ImperatorFish: Blame Labour
Written By:
- Date published:
12:30 pm, September 25th, 2012 - 11 comments
Categories: john key, labour, national -
Tags: song
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.
The week has started badly for John Key. Yesterday we learned that National are down in the latest political poll, and today we hear that our intelligence folk may have been allegedly acting unlawfully. The last bit of news is a bit of a problem for John Key, since he’s the guy in charge of that particular area of government. It’s going to be difficult for him to say “oh I didn’t bother to read the report.”
Today Solid Energy also announced the loss of hundreds of jobs. Solid Energy is an SOE. So that’s our own government throwing people onto the scrapheap. Many of these people will head over to Australia, increasing the number of New Zealanders seeking their brighter futures elsewhere.
But now is not the time to panic. National has a plan to deal with the crisis. Tomorrow will probably see another welfare crackdown, although with the number of groups left to target rapidly diminishing, could it be the turn of one-legged Dutchmen to feel Paula’s wrath? Insomniac redheads maybe?
But if that plan doesn’t work, National has another up its sleeve: blame Labour.
Go on, sing along.
Blame Labour
My gal gone left me and my dog done died
Blame Labour.
My house burned down and I just got fired
Blame Labour.
My kids’ got no food and they’re hungry at school
I can’t pay the rent and the power bill’s due
Blame Labour.
There’s trouble in Afghanistan and problems in Iraq
Blame Labour.
My national cricket team totally suck
Blame Labour.
The neighbours with their parties are driving me mad
I can’t get no girls and my ass is getting fat
Blame Labour.
No matter who, no matter what, what no matter where-er
It’s all because of David F**king Shearer
Blame Labour
My car’s engine performance is less that I might like
Blame Labour
My legs are sore after I went riding on my bike
Blame Labour.
The Gallipoli campaign did not go as planned
I didn’t realise Dame Edna was a man
Blame Labour.
No matter who, no matter what, what no matter where-er
It’s all because of David F**king Shearer
Blame Labour.
The second Star Wars trilogy was a pile of shite
Blame Labour.
There’s just not enough marmite
Blame Labour.
My Google Maps don’t work no more
Athens lost the Peloponnesian War
Blame Labour.
No matter who, no matter what, what no matter where-er
It’s all because of David F**king Shearer
Blame Labour.
11 comments on “ImperatorFish: Blame Labour ”
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The Green Party is calling for the Government to stop subsidising the largest user of the country’s gas supplies, Methanex, following a report highlighting the multi-national’s disproportionate influence on energy prices in Aotearoa. ...7 days ago
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The Green Party is appalled with the Government’s new child poverty targets that are based on a new ‘persistent poverty’ measure that could be met even with an increase in child poverty. ...1 week ago
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Labour is urging the Prime Minister to walk the talk and support legislation combating modern slavery. ...2 weeks ago
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The Speaker of the New Zealand Parliament made an unprecedented decision on the government amendment to the Fast Track Approvals Bill last night. ...2 weeks ago
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The Government has done the right thing in moving to ban greyhound racing. ...2 weeks ago
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After years of advocacy, the Green Party is very happy to hear the Government has listened to our collective voices and announced the closure of the greyhound racing industry, by 1 August 2026. ...2 weeks ago
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In response to a new report from ERO, the Government has acknowledged the urgent need for consistency across the curriculum for Relationship and Sexuality Education (RSE) in schools. ...2 weeks ago
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The Green Party is appalled at the Government introducing legislation that will make it easier to penalise workers fighting for better pay and conditions. ...2 weeks ago
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Auckland Central MP, Chlöe Swarbrick, has written to Mayor Wayne Brown requesting he stop the unnecessary delays on St James Theatre’s restoration. ...2 weeks ago
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Today, the Green Party of Aotearoa proudly unveils its new Emissions Reduction Plan–He Ara Anamata–a blueprint reimagining our collective future. ...2 weeks ago
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Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says Health New Zealand will move swiftly to support dozens of internationally-trained doctors already in New Zealand on their journey to employment here, after a tripling of sought-after examination places. “The Medical Council has delivered great news for hardworking overseas doctors who want to contribute ...23 hours ago - PM appoints business leader to APEC Business Advisory Council
