Caption Competition

114 comments on “Caption Competition ”

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1. Capn Insano 1

   24 April 2015 at 1:18 pm

   “You do *what* with a bath, custard and a diving costume with the bottom cut out?”
2. Puckish Rogue 2

   24 April 2015 at 1:22 pm

   “Guess what”
   “what?”
   “Nationals still 47% in the polls according to Roy Morgan”
   “No way!”
   “Way, oh and nice hair”

   🙂
   • swordfish 2.1

     24 April 2015 at 1:38 pm

     (1) 45.5%, not 47% (as you yourself acknowledged just a couple of hours ago here… http://thestandard.org.nz/open-mike-24042015/#comment-1004827 …how strange that you’d suddenly add a phantom 1.5 points).
     Lowest Nat support level in quite some time.

     (2) Roy Morgan concludes an election today would be “too close to call”.

     (3) Conducted, of course, before the latest bizarre scandal.

     Still, amusing to see you clutching at straws 🙂
     • Puckish Rogue 2.1.1

       24 April 2015 at 1:56 pm

       Sorry force of habit with National I guess 🙂

       “Guess what”
       “what?”
       “Labours dropped to 27.5% in the polls according to Roy Morgan”
       “No way!”
       “Way, oh and nice hair”

       🙂
   • ankerawshark 2.2

     24 April 2015 at 2:04 pm

     Pukish rogue………………Good god man! You still want National to be high in the polls when they are lead by a man with a pony tail fetish who just can’t keep it under control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What does this tell us about you?
     • Puckish Rogue 2.2.1

       24 April 2015 at 2:10 pm

       That i don’t judge someone with a mental illness as harshly as you? For shame ankerawshark for shame
       • ankerawshark 2.2.1.1

         24 April 2015 at 2:16 pm

         It depends on the mental illness. Psychopathy, anti social personality disorder, sexual disorder such as fetishism…………………..not so sure I judge them, just want to stay clear of them and I certainly don’t want someone running the country with one of the above!!!!!! Less judgemental of the above if they seek out treatment and try and contain their problem rather than inflicting it on others.
         • Brendon Harre 2.2.1.1.1

           26 April 2015 at 12:30 am

           People this is not a mental health issue -I am a psychiatric nurse.

           John Key was acting in a way consistent with being a dick, a dork, a kindergarten bully, an attention seeking teenager who lacks social skills to attract the opposite sex or someone who tries too hard for everybody to love him.

           Another possibility being John Key was pissed off and physically teased the waitress because she did not show him the ‘love’ that he expects. Maybe the waitress didn’t like John before the hair pulling had started, maybe she was professional to him while the other staff went along with his ‘horsing around’ and John wasn’t going to let her get away with that so started the pony tail pulling.

           Whatever it was, it was John Keys behaviour and he was responsible for it. There is no excuses, certainly not that John Key was mentally ill.
           • ankerawshark 2.2.1.1.1.1

             26 April 2015 at 12:54 pm

             Hi Brendon,

             I think you are spot on and this is one of the best analysis I have heard so far.

             Key is likely use to sycophantant behaviour and likely Amanda didn’t respond in this way to him, but kept it civil and professional. So she became a target for him “Iam going to make you love me” comes to mind…………….pathetic and sickening.

             JK is certainly responsible for his own behaviour as most people with a mental illness are (unless they are acutely psychotic).

             I do think this need of his to be “loved and admired” and not getting this bothered him enough to harass the waitress into compliance. Except, she wasn’t going to comply. Good on you Amanda
       • te reo putake 2.2.1.2

         24 April 2015 at 2:17 pm

         “That i don’t judge someone with a mental illness as harshly as you? ”

         An interesting acknowledgement there, PR. If someone as devoted to Team Blue as you is prepared to publicly claim the PM is mentally ill, howdya reckon the voters are seeing it?
         • Puckish Rogue 2.2.1.2.1

           24 April 2015 at 2:31 pm

           Well heres the latest poll from Roy Morgan:

           http://www.roymorgan.com/findings/6187-roy-morgan-new-zealand-voting-intention-april-2015-201504230106

           But seriously I think the rabid Key supports will cancel out the rabid Key haters and the rest of NZ that don’t really care won’t worry about it that much, like his comments on pink shirts or mincing down a cat walk
           • te reo putake 2.2.1.2.1.1

             24 April 2015 at 2:42 pm

             Well, I know I’ve said this before … but wait until the next one 😉 That RM reflects the country over the last couple of weeks, including a by-election bounce for Winnie. And it still has the opposition bloc in a strong position.

