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6:00 am, July 19th, 2024 - 59 comments
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Open mike is your post.
For announcements, general discussion, whatever you choose.
The usual rules of good behaviour apply (see the Policy).
Step up to the mike …
Consent, politics and social behaviour.
Brett Kavanaugh became a Supreme Court Justice after being questioned about no one being above the law (as all candidates are and all say no one was, something to note given a recent decisions as to easing the rules on corruption and accountability of POTUS – which some call a constitutional coup).
It was pertinent to him, more than the others, because he had once imposed himself by force on top of woman and suggested to the teen he would not get off until she had sex with him – that is that sex was a matter of power and conquest.
Male teens have always tried it on, professions of love, love and marriage, marriage and sex. Getting a teen drunk, doing it "only while drunk means one is not a bad girl". The how will you keep a boyfriend if you don not … . Then blackmail over naked pics etc. Then doing what other girls do … .
Now it is adopting the "not a feminist position (Lucy Rutherford wants a boyfriend)”, empowered to either give or deny consent (at any time during sex) by being dominated by the choker hold (losing the ability to deny consent).
The same old trickledrown of democratic equality, patriarchy sand capitalism in lockstep.
https://www.1news.co.nz/2024/07/19/the-growing-trend-of-rough-sex-and-choking-among-young-people/
It's very worrying. We do seem to be in a period when patriarchy, capitalism, and authoritarian control are resurging.
The article curiously did start with talking about a rise in 'people' being choked. But, in the rest of the article it's all egs of women being choked by men. And the article says,
I wonder why it is so prevalent among alphabet people? And which letters of the alphabet string does it mostly happen with? Or is it part of the neoliberisation of rainbow organisation? (I'm an old lesbian & don't understand this choking trend or support some aspects of some of the ideas currently being pushed Rainbow organisations and networks)
It is worrying that strangulation can cause brain damage.
The widespread escalation of online porn seems to be a factor in the rise in young people engaging in rough sex and choking.
I would say it's for the same reason that it's prevalent amongst young women; they are vulnerable demographics and are more likely to be sexually and physically abused.
https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/press/ncvs-lgbt-violence-press-release/
I would tie it to two things. One is the general liberal position on sex positivity, and the other is the degree to which the kink community took that over so now we have a quite extreme shift in culture where women's rights were left far behind.
Social media also has a large influence in this, and again, women's rights aren't central to the development of platforms or SM culture.
it basically sounds like a rerun of the 60s when the Pill becames available, and while this brought benefits for women, the dominating narrative was one that served men's interests not women's. It looks to me like a fair amount of men involved in the rainbow community side are there because it allows them to be misogynistic.
Yes. There seems to periodic resurgences in male sexual libertarianisms. During feminisms second wave, many women went along with it for a while til they realised it was tending to have negative impacts on women.
Tim Shadbolt's wife was an NZ eg. He was the poster boy for the 1960s counter culture, seen as left wing at the time, though socially quite liberal.
Can you show that levels of violence against LGBTQ groups track alongside domestic violence against women in NZ?
Seems a long bow to draw.
It's hard to get that sort of data. The thing is tho, now the alphabet people includes a fair amount of heterosexual people who ID as trans, gender diverse, non-binary, asexual, queer, etc. So the make-up of people who self ID into the alphabet string are different from the earlier gay and lesbian movement.
This is why focusing on building respect for each other is critical in the next generation, and why attacks on the well-thought out sex and relationship curriculum developed over the past decade are so damaging to our future. Teaching children about body autonomy and about what consent is fundamental to proofing them against exploitative pornography and dangerous ideas from the internet.
I agree. I think there are complex issues there around what to teach when, and also about bringing the public along. I haven't looked closely at the NZ curriculum, but I think it's reasonable for the left to look at where we might be getting this wrong. It's the left that championed sex positivity and that is now out of control. Lessons about consent matter a great deal, but they're not going to overcome the cultural shifts and the pressures from online porn etc.
we just need to have an open conversation about it I think, rather than us all coming from out various reactionary corners (and I mean all of us).
The Relationships and Sexuality Guidelines include some very good stuff around consent, and maybe porn. It probably depends on how it's taught in order to be effective.
I agree with most of the guidelines, just not the ideological stuff that incorporates self IDed gender over natal sex.
The full quote
This second category includes violence against those of the LBGTQ+ community by others, not just issues of sexual consent within the group.
Yeah. That's kind of shifting the focus from the main focus of the article on consensual, albeit pressured, rough sex and choking.
