John Key’s Paradise

Written By: - Date published: 9:02 am, November 6th, 2016 - 83 comments
Categories: class war, crime, national - Tags: , , , , , ,

Much as I hate to ruin your Sunday morning, this really happened. Former National Party president Michelle Boag sang a version of Gangsta’s Paradise at party fundraiser in Auckland (video also here). She was later arrested for crimes against music, dance, fashion, and irony. (That last part didn’t happen, but it should have.)

Boag’s lyrics were somewhat adapted, apparently we are “Living in John Key’s Paradise”. Here are some recent headlines from said paradise:

New Zealand’s most shameful secret: ‘We have normalised child poverty’

New Zealand housing crisis forces hundreds to live in tents and garages

Working poor at ‘crisis’ point

Official crime stats reveal burglaries and crime rising

We’re not trained to do our jobs properly, say police in workplace survey

Schools to axe core subjects as shortage of specialist teachers reaches ‘crisis point’

‘Line in the sand’ as junior doctors strike

Chch mental health funding slashed despite overwhelming demand

Acute Mental Health System in Crisis

Family Court delays at tipping point, lawyers say

A third of NZ children live in poverty

One in 100 Kiwis homeless, new study shows numbers quickly rising

Calls for increase in social housing as nearly half of the homeless are children

Nation of Debt: Ready, set, crash – could New Zealand be next to fall?

Auckland housing facing ‘violent end’ – expert

Big hike in food parcel demand – Salvation Army

Work and Income sent families to garages

Government abandons social housing target of 65,000

Education funding cuts laid bare

Poverty NZ’s ‘new normal’ – report

Housing crisis blamed for Auckland’s rheumatic fever rates

Half a million Kiwis not receiving healthcare because of cost

Unicef and charities urge New Zealand to act on child poverty

Food bank pantries bare, emergency food grant dropping – report

CYF facing ‘unfunded cost pressures’ of millions, Government admits

Lifeline faces closure as Government rejects pleas for funding

Suicide rates highest since records began

Rap along with Michelle now:

Thank heavens for our lives
Living in John Key’s paradise
We want to spend our lives
Living in John Key’s paradise
Keep spending most of our lives
Living in John Key’s paradise
We’re happy for our lives
Living in John Key’s paradise…

83 comments on “John Key’s Paradise ”

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  1. Skinny 1
    6 November 2016 at 9:12 am

    Natcorp rapper Botox Boag took #pussyriot off the stage yesterday with her toxic version of Living In Paradise.

    I figure it was the early release of their 2017 election campaign song. Wonder what slim shady and his lawyers think?

  2. Tony Veitch (not the partner-bashing 3rd rate broadcaster 2
    6 November 2016 at 9:18 am

    OMG, I couldn’t watch that ‘performance’ right through!

    Self-delusion is alive and well in Key’s paradise!

    • r0b 2.1
      6 November 2016 at 9:25 am

      I have done many things for “the cause”, but listening to that long enough to transcribe the chorus was probably the most painful.

      • Skinny 2.1.1
        6 November 2016 at 9:44 am

        Your a good man rOb. My dog nipped at my hand to kill it, she is very sensitive around hysterical behaviour and sounds. Rewarded her with a treat for saving me from the sufferance.

      • Lanthanide 2.1.2
        6 November 2016 at 10:26 am

        I gave up at the 2nd line of the chorus.

        And what a shit chorus it is, too! They sound like victims of a cult.

      • Tony Veitch (not the partner-bashing 3rd rate broadcaster 2.1.3
        6 November 2016 at 3:28 pm

        Reminds me of the last lines of A Tale of Two Cities: “It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done . . ”

        Your sacrifice, rOb, is appreciated – but not much!

  3. BM 3
    6 November 2016 at 9:48 am

    On par with the gambler, terrible.

