Caption competition
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- Date published:
4:09 pm, March 23rd, 2015 - 68 comments
Categories: caption contest -
Tags: cows, milking
Via a bemused Lyndon Hood:
68 comments on “Caption competition ”
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- Release: Donât cut our lunches â clear message sent to GovernmentTens of thousands of people are demanding the Government commits to fully funding free and healthy school lunches. Â ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Govt makes U-turn on Suicide Prevention OfficeLabour welcomes the Governmentâs U-turn on the closure of the Suicide Prevention Office, says Labour Mental Health spokesperson Ingrid Leary. ...3 weeks ago
- Pharmac Chair appointed
Hon Paula Bennett has been appointed as member and chair of the Pharmac board, Associate Health Minister David Seymour announced today. "Pharmac is a critical part of New Zealand's health system and plays a significant role in ensuring that Kiwis have the best possible access to medicines,â says Mr Seymour. ...18 hours ago - Taking action on Fetal Alcohol Spectrum DisorderHundreds of New Zealand families affected by Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) will benefit from a new Government focus on prevention and treatment, says Health Minister Dr Shane Reti. âWe know FASD is a leading cause of preventable intellectual and neurodevelopmental disability in New Zealand,â Dr Reti says. âEvery day, ...2 days ago
- New sports complex opens in KaikoheRegional Development Minister Shane Jones today attended the official opening of Kaikoheâs new $14.7 million sports complex. âThe completion of the Kaikohe Multi Sports Complex is a fantastic achievement for the Far North,â Mr Jones says. âThis facility not only fulfils a long-held dream for local athletes, but also creates ...2 days ago
- Diplomacy needed more than everForeign Minister Winston Petersâ engagements in TĂŒrkiye this week underlined the importance of diplomacy to meet growing global challenges.  âReturning to the Gallipoli Peninsula to represent New Zealand at Anzac commemorations was a sombre reminder of the critical importance of diplomacy for de-escalating conflicts and easing tensions,â Mr Peters ...2 days ago
- Anzac Commemorative Address, Buttes New British Cemetery BelgiumAmbassador Millar, Burgemeester, Vandepitte, Excellencies, military representatives, distinguished guests, ladies and gentlemen â good morning and welcome to this sacred Anzac Day dawn service. It is an honour to be here on behalf of the Government and people of New Zealand at Buttes New British Cemetery, Polygon Wood â a deeply ...3 days ago
- Anzac Commemorative Address â NZ National Service, Chunuk BairDistinguished guests - Â It is an honour to return once again to this site which, as the resting place for so many of our war-dead, has become a sacred place for generations of New Zealanders. Â Our presence here and at the other special spaces of Gallipoli is made ...3 days ago
- Anzac Commemorative Address â Dawn Service, Gallipoli, TĂŒrkiyeMai ia tawhiti pamamao, te moana nui a Kiwa, kua tae whakaiti mai matou, ki to koutou papa whenua. No koutou te tapuwae, no matou te tapuwae, kua honoa pumautia. Â Ko nga toa kua hinga nei, o te Waipounamu, o te Ika a Maui, he okioki tahi me o ...4 days ago
- PM announces changes to portfoliosPaul Goldsmith will take on responsibility for the Media and Communications portfolio, while Louise Upston will pick up the Disability Issues portfolio, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon announced today. âOur Government is relentlessly focused on getting New Zealand back on track. As issues change in prominence, I plan to adjust Ministerial ...5 days ago
- New catch limits for unique fishery areasRecreational catch limits will be reduced in areas of Fiordland and the Chatham Islands to help keep those fisheries healthy and sustainable, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. The lower recreational daily catch limits for a range of finfish and shellfish species caught in the Fiordland Marine Area and ...5 days ago
- Minister welcomes hydrogen milestoneEnergy Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed an important milestone in New Zealandâs hydrogen future, with the opening of the countryâs first network of hydrogen refuelling stations in Wiri. âI want to congratulate the team at Hiringa Energy and its partners K one W one (K1W1), Mitsui & Co New Zealand ...5 days ago
- Urgent changes to system through first RMA Amendment BillThe coalition Government is delivering on its commitment to improve resource management laws and give greater certainty to consent applicants, with a Bill to amend the Resource Management Act (RMA) expected to be introduced to Parliament next month. RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop has today outlined the first RMA Amendment ...6 days ago
- Overseas decommissioning models consideredOverseas models for regulating the oil and gas sector, including their decommissioning regimes, are being carefully scrutinised as a potential template for New Zealandâs own sector, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. The Coalition Government is focused on rebuilding investor confidence in New Zealandâs energy sector as it looks to strengthen ...6 days ago
