Caption competition
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2:32 pm, September 21st, 2012 - 53 comments
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Stats NZ has confirmed that higher rent prices were the biggest contributor to the annual inflation rate. Almost a fifth of the 2.2 per cent annual increase in the CPI was due to rent prices. ...3 weeks ago
- New Charter to guarantee better access for hunting and fishing
Minister for Hunting and Fishing Todd McClay has today launched an Access Charter (the Charter) to ensure better access for recreational hunting and fishing on public conservation land (PCL) across New Zealand. âThis Charter establishes guiding principles for the Department of Conservation (DOC) to provide clear and transparent decisions on ...22 hours ago - Pou Whenua blessing honours Tongariro
A beautiful new Pou Whenua at the beginning of the Tongariro Alpine Crossing will introduce visitors to the sacred landscape they are entering, says Conservation Minister Tama Potaka. Mr Potaka attended a blessing for the specially carved Pou Whenua at Mangatepopo, at the start of the track on 1 November. ...2 days ago
- New members appointed to the NZTA Board
Transport Minister Simeon Brown has today announced two new appointments to the New Zealand Transport Agency (NZTA) Board. Mary-Anne Macleod and Mike Rudge have both been appointed as members for three-year terms commencing 1 November 2024 and ending 31 October 2027. âTransport is a critical part of our Governmentâs plan ...2 days ago
- Welcome relief from new oestradiol gel funding
Associate Health Minister David Seymour is welcoming Pharmacâs funding of oestradiol gel, following global shortages of oestradiol patches earlier this year. âIâm well aware of the stress caused by the global shortage earlier this year. At the time I said I was confident Pharmac was working hard to find a ...2 days ago
- Deputy Prime Minister visit to Australia
Foreign Minister and Racing Minister Winston Peters will visit Australia next week. âAustralia is New Zealandâs closest partner, and we are pleased to make this second official visit there for 2024 following the first ever Foreign and Defence Ministers 2+2 Meeting between our two countries in Melbourne in January,â ...2 days ago
- Applications now open for new training pathway
Applications have now opened for tertiary education organisations to seek Government funding to develop New Zealandâs first postgraduate diploma programme for associate psychologists, Minister for Mental Health Matt Doocey announced today. âInvestment in this new training pathway supports the Governmentâs target to grow our mental health and addiction workforce and ...2 days ago
- Increased medicines access continues following budget boost
Associate Health Minister with responsibility for Pharmac David Seymour is pleased to see further increased availability of medicines for Kiwis following the Governmentâs increased investment in Pharmac. âPharmac operates independently, but it must work within the budget constraints set by the Government,â says Mr Seymour. âWhen this Government assumed office, ...2 days ago
- New Zealand concludes high quality trade deal with the Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC)
New Zealand and the six-nation Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC) have concluded negotiations on a trade agreement that will open up significant opportunities for New Zealand exporters in the Gulf region, Minister for Trade and Agriculture Todd McClay announced from Doha today. Todayâs announcement follows significant reengagement with the GCC following meetings ...2 days ago
- Government seeks views on remote court attendance
The Government is exploring how to modernise the law around people attending court remotely, to support access to justice and enhance court performance. Courts Minister Nicole McKee says the current law has not kept up with evolving court practices and public attitudes to the use of remote technology, nor been ...3 days ago
- Breast screening age extension begins in Nelson Marlborough
Free breast screening has been extended for 70 to 74-year-old women living in the Nelson Marlborough district, ahead of a national roll-out late next year, Health Minister Dr Shane Reti announced today. âBreast cancer is the most common cancer in New Zealand with about 3,400 women diagnosed with the disease ...3 days ago
- Te MÄori Manaaki Taonga Trust Board strengthened
He toi whakairo, he mana tangata. The reappointment of one trustee and the appointment of four new trustees to the Te MÄori Manaaki Taonga Trust Board will enable the legacy of Te MÄori to be carried forward into the future, MÄori Development Minister Tama Potaka and Arts Minister Paul Goldsmith ...3 days ago
- Affordable housing project supporting home ownership
Up to 300 affordable, healthy, community-tailored homes helping to support home ownership are set to be built in eastern Porirua, supported by Government funding for Our Whare Our Fale through the Building Homes for Pacific in Porirua initiative, Minister for Pacific Peoples Dr Shane Reti and Associate Housing Minister Tama ...3 days ago