             I’m guessing the likes of Reid Research and Curia will be on the phones as we speak doing a round of unscheduled ‘preferred PM’ polling. That’s where the hit will be felt first.

             PS. I have a new slogan for Labour: Sure we’ve been pretty average, but at least we’re not weirdos.
             • Puckish Rogue …

               24 April 2015 at 2:59 pm

               Your slogan is really depressing for both sides, so well done 🙂
               • Lloyd …

                 24 April 2015 at 6:31 pm

                 Surely it should be “Labour is normal unlike those wierdos on the far right”
3. Clemgeopin 3

   24 April 2015 at 1:27 pm

   “ What a tantalising lock of hair you have, Katy! Deviant older men don’t pull it do they? No. That’s good. We don’t want that to happen, do we!”
4. joe90 4

   24 April 2015 at 1:30 pm

   Gimme head with hair
   Long beautiful hair
   Shining, gleaming,
   Streaming, flaxen, waxen

   Give me down to there hair
   Shoulder length or longer
   Here baby, there mama
   Everywhere daddy daddy
   • Puckish Rogue 4.1

     24 April 2015 at 1:58 pm

     🙂
   • Unicus 4.2

     24 April 2015 at 4:00 pm

     Walking along Mt Eden Rd a while back behind a group of middle aged guys going to a game at Eden park . Festooned with fashionably ” isis black ” flags – suddenly – and apparently oblivious of small children and old ladies also sharing the footpath one dropped his trackies and did a brown-eye for his mates following behind – enough to make a gynecologist puke.

     Oh the hilarity ! having not attended a rugby game since the National Party instigated civil war of 1981 Id forgotten what fun it must be to be out with the boys (sic) abandoned to the prerogatives of brainless mate-ship.

     So John think about what real men are doing next time you’r horsing around at Rosie’s drop those designer jeans – hey why not really test your popularity and choke a number on the magazine rack while you’re at it- you can always blame Bronagh !!
5. oarSum 5

   24 April 2015 at 1:33 pm

   What will two bottles of red wine get me?
   • ankerawshark 5.1

     24 April 2015 at 2:00 pm

     oarSum…………….brilliant!
6. BLiP 6

   24 April 2015 at 1:41 pm

   Oh, yeah, on the world stage I’m a real joker, love to relax and horse around, can’t be serious all the time, gotta have a laugh otherwise, well, you know, and ackshully do you know what? I once told everyone my wife looked like a Hobbit when standing next to Michelle Obama. Somehow neither Bronagh or Michelle thought that was hilarious, but everyone else cracked up. It was great. Almost as good as the cannibal joke I told about Maori, talk about shit-yourself-funny, it was EPIC. But enough about me. How are you? I love what you’re doing with your hair. Do you happen to know Liz Hurley at all?
   • greywarshark 6.1

     24 April 2015 at 2:40 pm

     lol
7. te reo putake 7

   24 April 2015 at 1:55 pm

   No, I don’t believe I’ve seen ‘Something about Mary’. Why do you ask?

   Guava, balsam and a little kiwifruit. Why do you ask?

   It’s woven out of possum, you say?
8. Pasupial 8

   24 April 2015 at 1:57 pm

   “Love the hair – give us a tug.”
9. rawshark-yeshe 9

   24 April 2015 at 2:00 pm

   I might be a party pooper. I don’t think this caption competition is appropriate especially in the current climate. Can’t articulate why just yet … but it seems to be minimalising the issues and making them seem ok ? Kind of like when somebody says ” I know it’s a bit racist, but this joke is really funny” and I ask them not to continue. Racism is never funny. And maybe this sexism shouldn’t be either.
   • felix 9.1

     24 April 2015 at 2:29 pm

     +1
   • BLiP 9.2

     24 April 2015 at 4:48 pm

     ‘

     Hmmm . . . pause for thought. Thank you, rawshark-yeshe.

