Caption competition
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12:00 pm, April 11th, 2015 - 86 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour, The Standard -
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86 comments on “Caption competition ”
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- Dance Magic
Well, I've been there, sitting in that same chairWhispering that same prayer half a million timesIt's a lie, though buried in disciplesOne page of the Bible isn't worth a lifeThere's nothing wrong with youIt's true, it's trueThere's something wrong with the villageWith the villageSomething wrong with the villageSongwriters: Andrew Jackson ...10 hours ago - Government Forces Universities to Enforce “Free Speech” While Limiting Universities̵...
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In a thought bubble above his head. (boy I’m nervous. I fell like the devil is behind me and breathing down my neck)
Luke I am your father …
TV3’s new soap: “Working For Satan”
(stolen from https://twitter.com/Megapope/status/586696892278374400 )
Heh, was just about to suggest a competition on what Julie Christie’s new soap will be.
“The Screwyou tape Letters” mini series for tv 3 (with apologies to C.S.Lewis).
The organ grinder and the monkey!
Which is which?
What’s it with middle-aged slightly balding Kiwi blokes and the tousled hair look? Whaddya reckon he spent over $200 for that haircut?
Weldon: “Mr Key usually has his hand up my arse as a precaution. But tonight he says he’s feeling confident enough to let me go solo.”
When I said I’d watch his back, I didn’t mention I was looking for a place to stick the knife….
John Key Mark I and Mark too.
clever
Ta
“Quality doesn’t matter. It is all about the quantity. The bum does look big in there!”
“I want to run my hands through his gently wavy hair, while we swim in a pool of cash.”
Look!
A ‘no hands’ sock puppet!
Penny Bright
If this guy lived in his own freehold house, paid no taxes and no rates while telling other wealthy people they should pay more tax – would he be a hero to you for acting just like you do ?
how much tax do you reckon Weldon pays?
Tracey
If he has a freehold house in Auckland then he’d be wealthy by anyone’s measure. If he was wealthy and banging on that wealthy people should pay more tax while paying none himself then I’d call him a fraud – like I do with Penny ( I’m a hard core left who is wealthy and pay no tax ) Bright.
How do you know how much tax Penny pays?
She stated it when pressed in a blog post on kiwiblog. She actually went as far as mocking me saying I was jealous she had a freehold property while I was renting. She’s a class act lefty that one.
Stated what?
Find out for yourself try this search in google;
‘burt penny jealous freehold house site:www.kiwiblog.co.nz’
Vary them to include/exclude; tax, rates, government funded services, multi national banks, google, fraud of a lefty, freehold, occupy
and see what you can find.
Otherwise – ask her. On other blogs she’s readily admitted paying no tax and refusing to pay her rates. Perhaps on this blog Penny like to keep up her charade that she is a lefty rather than a wealthy individual contributing nothing while demanding others don’t act like she does.
Sorry burt, I thought you said you knew how much tax she paid. Now you want me to figure it out for you?
How much tax is she supposed to be paying anyway? And how would you know?
There is no point in me telling you – you’re going to ignore my information anyway. I’ve said she pays no tax, she’s got every right to argue that – I don’t see her denying it on this blog.
But just for you I’ll ask her every time I see her post on this blog and lets see if she can confirm or deny it for you. Best I can do given you’re so selective in what you believe that you aren’t even prepared to acknowledge your preferred political ideology has ended in tears every time its been tried in NZ for the last 50+ years.
I’m having trouble following that.
Are you saying you do know how much tax she’s supposed to be paying?
Or you don’t?
You’re making shit up as you go now felix.
I said she pays no tax – you asked how I know. I told you. You didn’t want to listen and now you think I’m asking you to figure it out when I told you you could verify it with her yourself.
I picking you don’t care if she pays no tax and owns a freehold property because she supports the same failed ideology as you and the fact she behaves like a hard core capitalist is OK with you.
Yeah, I know you said she pays no tax.
I’ve been asking how you know how much tax she’s supposed to be paying.
Also I have no problem with people owning houses freehold and I can’t imagine why you would either.
In burt-world, you can’t have assets and vote Left.
