ImperatorFish: John Key’s Reshuffle Analysed
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- Date published:
1:41 pm, January 23rd, 2013 - 7 comments
Categories: bill english, Gerry Brownlee, Hekia parata, humour, john key, national, Steven Joyce -
Tags: kate wilkinson, phil heatley, simon bridges
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.
Prime Minister John Key today announced a reshuffle of his Cabinet, as well as a number of changes in the organisation of some government ministries.
The changes will come into effect on 31 January.
The biggest winner is Dr Nick Smith. He returns to Cabinet after his fall from grace last year, and is appointed as Minister for Creating a Perception of Crisis in Order to Justify Savage Cutbacks in Entitlements.
Dr Smith’s interest in resource issues has also resulted in his appointment as Minister for Exploiting High Political Office for the Benefit of Friends.
Steven Joyce remains Minister for Economic Development, Minister of Science and Innovation, Minister for Tertiary Education, Skills and Employment, and Associate Minister of Finance. A new super-ministry is to be created to encompass these various portfolios, and will be called the Ministry of Squashing Ambition and Innovation at their Conception (MOSAIC).
The biggest losers are Kate Wilkinson and Phil Heatley, who have been dropped from Cabinet altogether. Both have failed to perform, and their inability to communicate with the smoothness of someone like Hekia Parata will have counted against them.
Parata retains the Education portfolio, but her ministry is to be renamed the Ministry for Focusing on Outlining the Context of the Wider Processes Representative of the Fact that Raising Student Achievement Requires the Development of Methodologies that Add to Learning Outcomes.
Gerry Brownlee is to lead a new Insulting Everyone He Meets Ministry, which will tie in with his existing role as Minister for Ruining Christchurch.
Simon Bridges gets a promotion after being a Minister outside Cabinet. He takes on the Ministry for High Self Regard. Chris Finlayson will be his Associate Minister, taking over from Tim Groser.
Bill English retains Financial Ruin, but loses the Some Hope for a Moderate Recovery Ministry. That Ministry is to be disestablished.
Paula Bennett was tipped to take Conservation, but her enthusiasm for leopard-skin would have made her a controversial choice. She instead retains the Pulling Up the Ladder Behind Her portfolio.
Murray McCully retains Foreign Affairs and Dark Arts, while Tim Groser keeps Being Clever and Knowing It.
John Key said his new Cabinet line-up was a strong one, and would bring a renewed energy to the task of doing very little to address the nation’s biggest problems.
He acknowledged that a number of MPs had been unlucky to miss out on Cabinet positions.
“I feel for the likes of Tau Henare, Melissa Lee, Maggie Barry, Katrina Shanks, John Hayes, and Kanwaljit Singh Bakshi.
“Any one of them would have made a superb Minister of Foot in Mouth. But Gerry’s doing such a fine job I just had to leave him there.”
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- Green Party calls for conscience vote on Treaty Principles Bill
The Green Party has written to the Speaker of the House requesting he enable a personal vote on the Treaty Principles Bill. ...2 weeks ago
- Govt move to exclude journalist risks chilling effect
The Green Party is alarmed by the Government’s move to exclude a journalist from covering this week’s apology for the survivors of abuse in state and faith-based care. ...2 weeks ago
- Without action, an apology will be empty air
For tomorrow’s apology to survivors of abuse in state and faith-based care to hold any water, the Government must not pursue the same policies that drove the abuse in the first place. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Concerns remain over tobacco interference
Concerns about the tobacco industry’s ability to interfere in government policy making remain, despite the inability of the Office of the Auditor-General to investigate the Government’s decision to halve the excise tax on heated tobacco products. ...2 weeks ago
- Urgent wake-up call on climate
The Climate Change Commission’s latest advice indicates Aotearoa needs to be stepping up on climate action. ...2 weeks ago
- Green MP’s Meme-ber’s Bill set to save the world
Break out the punchlines and dust off your meme folder: Green Party MP Kahurangi Carter’s Copyright (Parody and Satire) Amendment Bill was pulled from the Ballot yesterday. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Poroporoaki: Ta Robert (Bom) Gillies
Kua hinga te manawa kairākau o Te Rua Tekau Ma Waru Tiwhatiwha te po! Kakarauru i te po! Ka rapuhia kei hea koe kua riro! Haere e te Ika a Whiro ki o tini hoa kua ngaro atu ki te Pō ...2 weeks ago
- Labour, Greens and Te Pāti Māori call on the Prime Minister to block the Treaty Principles Bill
The opposition parties stand united for an Aotearoa that honours Te Tiriti, rather than seeking to rewrite it. Labour, the Greens and Te Pāti Māori are working together against the Government’s divisive Treaty Principles Bill. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Labour, Greens and Te Pāti Māori call on the Prime Minister to block the Treaty Principle...