     Reminder to Self: Just pause for a moment and have a wee think before jumping into a potential Dog Pile.
     • rawshark-yeshe 9.2.1

       24 April 2015 at 4:57 pm

       Thx Blip — and I promise no Dog Pile from me ! I thought your caption was very clever and funny, but then I realized none of it can be truly funny. Like racism. None of it ever can be. And I thought hard before posting .. Bailey and Billingsley and millions of unseen others made me do it.

       Reminder to self: try not to leave dog piles for others to step into.
   • Murray Rawshark 9.3

     25 April 2015 at 11:34 pm

     If you feel uncomfortable, I’d say that’s enough. You have good instincts.
10. swordfish 10

    24 April 2015 at 2:00 pm

    Key: “Come on, Girly, just give your Old Uncle John a quick thrill ! Oh come on, now, I just want to cop a quick feel !, where’s the harm in that ? I’ve got some sweeties in my pockets”
11. cogito 11

    24 April 2015 at 2:02 pm

    Kate: “Sleazebag”.
    Key: “That’s what they all say”.
12. ankerawshark 12

    24 April 2015 at 2:02 pm

    KEY: “I’d like to horse around with your pony”

    KATE: …………….the expression says it all
13. Clemgeopin 13

    24 April 2015 at 2:04 pm

    “Would your eyes pop out in shock if I confess I am not fond of brazilians?”
14. joe90 14

    24 April 2015 at 2:10 pm

    Come to me, my own, my love, myyy preccccccciiiouuuussss…..
15. te reo putake 15

    24 April 2015 at 2:12 pm

    Change the flag to a ponytail, you say? How very interesting.

    No, I will not get you a latte even if you do call me Princess!

    No, I hadn’t heard of that practice. And you say it’s called a Hoskings? Frightfully good!
16. marty mars 16

    24 April 2015 at 2:16 pm

    and even after she asked you to stop you kept touching her hair in a creepy abusive way – what the hell are you?
17. Potato 17

    24 April 2015 at 2:16 pm

    Kate’s thought bubble – “People in New Zealand actually vote for this guy?”
    • te reo putake 17.1

      24 April 2015 at 2:19 pm

      Or, thinks, “we’re stuck here with this schmuck for four more days?”
18. cogito 18

    24 April 2015 at 2:24 pm

    Kate: “galloping colonial clot”.
19. amirite 19

    24 April 2015 at 2:27 pm

    “Happy to see you Your Royal Highness, that’s a hair tie in my pocket,”
20. b waghorn 20

    24 April 2015 at 2:28 pm

    Get your hand off there!!
21. rod 21

    24 April 2015 at 2:30 pm

    Hi, if you like fun, banter, horsing around and hair pulling. I’m your man.
22. Stephanie Rodgers 22

    24 April 2015 at 2:45 pm

    Can’t say I’m in favour of this caption contest. Sure it’s all a bit of good fun but at it’s core it’s still joking about a serious, harmful form of harassment. And I suspect the bulk of people participating have never had to worry about people in their workplace casually treating them like sexual objects, and don’t appreciate what a viscerally unpleasant topic this is for many.
    • felix 22.1

      24 April 2015 at 2:56 pm

      Agree it’s minimising.
    • swordfish 22.2

      24 April 2015 at 4:34 pm

      Fair enough. Must admit I had a few qualms after posting my caption. Probably should have deleted. Don’t really want to make light of an unpleasant issue.
    • BLiP 22.3

      24 April 2015 at 5:17 pm

      ‘

      Hmmmm . . . rawshark-yeshe said the same sort of thing. I was wondering if it was just a bit too soon but, yeah, it is joking about sexual assault, victim blaming, workplace safety, human rights abuses, and a scantily clad operation across the MSM being run by John Key’s Dirty Politics Machine.

