Caption competition
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10:22 am, March 7th, 2014 - 82 comments
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Te Tiriti o Waitangi is our country’s founding document. It forms the basis of the relationship between Māori and the Crown – and the Aotearoa New Zealand we live in today. ...1 week ago
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The Green Party says the need is greater than ever for Aotearoa New Zealand to pursue an independent foreign policy. ...2 weeks ago
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Mental Health Minister Matt Doocey today opened Kahurangi, an innovative and much-needed facility for Canterbury’s Child, Adolescent, and Family Mental Health Services. “The new state of the art outpatient facility opened today will be a gamechanger for the way mental health is delivered for young people in Canterbury,” says Mr ...23 minutes ago - Driver safety screens to be installed on Auckland buses
Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed news from the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) that bus driver protection screens will be installed across Auckland’s bus fleet by 2026.“The Government is committed to improving the safety of working environments for bus drivers, and Budget 2024 allocated $15 million of Crown funding over ...53 minutes ago
- Government action provides Southland farmers more time to meet plan requirements
The Government is taking action to ensure Southland farmers and growers are not affected by unreasonable regional farm plan deadlines, Agriculture Minister Todd McClay, Environment Minister Penny Simmonds and Associate Environment Minister Andrew Hoggard say.“Cabinet has agreed to provide more time for farmers and growers to comply with regional rules ...17 hours ago
- Bill reaffirms Government’s commitment to crack down on serious youth offending
The Oranga Tamariki (Responding to Serious Youth Offending) Bill had its first reading at Parliament today. The Bill reaffirms the Government’s commitment to crack down on serious youth offending, Minister for Children Karen Chhour says. “In recent years we have seen an unacceptable spike in youth offending. “This Bill makes ...18 hours ago
- Critical milestones for earthquake buildings review
Fairer, more sensible rules about managing earthquake risks are a step closer with the passing of legislation and the appointment of an independent chair to provide expert advice, Minister for Building and Construction Chris Penk says. “The Government is committed to reinvigorating our cities and regions to support economic growth, ...18 hours ago
- State of the art radiology machine for Auckland
People in Northland and Auckland will benefit from a new machine for cancer treatment installed at the Regional Cancer and Blood Service at Auckland City Hospital. The MV5 linear accelerator, or LINAC machine, officially opened today targets cancer tumours with pinpoint accuracy. Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says this new, ...19 hours ago
- Foreign Minister to visit Europe
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- First arrests made under gang patch ban
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- Better support for victims of sexual violence
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- Government moving forward with Regional Deals
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- MSA pilot participant update
One of the ten young men selected to participate in the Military-Style Academy Pilot has allegedly reoffended. Children’s Minister Karen Chhour is disappointed but says it would be naïve to think that none of these young men would reoffend. “I’m saddened that this young person has not taken this opportunity ...22 hours ago
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Delivered at Auckland Trade and Economic Policy School Good morning and thank you Deputy Vice Chancellor Lithander for your warm welcome and for inviting me to open Auckland Trade and Economic Policy School today. A Special thanks to the University of Auckland, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade and ...23 hours ago
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- Improving the lives of young New Zealanders
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- Government continues work to reinstate livestock exports by sea
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Tēnā koutou katoa – it is a pleasure to be here today. I would like to begin by acknowledging the important leadership role you all play in ensuring a quality health system New Zealanders can trust. There is enormous clinical expertise in this room covering a wide range of disciplines. ...2 days ago
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Tēnā koutou katoa. Mr President, Excellencies, Delegates. New Zealand, and all nations represented here today, are already dealing with the impacts of climate change. Our households, businesses, and economies are bearing the costs of its effects. The choices we make now will shape the severity of these impacts for generations ...2 days ago
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- Gang crackdown begins at stroke of midnight
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- LGFA increases borrowing capacity to support high growth councils
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- Protecting New Zealand from foreign interference
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- Minister to consider 7AA select committee report
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Stephanie Gomes-Ng, Senior Lecturer of Psychology, Auckland University of Technology Getty Images Former New Zealand prime minister John Key has three white rabbits painted on his helicopter, a nod to his “massively superstitious” habit of repeating “white rabbits” three times at ...4 hours ago
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The coalition has "absolutely no intention of listening to the evidence that comes out of their experiment", Labour MP says. ...5 hours ago
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Labour claims Government is ‘cherry-picking’ smoking trends data to hide decade-first increase in daily smokers The post Smoke and mirrors in heated tobacco debate appeared first on Newsroom. ...5 hours ago
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The Government’s economic adviser is sending a message it doesn’t want to hear – superannuation is increasingly unaffordable The post Treasury bangs the drum on ‘unsustainable’ superannuation appeared first on Newsroom. ...5 hours ago
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A man abused by a former political figure is "immensely relieved" at a government proposal to end secrecy around sex offenders' identities. ...5 hours ago
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“So people who do this for a living get minimum wage?? Haha, losers!!”