The opposition parties stand united for an Aotearoa that honours Te Tiriti, rather than seeking to rewrite it. Labour, the Greens and Te Pāti Māori are working together against the Government’s divisive Treaty Principles Bill. ...2 weeks ago
- NZ must pursue independent foreign policy
The Green Party says the need is greater than ever for Aotearoa New Zealand to pursue an independent foreign policy. ...2 weeks ago
- Record number of submissions received on granny flat proposal
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Attorney-General Judith Collins today announced the appointment of Rebecca Guthrie as a District Court Judge. Judge Guthrie was admitted to the bar in 1997 following her graduation from the University of Canterbury in 1996 (LLB, BA). She commenced her legal career in Hastings in 1997 before moving to London in ...3 hours ago
- Appointments strengthen Predator Free 2050
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- New facility in Christchurch will improve the lives of young New Zealanders
Mental Health Minister Matt Doocey today opened Kahurangi, an innovative and much-needed facility for Canterbury’s Child, Adolescent, and Family Mental Health Services. “The new state of the art outpatient facility opened today will be a gamechanger for the way mental health is delivered for young people in Canterbury,” says Mr ...4 hours ago
- Driver safety screens to be installed on Auckland buses
Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed news from the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) that bus driver protection screens will be installed across Auckland’s bus fleet by 2026.“The Government is committed to improving the safety of working environments for bus drivers, and Budget 2024 allocated $15 million of Crown funding over ...5 hours ago
- Government action provides Southland farmers more time to meet plan requirements
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- Bill reaffirms Government’s commitment to crack down on serious youth offending
The Oranga Tamariki (Responding to Serious Youth Offending) Bill had its first reading at Parliament today. The Bill reaffirms the Government’s commitment to crack down on serious youth offending, Minister for Children Karen Chhour says. “In recent years we have seen an unacceptable spike in youth offending. “This Bill makes ...22 hours ago
- Critical milestones for earthquake buildings review
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- State of the art radiology machine for Auckland
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- Foreign Minister to visit Europe
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- First arrests made under gang patch ban
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- Better support for victims of sexual violence
The Government is proposing two major changes to name suppression laws that will put the views of victims of sexual violence first, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. “We are committed to restoring law and order and these two proposed changes will help ensure the victims of crime are put at ...1 day ago
- Government moving forward with Regional Deals
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- MSA pilot participant update
One of the ten young men selected to participate in the Military-Style Academy Pilot has allegedly reoffended. Children’s Minister Karen Chhour is disappointed but says it would be naïve to think that none of these young men would reoffend. “I’m saddened that this young person has not taken this opportunity ...1 day ago
- Fighting for Kiwis in Trade
Delivered at Auckland Trade and Economic Policy School Good morning and thank you Deputy Vice Chancellor Lithander for your warm welcome and for inviting me to open Auckland Trade and Economic Policy School today. A Special thanks to the University of Auckland, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade and ...1 day ago
- Attendance rates increase, again
Associate Education Minister David Seymour says that school attendance is continuing to rise. In Term 3 of 2024 51.3 per cent of students attended school regularly, an increase of 5.3 percentage points from 46 per cent in Term 3 of 2023. “This Government has prioritised student attendance and it is ...1 day ago
- Improving the lives of young New Zealanders
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- Government continues work to reinstate livestock exports by sea
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- Speech to the National Quality Forum 2024
Tēnā koutou katoa – it is a pleasure to be here today. I would like to begin by acknowledging the important leadership role you all play in ensuring a quality health system New Zealanders can trust. There is enormous clinical expertise in this room covering a wide range of disciplines. ...2 days ago
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Tēnā koutou katoa. Mr President, Excellencies, Delegates. New Zealand, and all nations represented here today, are already dealing with the impacts of climate change. Our households, businesses, and economies are bearing the costs of its effects. The choices we make now will shape the severity of these impacts for generations ...2 days ago
