Caption competition
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2:15 pm, August 26th, 2014 - 82 comments
Categories: caption contest, john key -
Tags: sausage
82 comments on “Caption competition ”
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Take the baitYou pay the priceIt's much too lateFor good adviceYou know and I know that our good things' throughBecause there's consequences for what we doConsequences for me and youWriters: Kevin Robert Hayes, David Nagier, Bonnie Adele Hayes.Fallout from the first readingOne News began last night by saying that tens ...13 hours ago - Thank you, driver!
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- Mark Patterson: Farmers understand we have their backs
Spring is here which means the start of the A&P show season. Those treasured community days where town meets country. There's no rural-urban divide here, just a chance to meet up with family and old friends and celebrate all things that make rural New Zealand so special. I'm embarking on ...2 weeks ago - Release: Funding for Gumboot Friday should pause
The National Government should review its support for Gumboot Friday after unacceptable comments by its leader and champion Mike King. ...2 weeks ago
- Louise Upston cherry-picks data to punch down on the poor
The Government has very conveniently cherry-picked data from the latest MSD projections to justify its cruel agenda and punch-down policy when it comes to people living in poverty. ...2 weeks ago
- Luxon needs to address the cow in the room
The Green Party was appalled to hear Prime Minister Christopher Luxon claim we are “doing everything we can” on climate change, while his government does nothing to address emissions in our most polluting sector. ...3 weeks ago
- Construction to begin on next stage of Papakura to Drury
Construction on the next stage of the SH1 Papakura to Drury project will begin early next month, with the contract for works awarded to Fulton Hogan, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. "SH1 Papakura to Drury is a key project that will drive economic growth and productivity, reduce congestion, and enable people ...12 hours ago - NZ signs trade deal with Costa Rica, Iceland and Switzerland
Trade and Agriculture Minister Todd McClay has signed a pioneering trade agreement that prioritises New Zealand’s sustainable exports at a ceremony during APEC in Peru today. “The Agreement on Trade and Sustainability (ACCTS), between Costa Rica, Iceland, and Switzerland was concluded in July of this year and opens up significant ...14 hours ago
- Government and iwi work together on aquaculture
Five new Aquaculture Settlement Areas will help ensure Ngāi Tahu shares in the opportunities aquaculture offers for Southland’s economy, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. “The Aquaculture Settlement Areas (ASAs) I’m announcing today set aside space so the Crown and Ngāi Tahu can assess their potential for aquaculture development. ...1 day ago
- Government launches review to ensure electricity market is fit-for-purpose
The terms of reference for a review of the performance of the electricity market have been released. The review, initiated by the Coalition Government during the power crisis in winter will look at whether current regulations and market design support economic growth and access to reliable and affordable electricity, Energy Minister ...1 day ago
- Speech to Social Investment Hui: Jack and his whānau need our help
Kia ora koutou katoa. Nau mai, haere mai, piki mai. Ki te mihi atu ahau, ki te manwhenua nei, Te Atiawa, Ngāti toa rangatira, tēnā koutou, tēnā koutou, tēnā koutou katoa. Thank you, Andy, for your introduction. Let me acknowledge you as the new Chief Executive of the Social Investment ...2 days ago
- Minister of State for Trade heads to Brisbane for PACER Plus meeting
Minister of State for Trade Nicola Grigg has travelled to Australia to attend the PACER Plus Ministers Meeting in Brisbane. “Trade plays a critical role in driving employment, economic growth, and improving the standards of living in the Pacific Region. The Government is strongly committed to supporting Pacific Island countries ...2 days ago
- Proposals to modernise conservation released
Toitū te taiao – Our environment endures The Government is consulting on proposals to modernise New Zealand’s conservation management system, aiming to protect relevant natural areas while supporting sustainable growth in tourism and regional economies, Conservation Minister Tama Potaka says. “Today, the Department of Conservation – Te Papa Atawhai is ...2 days ago
- Treaty Principles Bill passes first reading
Associate Justice Minister David Seymour says all New Zealanders will now be able to have their say on the Treaty Principles Bill after it passed its first reading and was sent to the Justice Committee to be considered. “I look forward to seeing what Kiwis have to say on the ...2 days ago