Remember Gerry, lift the corner of the rug first, then sweep
+1, “and Gerry, find the biggest rug you can, we’ve got a jolly big lot to sweep under it”
The Prime Minister swept into Christchurch yesterday to mop up a Gerry Brownlee mess.
+1
Gerry does look awfully pleased about something.
Sergeant Schultz smirks at the sloppy work of an unidentified lackey, thinking of the punishment he can use. He doesn’t know the slippery lackey is just creating a diversion for an escape operation.
Key cleans up after Brownlee empties his bladder on the floor again..
Addict forced to do chores before his methadone is handed out..
Idiot wanker holds a different pole for a change..
(Through smiling gritted teeth)
“Grab the other broom and help me you fat lazy prick”
Jezuz Gerry get out of the way, your squeezing too way much water out.
Fuck I thought I could walk on water.
Popular successful PM has his photo taken
Pissed Buffon with unconvincing toupee tries his hand at honest day’s work for first time in life.
Drunk PM mops up own stinking pool of diarrhea after mistaking liquid-laxative for Single Malt.
Drunk golfer mistakes pharmacy for putting green..
Quick thinking pharmacy worker photographs Hawaiian overstayer committing robbery..
lol
heh..!..i like the ‘hawaiian overstayer’..
..(and..if yours..i hope you don’t mind if i use/adopt it in the future..it is a meme worth fostering..
..and i am sure..will fit many situations..)
headline:..’hawaiian-overstayer seeks high political-office..”
..phillip ure..
heheh is a good name to start spreading all over the MSM comments sections.
snrk snrk
Good one.
Sweeping the imminent demise of pharmac under the carpet.
I thought I was king canute but I’m just a noot!
While picking up daily meds for Key, the pregnant Brownlee’s waters broke..
Hey guys, Gerry left his Huggies at home, but ekshully the Cabinet office says it’s all good. Do I look cool ?
PM caught redhanded , desparately attempting to sweep the Judith Collins fiasco under the carpet.
PM sweeps yet another lacklustre labour challenger away
key:..
“..aahh!!..takes me back to my days mopping up all the shit @ merrill-lynch..eh..?..”
..phillip ure..
gezza-brownlee assumes his usual public-loo…’wide-stance’…
phillip ure..
key:..
..”..i scrub and i scrub…and yet the stains won’t go away..”
..phillip ure..
Key provides a visual image of what Labour/Greens will be having to do when they get into power – clean up the mess National have created.
Brownlee shows what a big joke he thinks the mess is.
gezza-brownlie..(thinks..)
“..whoar..!..i wish he’d do that to my pole..!”..
..phillip ure…
wild-life photographer catches/captures rand-ites at play..
..phillip ure..
brownlee rushes..to fill the gap…
..phillip ure..
This is just like being back at PlaySkool …..
Key shows an example of the type of job he sees fit for the majority of New Zealanders
Brownlee chuckles as he thinks of Key and Joyce’s latest plans for sabotaging the education system
photographer captures ‘the best side’..
..of both key and brownlee..
..phillip ure..
Gerry’s not a malicious authoritarian, he let me mop up the dirty water!
key adopts the ‘relaxed’ posture..
..and brownlee..seeing/seizing his opportunity..
..moves in..
..phillip ure..
key:.
“..her..?..she’s from the gcsb..they’re everywhere..eh..?..”
phillip ure..