- Dire benefit forecasts show the need for Welfare that Works
A new report that forecasts young people on benefits will spend an average of 20 more years relying on welfare underscores the need for the Governmentâs reforms, Social Development and Employment Minister Louise Upston says. MSDâs latest Benefit System Insights report, released today, which estimates how many future years different ...3 days ago
- Trade Minister travels to Doha for GCC trade discussions
Trade Minister Todd McClay will hold trade discussions with Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC) trade ministers in Doha this week. Minister McClay will meet with all six GCC Trade Ministers, as well as the GCC Secretary General. âThis will be my seventh visit to the region this year including two Ministerial ...4 days ago
- Podiatry prescribers will boost patient care
Health Minister Dr Shane Reti and Associate Minister David Seymour say itâs great news that podiatrists will soon be able to prescribe medicines, meaning patients with painful foot and leg conditions donât have to make a separate trip to the doctor. âThis simple step means a big change for people ...4 days ago
- Historic redress inequities finally resolved for Lake Alice Unit survivors
The Government is addressing historic redress inequities for some survivors abused at the Lake Alice Child and Adolescent Unit. In 2001, the Crown reached a $6.5 million group settlement with 95 survivors subjected to abuse at the Lake Alice Unit. Law firm Grant Cameron & Associates (now GCA Lawyers) represented ...4 days ago
- ERO report shows Governmentâs truancy emphasis is vital
Associate Education Minister David Seymour says that the Education Review Officeâs (ERO) timely report on chronic school absence released today is further evidence of a truancy crisis. âChronic absence has doubled since 2015. This report reinforces that action is needed to ensure this generation reaches its full potential,â says Associate ...4 days ago
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- Mangamuka Gorge opening in time for Christmas
State Highway 1 through the Mangamuka Gorge will be open for Christmas, with critical work currently underway to clear the large slips and dropouts that have caused significant disruption for Northlanders trying to get where they want to go quickly and safely, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. âThe Mangamuka Gorge ...5 days ago
- Trusted building professionals able to self-certify
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- New appointments to the TEC board
Dr Alan Bollard CNZM and Mr Bharat Guha have been appointed to the Tertiary Education Commission (TEC) board, Tertiary Education and Skills Minister Penny Simmonds says. âI would like to welcome the two new members joining the TEC board,â Ms Simmonds says. âDr Alan Bollard CNZM is an experienced public ...5 days ago
- Move to fast-track overseas doctors welcomed
Fast tracking applications for registration by eligible specialist doctors wanting to practice in New Zealand is in line with the Governmentâs push to improve the health outcomes for New Zealanders, Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says. This fast-track pathway applies to specialists trained in anaesthesia, dermatology, emergency medicine, general practice, ...5 days ago
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TÄnÄ koutou Nau mai haere mai ki tenei hui Thank you to Vice Chancellor Williams, and the University of Western Sydney, for inviting me to speak today. I speak to you today in my capacity as Attorney-General â the New Zealand Crownâs Senior Law Officer. In this capacity, I serve ...5 days ago
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The Government has approved $23.1 million for four critical frontline volunteer service organisations to replace storm-damaged assets and provide training and equipment to improve New Zealandâs response to future emergency events, Transport Minister Simeon Brown and Associate Transport Minister Matt Doocey says. $14.6 million for Surf Life Saving New ...6 days ago
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Resources Minister Shane Jones will speak at Australia's largest annual mining event in Sydney this week to mark New Zealandâs return to the international industry stage. Mr Jones will attend the International Mining and Resources Conference (IMARC) where he will update the sectorâs most influential players on the work the ...7 days ago
- NZ investing in Pacific disaster preparedness & climate resilience
New Zealand will contribute $20 million to the Pacific Resilience Facility, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and Deputy Prime Minister Winston Peters have announced. âThe Pacific Islands region faces severe challenges from natural disasters and climate change impacts and New Zealand is committed to doing its part to help meet them,â ...1 week ago
- Police to increase presence on Auckland public transport
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- Government funds helicopter replacements
