Caption contest
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1:17 pm, June 9th, 2012 - 76 comments
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Before the captions, some serious analysis, because this new Nat promo photo really astounds me.I honestly don’t know what the Nats were thinking.
It might work if Key were a nationally-adored figure, a kindly uncle, who had delivered a golden age for the country (fat-arse watch symbolising prosperity) and was at the height of his popularity. But he hasn’t delivered a golden age. He’s six months past his peak and on the way down quickly. Increasingly, when we see him it’s defending the indefensible and arguing with the media.
Given that reality, it looks like some creepy dating site pic.
Key looks out of touch, saying ‘ ain’t everything grand?’, drawing the response, ‘maybe for you but not for us, and what the fuck was that about increasing class sizes?’. It’s hardly in keeping with the new ‘statesman’ iteration of Brand Key the Nats are trying to build.
Maybe his advisors are getting out of touch too.
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Today’s announcement from the Government on its plan for new ferries throws more uncertainty on the future of the country’s rail network. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Nicola Willis’ smaller ferries will cost more
After wasting a year, Nicola Willis has delivered a worse deal for the Cook Strait ferries that will end up being more expensive and take longer to arrive. ...2 weeks ago
- Bill to sanction unlawful occupation of Palestine
Green Party co-leader Chlöe Swarbrick has today launched a Member’s Bill to sanction Israel for its unlawful presence in the Occupied Palestinian Territory, as the All Out For Gaza rally reaches Parliament. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Labour fully supports greyhound racing ban
The Government has done the right thing in moving to ban greyhound racing. ...2 weeks ago
- Greyhound racing industry ban marks new era for animal welfare
After years of advocacy, the Green Party is very happy to hear the Government has listened to our collective voices and announced the closure of the greyhound racing industry, by 1 August 2026. ...2 weeks ago
- Rangatahi voices must be centred in Government’s Relationship and Sexuality Education refresh
In response to a new report from ERO, the Government has acknowledged the urgent need for consistency across the curriculum for Relationship and Sexuality Education (RSE) in schools. ...2 weeks ago
- Govt introduces archaic anti-worker legislation
The Green Party is appalled at the Government introducing legislation that will make it easier to penalise workers fighting for better pay and conditions. ...2 weeks ago
- Winston Peters – Kinleith Mill Speech
Thank you for the invitation to speak with you tonight on behalf of the political party I belong to - which is New Zealand First. As we have heard before this evening the Kinleith Mill is proposing to reduce operations by focusing on pulp and discontinuing “lossmaking paper production”. They say that they are currently consulting on the plan to permanently shut ...2 weeks ago - Swarbrick calls on Auckland Mayor to end delay of revival of St James Theatre
Auckland Central MP, Chlöe Swarbrick, has written to Mayor Wayne Brown requesting he stop the unnecessary delays on St James Theatre’s restoration. ...2 weeks ago
- He Ara Anamata: Greens launch Emissions Reduction Plan
Today, the Green Party of Aotearoa proudly unveils its new Emissions Reduction Plan–He Ara Anamata–a blueprint reimagining our collective future. ...2 weeks ago
- Internationally-trained doctors jump at chance to boost health workforce
Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says Health New Zealand will move swiftly to support dozens of internationally-trained doctors already in New Zealand on their journey to employment here, after a tripling of sought-after examination places. “The Medical Council has delivered great news for hardworking overseas doctors who want to contribute ...24 hours ago - PM appoints business leader to APEC Business Advisory Council
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has appointed Sarah Ottrey to the APEC Business Advisory Council (ABAC). “At my first APEC Summit in Lima, I experienced firsthand the role that ABAC plays in guaranteeing political leaders hear the voice of business,” Mr Luxon says. “New Zealand’s ABAC representatives are very well respected and ...3 days ago
- New intelligence oversight appointments
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has announced four appointments to New Zealand’s intelligence oversight functions. The Honourable Robert Dobson KC has been appointed Chief Commissioner of Intelligence Warrants, and the Honourable Brendan Brown KC has been appointed as a Commissioner of Intelligence Warrants. The appointments of Hon Robert Dobson and Hon ...3 days ago
- New housing developments able to progress more quickly
Improvements in the average time it takes to process survey and title applications means housing developments can progress more quickly, Minister for Land Information Chris Penk says. “The government is resolutely focused on improving the building and construction pipeline,” Mr Penk says. “Applications to issue titles and subdivide land are ...3 days ago
