ImperatorFish: Call Me, John
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- Date published:
2:50 pm, February 3rd, 2012 - 41 comments
Categories: humour, john banks -
Tags: catherine isaac
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here
John Banks says Catherine Isaac is qualified to oversee the trial of Charter Schools because the ACT list candidate “loves education”, and spent six years on a school board of trustees.
I love cricket, and I spent several years playing the game in my youth. Should I take over John Wright’s job when he retires?
I am also a fan of the All Blacks, and have played a bit of club rugby in New Zealand and England. Clearly I can do just as good a job as Steve Hansen.
I’ve also watched quite a few films over the years, and I did a film appreciation paper at University, so Sir Peter might as well hand over The Hobbit directing duties right now.
And I’m a big fan of education. I spent several years in various schools and universities, so I would also like a role in setting up these Charter Schools. Give me a call, John.
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The opposition parties stand united for an Aotearoa that honours Te Tiriti, rather than seeking to rewrite it. Labour, the Greens and Te Pāti Māori are working together against the Government’s divisive Treaty Principles Bill. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Labour, Greens and Te Pāti Māori call on the Prime Minister to block the Treaty Principle...
The opposition parties stand united for an Aotearoa that honours Te Tiriti, rather than seeking to rewrite it. Labour, the Greens and Te Pāti Māori are working together against the Government’s divisive Treaty Principles Bill. ...2 weeks ago
- NZ must pursue independent foreign policy
The Green Party says the need is greater than ever for Aotearoa New Zealand to pursue an independent foreign policy. ...2 weeks ago
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Ka nui te mihi kia koutou. Ka mihi ki te mana whenua ko Ngāti Whātua Ōrākei. Kia ora and good morning everyone. Thank you Fran and Simon for inviting me here today, and importantly your leadership of this forum over several years now. I want to acknowledge David Gehrenbeck, Deputy ...12 hours ago
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- District Court Judge appointed
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- Driver safety screens to be installed on Auckland buses
Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed news from the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) that bus driver protection screens will be installed across Auckland’s bus fleet by 2026.“The Government is committed to improving the safety of working environments for bus drivers, and Budget 2024 allocated $15 million of Crown funding over ...16 hours ago
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Tēnā koutou katoa – it is a pleasure to be here today. I would like to begin by acknowledging the important leadership role you all play in ensuring a quality health system New Zealanders can trust. There is enormous clinical expertise in this room covering a wide range of disciplines. ...3 days ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Susan Grantham, Lecturer in Communication, Griffith University Shutterstock The federal government’s proposed social media ban for under-16s has sparked widespread debate, affecting millions of young Australians, their families and educators. But will it actually work? While the aim behind this ban ...9 hours ago - Ant stings can be painful. Here’s how to avoid getting stung this summer (and what to do if you do...
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The only published and available best-selling indie book chart in New Zealand is the top 10 sales list recorded every week at Unity Books’ stores in High St, Auckland, and Willis St, Wellington. AUCKLAND 1 Orbital by Samantha Harvey (Jonathan Cape, $26) The slight, superb winner of the Booker Prize ...12 hours ago
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The first arrest was made just three minutes after midnight, with 11 more to come. ...14 hours ago
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The committee plans to hold hearings in the week starting Monday, 27 January and the weeks starting 10, 17 and 24 February 2025. ...15 hours ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Matej Lipar, Adjunct Research Fellow, School of Earth and Planetary Sciences, Curtin University Author provided/Google Earth Earlier this year, a caver was poring over satellite images of the Nullarbor Plain when he came across something unexpected: an enormous, mysterious scar etched ...17 hours ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Treena Clark, Chancellor’s Indigenous Research Fellow, Faculty of Design, Architecture and Building, University of Technology Sydney Once located 250 metres to the east of the Art Gallery of South Australia, the grand beaux-arts style Jubilee Exhibition Building was constructed to house the ...17 hours ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Annette Greenhow, Assistant Professor, Faculty of Law, Bond University Linda George/Shutterstock The ten-year anniversary of the death of much-loved Australian cricketer Phillip Hughes falls on November 27. The 25-year-old’s life was tragically cut short in 2014 when a bouncer ...17 hours ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Stephanie Gomes-Ng, Senior Lecturer of Psychology, Auckland University of Technology Getty Images Former New Zealand prime minister John Key has three white rabbits painted on his helicopter, a nod to his “massively superstitious” habit of repeating “white rabbits” three times at ...19 hours ago
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The coalition has "absolutely no intention of listening to the evidence that comes out of their experiment", Labour MP says. ...20 hours ago
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Labour claims Government is ‘cherry-picking’ smoking trends data to hide decade-first increase in daily smokers The post Smoke and mirrors in heated tobacco debate appeared first on Newsroom. ...20 hours ago - Smoke and mirrors in tobacco debate
Labour claims Government is ‘cherry-picking’ smoking trends data to hide decade-first increase in daily smokers The post Smoke and mirrors in tobacco debate appeared first on Newsroom. ...20 hours ago
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The Government’s economic adviser is sending a message it doesn’t want to hear – superannuation is increasingly unaffordable The post Treasury bangs the drum on ‘unsustainable’ superannuation appeared first on Newsroom. ...20 hours ago
- Victims of sex offending welcome shift on name suppression laws
A man abused by a former political figure is "immensely relieved" at a government proposal to end secrecy around sex offenders' identities. ...20 hours ago
- This week three parties stood together – can they withstand the storm to come?
