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notices and features - Date published:
12:59 pm, December 15th, 2019 - 43 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour, The Standard -
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Two prats in a pod.
pot kettle something?
Simon Bridges plays pocket billiards during his meeting with Boris Johnson.
Two men standing alone together.
"I won because the leader of the opposition was so unpopular."
"Thanks."
Another beltaway issue by two politicians who are thankfully out of touch.
Is that your hand in my pocket?
Are you scratching my back?
If I had eyes in the back of my head I could read my mind.
Two men laughing how the left “just don’t get it”.
A sad joke is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
The bloke on the right doesn't look like he's got it…… The bloke on the left is remembering how he sold ten ghost bridges to the people in Northland. They didn't get them either.
Two ugly Con. men laughing as they give James a hard on.
So nice of you to think of my hard on.
picturr it as you drift off to sleep tonight.
The stuff of nightmares.
"You can smile about a Tory victory, but I have no clue what to do…… And, you ask why do I stand with my hands behind my back, well in the next five years that's where the main opposition attacks from."
Sunlight is the best disinfectant and two bugs escaped into the shadows.
"That McCahon painting…. is it 1 A.M. or I AM?"
"Don't know. Muldoon had the same problem."
"So, about that safe seat – still a million euros?"
"Pounds you antipodean pondscum, pounds".
"Damn it, I've only got yuan."
Luke I am your father …
Perky New Zealander pushing upwards on the make. World-weary, cynical UK toff considering Mike Hosking's head and deciding it's a hairdon't.
Dickhead and Head Dick
Yes, the old algebra question!
Simon + Boris = 2dix
LOL!
Infinite number of solutions.
Have faith Simon I've proven you can be a lying buffoon and still get elected.
Even Boris thinks Simons a tosser
Two men called Lend and Hope. Otherwise known as, artificially created demand since at least the 1980s and the global economy is still on life support and starting to convulse again.
The tories started it all, let them finish it.
When they were young one learnt to keep his pocket money safe and the other went to a school with a fagging tradition.
winner and soon to be winner
One winner and one whiner.
Toffish twit offers moral support as newby Bullington boy prepares for first soggy biscuit challenge.
Dress fails for the fastidious man about town #1
Wearing a tie at an incorrect length. Ideally, the tip of your tie should end in the middle of your belt buckle or waistband.
Dress fails #2
Conventional wisdom states that you always button your suit jacket. When in doubt, you should always fasten your suit jacket, except when seated.
Dress fails #3.
Suit coat pocket flaps are never worn part in, part out.
Dress fails #4. – Don't put your hands in trouser or jacket pockets, it makes them sag and out-of-line.
Note: about #2 – An exception to the rule – for politicians. Don't button your expensive suit jacket and the proles think of you as matey, easy-going and one of them; you don't appear to be the toffy-nosed middle-class twit you are who would sell his or her grandmother's house under them for personal profit.
But wear a tie, or else they'll think you are a hard-working CEO, and not a politician. If you want to look casual, then a pair of jeans with brown shoes and shirt worn outside covering the waist-line is de rigeur.
When you have the Fourth Estate on your side, you can win an election with your hands tied behind your back.
Hah! I’ve got the Press in my pocket and I tweet like Don.
Money money money must be funny in a rich man's world.
Bridges. Where's Trump?
Johnston. Painting Republicism as Corruption.
Floaty turds that won't go away no matter how many times you flush
Display dummies exhibit latest stuffed shirt range.
Bridges in the NZH today quoted saying kiwis will be voting for the same things UK voters did. What
to leave Europe?
to re-elect the government?
to oust unpopular opposition leaders?
to reject opposition parties?
sibo
Tie colour is interesting. You can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep.
New evidence of the dirty (Tory) pox plague infecting the world …
Pinky and Perky