- Actions to speed up air travel delivering results
The Government’s measures to reduce airport wait times, and better transparency around flight disruptions is delivering encouraging early results for passengers ahead of the busy summer period, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. “Improving the efficiency of air travel is a priority for the Government to give passengers a smoother, more reliable ...3 days ago
- Ending contracted emergency housing in Rotorua
The Government today announced the intended closure of the Apollo Hotel as Contracted Emergency Housing (CEH) in Rotorua, Associate Housing Minister Tama Potaka says. This follows a 30 per cent reduction in the number of households in CEH in Rotorua since National came into Government. “Our focus is on ending CEH in the Whakarewarewa area starting ...3 days ago
- Vocational education and training decisions support return to regions
The Government will reshape vocational education and training to return decision making to regions and enable greater industry input into work-based learning Tertiary Education and Skills Minister, Penny Simmonds says. “The redesigned system will better meet the needs of learners, industry, and the economy. It includes re-establishing regional polytechnics that ...3 days ago
- Reducing the environmental impact of synthetic refrigerants
The Government is taking action to better manage synthetic refrigerants and reduce emissions caused by greenhouse gases found in heating and cooling products, Environment Minister Penny Simmonds says. “Regulations will be drafted to support a product stewardship scheme for synthetic refrigerants, Ms. Simmonds says. “Synthetic refrigerants are found in a ...3 days ago
- Ngāruawāhia section of Waikato Expressway back to 4 lanes for Christmas
People travelling on State Highway 1 north of Hamilton will be relieved that remedial works and safety improvements on the Ngāruawāhia section of the Waikato Expressway were finished today, with all lanes now open to traffic, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says.“I would like to acknowledge the patience of road users ...3 days ago
- Appointments to the ENZ board
Tertiary Education and Skills Minister, Penny Simmonds, has announced a new appointment to the board of Education New Zealand (ENZ). Dr Erik Lithander has been appointed as a new member of the ENZ board for a three-year term until 30 January 2028. “I would like to welcome Dr Erik Lithander to the ...4 days ago
- Government to celebrate Waitangi Day around NZ
The Government will have senior representatives at Waitangi Day events around the country, including at the Waitangi Treaty Grounds, but next year Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has chosen to take part in celebrations elsewhere. “It has always been my intention to celebrate Waitangi Day around the country with different ...4 days ago
- More gangs added to Gangs Act list
Two more criminal gangs will be subject to the raft of laws passed by the Coalition Government that give Police more powers to disrupt gang activity, and the intimidation they impose in our communities, Police Minister Mark Mitchell says. Following an Order passed by Cabinet, from 3 February 2025 the ...4 days ago
- Judicial appointment announced
Attorney-General Judith Collins today announced the appointment of Justice Christian Whata as a Judge of the Court of Appeal. Justice Whata’s appointment as a Judge of the Court of Appeal will take effect on 1 August 2025 and fill a vacancy created by the retirement of Hon Justice David Goddard on ...4 days ago
- GDP data highlights importance of growth
The latest economic figures highlight the importance of the steps the Government has taken to restore respect for taxpayers’ money and drive economic growth, Finance Minister Nicola Willis says. Data released today by Stats NZ shows Gross Domestic Product fell 1 per cent in the September quarter. “Treasury and most ...4 days ago
- Strengthening Free Speech in Universities
Tertiary Education and Skills Minister Penny Simmonds and Associate Minister of Education David Seymour today announced legislation changes to strengthen freedom of speech obligations on universities. “Freedom of speech is fundamental to the concept of academic freedom and there is concern that universities seem to be taking a more risk-averse ...4 days ago
- Launch of Emergency Cellular Priority Service
Police Minister, Mark Mitchell, and Internal Affairs Minister, Brooke van Velden, today launched a further Public Safety Network cellular service that alongside last year’s Cellular Roaming roll-out, puts globally-leading cellular communications capability into the hands of our emergency responders. The Public Safety Network’s new Cellular Priority service means Police, Wellington ...4 days ago
- Minister reopens Mangamuka Gorge
