Caption Contest
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1:55 pm, June 19th, 2012 - 60 comments
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Te Pāti Māori Co-leaders Rawiri Waititi and Debbie Ngarewa-Packer welcome today’s ruling from the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA), which found that a Hobson's Pledge advertisement regarding customary marine titles was misleading and socially irresponsible. The two-page wraparound ad, published in The New Zealand Herald, suggested that nearly the entire coastline ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Benefit numbers continue to soar under National
National’s all pain approach to beneficiaries has yielded no gain as benefit numbers continue to surge past projected figures. ...3 weeks ago
- Casey Costello: What Once Was…
Entering politics is a privilege afforded to very few and, as the saying goes, with great power comes great responsibility. Being an MP is a call to service. Whatever your politics you have a duty to show up. Whatever your party's policy, you have made a promise to those who ...3 weeks ago
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Sanctions on beneficiaries have sky-rocketed since the Coalition Government came to power, pushing more families into poverty. ...3 weeks ago
- International Energy Agency issues wake-up call on climate action
Today’s report from the International Energy Agency highlights how far this Government’s actions are dragging us backwards in the fight against climate change. ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Lack of funding puts pressure on frontline Police
News that 173 roles are being cut at Police will only put more pressure on the frontline. ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Bipartisan agreement on outdated marriage law
Changes to outdated relationships legislation has passed its third reading giving family violence survivors the power to quickly dissolve abusive marriages. ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Cuts to Apprenticeship Boost will fail future NZ
The Government’s cuts to the Apprenticeship Boost programme will leave New Zealand without the workforce it needs to build homes, schools and hospitals. ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Sluggish economy means struggles ahead for Kiwis
While today’s inflation numbers are good news for Kiwis, there are still struggles ahead with rising rents, rates, insurance and high unemployment. ...3 weeks ago
- Stats show Medsafe accelerates approval assessments
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New requirements for government agencies to pay their invoices faster and adopt labour-saving technology are an important part of our plan to rebuild the economy and support small businesses, Small Business and Manufacturing Minister Andrew Bayly and Economic Development Minister Melissa Lee say. “The Government is ambitious about lifting New ...1 hour ago
- Speech – Diwali 2024
Namaste. Namaskar. Namaskaram. Vanakkam. Sat Sri Akal. Kem chho. Greetings to you all. It is my great privilege, as Minister for Ethnic Communities, to host this year’s Diwali Celebration at Parliament. I am truly excited to be with you all for Diwali as your Minister, and I warmly welcome each ...17 hours ago
- Accelerating maths achievement for Kiwi kids
The Government is continuing to transform maths education, by trialling a targeted maths acceleration programme to give more Kiwi kids confidence in mathematics. “After discovering just 22 per cent of Year 8 students are at the expected standard for maths, we launched our Make it Count Action Plan to give our ...18 hours ago
- Government’s creative sector strategy released
The Government’s creative sector strategy is designed to increase Kiwis’ engagement with culture and creativity and to boost its economic contribution, Arts Minister Paul Goldsmith says. “Amplify has been released for public consultation and I encourage people to read the strategy and to share their feedback. “There’s an opportunity to ...24 hours ago
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Associate Finance Minister David Seymour has asked the Natural Hazards Commission (NHC) to make changes to how it delivers the On-sold support package to prevent a cost blowout while helping eligible homeowners repair their homes in a timely manner. The On-sold programme was set up by the Government in 2019 ...1 day ago
- Todd McClay to lead large trade mission to China
Trade and Agriculture Minister Todd McClay will lead a large trade delegation to the 7th annual China International Import Expo (CIIE) in Shanghai next week, followed by a visit to Guangzhou. This year, almost 70 New Zealand companies will participate in CIIE, to interact with over 3,400 exhibitors and 410,000 visitors. “This ...2 days ago