  6. Red Hand 6
    6 November 2016 at 9:57 am

    “Hard work and education built this land”. Hard work despoiling and overexploiting it’s resources, training it’s young to scorn the unprofitable.

  7. mosa 7
    6 November 2016 at 10:22 am

    Who let Miss Boag out of her coffin ?

    Whats going on with the great NZ National party, they know they have a fourth term in the bag yet they are letting members of the family out on day release to do stupid things.

    Maybe the arrogance is getting the better of them , for National thats not unusual.

    Paradise indeed.

    • Rob 7.1
      6 November 2016 at 11:06 am

      Perhaps they are a bit like the All Blacks
      A little full of themselves

    • Richard Rawshark 7.2
      6 November 2016 at 11:37 am

      There’s nothing more hysterical than old people trying to act like they were, current with youth..

      She should really go the whole hog though. like, always good to say, like, a lot in a sentence like, you know, like

      Terms like, you know like.

      Do I look bovered.. always great for the kids..like

      Pokémon, she should grab a one and wander the streets connecting with the youth of NZ..likey lots

      She really could do so much good for National.. if she just tried a little harder..

      as for arrogance, that was amusing.

      When John said this year my party will not be arrogant, like, he really meant they will.

      add it too his list of lies.

  8. Lanthanide 8
    6 November 2016 at 10:27 am

    …and the media mocked the Greens for morris dancing?

    • Richard Rawshark 8.1
      6 November 2016 at 11:31 am

      Sadly , god would condemn that, if he were real.

    • Psycho Milt 8.2
      7 November 2016 at 4:57 pm

      …and the media mocked the Greens for morris dancing?

      The Greens’ morris dancing was funny. This… isn’t. Labour should arrange plausibly-deniable mass distribution of it next year with the message “These people are running your country.”

  9. Robert Guyton 9
    6 November 2016 at 10:29 am

    If I were a National Party strategist, I’d be embedding the meme “New Zealand is Paradise” into the minds of voters by having my media puppets (Henry et al) repeat it over and over and over, so that as the election nears, it could be used as a swift and well-honed weapon against anyone has anything negative to say about how the country is going, ’cause by then, everybody will know that NewZealandisParadise ™, ’cause Paul Henry said so! When Boag drives the point home and we are infuriated, she and I (Natty strategist) and the rest of our horrid crew will cackle and crow, as is our wont.

    • Lanthanide 9.1
      6 November 2016 at 12:47 pm

      It’s already a nice fallback for the right whenever someone criticises the government – “we’re doing a lot better than the rest of the developed world!”.

      • Draco T Bastard 9.1.1
        6 November 2016 at 3:39 pm

        And we’re rapidly heading, under nations Divine Guidance, to be doing as well as the undeveloped world. Families living in cars is just the start.

  10. woodpecker 10
    6 November 2016 at 10:42 am

    Off topic a little.
    But I look at the list of links, plus record national debt, plus proceeds from assett sales and have to ask the question. Where the fuck has the money gone?

    • Richard Rawshark 10.1
      6 November 2016 at 12:35 pm

      Good question and I said that a while ago, not cou8nting the 100 billion he borrows yep billions.
      Who knows we need a new government to find out!.

      A new justice system and a new GG and AG with fkn integrity

      and remember all those kids they chucked in dark rooms? if they get caught out and did pinch money, i’ll see them in there till they die .

    • Draco T Bastard 10.2
      6 November 2016 at 3:40 pm

      To the rich.

      How else do you explain their increase in wealth to 60% of NZ?

      • Richard Rawshark 10.2.1
        6 November 2016 at 5:10 pm

        Lol I bet they toast each other with that at special NAT superior elite snobs only parties.

        what ho…toasties old boys…

        “to the rich” haw haw haw.. mutter mutterr

  11. chris73 11
    6 November 2016 at 11:14 am

    Dear lord, first the ABs lose and now this…when will politicians learn that its never a good idea to try to sing…especially if you think it’s going to be amusing

  12. Richard Rawshark 12
    6 November 2016 at 11:30 am

    The who lost? Oh dear,, are they popular? these sports types?

    good job.