      Interesting dillemma, though. The worker is a hero and there is much cause for everyone to be grateful to her, even John Key. It is essential that this matter be treated seriously and the delivery of whatever justice the worker requires is prompt, fulsome and complete. But what about ensuring momentum? For what ever reason, this display of John Key’s character has had real cut through across the spectrum. This issue could do so much good for so long, especially it an eternal source for universally enjoyed mockery. Does this process have to result in a minimisation of the wider situation? How else can John Key mocked without reference to this crime?
      • rawshark-yeshe 22.3.1

        24 April 2015 at 5:27 pm

        Maybe it’s a little to do with power .. and I am still thinking deeply about this.

        For example only, if the competition had been for things we wish Amanda Bailey had been able to say or do to Key, would that be ok ? My first thought is yes, but am still working through why.

        And trying not to step in dog pile. And Blip .. I agree. It is vital we can keep oxygen flowing to all of this.
      • phillip ure 22.3.2

        24 April 2015 at 6:34 pm

        that is what is hurting key the most at the moment..

        ..that the world is essentially laughing at him..

        ..and the more fuel on that fire..the better…

        ..and i don’t think that doing this minimises the underlying issues..

        ..in any way..

        ..in fact this is just part of an unfolding theme of awareness (finally!) of how screwed over/abused the lowest-paid are..(c.f. widespread revulsion at zero hour contracts..)

        ..satire/piss-taking has long been an effective weapon against the powerful and corrupt..

        ..a tool to hold them to account..

        ..and calls to stop that satire/piss-taking chill the blood..
        • rawshark-yeshe 22.3.2.1

          24 April 2015 at 6:51 pm

          agree. but what if we are satirising the wrong target ? nowhere do i suggesxt not doing it.
        • Chooky 22.3.2.2

          25 April 2015 at 3:40 pm

          pu +100…”satire/piss-taking has long been an effective weapon against the powerful and corrupt”

          ….i dont think it is minimising the topic…more like role playing empathising…and exploring the permutations around it…far better than hiding it away…and laughter is good medicine

          …absolutely anyone can be subject to offensive innuendo, harassment, bullying, false accusations, sexual harassment, assault …even guys ….by other guys or by women in positions of power

          …and I am one who once was subject to sexual harassment in the workplace by a ‘boss’ who i considered and still consider dangerous , so I sure as hell don’t minimise it! …and I have nothing but admiration for Amanda Bailey for bringing it out into the light of day!
      • Clemgeopin 22.3.3

        24 April 2015 at 7:45 pm

        Amanda Bailey, the waitress, likened John Key’s behaviour to “school yard bullying” and said she felt powerless and humiliated.

        In the wake of the revelations, many prominent people and groups have weighed in, mostly in defence of Ms Bailey and ridiculing the Prime Minister.

        Political analyst Bryce Edwards told TV ONE’s Breakfast programme yesterday that Mr Key may struggle to recover from damages incurred by his ponytail tugging.

        “A lot of people will be laughing at John Key, that’s harder to recover from,” Mr Edwards said.

        link here,
        http://tvnz.co.nz/national-news/john-key-hopes-retain-happy-go-lucky-nature-in-wake-ponytail-saga-6299208 .
        • Chooky 22.3.3.1

          25 April 2015 at 3:46 pm

          Clem +100…”“A lot of people will be laughing at John Key, that’s harder to recover from,” Mr Edwards said.”
23. Sutton's li'l helper 23

    24 April 2015 at 2:51 pm

    “Ever been to a ‘princess party’ Kate”?
24. Stickler 24

    24 April 2015 at 2:54 pm

    Key meets Locks.
25. ianmac 25

    24 April 2015 at 2:54 pm

    “Kate. Umm. Kate. When you get your lovely smooth sensuous hair cut next time, can I have the cuttings to stroke in my hidden place? Please?”
26. phillip ure 26

    24 April 2015 at 3:05 pm

    key:..’would you like to come and see my little pony collection..?

    ..i’ll let you brush them’..
    • Chooky 26.1

      25 April 2015 at 3:53 pm

      Kate:…”i dont like grooming little ponies …or being groomed!…CREEP!”
27. phillip ure 27

    24 April 2015 at 3:09 pm

    key:..