The Government is investing in eight new emergency helicopters to replace some of New Zealandâs ageing air ambulance fleet, Associate Health Minister Casey Costello and ACC Minister Matt Doocey announced today. âOur air ambulance helicopters play a vital role in saving lives around New Zealand,â Casey Costello says. âThis is ...1 week ago
- China and New Zealand strengthen organic trade
An uplift to New Zealandâs organic product trade is expected through a new upgraded arrangement with China, Food Safety Minister Andrew Hoggard says.âThe upgraded Mutual Recognition Arrangement (MRA) for organic products will deliver opportunities for our organic export sector.âThe upgraded MRA was signed in Central Otago today by Andrew Hoggard ...1 week ago
- Judicial appointments announced
Attorney-General Judith Collins today announced two Court of Appeal and two High Court appointments. The four appointments will take effect on 21 November 2024 and are: Justice Christine French Justice French, who has been appointed President of the Court of Appeal, graduated with an LLB (Honours) from the University of Otago ...1 week ago
- Tuatapere Hump Ridge Track becomes New Zealandâs 11th Great Walk
Conservation Minister Tama Potaka joined tangata whenua from NgÄi Tahu and local community members today to celebrate the opening of New Zealandâs eleventh Great Walk â the Tuatapere Hump Ridge Track. âThe 60km upgraded track provides the opportunity to do one of New Zealandâs world-class multi-day walks, and will bring ...1 week ago
- New Chief Criminal Cases Review Commissioner
The Honourable Denis Clifford has been appointed Chief Commissioner of the Criminal Cases Review Commission, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. Hon Clifford brings a wealth of expertise and experience that will prove invaluable to the Commission. âHe has served as a judge at both the Court of Appeal and High ...1 week ago
- Changes to improve building fire safety
The Government is progressing changes to better protect Kiwis and their property from fires, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says. âFollowing the tragic Loaferâs Lodge fire in 2023, 37 boardings houses across the country were assessed and I am pleased to say that all fire safety recommendations from the ...1 week ago
- Germany and New Zealand partner to support agriculture and tackle global emissions
New Zealand and Germany have announced the official start of a partnership aimed at supporting the agriculture sector and tackle global agricultural greenhouse gas emissions Agriculture Minister Todd McClay announced today. âThe partnership, called the Alliance for the Climate â Dialogue on Climate and Agriculture between New Zealand and Germany (Agri-DENZ project), ...1 week ago
- New members appointed to the Waitangi Tribunal
MÄori Development Minister Tama Potaka today confirmed the appointment of two new members to the Waitangi Tribunal, as well as the reappointment of Kevin Prime. The members appointed and reappointed are: Hon Richard Prebble (CBE). Mr Prebble is a former Cabinet Minister where he held a broad range of portfolios. ...1 week ago
- New appointments to the Local Government Commission
Local Government Minister Simeon Brown has today announced the reappointment of the current Chair and the appointment of a temporary member to the Local Government Commission.Current Chair Brendan Duffy ONZM has been reappointed as Chair for a one-year term ending 23 October 2025, while Gwen Bull CNZM will be joining ...1 week ago
- New Electoral Commission Chair appointed
Today the House agreed to Justice Simon Moore KC being appointed chair of the Electoral Commission, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. âJustice Moore brings with him a high level of legal acumen and decision-making ability, strategic planning skills and unquestionable personal integrity and independence. âHe retired from the High Court ...1 week ago
- Education Minister attending conference in Australia
The Education Minister is travelling to Australia today to attend the 23rd edition of public policy conference, Consilium. âNew Zealand and Australia share common challenges and aspirations for education. New South Wales has recently introduced a new curriculum that is explicit, sequenced and knowledge based while Victoria is requiring structured ...1 week ago
- Launching VisAble to enable safer lives
The launch of new community advocacy group VisAble signals an important development in community advocacy to achieve more focus on the needs and rights of disabled people in the family violence and sexual violence system. Minister for the Prevention of Family and Sexual Violence, Karen Chhour, and Disabilities Issues Minister, ...1 week ago
- Parliament Library became haunted house for Halloween
Most people might not call Parliament a normal place, but some call it a paranormal place. ...1 hour ago - Healthcare needs go beyond the physical
Opinion: Recent Census data highlights our increasingly secular and multi-faith context. More than half of Aotearoa New Zealand’s population does not identify with any particular faith tradition, and just 32 percent are Christian, down from 36.5 percent in 2018.For people whose spirituality is not associated with a faith or belief ...1 hour ago - Three reasons Americaâs democracy is under threat