- New Charter to guarantee better access for hunting and fishing
Minister for Hunting and Fishing Todd McClay has today launched an Access Charter (the Charter) to ensure better access for recreational hunting and fishing on public conservation land (PCL) across New Zealand. “This Charter establishes guiding principles for the Department of Conservation (DOC) to provide clear and transparent decisions on ...3 days ago
- Pou Whenua blessing honours Tongariro
A beautiful new Pou Whenua at the beginning of the Tongariro Alpine Crossing will introduce visitors to the sacred landscape they are entering, says Conservation Minister Tama Potaka. Mr Potaka attended a blessing for the specially carved Pou Whenua at Mangatepopo, at the start of the track on 1 November. ...4 days ago
- New members appointed to the NZTA Board
Transport Minister Simeon Brown has today announced two new appointments to the New Zealand Transport Agency (NZTA) Board. Mary-Anne Macleod and Mike Rudge have both been appointed as members for three-year terms commencing 1 November 2024 and ending 31 October 2027. “Transport is a critical part of our Government’s plan ...4 days ago
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Associate Health Minister David Seymour is welcoming Pharmac’s funding of oestradiol gel, following global shortages of oestradiol patches earlier this year. “I’m well aware of the stress caused by the global shortage earlier this year. At the time I said I was confident Pharmac was working hard to find a ...4 days ago
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Applications have now opened for tertiary education organisations to seek Government funding to develop New Zealand’s first postgraduate diploma programme for associate psychologists, Minister for Mental Health Matt Doocey announced today. “Investment in this new training pathway supports the Government’s target to grow our mental health and addiction workforce and ...4 days ago
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Associate Health Minister with responsibility for Pharmac David Seymour is pleased to see further increased availability of medicines for Kiwis following the Government’s increased investment in Pharmac. “Pharmac operates independently, but it must work within the budget constraints set by the Government,” says Mr Seymour. “When this Government assumed office, ...4 days ago
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New Zealand and the six-nation Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC) have concluded negotiations on a trade agreement that will open up significant opportunities for New Zealand exporters in the Gulf region, Minister for Trade and Agriculture Todd McClay announced from Doha today. Today’s announcement follows significant reengagement with the GCC following meetings ...5 days ago
- Government seeks views on remote court attendance
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He toi whakairo, he mana tangata. The reappointment of one trustee and the appointment of four new trustees to the Te Māori Manaaki Taonga Trust Board will enable the legacy of Te Māori to be carried forward into the future, Māori Development Minister Tama Potaka and Arts Minister Paul Goldsmith ...5 days ago
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Up to 300 affordable, healthy, community-tailored homes helping to support home ownership are set to be built in eastern Porirua, supported by Government funding for Our Whare Our Fale through the Building Homes for Pacific in Porirua initiative, Minister for Pacific Peoples Dr Shane Reti and Associate Housing Minister Tama ...5 days ago
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Trade Minister Todd McClay will hold trade discussions with Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC) trade ministers in Doha this week. Minister McClay will meet with all six GCC Trade Ministers, as well as the GCC Secretary General. “This will be my seventh visit to the region this year including two Ministerial ...6 days ago
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Health Minister Dr Shane Reti and Associate Minister David Seymour say it’s great news that podiatrists will soon be able to prescribe medicines, meaning patients with painful foot and leg conditions don’t have to make a separate trip to the doctor. “This simple step means a big change for people ...6 days ago
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Associate Education Minister David Seymour says that the Education Review Office’s (ERO) timely report on chronic school absence released today is further evidence of a truancy crisis. “Chronic absence has doubled since 2015. This report reinforces that action is needed to ensure this generation reaches its full potential,” says Associate ...6 days ago