- Antarctic cooperation at centre of Scott Base visit
Finance Minister and Associate Climate Change Minister Nicola Willis will travel to Antarctica next week to engage with international partners and scientists and to assess latest steps in the redevelopment of Scott Base. “New Zealand has important interests in Antarctica and our longstanding presence at Scott Base is a key ...2 days ago
- Contactless payments launching on public transport in Auckland
The Government and Auckland Council are delivering contactless payments on Auckland’s public transport network later this month which will enable commuters to tag on and off public buses, trains, and ferries travelling across the region, Transport Minister Simeon Brown and Auckland Mayor Wayne Brown says.The NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) and ...2 days ago
- RIF funding supports aquaculture development
The Coalition Government is backing the development of an aquaculture centre of excellence in Southland with an investment of $2.2 million, Regional Development Minister Shane Jones says. South Island Industrial Fund Ltd will use the Regional Infrastructure Fund (RIF) loan towards its $6.3m project to upgrade infrastructure at the Ocean ...2 days ago
- Safeguarding Kiwis with modern insurance law
Modernised insurance law will provide Kiwis with confidence that they will be treated fairly by insurance providers, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly says. “A secure insurance market is integral to New Zealand’s economic success. It enables consumers and businesses to access finance and gives them the assurance to ...2 days ago
- When the going gets tough ‘Get Through’ with Farmstrong
An online hub with mental wellbeing tools and resources designed to help farmers and growers deal with the stress of adverse weather events has been officially launched by Minister for Mental Health, Matt Doocey. “Adverse weather events are an increasingly common reality for our farmers and growers. It’s vital that ...2 days ago
- Government exploring new energy source
Up to $60 million will be ring-fenced from the Regional Infrastructure Fund to invest in exploring the potential of supercritical geothermal technology which could help secure New Zealand’s future energy needs, Regional Development Minister Shane Jones and Science, Innovation, and Technology Minister Judith Collins say. Having a secure and resilient energy supply ...3 days ago
- Pay Gap Calculator toolkit launched
New Zealand businesses can now take meaningful action to drive down the gender pay gap with the launch of an online calculator today, Minister for Women Nicola Grigg says. “Women are paid, on average, 8.2 per cent less than men and this gap has barely moved since 2017 - which ...3 days ago
- Government launches refreshed Public Private Partnership framework
The Government has released a refreshed Public Private Partnership (PPP) framework that provides a blueprint to the market outlining how the government will approach future PPP transactions, Infrastructure Minister Chris Bishop and Parliamentary Under-Secretary Simon Court say. “Refreshing New Zealand’s PPP model is an important part of our plan to ...3 days ago
- Further decisions taken on regulating online casino gambling
Internal Affairs Minister Brooke van Velden says the Government has agreed to further details of a new system to regulate online casino gambling. “A new Online Gambling Bill will be drafted with the purpose to regulate online casino gambling to facilitate a safer and compliant regulated online gambling market. More importantly, ...3 days ago
- Tailored support for people in emergency housing
Ka mate kāinga tahi, ka ora kāinga rua. An innovative Government trial will tailor support to people with a diverse range of complex needs to move out of emergency housing and into more permanent housing, Associate Housing Minister Tama Potaka says. “The Government has set a target of reducing the ...3 days ago
- Getting ready for bird flu
Biosecurity Minister Andrew Hoggard is encouraging New Zealanders to take steps to be ready for the possible arrival of bird flu.“While high pathogenicity avian influenza (HPAI) is still some distance from New Zealand and we’ve never had a case here, it’s important that we take a cautious approach. “If you’re one ...3 days ago
- Harbour closure supports mussel reseeding
A two-year ban on the take of kuku/mussels from Ōhiwa Harbour in eastern Bay of Plenty will support local efforts to restore mussel beds in the area, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. Te Rūnanga o Ngāti Awa requested the closure, Te rāhui kuku ki tua o Kanawa, to ...4 days ago
- Government awards primary sector scholarships to tertiary students
