In need of a good laugh

Written By: - Date published: 12:45 pm, April 8th, 2011 - 13 comments
Categories: bill english, Economy, humour - Tags:

As it is the end of the working week many people are likely in need of a good laugh. With the budget due out next month it’s worth reviewing the words of well known comedian and magician (able to make economic growth disappear before your eyes) Bill English.

Minister English cracked this opening joke during his 2010 delivery:

“the across-the-board personal income tax cuts more than offset the rise in GST. This is fair and leaves the vast majority of New Zealanders better off”

Following that opening gag, he went on to have the audience in stitches with this line:

“The Treasury is now forecasting real GDP growth of 3.2 per cent in the year to March 2011. The projections now show fairly steady growth at about 3 per cent over the next four years.”

Finally, Bill closed with this prediction that had people rolling in the aisles:

“The Budget shows an improved fiscal outlook over the forecast period, with both Crown debt and Budget deficits better than forecast in Budget 2009. We now expect the deficit to peak at just over 4 per cent of GDP next year.”

 

– George.com

13 comments on “In need of a good laugh ”

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  1. fizzleplug 1
    8 April 2011 at 1:00 pm

    It’s almost, but not quite as funny as the one I heard on Breakfast this week. Phil Goff was introduced as the Leader of the Opposition!

  2. Bunji 2
    8 April 2011 at 1:16 pm

    The joy of forecasts.  And now… we’ll make up some even better numbers!
     

  3. lprent 3
    8 April 2011 at 1:31 pm

    I like that – more Billshit from Dipshit

  4. The Economic Illiteracy Support Group 4
    8 April 2011 at 1:33 pm

    The chief problem with this government is that they’re systematically and deliberately destroying satire as an art-form, and intentionally undermining the irony sector. I mean, how can you parody this stuff?

  5. ianmac 5
    8 April 2011 at 2:00 pm

    But you have to give credit to Bill. He delivers all his wisdom with a straight face and great sincerity. It’s  almost as though he believes what he says. Huh!

  6. randal 6
    8 April 2011 at 2:08 pm

    its o0k for bill because he means of supplementing his income but for the average joe there has been a general price rise in foodstuffs that is rapidly approaching hyperinflation.

  7. Afewknowthetruth 7
    8 April 2011 at 2:35 pm

    Just a gentle reminder that the global economic system is slowly imploding.

    Dated Brent Spot
    123.17

  8. Kaplan 8
    8 April 2011 at 3:23 pm

    In the spirit of a good laugh.

    At the end of a long full life of, lets call it achievement, an old man, we’ll call him John, was lying on his death bed.  He is feeling grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to be able to take it with him to Heaven. He began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him.

    An angel hears his plea and appears to him. “Sorry John, but you can’t take your wealth with you.” John implores the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules. John continues to pray that his wealth could follow him.

    The angel reappears and informs John that God had decided to allow him to take one suit-case with him. Overjoyed, John gathers his largest suitcase and fills it with pure gold bars and places it beside his bed.

    Soon afterward John dies and shows up at the Gates of Heaven to greet St. Peter. Peter seeing the suitcase says, “Hold on, you can’t bring that in here!”. John explains to Peter that he has permission and asks him to verify his story with the Lord.

    Sure enough, Peter checks and comes back saying, “You’re right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I’m supposed to check its contents before letting it through.” Peter opens the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that John found too precious to leave behind and exclaims,

    “You brought pavement?!?”

  9. Sean 9
    8 April 2011 at 4:49 pm

    The media doesn’t actually compare past statements with present situations enough with Bill English.  In 2009, the end of 2010 was supposed to look good.

    The end of 2010, the end of 2011 is supposed to be good.

    So well done guest.

    • Draco T Bastard 9.1
      8 April 2011 at 6:32 pm

      Is the MSM even aware that the past existed? They certainly seem to only report on the now.

  10. Afewknowthetruth 10
    8 April 2011 at 5:09 pm

    The great thing about working for Treasury is that you can live in a world of complete fantasy and still keep your job.

  11. deservingpoor 11
    9 April 2011 at 8:25 am

    “Who controls the past controls the future:who controls the present controls the past”

    It doesn’t matter how many times the economy collapses. It doesn’t matter how many times they are proven to be catastrophically wrong, because no matter how many times it happens, it never happened and no one is willing to stand up in public and cry bullshit.