He seems to think that a dog-eat-dog society is the only option.
TINA
burt,
If you’re renting then a vote for National is a vote for worse housing affordability and worse rental conditions. Have you been following any news in the last 6 years or have you taken a few too many #teamkey enemas?
Housing:
http://thestandard.org.nz/nationals-social-housing-policy-in-action/
http://thestandard.org.nz/dollar-parity/#comment-996869
And here’s more on National’s priorities:
“If he has a freehold house in Auckland then he’d be wealthy by anyone’s measure.”
I have relatives in Auckland who have freehold houses. They’re middle class and no more wealthy than relatives who live elsewhere in NZ. They’re just old and bought and paid off their mortgage in a time when that was normal in that area. Please be careful about how you attach judgements.
Mark – my words ….
Penny Bright
If you’re not going to be nice to my little friend you can just go away, so there!
‘…..and you can’t even see my lips moving….”
“I for one welcome our new NACToid overlords.”
Only one thing missing in that photo.
The door sign, Tosser Club In. Members Only.
So those who want this leftard clap trap show and are prepared to put your own money behind it raise your hands ? anyone ? Anyone at all ?
i dunno, do you think journalists should question the State or should they just be part of its PR machine?
when will you stop licking keys butt burt?
Of course they should question the state. But I think you are confused. TV3 isn’t a state run monopoly where dear leader calls the shots. It’s a business and Campbell’s ratings are shit. See in your ideal lefty ( guaranteed to fail ideology ) there is no notion of questioning the state – lucky we don’t have your preferred political system fully implemented eh.
Campbell isn’t “left” you fool, and my preferred political system is one that is accountable and honest, not a pack of capitalist bankster cronies selling off the future of NZ. Do you have a moral compass or is that for sale like everything else in the Nactoid universe?
We’re not in Guatemala now ropata…
… and my preferred political system is one that is accountable and honest, not a pack of
capitalist banksterunion croniessellingripping off thefuture of NZ.workers to fund highly paid politicians.Are we having fun doing talking points yet ?
But seriously – if Campbell isn’t the sweat heart of the left – why are only left wing blogs crying over his potential axing ?
I guess it could be nothing to do with his political view other than he appears to join her majesties loyal (unthinking) opposition being against the nasty evil baby eating John Key.
Your last sentence is surprisingly showing a glimmer of understanding.
Campbell is one of the few TV journos not tarred by the Dirty Politics scandal.
It’s not a left-vs-right thing, it’s about ethical journalism and reporting things that matter to Kiwis not the latest Beehive spin.
I wouldn’t trust any journalist who just nods and goes along with whatever lines are spun from leaders like Bliar, Bush, or John P Key.
As for why the right wing outlets aren’t complaining, you work it out.
So succinct in your last paragraph Burt. Succinct most times means the guts of the matter. Thanks….
“See in your ideal
leftycorporate (guaranteed to failalready failing almost everybody ideology ) there is no notion of questioning thestategods of the market – lucky we don’t quite have your preferred political system fully implemented just yet eh.”Oh this is fun. retrospectively 😀 editing burt’s brainfarts.
But of course Burt’s definition of that wonderful democratic institution the right “to question” is to go no further than this – once every two years slightly raise one eyebrow. And with the heel of a hand smash it back into line so no one will notice and report the ghastliness of it to The GodKey’s Top Drawer.
‘Cept sorry Burt…….the story is that nowadays no one’s reporting back. Anyone who might is too busy assessing his/her political odds in these days of impending George III. No shortage of cocktail party grimaces however, as per usual. Look for more fuck-ups. Not that the Theist Being and the inner–cabal would listen if they were told. It’s called third-termitis.
There’s only sadness in this for you Burt. Macrame, as a suggestion…….?
“My work is almost done! I have destroyed state assets, destroyed privacy, destroyed state education, destroyed adult community education night classes, destroyed railways, destroyed ethics in government, destroyed truth and honesty, destroyed surplus, destroyed MMP and I have destroyed democracy among other things. I have one more thing to do before I bugger off to USA, Mark. I need you to help me here : Destroy that courageous caring journalist, the thorn on our side, that ‘little creep!”