The coalition Government has awarded scholarships to six tertiary students as part of efforts to boost on-the-ground support for farmers and growers Agriculture Minister Todd McClay and Associate Agriculture Minister Andrew Hoggard announced today. “We are reducing the regulatory burden on farmers and growers and providing support to adapt and innovate, ...4 days ago
- Tax work programme focused on rebuilding the economy
Rebuilding the economy and improving fiscal sustainability is the key focus of the Government’s new Tax and Social Policy Work Programme for Inland Revenue, Revenue Minister Simon Watts says. “New Zealand has been grappling with significant economic challenges over the last few years with many businesses and households feeling the ...4 days ago
- Omnibus Bill First Reading for Royal Commission of Inquiry National Apology
Mr Speaker, as the Minister for Children, it is my priority to ensure that children and young people in the care system are safe. The thousands of survivors who shared their experiences with the Royal Commission have been clear that the system must improve its protections against abuse and neglect. ...4 days ago
- Clarifying the protection of disabled people in care
The Government is amending the Crimes Act to ensure the protection of disabled people in care is made more explicit, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. “As part of the Government’s response to the recommendations of the Abuse in Care Royal Commission, the word ‘disability’ is being added to the definition ...4 days ago
- Oranga Tamariki Act changes a step in the right direction
Changes to the Oranga Tamariki Act 1989 included in an Omnibus Bill are long overdue and a positive step in the right direction, Minister for Children Karen Chhour says. As part of the National Apology today, the Responding to Abuse in Care Legislation Amendment Bill had its first reading. “I am ...4 days ago
- Improvements to Government record-keeping in response to the Royal Commission of Inquiry into Abuse ...
Minister of Internal Affairs Brooke van Velden says the Government is making changes to the Public Records Act, to improve the record-keeping practices of government agencies. “These changes will allow the Chief Archivist to audit an agency more frequently where required and will also allow the Chief Archivist to work ...4 days ago
- Minister Peters completes successful visit to Chile
New Zealand and Chile have reaffirmed their strong partnership, including on security, trade, Antarctic issues, and people-to-people links, says Foreign Minister Winston Peters. “Chile is one of New Zealand’s closest and most like-minded partners in Latin America, and it is the gateway to the region for many New Zealanders,” Mr ...4 days ago
- ‘Foreign policy views from an Indo-Pacific neighbour’ – Speech on New Zealand fore...
Kia ora. Tēnā koutou katoa. And greetings from New Zealand. Thank you to Rector Devés and the University of Chile for hosting us today, and to Undersecretary de la Fuente and Professor López for the warm welcome and introductions. When a much younger person, walking on a bridge ...4 days ago
- Prime Minister apologises for abuse in care
Ngā kura mōrehu, Treasured survivors, kua ngaro, haere atu rā. those that have passed, farewell. Ngā kura mōrehu, Treasured survivors E whakawhaiti nei that have gathered here. Kei ngā rangatira To the esteemed leaders Tēnā koutou katoa. Greetings. I’d like to welcome you ...4 days ago
- Government apologises for abuse in care
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has apologised to all New Zealanders who were abused in the care of state and faith-based institutions. “This is a significant and sorrowful day in New Zealand,” Mr Luxon says. “Today, I am apologising on behalf of the Government to everyone who suffered abuse, harm and ...4 days ago
- Climate Change Minister to attend COP29 in Baku
Climate Change Minister Simon Watts will attend the 29th annual United Nations Climate Change Summit (COP29) in Baku, Azerbaijan, this week. “New Zealand is fully committed to meeting our climate targets and reducing the impacts of climate change. Every country has a role to play, and New Zealand will continue ...5 days ago
- Crown Observer appointed to Wellington City Council
Experienced local government practitioner Lindsay McKenzie has been appointed as a Crown Observer to Wellington City Council, Local Government Minister Simeon Brown says.“Wellington City Council is facing significant challenges in delivering services to its community, while balancing its debt and insurance obligations,” Mr Brown says.“The decision to appoint a Crown ...5 days ago
- Govt strengthens protection for people in state care
The Government is introducing several law changes to better protect people in state care, in response to the Royal Commission of Inquiry into Abuse in Care. “The magnitude of the abuse detailed by the Royal Commission of Inquiry was heartbreaking, and as a Government we will do everything in our ...5 days ago