    ‘can i ask what conditioner you use in your (gulp!) hair..?’
    • Chooky 27.1

      25 April 2015 at 3:55 pm

      Kate: “You should have been a hairdesser!”
28. phillip ure 28

    24 April 2015 at 3:11 pm

    key:..

    ‘would you like me to plait that for you..?’
    • Chooky 28.1

      25 April 2015 at 4:00 pm

      Kate: “No !…fuck off!…lay one pudgy finger on my hair and I will smite your head off with my special knighting sword”

      …” I am going to tell my Mother-in -law on you!…just you wait”
29. cogito 29

    24 April 2015 at 3:28 pm

    Key: “Well Kate, it’s pretty simple ackshually. You either let me have a feel or I’ll change the NZ flag…. And it’ll be bye bye royals…. HAHAHA”.
30. cogito 30

    24 April 2015 at 3:33 pm

    Kate: “Mr Keylusconi, I presume”.
    Key: “Bring on the punga punga party!”
31. Planet Earth 31

    24 April 2015 at 4:19 pm

    So it is just a bit of banter, right? just checking
32. Adrian 32

    24 April 2015 at 4:35 pm

    “Ooooh, thats a lovely HEAD of hair Queen Kate”
    “Touch it , and you’ll lose yours! “.

    I wish.
33. Clemgeopin 33

    24 April 2015 at 4:35 pm

    “Hey, Kate, would your eyes pop out if I were to tell you that I have had a vasectomy done on myself? “
34. sckiwireddevil 34

    24 April 2015 at 4:52 pm

    Key; ”I’m a cross-dresser, don’t you know”.
35. phillip ure 35

    24 April 2015 at 4:58 pm

    key:..

    ‘say sorry to yr mum-in-law..eh..?..for me pulling her hair when i was staying there..eh..?..’
36. Jiminy Cricket 36

    24 April 2015 at 5:58 pm

    Key sprouts blonde mullet
37. fender 37

    24 April 2015 at 6:18 pm

    “Yeah, I’m a pretty sick guy, so I’ll be emptying out the shower-trap before you board the airplane”
38. Tel 38

    24 April 2015 at 6:26 pm

    Kate never got the memo, “You might not want to invite him around to lunch.”
39. Chooky 39

    24 April 2015 at 6:44 pm

    Jeezuz what a good picture !…i can think of all sorts of things for the dialogue box….but I won’t say them!
    • Clemgeopin 39.1

      24 April 2015 at 8:02 pm

      I am wondering what was it that Key REALLY said to her that made her eyes pop out like that !
      • Chooky 39.1.1

        25 April 2015 at 10:25 am

        yes and he looks so sleazy!
40. Walk Away 40

    24 April 2015 at 6:44 pm

    Kate: “Security if he touches my hair shoot him.”

    or

    Kate to Key: “Yes I am more important, powerful and richer than you but NO! I will not touch your hair your little creep.”

    or

    Key to self “Hair goes the knighthood.”

    or

    Kate: “Do that again and you will find out why we still have Trident”
41. Chooky 41

    24 April 2015 at 6:48 pm

    Message to John Key:

    “Ride your own pony!”

    ( someone said this was a joke doing the rounds in South Auckland)
42. Clemgeopin 42

    24 April 2015 at 7:59 pm

    ” Katy, Would your eyes pop out if I were to show a bit of happy-go-lucky horsing around with much jolly banter and do a quick hair-pulling prank on that irresistible lock of hair of yours? I don’t normally ask permission, but you are so special!”
43. Treetop 43

    24 April 2015 at 8:50 pm

    So your the new court jester John. I do not find you to be amusing at all.
44. fender 44

    24 April 2015 at 9:25 pm

    “Some people think my wife’s a greenie cos I won’t let her shave her legs”
45. Incognito 45

    24 April 2015 at 9:35 pm

    “I bet you’d be a lovely Lady Godiva”
46. Clemgeopin 46

    25 April 2015 at 12:01 am

    ” I am looking forward to my visit to Turkey, princes. A penny for your guess!”

    http://liberation.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451d75d69e201bb0822093f970d-800wi
47. linda 47

    25 April 2015 at 8:57 am

    creepykey to, ” rapunzel rapunzel may i pull your hair”
48. david 48

    25 April 2015 at 11:32 am

    My next goal is to pull the ponytail of a Royal. How about it Kate?
49. david 49

    25 April 2015 at 11:35 am

    JK looks like he has his own grey ponytail!
    • Chooky 49.1

      25 April 2015 at 5:49 pm

      yes…does this mean he is wearing a wig toupee hair piece?…because the fringe at the neck is not the same colour as the top mat!