For just a few weeks shy of eight years now, a certain class of Americans have been walking around in something close to a daze. The election of Donald Trump in 2016 blew to smithereens decades of conventional wisdom about the way many Americans view politics.The ensuing years have seen ...2 hours ago
- Palau newspaper sued by presidentâs family company ahead of general election
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By Caleb Fotheringham, RNZ Pacific journalist Cook Islands Prime Minister Mark Brown has returned from New Caledonia saying it is not a simple âblack and white situationâ. Brown returned from a three-day Pacific fact-finding mission in the French Pacific territory alongside the Prime Ministers of Solomon Islands, Tonga and Fiji. ...18 hours ago
- Another Palestinian journalist killed in Gaza as Israel âsuffocates the truthâ
âIn his message for the day, the secretary-general underscores that a free press is fundamental to human rights, to democracy and to the rule of law,â Dujarric said. âAlarming rate of fatalitiesââRecent years have seen an alarming rate of fatalities in conflict zones, particularly in Gaza, which has seen the ...19 hours ago
- Chris Penk lays foundations for self-certified building scheme
As the government sets about laying the foundations for tradespeople to sign off their own work, RNZ sits down with the minister responsible to hammer out the details. ...21 hours ago
- Where the brain goes, the gut will follow
Comment: There has been a growing understanding of the powerful two-way connection between our stomach and brain in recent years, suitably named the gut-brain connection. This link is so strong that the gut is sometimes nicknamed our âsecond brainâ, highlighting how real your âgut feelingsâ can be. If you’ve ever ...1 day ago
- Short story: 3rd place, Sargeson Prize
WinterI still think of Michael often. We first met at Grace’s thirty-first birthday party. I was sitting outside on the back deck when he came out through the sliding glass doors. He was pulling a pouch from his coat pocket.“You want a smoke?” he asked, planting himself on the bench ...1 day ago
- The Secret Diary of .. Mike King
MondayI sat in at a team meeting to discuss our suicide prevention fundraising event this Friday night in Dunedin and was told we were struggling to gain an alcohol licence from the council.âTell them Mike King is behind it,â I said. âMy name opens doors. Do you see that door? It ...1 day ago
- The making of Donald Trump
It’s taken six years, but The Apprentice, the film former US President Donald Trump didn’t want anyone to see, is finally out in cinemas, just ahead of the US presidential election.There was so much back-and-forth around whether or not the production would go ahead that by the time filming was ...1 day ago
- The Weekend: When the tide turns
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Cultural challenges are an integral part of sports, but how teams respond has been a point of debate for some time. Self-proclaimed âloose headâ England prop Joe Marler called for the haka to be scrapped earlier this week, before âclarifyingâ what he meant, attempting to pivot his statement, and then ...1 day ago
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The TVNZ broadcaster reflects on his life in television, including a full circle moment with David Attenborough, his favourite politicians to interview and why heâll never watch Game of Thrones. Jack Tame spends most of his time grilling our own MPs, but at the moment his heart is somewhere else. ...1 day ago
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Wellingtonâs Wiri Donna shares her perfect weekend playlist. Bianca Bailey is the lead singer, guitarist and songwriter behind the chamber-pop project Wiri Donna, which recently released its second EP, In My Chambers. âIâm feeling a little vulnerable about it, almost like Iâm about to out myself as an angry person. ...1 day ago
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Three teenage barbers in Mt Albert have capitalised on a viral haircut to build businesses on Instagram. Duncan Greive gets a haircut and a lesson in modern business. Photography by Jin Fellet. âWhen I first started cutting hair, I messed up my friend really badly,â says Ali. I shiver involuntarily ...1 day ago
- A new novel imagines a New Zealand version of the conservative South Asian grifter
Thereâs little to like about figures like American politician Vivek Ramaswamy, but there is a lot to learn. Earlier this year, American politician and failed Republican candidate, Vivek Ramaswamy, hosted notorious bagpipe, Ann Coulter, on his podcast. They talked for an hour, and frankly thereâs no way Iâm going to ...1 day ago
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https://player.vimeo.com/api/player.jsKatherine Mansfield left New Zealand when she was 19 years old and died at the age of 34.In her short life she became our most famous short story writer, acquiring an international reputation for her stories, poetry, letters, journals and reviews. Biographies on Mansfield have been translated into 51 ...
