ImperatorFish: New Year Bombshells Rock Nation On Edge

Written By: - Date published: 9:06 pm, January 4th, 2012 - 7 comments
Categories: humour, Media - Tags:

Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here

Hard-hitting Herald journo Bevan Hurley reports:

Wedding bells have been ringing out across the country in what’s shaping up as a summer of celebrity love. All Black Ali Williams and his bride Casey Green tied the knot in Queenstown, sticking to tradition – Green showed up 18 minutes late.

The star lock forward has opened up about how his rugby career is almost at an end, and there will be no babies for at least a year.

“The scary fact is, rugby is about to finish for me and there’s no point bringing babies into my life just yet,” he told the NZ Woman’s Weekly, which went on sale a day early yesterday. “But when we do, I’m happy for Casey to bring home the bacon so I can go fishing three times a week.”

All Black captain Richie McCaw was one of Ali’s groomsmen, while his World Cup-winning teammates Dan Carter and Jerome Kaino attended with their new wives.

The news has rocked the financial world, with the Euro dropping overnight.

Meanwhile, officials have called for calm, after news that Sonny Bill Williams met rugby league bosses in a cafe over the weekend.

But there was more trouble to come, after stunning revelations by an expert that New Zealanders had trouble keeping their New Years resolutions.

Of greater concern is that for the first time in 2012 Jonah Lomu’s brave battle with ill-health did not led the front-page of the Herald on Sunday.

And there was panic among journalists overnight as it was realised that another day of content needed to be found.

7 comments on “ImperatorFish: New Year Bombshells Rock Nation On Edge ”

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  1. chris73 1
    5 January 2012 at 8:28 am

    True, there are more important issues…like the disgraceful actions of the Maritime union leaders

    • Zetetic 1.1
      5 January 2012 at 11:00 am

      If you disagree with the strike, you disagree with the democratic choice of the workers who have voluntarily joined the Maritime Union. Every decision to strike and accept or reject an offer is taken by the striking workers and only the striking workers. If an individual worker decides he or she doesn’t want to stand with their fellow workers on this issue, they can leave the union and go back to work tomorrow.

      Don’t give us this bullshit about evil ‘union leaders’. MUNZ has a total of 6 paid staff nationwide and they’re based in Wellington. Do you think that, for reasons you haven’t provided, they’ve decided to destroy Ports of Auckland and help other NZ ports? How could they do that anyway? Every decision to strike and accept or reject an offer is taken by the striking workers and only the striking workers.

      This dispute is happening because the workers feel they have a geniune case, which is actually more about the Port management trying to outsource and casualise its workforce to cut costs than getting pay rises, (and, hey, hasn’t Ports of Auckland acknowledged that pay adjustments are overdue anyway with their 10% offer?), not because anyone is forcing them.

  2. Fotran 2
    5 January 2012 at 9:50 am

    As a Shareholder in Ports of Tauranga I am happy to see the Ports of Auckland “affair” continue.
    Maersk, now Fonterra – who next.
    And I shall await transferring some of my hard bearned pension savings from an Australian bank to taking part in the purchase of a part of New Zealand.
    Happy New Year

    • Zetetic 2.1
      5 January 2012 at 11:03 am

      part of New Zealand which you already own.

      The Nats are giving you a shake-down – pay thousands to buy what you already own or they sell it overseas.

      • chris73 2.1.1
        5 January 2012 at 11:15 am

        Crap, I don’t “own it”

        I can’t use it as security, I can’t sell any of it off and I can’t stop prices from rising. If thats your idea of owning something then good on you.

        • Zetetic 2.1.1.1
          5 January 2012 at 3:36 pm

          we collectively own all the assets of the State, and we get to appoint the people to run them (we had our last round of selections on November 26th). Collectively, we can do all those things you mention with those assets, if we choose to.

          You won’t be able to stop power prices rising as a tiny shareholder in a partially privatised company. In fact, you’ll stand to gain more through higher prices because you get more in dividends than you pay in higher bills – coming at the expense of those who don’t own any shares.

          After partial privatisation, as now, people would have more power to keep prices down by pressuring the government to act than by using any shareholder power they may have.

        • McFlock 2.1.1.2
          5 January 2012 at 4:21 pm

          Crap, I don’t “own it”
          I can’t use it as security, I can’t sell any of it off and I can’t stop prices from rising. If thats your idea of owning something then good on you.

          Bull, you do “own” it as a consequence of being a citizen.

          Because of the collective structure of the owning body, you might have a say as to whether it is bought or sold (if the government choose to make a democratic decision) but no dictatorial rights (unless you become PM), and make no mistake that you pay the opportunity cost of those decisions. 
           
          You have a vote every three years as to who gets to be on the governing board.
           
          The security you get is access to a reliable means of exchange and a certain level of rule of law. You leverage it without knowing – you pay lower interest on debt as a result.
           
          True, you can’t stop prices from rising, but then if you owned a 1/4,500,000 share in IBM I doubt you would have much effect on their pricing strategy, either. 

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