Caption Competition
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3:25 pm, August 7th, 2009 - 35 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour, john key -
Tags: clueless
35 comments on “Caption Competition ”
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The economy shrank 1% this quarter and New Zealand has tumbled into the depths of a recession of Nicola Willisâ making. ...4 days ago
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Working people are going backwards while company directors are being given huge pay hikes. ...5 days ago
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A Bill to modernise the role of Justices of the Peace (JP), ensuring they remain active in their communities and connected with other JPs, has been put into the ballot. ...5 days ago
- Release: Labour will continue fight against destructive projects
Labour will continue to fight unsustainable and destructive projects that are able to leap-frog environment protection under Nationalâs Fast-track Approvals Bill. ...5 days ago
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The Green Party has warned that a Green Government will revoke the consents of companies who override environmental protections as part of Fast-Track legislation being passed today. ...6 days ago
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The Green Party says the Half Year Economic and Fiscal Update shows how the Government is failing to address the massive social and infrastructure deficits our country faces. ...6 days ago
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The Governmentâs latest move to reduce the earnings of migrant workers will not only hurt migrants but it will drive down the wages of Kiwi workers. ...6 days ago
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With more debt and a larger deficit, Nicola Willisâ reputation is in tatters after her failure to return the Governmentâs books to surplus. ...6 days ago
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For the second year running, the government has effectively cut wages for the lowest paid workers in New Zealand. ...6 days ago
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The Governmentâs announcement today of a 1.5 per cent increase to minimum wage is another blow for workers, with inflation projected to exceed the increase, meaning itâs a real terms pay reduction for many. ...6 days ago
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All the Government has achieved from its announcement today is to continue to push responsibility back on councils for its own lack of action to help bring down skyrocketing rates. ...6 days ago
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The Government has used its final post-Cabinet press conference of the year to punch down on local government without offering any credible solutions to the issues our councils are facing.   ...7 days ago
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The Government has failed to keep its promise to âsuper chargeâ the EV network, delivering just 292 chargers - less than half of the 670 chargers needed to meet its target. ...7 days ago
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The Green Party is calling for the Government to stop subsidising the largest user of the countryâs gas supplies, Methanex, following a report highlighting the multi-nationalâs disproportionate influence on energy prices in Aotearoa. ...7 days ago
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The Green Party is appalled with the Governmentâs new child poverty targets that are based on a new âpersistent povertyâ measure that could be met even with an increase in child poverty. ...1 week ago
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New independent analysis has revealed that the Governmentâs Emissions Reduction Plan (ERP) will reduce emissions by a measly 1 per cent by 2030, failing to set us up for the future and meeting upcoming targets.  ...1 week ago
- Greens stand in solidarity with Whakaata MÄori on sad day
The loss of 27 kaimahi at Whakaata MÄori and the end of its daily news bulletin is a sad day for MÄori media and another step backwards for Te Tiriti o Waitangi justice. ...1 week ago
- Sanctions regime to create more hardship for families
Yesterday the Government passed cruel legislation through first reading to establish a new beneficiary sanction regime that will ultimately mean more households cannot afford the basic essentials. ...1 week ago
- Govt gifts renters housing anxiety for Christmas
Today's passing of the Government's Residential Tenancies Amendment Billâwhich allows landlords to end tenancies with no reasonâignores the voice of the people and leaves renters in limbo ahead of the festive season. ...1 week ago
- Release: National Party urged to support modern slavery legislation
Labour is urging the Prime Minister to walk the talk and support legislation combating modern slavery. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Labour has lost confidence in the Speaker
The Speaker of the New Zealand Parliament made an unprecedented decision on the government amendment to the Fast Track Approvals Bill last night. ...2 weeks ago
- One year on, still no progress on new ferries
Todayâs announcement from the Government on its plan for new ferries throws more uncertainty on the future of the countryâs rail network. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Nicola Willisâ smaller ferries will cost more
After wasting a year, Nicola Willis has delivered a worse deal for the Cook Strait ferries that will end up being more expensive and take longer to arrive. ...2 weeks ago
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Green Party co-leader Chlöe Swarbrick has today launched a Memberâs Bill to sanction Israel for its unlawful presence in the Occupied Palestinian Territory, as the All Out For Gaza rally reaches Parliament. ...2 weeks ago
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The Government has done the right thing in moving to ban greyhound racing. ...2 weeks ago
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In response to a new report from ERO, the Government has acknowledged the urgent need for consistency across the curriculum for Relationship and Sexuality Education (RSE) in schools. ...2 weeks ago