- Prime Minister to attend APEC Leaders’ Meeting
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon departs for Peru this week to attend the annual APEC Economic Leaders’ Meeting from 15-16 November. “The APEC Summit is a key moment in the regional calendar. It’s an opportunity to meet with counterparts who are also grappling with cost-of-living challenges and choices about driving more ...5 days ago
- First kina barren special permit approved
New rules allowing local communities to take direct action against kina barrens are starting to bear fruit, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. “I’ve made kina barrens a priority, which is why I introduced a new special permit purpose this year to allow the removal and translocation of kina ...5 days ago
- Faster 110km/h speed limit to accelerate Kāpiti from 13 November
The new 110km/h speed limit on the Kāpiti Expressway Road of National Significance (RoNS) will come into effect on 13 November 2024, more than two weeks earlier than expected, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says.“Boosting economic growth and productivity is a priority for the Government. The new 110km/h speed limit will ...6 days ago
- Largest ever number of graduate vets to boost rural productivity and support farmers
Thirty-five graduate vets will join rural communities this year through the Voluntary Bonding Scheme (VBS) for Veterinarians, marking the largest intake in the scheme’s history, Agriculture Minister Todd McClay, and Associate Agriculture Minister Andrew Hoggard, announced today. “The Government is committed to enhancing primary sector productivity and delivering direct benefits ...6 days ago
- Stalking to become illegal and jailable offence
The Government has agreed to introduce legislation this year that will make stalking illegal with a maximum penalty of up to five years in prison, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. “Every New Zealander deserves to feel safe in their community and this Government is committed to making sure victims are ...6 days ago
- Nationally significant sites to be upgraded
Me mihi ngakaunui ki a Tā Robert Gillies e ngaro nei ki tōna nui o Te Rua Tekau Mā Waru. Farewell to Sir Robert Gillies of the 28th (Māori) Battalion. The Government will provide $20.3 million in funding to improve two sites that have a special place in the hearts ...6 days ago
- Unions shouldn’t get in the way of student learning
The Government is urging the Post Primary Teachers’ Association (PPTA) to put the education of their students first. “Between 9am and 3pm, parents expect their children to be at school to learn. Our Government is relentlessly focused on ensuring the value of achievement and attendance are at the centre of ...1 week ago
- Plea to bar Prabowo from UK as Indonesian security forces crack down on Papuan rally
Asia Pacific Report A West Papuan advocacy group for self-determination for the colonised Melanesians has appealed to the United Kingdom government to cancel its planned reception for new Indonesian President Prabowo Subianto. “Prabowo is a blood-stained war criminal who is complicit in genocide in East Timor and West Papua,” claimed an ...1 hour ago - Treaty Principles Bill haka: MPs must uphold standards of Parliament, Luxon says
Treaty issues are "emotional and difficult", but New Zealanders expect a certain level of behaviour in Parliament, the PM says. ...3 hours ago - China plays for power as Luxon manages differences
China is not generally known for its understated approach to diplomacy, but even by its usual standards, the country’s presence at this year’s Apec summit has been unavoidable.Large groups of supporters bearing miniature flags and banners of support have taken up residence outside the hotel accommodating Chinese president Xi Jinping ...3 hours ago - New Zealand inks ‘sustainable’ trade deal with Switzerland, Costa Rica and Iceland
The signed agreement will remove tariffs on hundreds of sustainable goods and services. ...6 hours ago
- In photos: Hīkoi mō Te Tiriti so far, as the march gains momentum
From the mist-covered peaks of Te Rerenga Wairua to the plumes of geothermal steam in Rotorua, here are the key moments to date. ...9 hours ago
- Meeting with Seymour ‘pointless’, say protest hīkoi organisers
RNZ News Thousands of people have joined the national hīkoi opposing the Treaty Principles Bill as it progresses south, with supporters lining State Highway 10 as it passes through Kerikeri en route to Kawakawa. Leaders of a hīkoi against David Seymour’s Treaty Principles Bill have rejected the ACT party leader’s ...9 hours ago
- Watch: Christopher Luxon meets with China’s Xi Jinping
The Prime Minister has met China's leader on the sidelines of the APEC Summit. ...9 hours ago
- Will Trump renew ‘maximum pressure’ against Iran – or could there be an opening for dialogue?