      …maybe Winston should challenge him and Peter Dunne to a duel …a wig pulling contest to see whose hair is really really real

      ….I reckon Winston’s is real and Peter Dunne’s is real ….but I suspect that Jonkey’s wig would go flying
50. Alpha z 50

    25 April 2015 at 12:08 pm

    dont b afraid of me the big bad wolf. only want to put finger in yur luvrly hair

    ~ nah, fok off kreep!
51. Joy Clark 51

    25 April 2015 at 1:30 pm

    “May I pull your…. finger your Royal Highness….? I have been advised to change tack somewhat aye…..”
52. Neil 52

    25 April 2015 at 3:33 pm

    You want to do WHAT???
    I somehow think your wife & my husband would be utterly disgusted.
53. Clemgeopin 53

    25 April 2015 at 4:14 pm

    “Hey, Kate, would your eyes pop out if I were to tell you that my wife refers to herself as ‘Stud-Screwer’?….Oops! your eyes did pop out!, ha,ha! What a lot of fun and banter I am having!”

    [ John Key tells UN ambassadors about how Bronagh filed a tax-return with stud-screwer as her occupation!
    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11436771 ]
54. Clemgeopin 54

    25 April 2015 at 5:00 pm

    Kate : In UK we love to go hare hunting.
    J Key : In NZ, I do too and I’m the top dog!
    Kate : (Confused and eyes pop out) What!?
55. rod 55

    25 April 2015 at 5:21 pm

    Hello I’m John Key, It must be a great thrill for you to meet me.
56. The Real Matthew 56

    25 April 2015 at 5:23 pm

    Kate: So the major opposition party in your country is led by someone who came 3rd in a caucus vote?
57. Chooky 57

    25 April 2015 at 5:38 pm

    Kate: “You should join a pony club…on second thoughts maybe not!”
58. weka 58

    25 April 2015 at 7:17 pm

    Thanks Stephanie and yeshe, I also feel uncomfortable about this post and thread.
59. Alpha z 59

    25 April 2015 at 8:23 pm

    prinsuss, i got 2 films for u to see. ull luv them. hot hot as!

    ~ https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Key+pony+tail
    ~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6WUYzLaEOo&feature=player_detailpage

    [lprent: despite the tone. This is not spam. ]
60. SMILIN 60

    25 April 2015 at 10:36 pm

    “You want to do what? Im a married woman “
61. cogito 61

    25 April 2015 at 11:25 pm

    Kate: do you support the TPP?
    Key: but of course, Kate. Not only do I support it, I am it – The Ponytail Puller.
62. Murray Rawshark 62

    25 April 2015 at 11:45 pm

    This is also not my favourite post of all time. I’m not 100% sure why, but possibly because the power differential at the heart of Key’s assault on Amanda Bailey is not present in this picture.
    • te reo putake 62.1

      26 April 2015 at 8:49 am

      I’ve been thinking about it a bit, too, Murray. For me, I agree the photo does ignore Amanda Bailey, but that’s because it’s focussing on the fallout, not the incident. It’s looking at an aspect of what this means for Key, which is international humiliation.

      This is a guy who makes a big deal about how he’s BFF’s with world leaders and royalty. But I’m betting if he ever gets to play golf with Barack Obama again, the Secret Service will be watching him like a hawk if the Obama girls are within stroking distance. Key’s forever going to be that weird guy from New Zealand; the Perve Minister, The Prime Molester etc.
    • Chooky 62.2

      26 April 2015 at 10:22 am

      as i see it this post is all about taking the mickey out of John Key

      …it is John key who should be feeling uncomfortable because he looks like an inappropriate creep around woman…looks like even female royalty are astounded and have their doubts about him!