    As for Boag why were a bunch of OLD people doing there? Under the National Banner tim Shadbolt? The speaker, Some dickhead comedian..

    If that’s Nationals support base who’s backing Winston? IE they were OLDER than my favorite undies.

  13. ianmac 13
    6 November 2016 at 11:48 am

    Michelle? Grotesque!

  14. Stuart Munro 14
    6 November 2016 at 11:52 am

    Boag’s song will make a splendid base for an attack ad 🙂

    • chris73 14.1
      6 November 2016 at 12:03 pm

      Thats my worry about this, we all remember the Gambler tragedy and this is just as bad 🙁

      • Richard Rawshark 14.1.1
        6 November 2016 at 12:29 pm

        Chris I may have been over seas enlighten me too this gambler tradgedy

          • Richard Rawshark 14.1.1.1.1
            6 November 2016 at 4:56 pm

            OMFG… seriously.. oMFGOOOOOOOD.

            I don’t know wither to thank you for linking that now, or hunt you down and murder you BM.

            • BM 14.1.1.1.1.1
              6 November 2016 at 5:03 pm

              It’s a shocker and thought it would never be eclipsed when it comes to cringe factor, but it’s now got some serious competition with Boags effort.

              • Richard Rawshark …
                6 November 2016 at 5:06 pm

                I’m trying to think of a positive, but damn that’s a disgrace.

                I’d actually tie that, 4 labour ladies vs 1 Tory rich bitch.. evens.

              • Sacha …
                6 November 2016 at 10:44 pm

                and to think folk were agitated about morris dancing compared with that spectacle.

    • Gavin 14.2
      6 November 2016 at 12:08 pm

      Agreed, that could be part of a new Planet Key video. Painful to watch it, but the lyrics are the real crime.

      “We’ve got the money, We have the power” – unfortunately that’s true, and the left will need a fair bit of marketing cash to change the government in 2017. Not impossible if everyone clubs in.

    • Richard Rawshark 14.3
      6 November 2016 at 12:18 pm

      So stripping it down, what she’s saying is NZ is great if your a crooked criminal gang member and it all thanks too John key?

    • Takere 14.4
      6 November 2016 at 1:39 pm

      You sneaky bugga! Haha! I like it!

  15. Ffloyd 15
    6 November 2016 at 12:05 pm

    Just watched Boag …..rapping? How embarrassing. Felt very sorry for the Old Boag. She needs to be put out to pasture in her johnkeys Paradise. Bet Max is cross they didn’t get him to do it.

    • Cinny 15.1
      6 November 2016 at 12:13 pm

      LOLOLZ no no, Maxy is too busy working out how to ride a woman. Turns out he’s just discovered that women ride men and never ever the other way around. Oh dang burn

      Sorry couldn’t help myself, it’s so hard not to be too cheeky sometimes. lmao

    • Richard Rawshark 15.2
      6 November 2016 at 12:13 pm

      LOLZ max Nice one that, ouch

  16. Rosemary McDonald 16
    6 November 2016 at 12:05 pm

    Think, folks.

    This is clearly the work of desperate people.

    People who really, really believe that if one repeats the same false words often enough, the words become truth.

    Michele Boag bullshitted on Giggles With Jim on how she had to pay for her varsity education….and if she call what she does ‘work’, it shows how divorced from reality she is.

    Truly awful stuff.

    Thanks heaps for ruining Sunday rOb.

    • r0b 16.1
      6 November 2016 at 12:37 pm

      > Thanks heaps for ruining Sunday rOb.

      The pleasure was all mine!

    • Chuck 16.2
      6 November 2016 at 2:56 pm

      Can”t stand Boag myself…but hey she got up on stage. And is now providing a heap of laughs for all and sundry.