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Ali Mamouri, Research Fellow, Middle East Studies, Deakin University With Donald Trump returning to the White House, the relationship between the US and Iran could change significantly. Trump’s unconventional foreign policy led to a period of heightened confrontation with Iran during ...10 hours ago
- Watch live: Christopher Luxon meets with China’s Xi Jinping
The Prime Minister has met China's leader on the sidelines of the APEC Summit. ...10 hours ago
- NZ’s Treaty Principles Bill ‘inviting civil war’, says former PM Shipley
RNZ News A former New Zealand prime minister, Dame Jenny Shipley, has warned the ACT Party is “inviting civil war” with its attempt to define the principles of the 1840 Te Tiriti o Waitangi in law. The party’s controversial Treaty Principles Bill passed its first reading in Parliament on Thursday, ...10 hours ago
- Brian Tamaki convoy causes traffic woes in Auckland
There are long traffic delays on SH1 in Auckland as a convoy led by the Destiny Church leader makes its way from Mercer to the Domain. ...10 hours ago
- Counter-protesters set up as Brian Tamaki convoy looks set to cause traffic woes
Traffic disruptions are expected for motorists heading into Auckland on the Southern Motorway ...11 hours ago
- Thousands gather as Treaty Principles Bill hīkoi passes through Hastings in rain
As the march gets closer to Parliament, organisers are encouraging participants to make sure they are enrolled to vote. ...11 hours ago
- Christopher Luxon meets with China’s Xi Jinping
The Prime Minister has been warmly welcomed by China's leader. ...11 hours ago
- Crowd builds as Treaty Principles Bill hīkoi passes through Hastings in rain
As the march gets closer to Parliament, organisers are encouraging participants to make sure they are enrolled to vote. ...12 hours ago
- Christopher Luxon set for first face-to-face with China’s Xi Jinping
The prime minister will sit down for his first face-to-face chat with China's president on Saturday (NZT). Christopher Luxon arrived at the APEC Summit in Peru overnight. On arrival in ...12 hours ago
- Treaty Principles Bill ‘inviting civil war’, Jenny Shipley says
"I would fight against it. Māori have every reason to fight against it," the former prime minister says. ...13 hours ago
- Toitū te Tiriti hīkoi fits: Savage style for seasoned steezers
Māori don’t just hīkoi for change – we dress for it, too. One thing we don’t get enough credit for as Māori (aside a very long list of many other things) is our ability to dress for an occasion, be it a reunion, hui, tangi or hīkoi. You can trust ...13 hours ago - Congestion warning as Treaty Principles Bill hīkoi reaches Hastings
As the march gets closer to Parliament, police are telling drivers to expect delays. ...15 hours ago
- Dog of the month: Georgie, who would like The Spinoff to rank peanut butters
Get to know Georgie, our latest Dog of the Month. This feature was offered as a reward during our What’s Eating Aotearoa PledgeMe campaign. Thank you to Georgie’s human, Peter, for his support. Dog name: Georgie Age: 2 years, 10 months Breed: An absolute mutt. We think some Staffy, some ...16 hours ago
- The great lunch debate
Would you call fried chicken and chips at 10am ‘lunch’?“I try and keep as regular a schedule as I can, but that will translate a bit weirdly when I’m on shift work,” says reporter Finn Blackwell, who’s often found in RNZ’s breakroom well before noon, feasting on anything from a ...16 hours ago
- The Secret Diary of .. Sheriff Seymour
Monday Sheriff Seymour rode his white horse through the beautiful tree-lined streets of the wealthiest suburb in Dodge, and arrived at the mansion of one of the richest men in the whole state.He rang the doorbell. A servant led him to an oak-panelled room, and gestured for him to sit.He ...16 hours ago
- Crown apology: Three voices from NZ’s shameful recent past
Abuse survivor: It is time to deliver, Prime MinisterKeith Wiffin says the Government needs to commit to concrete timelines for redressWe’ve heard those words from the state before, and they are meaningless because they have not resulted in change or progress.We are called survivors, but firstly I would like to ...16 hours ago
- Of Treaties, Cabbages and Kings
During his speech to introduce the Treaty Principles Bill, David Seymour made a number of statements that are either disingenuous or ignorant. Early in his speech, he asked: ‘Where in the world is it a good idea to give different rights based on ancestry? Where in the world has that approach ...16 hours ago
- The case for COPs (even this one)
Every day this week, COP29 has managed to spark international headlines for all the wrong reasons.First, the eight hour agenda fight over what, actually, diplomats will spend time negotiating this year.Then on Tuesday the President of Azerbaijan, which is hosting COP29 in the capital Baku, called oil and gas a ...16 hours ago
- The Weekend: In defence of Auckland’s ‘incredibly’ expensive Christmas tree
