Latest poll is good/bad for Labour/National/Winston

Written By: - Date published: 7:00 pm, July 23rd, 2013 - 32 comments
Categories: polls, spin - Tags:

A Mumble News poll published last night [confirms/refutes] the trend seen in recent weeks [in favour of/against] David Shearer.

This is a [great result/terrible result] for the [embattled/inspirational/total failure of a] leader, who has [faced criticism/received praise] [in the press/on the blogs] over his [decision/lack of decisive action] [in support of/opposing] [controversial/mainstream] policies.

[It clearly reflects the impact of !event / It is obvious that !event has had no impact] on people’s perceptions.

Previous polls have shown he has [gained traction/failed to gain any traction] against [the Prime Minister/the Greens/Winston Peters], and is [set to lead Labour/incapable of leading Labour] to an [historic/marginal/Pyrrhic] [victory/defeat] in 2014, in coalition with the [Greens/Mana/NZ First/ALCP].

This result just confirms everything I’ve been saying.  David Shearer is the [best man/worst man] to lead the Labour Party.  The public of New Zealand [are behind him/despise him/don’t know who he is] and he’s [putting forward great Labour policies which are capturing people’s imaginations / stumbling drunkenly from failure to failure].

Everyone who’s said that the polls show otherwise should apologise right now.  Their opinions just aren’t supported by the numbers.  It’s now clear that David Shearer [has momentum/is dead in the water], and everyone must unite behind [him/David Cunliffe/Shane Jones/Hone Harawira].

Ofcourseit’sjustonepollandit’sreallythelongtermtrendthatmatters.

32 comments on “Latest poll is good/bad for Labour/National/Winston ”

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  1. RedLogix 1
    23 July 2013 at 7:23 pm

    [Whoopee/fck]

  2. lurgee 2
    23 July 2013 at 7:24 pm

    “… he’s [putting forward great Labour policies which are capturing people’s imaginations / stumbling drunkenly from failure to failure]” should read “… he’s [putting forward great Labour policies which are capturing people’s imaginations / stumbling drunkenly from failure to failure / being continually sabotaged and undermined by self interested wreckers in caucus who won’t actually make a whit of difference no matter how much their supporters on blogs like to think otherwise]”?

    The fact the polls are dire is only a little bit Shearer’s fault. It is mostly John Key’s fault as he’s managed to avoid almost all the censure and contempt due to him; mostly because the Labour party seems intent on disembowelling itself.

    • QoT 2.1
      23 July 2013 at 8:20 pm

      The fact the polls are fantastic is only a little bit the Greens’ fault. It is mostly Colin Craig’s fault as he’s managed to attract almost all the praise due to him; mostly because the Mana party seems intent on building itself up.

  3. Colonial Viper 3
    23 July 2013 at 7:29 pm

    You have solid career prospects in this field, QoT.

  4. King Kong 4
    23 July 2013 at 8:17 pm

    [QoT: Sorry, you don’t get to ruin my fun tonight.]

  5. George D 5
    23 July 2013 at 8:26 pm

    This is why The Standard is [great/terrible].

  6. Paul 6
    23 July 2013 at 8:41 pm

    And because of these good/bad results for Tweedledee/Tweedledum, we are expecting you to vote for/not vote as you can see the Tweedledee Party is likely to win.
    Now go back to sleep, New Zealand. X Factor is on and that’s something we like to see you voting on.

  7. George D 7
    23 July 2013 at 8:44 pm

    This poll proves that the “man ban” [is desperately needed/places ideology ahead of success] and that [Shearer/those who proposed it] should [resign/ignore criticism].

    • QoT 7.1
      23 July 2013 at 8:53 pm

      I [totally agree with this comment/think this comment is ridiculous] and further [wish to subscribe to your newsletter/can’t believe the mods allow this kind of derailing.]

  8. ianmac 8
    23 July 2013 at 9:10 pm

    Brilliant I say! In just one post QoT you have covered every brand and every expert commentators livelihood is now defunct. Take that whaleoil and John Armstrong and trotter. You are all fired.
    And what is more endless carping about Leadership on the Standard is now rendered obsolete. A new dawn is upon us! Born again! Alleluia!

    • QoT 8.1
      23 July 2013 at 9:22 pm

      Shit. I haven’t done myself out of a job, have I?

      • Colonial Viper 8.1.1
        23 July 2013 at 9:46 pm

        You just have to set up an AI engine to automate the process, then sit back and let the Google ad royalties roll in.

