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notices and features - Date published:
3:25 pm, May 28th, 2013 - 53 comments
Categories: caption contest -
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We have total Faith in our unscrupulous rip-off ability. Amen.
“Hey Tony! Bill! The MRP price should be up there!”
Meanwhile, English appears to be saying, “Look Tony, my hand doesn’t shake anymore when I’m nervous.”
“The North-South Joint Declaration is an unchangeable milestone for national prosperity and a banner of independent unification that must be implemented by the whole nation!”
“..look..!..trickle-down..!'”
phillip ure..
“..look..!..it’s john key sitting on his money-mountain..!..”
phillip ure..
See that guy up there painting his roof?
Thats David Shearer that is!
“..look..!..the austerity chimera..!
..it’s dissolving like sugar in the sun..!”
phillip ure..
“..if you look closely..you can see the surge..
..as the wealth moves from the peasants..to us..”
phillip ure..
“..boo..!..it’s russel norman..!..”
phillip ure..
english:..”nah..!..i’m pretty sure dipton is that way..”
phillip ure..
ryall (to self) ..”..will i ever be ‘great-leader’..?”
phillip ure..
ryall:..”my button reads fuck-the-poor!..”
phillip ure..
“If where we are standing now represents Nationals position in the current polls, then way back there would be Labour and the Greens”
Wannabes practice posing for the bronze statues they hope will one day be cast in their honour.
“And this is the ship that brought Tony here from Remulak.”
english:..”it’s ok..!..it’s only shearer..
..he’s one of ours..
..we call him ‘the insurance policy’…”
phillip ure..
Tony: Ok – you’ve thrown out the fairy dust. Now let’s see how many people it makes go crazy and buy the shares.
ryall:..”just saying my daily prayers to ayn rand..
..i wish she was still here..
..to see what we have done in her name..
..i could give her some mighty river shares..!
..i could show her our child-poverty stats..!…
..she would be well-pleased..”
phillip ure
Bill: And when the brighter future arrives it will rise up before us to fill the sky! Just over here to the right of us. Can you see it Tony? Can you?!
(Tony strains heroically, but his mind blanks off to to middle distance – a grandiose ‘nowhere in particular’ place)
Other Guy: Is that a burning plane coming into crash land? Erm, Bill? Over there. I think that looks to me like…
Bill: “Behold! It is listed! My cup runneth over!”
Tim: “Behold! My commission overfloweth!”
Tony (thinking): (Why don’t these fucken numbers add up?)
See, that’s how far behind the lunatic left are in the polls.
Is it a bird ?
Is it a plane?
It’s the Caped Crusader .. also known as John Key.
Sieg Heil ! (Literally it means Hail [the] victory!)
Two do Tai Chi. Tony does Tie Chic.
This is the droid you are looking for.
Everything you see is for sale!
YEAH, NAH, MAYBE.
Who gives a …. We’re still the govt
To the extreme I rock the mic like a vandal
Light up the stage and wax a chump like a candle…
Praise the Free Market Lord!!!
Bill, If you look really hard you can see Auckland sprawling over the Bombays
Tony,Shush your not suppose to tell anyone they’ll realise their goin to starve.
Who, Just look this way it will be alright thats the way to Johns escape pod 2014
You know just like some third world nations the roads are perfect, lots of people starve and rich drive past with there windows up thankful they will soon pass it all.
Need gated compounds and armed security because those coloured people sometimes end up in neighbourhoods they’re not supposed to be
“In the time of King Herod, after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea, three knuckleheads from the East came to Wellington, asking, “Where is the child who has been born king of the Kiwis? For we observed his star at its rising, and have come to pay him homage.”
‘And now MIghty River Power is down to $2.35’.
Three unwise men hailing their hero who is also unwise.
“BID!!”
“Do we hear a higher bid from a coprorate, an Aussie bank, a multi millionaire kiwi investor?”
“Make no mistake, Meridian energy is going to be sold, and not to Kiwi mum and dad investors”
RYALL: (EXCITED SQUEAL) Man-wich!
It would be great if we could afford a mushroom cloud like that.
“So we just keep pushing the average working Kiwi down, and down, and down…”
“Hey, what is that crowd over there? Are those pitchforks and nooses they are carrying?”
Strength through Joyce movement confused which hand to salute with.
Look! A leak!
Our poll numbers are that high and going higher
“See there is a light at the end of the Tunnel….wait why is it getting smaller?
‘
Blinglish, the moment before a plank of wood smacked the back of his head when the ceiling collapsed at the crumbling New Zealand stock exchange.
*Unknown Guy* (rt): Look Tony! Over there! Is that our Brighter Future?!
*Tony Ryall*: Fuck off noddy
*Bill English*: Nope it’s John Key our saviour, behold the glory of his $$$$
“It’s the new Moet fountain on Planet Key, installed just in time for the 18th Birthday of The Leaders son.”
“To the left of the BMW, beside the person with the rolex, that’s a low income person who looks happy with us”
My plants are this high !
Two of these men went to Silverstream boarding school. One of them wishes he did.
If we point in the other direction, hopefully everyone will look that way and not notice Tony’s shirt.
Look Tony they have come to collect you, it’s time to go home conehead.
Not a conehead, that’s just what his Klu Klux Klan headgear does to his head:
http://i41.tinypic.com/2vki6fb.jpg
Bill did you really tell the leader to buy 1million of those shares for $2.50
You know he will not be happy we have lost him $150K already