Anna Rawhiti-Connell reflects on the week that was. This week I hosted The Spinoff’s Year In Review live event In Wellington. Everything went remarkably well, and you can attend the same (but maybe more refined) event in Auckland on December 11. The welcoming crowd in Wellington even wanted more of ...17 hours ago
- ‘Really worried’: What Now’s Chris Kirk on smuggling gunge out of New Zealand
The What Now and Brain Busters presenter takes us on a trip down TV memory lane. Growing up, Chris Kirk was a huge fan of What Now. Every Sunday morning, he would wake up early to watch Carolyn Taylor and Jason Fa’afoi entertain the nation, delighting in every chaotic, gunge-filled ...17 hours ago
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The Chthonic Cycle by Una Cruickshank is a compelling series of essays that explore a wide range of fascinating and unexpected subjects. This excerpt, from an essay called ‘Les Tigres’, tells the story of a massed hallucination event in 1951, France. On a hot August day in 1951, 280 people ...17 hours ago
- The slowest city in the world is on the brink of change
New Zealander Tasha Black relays what it’s like in post-revolution Bangladesh from an eight-hour traffic jam in Dhaka. It’s Friday night on the outskirts of Dhaka, Bangladesh, and the traffic is stuck. Trucks, auto-rickshaws, private cars, buses, all stuck. A stationary ambulance futilely spins its red and blue lights. It’s ...17 hours ago
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Indie-pop darling Heidi Simpson shares her perfect weekend playlist. Heidi Simpson is a singer, tune maker, pop music believer and certified cool girl. The Tāmaki Makaurau native typically muses on Saturday nights and the emptiness between waiting for something to happen, but her recently released single ‘Best Kept Secret’ is ...17 hours ago
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The Paddle Ferns are back on top of the world after winning the Canoe Polo World Championships for the second time in eight years.It’s a growing sport that combines kayaking and ball-handling skills in a contact team game, played either indoors or out, with five players a sideSeventeen countries competed ...17 hours ago
- Short story: I’ll ask my sister, by Marilyn Duckworth
A chatter of small brown birds rose up from the crippled tree at the street’s end. Muttering. She was reminded of the local Council who were still grumpily debating problems, including those of street verges. Some home owners had been taking it upon themselves to make cheeky personal use of ...17 hours ago
- NACC head Paul Brereton says resigning in the face of bad publicly would ‘undermine’ the commiss...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michelle Grattan, Professorial Fellow, University of Canberra The head of the National Anti-Corruption Commission. Paul Brereton, has rejected calls he resign after a finding of “officer misconduct”, declaring to do so would harm the NACC. In a spirited defence of his ...24 hours ago
- Ignoring ACT, targeting National: The lead-up to the Treaty bill
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- NZ’s Treaty Principles Bill haka highlights tensions between Māori tikanga and rules of Parliamen...
By Lillian Hanly, RNZ News political reporter, Craig McCulloch, RNZ deputy political editor, and Te Manu Korihi Te Pāti Māori’s extraordinary display of protest — interrupting the first vote on the Treaty Principles Bill — has highlighted the tension in Aotearoa New Zealand between Māori tikanga, or customs, and the ...1 day ago
- Call for expanded Local Democracy Reporting scheme as NZME plans to shut community papers
RNZ News A group representing local councils in Aotearoa New Zealand is calling for the Local Democracy Reporting programme to be expanded after the media company NZME announced a proposal to close 14 community newspapers. The LDR programme funds local authority coverage at various publications and is managed and funded ...1 day ago
- You don’t invest in conservation land ‘by flogging it off’, Forest and Bird says
The organisation is concerned a government proposal could lead to a sell-off of conservation land. ...1 day ago
- Hīkoi day five: 10,000 join as Treaty bill protest halts traffic in Rotorua
RNZ News An estimated 10,000 people have marched through Rotorua today as part of Hīkoi mō te Tiriti protesting against the controversial Treaty Principles Bill. Due to the size of the group, Fenton Street was blocked temporarily as the Hīkoi went through, police said. It is anticipated that this afternoon ...1 day ago
- Here’s what we’ll be telling COP29 about how climate change is harming young people’s mental h...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Cybele Dey, Conjoint lecturer & PhD candidate in Psychiatry, School of Medicine and Health, UNSW Sydney Vanatchanan/Shutterstock As government representatives gather at the COP29 international climate summit in Azerbaijan, the impact of climate change on young people’s mental health needs to ...1 day ago
The server will be getting hardware changes this evening starting at 10pm NZDT.