- Release of North Island Severe Weather Event InquiryEmergency Management and Recovery Minister Mark Mitchell has today released the Report of the Government Inquiry into the response to the North Island Severe Weather Events. âThe report shows that New Zealandâs emergency management system is not fit-for-purpose and there are some significant gaps we need to address,â Mr Mitchell ...6 days ago
- Justice Minister to attend Human Rights CouncilJustice Minister Paul Goldsmith is today travelling to Europe where heâll update the United Nations Human Rights Council on the Governmentâs work to restore law and order. âAttending the Universal Periodic Review in Geneva provides us with an opportunity to present New Zealandâs human rights progress, priorities, and challenges, while ...6 days ago
- Patterson reopens worldâs largest wool scouring facilityAssociate Agriculture Minister, Mark Patterson, formally reopened the worldâs largest wool processing facility today in Awatoto, Napier, following a $50 million rebuild and refurbishment project. âThe reopening of this facility will significantly lift the economic opportunities available to New Zealandâs wool sector, which already accounts for 20 per cent of ...7 days ago
- Speech to the Southland Otago Regional Engineering Collective Summit, 18 April 2024Hon Andrew Bayly, Minister for Small Business and Manufacturing At the Southland Otago Regional Engineering Collective (SOREC) Summit, 18 April, Dunedin  NgÄ mihi nui, Ko Andrew Bayly aho, Ko Whanganui aho  Good Afternoon and thank you for inviting me to open your summit today.  I am delighted ...7 days ago
- Government to introduce revised Three Strikes lawThe Government is delivering on its commitment to bring back the Three Strikes legislation, Associate Justice Minister Nicole McKee announced today. âOur Government is committed to restoring law and order and enforcing appropriate consequences on criminals. We are making it clear that repeat serious violent or sexual offending is not ...7 days ago
- New diplomatic appointmentsForeign Minister Winston Peters has today announced four new diplomatic appointments for New Zealandâs overseas missions.  âOur diplomats have a vital role in maintaining and protecting New Zealandâs interests around the world,â Mr Peters says.  âI am pleased to announce the appointment of these senior diplomats from the ...7 days ago
- Humanitarian support for Ethiopia and SomaliaNew Zealand is contributing NZ$7 million to support communities affected by severe food insecurity and other urgent humanitarian needs in Ethiopia and Somalia, Foreign Minister Rt Hon Winston Peters announced today. Â âOver 21 million people are in need of humanitarian assistance across Ethiopia, with a further 6.9 million people ...7 days ago
- Arts Minister congratulates Mataaho CollectiveMinister for Arts, Culture and Heritage Paul Goldsmith is congratulating Mataaho Collective for winning the Golden Lion for best participant in the main exhibition at the Venice Biennale. "Congratulations to the Mataaho Collective for winning one of the world's most prestigious art prizes at the Venice Biennale. âIt is good ...1 week ago
- Supporting better financial outcomes for KiwisThe Government is reforming financial services to improve access to home loans and other lending, and strengthen customer protections, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly and Housing Minister Chris Bishop announced today. âOur coalition Government is committed to rebuilding the economy and making life simpler by cutting red tape. We are ...1 week ago
- Trade relationship with China remains strongâChina remains a strong commercial opportunity for Kiwi exporters as Chinese businesses and consumers continue to value our high-quality safe produce,â Trade and Agriculture Minister Todd McClay says.  Mr McClay has returned to New Zealand following visits to Beijing, Harbin and Shanghai where he met ministers, governors and mayors and engaged in trade and agricultural events with the New ...1 week ago
- PMâs South East Asia mission does the businessPrime Minister Christopher Luxon has completed a successful trip to Singapore, Thailand and the Philippines, deepening relationships and capitalising on opportunities. Mr Luxon was accompanied by a business delegation and says the choice of countries represents the priority the New Zealand Government places on South East Asia, and our relationships in ...1 week ago
- $41m to support clean energy in South East AsiaNew Zealand is demonstrating its commitment to reducing global greenhouse emissions, and supporting clean energy transition in South East Asia, through a contribution of NZ$41 million (US$25 million) in climate finance to the Asian Development Bank (ADB)-led Energy Transition Mechanism (ETM). Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and Climate Change Minister Simon Watts announced ...1 week ago
- Minister releases Fast-track stakeholder listThe Government is today releasing a list of organisations who received letters about the Fast-track applications process, says RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop. âRecently Ministers and agencies have received a series of OIA requests for a list of organisations to whom I wrote with information on applying to have a ...1 week ago