      … if anything all the comments here are supporting the heroic stand of Amanda Bailey against Jonkey’s abuse of power and creepy behaviour

      …most unbecoming of New Zealand’s Prime Minister!…or any Prime Minister in the civilised world….
63. cogito 63

    26 April 2015 at 12:42 am

    Kate: Her Majesty has been informed of your proclivities, Mr Key.
    Key: Well, Kate I am honoured. So far I’ve only done it with a waitress and a couple of kids, but doing it with Her Majesty… well, that has been my dream ever since I was small boy growing up in a little state house in Christchurch with my Austrian mother working three jobs….
64. alwyn 64

    26 April 2015 at 9:56 am

    Kate. What ever happened to that peculiar man Cunliffe we were forced to be polite to last year?
    Key. He got a bit carried away with his fantasies. His peccadillos were like those of your husband’s uncle, Prince Andrew. At least David’s wife came to her senses and dumped him.
    Kate. Really. I thought he was a creep but I didn’t realise he was that bad.
    • Chooky 64.1

      26 April 2015 at 10:25 am

      @alwyn…obviously this post is getting to you because you are trying to undermine David Cunliffe….no one is fooled
      • alwyn 64.1.1

        26 April 2015 at 2:20 pm

        Me, undermining David Cunliffe?
        I thought he did a pretty good job of that himself without any help from anyone else.
        Did you see the way that the Labour Party poll support dropped steadily every month that he was the leader?
        Anyway, why bother. He is like last week’s newspaper. Good only for wrapping up the rubbish and dumping it into the bin.
    • Murray Rawshark 64.2

      26 April 2015 at 2:47 pm

      That’s just sick garbage. Andrew’s peccadillos are alleged to include sex with an underage woman. It’s not the Labour Party you should be looking at for that. Even so, the woman in question was a hell of a lot older than the victims of the prominent New Zealander.
65. cogito 65

    26 April 2015 at 11:56 am

    Kate: So do you think that your tactile fascination with hair is going to damage you politically , Mr Key?

    Key: On the contrary, Kate. My fascination with hair is even shared by my political opponents, who are bringing in an attractive ex-hairdresser as their new MP. Hair politics could well determine the future look of the NZ government.
66. burt 66

    26 April 2015 at 1:10 pm

    I’ve got 2 bottles of wine, want to play Amy Winehands while I pull your hair ?
67. Clemgeopin 67

    26 April 2015 at 5:22 pm

    ” Kate, my dear! What nice eyes you have! Will those by chance pop out if I were to tell you that I am so popular down here that I can aukshully get away with anything, anything at all!…For instance, I can tug on your lock of hair many many times and carry on without a care in the world again and again, even after you tell me to stop, because, I am Rt. Honourable Mr Key and I am very popular here and everywhere! I have carefully worked people around to think that I am an easy going funny guy full of bucks and banter! And oh, if I do get caught out, no worries! All I have to do is give you a bunch of my bottles of red wine, say ‘Oh, sorry, so very sorry, didn’t realise’ and just move on! Yep, all will be kosher! No drama. Cool ye, princess?”
68. Anon E Mouse 68

    27 April 2015 at 7:47 pm

    If you pull my hair again I’m going to swat you
69. Donald Rutherford 69

    28 April 2015 at 11:13 pm

    “Akshully Im really just another wineo but I left my raincoat at the cafe “
70. e-clectic 70

    29 April 2015 at 6:54 pm

    I do a great version of the Jaws theme song, wanna hear it?
71. e-clectic 71

    29 April 2015 at 6:56 pm

    Say, how about you hop on my lap and we talk about the first thing that pops up – don’t worry it won’t be a long conversation.
72. e-clectic 72

    29 April 2015 at 6:58 pm

    Lucky that glistening mane of yours isn’t in a ponytail or I’d be all over you like impetigo.
73. Clemgeopin 73

    29 April 2015 at 8:16 pm

    “Katy, my dear, I am just looking at your tantalising hair! And such pretty big eyes too! Will those pop out even bigger if I were to casually tell you that we too have big eyes, FIVE big eyes, in fact!”

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