But also, having lived in a house with gay men in the past, I have seen first hand the misogyny of some gay men, along with a focus on a fairly libertarian attitude to sex, pornography, etc. Gay male misogyny has been written about: eg this article on "Ambivalent Sexism and Gay Men in the US and UK".
Also, many Pride marches internationally have included a lot of libertarian style, porn-influenced, displays of sexuality and sexualised, kink-influenced bodies.
Then there's the stories of Trans widows: heterosexual women whose husbands transition and become very controlling and misogynistic towards them.
Don't forget the prevalence of domestic violence in lesbian relationships while you're talking about the G and the T.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence_in_lesbian_relationships
There was a time when wives would be informed by their husband that he was gay …
I doubt it is the nature of their identity change behind this, or they suddenly became misogynistic, more their trying to control their partner's reaction (the shock of now being managed by a "stranger" would be profound). The nature of the experience might depend on communication skills and some consideration of their partner, or the lack of.
The pride marches, represent in some ways the converse of private guilt and shame (society marginalisation), with out and proud with public acceptance.
The Big Gay Out type events indicate a change to being part of the multi-cultural diversity of society (more about identity and less focus on sexuality).
I’m also suspicious of a site full of anonymous anecdotes that anyone can submit without any vetting for credibility. Seems ripe for abuse.
I agree that misogynistic behaviour by recently transitioned males, may not have just suddenly emerged.
However, in the trans widow stories I've read, the behaviour is likely more than just adjusting to their wives' responses to transitioning. The behaviour includes all the strategies used by males controlling and emotionally, sometimes physically, abusing their wives.
This includes, socially isolating the wives by moving away from her friends, or appropriating the wives' female friends by performing solidarity with the wives' friends, and side-lining the wives; sometimes they seem to try to take on their wives' physical characteristics; trying to control the sexual activities with the wife, including making her wear pornified, or kinky clothing she can't relate to and dictating how the sex will occur.
This could well be a small minority of trans identified males, just as extreme misogynistic abuse is carried out by a minority of males generally.
Others like Debbie Hayton (UK gender critical trans IDed male) is an eg of one who has better at communication and negotiation with their wife. The wife's story.
The shifts between sexual libertarianism and sexual conservatism, seem to go in cycles, but I think explaining the libertarian phases as solely being a response to an earlier period of sexual suppression is a bit superficial. In fact, over the course of the last century or 2, I think both phases are largely patriarchal in that the tend to benefit men more than women.
Some women like the libertarian phases. I think it was in the 192Os or 30s that it was a bit more libertarian – maybe due to some post war upheaval.
Post WWII there was an attempt to push women out of war time jobs and back into the home. I think part of that was to control women's fertility in order to replace the loss of men during the war, and to increase the population for maybe consumerist reasons, plus increasing the western male population during the cold war.
During the 60s there was a shift back to the libertarian phase, which feminists, many of whom welcomed the freedom initially, largely came to see the sexual revolution as benefitting men. In the end, women still end up holding the babies and doing most of the household chores while men had more freedom, power and status.
The current sexual libertarian phase seems to include a backlash against the liberal feminism of the neoliberal era (a period during which feminism was neoliberalised, narrowed, and commercialised.
With the current rise of the right, and a new phase of authoritarian capitalism, there is also a rise in patriarchal values on both left and right – though, I prefer the left version to the right wing one because there is more consideration of women (and others), at the lower economic levels, plus environmentalist campaigns.
Nevertheless the feminist gains over the last century, were clearly never embedded permanently in society, law and politics.They were shifts allowed for women, but that could easily be revoked. Feminists keep needing to renew struggles against patriarchal values and the way their enactment shape shifts.
The stories on the website could equally be absolutely false, as they are submitted anonymously and the site has no reputation for credibility.
Also I note the behaviours you state as 'male' are also present in lesbian relationships – being controlling and emotionally, sometimes physically, abusing their wives – all of that can happen in relationships between cis women.
There is no such thing as am "LGBTQI+ community". There are same sex attracted people (LGB) and there are straight people. LGB people are resisting being force teamed with collections of straight people whose interests are not our interests and in some cases are antipathetic to our interests.
It all depends on whether LGB people see themselves as part of the umbrella term "queer" or rainbow (homosexual, does not include bi-sexual).
Transgender people, can be all sorts. To call a transgender person having sex with both male and female, straight, is absurd.
The non binary include those who sleep with male and female. They are neither straight, nor cisgender.
