Herald Bingo
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9:00 am, January 20th, 2016 - 40 comments
Categories: internet, Media, newspapers, social media lolz -
Tags: nz herald
(from the brilliance of Katie Ruscoe)
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- All I Ever Am
I lose all my life like thisReflecting time and memoriesAnd all for fear of what I'll findIf I just stop and empty out my mindOf all the ghosts and all the dreamsAll I hold to in beliefThat all I ever amIs somehow never quite all I am nowLyrics Robert Smith.Today’s ...1 hour ago - The Book of Evidence-based-evidence
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1 day ago - Our Thousand-Year Struggle Over Technology and Prosperity
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Day after day of David Seymour being accorded media time and attention like he’s doing this stuff in good faith and advancing these ideas in earnest. Come on. He’s a cosplaying libertarian who is really just a glove puppet for anti-democratic capitalist pigs. Read more ...3 days ago - A collapse in police legitimacy
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...
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Today, news broke that Jeff Bezos, the American billionaire with a net worth of $206 B (NZ $344B), personally vetoed Washington Post’s Editorial Team from endorsing Kamala Harris.That stops the decades-old tradition of the Wapo for endorsing Presidential candidates. And editors have resigned - that includes Editor at large Robert ...1 week ago - Let’s Talk About… Anything.
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... 
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The Green Party is urgently calling on the Government to ban bottom trawling, following news a New Zealand bottom trawler caught 37kg of coral in international waters, prompting the suspension of all fishing in the area until 2026. ...2 days ago - Mark Patterson: Farmers understand we have their backs
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The National Government should review its support for Gumboot Friday after unacceptable comments by its leader and champion Mike King. ...3 days ago - Louise Upston cherry-picks data to punch down on the poor
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- Release: Labour backs Christchurch City Council sanctions on Israel
Labour is backing Christchurch City Council’s decision not to do business with firms involved in Israel’s illegal settlements in the Occupied Territories. ...1 week ago
- Release: Government driving away offshore wind industry
The Government has created a hostile environment for companies seeking to build offshore wind farms. ...1 week ago
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Te Pāti Māori is enraged at the National government’s ruthless punishment of beneficiaries, all while jobs are disappearing. MSD data shows a 133% increase in sanctions over the past year, with over 14,000 sanctions in just three months. The kicker? The jobs this government insists people should find are nowhere ...2 weeks ago
- Police Perpetuate Siege on Ōpōtiki
Te Pāti Māori MP for Waiariki, Rawiri Waititi, says today’s police-sponsored terrorism in Ōpōtiki is a continuation of the State’s predatory behaviour towards the iwi of Te Whakatōhea. "Ōpōtiki is once again being intentionally targeted and is the direct byproduct of this Government’s 'tough on crime' legislative changes,” said MP ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Govt cuts school lunches even further
The Government has gone back on its word and cut the full school lunch programme in primary schools after saying it wouldn’t. ...2 weeks ago
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The Green Party is calling for Youth Justice Residences to close, following a protest in which a group of young people spent the night on the roof of an Oranga Tamariki justice facility. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Appalling process on three strikes law
The Government is subverting parliamentary process on laws the evidence already shows don’t work. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Labour calls for investigation into tobacco tax cut
The Government’s decision to award a $216 million tax break for Philip Morris’ heated tobacco products reeks of tobacco industry interference and needs to be thoroughly investigated. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Delay to retirement village review won’t help residents
The National Government is treading water on a much-needed review of the Retirement Villages Act, kicking any amendments down the road till the next parliamentary term in 2027. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Serious concerns ignored in Govt’s fast track bill
National’s fast track bill enables the most radical and unbalanced consenting regime in living memory. ...2 weeks ago
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Despite resounding public opposition, the fast-track legislation is being pushed through Parliament with provisions that could have real consequences for people and planet. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Labour supports continuing fight for dairy access