- Judicial appointments announcedAttorney-General Judith Collins today announced the appointment of Wellington Barrister David Jonathan Boldt as a Judge of the High Court, and the Honourable Justice Matthew Palmer as a Judge of the Court of Appeal. Justice Boldt graduated with an LLB from Victoria University of Wellington in 1990, and also holds ...1 week ago
- Education Minister heads to major teaching summit in SingaporeEducation Minister Erica Stanford will lead the New Zealand delegation at the 2024 International Summit on the Teaching Profession (ISTP) held in Singapore. The delegation includes representatives from the Post Primary Teachersâ Association (PPTA) Te Wehengarua and the New Zealand Educational Institute (NZEI) Te Riu Roa. The summit is co-hosted ...1 week ago
- Value of stopbank project proven during cycloneA stopbank upgrade project in Tairawhiti partly funded by the Government has increased flood resilience for around 7000ha of residential and horticultural land so far, Regional Development Minister Shane Jones says. Mr Jones today attended a dawn service in Gisborne to mark the end of the first stage of the ...1 week ago
- Anzac commemorations, TĂŒrkiye relationship focus of visitForeign Affairs Minister Winston Peters will represent the Government at Anzac Day commemorations on the Gallipoli Peninsula next week and engage with senior representatives of the Turkish government in Istanbul.  âThe Gallipoli campaign is a defining event in our history. It will be a privilege to share the occasion ...1 week ago
- Minister to Europe for OECD meeting, Anzac DayScience, Innovation and Technology and Defence Minister Judith Collins will next week attend the OECD Science and Technology Ministerial conference in Paris and Anzac Day commemorations in Belgium. âScience, innovation and technology have a major role to play in rebuilding our economy and achieving better health, environmental and social outcomes ...1 week ago
- Comprehensive Partnership the goal for NZ and the PhilippinesPrime Minister Christopher Luxon held a bilateral meeting today with the President of the Philippines, Ferdinand Marcos Jr. The Prime Minister was accompanied by MP Paulo Garcia, the first Filipino to be elected to a legislature outside the Philippines. During todayâs meeting, Prime Minister Luxon and President Marcos Jr discussed opportunities to ...1 week ago
- Government commits $20m to Westport flood protectionThe Government has announced that $20 million in funding will be made available to Westport to fund much needed flood protection around the town. This measure will significantly improve the resilience of the community, says Local Government Minister Simeon Brown. âThe Westport community has already been allocated almost $3 million ...1 week ago
- TaupĆ takes pole positionThe Government is proud to support the first ever Repco Supercars Championship event in TaupĆ as up to 70,000 motorsport fans attend the TaupĆ International Motorsport Park this weekend, says Economic Development Minister Melissa Lee. âAnticipation for the ITM TaupĆ Super400 is huge, with tickets and accommodation selling out weeks ...1 week ago
- Cost of living support for low-income homeownersLocal Government Minister Simeon Brown has announced an increase to the Rates Rebate Scheme, putting money back into the pockets of low-income homeowners. âThe coalition Government is committed to bringing down the cost of living for New Zealanders. That includes targeted support for those Kiwis who are doing things tough, such ...2 weeks ago
- Government backing mussel spat projectThe Coalition Government is investing in a project to boost survival rates of New Zealand mussels and grow the industry, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones has announced. âThis project seeks to increase the resilience of our mussels and significantly boost the sectorâs productivity,â Mr Jones says. âThe project - ...2 weeks ago
- Government focused on getting people into workBenefit figures released today underscore the importance of the Governmentâs plan to rebuild the economy and have 50,000 fewer people on Jobseeker Support, Social Development and Employment Minister Louise Upston says. âBenefit numbers are still significantly higher than when National was last in government, when there was about 70,000 fewer ...2 weeks ago
- Clean energy key driver to reducing emissionsThe Governmentâs commitment to doubling New Zealandâs renewable energy capacity is backed by new data showing that clean energy has helped the country reach its lowest annual gross emissions since 1999, Climate Change Minister Simon Watts says. New Zealandâs latest Greenhouse Gas Inventory (1990-2022) published today, shows gross emissions fell ...2 weeks ago
- Earthquake-prone buildings review brought forwardThe Government is bringing the earthquake-prone building review forward, with work to start immediately, and extending the deadline for remediations by four years, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says. âOur Government is focused on rebuilding the economy. A key part of our plan is to cut red tape that ...2 weeks ago
- Thailand and NZ to agree to Strategic PartnershipPrime Minister Christopher Luxon and his Thai counterpart, Prime Minister Srettha Thavisin, have today agreed that New Zealand and the Kingdom of Thailand will upgrade the bilateral relationship to a Strategic Partnership by 2026. âNew Zealand and Thailand have a lot to offer each other. We have a strong mutual desire to build ...2 weeks ago