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has appointed Sarah Ottrey to the APEC Business Advisory Council (ABAC). “At my first APEC Summit in Lima, I experienced firsthand the role that ABAC plays in guaranteeing political leaders hear the voice of business,” Mr Luxon says. “New Zealand’s ABAC representatives are very well respected and ...3 days ago
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The Government’s measures to reduce airport wait times, and better transparency around flight disruptions is delivering encouraging early results for passengers ahead of the busy summer period, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. “Improving the efficiency of air travel is a priority for the Government to give passengers a smoother, more reliable ...3 days ago
- Ending contracted emergency housing in Rotorua
The Government today announced the intended closure of the Apollo Hotel as Contracted Emergency Housing (CEH) in Rotorua, Associate Housing Minister Tama Potaka says. This follows a 30 per cent reduction in the number of households in CEH in Rotorua since National came into Government. “Our focus is on ending CEH in the Whakarewarewa area starting ...3 days ago
- Vocational education and training decisions support return to regions
The Government will reshape vocational education and training to return decision making to regions and enable greater industry input into work-based learning Tertiary Education and Skills Minister, Penny Simmonds says. “The redesigned system will better meet the needs of learners, industry, and the economy. It includes re-establishing regional polytechnics that ...3 days ago
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The Government is taking action to better manage synthetic refrigerants and reduce emissions caused by greenhouse gases found in heating and cooling products, Environment Minister Penny Simmonds says. “Regulations will be drafted to support a product stewardship scheme for synthetic refrigerants, Ms. Simmonds says. “Synthetic refrigerants are found in a ...3 days ago
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People travelling on State Highway 1 north of Hamilton will be relieved that remedial works and safety improvements on the Ngāruawāhia section of the Waikato Expressway were finished today, with all lanes now open to traffic, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says.“I would like to acknowledge the patience of road users ...3 days ago
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Tertiary Education and Skills Minister, Penny Simmonds, has announced a new appointment to the board of Education New Zealand (ENZ). Dr Erik Lithander has been appointed as a new member of the ENZ board for a three-year term until 30 January 2028. “I would like to welcome Dr Erik Lithander to the ...4 days ago
- Government to celebrate Waitangi Day around NZ
The Government will have senior representatives at Waitangi Day events around the country, including at the Waitangi Treaty Grounds, but next year Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has chosen to take part in celebrations elsewhere. “It has always been my intention to celebrate Waitangi Day around the country with different ...4 days ago
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Two more criminal gangs will be subject to the raft of laws passed by the Coalition Government that give Police more powers to disrupt gang activity, and the intimidation they impose in our communities, Police Minister Mark Mitchell says. Following an Order passed by Cabinet, from 3 February 2025 the ...4 days ago
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The latest economic figures highlight the importance of the steps the Government has taken to restore respect for taxpayers’ money and drive economic growth, Finance Minister Nicola Willis says. Data released today by Stats NZ shows Gross Domestic Product fell 1 per cent in the September quarter. “Treasury and most ...4 days ago
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Tertiary Education and Skills Minister Penny Simmonds and Associate Minister of Education David Seymour today announced legislation changes to strengthen freedom of speech obligations on universities. “Freedom of speech is fundamental to the concept of academic freedom and there is concern that universities seem to be taking a more risk-averse ...4 days ago
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Police Minister, Mark Mitchell, and Internal Affairs Minister, Brooke van Velden, today launched a further Public Safety Network cellular service that alongside last year’s Cellular Roaming roll-out, puts globally-leading cellular communications capability into the hands of our emergency responders. The Public Safety Network’s new Cellular Priority service means Police, Wellington ...4 days ago
- Minister reopens Mangamuka Gorge
State Highway 1 through the Mangamuka Gorge has officially reopened today, providing a critical link for Northlanders and offering much-needed relief ahead of the busy summer period, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says.“The Mangamuka Gorge is a vital route for Northland, carrying around 1,300 vehicles per day and connecting the Far ...4 days ago
- Funding confirmed for second Ashburton Bridge
The Government has welcomed decisions by the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) and Ashburton District Council confirming funding to boost resilience in the Canterbury region, with construction on a second Ashburton Bridge expected to begin in 2026, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. “Delivering a second Ashburton Bridge to improve resilience and ...4 days ago
