Caption Competition

35 comments on “Caption Competition ”

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1. bill brown 1

   7 August 2009 at 3:29 pm

   Here’s my impersonation of a train whistle…
2. Pat 2

   7 August 2009 at 3:30 pm

   “No-one has seen Phil Goff for days and we’re all getting very concerned, so I’ve just initiated a nationwide police search to find him, and if he is watching this please Phil call someone to let them know you are OK”
3. catty 3

   7 August 2009 at 3:34 pm

   ooooooerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
4. Deep Throat 4

   7 August 2009 at 3:41 pm

   “Wait a minute. One at a time. I have a different answer for different audiences.”
5. mickysavage 5

   7 August 2009 at 3:45 pm

   “We pay Bill how much a week for him to live in his own house?”
6. JustRight 6

   7 August 2009 at 3:48 pm

   “Oh, Chris Carter thinks he is going to get away with $80K travel does he?”
7. BLiP 7

   7 August 2009 at 3:49 pm

   “Listen hear you lot – we know where you live, who you live with, where your kids go to school, your criminal records, your health problems, your income tax details for the last 10 years, and the phone numbers of your company’s the ten biggest advertisers are on my speed dial. Understood?”
8. vidiot 8

   7 August 2009 at 3:51 pm

   Can’t touch this (x2)
   Can’t touch this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)

   My-my-my-my policies hits me so hard makes me say oh my Lord
   Thank you for blessing me with a mind to rhyme and two hyped feet
   It feels good when you know you’re down
   A super-rich homeboy from Auckland
   And I’m known as such
   And this is a beat uh u can’t touch

   I told you homeboy u can’t touch this
   Yeah that’s how we’re livin’ and you know u can’t touch this
   Look in my eyes man u can’t touch this
   You know let me bust the funky lyrics u can’t touch this

   Fresh new kicks and pants
   You got it like that now you know you wanna chance
   So move out of your seat
   And get a fly girl and catch this beat
   While it’s rollin’ hold on pump a little bit
   And let me know it’s going on like that like that
   Cold on a mission so pull on back
   Let ’em know that you’re too much
   And this is a beat uh u can’t touch

   Yo I told you u can’t touch this
   Why you standing there man u can’t touch this
   Yo sound the bells parliament is in goof u can’t touch this

   Give me a song or rhythm
   Making ’em sweat that’s what I’m giving ’em
   Now they know when you talk about the Key
   You talk about a show that’s hyped and tight
   Singers are sweatin’ so pass them a mic
   Or a tape to learn what it’s gonna take
   And now he’s gonna burn
   The charts legit either work hard
   Or you might as well quit

   That’s word because you know
   U can’t touch this (oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)
   Break it down
   (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh) (x4)
   Stop Key time

   Go with the economy in a spin if you can’t move to this
   Then you probably are dead
   So wave your hands in the air
   Bust throught the moves run your fingers through your hair
   This is it for a winner
   Dance to this and you’re gonna be a winner
   Move slide your rump
   Just for a minute let’s all do the bump
   Bump bump bump yeah

   U can’t touch this
   Look man u can’t touch this
   You’ll probably get hyped boy
   ‘Cause you know you can’t u can’t touch this
   Ring the bell school’s back in break it down
   (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (x4)
   Stop Key time
   (Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)
   (Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh)
   (Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) u can’t touch this (x3)
   (Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) break it down
   (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (x2)
   Stop Key time

   Every time you see me that Key’s just so hype
   I’m dope on the floor and I’m magic on the mic
   Now why would I ever stop doing this
   With others makin’ records that just don’t hit
   I toured around the world from Kaitaia to the West Coast
   It’s Key go Key
   mc Key yo Key and the rest can go and play

   U can’t touch this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)
   U can’t touch this (oh-oh oh-oh-oh)
   Yeah u can’t touch this
   I told you u can’t touch this (oh-oh oh-oh-oh)
   Too hype can’t touch this
   Get me outta here u can’t touch this
   (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
   • the sprout 8.1

     8 August 2009 at 4:23 pm

     great stuff 🙂
9. Deep Throat 9

   7 August 2009 at 3:53 pm

   “Ummmmmmmm. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.”
10. Pat 10

    7 August 2009 at 3:55 pm

    “Yeah we thought Garrett vs Cosgrove would make a great telethon event with Mallard vs Henare as the undercard, but Trevor’s got pissed off because he wants to be the main event and locked himself in the mens room. Bill said he could fill in but I told him that’s a definate no after his last piss poor showing at Fight for Life, and anyway Tau said fighting Bill would not be a good look and I agree with him. Tau reckons he could take Darren Hughes but I’ve yet to formally ask him but I have cautioned Tau to not be too cocky since I know redheads can be bloody unpredictable when they’re angry. Paula said she wants to give Annette a good smack in the chops and I said I’ll think about it. Anyway it’s all for a good cause and I’m gonna donate a ham.”
11. Rex Widerstrom 11

    7 August 2009 at 4:07 pm

    “Well goooooooooooolly!”