- Government consults on extending coastal permits for portsRMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop and Transport Minister Simeon Brown have today announced the Coalition Governmentâs intention to extend port coastal permits for a further 20 years, providing port operators with certainty to continue their operations. âThe introduction of the Resource Management Act in 1991 required ports to obtain coastal ...2 weeks ago
- Palestine protesters stage Gaza âdie-inâ as leaders call for step up in boycotts
Asia Pacific Report A score of Palestine solidarity protesters draped themselves in white shrouds with mock blood in a sombre âdie-inâ demonstration at Te Komitanga Square â the heart of Auckland, New Zealandâs largest city â today as speakers urged people to take a stronger boycott against Israeli products. The ...2 hours ago - Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michelle Grattan, Professorial Fellow, University of Canberra Tackling violence against women will be the sole agenda item for a national cabinet meeting Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has convened for Wednesday. The meeting, held remotely, follows thousands of Australians attending rallies across ...3 hours ago
- Biden hails âpress freedom, democracyâ but ignores Gaza media death toll of 142The protest outside the White House correspondentsâ dinner hotel. Image: Anatolu video screenshot APR More than two dozen Palestinian journalists had called for a boycott of the dinner, writing an open letter urging their American colleagues not to attend. âYou have a unique responsibility to speak truth to power and ...7 hours ago
- Fast-track Approvals Bill Presents A Serious Risk To New Zealand Exporters
âOur exporters should, therefore, be deeply concerned that the Fast-track Approvals Bill was not assessed for consistency with any of our free trade commitments prior to being introduced to the House,â says Gary Taylor, Chief Executive of the Environmental ...10 hours ago - 'Immigration changes necessary' – Stanford
Immigration Minister Erica Stanford says work has started on a broader accredited employer work visa review. ...10 hours ago - Green co-leader James Shaw came 'very close' to resigning as minister under Labour govtThe former minister reveals he "ended up storming out" of a Cabinet meeting over disagreements on climate change and biodiversity. ...13 hours ago
- NZCTU Welcomes Corporate Manslaughter Bill IntroductionNZCTU President Richard Wagstaff is calling on all political parties to support the new Memberâs Bill from Labourâs workplace relations and safety spokesperson Camilla Belich MP that would ensure negligent companies are held accountable when their employees ...13 hours ago
- US election forecaster with near-perfect track record not ready call 2024 just yetA historian with an uncanny track record of predicting US election winners tells RNZ's Sunday Morning that President Biden looks to be on track for another term, but things could still go very wrong for him. ...14 hours ago
- US election forecaster with near-perfect track record not ready to call 2024 just yetA historian with a track record of predicting US election winners tells RNZ's Sunday Morning that President Biden looks to be on track for another term, but things could still go wrong for him. ...14 hours ago
- Fish and quiz: The many uses of written parliamentary questionsMinisters have to answer thousands of written questions each year - but how are they used, and for what end? ...15 hours ago
- Former Deputy PM Paula Bennett appointed Pharmac board chairThe former National MP "brings a wealth of experience" to the role, David Seymour says. ...17 hours ago
- Inside the home of New Zealandâs greatest crime writer
Ngaio Marsh House is one of Christchurchâs best kept secrets â and contains more than a few mysteries of its own. Trust Ngaio Marsh to leave more than a few mysteries scattered through her house long after her departure. For a start, thereâs the curious concrete portal in the garden, ...18 hours ago - âApologies to DvoĆĂĄkâ: How a serenade for strings cemented one of New Zealand TVâs strongest...Appointment viewing has been lost to the mists of time, but memories of Montana Sunday Theatre can still be conjured by hitting play on a particular piece of classical music. âYouâre not going to be able to sell it.â Over 30 years on, Karen Bieleski still recalls how the task ...19 hours ago
- An Ode to .. King Luxon
Performance Review King Luxon sat behind His massive polished oak desk. It is Performance Review time. There is a knock on the door. âEnter!â says the King. In steps Minister of Disabilities and Carer Pedicures, Penny Simmonds. âI can explain everything âŠâ she begins. âFine,â says King Luxon, pressing the ...19 hours ago - In the studio with artist power couple Claudia Kogachi and Josephine JelicichThe pair opened their first fully collaborative exhibition, Nina for Flowers, last Saturday. Gabi Lardies visited their studio to find out who Nina is and what working together was like. âIt didnât start out like, âThis is a show about Nina,ââ says Josephine Jelicich, gripping a thermos of peppermint tea. ...22 hours ago
