Caption Contest

42 comments on “Caption Contest ”

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1. pollywog 1

   31 October 2011 at 1:16 pm

   …and thats with a semi !!! You should see it in it’s full tumescent glory…No honest.
2. Rog Chapman 2

   31 October 2011 at 1:23 pm

   I don’t tell whoppers, only tell little ones!
3. Uturn 3

   31 October 2011 at 1:31 pm

   “…. I can show you exactly how we’ll benefit. I’m holding in my hands, now, what NZ stands to gain from asset sales.”
4. Newt 4

   31 October 2011 at 1:37 pm

   … and there will be *this* much free oil for Tauranga…

   Too soon? :S
5. McFlock 5

   31 October 2011 at 1:47 pm

   Everybody applauded as the emperor inflated his invisible balloon – none of the minimum wage actors in the room told him it was bullshit.
6. Anne 6

   31 October 2011 at 1:56 pm

   You should have seen the fuss over what colour tie I was to wear… I put on my aqua one – ya know, the one I wore for my TV thing on Friday – but they said it was too bright so I put on my blue one but they said it clashed with the blue background so I put on my other blue one and they said that one will have to do. Then they wouldn’t let me wear my greenstone suit cause they thought the green shiny bits might clash with my blue tie so I had to change into another one. Do ya like my hair cut? I had it done specially for today. Anyways I…
7. Craig 7

   31 October 2011 at 2:00 pm

   Key: As you can see, the brighter future is in my hands!
   Audience: There’s nothing there!
   Key: Sorry, that should have been ‘that’s the substance of my current party policies’…
   • Ianupnorth 7.1

     31 October 2011 at 2:37 pm

     Great work!
8. dan1 8

   31 October 2011 at 2:15 pm

   Pinocchio’s nose was this long. But with my background and Crosby Textor helping,…….who nose?!!
9. Ianupnorth 9

   31 October 2011 at 2:38 pm

   I kid you not, Paula Bennett’s calves are this wide – each one singularly!!
10. thejackal 10

    31 October 2011 at 2:49 pm

    Achtually I’m a Muppet… I’m reading a script and have absolutely no idea. The pays good though.
11. Hanswurst 11

    31 October 2011 at 2:50 pm

    “To me, Richie! To me!”
12. Irascible 12

    31 October 2011 at 2:53 pm

    As Pinnochio said to me, Don, sorry, John, “When I was a Donkey it was this big… but now I’m a marionette again it’s my nose I’m talking about.”
13. Treetop 13

    31 October 2011 at 3:23 pm

    Brain is engaged in bullshit.
    Mouth is engaged in dribble.
    Hands are engaged in compacting the size of the deficit.
14. Mig 21 14

    31 October 2011 at 3:45 pm

    Tales from the Crypt with your host Mr Personality
15. tornie 15

    31 October 2011 at 3:46 pm

    I agree with the commentator who said it was like an episode of “Six Feet Under”
16. One Anonymous Bloke 16

    31 October 2011 at 3:57 pm

    “…and when I’m telling lies, my eyes go down and to the left, like this.”
17. Bob 17

    31 October 2011 at 3:58 pm

    Anyone have a kitten ?
18. Adders 18

    31 October 2011 at 4:03 pm

    I wish I had balls the size of Phil’s.
19. randal 19

    31 October 2011 at 4:15 pm

    and then brash and slater and hooton and farrar all deserted so they could spend time filling in their job applications for the business round table.
20. The Voice of Reason 20

    31 October 2011 at 4:28 pm

    Whoops! I think I just let an election slip through my fingers …
    • the sprout 20.1

      31 October 2011 at 5:42 pm

      😆
21. RJL 21

    31 October 2011 at 4:58 pm

    “Help! These are somebody else’s hands. There is somebody standing behind me! I am not responsible for what these hands have done.”
22. mikesh 22

    31 October 2011 at 5:17 pm

    What an excellent start I’ve made to this campaign. Let’s all show our appreciation in the usual way.
23. vto 23

    31 October 2011 at 5:18 pm

    (in tune to that seventies born-again christian track…)

    …I’ve got the whooooole wooorrld in my hands…
24. KDV 24

    31 October 2011 at 6:28 pm

    A weak man out of his depth.
25. Bill 25

    31 October 2011 at 6:40 pm

    See this ball? Now watch me run!
26. Sean 26

    31 October 2011 at 7:02 pm

    “… and I avoided actually debating what we laughingly call National Party policies by this much…”
27. randal 27

    31 October 2011 at 9:41 pm

    thats two for me and none for you!
28. Tigger 28

    31 October 2011 at 9:44 pm

    These are my hands. I use them to make throat slitting gestures, to make offensive limp-wrist gestures when I walk the runway and to shuffle papers during leader debates.
29. PJ 29

    31 October 2011 at 10:25 pm

    “well, look, ackshully…look…it’s a dynamic environment”
30. Paul Campbell 30

    31 October 2011 at 10:32 pm

    When we sell it all I’ll get a block of gold this big
31. Armchair Critic 31

    31 October 2011 at 10:41 pm

    The joint that Don and I just smoked was this big. No, really….
    • KDV 31.1

      31 October 2011 at 10:47 pm

      I just smoked Don and he was this big
      • McFlock 31.1.1

        31 October 2011 at 10:54 pm

        I just smoked my wig through a bong this big
32. logie97 32

    31 October 2011 at 10:53 pm

    All those Mums-and-Dads investors. This is about how much in total you can expect. It will be the big boys who will get the lion’s share.
33. logie97 33

    31 October 2011 at 10:59 pm

    We used to say that government has no role in running a business. Thatsh not too popoolar. So firsh of all we are going to redush their holding to thish much. We will dress the sale up as funding for the fools’ hospitals and schools and things. But that is jush to get ush over the line… you remember what Bill said about shelling KiwiBank – “Not in the first term … well this is the same deceit.
34. logie97 34

    31 October 2011 at 11:27 pm

    Oops, I think may I have just upset my navy mates. Fellas, when I said, “Like a drunken sailor” I wasn’t referring to yous.
35. Dotty 35

    1 November 2011 at 6:28 pm

    National team knocked out in first round of TVNZ “Give us a Clue?” when incapable of communicating how many times he’s broken his promise
36. Hami Shearlie 36

    1 November 2011 at 10:08 pm

    Howdya like my brand spanking new cloak of gold – whaddya mean you can’t see anything?
37. fender 37

    1 November 2011 at 10:25 pm

    Keys comment after investigation corners him at the TAB: “I’m sorry NZ but I’ve got a gambling addiction and the 300 million a week has been lost, but don’t worry I’ll sell some assets and we’ll go back down the track”
38. Scotty 38

    2 November 2011 at 11:09 am

    “Guilty” your honour

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