Written By:
notices and features - Date published:
1:42 pm, October 23rd, 2015 - 37 comments
Categories: humour, john key -
Tags: poetry, richie mccaw, sucking up, try hard
In the absence of a caption contest this fine Friday, Standardistas might like to turn their idle hands to poetry. Love poetry. Specifically, the very special love and yearning that John Key seems to feel for Richie McCaw. The Twitterati have made such a good start:
https://twitter.com/danylmc/status/657329263599718400
I love you as certain all black things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.#JKLovePoetry— Foxy, yes that Foxy (@FoxyLustyGrover) October 22, 2015
Ackshully
What I can say
I love Richie
At the end of the day#JKlovepoetry— Bruce King (@CrowdvBank) October 22, 2015
https://twitter.com/StuFlemingNZ/status/657348231014293504
I hate the Wellington Twitterati with their senses of humour, their cutting social commentary and their attention to issues. Disgusts me.
You sound like Gollum on the subject of hobbittsssssssss when he contemplates who has his precious….
What did this arise from?
This?
http://m.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11532844
Richie I luv u
I don’t luv our flag
I also luv stevie
Ur coach is a dag
U bring it home Richie
U’l bring back our cup
And I luv ya Richie
That’s y I suck up
xxJK
I love the left, so bereft, moaning and whinging is their lot, thank god for Jk and the standard as that’s all they’ve got
[lprent: You have been looking in a mirror rather a lot recently haven’t you? You have so described your own most noticeable attributes on this site. ]
For someone who is so besotted with Richie McCaw and co., it worries me he can’t remember which side he was on in 1981. I mean a prime minister who can’t remember something so ‘precious’ to him… what else has he forgotten? Perhaps we should notify John Oliver so he can conduct another investigation.
Luvly stuff thats stickn it where it belongs
Ouch đ
I expect it will be announced very early next week that the prime minister will be out of the country on an official trip to Europe should the All Blacks win on Sunday.
I think you will find that – in the event they make the final – he will miraculously appear at the stadium just before kick-off – courtesy of the tax-payer yet again.
and desperately trying to shake hands with 3 other people at once..unable to decide which one provides the most transferable magical power.
(I suck popularity out of other people)
Already announced – Key is on his way tonight. And warning that the taxpayer will be paying big, not only for him (and don’t forget his ‘minders’) but also for other Ministers. Little is also going but paying part himself apparently.
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11534171
Thought as much. Hope they lose tomorrow and he’s forced to watch SA in the final.
A JK limerick:
Ah, hereâs to all the brave men in black
With all the courageous attributes I lack
But, Crosby Texter, never you fear,
For Iâll keep near them (or them near)
Nineteen Eight-One, canât remember that far back!
Oh Red……you must admit it
Lusting after jocks…..
A grown man in a fit
O’r Richie’s smelly socks
And Hansen’s pretty grumpy
Distraction is not goody
Shut your ears to Ponce Key
Who cares about his woody ?
Rugger’s really not his game
He never saw ten minutes
Sucking sucking on your name
It’s Crosby Textor ‘spin-its’
Humph…….humph…….weirdly, maybe not ?
Oh……My……God……!!!!!!
Rich, m8;-)
Hrd man u;-)
Beats me;-)
? they read
flag 4 fl;-)
xxjk;-)
Big screen, straight locks, yes it’s MBIE.
Punch, red card, referee departs, yes it’s DoC.
No, not that DoC. New coach, new playing style, need the dough, welcome AIG, yes that DoC.
Whistle, cheating, hand in the ruck, blue hand, crowd cheers. Away walks a smirking KeY.
When I see Richie
I start feeling itchy
Because it actually sickens
I go feed the chickens
Nek minit Iâm done with them
And Iâm back being John the PM
There once was a P.M. named Key
who sucked up to McCaw, Richie
said my flag if you’ll back
then every man jack
will vote for it, I’m sure you will see.
A lot of aspersions were cast on Clark and her husband’s sexuality b the machinery of the Right. IF it is true that “Labour does it too”, then where are the snide and pervasive comments that Key is in fact a homosexual and Bronagh is just a cover?
For the record, I don’t believe John Key’s marriage is not genuine. That isnt the point I am making.
Phew, a treasure trove of over fixated little puppies above. John key certianly living in their heads rent free
are u jealous that JK loves Richie more than u?
odd you would waste time commenging. you admired and respected Clark aye?
Even more so now as a dose a reality living overseas has allowed her to grow up and beyond her university socialist views. Great comments on TPP
Just horsing around! Such fun!
Cutting ropata, please be a bit more creative
I dunno if your limp trolling deserves the effort
Yeah well Key has to love the all blacks probably all he can really remember about NZ cause he aint here much and hes sold or trying to obliterate most of the history he has had any part of except covering up cat shagging the economy for his own wealth, he has to live with that or he will go broke
more examples đ
I will seriously consider it. I promise.
Green Eye if you love me true- tell me about my birth Mother.
If you open up to me, then I know you care for me.
If you lie, I will know.
To woo a girl you must be true.
If you show sweetness to me you will warm my heart.
+1
Another one — shame the embedded image won’t come up đ
John Donne must be spewing over this …
NZ’s greatest poet is also in the game…
Some biting political commentary …
Ah Ritchie my mate, everyone loves you
I like the way they flock to your cause
They worship your skill, oh yes they do
They admire and give you constant applause
I wish I were you Ritchie, your name is appealing
I wish I could have some of your standing
Youâve seen the people with which I am dealing
Theyâre rednecks and lefties if I am branding
These people are blind, they donât understand
They donât like me, but I am right, you know that
I am the one who will guide their weak hand
I am the one for whom they should take of their hat
Alas, I rely on your face and the popular game
I rely on your image, your smile and looks
To hide from the things that could bring me shame
To keep these idiots from learning and books
Oh Ritchie, me mate, together we will win
Weâll use your diversions to hide our agenda
Weâll use your appeal to hide all our sin
The game will hide me, the money lender
Youâll promote my flag, my face and my goals
When people see you, they will see me too
From this connection my popularity flows
All of these points, I will accrue
Ah Ritchie my mate, thank you so much
For patting my back and shaking my hand
Giving me kudos that no one can touch
And making the public think I am the man