Oops, Gerry laughed a bit too much when I said I had a ‘blind’ trust
key:..
“..after this..big-gezza and i are going to hit the shelves…
..for a bit of mix and match..
..this is why we are both grinning ear to ear.
..it’s..in expectation..eh..?..”
..phillip ure..
key:..
“..we cant get big enough nappies for him..eh..?..”
phillip ure..
It would be cool to do this for the median wage – that’s $75k pa right? Easy money!
key:..
“..no..my hairpiece is not ‘lifting-off’..”
phillip ure..
key:..
..”..i just imagine it is all that money sloshing into my ‘blind'(heh-heh!)-trusts..”
..phillip ure..
$14/hour! Jeez, productive work sucks compared to speculation!
The $9.70 I’ll get paid for this is the only part of my 50mil I really deserve – Haha
If I gaze at the water I can see my face! Ah one more time, if I gaze at…
Which do I love more – redistributing wealth upwards or sweeping sh*t downwards?
Brownlee invisible pony stresses out.
Key digs nation into even bigger hole.
Water, water, everywhere … … say, Gerry, didn’t we have plans to privatize the stuff at some point.
This is my vision of your brighter future
Or alternately, “This is your vision of my brighter future.”
Gerry – when did we join “the underclass”
“one may smile and smile and be a villain”
Gerry – we suspended ECan, so can I steal this water too?
lol good one AB
+100
Look, Gerry, it doesn’t matter what crawls out of the woodwork, just do as I do and sweep it under the carpet!
“See Phil this is how you do a photoshoot”
The moment before mr key’s pole dance demonstration for a social media photo opportunity went very wrong…
Mopping up some of David’s lies of last week. Pass me a bigger bucket, please.
“So, I was told to come down to Christchurch to get a handle on the crisis.”
“Some people don’t like slime but I feel right at home.”
Key floods Christchurch so that he can get his photo op. Goes to extraordinary lengths that Machivellian chap.
lol
“I knew trickledown had to be of some use!”
Having run out of carpet the pm started stuffing secrets down brownlees undies
GB: “See John, I will be the management, you pretend to be the worker”
JK: “Hi ho, hi ho, this ‘working’ lark is a piece of piss, give me another hit of that morphine stuff”
I have pills in my pocket! Yum
“Here’s another fine mess you’ve gotten me into”….actually, could it be….it’s spooky how much they resemble Laurel and Hardy when I look at them
‘Aren’t floods fun?!’
Well somebody has to clean up Cunliffe’s mess….
Tory troll shows lack of wit when viewing picture of Year 1 woodwork student cleaning Mr Brownlee’s [cl]ass
Can’t handle the truth eh AB…suck it in…truth does hurt…Your leader’s mess is all over the place and all over the newspapers and media…
Aah – not a caption methinks just a weak insult. And btw I have no ‘leader’. Tories do tend to fetishise ‘leadership’ though, probably because they are natural authoritarians
Hah, last night I watched a speech by Mr Goebbels, and I saw a video of “Mein Fuehrer”, and hey, it gave me ideas, get a broom or something, pretend you are one of “the people”, and your votes and coming electoral victory are “ensured”. Hence here I am , pushing shit for shits sake, to make shit happen, for my own shit purpose, for a shit PM that runs a shit country! Easy goes, it is all in “good hands”.
Fly in. Fly out.
Key laughs at the fact nature has delivered him another another great photo opportunity while the deputy leader of National eyes the spot in his back he is thinking about inserting his knife should the opportunity arrive for him to try for the top spot as leader of the National Party!
“You see Gerry, every natural disaster is an easy photo-op win. Just remember to grin at the camera like an idiot, the munters love it. You gonna get a broom and help or just standing there laughing at the absurdity of it? Yes of course I’m joking. Excuse me Miss? Can you pour a bucket of water here please, it doesn’t look wet enough.”
Unidentified golfer mishandles croquet mallet; human hoop pulls derp face in response.
Key sweeps Labour aside to win Election
Two unidentified politicians rush to yet another Christchurch crisis for yet another photo op. Wish they’d just piss off!
Hey, no worries – after so many years in the National Party I’m used to being surrounded by this stuff. This is nothing: most of the time I have to push it uphill!