1 day ago - Podcast: Giving employees what they want, when they want it
Fintechs are changing the way we spend and save, but they are also set to change the way we could be paid for work, or more correctly, how workers receive fringe benefits. As New Zealanders weâre used to having the bulk of our remuneration paid as an electronic payment ...1 day ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michelle Grattan, Professorial Fellow, University of Canberra People repaying HELP student debts would get cost-of-living relief under changes to repayment arrangements to be announced by Prime Minister Anthony Albanese on Sunday. The minimum threshold for repayments to start would be lifted ...1 day ago
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By Jairo Bolledo in Manila The Philippine Supreme Court has granted temporary protection to an environmental activist abducted in Pangasinan earlier this year. In its resolution dated September 9 â but only made public this week â the court granted Francisco âEcoâ Dangla IIIâs petition for temporary protection, and prohibited ...1 day ago
- Politics with Michelle Grattan: Bruce Wolpe says personal relations between Trump and Albanese would...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michelle Grattan, Professorial Fellow, University of Canberra Days from the US presidential election, the polls are showing the outcome of the race between Kamala Harris and Donald Trump remains a nail biter. With the United States our closest ally, the result ...1 day ago
- Indo-Fijian âlisten to usâ plea to NZ over Pacific ethnicity classification
By Lydia Lewis, RNZ Pacific presenter/Bulletin editor Fiji Prime Minister Sitiveni Rabuka says that as far as Fiji is concerned, Fijians of Indian descent are Fijian. While Fiji is part of the Pacific, Indo-Fijians are not classified as Pacific peoples in New Zealand; instead, they are listed under Indian and ...1 day ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Alexa Scarlata, Research Fellow, Media & Communication, RMIT University As I write this, people around the country will be recovering from last nightâs Halloween shenanigans, perhaps even experiencing a candy-induced comedown. Luckily, this monthâs streaming picks include a serial killer flick thatâll ...2 days ago
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Keyzilla attacks wind farm.
Love the tie M8!
“Not while the photographers are here, Banksie!”
1. The Colossus of Rhodes astride his Cycle Tracks.
2. “How about this one for a Statue of Liberty, Bill?”
3. “It just fell into my hand, honest!”
“Give me your tired, your poor
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.”
1. “Gotta do something about the lack of toilets on this planet.”
2. “I admire its purity. A survivor… unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality. “
My shoes are getting wet.
I do own the wind
I can feel the electricity
Sorry John, you just need to stay out of sight a bit longer.
My turbine generates more hot air than the windmill on the next hill.
Does this short make me look a little bit pregnant?
đ “Does this short make me look a little bit pregnant?”
Na babe you’re simply glowing radiance, don’t frett so much M8!
“My God! All those missed motions. I am pregnant. But wait. Will I be famous as a Virgin Birth? Will a god annoint me as Second Coming? That fits! Oh yeah!”
Look, Just all piss and wind
…and this is what Horomia looks like.