There is plenty yet to play out, but the next election is at this rate shaping up as trio versus trio, writes Toby Manhire. A subplot of this week’s historic hīkoi mō te Tiriti has been the sight of the three opposition parties presenting a unified front. Te Pāti Māori ...21 hours ago
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And I love my wife. Been married to her for decades. So I am expert. I will be able to be so with everyone’s wives. Who is first?
I love aviation and I can land a Boeing 777 on Microsoft Flight Sim, can I take control of an Air NZ long haul flight?
BTW the writing is on the wall for small schools, expect mass closures, Dunedin and Kawerau were the experiments of how to best do it.
It will be great to see the class size doubling in Private Schools as clearly it will be a way to improve teaching.
With that sort of experience Ian, I am shocked that you aren’t wanting run AirNZ
high left wing turn out electorates will be punished
I love drinking. Can I be on the Alcohol Advisory Board – pleeeze –
Following on the Banks logic path:
I’ve handled a lot of money in my time at the TAB. I want to become a Money speculator like my hero, KeY or better still, a Treasury wonk like my other mate, Doble Dipton.
I also know how to put band aids on wounds I want to be a surgeon or something similar in one of our hospitals or even advisor to my mate, Muckup McCully.
There’s lots of nats I would love to operate on!! LOL
Calm down Dr Mengle…
Well you can forget neuro surgery no brains in national to worry about.
I’m a dab hand at lawn mowing so can I be Minister for Agriculture.
Maybe you could have associate police as well. Cos, you know, lawn order.
Geez, that’d be great. A fan of Laura Norder. Hey CV, it’s okay you can have Fish and Forest after all.
I really love fishing so you’ll have a fight for Fisheries Ministry.
I’ll settle for the Associate position, I’m not greedy 🙂
Moa you could be over qualified besides you would have to be a member of Hact.
I’ve been known to screw things up, can I form a government pretty please.
I’ve got a few trees in the backyard; Minister of Forestry for me please. And I enjoy the occasional Blue Cod meal – Fisheries thanks.
Don’t be greedy CV. You can have Forestry or Fisheries but you can’t have both.
But I thought being greedy was a prerequisite of being in this Cabinet 😀
Previously from over the ditch, I’ve now been a resident for over 30 years here, I’ll take Immigration
You’d have to reside most of the year in Hawaii to be tourism minister
Is anyone Minister of Energy yet? ‘Cos I can sort out some good Es…
Had a holiday and love love loved it – I’ll take tourism and couldn’t be worse than the current guy.
Ok but it’s holidays in Hawaii you will be promoting.
You have to actually BE a tourist, just follow the example of our fine PM.
His Remmers mansion is just a bach while he plays at running a small country. What a lark!
All the good jobs are gone already, darn it!!
I only have a restricted driver’s license so I probably shouldn’t put my hand up for Transport Minister, but I could easily manage an associate transport portfolio provided that the Minister has a full license and I don’t have to work after 10pm.
Fantastic!
I can be transport minister – full licence and never had a ticket in 30 years, so I can be a self-righteous tut-tutter as well.
rosy all you have to say is we must build more Motorways how come you get the easy job
Dont sell your self short felix think of bunter beany Bennett, she should be your inspiration hell mate dont let a lack of a real qualification hold ya back. A restricted license ya say well ya wont have to drive mate if your the minister, ya get a beamer and a driver no actual driving skills needed!
I enjoy the odd punt and especially being invited to the members lounge at Racecourses for cheap plonk (but not at Egmont Racing Club) – Minister of Racing material for sure.
Been unemployed a coupla times and apreciate looking at women so I’ll put my hand up for Minister of Social Developement and Associate Minster of Womens Affairs if the post is still available.
Huh…….What’s happenned to my comments?????????????????????????????????
Ok, looks like foreign affairs is still vacant, I’ll put my hand up for that, anyone game??
Nick smith has that one sewn up he’s had plenty of internal affairs time to look overseas!
Love sport and have looked longingly at corporate boxes on occasion. Even have programme collection and an encyclopedic knowledge of english football (1970-date) and New Zealand Cricket (73- date). Was there when Coney bowled the bowling ball, when we lost the Rugby League test in the last minute at Carlaw Park, when we beat Bahrain to qualify for the World Cup, and have attended quite a number of rugby matches including way back in time when BOP beat Aussie at the beautifully named Rotorua International Stadium. Minister of Sport material.
a bit overqualified i would have thought…..you understand it too well…
Ok, I’ll take finance- can’t balance the chequebook at all. In fact last year I ran up an $18b deficit.
But I promise to get back in credit by 2014 (or later- maybe).