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State Highway 1 through the Mangamuka Gorge will be open for Christmas, with critical work currently underway to clear the large slips and dropouts that have caused significant disruption for Northlanders trying to get where they want to go quickly and safely, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. “The Mangamuka Gorge ...7 days ago
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Dr Alan Bollard CNZM and Mr Bharat Guha have been appointed to the Tertiary Education Commission (TEC) board, Tertiary Education and Skills Minister Penny Simmonds says. “I would like to welcome the two new members joining the TEC board,” Ms Simmonds says. “Dr Alan Bollard CNZM is an experienced public ...7 days ago
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Fast tracking applications for registration by eligible specialist doctors wanting to practice in New Zealand is in line with the Government’s push to improve the health outcomes for New Zealanders, Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says. This fast-track pathway applies to specialists trained in anaesthesia, dermatology, emergency medicine, general practice, ...7 days ago
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Tēnā koutou Nau mai haere mai ki tenei hui Thank you to Vice Chancellor Williams, and the University of Western Sydney, for inviting me to speak today. I speak to you today in my capacity as Attorney-General – the New Zealand Crown’s Senior Law Officer. In this capacity, I serve ...7 days ago
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Minister responsible for the security and intelligence agencies Judith Collins has welcomed new guidance that aims to protect New Zealand’s start-up and emerging technology sector from the threat of economic espionage. “We are a nation well-known for our ingenuity, and our willingness to openly collaborate in the spirit of enterprise ...1 week ago
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The Government has approved $23.1 million for four critical frontline volunteer service organisations to replace storm-damaged assets and provide training and equipment to improve New Zealand’s response to future emergency events, Transport Minister Simeon Brown and Associate Transport Minister Matt Doocey says. $14.6 million for Surf Life Saving New ...1 week ago
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Resources Minister Shane Jones will speak at Australia's largest annual mining event in Sydney this week to mark New Zealand’s return to the international industry stage. Mr Jones will attend the International Mining and Resources Conference (IMARC) where he will update the sector’s most influential players on the work the ...1 week ago
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New Zealand will contribute $20 million to the Pacific Resilience Facility, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and Deputy Prime Minister Winston Peters have announced. “The Pacific Islands region faces severe challenges from natural disasters and climate change impacts and New Zealand is committed to doing its part to help meet them,” ...1 week ago
- Police to increase presence on Auckland public transport
Aucklanders will see a greater Police presence on public transport services to boost safety and reassure public transport workers and passengers, Police Minister Mark Mitchell and Transport and Auckland Minister Simeon Brown say. “Minister Brown and I are working together, alongside Police and Auckland Transport in response to the horrific ...1 week ago
- Government funds helicopter replacements
The Government is investing in eight new emergency helicopters to replace some of New Zealand’s ageing air ambulance fleet, Associate Health Minister Casey Costello and ACC Minister Matt Doocey announced today. “Our air ambulance helicopters play a vital role in saving lives around New Zealand,” Casey Costello says. “This is ...2 weeks ago
- China and New Zealand strengthen organic trade
An uplift to New Zealand’s organic product trade is expected through a new upgraded arrangement with China, Food Safety Minister Andrew Hoggard says.“The upgraded Mutual Recognition Arrangement (MRA) for organic products will deliver opportunities for our organic export sector.”The upgraded MRA was signed in Central Otago today by Andrew Hoggard ...2 weeks ago
- Judicial appointments announced
Attorney-General Judith Collins today announced two Court of Appeal and two High Court appointments. The four appointments will take effect on 21 November 2024 and are: Justice Christine French Justice French, who has been appointed President of the Court of Appeal, graduated with an LLB (Honours) from the University of Otago ...2 weeks ago
