SAS inspires money-making scheme

Written By: - Date published: 9:30 am, November 9th, 2010 - 23 comments
Categories: corruption, Satire - Tags:

I’m a nurse at a public hospital. Our social fund is looking a bit thin this year so we thought would invite school groups to come along to the hospital, charge $25 a head, and let them play around with the equipment like X-ray machines and bandages to get a sense of how we work as a team. I’m sure Mr Key will say it’s a “good idea“.

23 comments on “SAS inspires money-making scheme ”

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  1. Tigger 1
    9 November 2010 at 9:58 am

    Sounds awesome. The police could use some extra dosh so I’m going to suggest they start a ‘rent-a-ridealong’ service – for a fee you can ride with real cops as they do their job. For an extra charge you can arrest people and for even more you get to tazer a perp!

  2. Jenny 2
    9 November 2010 at 10:10 am

    These imaginary services would only be available for those with money and power and influence.

    The sad thing is that truth can sometimes be stranger than fiction.

    A number of years ago surgical staff at Auckland Hospital complained publicly about SAS members being given access to critical care surgery to have the experience of extreme surgical procedures.

    Though it was unclear exactly what the purpose of this exposure to these procedures the SAS was hoping to serve, the general consensus was that it was part of their training to inure them to human gore and suffering.

  3. Lew 3
    9 November 2010 at 10:15 am

    Maybe, for a bit extra, you could let people fire the defibrillators and yell “CLEAR” like in ER. Or play with the nifty auto-dose machines they use for pain relief.

    L

  4. ianmac 4
    9 November 2010 at 10:46 am

    How about letting parents play with National Standards criteria and let them fight it out when they find they are so variable and inconsistent that they are meaningless?

  5. D14 5
    9 November 2010 at 10:54 am

    How about letting businesses buy a day in parliament to play around with passing legislation.

  6. tsmithfield 6
    9 November 2010 at 11:01 am

    For any organisation, if its during downtime when things are quiet, then why not? So long as there is a profit for the organisation.

    Given that there is very little downtime for nurses or police then I don’t think this sort of scenario is likely to arise.

    • Bright Red 6.1
      9 November 2010 at 11:51 am

      because the bullets they fired and guns they used are not free and neither is the time of our SAS soldiers?

      When someone takes, without authority, public property for private use, that’s called corruption.

      The $35,000 raised was raised using our equipment and our workers’ time. It should never have happened and now that it has the money belongs to us, not a private trust.

    • Bored 6.2
      9 November 2010 at 12:15 pm

      TS, that is a pretty stupid comment even for you. Just to put it into perspective, I have a son in the forces, he does so as duty to the NZ forces, not for a pack of dollar driven Auckland blowhard business men. I asked his opinion, he told me that if these buggers cared to do “basic” first they might get his respect, as it is he said they were not there to do “civie” stuff, they have a real job and they take it seriously. They take pride in what they do. Which is more than our politicians seem to.

  7. M 7
    9 November 2010 at 11:22 am

    Just make sure that Key doesn’t get to fool around in a brewery for a fee because instead of merely sounding illiterate he’ll be totally unintelligible.

  8. Jeremy Harris 8
    9 November 2010 at 12:01 pm

    I take the point but children learning about how to use an X-ray (anything hands on and scientific) actually sounds like a good idea…

    • John McKenzie 8.1
      9 November 2010 at 12:34 pm

      Let me be the first to point out how extraordinarily dangerous letting children use an X-ray machine would be. Not only is the machine itself incredibly expensive, it also is potentially fatal to anything that enjoys using DNA.

      The X-ray is one device that, like firearms, should only be handled by trained individuals. Not kids, and not boys playing army.

      • The Baron 8.1.1
        9 November 2010 at 5:35 pm

        John – very good points. Sounds like that particular suggestion doesn’t make sense.

        The concept remains sound though, so long as you can find a safer way of delivering the experience. Just like the SAS example, the marginal costs of this are low (admittedly not non-existent) and it provides a great opportunity to increase public understanding. Also provides a source of funding for good causes that the public service otherwise shy away from. Win/win/win from the sound of things.

        So what’s the problem here?

        • Colonial Viper 8.1.1.1
          9 November 2010 at 5:56 pm

          Just like the SAS example, the marginal costs of this are low (admittedly not non-existent) and it provides a great opportunity to increase public understanding.

          Its time away from training, babysitting business geeks. And if its not time away from training, its time away from their families when they are home and not on deployment.

          Public understanding? Meh. These aren’t the Cubs or WINZ, the SAS do not require public understanding.

          Also provides a source of funding for good causes

          How do you know that privately held trust is a good cause run properly? Have you examined their deed, their structure and their accounts?

          Guess what, the SAS are not here to act as fundraisers, or as after dinner drinks entertainment.

          Win/win/win from the sound of things.

          Yours is a worse than useless analysis and conclusion. For the above reasons.

    • Colonial Viper 8.2
      9 November 2010 at 12:53 pm

      *Shakes head*

      You seem to think an awful lot of things are good ideas which actually, definitely, are not.

      Further to JM’s comments, x-raying children and having them around xray equipment should be avoided if at all possible as young persons cellular DNA is dividing at an especially fast rate and more susceptible to damage from ionising radiation.

      • Jeremy Harris 8.2.1
        9 November 2010 at 6:27 pm

        Do you much about how much radiation a modern x-ray machine gives off..?

        Didn’t think so…

        I see nothing wrong with field trips for children to an facility with an x-ray to see how it works as long as it doesn’t affect the operation of the facility…

  9. Irascible 9
    9 November 2010 at 3:36 pm

    How about hiring out our schools.. the businesspeople could hire the facilities and school uniforms and academic gowns and then roleplay being teachers and students, just like the hospitals could allow them top roleplay Doctors & nurses. Should appeal to the higher echelons of management and certain well quoted bloggers from the right.

  10. Bill 10
    9 November 2010 at 9:32 pm

    Inspirational!

    Being unemployed I’m all of a sudden thinking of running day courses at a mere $20 a head, under the table, of course!…[to avoid hypocritical ‘catch 22’s], to teach young folk, and the soon to be jettisoned, the life skills and strategies they will need in the real world that’s coming on down fast.

    (Discounts rates offered to Standardistas.)

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