“Spin that bullshit boy and spin it good. Ya hear? “Ya ol’ pappy John is a watchin’ ya boy.”
spot on
What’s the prize?
“Bling it on!” How to sit modestly whilst still showing off the matching gold cufflinks and watch.
Another spineless sycophant under my spell. God they’re so easy. G’wan my son, make me proud. Don’t like you but you’re useful.
Freedom of speech is not alive and well on Campbell Live.
Campbell knows what poverty is, Key does not.
The competition avoids the real John Key.
“You are a numbers man, John. What is the ‘number’ for Winston Peters to win the Northland buy election, John?”
“Ah, that is easy! Zero! “
It’s the Chuck and Dave show.
Hey Mark I didn’t like being called to account by Campbell so now sort it
People have been talking about current affairs lately. I want to categorically deny that I am having a current affair. Indeed I have not had one since I married.
I`ve got your back,Mark
They do make a lovely couple.
Us rats must stick together too much anti MSM poison being sprayed. Did Campbell drink the 1080 cocktail we served him?
That hair, Mark. Is it Regaine, or Advanced Hair?
weldon – this is my sincere telling the truth face
key – mine too
“Ladies and gentlemen, I am just gonna state the obvious: we have a doppelgänger in our midst.”
Dudes, I’m so ripped right now that I have a 6-pack on my forehead and John can’t see it!
The unsmiling assassin
Let’s be clear, the Jono and Ben show is not a euphemism for John Key and Paula Bennett on the campaign trail in Northland.
I will be watching you, look after Paul, and try and get Mike on board
“My name is Mark, and I’ve been sober for about fifteen minutes…”
“… but unlike John behind me I am not yet suffering from Korsakoff’s syndrome ”.
“And for my next trick, I am going to fart in your general direction!”
NEW FROM TV3:
“The Two Piranhas”, NZ’s new **REAL** reality show, where the Two Piranhas unleash chaos and mayhem in the newsroom as they aim for total media control.
I’m so proud of my mini me right now I could just hug him to bits.
( thinks key)
Some people may say that TV3’s News and Current Affairs will be fully controlled by the National Government and it’s lackey’s and puppets. I couldn’t possibly comment,
“Yeah well Wegewege called from Florida – near Cuba. Said John needed a hand so I came straight down. Oh he’s OK, don’t worry about it. He’s Just sulking. Winston called him a 13,000 vote epic-fail-fuckwit and it’s taking time……you know,…..expunge the facts.”
“Anyway, let me introduce the Prime Minster Mr ShonKey Python…….fresh from Melbourne – near Northland.”
I’m the ‘block, he’s the butcher.
“oh shit I don’t have a pulse,Mark help me here,I don’t have a pulse!!!….shit if I hav’nt got a pulse it means I don’t have a heart!!!!,god Mark this means I’m a heartless neo lib like you……
Weldon: “never mind the truth, count the money”
“I don’t even have a phone”
Thank you I am honoured to have finished second in Bastard of The Year competition…
Yet I can now reveal the winner is………………
CEO Keys, What a fooking rank amateur,,,,,
Just look at him, he ain’t no professional,,,,,
,Hes lying without the use of a auto cue….
How damn demeaning to our profession!!!!
Okdokey,,,,The Replacement for Jeremy Fartson is…..
Keys thinking………………………….Hell calls himself a member of the conservative elite……There is no way that suit is anywhere near an Armani…….what cheap shit
Thank you all for your good wishes,,,,,now John and I are going to enjoy our civil partnership, at your expense with a 2 week golfing honeymoon in Hawaii…
Dunce Keys,,, ermm what that sign on his back,,,Kick Em? Ermmmm what is that? oh well it means nothing, i will do my usual nothing
Clash Of The “Tie”tans……Yellow Or Blue,,Your Choice or A Referendum
CEO Keys, Ha Talk all you like, I pull your strings, you upstart….!
Ghostly Banker/Business/Elite, Figue Behind Genrillismo Keys,,,,
Ha!!! Look Smug all you like, we pull your strings Keys…!
Lynton Diahorrea Stains Crosby,,, makes rare public appearance behind Keys