Labour welcomes the National Government’s decision to further pursue our access to the Canadian dairy market under the Comprehensive and Progressive Agreement for Trans-Pacific Partnership (CPTPP) ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Job losses devastating for Timaru
Confirmed news that the Smithfield meatworks will close is devastating for the hundreds of people who work there, Timaru and the wider region. ...2 weeks ago
- New Zealand First Member’s Bill to Improve Access to Palliative Care
New Zealand First has introduced a Member’s Bill which aims to improve access to palliative care for all New Zealanders, ensuring kiwis have better access to the compassionate palliative support they may need. The ‘Improving Access to Palliative Care Bill’ seeks to guarantee that every New Zealander has the right ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Further uncertainty for Kiwirail as jobs set to go
KiwiRail offering voluntary redundancy to all its staff is hugely concerning given the future of New Zealand’s rail system is under threat. ...2 weeks ago
- ASA Declares Hobson’s Pledge Advertising Misleading and Socially Irresponsible
Te Pāti Māori Co-leaders Rawiri Waititi and Debbie Ngarewa-Packer welcome today’s ruling from the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA), which found that a Hobson's Pledge advertisement regarding customary marine titles was misleading and socially irresponsible. The two-page wraparound ad, published in The New Zealand Herald, suggested that nearly the entire coastline ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Benefit numbers continue to soar under National
National’s all pain approach to beneficiaries has yielded no gain as benefit numbers continue to surge past projected figures. ...2 weeks ago
- Casey Costello: What Once Was…
Entering politics is a privilege afforded to very few and, as the saying goes, with great power comes great responsibility. Being an MP is a call to service. Whatever your politics you have a duty to show up. Whatever your party's policy, you have made a promise to those who ...2 weeks ago
- Soaring benefit sanctions push more into poverty
Sanctions on beneficiaries have sky-rocketed since the Coalition Government came to power, pushing more families into poverty. ...2 weeks ago
- International Energy Agency issues wake-up call on climate action
Today’s report from the International Energy Agency highlights how far this Government’s actions are dragging us backwards in the fight against climate change. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Lack of funding puts pressure on frontline Police
News that 173 roles are being cut at Police will only put more pressure on the frontline. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Bipartisan agreement on outdated marriage law
Changes to outdated relationships legislation has passed its third reading giving family violence survivors the power to quickly dissolve abusive marriages. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Cuts to Apprenticeship Boost will fail future NZ
The Government’s cuts to the Apprenticeship Boost programme will leave New Zealand without the workforce it needs to build homes, schools and hospitals. ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Sluggish economy means struggles ahead for Kiwis
While today’s inflation numbers are good news for Kiwis, there are still struggles ahead with rising rents, rates, insurance and high unemployment. ...3 weeks ago
- CPI figures show rents continuing to soar
Stats NZ has confirmed that higher rent prices were the biggest contributor to the annual inflation rate. Almost a fifth of the 2.2 per cent annual increase in the CPI was due to rent prices. ...3 weeks ago
- New Charter to guarantee better access for hunting and fishing
Minister for Hunting and Fishing Todd McClay has today launched an Access Charter (the Charter) to ensure better access for recreational hunting and fishing on public conservation land (PCL) across New Zealand. “This Charter establishes guiding principles for the Department of Conservation (DOC) to provide clear and transparent decisions on ...23 hours ago - Pou Whenua blessing honours Tongariro
A beautiful new Pou Whenua at the beginning of the Tongariro Alpine Crossing will introduce visitors to the sacred landscape they are entering, says Conservation Minister Tama Potaka. Mr Potaka attended a blessing for the specially carved Pou Whenua at Mangatepopo, at the start of the track on 1 November. ...2 days ago
- New members appointed to the NZTA Board
Transport Minister Simeon Brown has today announced two new appointments to the New Zealand Transport Agency (NZTA) Board. Mary-Anne Macleod and Mike Rudge have both been appointed as members for three-year terms commencing 1 November 2024 and ending 31 October 2027. “Transport is a critical part of our Government’s plan ...2 days ago
- Welcome relief from new oestradiol gel funding
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- Deputy Prime Minister visit to Australia
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- Applications now open for new training pathway
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- Increased medicines access continues following budget boost