The claim of the primacy of the reality biological sex, as to a type of reality, is one thing, but to call anyone not lesbian, homosexual male or (cisgender) bisexual, straight, is fiction.
any person, whatever their GI, who is sexually attracted to both males and females is bisexual. They are included in LGB.
People can organise however they want, but there is significant pressure and blocking stopping LGB people organising separately from LGBTQI+. Which is ironic from a movement that promotes inclusivity. Forced inclusivity isn't inclusive, it's authoritarian.
I'm curious, if someone's gender identity is female and they are attracted to males, what do you consider their sexual orientation to be? Do you think it changes based on birth sex?
And if they are a trans man (female assigned at birth) and a heterosexual woman is sexually interested in him, does that change the woman's sexual orientation?
Welcome to the site, Caitlin (and Karolyn). We need more women on here, and hope you'll stick around.
If a straight cis-male (and pensionable age at that) can have an opinion, I'd say it's pointless trying to generalise about these matters in today's hyper-complicated GC/GI climate, or to establish universal rules. Each case should be evaluated on its merits.
I'm supportive in general of whatever identification or orientation the "alphabet people" (though I don't really care for that term) might opt for. That's their affair (but don't try to make it mine as well). What I won't have at any price is male-bodied people – especially if they still retain the generative organs they were born with – forcing their way into spaces or contests reserved for cis-females.
Obtrectatrix (there is one) and I are in full agreement on this.
Thanks for the welcome!
I’m not sure what GI is in reference to GC. Does it mean gender ideology? If so I don’t subscribe to any particular ideology, I have my own views.
As for women’s spaces?
I’ve been using them for the better part of 20 years and I’m not going to stop, nor can you really do much about that, sorry!
Hope you have a good rest of your Friday night 🙂
Gender identification.
Currently the readership from google analytics has been consistently showing at or slightly over 50% readership being identified as women for a number of years. There are always issues with stats like that based on who gives google enough information and the coverage for people who don’t have cookies.
I have no sure idea on the current set of commenters, but that does feel to me to be closer to balance than it it has been in the past from what is shown in comments and from the emails that arrive. I haven’t been as all over the comments as I was in years past thanks to some excellent people doing the thankless task of moderators (thanks weka and incognito).
There is a shortage of active women authors from what I know of their real-world identities. I know a number of them, but not all. It isn’t something that we look at – an ability to write good posts and being willing to put up with some of the commenting are the main criteria.
But what worries me is the shortage of the geek community 🙁
Nobody is "assigned" anything at birth – unless it is is a collection of sexist stereotypes tied up in a pink or blue ribbon. Your sex is determined at the moment of conception and is with you all your life – bimodal and immutable.
Your "gendered soul" has nothing at all to do with your sexual attraction.
You can disagree about terminology all you like, it doesn’t change my question.
Your question is meaningless as it has no basis in reality.
Completely wrong. I was asking Weka’s opinion on the specific subject matter; your opinion is, as far as the question is concerned, irrelevant to me.
You are aware that this is a blog that encourages robust debate. As such, anybody can chip in or chime out anywhere and at any stage unless they have been warned or restricted by a Mod or Author, and as long as they add something of value and don’t exhibit trollish behaviour. TS is not the forum for one-on-one or private/personal chats; use DM for that instead.
FWIW, robust debate doesn’t mean combative and in-your-face commenting, as this tends to increase tension and lower the quality of the conversation. In this sense, it can be quite close to needling and flaming, to use a few related negative behaviours or styles, IMO.
Saying “Your question is meaningless” isn’t exactly conducive to debate. They didn’t even offer an explanation why.
Are those who do not identify as cisgender welcome in LGB groups?
I can't speak for all LGB groups but my general response is of course. Why wouldn't they be?
LGBA for instance, has trans people in it. LGBA organises around sexual orientation, not gender identity, but that doesn't mean they exclude trans people. There are trans people who are LGB.
https://lgballiance.org.uk/
I wonder if there is some confusion here. LGB groups are saying they want to organise around sexual orientation, i.e. LGB.
LGBTQI+ want to organise around Rainbow/queer, which is a conglomeration of identity, gender identity, sexuality and so on and includes heterosexual people eg those that identify as queer.
I agree with what you said earlier,
(except for the idea that Rainbow excludes bi, it doesn't).
Lots of LGB people are no longer interested in Rainbow or the + stuff, because of the homophobia eg the pressure on lesbian and gays to included gender identity as part of their sexual orientation. Lesbians being told to date TW (males, often with no surgery or hormonal transition) or they're bigots kind of thing. This stuff pisses a lot of people off, because it overrides personal sexual and body autonomy.