      However how anyone could come up with this – “This is clearly the work of desperate people.”

      Please do tell Rosemary McDonald… do you mean “desperate” because the Nat’s are short on cash for next year’s election? or because they are only 48% in the polls? or something else?

      Or do you mean Boag is desperate to become a rapper? which makes better sense 🙂

      • adam 16.2.1
        6 November 2016 at 3:07 pm

        Reaching for polls, is all poor Chucky can do, as he to scared to actually talk real people, and ask the hard questions.

        Bet you walk past the homeless think they are scum ah Chucky?

        So back to the serious question, do you beat children or support the rights of those who do?

        • Chuck 16.2.1.1
          6 November 2016 at 3:23 pm

          “So back to the serious question, do you beat children or support the rights of those who do?”

          Seems you have a fascination with beating kids adam…get some professional help.

          “Bet you walk past the homeless think they are scum ah Chucky?”

          And this just reinforces the fact that you are not well…and seem to find pleasure from those type of statements.

          • adam 16.2.1.1.1
            6 November 2016 at 4:17 pm

            Come on Chucky answer the question, I can’t make it any simpler – you keep avoiding a very simple question – do you have somthing to hide?

            I’ve supported Sue and her law change, for a while. You on the other hand seem to think it OK to bring up loony anti-smacking talk. So lets get back to the question shall we. Do you beat children or support the rights of those who do?

            I would have though a simple no would have been the most appropriate answer, and the simplest, but you deem to attack me for asking a very simple question. Also you have avoided a no for almost two days now – I can only think you deem it OK to beat children, or support those who do.

      • Rosemary McDonald 16.2.2
        6 November 2016 at 3:13 pm

        Well, the noise, the movement….suggestive of a drowning person.

        The look on Carter’s face…could that be a smile…more like a grimace of embarrassment.

        Is that the sound of straws being clutched I hear?

        Nah, to me, this smacks of an attempt to regain some lost ground by ripping off (Not National! Surely?!) a rap classic.

        Now, why? (Or maybe, “Why now”)

        If we are to believe the polls (Which I don’t btw) National simply can’t lose the next election.

        Something has spooked them….only possible reason for such a desperately pathetic stunt. (And this one Chuck, mate, will stick like shit to the proverbial.)

        It’ll come out one day….the truth…like scum it will float to the top.

    • adam 16.3
      6 November 2016 at 3:15 pm

      Go read the “The Essential Forest-Gardener – tools of the trade” Rosemary McDonald, it will pick you right up after this torrid post for a out of touch national government.

      • Rosemary McDonald 16.3.1
        6 November 2016 at 7:37 pm

        I’ve been following RG’s posts, and find myself suffering from a touch of echium envy.

        But I will look into cow parsley as a solution to my elymus problem!

    • Richard Rawshark 16.4
      6 November 2016 at 5:04 pm

      So we point at John and say Corrupt. and again, and again.. every time one of us that can without consequences.. blogs commenting, we can all do our bit.

      Payback for their saying we’re a bunch of commies and long over due.

  17. Cinny 17
    6 November 2016 at 12:10 pm

    LMFAO !!!!!!!!!! I thought you fella’s were joking, not even owwwww. Oh dang that is just wrong on so many levels, can we please add ‘arrested for crimes against eyebrows” to that list?

    How shameful, there ain’t nothing cool or hip about dat wanna be gangster.

    OMG this is gonna be gold to exploit. Thanks Michelle for letting the side down, you’ve really out done yourself this time.

    ROFL am still laughing… cause why is Michelle so blind to see, that she’s not relevant, no matter how much she wants to be.

  18. Joy FL 18
    6 November 2016 at 12:47 pm

    Please can a few people save copies of this before Boag and natters sober up and make it disappear from the Internet

    • Richard Rawshark 18.1
      6 November 2016 at 5:01 pm

      Sober is not a Tory state of mind Joy. Only a completely pissed as a fart arse would do that. Hi Michelle!