State Highway 1 through the Mangamuka Gorge has officially reopened today, providing a critical link for Northlanders and offering much-needed relief ahead of the busy summer period, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says.“The Mangamuka Gorge is a vital route for Northland, carrying around 1,300 vehicles per day and connecting the Far ...4 days ago
- Funding confirmed for second Ashburton Bridge
The Government has welcomed decisions by the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) and Ashburton District Council confirming funding to boost resilience in the Canterbury region, with construction on a second Ashburton Bridge expected to begin in 2026, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. “Delivering a second Ashburton Bridge to improve resilience and ...4 days ago
- Government boosts support for avian influenza response
The Government is backing the response into high pathogenic avian influenza (HPAI) in Otago, Biosecurity Minister Andrew Hoggard says. “Cabinet has approved new funding of $20 million to enable MPI to meet unbudgeted ongoing expenses associated with the H7N6 response including rigorous scientific testing of samples at the enhanced PC3 ...4 days ago
- Levelling the playing field for media advertising
Legislation that will repeal all advertising restrictions for broadcasters on Sundays and public holidays has passed through first reading in Parliament today, Media Minister Paul Goldsmith says. “As a growing share of audiences get their news and entertainment from streaming services, these restrictions have become increasingly redundant. New Zealand on ...5 days ago
- Inspector-General of Defence appointed
Today the House agreed to Brendan Horsley being appointed Inspector-General of Defence, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. “Mr Horsley’s experience will be invaluable in overseeing the establishment of the new office and its support networks. “He is currently Inspector-General of Intelligence and Security, having held that role since June 2020. ...5 days ago
- Fire and Emergency New Zealand final levy rates confirmed
Minister of Internal Affairs Brooke van Velden says the Government has agreed to the final regulations for the levy on insurance contracts that will fund Fire and Emergency New Zealand from July 2026. “Earlier this year the Government agreed to a 2.2 percent increase to the rate of levy. Fire ...5 days ago
- More AML relief on the way for Kiwi businesses
The Government is delivering regulatory relief for New Zealand businesses through changes to the Anti-Money Laundering and Countering Financing of Terrorism Act. “The Anti-Money Laundering and Countering Financing of Terrorism Amendment Bill, which was introduced today, is the second Bill – the other being the Statutes Amendment Bill - that ...5 days ago
- Hawke’s Bay Expressway moving at pace
Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed further progress on the Hawke’s Bay Expressway Road of National Significance (RoNS), with the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) Board approving funding for the detailed design of Stage 1, paving the way for main works construction to begin in late 2025.“The Government is moving at ...5 days ago
- Government seeks partnerships to plant trees on Crown-owned-land
The Government today released a request for information (RFI) to seeking interest in partnerships to plant trees on Crown-owned land with low farming and conservation value (excluding National Parks) Forestry Minister Todd McClay announced. “Planting trees on Crown-owned land will drive economic growth by creating more forestry jobs in our regions, providing more wood ...5 days ago
- Wide ranging legislation to make justice system more efficient
Court timeliness, access to justice, and improving the quality of existing regulation are the focus of a series of law changes introduced to Parliament today by Associate Minister of Justice Nicole McKee. The three Bills in the Regulatory Systems (Justice) Amendment Bill package each improve a different part of the ...5 days ago
- Diverse skills in community trust appointments
A total of 41 appointments and reappointments have been made to the 12 community trusts around New Zealand that serve their regions, Associate Finance Minister Shane Jones says. “These trusts, and the communities they serve from the Far North to the deep south, will benefit from the rich experience, knowledge, ...5 days ago
- Torture redress for survivors of the Lake Alice Unit
The Government has confirmed how it will provide redress to survivors who were tortured at the Lake Alice Psychiatric Hospital Child and Adolescent Unit (the Lake Alice Unit). “The Royal Commission of Inquiry into Abuse in Care found that many of the 362 children who went through the Lake Alice Unit between 1972 and ...5 days ago
- A busy year in the House
It has been a busy, productive year in the House as the coalition Government works hard to get New Zealand back on track, Leader of the House Chris Bishop says. “This Government promised to rebuild the economy, restore law and order and reduce the cost of living. Our record this ...5 days ago
- Consultation opens on working with engineered stone