Of note is that lesbians talked about this for a long time, and then it started to affect gay men so got more attention. But how many het me do you know that would be ok having sex with a male person who has socially transitioned to being a TW (no surgery or hormones)? That's asking a man to have sex with another man. Some het men are fine with that, most aren't.
It all depends on whether LGB people see themselves as part of the umbrella term "queer" or rainbow (homosexual, does not include bi-sexual).
That was not my intended meaning, more that the term queer and rainbow were used because homosexual did not include bi-sexual.
Maybe more a case that while there is contention between two groups, those who can be of either adopt a low profile. They would be the non binary.
Otherwise it might be that the transgender who claimed to be same gender sex or bi-sexual, may not be welcome among those who are cisgender in their homosexuality.
The irony here is that as a heterosexual trans woman, I’m allowed into these ‘LGB’ groups as they view me as a gay man.
However my day-to-day life is that of a straight woman so I have nothing in common with either gay men or lesbians (on the basis that it’s a group for LGB issues).
ok, that makes more sense.
the difference is political. From my pov, NB is a political identity, it's not an inherent state of being. Humans have always had gender non-conforming people, that's simply normal variation outside of the bell curve in relation to gender roles.
People who hate their bodies/sex bodies, that's another thing, but why do they end up NB instead of trans?
But that I don't understand. What is 'same gender sex'?
As I already said, there are trans people in LGBA. They are there because they are L, G or B.
The problem is where politically trans people insist that bio sex isn't relevant to sexual orientation. This is inherently homophobic as well as causing categorisation problems for the human brain. It renders sexual orientation as null, in the same way as saying TW are women renders the category of female (biological) null.
Actually, let me rephrase that, because I initially thought you meant whether LGB groups included trans people who are LGB (they do).
But if you mean someone for whom GI is the primary consideration and who argues that GI determine sexual orientation, then they're really not going to fit in.
I think there is a general shift in the socialising for men that is happening alongside the loss of second wave feminism. This on twitter this morning was illuminating. It's a discussion about women being harassed on the street, including the journalist filming the harassment over 2 hours while walking down a busy town street.
https://x.com/wekatweets/status/1814046234463912283
I think this is getting worse. If society had integrated feminism, we would be far ahead of this by now. It's basically the casualisation of rape culture, very concerning given all the work done in recent decades. There are wider issues here around social and political decay but it's women that bear the brunt.
All we want/can expect is a local government that is functional and can hold rate increases to 10% pa.
https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/what-you-need-to-know/522539/missing-mayor-record-rates-rises-and-tauranga-s-election-what-s-going-on-with-councils
All we MUST expect is that Councils have their rates increases capped at inflation rate/CPI as that is the constraint upon their rate payers income! Otherwise the Councils just take a larger and larger share of Rate Payers income. At 10% a year (remember it compounds – just like 'compound interest’ but in the other direction) rates will double every 7.3 years
https://www.investopedia.com/ask/answers/what-is-the-rule-72/#:~:text=How%20the%20Rule%20of%2072,(1.107.3%20%3D%202).
"For example, the Rule of 72 states that $1 invested at an annual fixed interest rate of 10% would take 7.2 years ((72 ÷ 10) = 7.2) to grow to $2. In reality, a 10% investment will take 7.3 years to double (1.107.3 = 2).
The Rule of 72 is reasonably accurate for low rates of return"
Yeah that horse has bolted from the stables – we have too much delayed infrastructure work to do.
All (not!) very well but massive rates increases will eventually strip home ownership from those whose income does not rise by the same amount. It will lock in high inflation as long as such increases continue. Getting the low income rates rebate is already a mission of refusal to accept applications unless insurmountable hurdles are jumped.
Those who survived the mortgage cost of recent times will survive the rates increases more easily. Retired homeowners can (should be able to) defer rates.
I am not aware that getting the rebate is an issue, just that it has not been increased for awhile (and rising incomes means fewer people qualify for all of it).
While rates are increasing at 10%, insurance is currently on average going up 15% and has been increasing at a pace for over 10 years.
Anyone with a mortgage has to have insurance – it is more of a problem than rates. In some areas, house prices will fall because of the difficulty in getting, or affording insurance.
Isn't the problem that a lot of the infrastructure upgrades should be either financed by central govt, or local councils should be able to take on more debt?