- An ode to the muesli bar, a national treasureThank you, Dr Maximilian Oskar Bircher-Benner, for your brilliant invention. Iâm another mid-20s Kiwi who had an OE last year. I hopped on my bicycle where France meets the Atlantic and cycled east. I pedalled through the Loire Valley, down rivers lined with willows and ancient wisteria-draped chateaus. I relished ...22 hours ago
- Government urged to hit the gas on revamp of road user chargesInfrastructure New Zealand is pushing for new road user charges to be brought in quicker to help relieve pressure on strained transport funding. ...1 day ago
- US student Palestine protests against Israelâs war on Gaza inspire global actionAsia Pacific Report From France to Australia, university pro-Palestine protests in the United States have now spread to several countries with students pitching on-campus camps. And students at Columbia and other US universities remain defiant as campuses have witnessed the biggest protests since the anti-Vietnam war and anti-apartheid eras in ...1 day ago
- Former Te Whatu Ora chairperson Rob Campbell criticises Health NZ's 'savings' directi...Rob Campbell said it shows "poor management" and is "frankly irresponsible". ...2 days ago
- âTo lead is to serveâ â Governor-General to call PM election in Solomon IslandsRNZ Pacific The race to form the next government of Solomon Islands could be a tight one, with no single party emerging from the election with enough seats to govern. Caretaker prime minister Manasseh Sogavareâs Our Party did the best, securing 15 out of the 50 seats in the House. ...2 days ago
- Bryce Edwards â FastTrackWatch: The Case for the Governmentâs Fast Track BillAnalysis by Dr Bryce Edwards, Democracy Project (https://democracyproject.nz) New Zealand Government’s Fast Track legislation. Many criticisms are being made of the Governmentâs Fast Track Approvals Bill, including by this writer. But as with everything in politics, every story has two sides, and both deserve attention. Itâs important to understand what the Government ...2 days ago
- NZ and TĂŒrkiye pledge cooperation during natural disastersThe two countries have "a long history of coming to each other's aid", including after the 2023 Turkish earthquakes, Winston Peters says. ...2 days ago
- Waste not, want not: New series Food Waste Kitchen turns food trash into treasureTara Ward talks to presenter Naomi Toilalo about the new TV show that turns food waste into a three course feast. Naomi Toilalo is standing in the warehouse at Good Neighbour Tauranga, helping unpack the two-and-a-half tonnes of rejected food that will arrive at the community support hub that day. ...2 days ago
- Vaping regulations fight 'immeasurably harder' under coalition – campaignerFocus on Politics - Successive governments have claimed crack downs on youth vaping, but the bending and breaking of rules seems pervasive. ...2 days ago
- Dog of the month: Scout, who is so independent she could be a catScout is our latest Dog of the Month. This feature was offered as a reward during our Whatâs Eating Aotearoa PledgeMe campaign. Thank you to Scoutâs human, Avril, for her support. Dog name: Scout (named after the little girl in To Kill a Mockingbird â she inherited the independent spirit ...2 days ago
- âI donât know if we were brave or stupidâ: Megan Alatini on changing reality TVMegan Alatini takes us through her life in TV, including âterribleâ daytime TV, the class of Carol Hirschfeld and her most embarrassing TrueBliss moment. When she responded to a vague newspaper ad asking âdo you have what it takes to be a popstar?â 25 years ago, Megan Alatini never guessed ...2 days ago
- Behind the counter: Wellington shopkeepersA new exhibition in Wellington showcases the faces behind your local goods and services. Back in 1977, when I was a fine arts student at the University of Canterbury, I took a series of photographs of Christchurch shopkeepers. The photos were for a calendar â a project for my end ...2 days ago
- Iranian Solidarity Group New Zealand Condemns Toomaj Salehi's Death Sentence And The New Aggres...Toomaj and his resistance to tyranny through his songs have become an icon for the youth of Iran, so his sentence has hit the nation hard. Toomaj Salehi is not the first artist to pay the price for standing with the people. ...2 days ago
- Short story: Calf Creek, by Anna ScaifeMy cousin Dylan and I spotted these big eels under the bridge that summer. We watched them lounging under the dark weed, facing into the flow of water, their mouths frozen open. Dylan and I couldnât stop thinking about those eels. The night we went down to the creek, we ...2 days ago
- Newsroom welcomes the Secret DiaryNewsroom, home of satire. My long-running weekly satirical series The Secret Diary has moved to Newsroom and will appear every Saturday, with Victor Billot’s wildly popular satirical Odes continuing to appear every Sunday. Diaries, Odes â while serious political columnists toil at meaningful opinions and stroke their chins to an ...2 days ago
- I saw âThe Signâ, and it opened up my eyes: All the fuss around Bluey, explainedTara Ward unravels the many nuanced layers of a cartoon about talking dogs. This is an excerpt from our weekly pop culture newsletter Rec Room. Sign up here. Itâs not often an episode of a childrenâs cartoon has adults sobbing into their sleeves, but thatâs exactly what happened this week when ...2 days ago
