEF NZ will also...
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • Taskforce Welcomed to Curb Excess Local Government Control
    The Taxpayers’ Union is welcoming Prime Minister John Key’s announcement at the LGNZ conference in Nelson to establish a 'Rules Reduction Taskforce'.Taxpayers’ Union Executive Director, Jordan Williams, says:...
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • LGNZ releases election manifesto
    LGNZ releases election manifesto focusing on the need for strengthening New Zealand’s communities and economies...
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • Local government celebrates outstanding performance at LGNZ
    Local Government New Zealand (LGNZ) is pleased to announce the winners of the inaugural LGNZ EXCELLENCE Awards, designed to recognise and celebrate the leadership role local government plays within communities. The Awards were presented at a prestigious dinner...
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • Cocktails for Industry Officials, Squalor for Pigs
    When members of the pork industry meet at their annual conference at Auckland’s Novotel Hotel today, animal advocates are expecting urgent action to address cruelty issues on factory farms. Animal advocacy group SAFE says pork industry officials...
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • Forest & Bird to mark On the Block campaign at Parliament
    Independent conservation organisation Forest & Bird will hold a photo opportunity at Parliament at noon today to highlight the, unprecedented rights sell-off to frack, log, drill and mine New Zealand’s public conservation land....
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • NZCCSS calls for government to raise care workers’ wages
    The New Zealand Council of Christian Social Services (NZCCSS) is joining the call for the government to increase funding to the aged care sector to enable fair wages to be paid to workers caring for New Zealand’s older people. “The...
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • CTU Urges Reserve Bank Not to Raise Interest Rates
    The Council of Trade Unions is calling on the Reserve Bank not to raise interest rates on Thursday. “Another rise in interest rates will raise the dollar further, striking another blow at high value manufacturing industries who are exporting or...
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • ACT announces Jamie Whyte as Pakuranga candidate
    Dr Whyte was elected ACT Leader in February. Since then he has been travelling around the country meeting New Zealanders and talking about ACT’s key messages of low, flat tax, cutting green tape, getting tough on crime, and “one country,...
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • Whyte calls on Craig to name his flat tax rate
    ACT Leader Jamie Whyte has hit out at Colin Craig for failing to name his party's suggested flat tax rate. "Page 9 of The Press today is an advertisement for Colin Craig’s Conservative Party and their policy of having two...
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • The Letter 21 July 2014
    All tax and spend ; Do not add up ; Bad economics ; We have moved to the left ; Being in government was a mistake...
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • Aggressive phone scam targets Inland Revenue customers
    Inland Revenue is warning its customers to beware of aggressive telephone scammers who are targeting people for money and threatening actions such as deportation and prison if not paid....
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • A talk on wealth, a rant on inequality, & NZ’s latest stats
    I'm giving a talk in Wellington tomorrow night on wealth in New Zealand: how much of it there is, how it's distributed, and why we should be talking more about it. It's at 5.30 at Connolly Hall in Thorndon, and...
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • Growing Up in New Zealand Report exploring vulnerability
    The Chief Executive of the Families Commission says the Growing Up in New Zealand (GUiNZ) report released today is the first step towards developing a greater understanding of vulnerability in the New Zealand context....
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • Christopher Giddens Struck off
    The New Zealand Lawyers and Conveyancers Disciplinary Tribunal has ordered that Christopher Giddens be struck from the Roll of Barristers and Solicitors....
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • Downing of MH17 shows the Ukraine crisis is a global issue
    The downing of Malaysian airlines’ flight MH17 clearly shows the Ukraine crisis is not a local or regional affair, it is a global issue and the world community needs to help the Ukraine, University of Canterbury Ukrainian expert Associate Professor...
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • NZEI supports Green party’s commitment to quality ECE
    NZEI Te Riu Roa is welcoming the Green Party’s plans to boost the quality of early childhood education by restoring funding for centres with 100 percent qualified staff....
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • NZ First Tax Policy Breaches the China FTA Peters Signed
    Reacting to New Zealand First leader Winston Peters’ policy announcement to introduce a capital gains tax on foreign owned homes and assets, Jordan Williams, Executive Director of the Taxpayers’ Union says:...
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • Interview with Metiria Turei
    We believe that the Green Party and Labour can work together. After the election, we will look at our shared goals and where we can work together to achieve positive goals for New Zealand....
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • NZ First GST Policy Not Thought Through
    Reacting to New Zealand First leader Winston Peters’ policy announcement to remove GST on food, Jordan Williams, Executive Director of the Taxpayers’ Union says:...
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • KASM to fight seabed mining decision appeal
    Kiwis Against Seabed Mining (KASM) today notified the High Court of its intention to join the EPA in opposing an appeal by Trans Tasman Resources against the EPA’s decision to refuse consent for the country’s first seabed mining proposal....
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • MANA Policy Statement- Economic Justice
    A just economy is one where everybody is able to afford the cost of living and enjoy a decent quality of life. In a just economy, tax rates are fair. Those who earn more pay a higher proportion of their...
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • Waitangi Tribunal Releases Its Report on the MV Rena
    In its interim report released today, the Waitangi Tribunal has found that the Crown’s conduct in response to the grounding of the MV Rena on Otaiti (Astrolabe) reef breached the principles of the Treaty of Waitangi....
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • Wairoa District Council Should Not Be Gagging Staff
    Reacting to the Dominion Post article that the Wairoa District Council has removed council staff members' personal submissions on the Council's annual plan, Taxpayers' Union Executive Director, Jordan Williams, says: “Staff making personal submissions...
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • Xero CEO shares ideas on transforming local economies
    Xero CEO shares ideas on transforming New Zealand’s local economies Cloud-based accounting software firm Xero could be based anywhere in the world but Chief Executive Rod Drury keeps the company’s head office in Wellington....
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • ‘Pay Up or Lose Licence’ Message Is Getting Through
    Coromandel MP Scott Simpson says fine dodgers are finally paying up since the introduction of strict new rules for traffic offenders. Scott Simpson MP says ‘People who get caught breaking traffic rules now have two choices - pay up or...
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • Petition for new nurse graduates
    Today the New Zealand Nurses Organisation is launching a petition aimed at achieving a nurse entry to practice (NEtP) position for every new grad nurse. New Zealand is facing a significant nursing shortage over the next decade. We need to...
    Scoop politics | 21-07
  • Local government discusses how we can spread wealth
    Opportunities and risks arising from New Zealand’s changing regions were explored today at the Local Government New Zealand conference in Nelson. Shamubeel Eaqub, Principal Economist at the New Zealand Institute of Economic Research, delivered...
    Scoop politics | 20-07
  • FTC Calls for Rational Dialogue Regarding Gaza
    The Free Thinking Coalition (FTC) urges New Zealanders who are engaged in dialogue regarding the situation in Israel and Palestine to think rationally about issues confronting the Middle East....
    Scoop politics | 20-07
  • Craig says Peters should Come Clean
    Conservative Party Leader Colin Craig says "Winston Peters should come clean and declare where he is standing, who he will work with, and what his bottom lines are."...
    Scoop politics | 20-07
  • Democrats for Social Credit announces Party List
    Democrats for Social Credit Party Leader, Stephnie de Ruyter, today announced the line up of the Party’s candidates and list rankings for the forthcoming election. The party will field thirty electorate candidates and four list only candidates....
    Scoop politics | 20-07
  • Economic Growth And Jobs Are Key Priorities
    A new report highlights the major concerns for Mayors and Chairs A report, based on the findings of a recent survey, identifies what Mayors and Chairs of local authorities think are the major issues facing their communities and organisations. Commissioned...
    Scoop politics | 20-07
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