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The Government is backing the response into high pathogenic avian influenza (HPAI) in Otago, Biosecurity Minister Andrew Hoggard says. “Cabinet has approved new funding of $20 million to enable MPI to meet unbudgeted ongoing expenses associated with the H7N6 response including rigorous scientific testing of samples at the enhanced PC3 ...4 days ago
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Today the House agreed to Brendan Horsley being appointed Inspector-General of Defence, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. “Mr Horsley’s experience will be invaluable in overseeing the establishment of the new office and its support networks. “He is currently Inspector-General of Intelligence and Security, having held that role since June 2020. ...5 days ago
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Minister of Internal Affairs Brooke van Velden says the Government has agreed to the final regulations for the levy on insurance contracts that will fund Fire and Emergency New Zealand from July 2026. “Earlier this year the Government agreed to a 2.2 percent increase to the rate of levy. Fire ...5 days ago
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The Government is delivering regulatory relief for New Zealand businesses through changes to the Anti-Money Laundering and Countering Financing of Terrorism Act. “The Anti-Money Laundering and Countering Financing of Terrorism Amendment Bill, which was introduced today, is the second Bill – the other being the Statutes Amendment Bill - that ...5 days ago
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The Government today released a request for information (RFI) to seeking interest in partnerships to plant trees on Crown-owned land with low farming and conservation value (excluding National Parks) Forestry Minister Todd McClay announced. “Planting trees on Crown-owned land will drive economic growth by creating more forestry jobs in our regions, providing more wood ...5 days ago
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Loading…(function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){var ql=document.querySelectorAll('A[data-quiz],DIV[data-quiz]'); if(ql){if(ql.length){for(var k=0;k<ql.length;k++){ql[k].id='quiz-embed-'+k;ql[k].href="javascript:var i=document.getElementById('quiz-embed-"+k+"');try{qz.startQuiz(i)}catch(e){i.start=1;i.style.cursor='wait';i.style.opacity='0.5'};void(0);"}}};i['QP']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){(i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o),m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m)})(window,document,'script','https://take.quiz-maker.com/3012/CDN/quiz-embed-v1.js','qp');Got a good quiz question? Send Newsroom your questions.The post Newsroom daily quiz, Monday 23 December appeared first on Newsroom. ...5 hours ago
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I suppose it is Labour’s fault really, because if Labour wasn’t there there would be no need to blame Labour. Or so it is on Key’s Planet.
It is Labour’s fault for being bigger Nactoids than the Nactoids.
Or how about?
My mouth is always lyin’ and it wouldn’t be a bad thing but Opposition just won’t let up and that’s no lie
We spent many nights devising all our failed distractions From our deceptions becoming so blatant we kissed our popularity goodbye.
No matter!
“Don’t blame it on our useless policies
Don’t blame it on our endless lying
Don’t blame it on our disingenuity
Blame it on Labour
Thanks MJ
Given that coal is bad and mining is bad, shouldn’t we be scaling back anyway? I don’t recall similar concern for the fishery jobs that would be lost if the Maui’s Dolphin resolution had gone ahead.
Were there really 300-400 fishing jobs to be lost there? I think you are greatly exaggerating.
At a guess, quite likely – you would lose fisheries along the west coast of the North Island and most of the South Island except for Fiordland, and then there are all the support jobs, processing and so forth, and the flow on impact to the coastal communities.
Pop the Maui’s dolphin is only found of the coast of Taranaki and the raglan coastal district maybe 20 or 30 jobs lost in total !
Maybe 20 to 30 jobs found in eco tourism!
The whole range of Hector’s Dolphin has to be taken into account – we know so little about Maui’s Dolphins that we can’t be sure there aren’t populations elsewhere.
In any case there is a ban on trawling and set nets from Maunganui Bluff to Hawera out to two nautical miles from shore, just not in the harbours. it’s not like nothing has been done.
the science shows that ban needs to go right to the continental shelf!
We should, as a matter of fact, be scaling back. If we don’t use it in NZ then we shouldn’t be digging it up or fishing it. That, though, would require NZ to actually develop more businesses than just farms and no government going back to 1984 seems to have wanted to do that.
ImperatorFish, “This week has started badly for John Key”. Tell me which week has NOT started badly for him since the election? I am tired of hearing it, and noting that his bad behaviour loses him precious little popularity! I hardly think Key is bothered a bit by Shearer. No, sorry, but I cannot sing along with Key/National. I would much prefer to see him confined to “Sing Sing”.