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The Green Party is appalled at the Government introducing legislation that will make it easier to penalise workers fighting for better pay and conditions. ...2 weeks ago
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The Governmentâs Offshore Renewable Energy Bill to create a new regulatory regime that will enable firms to construct offshore wind generation has passed its first reading in Parliament, Energy Minister Simeon Brown says.âNew Zealand currently does not have a regulatory regime for offshore renewable energy as the previous government failed ...5 days ago
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- Newsroom daily quiz, Monday 23 December
Loading…(function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){var ql=document.querySelectorAll('A[data-quiz],DIV[data-quiz]'); if(ql){if(ql.length){for(var k=0;k<ql.length;k++){ql[k].id='quiz-embed-'+k;ql[k].href="javascript:var i=document.getElementById('quiz-embed-"+k+"');try{qz.startQuiz(i)}catch(e){i.start=1;i.style.cursor='wait';i.style.opacity='0.5'};void(0);"}}};i['QP']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){(i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o),m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m)})(window,document,'script','https://take.quiz-maker.com/3012/CDN/quiz-embed-v1.js','qp');Got a good quiz question? Send Newsroom your questions.The post Newsroom daily quiz, Monday 23 December appeared first on Newsroom. ...55 minutes ago - Govt walks away from infrastructure alliance
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- Daily crossword, Monday 23 December
.wp-block-newspack-blocks-homepage-articles article .entry-title { font-size: 1.2em; } .wp-block-newspack-blocks-homepage-articles .entry-meta { display: flex; flex-wrap: wrap; align-items: center; margin-top: 0.5em; } .wp-block-newspack-blocks-homepage-articles article .entry-meta { font-size: 0.8em; } .wp-block-newspack-blocks-homepage-articles article .avatar { height: 25px; width: 25px; } .wp-block-newspack-blocks-homepage-articles .post-thumbnail{ margin: 0; margin-bottom: 0.25em; } .wp-block-newspack-blocks-homepage-articles .post-thumbnail img { height: auto; width: 100%; ...55 minutes ago
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Here’s my impersonation of a train whistle…
“No-one has seen Phil Goff for days and we’re all getting very concerned, so I’ve just initiated a nationwide police search to find him, and if he is watching this please Phil call someone to let them know you are OK”
ooooooerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
“Wait a minute. One at a time. I have a different answer for different audiences.”
“We pay Bill how much a week for him to live in his own house?”
“Oh, Chris Carter thinks he is going to get away with $80K travel does he?”
“Listen hear you lot – we know where you live, who you live with, where your kids go to school, your criminal records, your health problems, your income tax details for the last 10 years, and the phone numbers of your company’s the ten biggest advertisers are on my speed dial. Understood?”
Can’t touch this (x2)
Can’t touch this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)
My-my-my-my policies hits me so hard makes me say oh my Lord
Thank you for blessing me with a mind to rhyme and two hyped feet
It feels good when you know you’re down
A super-rich homeboy from Auckland
And I’m known as such
And this is a beat uh u can’t touch
I told you homeboy u can’t touch this
Yeah that’s how we’re livin’ and you know u can’t touch this
Look in my eyes man u can’t touch this
You know let me bust the funky lyrics u can’t touch this
Fresh new kicks and pants
You got it like that now you know you wanna chance
So move out of your seat
And get a fly girl and catch this beat
While it’s rollin’ hold on pump a little bit
And let me know it’s going on like that like that
Cold on a mission so pull on back
Let ’em know that you’re too much
And this is a beat uh u can’t touch
Yo I told you u can’t touch this
Why you standing there man u can’t touch this
Yo sound the bells parliament is in goof u can’t touch this
Give me a song or rhythm
Making ’em sweat that’s what I’m giving ’em
Now they know when you talk about the Key
You talk about a show that’s hyped and tight
Singers are sweatin’ so pass them a mic
Or a tape to learn what it’s gonna take
And now he’s gonna burn
The charts legit either work hard
Or you might as well quit
That’s word because you know
U can’t touch this (oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)
Break it down
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh) (x4)
Stop Key time
Go with the economy in a spin if you can’t move to this
Then you probably are dead
So wave your hands in the air
Bust throught the moves run your fingers through your hair
This is it for a winner
Dance to this and you’re gonna be a winner
Move slide your rump
Just for a minute let’s all do the bump
Bump bump bump yeah
U can’t touch this
Look man u can’t touch this
You’ll probably get hyped boy
‘Cause you know you can’t u can’t touch this
Ring the bell school’s back in break it down
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (x4)
Stop Key time
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)
(Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh)
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) u can’t touch this (x3)
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) break it down
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (x2)
Stop Key time
Every time you see me that Key’s just so hype
I’m dope on the floor and I’m magic on the mic
Now why would I ever stop doing this
With others makin’ records that just don’t hit
I toured around the world from Kaitaia to the West Coast
It’s Key go Key
mc Key yo Key and the rest can go and play
U can’t touch this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)
U can’t touch this (oh-oh oh-oh-oh)
Yeah u can’t touch this
I told you u can’t touch this (oh-oh oh-oh-oh)
Too hype can’t touch this
Get me outta here u can’t touch this
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
great stuff đ
“Ummmmmmmm. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.”