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- New Zealand concludes high quality trade deal with the Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC)
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- Government seeks views on remote court attendance
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- Te Māori Manaaki Taonga Trust Board strengthened
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- Affordable housing project supporting home ownership
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- Trade Minister travels to Doha for GCC trade discussions
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- Trusted building professionals able to self-certify
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- New appointments to the TEC board
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- Move to fast-track overseas doctors welcomed
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Tēnā koutou Nau mai haere mai ki tenei hui Thank you to Vice Chancellor Williams, and the University of Western Sydney, for inviting me to speak today. I speak to you today in my capacity as Attorney-General – the New Zealand Crown’s Senior Law Officer. In this capacity, I serve ...5 days ago
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- NZ investing in Pacific disaster preparedness & climate resilience
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- New Chief Criminal Cases Review Commissioner
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- Changes to improve building fire safety
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- Germany and New Zealand partner to support agriculture and tackle global emissions
New Zealand and Germany have announced the official start of a partnership aimed at supporting the agriculture sector and tackle global agricultural greenhouse gas emissions Agriculture Minister Todd McClay announced today. “The partnership, called the Alliance for the Climate – Dialogue on Climate and Agriculture between New Zealand and Germany (Agri-DENZ project), ...1 week ago
- New members appointed to the Waitangi Tribunal
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- US election: Latinos hit back by showing up
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The server will be getting hardware changes this evening starting at 10pm NZDT.
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Genius.
Left out, something about Ronda Rousey, cause there’s nothing cooler than a good looking babe who can break bones.
The herald is no longer a source of information, it’s now purely a vehicle to sell advertising.
you forgot about apologist nat cheerleading as the other main reason
There’s a news report out this morning about the Mad Butcher. Seems he fell over and hurt his arm. He’s got a bandage on it.
OMG!!! Not my old mate the mad butcher! I hope we get updates on this very important story every hour at least!!!!
Brilliant.
There is usually a crime story.
Or 10.
Yep. Quite a lot of crime stories. The “beneficiary/state house tenant does dumb/criminal thing” story is also missing from the card. Perhaps they all fit in the “personal responsibility” square.
Love it! Should do one a week. Just waiting for Trevvy to write her next instalment of her passionate devotion to Joooohhhnnn, swoooonn!! Also waiting for review/critique on John Campell’s new ground breaking radio podcast. Or did I miss it?? Oh! I wonder if Johnny will get an invitation to RichGem’s wedding of the decade. Decade according to some bin 13 material.
Left out the square containing: Regular sports column by unreconstructed misogynist convicted of injury with reckless disregard in 2009 for kicking the shit out of his partner breaking her back in two places
speaking of which…remind me to let whoever might giveashit know that if I have to endure one more videoad featuring said misogynistic apology for a human being I am going do something really really out of character.
But…the post is brilliant.
You forgot the article about new parents who didn’t realise how hard it be
PR sarky
New parents never realise how hard before the first one, and never remember how hard when having any others. But some never have any – having observed the trauma that others go through.
Glad someone noticed and featured that. Good old Herald so reliably risible. It could do well as NZ leading tabloid. I wondered if it could match the USA National Enquirer, a well known grubby rag with an extensive backstory of its own?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Enquirer
In 1926, William Griffin, a protégé of William Randolph Hearst, founded the paper as The New York Evening Enquirer, a Sunday afternoon broadsheet newspaper distributed throughout New York City, using money lent to Griffin by Hearst…. During the 1930s and 1940s, it became a voice for isolationism and pro-fascist propaganda. The paper was indicted along with Griffin under the Smith Act for sedition by a grand jury in 1942 for subverting the morale of US troops via to Griffin’s editorials against US military involvement in World War II. The charges were later dropped.
also https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tabloid_journalism
edited
“National spin piece ridicules Andrew Little.” Written by Steven Joyce under a Roughan byline. (Is this a form of prostitution?)