When asked on his bold choice of tie colour Key responded that his wardrobe assistant had assured him it was simply a light shade of red. When pressed on whether he planned to confirm his assistant’s statement Key stated he didn’t feel it would be necessary to open his eyes before his next wardrobe change.
In the absence of toilets, the giant of Planet Key pisses on the poor
The Fairy Godfather waves his wand.
“200MW guaranteed when I, yet again, open my mouth to let my belly rumble.”
“On planet Key there will be no wind”
“By the time I’m finished this is all Kiwis will own of their electricity assets”
They work when it blows but I suck ALL THE TIME!
KEY: “Won’t a pink shirt mean people will want to punch me in the face?”
AIDE (under his breath): “Ah, that’s not why people want to punch you in the face.”
Pointing straight up.
“Look at me, growing fat off the land!”
Do I look as stupid as Jeanette Fitzsimmons, when she stood under one of these things with her arms in the air ….. hailing the savior of human kind?
Isn’t it interesting how bullshit acts like a windmill …. it just keeps going around and around.
air guitar fail number 24 – pee-emky and his unorthodox pick – wrong hand idiot!
Does this Capitalism make me look fat?
After the oil and gas subsidies, this little windmill is all we could afford.
When it came to wind generation, there was no one quite like Johnny Fartpants.
instead of a caption let’s revist some classics
some pleading from the theatrically minded
or some Trillion for the reality conscious
both of which are disturbingly apt this week
Sock tests wind
Let’s blow those schools away.
Bennett cosmetic surgery revealed
Windmill tilts at Donkey’s ok
drat! beat me to “tilting at windmill”
Jeez do I have to do this…what…yeah shit forgot its this or attending question time
Shut up Nasty people! The Wind is mine, ALL mine. Hahahaha
[But I got to eat a seriously big fucking crayfish – the size of a horse.]
Planet Key has no wee
They hold it all inside
Bodies bloat
They get to gloat
As the dolphins have all died.Â
(sorry, images of Mr Creosote coming on now)Â
Oh Gerry, you must stop eating Mac’ers. Poo!
You can have the water. I have the air that blows the clouds that creates rain. Maori Party 0, Key 1.
I can definitely feel it, now we have to figure a way to sell it and stop the Maarees from claiming it!
Ha! The only wind they can have is what I pass.
I can definitely feel it, now we have to figure a way to sell it and stop the Maoris from claiming it!
Ha! The only wind they can have is what I pass.
nice of Tony Ryall to lend me this shirt and tie
I HAS ALL OF YOUR WINDFARMS!
Flamboyant tie tries desperately to escape from Mad Despot.
Hey 99%: Blow this!
“The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind”
I love being PM,all these freebies are really cool.I will take this sharp shiny one home to Bronagh.I wonder where she will put it?
Great idea. We’ll force power prices up and subsidize them for politicians.
Lota hot air and wind there
“I’m such a dick I can hardly see my toes”
Sigh,…. time to start lying about going for morning runs again to cover for the lyposuction…
Over the hills and far away,
Teletubbies come to play ….
Time for teletubbies,
time for teletubbies,
time for teletubbies….
Tinkywinky. “Tinkywinky!”
Dipsy. “Dipsy!”
Laalaa. “Laalaa!”
Po. “Po!”
Teletubbies. “Teletubbies!”
Say, Heeeeee-lo! “Eh-oh!”
Tinkywinky. Dipsy. Laalaa. Po.
Teletubbies. “Teletubbies!”
Say Heeeeeee ……… “Uh-oh!”
“Where have the teletubbies gone?
Where have the teletubbies gone?”
On having tried his hand at running the country
Mr Key makes efforts of a similar effectiveness
to fly back to Planet Key
The rich are so lucky to have me!
We’ll build the orphanorium over here …
Windfarm here, (Maintained by orphans and their parents/prisoners … sweet) …
Prison for the older ones over there …..
M8! this is the plan over here!, write it down or something.
Look at my thickening midriff, I’m okay, what else is there to worry about?