“Yeah we thought Garrett vs Cosgrove would make a great telethon event with Mallard vs Henare as the undercard, but Trevor’s got pissed off because he wants to be the main event and locked himself in the mens room. Bill said he could fill in but I told him that’s a definate no after his last piss poor showing at Fight for Life, and anyway Tau said fighting Bill would not be a good look and I agree with him. Tau reckons he could take Darren Hughes but I’ve yet to formally ask him but I have cautioned Tau to not be too cocky since I know redheads can be bloody unpredictable when they’re angry. Paula said she wants to give Annette a good smack in the chops and I said I’ll think about it. Anyway it’s all for a good cause and I’m gonna donate a ham.”
“Well goooooooooooolly!”
[You have to be of a certain age to get that].
Vidiot, that was awesome and also means I’ve got that song stuck in my head for the weekend.
“Following the success of similar methods in isolation units at mental hospitals, these pastel coloured Rhododendrons are our new initiative to quell the recent outbreak of Parliamentary violence with particular respect to Mr Garrett. These will be thrown by trained marksmen at Mr Garrett everytime he flares up, the pastel colouration having an almost instantaneous calming effect… We anticipate this to also create 250 jobs so it serves two purposes”
we’ve infiltrated Chris Carters website and rigged the poll so that all votes go our way and Labour lose in polls on their own websites
I have a dream! Ooooh yes!
‘Jobs worth Jobs worth It’s more than me jobs worth….”
Suggested by the anti-spam word, ‘Jobs”. Sweet sweet sweet inspiration.
I’m bored with this press conference.
I can outdo Obama. I’m going to get that fly with my mouth.
That should get me a globally viewed YouTube for the cv.
( and that is why he looks crosseyed and has his mouth wide open )
‘Now that Field has been found guilty, who of the opposition is next?”
A Herald photographer captures the moment when a journalist takes his editor’s instructions a little too literally. With typical style and grace, our handsome PM remained unfazed by the incident: “Look I’m pretty relaxed about this” he said later, “Guyon’s always been right behind my prostate check campaign for victims of the Clark years and I’m sure he was just adding his little thing. It’s not like him to slip up.”
You say they call me Goober?
Oi! Chris you @$%&, come back and finish your press conference..
Oh Chris, Oh Chris, why do you allow Pinko Pigs to fly away all the time?
Dipton Dipton He lives in Dipton I tell you!
Guys guys, look at me, this is my Bruno, I can do Bruno, guys, guys
Rorts? Rorts? Who’s rorting who? As a money speculator I should be able to recognise a rort shouldn’t I?
I tell you no one in my cabinet is rorting the taxpayer.
Look, I am the Decider, and as such entitlements of Ministers are for me to decide, and I can assure you that Bill English pays income tax at the same rate as all other Ministers.
‘Hey look – this is how I gave Rodney a blow job’
“and still I wonder if carter is the giver or the receiver and who cleans up the sheets afterwards.”
“All traveling perks for gay politicians should be removed”.
Now I have a really good idea, instead of people being paid by the state to do nothing why don’t they try getting a “job” so that they get some money for themselves.
[lprent: read the policy about trolls. I don’t tolerate lazy pricks who dump essentially the same comment across different threads. Learn to write your own opinions or don’t write anything at all (I’m happy to assist you in taking the second option). ]
im going to make all bloggers on The Standard Honorary National Party members as they do such a good job turning people to national
Thanks but no thanks. I really have problems accepting the dishonour that you offer. I could wind up like Paula Bennett, unable to distinguish between how she would like to be treated and how she treats others.
I….. I, have become, comfortably ambitious
I’ve called this press conference to announce that the government has just found an extra $12,000 to pay for the cycle way.
This is my best monkey noise; ooo ooo oo o
Thank you, but my spare bedroom is already full of old microphones