“Accelerated silicosis is an emerging occupational disease caused by unsafe work such as engineered stone benchtops. I am running a standalone consultation on engineered stone to understand what the industry is currently doing to manage the risks, and whether further regulatory intervention is needed,” says Workplace Relations and Safety Minister ...5 days ago
- Greater reporting on Treaty settlement commitments
Mehemea he pai mō te tangata, mahia – if it’s good for the people, get on with it. Enhanced reporting on the public sector’s delivery of Treaty settlement commitments will help improve outcomes for Māori and all New Zealanders, Māori Crown Relations Minister Tama Potaka says. Compiled together for the ...5 days ago
- New appointments to the Charities Registration Board
Mr Roger Holmes Miller and Ms Tarita Hutchinson have been appointed to the Charities Registration Board, Community and Voluntary Sector Minister Louise Upston says. “I would like to welcome the new members joining the Charities Registration Board. “The appointment of Ms Hutchinson and Mr Miller will strengthen the Board’s capacity ...5 days ago
- Building consent processing times improve
More building consent and code compliance applications are being processed within the statutory timeframe since the Government required councils to submit quarterly data, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says. “In the midst of a housing shortage we need to look at every step of the build process for efficiencies ...5 days ago
- Faster access to support through Innovation Fund
Mental Health Minister Matt Doocey is proud to announce the first three recipients of the Government’s $10 million Mental Health and Addiction Community Sector Innovation Fund which will enable more Kiwis faster access to mental health and addiction support. “This fund is part of the Government’s commitment to investing in ...5 days ago
- New Zealand to assist Vanuatu on earthquake response
New Zealand is providing Vanuatu assistance following yesterday's devastating earthquake, Foreign Minister Winston Peters says. "Vanuatu is a member of our Pacific family and we are supporting it in this time of acute need," Mr Peters says. "Our thoughts are with the people of Vanuatu, and we will be ...5 days ago
- Government takes steps to reduce card fees for Kiwis
The Government welcomes the Commerce Commission’s plan to reduce card fees for Kiwis by an estimated $260 million a year, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly says.“The Government is relentlessly focused on reducing the cost of living, so Kiwis can keep more of their hard-earned income and live a ...5 days ago
- Review recommends ECE regulation shakeup
Regulation Minister David Seymour has welcomed the Early Childhood Education (ECE) regulatory review report, the first major report from the Ministry for Regulation. The report makes 15 recommendations to modernise and simplify regulations across ECE so services can get on with what they do best – providing safe, high-quality care ...5 days ago
- Offshore Renewable Energy Bill passes first reading
The Government‘s Offshore Renewable Energy Bill to create a new regulatory regime that will enable firms to construct offshore wind generation has passed its first reading in Parliament, Energy Minister Simeon Brown says.“New Zealand currently does not have a regulatory regime for offshore renewable energy as the previous government failed ...5 days ago
- Local Government (Water Services) Bill passes first reading
Legislation to enable new water service delivery models that will drive critical investment in infrastructure has passed its first reading in Parliament, marking a significant step towards the delivery of Local Water Done Well, Local Government Minister Simeon Brown and Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly say.“Councils and voters ...6 days ago
- Gene Technology Bill passes first reading
New Zealand is one step closer to reaping the benefits of gene technology with the passing of the first reading of the Gene Technology Bill, Science, Innovation and Technology Minister Judith Collins says. "This legislation will end New Zealand's near 30-year ban on gene technology outside the lab and is ...6 days ago
- From smaller homes to screen time, backyard cricket is facing challenges in modern Australia
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Kasey Symons, Lecturer of Communication, Sports Media, Deakin University We are well and truly in cricket season. The Australian men’s cricket team is taking centre stage against India in the Border Gavaskar Trophy series while the Big Bash League is underway, as ...1 hour ago - Hitting the beach? Here are some dangers to watch out for – plus 10 essentials for your first aid ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Andrew Woods, Lecturer, Nursing, Faculty of Health, Southern Cross University FTiare/Shutterstock Summer is here and for many that means going to the beach. You grab your swimmers, beach towel and sunscreen then maybe check the weather forecast. Did you think to ...1 hour ago
- You could be stress eating these holidays – or eating your way to stress. 5 tips for the table