The site will be off line for some hours.
Proudly showing off national’s achievement in solving the housing crisis, Ta daa, a door. Elect us, and over the course of the next three years, we’re aspirational we might have a wall to go with it.
or
After the peoples republic seized power. ‘It is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known, as I walk in to the crushinator of destiny’.
lol 100+ The Allen
key:..and this armpit here..this is where i keep slater…
key hesitates at the doors of perception..
key:..’i told you my shit doesn’t stink’..
key throws a wobbly…
key throws slater to the wolves..
v.r.w.c. meet in a shipping container..
Come into my boudoir….
Chucker!.
‘
Superstar right-arm spinner John Key deliver’s another “flipper”.
Homeless man in container taunted with sausage by John Key
This way, Judith! Your transport is waiting for you.
Spot the garbage.
Key throws down another wrongun
“Im singing in the drain, just singing in the drain, what a glorious awning, im campaigning again
First ritchie, now judith in the bin t
And you stare at me
In your Jesus Christ pose
Arms held out
Like you’ve been carrying a load
And you swear to me
You don’t want to be my slave
But you’re staring at me
Like I need to be saved
In your Jesus Christ pose
Arms held out
In your Jesus Christ pose
Thorns and shroud
Like it’s the coming of the Lord
And I swear to you
That I would never feed you pain
But you’re staring at me
Like I’m driving the nails
In your Jesus Christ pose
And you stare at me
In your Jesus Christ pose
Arms held out like it’s
The coming of the Lord
And would it pay you more to walk on water
Than to wear a crown of thorns
It wouldn’t pain me more to bury you rich
Than to bury you poor
In your Jesus Christ pose
“Bennett ? ” The PM was asked
“yeah its like throwing sausage into a shipping container”
He replied
Two great quotes from Richie Benaud work well
“The key thing was to learn the value of economy with words and to never insult the viewer by telling them what they can already see.”
“Captaincy is 90 per cent luck and 10 per cent skill. But don’t try it without that 10 per cent.”
Welcome to my country. Please put all your money in the red bins.
Come here i have found Hagers latest cosigment of books!
key pirouettes into a metal-closet…
Key lets Crusher out
key feeds crusher..?
FIGJAM
Hey you guys, come over here quick and watch Crusher and Bennie mud wrestling for my office!
It’s not true that Judith Collins has me by the nuts. Look, I’ve got them right here in my hand.
@ Te Reo Putake:
Oh No ! This is my sausage ! She must have them after all !
Got em
Yes
Fuck off Key you are out
“Tosser spotted on election trail.”
Now that I’m known as numbnuts,these kept retracting any way.
New extradition plan, “Come here Kim, I’ve got a bratwurst for you, I’ll just leave it in here….”
Hello Nuwzlund! Come and see my sausage sizzle!
.
.
.
[Now or never!]
.
.
.
[Final clearance in 25 days…at the end of the day!]
Ah yes, this must the the airport exit door. Now, look here, my man, I’m exceptionally busy, and…
JOHN!!!! You forgot to pull the pin on that last one!!!!
“Wills, Kate, can I drag you away from this year’s State Barbecue to show you one of our Affordable Homes? It’s this way…”
“Tra-la la, la la-la. Tra-la la,la la-la. I hear nothing. Tra-la la…”
lol
key pretends to lean to the left..but really still hangs onto the right..
key:..’this is where i throw ministers i have fired/tired of..look..!..there’s anne tolley..!’
Ok first batch of illegals, poor, vulnerable,first home buyers,single mothers dispatched to Nauru……next 500 to be squeezed into container please….move to the back!
Gawd, that’s the problem when I do that right handed salute,,,,,,,my arm locks up…bugger
Ohhhhhhhh look poor people! Call Up the Bennet, Unmuzzle Her…….Unleash the Bennet!