The government is making councils come to them with a plan for them to approve before signing off on increased access to debt finance.
tRump, Vance, Heritage etc will be bad enough for 'Murica but tRump, Vance and billionaire extremists Theil, Musk, etc will be bad for everybody.
@docrussjackson
#THREAD Hitler survived assassination attempts. We know what that led to.
Reagan & Thatcher survived assassination attempts. They gave us neoliberalism. Trump survived. He's chosen JD Vance as his running mate. If elected, America will become a dystopian free-market kleptocracy.
https://x.com/docrussjackson/status/1813148916575010830
https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1813148916575010830.html
@PhilipJGermain
THREAD: JD Vance and Project 2025 are a match made in heaven. Vance will do whatever Trump asks of him, no matter how extreme. Vance promoted Heritage Foundation and Kevin Roberts, who recently said this American Revolution will remain bloodless if the left allows it to be
https://x.com/PhilipJGermain/status/1813702533229301979
https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1813702533229301979.html
Sorry Joe, but it's time for the Biden rocket to lift off.
He is making the same mistake Ruth Bader Ginsburg made in 2015-2016. She wanted to have her place filled by POTUS Clinton. And it invited McConnell to make his double play on a Trump victory.
This time Biden's attempt to have 2 terms is giving Trump the chance to do so.
He is past the age at which the ability to handle long hours has gone, his physical decline is noticeable and his ability to communicate/articulate is not going to improve.
Remember when S 75 K 77, B 75 C 73 and even A 69 (all dying in office) were seen as old men and symptomatic of the problem of the one party state system – one lacking in vitality? Well Joe Biden arrived in the Senate in the 1970's and is too old to hold any office but the Papacy in his church.
Biden has said he'd step down as presidential candidate if a 'medical condition emerged. IMO he's probably done but I've yet to see any clear option for an alternative candidate with a realistic chance of winning.
does Biden have a chance of winning?
Now's probably a good time to listen to Black women.
sherrilynifill
I’m telling you. Turnout wins elections. This obnoxiously tin-eared public campaign against Biden-Harris, undertaken publicly & w/o consultation with Black leaders & voter turnout organizers may be the biggest case of political malpractice we’ve seen in a long time. It looks mean, disloyal and timid. Not the look that drives voters to the polls. They better clean this up. Soon.
https://www.threads.net/@sherrilynifill/post/C9kTD0eMfOm
Not really. Unless the mass of those prepared to respond to the Republican/Trump abortion stance actually do.
No other prospective Democratic candidate registers over 5% in any poll.
sure but presumably that would change if Biden got sick for instance and stood down. It's not like people who vote Dem aren't going to vote for the next candidate.
Also, remember Little and Ardern.
"K 77" did die at 77 years of age, but not in office. He was hoofed out by "B 75" at just turned 70. Even then he was past it.
Well, unsurprisingly, the Gaza pier has been dismantled after delivering the equivalent of 600 truck loads of aid, otherwise known as millions of pounds in US military PR speak. This is equal to the amount needed for 1 day in prewar Gaza. Most of the pier aid remains undelivered and undeliverable since Israel has targeted and killed the civilian personnel and infrastructure that made delivery possible. On top of that, this week another multiple missile strike on UNRWA has destroyed their headquarters in Gaza with loss of lives.
This past week has been the deadliest for Palestinians of the whole war as Israel takes the opportunity for increased savagery as the news shifts focus to the US elections.
Lancet has just produced a report that details the death toll from secondary effects due to infrastructure collapse. The usual rate in wars is 3 to 15 times the direct death tally. They use a very conservative 4, given the direct targeting of hospitals and schools, sanitation and water supply, not to mention starvation as a weapon and torture that the NYT has detailed to include sodomy by heated metal bars, to reach a death toll of 180,000. In 10 short months.
https://thecradle.co/articles/us-declares-mission-complete-for-gaza-aid-pier-after-delivering-one-days-worth-of-food
https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736%2824%2901169-3/fulltext
Oh joy, a world where billions are spent on ways for the uber-rich to live forever and the rest of us work harder for longer to finance their fear of death.
/
A drug has increased the lifespans of laboratory animals by nearly 25%, in a discovery scientists hope can slow human ageing too.
The treated mice were known as "supermodel grannies" in the lab because of their youthful appearance.
They were healthier, stronger and developed fewer cancers than their unmedicated peers.
The drug is already being tested in people, but whether it would have the same anti-ageing effect is unknown.
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cv2gr3x3xkno
Well if they could add something like that to the Sukin night cream range that would be appreciated. Could also add a welcome hit to the Dr Hauschka eyecream.