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Saman Khalesi, Senior Lecturer and Discipline Lead in Nutrition, School of Health, Medical and Applied Sciences, CQUniversity Australia Dean Clarke/Shutterstock The holiday season can be a time of joy, celebration, and indulgence in delicious foods and meals. However, for many, it ...1 hour ago
- I was asked to come up with my top 5 Aussie films of 2024. It was a difficult task
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Ari Mattes, Lecturer in Communications and Media, University of Notre Dame Australia Late Night With The Devil. Maslow Entertainment Marketing is critical to the success of commercial films, and companies will often spend half as much again on top of the ...1 hour ago
- Interactive: What Earth’s 4.54 billion-year history would look like in a single year
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Francisco Jose Testa, Lecturer in Earth Sciences (Mineralogy, Petrology & Geochemistry), University of Tasmania The Conversation As a kid, it was tough for me to grasp the massive time scale of Earth’s history. Now, with nearly two decades of experience as ...1 hour ago
- Public service cuts: ‘Rough’ months ahead for those out of work
Laid-off public servants have been slogging it out on a months-long job hunt, and for some that will continue into 2025. ...3 hours ago - Māori ‘under siege’ in 2024, must fight back in 2025 – Ngarewa-Packer
Te Pāti Māori has had to adopt a new way of debating, operating and even thinking in Parliament in response to the Government’s “onslaught” against te ao Māori, co-leader Debbie Ngarewa-Packer says.In an end-of-year interview with Newsroom, the Te Tai Hauauru MP reflected on how 2024 has differed from her ...4 hours ago - The real story behind the Government’s maths narrative
Opinion: The latest Trends in International Mathematics and Science report was announced earlier this month, yet it didn’t get the flurry of media attention and political hand-wringing that typically accompanies these announcements. This might be because it presented good news, or you could argue, no news; the results paint a ...4 hours ago
- Pretty much every common nut in Aotearoa, reviewed and ranked
At long last, The Spinoff shells out for a nut ranking. The Spinoff needs to double the number of paying members we have to continue telling these kinds of stories. Please read our open letter and sign up to be a member today. It recently came to The Spinoff’s attention ...5 hours ago - What it’s like to be made redundant by the Ministry of Education
I was one of hundreds of people who lost my government job this week. Here’s exactly how it played out. The Spinoff needs to double the number of paying members we have to continue telling these kinds of stories. Please read our open letter and sign up to be a ...5 hours ago
- Why can’t I pick up my own dropped phone on a plane?
Summer reissue: One anxiously attentive passenger pays attention to an in-flight safety video, and wonders ‘Why can’t I pick up my own phone?’ The Spinoff needs to double the number of paying members we have to continue telling these kinds of stories. Please read our open letter and sign up ...5 hours ago
- Juggernaut: The ghosts of 1984
Summer reissue: Why do those Lange-Douglas years cast such a long shadow 40 years on? The Spinoff needs to double the number of paying members we have to continue telling these kinds of stories. Please read our open letter and sign up to be a member today. First published June ...5 hours ago
- Newsroom daily quiz, Monday 23 December
Loading…(function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){var ql=document.querySelectorAll('A[data-quiz],DIV[data-quiz]'); if(ql){if(ql.length){for(var k=0;k<ql.length;k++){ql[k].id='quiz-embed-'+k;ql[k].href="javascript:var i=document.getElementById('quiz-embed-"+k+"');try{qz.startQuiz(i)}catch(e){i.start=1;i.style.cursor='wait';i.style.opacity='0.5'};void(0);"}}};i['QP']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){(i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o),m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m)})(window,document,'script','https://take.quiz-maker.com/3012/CDN/quiz-embed-v1.js','qp');Got a good quiz question? Send Newsroom your questions.The post Newsroom daily quiz, Monday 23 December appeared first on Newsroom. ...5 hours ago
- Govt walks away from infrastructure alliance
The Government’s social housing agency has backed out of a billion-dollar infrastructure alliance that would have built about 6000 new homes in Auckland – less than 18 months after signing a five-year extension.Labour says the decision to rip up the contract and sell off existing state houses could lead to ...5 hours ago
- Daily crossword, Monday 23 December
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- Vanuatu quake: Warnings as bad weather threat looms for Port Vila
By , New Zealand’s Urban Search and Rescue (USAR) says impending bad weather for Port Vila is now the most significant post-quake hazard. A tropical low in the Coral Sea is expected to move into Vanuatu waters, bringing heavy rainfall. Authorities have issued warnings to people ...11 hours ago
- Signs of the hīkoi: More than just ‘words on cardboard’
The placards seen at the Hīkoi mō Te Tiriti conveyed "huge kōrero with immediacy", expert says: "People know the power of the word." ...20 hours ago