  19. Ad 19
    6 November 2016 at 1:06 pm

    If Labour just go all “Once Were Warriors” intro track on us, it will suck even worse.

  20. adam 20
    6 November 2016 at 1:09 pm

    Well at least they being honest – The Tory scum that is.

    The National Party have turned the country in to a white gangsters paradise.

    You could have added the free residence for these criminals, the tax breaks, and most of all the ability to hide their money in a tax haven which as John Key keeps saying is not a tax haven. (Funny how the Europeans keep disagreeing with him on that)

  21. Takere 21
    6 November 2016 at 1:24 pm

    Auckland National Party (One of the Covert) Mayoralty Campaign Manager(s)! Say no more! What a disgrace!
    Her and Sue Wood are arguing over who was the “Official” manager after the loss. Neither of them want to own up!! Lol!

  22. repateet 22
    6 November 2016 at 2:31 pm

    When I saw “Michelle Boag” I assumed there would be a crime against something or a lot of things. When I saw a “crime against music, dance, fashion, and irony” I thought why not just bundle those and the deserved rest, as a crime against humanity?

  23. mary_a 23
    6 November 2016 at 3:13 pm

    Painful and very scary!

    Wasn’t Boag a bit late for Halloween celebrations? That toxic haridan could haunt a haunted house without even trying!

  24. smilin 24
    6 November 2016 at 4:02 pm

    another nat legend in its own lunchtime

  25. Thinkerr 25
    6 November 2016 at 6:13 pm

    Hope they paid the publisher the appropriate fee for use of the song at a fundraiser…

  26. Stuart Munro 26
    6 November 2016 at 7:05 pm

    I guess if the Gnats start working the line NZ is paradise, the Left get to use this:

  27. Wensleydale 27
    6 November 2016 at 8:03 pm

    I’m not a religious man, but should I die and go to Hell for my sins, I suspect there’s a small damp chamber awaiting me, where I’ll be manacled to a chair and forced to listen to Michelle “Handbag Face” Boag shrieking at me for the rest of forever.

    Incidentally, hearing her claim her opponents were “telling lies” was both sad and hilarious in equal measure. If you locked that woman in a room full of mirrors, she’d melt.

  28. pat 28
    6 November 2016 at 10:28 pm

    As theres no daily review this appears to be the logical thread to post this on……paradise is so easily lost.

    ‘To scholars it’s known as “the mixed economy”, the combination of dynamic free markets, effective government, and a strong labor movement that characterizes the world’s most prosperous nations. Strict laissez-faire capitalism created extraordinary wealth in late 19th- and early 20th-century America. It also created extraordinary concentrations of economic and political power that threatened to undermine democracy, along with such virulent side-effects as frequent bank panics, wild vacillations of boom and bust, extreme social and income inequality, and monopoly control of major industries. The Gilded Age robber barons – the Goulds, the Vanderbilts, the Morgans and Rockefellers – did quite well under laissez-faire. Most of the rest of Americans were still stuck in the ditch, with little to no economic security, life expectancy of roughly 45 years and horrific infant mortality rates that claimed 300 babies per 1,000 in the cities.”

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/nov/05/the-big-con-what-is-really-at-stake-on-election-day

    a sobering read.

  29. Guerilla Surgeon 29
    7 November 2016 at 4:43 pm

    I’m late to this, and no doubt someone’s said it already – but the thought of Michelle Boag singing fills me with horror. Actually the thought of Michelle Boag fills me with horror.

