Caption contest
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2:30 pm, May 25th, 2011 - 41 comments
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AUSTERITYText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedMy spreadsheet insists This pain leads straight to glory (File not found) Read more ...5 days ago - Minimum wage âincreaseâ is an effective cut
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- Thank You
Hi all,I'm pretty overwhelmed by all your messages and emails today; thank you so very much.As much as my newsletter this morning was about money, and we all need to earn money, it was mostly about world domination if I'm honest. 😉I really hate what’s happening to our country, and ...1 week ago - 2024 SkS Weekly Climate Change & Global Warming News Roundup #50
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Hi,“What I love about New Zealanders is that sometimes you use these expressions that as Americans we have no idea what those things mean!"I am watching a 30-something year old American ramble on about how different New Zealanders are to Americans. It’s his podcast, and this man is doing a ...1 week ago - Chris Penkâs Hate Parade
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All those tears on your cheeksJust like deja vu flow nowWhen grandmother speaksSo tell me a story (I'll tell you a story)Spell it out, I can't hear (What do you want to hear?)Why you wear black in the morning?Why there's smoke in the air? Songwriter: Greg Johnson.Mōrena all ☀️Something a ...1 week ago
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Returning to the model that was failing for most polytechnics and Institutes of Technology is not the answer. ...2 days ago
- Release: National buries 1019 planned homes
Itâs been revealed that National has cancelled 60 percent of its housing projects planned before mid-2025 amidst housing woes. ...3 days ago
- Release: Rule-Czar bill a right-wing power grab
The Government is quietly undertaking consultation on the dangerous Regulatory Standards Bill over the Christmas period to avoid too much attention. ...3 days ago
- Release: Why not both? Luxon shuns Waitangi celebrations
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon is running away from problems of his own creation, with his decision not to go to Waitangi. ...3 days ago
- Govtâs âfree speechâ legislation stokes fear, not freedom
The Governmentâs planned changes to the freedom of speech obligations of universities is little more than a front for stoking the political fires of disinformation and fear, placing teachers and students in the crosshairs. ...3 days ago - Release: Nicola Willis spirals country deeper into recession
The economy shrank 1% this quarter and New Zealand has tumbled into the depths of a recession of Nicola Willisâ making. ...4 days ago
- Release: Hikes for company directors but not ordinary Kiwis
Working people are going backwards while company directors are being given huge pay hikes. ...4 days ago
- ECE no place to cut corners
The Ministry of Regulationâs report into Early Childhood Education (ECE) in Aotearoa raises serious concerns about the possibility of lowering qualification requirements, undermining quality and risking worse outcomes for tamariki, whÄnau, and kaiako. ...4 days ago
- Release: Strengthening Justice Services for New Zealanders
A Bill to modernise the role of Justices of the Peace (JP), ensuring they remain active in their communities and connected with other JPs, has been put into the ballot. ...5 days ago
- Release: Labour will continue fight against destructive projects
Labour will continue to fight unsustainable and destructive projects that are able to leap-frog environment protection under Nationalâs Fast-track Approvals Bill. ...5 days ago
- Green Government will revoke dodgy fast-track projects
The Green Party has warned that a Green Government will revoke the consents of companies who override environmental protections as part of Fast-Track legislation being passed today. ...5 days ago
- Government for the wealthy keeps pushing austerity
The Green Party says the Half Year Economic and Fiscal Update shows how the Government is failing to address the massive social and infrastructure deficits our country faces. ...5 days ago
- Release: Visa changes let migrant workers be paid less
The Governmentâs latest move to reduce the earnings of migrant workers will not only hurt migrants but it will drive down the wages of Kiwi workers. ...5 days ago
- Release: Nightmare before Christmas for Nicola Willis
With more debt and a larger deficit, Nicola Willisâ reputation is in tatters after her failure to return the Governmentâs books to surplus. ...5 days ago
- Warning to Fast-Track Applicants â âExploit the Whenua, Face the Consequencesâ
Te PÄti MÄori has this morning issued a stern warning to Fast-Track applicants with interests in mining, pledging to hold them accountable through retrospective liability and to immediately revoke Fast-Track consents under a future Te PÄti MÄori government. This warning comes ahead of todayâs third reading of the Fast-Track Approvals ...5 days ago
