Key’s Top Ten

Written By: - Date published: 12:15 pm, September 25th, 2009 - 57 comments
Categories: brand key - Tags:

Obviously, the most important thing ever is how John Key did on Letterman.

It’s quite cute actually, Key’s clearly a bit nervous standing out on the big stage. It really does remind you that we’re a little country. But Letterman’s very nice, although he does forget why Key’s there for a moment. He knows we’re near Tasmania but not what ocean that’s in.

It’s funny how Key Americanises his accent, hard r and a twang. As a lot of people who’ve lived overseas will know, the easiest way to make our accent intelligible is to do the American r and Key’s lived in New York, of course. He’s still quite hard to understand though.

The Top ten are quite good:

57 comments on “Key’s Top Ten ”

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  1. Bright Red 1
    25 September 2009 at 12:21 pm

    huh. I thought there would be an interview. Seems kind of weird just to come on to do the Top Ten.

    Still, well done the writers, some of them are funny.

  2. gobsmacked 2
    25 September 2009 at 12:29 pm

    Pretty average Top Ten, considering their team of writers (not Key’s fault). But nobody knows anything about NZ in NY, so not much to work with.

    Watch 7 days on TV3 tonight, for better (and dirtier) Kiwi jokes.

  3. IrishBill 3
    25 September 2009 at 12:30 pm

    Oh for christ’s sake. I thought he was getting an interview too. Reading the top ten is the kind of thing they get Brittany Spears to do in a bikini. Without an interview it’s a freakshow spot. Key has no dignity.

  4. gobsmacked 4
    25 September 2009 at 12:37 pm

    What makes me laugh is all this “great exposure for NZ tourism” hype.

    So the audience is told it’s a 20 hour flight. Thanks!

    (Incidentally, the real boost for NZ tourism came from screen successes from the likes of Lord of the Rings and Whale Rider and Conchords … bloody arty-farty types with funding from the back office bureaucrats)

    • Tim Ellis 4.1
      25 September 2009 at 1:50 pm

      GS, I don’t think Lord of the Rings or flight of the conchords were funded by New Zealand bureaucrats.

      • gobsmacked 4.1.1
        25 September 2009 at 2:00 pm

        FYI Tim:

        “Investment New Zealand, Tourism New Zealand, Wellington City Council and New Zealand Trade and Enterprise were involved in the world premiere of The Lord of The Rings: The Return of The King in Wellington in December 2003 and in worldwide publicity and leveraging of the event.

        Their contribution was endorsed when Director Peter Jackson thanked the New Zealand Government and local councils in his speech at the Oscars® ceremony.”

        You might recall those Oscar speeches, Tim, and Billy Crystal’s running commentary (“It’s offical, everyone in New Zealand has now been thanked”). Without exaggeration, those several years of publicity had approximately one thousand times the global impact of a single spot on Letterman.

      • felix 4.1.2
        25 September 2009 at 2:03 pm

        Then you’d be wrong.

        Actually a lot of money was spent by NZ bureaucrats throughout the careers of the creators of both LOTR and FOTC to get them to a position where they were able to able to play on the international stage.

      • Bright Red 4.1.3
        25 September 2009 at 2:09 pm

        Tim. You’re really off your game today. Wayne will be breathing down your neck.

        Lord of the Rings got up to $200 million in tax breaks.

      • Rob 4.1.4
        25 September 2009 at 2:32 pm

        You are exactly correct, they only started funding once they realised it was going to be huge. There was no seeding or any other start up money gifted. The back office types were more focussed upon investing in other releases which we cannot remember now…oh yeah I think “Perfect Strangers” was one, I went to to the premier of it and it pretty much went straight to video, but that is another story.

        • felix 4.1.4.1
          25 September 2009 at 3:03 pm

          You do realise LOTR wasn’t Peter’s first film, don’t you?

          • Rob 4.1.4.1.1
            25 September 2009 at 4:05 pm

            Wow, that is news , you mean he did other things before LOTR. I thought he just convinced a major studio to let him go to town on a legendary piece of fiction that they had paid millions to secure the film rights on…..

            • felix 4.1.4.1.1.1
              25 September 2009 at 6:40 pm

              The point being that in NZ, creative enterprises don’t get to that level without a metric shit-ton of funding and assistance over many, many years.

              Which is why the original comment from gobsmacked holds water and the disingenuous reply from “Tim Ellis” doesn’t.

              Thanks for helping me make the point.

  5. felix 5
    25 September 2009 at 12:39 pm

    You can see why he compares himself to Obama, can’t you?

  6. Tigger 6
    25 September 2009 at 12:41 pm

    New Zealand is a wonderland…

    Not for long – wait until Gerry mines the crap out of the countryside…there’ll be nothing left to wonder about…

  7. ak 7
    25 September 2009 at 12:51 pm

    Talk about lame. Best opportunity ever to promote NZ and the slippery tongue gets stage fright. A step down from wooden, must have been the rent-a-crowd. “Why is he here Paul?”

    Lines obviously written by Key’s people – reeking of geekish right-wing wit vacuum – and the No 1 best they could do? “Unlike the rest of the world we still like americans”

    Say whaaat? Needy mixed messages or what…..

  8. Wackey Leftie 8
    25 September 2009 at 12:53 pm

    What a let down.

    I squirmed a little at the “loosest slot machines in the Pacific”

    I did laugh at a few others, but a bit of a poor showing.

  9. Seti 9
    25 September 2009 at 1:08 pm

    The Top 10 on Letterman has always been lame. A chuckle is very seldom when I manage to catch it. Definitely wasn’t expecting any real knee-slappers, as some clearly were.