- Latest Quarterly Investment Report released
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- New Zealand supporting loss and damage fund
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- Gang crackdown begins at stroke of midnight
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- LGFA increases borrowing capacity to support high growth councils
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- Temporary Traffic Management costs revealed
The Government has revealed that over the past three years, the New Zealand Transport Agency (NZTA) has spent an eyewatering $786 million of taxpayers’ money on road cones and temporary traffic management (TTM), Transport Minister Simeon Brown says.“When I became Minister, I was surprised to learn that that NZTA did ...3 days ago
- Jurisdiction of Disputes Tribunal to double
Legislation that will double the financial jurisdiction of the Disputes Tribunal from $30,000 to $60,000 has passed first reading in Parliament today, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith. “We need to improve court timeliness and access to justice so that Kiwis and get on with their lives. Court delays affect everyone, the ...3 days ago
- Protecting New Zealand from foreign interference
Legislation that will specifically criminalise foreign interference and strengthen espionage offences has passed first reading in Parliament today, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. “It is normal and appropriate for states to interact and work to influence one another. This encourages cooperation and can have mutually beneficial outcomes. “However, the reality ...3 days ago
- Significant milestone for Canterbury Road of National Significance
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- Health survey results to help drive change
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- Final push needed to get to Smokefree 2025
A renewed effort to get people to quit smoking will build on what has worked to date and target the groups who most need support, Associate Health Minister Casey Costello said today. “The latest New Zealand Health Survey results show the daily smoking rate at 6.9 per cent and we ...3 days ago
- New diplomatic appointments
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- Next steps for Regulatory Standards Bill
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- Red Tape Tipline goes live
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- Youth Parliament 2025 announced
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- Police stats show promising change
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- Better coordination of anti-scam efforts
With the launch of Fraud Awareness Week, the Government is committing to new coordination efforts across industry and government to combat online scams, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly says. “Online financial scams are a growing problem for New Zealand. New data released today shows that Kiwis lost nearly ...4 days ago
- Minister to consider 7AA select committee report
Minister for Children Karen Chhour will consider the recommendations made by the Social Services and Community Committee in its report back to Parliament on the Oranga Tamariki (Repeal of Section 7AA) Amendment Bill. “I want to thank the people who made submissions and those who appeared before the committee in ...4 days ago
- Defence Minister to attend ASEAN meeting
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- Launching the White Ribbon Ride
The Minister for the Prevention of Family and Sexual Violence, Karen Chhour, was on hand to wish riders well at the start of the North Island leg of the White Ribbon Ride in Whakatāne this morning. The ride helps mark the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, ...5 days ago
- Construction to begin on next stage of Papakura to Drury
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- Gang chapter president’s patch seized in first 24 hours of ban
The first arrest was made just three minutes after midnight, with 11 more to come. ...1 hour ago - Government slammed for pushing on with boot camps amid trial
Labour has accused National of ignoring the evidence. ...2 hours ago
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- Gang patch ban: The first 24 hours
The first arrest was made just three minutes after midnight, with 11 more to come. ...3 hours ago
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The committee plans to hold hearings in the week starting Monday, 27 January and the weeks starting 10, 17 and 24 February 2025. ...3 hours ago
- Watch live: Christopher Luxon faces questions during power station visit
It comes as Labour accuses National of not listening to evidence about boot camps. ...3 hours ago
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DunnoKeyo burns off the Deadwood @ PlanetKey, to make room for more “Wet Saps” (Sic).
Amazing how satire can be read as reality.
FYI!