- The island where peopleâs stories are paramountThere’s an island in the far reaches of Auckland’s territory, sitting off the tip of the Coromandel Peninsula, 30 minutes by air from the city or four hours on the slow boat. Aotea Great Barrier is off-grid, it has a population of fewer than a thousand people ⊠and most ...2 days ago
- Jessica Tater has ambition without bordersWorking as a doctor in developing countries to help communities achieve better health outcomes is nothing short of a life goal for Jessica Tater. The University of Otago medical student has her sights firmly set on joining the international humanitarian organisation Doctors Without Borders/MĂ©decins Sans FrontiĂšres (MSF) when she qualifies ...2 days ago
- Australian author leads silence protest over âblood debtâ owed to PapuansAsia Pacific Report An Australian author and advocate, Jim Aubrey, today led a national symbolic one minuteâs silence to mark the âblood debtâ owed to Papuan allies during the Second World War indigenous resistance against the invading Japanese forces. âA promise to most people is a promise,â Aubrey said in ...2 days ago
- Israel delays Gaza Freedom Flotilla departure with bureaucratic âblockâAsia Pacific Report The Freedom Flotilla is ready to sail to Gaza, reports Kia Ora Gaza. All the required paperwork has been submitted to the port authority, and the cargo has been loaded and prepared for the humanitarian trip to the besieged enclave. However, organisers received word of an âadministrative ...2 days ago
- Have New Zealanders really been âmisledâ about AUKUS, or is involvement now a foregone conclusio...ANALYSIS: By Marco de Jong, Auckland University of Technology and Robert G. Patman, University of Otago When former prime minister Helen Clark spoke out against New Zealand potentially compromising its independent foreign policy by joining pillar two of the AUKUS security pact, Foreign Minister Winston Peters responded bluntly: On ...2 days ago
- Palestine protesters challenge TVNZ over Israeli ambassadorâs âpropagandaâPacific Media Watch Palestine solidarity protesters today demonstrated at the Auckland headquarters of Television New Zealand, accusing the countryâs major TV network of broadcasting âpropagandaâ backing Israelâs genocidal war on Gaza. About 50 protesters targeted the main entrance to the TVNZ building near Sky Tower and also picketed a side ...2 days ago
- Lynley Hood Opinion â Senator Fulbright must be spinning in his grave2 days ago
- Fast-track bill could affect NZ's reputation – Transparency InternationalThe ministers responsible for green-lighting major projects need to be open about potential conflicts of interest, says Transparency International. ...2 days ago
- Weâre all feeling the collective grief and trauma of violence against women â but this is the pr...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Anastasia Powell, Professor, Family and Sexual Violence, RMIT University It has been a particularly distressing start to the year. There is little that can ease the current grief of individuals, families and communities who have needlessly lost a loved one to menâs ...2 days ago
- Species living closely together in symbiosis is far older and way more common than you might thinkSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Gregory Moore, Senior Research Associate, School of Ecosystem and Forest Sciences, The University of Melbourne Lichen, the first described example of symbiosis. AdeJ Artventure/Shutterstock Once known only to those studying biology, the word symbiosis is now widely used. Symbiosis is the intimate ...2 days ago
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- Jobseekers get about $345 less than pensioners each fortnight. This gap is hurting, and is set to wi...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Peter Whiteford, Professor, Crawford School of Public Policy, Australian National University The governmentâs Economic Inclusion Advisory Committee has just published its second report. It was set up by Treasurer Jim Chalmers and Minister for Social Services Amanda Rishworth in 2022 to provide: ...2 days ago
- Does fighting inflation always lead to recession? What NZ data tellsHere is what 60 years of New Zealand data shows us. ...2 days ago
- The government's 20 trips abroad in AprilThe government appears committed to overseas visits with 14 ministers and MPs in 18 countries this month. ...2 days ago
- Government unveils fetal alcohol guidelines, plan for diagnosis trainingThe government is promising to step up the response to Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, promising to boost diagnoses and raise awareness. ...2 days ago
- Labor facing heavy defeat in Queensland, but faring better in federal pollsSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Adrian Beaumont, Election Analyst (Psephologist) at The Conversation; and Honorary Associate, School of Mathematics and Statistics, The University of Melbourne The Queensland state election will be held in October. A YouGov poll for The Courier Mail, conducted April 9â17 from a sample ...2 days ago