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Conservation Minister Tama Potaka joined tangata whenua from Ngāi Tahu and local community members today to celebrate the opening of New Zealand’s eleventh Great Walk – the Tuatapere Hump Ridge Track. “The 60km upgraded track provides the opportunity to do one of New Zealand’s world-class multi-day walks, and will bring ...2 weeks ago
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The Honourable Denis Clifford has been appointed Chief Commissioner of the Criminal Cases Review Commission, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. Hon Clifford brings a wealth of expertise and experience that will prove invaluable to the Commission. “He has served as a judge at both the Court of Appeal and High ...2 weeks ago
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While you might be reluctant to buy travel insurance, you’ll be glad to have it when things go wrong. As a natural catastrophiser, I spend a lot of time thinking about things that could go wrong – even on holiday. Perhaps I’ll be caught up in a life-threatening multi-car pileup ...48 mins ago - My Greatest Trip: Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam and Laos
A white woman’s account of backpacking through southeast Asia? Groundbreaking. In a post-social media world, I find it impossible to regale you with my trip through Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam and Laos without first doing some throat-clearing. “Doing” southeast Asia “on a shoestring” has become such a traveller’s cliche – so ...49 mins ago
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Twelve associations are calling for recreational activities to be formally excluded from the Health and Safety Act 2015. ...2 hours ago - The cost of being: A uni tutor who spends on vapes, samosas and the odd night out
As part of our series exploring how New Zealanders live and our relationship with money, a 21-year-old flatting in Wellington explains how she gets by. Want to be part of The Cost of Being? Fill out the questionnaire here. Gender: Wahine. Age: 21. Ethnicity: Māori. Role: Tutor at Victoria University. Salary/income/assets: ...2 hours ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Roger Dargaville, Director Monash Energy Institute, Monash University Shutterstock Both major parties in Australia see a significant role for gas as the world shifts to clean energy in a bid to avert dangerous climate change. The Albanese government says new sources ...2 hours ago - Live: Luxon ‘frustrated’ with officials but ‘confident’ in Cabinet conflict ...
The Prime Minister Christopher Luxon says he's confident about Cabinet's own conflict of interest processes ...3 hours ago
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The PM says he’ll work with whoever wins the White House, but the trade minister has previously expressed concern over higher tariffs, writes Stewart Sowman-Lund for The Bulletin. To receive The Bulletin in full each weekday, sign up here. ...4 hours ago
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Prime Minister Christopher Luxon will talk to Morning Report live. ...4 hours ago
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Scientists are becoming increasingly worried about delays to a critical report that could see an overhaul of the country's science infrastructure and funding. ...5 hours ago
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Patients want National to take note of a report on blood cancer medicines and remember its pre-election promise that they would not be forgotten. ...5 hours ago
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And everything else you need to know about timings, where and what to watch in our user’s guide to the Trump v Harris big day(s). One ancient candidate ejected after a catastrophic debate performance, another shot in the head in a horrific, failed assassination attempt. Racism, misogyny, plausible claims of ...6 hours ago
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Trains, bikes and sailboats already exist, and choosing to travel more slowly can be a pleasure, too. “I’ve seen more on my bike that I would have seen in my whole lifetime, if I’d been flying,” says Robbie Webb. He’s calling me from Ghent, where he’s staying with friends, nearly ...6 hours ago
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The building consent regime is about to be streamlined by the government, with self-certifications replacing some council inspections.It means councils will be partly removed from the building consent process, allowing qualified tradespeople – including plumbers and builders – to forego inspections for low-risk builds.Self-certifications will be open to those with ...6 hours ago