- A final Ode to .. King Luxon
Cosmic CatastropheThe year draws to a close.King Luxon has grown tired of the long eveningsListening to the dreary squabbling of his Triumvirate.He strolls up to the top floor of the PalaceTo consult with his Astronomer Royal.The Royal Telescope scans the skies,And King Luxon stares up into the heavensFrom the terrestrial ...1 day ago
- A hater and an enthusiast review The Royal Free by Carl Shuker
Spinoff editor Mad Chapman and books editor Claire Mabey debate Carl Shuker’s new novel about… an editor. Claire: Hello Mad, you just finished The Royal Free – overall impressions? Mad: Hi Claire, I literally just put the book down and I would have to say my immediate impression is ...1 day ago
- Survive to 25 (December, that is)
Christmas and its buildup are often lonely, hard and full of unreasonable expectations. Here’s how to make it to Jesus’s birthday and find the little bit of joy we all deserve. Have you found this year relentless? Has the latest Apple update “fucked up your life”? Have you lost two ...1 day ago
- All I want for Christmas is modern day slavery legislation
Despite overwhelming public and corporate support, the government has stalled progress on a modern day slavery law. That puts us behind other countries – and makes Christmas a time of tragedy rather than joy, argues Shanti Mathias. Picture the scene on Christmas Day. Everyone replete with nice things to eat, ...1 day ago
- Israeli-American historian describes attacks on Gaza as ‘war of annihilation’
Asia Pacific Report “It looks like Hiroshima. It looks like Germany at the end of World War Two,” says an Israeli-American historian and professor of holocaust and genocide studies at Brown University about the horrifying reality of Gaza. Professor Omer Bartov, has described Israel’s ongoing war on Gaza as an ...1 day ago
- NZ govt plans to make ‘heavy handed’ change to free speech rules for universities
The New Zealand government coalition is tweaking university regulations to curb what it says is an increasingly “risk-averse approach” to free speech. The proposed changes will set clear expectations on how universities should approach freedom of speech issues. Each university will then have to adopt a “freedom of speech statement” ...1 day ago
- Caitlin Johnstone: Where does the aggression really begin?
Report by Dr David Robie – Café Pacific. – COMMENTARY: By Caitlin Johnstone New York prosecutors have charged Luigi Mangione with “murder as an act of terrorism” in his alleged shooting of health insurance CEO Brian Thompson earlier this month. This news comes out at the same time as ...1 day ago
- OECD Report Highlights That More Is Needed
This report reflects that gap in our dealings overseas, and it shows that legislators, the public sector and businesses need to walk the talk. ...2 days ago - Government quietly scraps waste minimisation policies
The government has quietly cancelled plans to improve recycling and roll out a kerbside food scraps composting scheme. ...2 days ago
- MEAA welcomes News MAP funding ‘leg up’ for Australian journalism
Pacific Media Watch The union for Australian journalists has welcomed the delivery by the federal government of more than $150 million to support the sustainability of public interest journalism over the next four years. Combined with the announcement of the revamped News Bargaining Initiative, this could result in up to ...2 days ago
- Transmission Gully partnership breakdown will not hurt future public-private partnerships, Infrastru...
The roads partnership unravelled under a confidential settlement this week, meaning NZTA will now finish off what it had said was incomplete work. ...2 days ago
- Funding cuts to charity particularly felt over Christmas period
The number of people seeking help from Lifeline is expected to increase by 10 to 20 percent over Christmas. ...2 days ago
- Nelson Hospital conditions ‘unbearable’ – staff
One worker says the building is decrepit and falling down around them. ...2 days ago
- The Secret Diary of .. Luxon at Xmas
MONDAY“Merry Xmas, and praise the Lord,” said Sheriff Luxon, and smiled for the camera. There was a flash of smoke when the shutter pressed down on the magnesium powder. The sheriff had arranged for a photographer from the Dodge Gazette to attend a ceremony where he handed out food parcels to ...2 days ago
- Stand by for cricket’s Smash Palace
It’s a little under two months since the White Ferns shocked the cricketing world, deservedly taking home the T20 World Cup. Since then the trophy has had a tour around the country, five of the squad have played in the WBBL in Australia while most others have returned to domestic ...2 days ago
- Early-onset dementia under the microscope
Comment: If we say the word ‘dementia’, many will picture an older person struggling to remember the names of their loved ones, maybe a grandparent living out their final years in an aged care facility. Dementia can also occur in people younger than 65, but it can take time before ...2 days ago
- Keeping the pirates at bay: Should the Australian ‘Blocking Order’ case prompt a discussion in N...
