Great political quotes of history – the Key version

28 comments on “Great political quotes of history – the Key version ”

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1. NZJester 1

   11 November 2015 at 2:50 pm

   (Pharaoh, let my people go!
   – Moses

   “Pharaoh, you know what, don’t worry about it.”)

   With John Keys record on labour issues I think that should read.

   “Pharaoh how can I change the rules to better suit your needs.”
2. Unicus 2

   11 November 2015 at 3:40 pm

   How about the Standard running a weekly Key howler contest

   headed perhaps –

   ” LESTALKEY “
3. rhinocrates 3

   11 November 2015 at 4:04 pm

   JFK “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.”

   Key: “How much can I get for ‘my’ country?”
   • Draco T Bastard 3.1

     11 November 2015 at 4:10 pm

     😆
   • NZJester 3.2

     11 November 2015 at 8:29 pm

     I would go more for;
     Ask not what you can do for your country, but what your country can do for you.
4. NZSage 4

   11 November 2015 at 4:23 pm

   Napoleon Bonaparte: “In politics stupidity is not a handicap.”

   Key: “What he just said”
5. Murray Simmonds 5

   11 November 2015 at 5:08 pm

   “I came, I saw, I conquered.”

   Well akshully, it was all Labpur’s fault.
6. Hanswurst 6

   11 November 2015 at 5:46 pm

   “Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.”

   – Abraham Lincoln

   “Thirty-four years ago or so… erm… I can’t remember, really. I think I was too busy courting Bronagh.”

   – John Key
7. Red Blooded 7

   11 November 2015 at 6:00 pm

   President Clinton : I did not have sexual relations with that woman.

   Key : I did not have txtual relations with Cameron Slater
   • Incognito 7.1

     11 November 2015 at 9:59 pm

     “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
     – Mahatma Gandhi

     “Look, I cannot recall what hat I was wearing when I texted Cam.”
     – John Key
     • Tricledrown 7.1.1

       12 November 2015 at 2:07 pm

       He was in the shower incognito.
8. Stuart Munro 8

   11 November 2015 at 9:26 pm

   I have here in my hands 6000 pieces of paper… free trade in our time!
9. Stuart Munro 9

   11 November 2015 at 9:30 pm

   It is more important for a ruler to be feared than loved – which is why I defunded rape crisis…
10. Grindlebottom 10

    11 November 2015 at 9:37 pm

    Harry S Truman: The buck stops here.

    Key: Yeah, but I clipped it on the way through.
    • Tricledrown 10.1

      12 November 2015 at 2:09 pm

      The buck stops in my Swiss bank account.
11. Grindlebottom 11

    11 November 2015 at 9:45 pm

    Florence Nightingale: I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took any excuse.

    Key: I attribute my success to this: I’ve always got plenty of excuses.
12. marty mars 12

    11 November 2015 at 9:50 pm

    “We knocked the bastard off” Hillary

    “I’m the off bastard knocking” key
13. North 13

    11 November 2015 at 9:53 pm

    Thomas Jefferson ……”When a man assumes a public trust, he should consider himself as public property.”

    The Ponce Key …… “Oh ‘Munter’ you Tom …… the sole value of public trust is to hasten the grabbing of public property …… for the secret trusts of me and mine !”

    “For I am a devilishly greedy wee former ABs captain thingy you see. And I am Fabulously Rich-ie. Which proves my point-ie”….. (giggles effetely …… Hosking swooning).
14. Grindlebottom 14

    11 November 2015 at 9:55 pm

    Booker T Washington: If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.

    Key: Bugger off Gerry.
15. Grindlebottom 15

    11 November 2015 at 10:12 pm

    Groucho Marx – Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

    Key – Politics is the art of looking for opportunities, finding them everywhere, packaging them cunningly, and selling them off to the highest bidder.
16. Egor the wonder dog 16

    11 November 2015 at 10:28 pm

    According to the New Testament, Mary, also known as St Mary the Virgin, the Blessed Virgin Mary, Saint Mary, Mary the Mother of God, or the Virgin Mary—amongst other titles …Wikipedia

    K – Virgin? yeah right.
17. Mike the Savage One 17

    12 November 2015 at 12:03 am

    “Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Fuehrer” must be John Key’s most popular historic quote, I guess.
18. Potato 18

    12 November 2015 at 10:58 am

    JK- Blessed are the rich, for they shall inherit the earth

    JK- Well I visit a lot of places and cant remember if I’ve been to The Eye of the Needle but what I can say, is my government is doing everything it can to eliminate any red tape that is holding up building approval for The Kingdom of Heaven to widen its doorway.
19. Augustus 19

    12 November 2015 at 1:02 pm

    ‘It is better to lead from behind and to put others in front, especially when you celebrate victory when nice things occur. You take the front line when there is danger. Then people will appreciate your leadership.’

    Nelson Mandela

    “Let me sit there Richie! Can you answer that one, Steve?”
20. Potato 20

    12 November 2015 at 1:07 pm

    Truman – The buck stops here

    Key – Labour did it too
21. les 21

    12 November 2015 at 2:24 pm

    ‘Ich bin ein….Amerikaner’!
22. Mrs Brillo 22

    12 November 2015 at 2:41 pm

    Carl Sandburg: A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected.

    John Key: I don’t recall which hat I was wearing at the time. Or am currently wearing…but I’m relaxed about that.
23. whateva next? 23

    12 November 2015 at 7:43 pm

    “Someday, somehow, I am going to do something useful, something for people. They are, most of them, so helpless, so hurt and so unhappy.”
    Edith Cavell,
    or……Key’s version:
    “At the end of the day, I am not going to do anything for the vast majority of NZers. They are, most of them, so hopeless, so uninteresting, and so irrelevant”

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