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Opinion: New Zealand had the fastest boat on the water at the recent America’s Cup. But the country’s largest city Auckland does not have such comparable speed in the international cities’ race.The World Economic Forum says cities are critical for developing competitive, innovation-driven economies, particularly those with strong infrastructure, vibrant ...6 hours ago
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Loading…(function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){var ql=document.querySelectorAll('A,DIV,A[data-quiz],DIV[data-quiz]'); if(ql){if(ql.length){for(var k=0;k<ql.length;k++){ql[k].id='quiz-embed-'+k;ql[k].href="javascript:var i=document.getElementById('quiz-embed-"+k+"');try{qz.startQuiz(i)}catch(e){i.start=1;i.style.cursor='wait';i.style.opacity='0.5'};void(0);"}}};i['QP']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){(i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o),m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m)})(window,document,'script','https://take.quiz-maker.com/3012/CDN/quiz-embed-v1.js','qp');Got a good quiz question? Send Newsroom your questions.The post Newsroom daily quiz, Tuesday 5 November appeared first on Newsroom. ...6 hours ago
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The post Daily crossword, Tuesday 5 November appeared first on Newsroom. ...6 hours ago
- Paul Goldsmith buys a book in Queenstown
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A change in direction from the central bank has corporates coming out of hibernation and gaining confidence to shift gears into expansion mode.With inflation inside its target band, earlier this month the Reserve Bank cut the official cash rate by 50 basis points to 4.75 percent.This larger than usual interest ...6 hours ago
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“They’re both wrong,” the 80-year-old Arizonan says.But Kamala Harris will probably win because she’s been strong on a woman’s right to access abortions, she says.The mother, who doesn’t want to be identified “because I’ll probably be too honest”, believes Harris is bad for the economy, for job creation, for businesses, ...6 hours ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Jan Kreibich, PhD Candidate, Centre for Ecosystem Science & Water Research Laboratory, UNSW Sydney Annette Ruzicka The largest wetland on Australia’s second longest river, the Murrumbidgee in the southern Murray-Darling Basin, is drying up. This is bad news for the plants, ...18 hours ago
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“Sour grapes”
i have tasted the fruit of our brighter future . .
.
♪ ♫ . . . Nobody loves me
Everybody hates me
Going to the garden to eat worms
Long thin slimy ones
Short fat juicy ones
Gooey, gooey, gooey, gooey, worms . . . ♫ ♪
Urgh… was that you, Gerry?
“Hard hat and orange vest or not, I’m still a mean SOB.”
mmmm….wrecking ball ..mmmmm.
“I know Crosby-Textor keep telling me I need to get rid of this horrible guilty look but I can’t help it because everywhere I go I keep thinking people can see right through me. It’s really weird.”
My government has started to rot
So I will take it outside with a League Table spade
And finally bury it
Who said “Your remaining coalition option is Winston Peters?”
“Please believe me – I am not morphing into Jim Bolger”
+1
But I’d say, Muldoon not Bolger.
more likely GWB .
shit…they’re beginning to catch onto my ‘rebuilding’ rhetoric…I could do with another quake
Jeez I’m over this job but that damm Boag woman has all those tapes.
Ech – this mutt John Banks is still humping my leg.
“Piss off peasants! I am Untouchable!”
“Winston recommended this new skin care range… I’m not sure.”
Maybe my shit does stink !!
“I’ll be positive until the day they drag me out.”
NZ Listener June 23 – 29 2012 Issue 3763 Cover Story – PM Under Pressure
are there wage earners in the area???
“I rule”
“I hope my toupee doesn’t stick to this hardhat.”
Brownlee went to Christchurch and all I got was this lousy fluoro vest.
7% of kiwis will get to invest in power companies they already own.
The question you’ve gotta ask yourself is: do I feel lucky?”
Well do ya, punk?
They gave me a blue hard-hat but how come my right ear is turning red; Help! Labour have put a curse on me.
Witnessing the “smiling assassin” turn into the “unhappy fugitive”….priceless, and bloody expensive.
I’ve met the Queen and her lot a couple of times now, I think it’s time I adopt the condescending scowl too, I’m practically a royal you know!
Hmmm … Parata … Collins ….Hmm … Bronagh …Hmmm … Jelly … Hmmmm
If I squint enough they all look like the little people I conned everyone into thinking I will look after.
‘heavy sigh’ when’s my next hawaii appointment.
Kin feel my rug sling. We need nutha rubber wool cup.
WhaleSpew taught me how to look tough.
No Xmas for John Key.
apologies to M.E.S
PS – it occurs to me that there is an anti-Semitic interpretation of this caption. Fuck racism.
Ha! Bet that’s got a few folk puzzled, KTH.