Happy New Year! 🙂
How come in the recent NZ Ministerial ‘reshuffle’, New Zealand Prime Minister John Key hasn’t (yet) stood down the Minister for Regulatory Reform and Small Business, Associate Minister of Commerce and Education – the arguably ‘not-so-Honorable’ John Banks, Act Leader and MP for Epsom?
John Banks has been summoned by Judge Moss to appear in the Wellington District Court on Monday 11 February 2013:
CRI . 1085501327
BETWEEN:
Graham Edward McCready, Informant V The Honourable John Archibald Banks, Defendant
Charges :
1 . Charge of “As a candidate in a local body election transmitted a return of electoral expenses knowingly that is was false in a material particular contrary to Section 134 (1) of the Local Electoral Act 2001”
REMEMBER THIS?
“I can tell you that when I signed my declaration for the mayoralty I signed it in good faith in the knowledge as a Justice of the Peace as true and correct. I have nothing to fear and nothing to hide and I welcome the inquiry and everything will come out in the wash,..”.
John Banks 29 April 2012
http://tvnz.co.nz/q-and-a-news/transcript-david-parker-john-banks-interview-4856871
Q+A: Transcript of David Parker and John Banks interview
Published: 3:38PM Sunday April 29, 2012 Source: Q+A
“JOHN
I think you think I came up the river on a cabbage boat. I can tell you that when I signed my declaration for the mayoralty I signed it in good faith in the knowledge as a Justice of the Peace as true and correct. I have nothing to fear and nothing to hide and I welcome the inquiry and everything will come out in the wash, Mr Holmes. I’m more invested in the real issues of investment growth and jobs and providing working opportunities for 80,000 of our kids that are out of school and out of luck.
PAUL
But are you saying – because it is illegal, you know, don’t you, that if you know where a donation came from, to claim it was anonymous. So is what Mr Dotcom is saying about – your eyes perked up, your eyes went big at the mention of 50 grand. And so the fella gets the chequebook out and you’re sitting there and he writes a cheque. I mean, are you saying that he’s lying? Because that’s what he’s saying.
JOHN
I don’t know why you’re going on about this. I have nothing to hide.
PAUL
Is he lying?
JOHN
It’s a media beat-up. Yesterday I was going to jail. Today I’m going to be cleared. I mean, that’s what the media get up to, and you’re beating it up again. Look, we’ve got an inquiry…
PAUL
Mr Banks.
JOHN
I’m very happy to have the inquiry. (CHUCKLES)…….”
Really?
Is John Banks ‘fit for duty’ as a JP – let alone a Minister of the Crown?
You may remember that former National Government Ministers, Richard Worth and Pansy Wong both left Parliament, (not just their former Ministerial positions) under a cloud, although neither faced proceedings in Court?
Is it because this MINORITY National Government – with only 59 out of 121 MPs is desperately reliant on the pivotal vote of ‘dodgy’ John Banks, that PM John Key is continuing his shonky defence of the arguably indefensible?
Given that Prime Minister John Key’s apparently shonky actions over the Sky City Convention ‘deal’ are under review by the Office of the Auditor-General, then perhaps the public shouldn’t expect too much in terms of ethical leadership at the highest levels of the NZ Government – despite NZ’s ‘perceived’ status as the (first equal) ‘least corrupt country in the world’?
http://www.transparency.org/cpi2012/results
Penny Bright
‘Anti-corruption campaigner’
http://www.dodgyjohnhasgone.com
Good on ya Penny. Don’t ever let up.
Agreed. Penny, you’re tireless. And I’m glad of that!
Ah yes, Banks set to get His just deserts in the District Court in February about the time that Maori will be in the Supreme Court arguing their water rights case,
The fun has just begun,
PS, there is only an appearance of there being little corruption among the elite in our society because there is really no Government watchdog specifically charged with sniffing it out,
Should the SIS and Government communications spy networks be given a real job and specifically charged with sniffing out such corruption a trail of heads at the top would continually roll…
These National genius’s dont let the grass grow under their feet – we’re pretty sure Brownlee has been moonlighting in the movies – wasnt that him playing the King of the Orks in The Hobbit – and what a marvellous splattering end the King came to – pure poetry !