I have not tuned into the herald for a while but you forgot the TV3 ‘advertorial’ and Sky City conference mention (with pic of SkyCity to get those gamblers salivating), the in appropriation of some iwi money (always headline), or a waste of money as some council has put in some art somewhere in the region and people are up in arms (with survey) or sports star in court over rape/assault and how badly Labour are doing with ‘advice’ on what they need to do to win next election and how great Key is but within an article supporting the opinion pieces saying how great he is.
Also:
Paddy Gower, Mike Hosking and Paul Henry jointly awarded Paparazzi of the Year for turning every news story into a promo for John Key.
“all young couples can afford a house in Auckland, they just need to cut back on lattes, put off buying that new BMW, avoid babies or accidents and one less oversea trip a year, just like we did”
says young professional couple both on modest 6 figure incomes relying on parents capital to underwrite mortgage, both incidentally real-estate agents.
Grim
Where was that? It’s priceless, I want to take a copy. Can you give a link, if you didn’t make it up.
Claiire Trevett should have two spaces for fan-ficcery of key, it is so obvious. (She is almost worse than Tracey Watkins!)
I am sure she would willingly offer her restyled ponytail hair to be pulled along with heather dp, who were the main apologists for key’s hideous behaviour in the herald at the time. Ugh. Even Audrey fan-fic of national Young had a pop at key over his harassment of the poor woman who had had her hair consistently pulled by key over a period of months!
Tell us where we can read more by Katie Ruscoe.
She seems worth the effort.
Gotta say I agree, Katie’s definitely worth the effort. Look her up on twitter:
https://twitter.com/thefakekatiemay
Really pleased Katie let us post this here at TS. We need to hear more from the young folk because their experiences are not going to make the pages of the Herald or the news bulletins of TVOne or TV3 . The sad fact is that the Herald is never going to reflect life as it is lived by the majority of kiwis. They’re all about selling us sedation, not information.
The square for a story on a Lorde-themed Tweet has already gone…
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/entertainment/news/article.cfm?c_id=1501119&objectid=11575959
And square for the cat story has gone too…
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/news/article.cfm?c_id=6&objectid=11576773
Also a commentary by a far righter posing as “Labour insider’ story by Josie Pagani, endorsing the Natz but in a NatLIte way.
“Content from Daily Mail” and “Content from Buzzfeed” should each be on the board about five times. That’s most of the Herald.
Piece framing supercity as lens fault.
Fact free, science missing opinion article on climate change being a non issue.
Max key item….whatever hes doing just stick him in there.
Pro minister piece countering recent events. If stuck pull smith/brownlee/collins file theres years of material there.
Vacuous piece about Richie/SBW/any tv talking head
KDC piece about his wealth, girth, broken marriage, suggested deportation.
Bingo!
Len Brown’s adviser charged with drink driving
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11576973
Shouldn’t there be a badly-written, morally repugnant, factually illiterate opinion piece published in the interests of balance?
Mike Hosking is still on holiday.
or Jamie Whyte.
Herald is the National Party Daily Tabloid Rag?
‘
Heh! Jonathon Pie nails it . . .
Just as an aside, I’m liking the NY Daily News more and more. Tomorrow’s front page is a doozy: Palin and Trump – I’m with Stupid.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/sarah-palin-officially-endorse-donald-trump-2016-bid-article-1.2502239
And then there’s this, which somes up everything I loathe about coke addled west coast rock stars in 500 words:
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/music/glenn-frey-death-sad-eagles-lousy-band-article-1.2501461
Its very sad. When I think back to how our local media led with stories of real interest and investigations into bueaocratic things that went wrong (sorry – can’t spell beaurocratic – tried 3 times ! ) …… and it used to take a long time to read the Herald and the Auckland Star (now long gone) and NOW it takes three seconds to flick through the Herald’s headlines to find something of real interest – this is really sad.
The dumbing down of a once-intelligent nation. Bugga them all !
Type it into google and it will show the correct spelling.
example
https://www.google.co.nz/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=bueaocratic
Gold.
“Man Gifted Deposit, Buys House” – Brilliant !
The Herald must have done some research into what its readers like to read.As surprising as it may seem to anyone with an IQ higher than their shoe size,this is as good as it gets😳
Fan fic or a Mary Sue style of slash fic?