- Release: Govt cuts wages for lowest paid NZers⊠again
For the second year running, the government has effectively cut wages for the lowest paid workers in New Zealand. ...6 days ago
- Govtâs miserly 1.5% minimum wage will take workers backwards
The Governmentâs announcement today of a 1.5 per cent increase to minimum wage is another blow for workers, with inflation projected to exceed the increase, meaning itâs a real terms pay reduction for many. ...6 days ago
- Release: Govt shirking responsibility for rate hikes
All the Government has achieved from its announcement today is to continue to push responsibility back on councils for its own lack of action to help bring down skyrocketing rates. ...6 days ago
- Luxonâs âlocalismâ strikes again
The Government has used its final post-Cabinet press conference of the year to punch down on local government without offering any credible solutions to the issues our councils are facing.   ...6 days ago
- Release: Govt breaks promise on EV chargers
The Government has failed to keep its promise to âsuper chargeâ the EV network, delivering just 292 chargers - less than half of the 670 chargers needed to meet its target. ...6 days ago
- Greens call for end to subsidies for Methanex
The Green Party is calling for the Government to stop subsidising the largest user of the countryâs gas supplies, Methanex, following a report highlighting the multi-nationalâs disproportionate influence on energy prices in Aotearoa. ...6 days ago
- Govt child poverty targets allow for increase in poverty
The Green Party is appalled with the Governmentâs new child poverty targets that are based on a new âpersistent povertyâ measure that could be met even with an increase in child poverty. ...1 week ago
- Release: Four weeks annual leave under threat
The Governmentâs attack on workers continues with news it is scrapping work on the Holidays Act. ...1 week ago
- Govtâs emissions plan for measly 1% reduction
New independent analysis has revealed that the Governmentâs Emissions Reduction Plan (ERP) will reduce emissions by a measly 1 per cent by 2030, failing to set us up for the future and meeting upcoming targets.  ...1 week ago
- Greens stand in solidarity with Whakaata MÄori on sad day
The loss of 27 kaimahi at Whakaata MÄori and the end of its daily news bulletin is a sad day for MÄori media and another step backwards for Te Tiriti o Waitangi justice. ...1 week ago
- Sanctions regime to create more hardship for families
Yesterday the Government passed cruel legislation through first reading to establish a new beneficiary sanction regime that will ultimately mean more households cannot afford the basic essentials. ...1 week ago
- Govt gifts renters housing anxiety for Christmas
Today's passing of the Government's Residential Tenancies Amendment Billâwhich allows landlords to end tenancies with no reasonâignores the voice of the people and leaves renters in limbo ahead of the festive season. ...1 week ago
- Release: National Party urged to support modern slavery legislation
Labour is urging the Prime Minister to walk the talk and support legislation combating modern slavery. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Labour has lost confidence in the Speaker
The Speaker of the New Zealand Parliament made an unprecedented decision on the government amendment to the Fast Track Approvals Bill last night. ...2 weeks ago
- One year on, still no progress on new ferries
Todayâs announcement from the Government on its plan for new ferries throws more uncertainty on the future of the countryâs rail network. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Nicola Willisâ smaller ferries will cost more
After wasting a year, Nicola Willis has delivered a worse deal for the Cook Strait ferries that will end up being more expensive and take longer to arrive. ...2 weeks ago
- Bill to sanction unlawful occupation of Palestine
Green Party co-leader Chlöe Swarbrick has today launched a Memberâs Bill to sanction Israel for its unlawful presence in the Occupied Palestinian Territory, as the All Out For Gaza rally reaches Parliament. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Labour fully supports greyhound racing ban
The Government has done the right thing in moving to ban greyhound racing. ...2 weeks ago
- Greyhound racing industry ban marks new era for animal welfare
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Now I can practise getting my fingers up the skirts.
After a deeply hostile reception from the elderly audience, Grey Power Chairwoman, Elsie Price, hands a humiliated John Key his balls back (albeit covered with nice knitted doilies).
John Key about to dress down the elderly for making knitted goods featuring a red tie instead of his preferred blue.
a padded cute and cuddly cloth covering a sterile metal teapot while expelling nothing but hot air….
http://kids.niehs.nih.gov/lyrics/teapot.htm
I’m a little teapot, short and stout
Here is my handle [one hand on hip], here is my spout [other arm out straight]
When I get all steamed up, hear me shout
Just tip me over and pour me out!