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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago

  • Stronger oversight for our most vulnerable children
    The rights of our children and young people will be enhanced by changes the coalition Government will make to strengthen oversight of the Oranga Tamariki system, including restoring a single Children’s Commissioner. “The Government is committed to delivering better public services that care for our most at-risk young people and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago

  • Streamlining Building Consent Changes
    The Government is making it easier for minor changes to be made to a building consent so building a home is easier and more affordable, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says.      “The coalition Government is focused on making it easier and cheaper to build homes so we can ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago

  • Minister acknowledges passing of Sir Robert Martin (KNZM)
    New Zealand lost a true legend when internationally renowned disability advocate Sir Robert Martin (KNZM) passed away at his home in Whanganui last night, Disabilities Issues Minister Louise Upston says. “Our Government’s thoughts are with his wife Lynda, family and community, those he has worked with, the disability community in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago

  • Speech to New Zealand Institute of International Affairs, Parliament – Annual Lecture: Challenges ...
    Good evening –   Before discussing the challenges and opportunities facing New Zealand’s foreign policy, we’d like to first acknowledge the New Zealand Institute of International Affairs. You have contributed to debates about New Zealand foreign policy over a long period of time, and we thank you for hosting us.  ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago

  • Accelerating airport security lines
    From today, passengers travelling internationally from Auckland Airport will be able to keep laptops and liquids in their carry-on bags for security screening thanks to new technology, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. “Creating a more efficient and seamless travel experience is important for holidaymakers and businesses, enabling faster movement through ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago

  • Community hui to talk about kina barrens
    People with an interest in the health of Northland’s marine ecosystems are invited to a public meeting to discuss how to deal with kina barrens, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. Mr Jones will lead the discussion, which will take place on Friday, 10 May, at Awanui Hotel in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago

  • Kiwi exporters win as NZ-EU FTA enters into force
    Kiwi exporters are $100 million better off today with the NZ EU FTA entering into force says Trade Minister Todd McClay. “This is all part of our plan to grow the economy. New Zealand's prosperity depends on international trade, making up 60 per cent of the country’s total economic activity. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago

  • Mining resurgence a welcome sign
    There are heartening signs that the extractive sector is once again becoming an attractive prospect for investors and a source of economic prosperity for New Zealand, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. “The beginnings of a resurgence in extractive industries are apparent in media reports of the sector in the past ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago

  • Ō-Rākau Remembrance Bill passes first reading
    The return of the historic Ō-Rākau battle site to the descendants of those who fought there moved one step closer today with the first reading of Te Pire mō Ō-Rākau, Te Pae o Maumahara / The Ō-Rākau Remembrance Bill. The Bill will entrust the 9.7-hectare battle site, five kilometres west ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago

  • Government to boost public EV charging network
    Energy Minister Simeon Brown has announced 25 new high-speed EV charging hubs along key routes between major urban centres and outlined the Government’s plan to supercharge New Zealand’s EV infrastructure.  The hubs will each have several chargers and be capable of charging at least four – and up to 10 ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago

  • Residential Property Managers Bill to not progress
    The coalition Government will not proceed with the previous Government’s plans to regulate residential property managers, Housing Minister Chris Bishop says. “I have written to the Chairperson of the Social Services and Community Committee to inform him that the Government does not intend to support the Residential Property Managers Bill ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago

  • Independent review into disability support services
    The Government has announced an independent review into the disability support system funded by the Ministry of Disabled People – Whaikaha. Disability Issues Minister Louise Upston says the review will look at what can be done to strengthen the long-term sustainability of Disability Support Services to provide disabled people and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago

  • Justice Minister updates UN on law & order plan
    Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith has attended the Universal Periodic Review in Geneva and outlined the Government’s plan to restore law and order. “Speaking to the United Nations Human Rights Council provided us with an opportunity to present New Zealand’s human rights progress, priorities, and challenges, while responding to issues and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago

  • Ending emergency housing motels in Rotorua
    The Government and Rotorua Lakes Council are committed to working closely together to end the use of contracted emergency housing motels in Rotorua. Associate Minister of Housing (Social Housing) Tama Potaka says the Government remains committed to ending the long-term use of contracted emergency housing motels in Rotorua by the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago

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