  9. Rosetinted 9
    23 July 2013 at 9:42 pm

    Very well put QoT. A very clear exposition of the position at this point in time or perhaps next year – confusing.

    One might ask – if it is so confusing, is it quantum politics?
    1. A theory in physics based on the principle that matter and energy have the properties of both particles and waves, created to explain the radiation of energy from a blackbody, the photoelectric effect, and the Bohr theory, and now used to account for a wide range of physical phenomena, including the existence of discrete packets of energy and matter, the uncertainty principle, and the exclusion principle.

    Or perhaps one should bring the Uncertainty principle to bear:
    Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle relates to how we affect a particle we’re attempting to measure. Learn about Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle.

    Frankly, I would posit that it is. But then perhaps chaos theory could apply.
    Chaos theory is the study of nonlinear dynamics, in which seemingly random events are actually predictable from simple deterministic equations.

    • QoT 9.1
      23 July 2013 at 11:05 pm

      I’m going with 1, and the waveform collapses on election day.

      • McFlock 9.1.1
        23 July 2013 at 11:29 pm

        And then you find out whether the politician killed the cat in the box.

        • Bob 9.1.1.1
          24 July 2013 at 8:36 am

          Just read the polls, if they say the politician should have killed schrodinger’s cat, then the cat shall be executed forth with, if polls say people would like the safe release of the cat, then you can expect a quick release and every political party racing to release their own policy to make sure cats never end up being put in boxes again!

          • alwyn 9.1.1.1.1
            24 July 2013 at 9:38 am

            I think that QoT is adopting Everett’s “Many worlds” interpretation of quantum mechanics.
            Everything that can happen does happen, and the universe splits at each possible point where chance says something could happen to a world where the event did happen and one where the other possibility occured..
            Thus in an infinity of possible worlds Labour is leading in the polls and, in fact has won every one of the last twenty elections.
            In an infinity of other worlds, inhabited by the contributers to this blob National won the last two elections and looks likely to win the next.
            If you aren’t happy with this world just keep in mind that in an infinity of other worlds all your dreams are coming true.
            Your commentary of course covers the universe just before it splits.

      • David H 9.1.2
        24 July 2013 at 9:29 am

        I’m going with 2 the Uncertainty principle. The uncertains will just stay home on Election day. And the thieving megalomaniacs will have 3 more years to pillage NZ.

    • Murray Olsen 9.2
      24 July 2013 at 12:23 am

      I’d go for chaos, which according to conventional wisdom, makes it all classical. Quantum mechanics is usually agreed to be linear. The problem is that we don’t know the equations, nor the initial conditions.

  10. keith ross 10
    24 July 2013 at 5:36 am

    great article, the sad thing is that the caucus that support/don’t support the idiot /brilliant leader still get their great pay and perks no matter what. They don’t give a toss, which to me is one of the main problems with the party/fizzer.

  11. Santi 11
    24 July 2013 at 6:24 am

    Very witty and truthful. Congratulations.

  12. Matthew Hooton 12
    24 July 2013 at 6:57 am

    The DimPost will be worried about the competition!
    And the script will be very useful over the next 16 months …

    • QoT 12.1
      24 July 2013 at 7:05 am

      Well there’s more than enough room for a few satirists in the blogosphere, Matthew. And all of that room is taken up by the Civilian.

    • felix 12.2
      24 July 2013 at 8:41 am

      “the script will be very useful over the next 16 months”

      🙄

    • lurgee 12.3
      24 July 2013 at 8:52 am

      Hooton LIES! As ALWAYS! The ‘DimPost’ will not be worried! Hooton IS the DimPost and is promoting it here in violation of RULES! And the ‘Script’ will NOT be useful. And Hooton wrote it and is promoting IT HERE in violation OF site rules! And HOOTON is shamelessly promoting the concept of MONTHS. Tell me, Matthew, are you in anyway involved in months? Do you have any connection, involvement or interest in the calendar or the passage of time?

    • David H 12.4
      24 July 2013 at 9:31 am

      Hootens out of a Job. I am sure QOT can adapt it for right wing horse shit.

      • QoT 12.4.1
        24 July 2013 at 7:02 pm

        I don’t know, David, there’s this really fine line to walk when you’re parodying Matthew. You have to sound like you’re trying to sound really sincere, and almost like you believe your own bullshit, but with the ever-so-slight giveaways that you’re completely insincere.

  13. Tracey 13
    24 July 2013 at 8:42 am

    Fabulous. Clever. Witty. Kudos to you QoT

  14. Brett Dale 14
    24 July 2013 at 10:12 pm

    Faux news does it well.

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