    At least a couple of million Mericans now know we’re English speaking

  10. Daveski 10
    25 September 2009 at 1:13 pm

    Not as bad as I expect … and I was talking about the Standard’s view of the “event”.

    Actually, eddie’s quite fair for once. I do agree it’s nothing to get excited about but any PR is better than none.

  11. richard 11
    25 September 2009 at 1:18 pm

    I correctly predicted a month ago that they would need to use subtitles. Still he didn’t embarass himself, so I suppose no harm done. Hardly the mega-exposure opportunity that it was hyped as though.

  12. StephenR 12
    25 September 2009 at 1:21 pm

    He came across very positively and friendly – Americans love NZers already, if nothing else this will probably reinforce that perception.

  13. Zaphod Beeblebrox 13
    25 September 2009 at 1:26 pm

    Can he get a spot on John Stewart? That would be funny.

  14. Ianmac 14
    25 September 2009 at 1:32 pm

    Having often watched Letterman I thought that in this case he was pretty off-hand with Key. I felt a bit sorry for Key actually.

  15. bobo 15
    25 September 2009 at 1:33 pm

    Like it at the end where Letterman almost says New England 🙂

  16. Tim Ellis 16
    25 September 2009 at 1:54 pm

    I agree Eddie it was a reasonable performance.

    The top 10 is a soft spot that’s meant to be light hearted.

  17. felix 17
    25 September 2009 at 2:00 pm

    Just to be clear:

    When people talk about the “PR value” of this little excersise do they mean it’s good PR for Key, aimed at us back here in NZ?

    Or do people actually think there’s some value for us in having our PM giggling like a tongue-tied schoolgirl on an international TV show?

  19. exbrethren 19
    25 September 2009 at 2:33 pm

    11. For a nostalgia trip come and visit a country where the current leader struggles with English.

  20. willaspish 20
    25 September 2009 at 2:42 pm

    The politics, lifestyle and entertainment sections of the NZ MSM have just morphed into one big, fat, dumbed-down Sunday supplement. Doesn’t this guy have a proper job he should be doing?

    Go back to bed NZ, your government is in control.

    • BLiP 20.1
      25 September 2009 at 3:03 pm

      Yep – the trade deficit is $725 million worse than expected and the Aussie banks are about to put New Zealand into liquidation.

      But, hey, The Goober was on US television so who cares about little things like the economy so long as we’ve got all these lovely warm fuzzies?

  21. greenfly 21
    25 September 2009 at 3:57 pm

    Loosest slot machines in the Pacific? Come on guys, you’re pulling my chain!
    You know it’s a reference to our women!
    Go John Key, ya pimp!

  22. Victor 22
    25 September 2009 at 4:10 pm

    just watched the show here in NY .. .

    Other leaders to get mention, Gadaffi and Ahmadinejad . ..

    After Key was done, and commercials on quitting smoking, Letterman then subsequently went onto introduce Craig Ferguson as the first ‘guest’. .. .So what was John Key?

    Without being a wet blanket, it was a touch demeaning .. .Should be a ‘guest’ or nothing. And if not a guest, one comes across as a bit of a clown .. .

  24. Anthony Karinski 24
    25 September 2009 at 5:58 pm

    For once I got to say that JK probably did a better job than HC would have done.

  25. Deemac 25
    25 September 2009 at 9:08 pm

    not sure it’s tactful to point out most people in the world hate your hosts!

  26. deWithiel 26
    25 September 2009 at 9:57 pm

    Well, it is possible to put all this Key in New York stuff into a certain perspective just by looking at, oh, I don’t know, maybe what the New York papers report: http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/09/24/obamas-red-carpet-up-close-and-personal/?hp
    Funny that; no mention of our very own grinning clown.

  27. Irascible 27
    26 September 2009 at 3:37 am

    Off key, off the screen, cringe-making and a tribute to spin that the NZ media thought this was an important and high key part of the trip to NY. Tom Scott had it right. Key is a political clown.

  28. the pinkpostman 28
    26 September 2009 at 2:20 pm

    I cannot understand how Key made so much money.The Guys an overgrown kid. however I have worked bloody hard all my working life .I dont drink and I dont smoke My wifeand I own a modest house and I now live on the Super,Nothing wrong with that but I look at what Key has and I wonder how it is so ?
    Regardless, we in Aotearoa are now condemed to being ruled by a Right-Wing government led by an over excited inmature man.
    He’s government is becoming boged down with bumbing and sleaze. A good example is the rorts being carried out by English. We still have no idea why Worth was sacked will we ever.? Then dispite the outrage we had from National regarding the overspending at the last election the Nats still have not paid the GST they owe the taxe department . When will that be paid if ever and how much longer are these bandits going to enjoy there undeserved honey-moon.

    • BLiP 28.1
      26 September 2009 at 3:49 pm

      Basically, John Key was a part of the crew which looted Thailand and set off the 1997 Asian Economic Crisis. You can see his $50 million was actually just chump change when you learn the actual amounts involved.

      It is believed that financial speculators, led by some hedge funds, were responsible for the original “trigger action” in Thailand. The Thai government used up over US$20 billion of foreign reserves to ward off speculative attacks. Speculators are believed to have borrowed and sold Thai baht, receiving US dollars in exchange.

      If you’re looking for details and a good place to start checking the facts, start here. Wait till you see what they’ve got in store for New Zealand.

    • gitmo 28.2
      26 September 2009 at 5:22 pm

      “boged down with bumbing and sleaze”

      Ha ha ha ha ha comedy gold.

      Though on a more serious note clearly key is Satan or at the very least Beezlebub.

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