“is it just me ,or did someone take a dump in this hard hat ?”
fuck off noddy
“Mend your speech a little,
Lest you may mar your fortunes.” WS
“Ingratitude, thou marble-hearted fiend,
More hideous, when thou show’st thee in a child
Than the sea-monster!” WS again. King Lear is full of captions for this photo.
So how’s that third term looking, John?
Hmm, is that coal over there?
I better not get to close.
Yeah I know my neolib drug habit has destroyed my looks, but once I’ve sold NZ off to my mates and I need a new identity I’ll get some work done by a surgeon in Los Angeles.
I got Warners that deal – I audition for leading Orc – I find out they have fucked off to Aussie!
The defendant in the theft of NZ court case attempts to appear remorseful.
The penny drops with Key that Brownlee is no good at woodwork either, he then decides to sack all technology teachers as revenge.
Parata called me a rockstar, so I started doing drugs, now I look like Keith Richards. (sorry Keith)
It’s not fair! I wanted to be the man that sold the world, not just a few small islands.
I’ll need more that this hard hat when the plebs (is that what I can smell?) wake up to what I am up to with their assets and country.
pooh… is that socialism?
‘Well i’m nearly finished f—-n nz thats what my bosses told me to do at imf and goldman sachs,meryll lynch,bankers trust,it didnt quite work in the 80’s,i got a phone call,now i cant
believe i have got such a great free ride and so much power i feel drunk.
Who are you?
Reply
“The devil”
I’m making cuts too, see I have sold my smile and wave.
John finds that after a bite of asset sales they have lost their savour.
Cheer up Johnny, that face isn’t anything that a good surgeon and few of your millions can’t fix.
Your mention of a few millions, M, called to mind the Woody Guthrie song.
“I don’t want your millions, Mister,
I don’t want your diamond ring.
All I want is the right to live, Mister,
Give me back my job again.
Now, I don’t want your Rolls-Royce, Mister,
I don’t want your *Rolex watch.
All I want’s just food for my babies,
Give me back that job I got.
We worked to build this country, Mister,
While you enjoyed a life of ease.
You’ve stolen all that we built, Mister,
Now our hungry children they starve and freeze.
Think me dumb if you wish, Mister,
Call me green, or blue, or red.
This one thing I sure know, Mister,
My hungry babies must be fed.”
* my change to lyrics here.
🙂
I can’t wait to get back to Hawaihi, away from this bunch of assholes, and that is my lot too, not to mention the great unwashed…
What stink ? My shit doesn’t stink…….
I am one mean son of a bitch. I am “The King of the Hostile Takeover”
So – If you are worker then you are there to keep the country working and other than that I don’t give a rats arse about you!
” I know nussink…”
Bloody Proles !
Oh dear, he’s Lord Percy.
JK: After literally an hour’s ceaseless searching, I have succeeded in creating gold, pure gold.
Lord Ashcroft: Are you sure?
JK: Yes, my lord. Behold.
Lord Ashcroft: John… it’s green.
JK: That’s right, my lord.
Lord Ashcroft: Yes, John, I don’t want to be pedantic or anything, but the colour of gold is gold. That’s why it’s called gold. What you have discovered, if it has a name, is ‘green’.
JK: Oh, Lord Ashcroft, can it be true, that I hold here in my mortal hand a nugget of purest green?
Lord Ashcroft: Indeed you do, John, except, of course, it’s not really a nugget, it’s more of a splat.
JK: Well, yes, a splat today… but tomorrow — who knows, or dares to dream?
my soul shines through my face
I have no answers to your questions, I wasn’t ready, Hangon …
Behold my serious Face 🙁
Ha! This is how to look tough Shearer.Hard hat,check,hi vis jacket,check.The b—–s wouldn’t give me my own clipboard, something to do with commercial sensitivity.Now, where’s my ukelele. All together now, Way Down upon the Swanee River.
Phoar, something stinks. OH, it’s me!
No, I never heard of the name Dot.com.. got a problem with that?