Ok I will distract the press with my miming impression…..Collins, Bennet, stay in the dustbins and don’t come out till the election is over!
Nationals answer to the housing shortage in New Zealand…. One container per family!!!
Yis, I’ve had a good chew of this over the past 10 days, so now watch me chuck it away….
At the new national government policy of stone the poor,,,, Emperor Keys was unsure to give the thumbs up or perhaps the thumbs down? decisions decisions he thought.
Ok,,,,we need moreeeeeeeeeeeee people to get Pete Georges Ego out of that shipping container!
Keys pointed the way to Chinese delegation to buy the whole of the south island,,,after he put their poor into the shipping container.
As Labour had no access to SIS info on their opponents,,,Cunliffe and Goff resorted to hiding in bins to listen to Keys,,and hoped the red topped bin would not give game away.
Bloke at back portacom….Oh gawd fellas…….that fuck wit is back
Another porkie from the PM.
With new govt cutbacks to the New Zealand armed forces,,,,,,Keys proudly showed off the remaining military personnel left,,,,whilst he threw the new stealth hand grenade……..
Fella at back of in portacom…ok,,,I have enough of that poseur….fellas fill those bins with ice cold water and pour it over him..that way he might go away.
Rock, paper, scissors or more cuts?
Animal, vegetable, mineral or Bennet?
Body guard in shades behind keys….”Base code one, he’s shit himself again”
One two three………………….. plie..Pirouettes next week John!
Nothing to see here….move along move..We are just putting the stockpiles on that awkward book into the shipping container……..Now move along.
‘Those feral buggers in Christchurch are forever whinging about their housing problems. Send this lousy container to one of the scum. That will teach them!’
‘Meat is expensive, they say? Let them eat sausage! Look at me! And that will learn them!’
finally losing his cool after repeated questions about his role in ‘Dirty Politics’, key attempted to punch the nearest reporter
John throws another crumb of hope to the adoring masses waiting below with tumbrils and knitting.
Sailing away!
Metal door tries desperately to avoid the shame of being photographed with unhinged corporate raider.
LOL! Brilliant!
Disgraced outgoing PM John Key feeds his poor as mystery man lights his pants on fire.
And in other news: Does anyone know if One News is going to be releasing data from Vote Compass on average voter position relative to party position pre election? If the issue specific stuff they have released so far is anything to go by I think it might help some people wake up, have the confidence to vote on policy and help change the government.
Disclaimer: I know it is unlikely he would ever actually feed his poor.
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/rockbeyondbelief/2013/08/16/youre-supposed-to-actually-toss-the-grenade-away-from-yourself/
You’re Supposed to Actually Toss the Grenade Away from Yourself!
Ensure you are able to throw the grenade far enough away to not get yourself or some unintended target hurt…ya know like a victim whose name will more than likely be made public because there are no such protections in a libel suit.
Key throws bbq left overs to rabbid press!
to try and contain the bad news!
before the door shuts on his corrupt political career!
Just practicing my bowling action to be as good as that thicko, Batsh*t Beckham!
Emperor in New Clothes !
Throws away his barbequed beef because its not cooked in Whale oil!
John key proves to the press he has solved the problem of the homeless and starving in New Zealand by tossing in a piece of half eaten sausage he no longer wants to those people he has moved into a set of old rusty shipping containers rented to them by a family trust partly belonging to his wife and children.
xox
Hey you Guys! ( scummy media types)
” Ready for my Ascension to Planet Key photograph?”
xox
Don’t look back John, you’re being shadowed.
xox
Sausage in the Sea! Are you a total illiterate?
ALIEN ALERT: Key’s devilspawn trident tail revealed on camera for first time.
Hey Paula come and look, Judith’s swamp kauri coffins back from China.
Now I’ll just chuck in some tax cuts. Hey Bill, the policy containers still pretty empty.
I’m throwing bullshit to my followers, they love it. Plenty more to come o ye faithful.
There’s John Key standing at leg slip with his legs wide apart, waiting for a tickle…….
In response to the revelations about the links between the Right Wing Whale Oil blogsite and the National Party, John Key stands at the door of a well known centrist website and tries to throw mud at it.
Yes I think I think I have created a new CARGO CULT out of the NZ voter
They still believe my Trickledown bullshit is real
Smiling puppet obediently serves ruling class masters.