Piracy is a reality of modern life – but copyright law has struggled to play catch-up for as long as the entertainment industry has existed. As far back as 1988, the House of Lords criticised copyright law’s conflict with the reality of human behaviour in the context of burning cassette ...2 days ago
- ‘We were as famous as Tom Cruise’: Craig Parker on 90s Shortland St fandom
As he makes a surprise return to Shortland Street, actor Craig Parker takes us through his life in television. Craig Parker has been a fixture on television in Aotearoa for nearly four decades. He had starring roles in iconic local series like Gloss, Mercy Peak and Diplomatic Immunity, featured in ...2 days ago
- ‘I prioritise the mission, not my health’: Adam McGrath’s perfect weekend playlist
The Ōtautahi musician shares the 10 tracks he loves to spin, including the folk classic that cured him of a ‘case of the give-ups’. When singer-songwriter Adam McGrath returns to Kumeu’s Auckland Folk Festival from January 24-27, he’s not planning on simply idling his way through – he wants the late ...2 days ago
- The rescue dog bringing joy to Christchurch retirement homes
Alex Casey spends an afternoon on the job with River, the rescue dog on a mission to spread joy to Ōtautahi rest homes. Almost everyone says it is never enough time. But River the rescue dog, a jet black huntaway border collie cross, has to keep a tight pace to ...2 days ago
- Fiji pro-Palestine nativity scene exposes Gaza as ‘hell on earth’ at Christmas
Asia Pacific Report Fiji activists have recreated the nativity scene at a solidarity for Palestine gathering in Fiji’s capital Suva just days before Christmas. The Fiji Women’s Crisis Centre and Fijians for Palestine Solidarity Network recreated the scene at the FWCC compound — a baby Jesus figurine lies amidst the ...2 days ago
- Vanuatu quake: ‘Our shop was flattened like a deck of cards’
By 1News Pacific correspondent Barbara Dreaver and 1News reporters A number of Kiwis have been successfully evacuated from Vanuatu after a devastating earthquake shook the Pacific island nation earlier this week. The death toll was still unclear, though at least 14 people were killed according to an earlier statement from ...2 days ago
- How diplomats have broken the law in NZ – and what happened next
A handful of foreign diplomats have misbehaved during their time here - and not all of them have been brought to justice. ...3 days ago
“four years and they still havn’t cottoned on to me”…… dumb bastards….
He he New Zealand, you might have kept your intermediate school teachers but you are about to lose your assets …
“Fuck this feels uncomfortable, I’m sick to death of pretending to give a shit abut these subhumans.”
I’m so cool. I have seen the queen. I have given Phillip the thumbs up. I’ve got my knighthood in the bag. Stuff the teachers. My kids get a ratio of 1:16 so I’m Ok. Performance pay is for the plebs. Just as well because I might miss out. Anyway, my mates in Hawaii say the temperatures are fine. I’ll head off there as soon as poss. Dodge the media who are so stroppy at the moment. They are asking harder questions.
I am on the Methadone program.
this pic must have been taken just after a dose….
“You think I care what you write about me?”
That’s exactly the same thing you said last caption contest Pete George. Yawn!
“You want smug… I can do smug!”
Guess where I just pulled this fist out of.
hekia paratas b*m? I like guessing games..
So this is what shit smells like. No wonder people complain that the country is swimming in it.
lol
PM asleep at the wheel – no one notices.
“Come closer little ones. I have some lovely lollies for you.”
Not long now till the jobs done and I can be off home.
Super-Sized Numbers Man pulls some more from out of his arse.
Pervy PM has good night in Calendar Girls avidly watching poverty stricken students work the pole.
The 600 series had rubber skin. We spotted them easy, but these are new. They look human… sweat, bad breath, everything. Very hard to spot.
ht kyle reese
They say it got smart, a new order of intelligence. Then it saw all people as a threat, not just the ones on the other side. Decided our fate in a microsecond: extermination.
Anyone know what kind of watch that is? It looks like it’s worth at least three months worth of gross minimum wage.
Rolex I expect. That’s the hall-mark of the upwardly mobile. They don’t own “watches” like the rest of us.
See the big tik tok? Time’s up.
Hi everyone, its me the smiling assassin. If you look at my right hand you can see it is now in a permanent pistol-grip, finger on the trigger shape due to the high usage. But having no conscience allows me to keep smiling.
You do finally understand we got options on your time, don’t you?
I’ve just dropped a stinker of a budget, and it’s fun watching people quirm.
Photographer: “I said ‘laid-back’, John, not fucking comotose !!!”
We’re going to make a shit load of money from these ignorant taxpayers like we did in Ireland. 70 billion, all under my control..All I have to do is smile and wave. Let’s see, 100 million goes to Goldman sachs, then 50 million goes to …..
Photographer: “Oh Christ, you’ve been drinking again, haven’t ya, mate.”
I didn’t get where I am today by waiting for the government to put my benefit up.
“I got where I am today by pulling the ladder up behind me. Suckers!”
Fuck youuuu!
“Don’t I look spesh with my Tephlon veneer all buffed?”
Buffed? why aren’t there spatter marks on the wall behind him then?