- Why the potential for another Donald Trump presidency is making Iran very nervousSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Amin Naeni, PhD candidate at Alfred Deakin Institute for Citizenship and Globalisation, Deakin University Thereâs been much talk in recent months about what a possible second Donald Trump presidency in the United States could mean for Europe, Russiaâs war in Ukraine, the ...2 days ago
- âThe worst piece of law proposed since 1979â: Reactions to the Fast-track Approvals BillA brief round-up of submissions on the controversial proposed law. This is an excerpt from our weekly environmental newsletter Future Proof. Sign up here. Last week, submissions on the controversial Fast-track Approvals Bill closed just hours after the government released a list of stakeholder organisations who were sent letters advising how they could ...3 days ago
- The Friday Poem: âCereal givingâ by Robin PeaceA poem from Robin Peaceâs new collection Detritus of Empire: feather / grass / rock. Cereal giving I see a womanâs hands, see her curious hands break a stalk as she walks through the tall prairie, the savannah, the steppe, wherever it was. See her idly bite the grass that ...3 days ago
- The Unity Books bestseller chart for the week ending April 26The only published and available best-selling indie book chart in New Zealand is the top 10 sales list recorded every week at Unity Booksâ stores in High St, Auckland, and Willis St, Wellington. AUCKLAND 1 Hemingwayâs Goblet by Dermot Ross (Mary Egan Publishing, $38) A handsomely produced (debossed cover, lovely ...3 days ago
- Te RĆ«nanga O NgÄti WhÄtua Welcomes Commissioner's Decision Regarding Awataha MaraeThe Commissioner's decision validates the longstanding efforts of the local community and ensures that Awataha Marae will be managed to serve the needs of the local community, particularly for hosting tangihanga. ...3 days ago
- We reconstructed landscapes that greeted the first humans in Australia around 65,000 years agoSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Tristan Salles, Associate professor, University of Sydney Examples of Australian landscapes. Unsplash Seventy thousand years ago, the sea level was much lower than today. Australia, along with New Guinea and Tasmania, formed a connected landmass known as Sahul. Around this time â ...3 days ago
- What do we lose when our old suburbs disappear?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Felicity Castagna, Lecturer, Creative Writing, Western Sydney University Day Day Market, Parramatta Photo: Garry Trinh I live on the edge of Parramatta, Australiaâs fastest-growing city, on the kind of old-fashioned suburban street that has 1950s fibros constructed in the post-war housing boom, ...3 days ago
- Does fighting inflation always lead to recession? What 60 years of NZ data can tell usSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michael Ryan, Teaching Fellow in Economics, University of Waikato GettyImages fatido/Getty Images There is an ongoing global debate over whether the high inflation seen in the aftermath of the COVID-19 pandemic can be lowered without a recession. New Zealand is not ...3 days ago
- After spending $700,000 on pins for Covid-19 workers, department now cutting costsA government office that set aside millions for lapel pins for pandemic workers is now looking to cut back on spending. ...3 days ago
- âA hell of a lot of funâ: Our reviews of Chris Isaakâs dazzling Auckland showThe âWicked Gameâ heartthrob is in his late 60s now. That didnât stop him putting on a lively, goofy and very sparkly show. Apart from âWicked Gameâ, which graces a sultry playlist of mine simply called đ, my last sustained Chris Isaak listening session took place when I was about ...3 days ago
- The Week in Politics: Days of drama and demotionsAnalysis - Two ministers were stripped of portfolios in a warning to Cabinet, drama broke out at the Waitangi Tribunal, and the gang patch ban bill ran into opposition. ...3 days ago
- Hear me out: All I want is a TrueBliss T-shirtTara Ward makes an impassioned plea for some vital pop culture merch. In April 1999, I became obsessed with a new reality television show called Popstars. Every Tuesday night, five strangers transformed into music royalty before my very eyes as Joe, Keri, Carly, Erika and Megan were chosen to form ...3 days ago
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I might not be able to hammer a nail, but I’ve spent 30 years milking a teat for all it’s worth.
Sorry no caption, just a question: is this a real photo? Head doesn’t fit.
Perhaps a fish-eye lens enlarging Key’s head. It looks distorted in other areas: curves on what look like straight edges etc.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/nznationalparty/4872869431/
apparently it is real but it screams wrong in all sorts of ways – lighting, scale, neck/spine alignment but then again – he never did prove he wasn’t a reptilian đ
God I wish there was video of this. Having seen him flouncing around with a hammer, there’s no way he would be capable of milking a cow without making a right fuckwit of himself.
The footage of Key with Sth Korean PM tonight on 3News looks like the source for that inane smug grin .. shaking hands across the table with their PM … pretty sure it’s the source, and a real fun someone did the rest today !
just an udder mudderf.cker
John Key is looking for Mike Sabin. Has anyone seen Mike?
‘Pull the udder one’
oh dear,
(facepalm…. why did i look at this !)
why?
