Paula, John, seriously, put away the champagne

Written By: - Date published: 12:53 pm, February 6th, 2010 - 2 comments
Categories: john key, spin, unemployment - Tags:

Paula Bennett and John Key have been, once again, prematurely popping the bottle of champagne to celebrate the end of rising unemployment.
 
In the face of the shocking 7.3% unemployment rate announced on Thursday, the pair responded by saying ‘ah, but that was December quarter things are better now.’ They pointed to the number of people on the dole. Apparently, at the end of January that stood at 68,369 (up 185% since they came to power) and this they said was good news. Because the increase from December to January was only 1,850 – 100 per working day – or 3%, whereas the increase last year was 12%. Smaller increase, things are looking up!
 
But last year is a really really dumb comparison – it was the height of the global crisis. Over the previous nine years (Dec 1999-Jan 2008) on average numbers fell 1% between December and January. That’s the normal seasonal trend, and we’re not following in. In fact, we’re heading in the opposite direction.
 
So, no Paula, no John, that’s not good news, it’s bloody awful news. When we would normally expect dole numbers to drop 1%, they’ve risen 3%. It is an early indicator that unemployment will increase again in the March quarter.
 
The weird thing is the Key Government actually seems to be taken in by their own spin. They have repeatedly declared victory, been shown to be out of touch when things get worse, only to declare victory all over again. Their credibility on delivering for New Zealanders is now totally shot.

2 comments on “Paula, John, seriously, put away the champagne ”

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  1. Pete 1
    6 February 2010 at 2:00 pm

    Key really should begin doing his pressers with a ‘Mission Accomplished’ banner in the background.

  2. Rex Widerstrom 2
    6 February 2010 at 7:40 pm

    Minister in Charge of Unemployment Paula Bennett today celebrated the release of positive new statistics with a glass of Lion Brown.

    “See, I haven’t forgotten my roots,” she proclaimed, before sipping the amber fluid, grimacing slightly, and handing the glass to her scullery maid.

    “A few months ago I had a line halfway down the block offering to mow my lawns and take out my garbage for less than the minimum wage,” she said, putting her feet up on a coffee table which a reporter noticed seemed to be carved in the shape of a worker on their hands and knees.

    “Carved to look like one?” Ms Bennett replied? “Why if that bastard has gone home early again…” before being interrupted by her press secretary, who appeared to be holding a rag and a bottle of chloroform.

    “Anyway, now I can hardly find anyone to do the menial jobs, like trim my toenails with a whipper snipper, since David Farrar started picking them up in a brown windowless van. I understand they spend all day phoning one another to check they’re all still employed,” she explained.

    Asked how her Department could let a foreign national live on a sickness benefit for ten years while running a thriving methamphetamine business, Ms Bennett explained that NZ’s rising population meant that, statistically, more people would get sick, before taking another sip of beer and dozing off.

    Apologising that there’d be no more questions that say, her press secretary was seen slipping what looked suspiciously like a bottle of Rohypnol into her pocket.