Tick-tock, tick-tock,
Listen to the little clock.
Tick-tock, tick-tock,
Johnny is a little cock!
😀
What a smug, self satisfied tosser.
Wow, a five button general!
King cNUT
Guess who just looked at his bank statement.
Stopping the family from thriving: Legend
“Poverty… What poverty?”
Thinking : “I’m going to Europe. Must build contacts for my next job. I wonder if I hang around outside the Bilderbergers will let me in?
“The most amusing part of this job is the conspiracy theories that emanate from the Left which trouble me not in the least”.
For “conspiracy theories” read “career plan”
If the taxpayer had supported your family and paid for your education you’d be smirking too.
Stop hitting yourself
Is this the face of a front-line con-artist?
“Dush you like my new toupée?”
Why is he making his watch a feature? Normally you would pose with it half covered given the pose you have adopted.
And what is with that right arm and hand position? And the finger arrangement?
It is altogether creepy.
Who chose this out of all the photos he did in this shoot? Was this the best?
Maybe his minders have given up dressing their election prop? Maybe they know he wont be around for long.
Not only my thigh is itchy, two things…
NEW from BOLLOKA; The Banker.
Have you been living on borrowed time? Feeling interest ticking away? Now Switzerland’s finest watchmaker has the watch for you.
The Banker.
Made from steel from the same foundry that Geneva’s gnomes use to make the doors to their vaults, the Banker features a changeable front, with two patented Smugolene faces to match your moods, both smiley and wavey. The Banker comes with selective memory, that you can switch on and off just by one toss of the wrist.
Tell the world that You’ve Made It, and you’re laughing all the way to The Banker.
Bolloka Watches. Bern. London. Waikiki.
loving it ,
sharing it
the Right hand Finger is straight from the creepy Farmers Santa
“And, bachelor number 3, what’s your idea of a romantic legislative agenda?”
‘ how could ya not love me, stuff do ‘
SmirKey
What is scarier than this photo? That a PM is surrounded by idiots who think it is clever.
Smirkey gives himself a well deserved upper cut.
“Anyone wanna buy a watch” ?
“It’s not yours to sell”
“Ok, anyone wanna buy 49% of a watch”?
The watch automatically wakes me up when a NZ TV camera man appears and wants my latest winning pose. God I’m good looking.
I am the the slick, charming Wall Street salesman: I’ll steal your soul and sell it back to you! And you will thank me for it!
My credentials? I got 50,000,000 dinero out of Merrill Lynch before its Ponzi scheme went BUST!
Me and my classmates will do the same to NZ before it goes BUST!
What’s important here is a monitory system and the Bankers can’t let them fail, what would
become of me?
I’m busting to go.
Just cross ya leg a bit harder and don’t look at ya watch.
I love to look in the mirror and push my left cheek up so that I resemble Muldoon. Hope they cant tell I’m wearing Hekias g-string and its on backwards.
And on the seventh day after stuffing up an entire country moronkey rested.
This is a comment he actually made to me last year, in Lower Hutt, at a public meeting organised by Greypower,
“Don’t you worry about asset sales. It’ll all be alright.”
I kid you not.
That’s what he probably told his clients while working for Merril Lynch before the whole derivative scheme went belly up. That worries me.
Sleepy, Happy and Dopey
I want to say a funny caption, but the photo is too shite.
A smile, slightly rumpled suit and a slouch to make him look relaxed and approachable. Run of the mill so far.
The slightly lower pov to give an air of authority – at least they didn’t overdo it.
Can’t do much about the dead eyes, but a lot of people won’t notice.
But then the fist, the trigger finger and the defensive knee? Is that seriously the best they could come up with? Out of how many taken in the photo shoot? They seriously sat down and said “this is the best shot we have, it’s awesome”? My best guess would be that it was a 3news photo in the studio, he was in a bit of a hurry for it, and his minders had little control over which ones got used (or maybe didn’t see them before publication).
Horologist? Moi?
Anyone know the make of said watch?
Let’s have a gander at how accurate his time keeping is, 1975 anyone?
Believe it or not, this is as straight as he can sit. You should see what happens when he tries to lie straight in bed.
Maybe Aunty Betty bought it for him, or was that Aunty Olga, Or Aunty Helga?
“What’s the purpose of my visit to New Zealand?……..Ummm… Money..I think you guys pay me…don’t you?
John Key proves he does a better job of propping up his head than he does the economy.
How long til my knighthood, cos I cant keep up this smiling forever?