    [You have to be of a certain age to get that].
12. Kirbya 12

    7 August 2009 at 4:36 pm

    Vidiot, that was awesome and also means I’ve got that song stuck in my head for the weekend.
13. Chris G 13

    7 August 2009 at 4:36 pm

    “Following the success of similar methods in isolation units at mental hospitals, these pastel coloured Rhododendrons are our new initiative to quell the recent outbreak of Parliamentary violence with particular respect to Mr Garrett. These will be thrown by trained marksmen at Mr Garrett everytime he flares up, the pastel colouration having an almost instantaneous calming effect… We anticipate this to also create 250 jobs so it serves two purposes”
14. lukas 14

    7 August 2009 at 4:49 pm

    we’ve infiltrated Chris Carters website and rigged the poll so that all votes go our way and Labour lose in polls on their own websites
15. Ianmac 15

    7 August 2009 at 5:10 pm

    I have a dream! Ooooh yes!
16. Mac1 16

    7 August 2009 at 5:20 pm

    ‘Jobs worth Jobs worth It’s more than me jobs worth….”

    Suggested by the anti-spam word, ‘Jobs”. Sweet sweet sweet inspiration.
17. lprent 17

    7 August 2009 at 6:15 pm

    I’m bored with this press conference.

    I can outdo Obama. I’m going to get that fly with my mouth.

    That should get me a globally viewed YouTube for the cv.

    ( and that is why he looks crosseyed and has his mouth wide open )
18. Steve 18

    7 August 2009 at 6:15 pm

    ‘Now that Field has been found guilty, who of the opposition is next?”
19. ak 19

    7 August 2009 at 6:44 pm

    A Herald photographer captures the moment when a journalist takes his editor’s instructions a little too literally. With typical style and grace, our handsome PM remained unfazed by the incident: “Look I’m pretty relaxed about this” he said later, “Guyon’s always been right behind my prostate check campaign for victims of the Clark years and I’m sure he was just adding his little thing. It’s not like him to slip up.”
20. The Voice of Reason 20

    7 August 2009 at 7:00 pm

    You say they call me Goober?
21. mike 21

    7 August 2009 at 7:56 pm

    Oi! Chris you @$%&, come back and finish your press conference..
22. Sting 22

    7 August 2009 at 8:13 pm

    Oh Chris, Oh Chris, why do you allow Pinko Pigs to fly away all the time?
23. Craig Glen Eden 23

    7 August 2009 at 9:50 pm

    Dipton Dipton He lives in Dipton I tell you!
24. ConorJoe 24

    8 August 2009 at 8:20 am

    Guys guys, look at me, this is my Bruno, I can do Bruno, guys, guys
25. Irascible 25

    8 August 2009 at 9:11 am

    Rorts? Rorts? Who’s rorting who? As a money speculator I should be able to recognise a rort shouldn’t I?
    I tell you no one in my cabinet is rorting the taxpayer.
26. Ed 26

    8 August 2009 at 10:01 am

    Look, I am the Decider, and as such entitlements of Ministers are for me to decide, and I can assure you that Bill English pays income tax at the same rate as all other Ministers.
27. coolas 27

    8 August 2009 at 10:36 am

    ‘Hey look – this is how I gave Rodney a blow job’
28. brownsbayboy 28

    8 August 2009 at 12:56 pm

    “and still I wonder if carter is the giver or the receiver and who cleans up the sheets afterwards.”

    “All traveling perks for gay politicians should be removed”.

    Now I have a really good idea, instead of people being paid by the state to do nothing why don’t they try getting a “job” so that they get some money for themselves.

    [lprent: read the policy about trolls. I don’t tolerate lazy pricks who dump essentially the same comment across different threads. Learn to write your own opinions or don’t write anything at all (I’m happy to assist you in taking the second option). ]
29. Murray 29

    8 August 2009 at 1:01 pm

    im going to make all bloggers on The Standard Honorary National Party members as they do such a good job turning people to national
    • lprent 29.1

      8 August 2009 at 1:22 pm

      Thanks but no thanks. I really have problems accepting the dishonour that you offer. I could wind up like Paula Bennett, unable to distinguish between how she would like to be treated and how she treats others.
30. Sam Vilain 30

    8 August 2009 at 1:16 pm

    I….. I, have become, comfortably ambitious
31. George.com 31

    8 August 2009 at 11:50 pm

    I’ve called this press conference to announce that the government has just found an extra $12,000 to pay for the cycle way.
32. Nick 32

    9 August 2009 at 5:17 pm

    This is my best monkey noise; ooo ooo oo o
33. Rob Pendragon 33

    12 August 2009 at 8:32 am

    Thank you, but my spare bedroom is already full of old microphones

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