[as song ends, lean over and tip arm out like a spout]
I’m a clever teapot, yes it’s true
Here’s an example of what I can do
I can change my handle to my spout [switch arm positions and repeat tipping motion]
Just tip me over and pour me out
I’m a clever teapot, yes it’s true
Here’s an example of what I can do
I can change my handle to my spout
Just tip me over and pour me out
[Edit: Too slow, Carol beat me to it]
Three empty vessels.
We’ll stand this one in Epsom and this one in Ilam.
But Banks isn’t stout, although like Gerry is a bigoted authoritarian redneck. Which makes Banks a strange fit for an Act Party that Brash supposedly wants to bring back to its libertarian roots.
From what I’ve seen, scratch a libertarian and you’ll find the authoritarian core.
To be worn as a hat and the slit so he can breath. Have not worked out how to shut him up yet.
“Well, I thought they were appropriate wedding gifts for Wills and Kate”
I’m a little teapot
short and stout
Here is my handle
Here is my spout…
but as for tangible policies about how to enable economic recovery
after savagely slashing public services and making foolhardy soundbytes
about new government research and development funding policies from
the opposition,
I can’t actually find any…
Ive got my hands full here. But so far all I’ve got is the stripes, can someone tack on the stars?
NEW TEA PARTY CENTREFOLD DISPLAYS LABIAL SKILLS
“I used to be the Prim Minster don’t ya know, now who wanted Earl Grey?”
Keys new brilliant work scheme!! đ
get knitting
Go back to Nu Zild they said. Lead the country they said.
“Aw! I sed I wanted to sell SOEs, not cups o teas.”
John Key believed the hand knitted jerseys would keep his Turbo charged growth pixies warm all winter.
Mick Aston eat you heart out. I’m digging a bigger hole here in li’l old Noo Zild than you ever have anywhere.
I said I wanted to hold big jugs not tea pots in rugs.
đ
Please America sign the TPPA, you can have our country and we’ll even throw in these tea cosies
With an election coming up, I’d say it was ‘time for a cuppa’.
“I would like to introduce to you the two Treasury officials that provided the economic forecast that Bill based this year’s budget on…”
“These are for….? Who’s John Kerwin? “
‘We’ll, the tea leaves forecast economic growth in the next few years. Um, well, Bill said they did last year also, but we are back in recession, so, um, er, we’ll just borrow a bit more money for the tax cuts”.
Lot #9827 is a nice pair of tea cozies modeled by the former Prime Minister Shonkey the Honkey. He’s also for sale… Do I hear 5 cents… 5 cents anyone? One cent then?
So I have little Muppet, middle sized Muppet and you guessed it the biggest Muppet of them all John key Muppet.
“And yaz all tought I wes dicted ta P.”
“Look wat Brownlee looted for us frim Christchurch Bronagh.”
If they had been looted from Christchurch they would not be blue and white. Maybe they have been photoshopped, like Bronagh’s top.
Debt in NZ is a huge problem, that’s why I John Key who have helped so many who are indebt. or took on debt, and got rich servicing them, should solve the debt crisis, first by distracting you to this things I’m holding.
NZ owes billions to foreigners and that money needed a currency trader, to provide the principle in NZ dollars and swap the profits into foreign currency. Like these two money bags I’m holding up.
Police catch Wanaka yarn bomber in the act.
“If I lose the election I’ve got the equipment for my new career of tea leaf reading given I’m the biggest tea leaf of them all,” John Key declared proudly.
I’ve pissed in them and the dumb pricks will still vote me in.
I’m a little teapot, short and stout,
My mates get the pot, you get what trickles out,
When I get all steamed up, hear me mumble,
It’s all about me, please don’t grumble
I’m a clever teapot, yes it’s true
I can take your money, and then blame you
I can help my private mates by bailing them out,
I have a whole country now and it’s my shout.
“Trew! Wen ya sed ya wented ta be me daddy Don, I didn’t think it wes a wife swap as wel. I never signed up fer bringin yas a cip of tea da mornin.”
“Tin pot dictator tries to pull the wool over his intentions.”
“You can’t afford the milk?”