Milking’s okay, but I’m more one for top-quality bullshit.
I’m normally up to my neck with crap.
No wonder he’s smiling – not even ankle deep, and he gets to second base…
These are Not Orivida cows.
Really , no lies đ
“Her name’s Judith, and boy does she love it when I squeeze her teats.”
“Look at me, look at me! In just six short years, I have tuned Nuslund into a lovely land of milk and bullshit!”
If I get my way this effluent will be going straight into our rivers!
Now lick the s**t off my boots NZ!
” Stand aside Nathan. Photo op”
What an udder disgrace we having been pulling Northlanders tits for over 70 years and now thanks to Peters we are serving up pork to these ungrateful country hicks.
So, the cows have all come home………………..
I’m quite good at this, actually – I’ve been milking the system for years!
I milked the system of money so i wouldnt have to do this for a living
Everytime I visit Paulas i have to do the washing up!
CEO Keys should have worn his glasses as he tries to persuade swing voters in Northland…
Ha! Who said I couldn’t change a lightbulb!
In the auditions for All Creatures Great and Small Deux, Keys fails abysmally on the grounds of never being great creature and not accepting his small penis syndrome….
Generilisimo Keys buries the hatchet with Pete The Ego George with a handshake, no hard feelings…
I knew becoming involved in Dirty Politics would come in handy one day..hurrah!
The cows complained on mass, we have feelings you know,,,,,,
Which of you two human scum let rip?
Its totally disgusting!
What u don’t know, is I cant get ma hand out arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!
National’s ECAN appointees show their commitment to water quality
Farmer: “HmmmâŠâŠ..should I tell him it’s a bull??”
Keys defies critics who said he was up to his neck in shit, look only up to my feet!
Ha!
Feel My Power!
Keys smirks through adversity as he looks for his lost golf club
One week pictured with pigs, this week cows, whats next week?
Well the worst PM…………………….. your own MP’s
I hope this cow does not shit on me like I have shit on New Zealand
Now cow, now!.
Oooh orivida, orrivida! (Dribble and spittle spilling out the side of his mouth!)
Your turn now numbnuts!
Milk brothers! Milked the country ……
Doxycycline is your friend John.
And the winner of the flag referendum is…hold on,,,,,its up here…….
Ok fellas now I have got my Green Credentials,,,,,shove all this green effluent shit into the harbour,,,they will never know…suckers…
Gawd I love this dictatorship, I mean elected postion
At the top secret GCSB spy school,Furher Keys congratulates his top agent for services in the field….
Now I know how the trickle down theory works.
No seriously, I mean it, this time I am taking the pissssss big time!!!
NZ Herald Breaking Front Page News ” Cow Gives Birth To Semi Human!”
I’m not your buddy, guy.
“We are very hands on, Sherlock! Just looking for 36-25-36 or any 10-80 by chance!”
This amount of slippery shit reminds me of a cabinet meeting.
Key is reincarnated as a dairy farmer
Disgraced currency speculator enjoys minimum wage labour
That’s a cow John! No bull!
I’m milking New Zealand for all it’s worth.
ThePullerKey – “(Cocktail party grimace) – I’m the 5th tit……”
Not of rural/dairying roots……have I got that right ?
Love the hair though……pretty yellow bloom……(falsetto) “I’m ivayyyylible…….”
it was a great joint, eh Nathe, wasn’t tit? .
Muldoon pictured appearing uncharacteristically oleaginous.
What’s the prize for the winner?
“Nah mate, I can’t be bothered with that shit – Jason photo-shopped me over Judith – shape of things to come eh đ Yeah, don’t tell the whale for chrissakes…”
A towny twit pulling some terrified tits and smiling smugly about it on Crosby/Textor camera to fool numerous New Zealand numbnuts some more.
John Key pays visit to actual source of own bullshit.
“I was getting low so I thought I pop up and fill up the limo. I owe a lot to these guys. Not that I pay them any more than I legally have to. I operate within the law.”
I’m getting down and dirty with our wealth creators. I’ll stand in the cow poo with the best of them, because I know the old saying ‘Where there’s muck there’s brass’. And because I’m a showman I’ll sing you Tom Lehrer’s Pollution song.
I never thought I’d be fumbling so low with tits like these. (Gives awkward smile.) Still it’s a dirty job and a PM with Crosby Textor managing the show has to do the hard stuff as he’s told.
Awww yeah!
“Just doing a refresher on my number skills ; One, two, three, four, five, six! Wow, six titties!”
And the cow said. Can I crap on crap
Can someone move those piles of shit out of my excrement please.
“In just a few moments I’ll be able to reveal some of the new jobs being created in Northland…”
Cow talk This bloke is getting on my tits big time.