Open mike 26/11/2011
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7:01 pm, November 26th, 2011 - 20 comments
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- Bitch
I'm a bitch, I'm a loverI'm a child, I'm a motherI'm a sinner, I'm a saintI do not feel ashamedI'm your Hell, I'm your dreamI'm nothing in betweenYou know you wouldn't want it any other wayWriters: Shelly Peiken, Meredith BrooksGood morning, all you lovely people. 🙂 A newsletter this morning ...7 hours ago - Property Rights and the Treaty Principles Bill
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The Green Party says the need is greater than ever for Aotearoa New Zealand to pursue an independent foreign policy. ...2 weeks ago
- Child Protection Investigation Unit established
A new Child Protection Investigation Unit is being established to ensure the safety and wellbeing of children in care, Minister for Children Karen Chhour says. âThe report released by the Royal Commission into abuse in state care shows us all the risk of not acting immediately when there are serious ...1 day ago - Speech at United States Business Summit 2024
Ka nui te mihi kia koutou. Ka mihi ki te mana whenua ko NgÄti WhÄtua ĆrÄkei. Kia ora and good morning everyone. Thank you Fran and Simon for inviting me here today, and importantly your leadership of this forum over several years now. I want to acknowledge David Gehrenbeck, Deputy ...1 day ago
- Record number of submissions received on granny flat proposal
Nearly 2,000 submissions have been received on the Governmentâs proposals aimed at making it easier to build a granny flat of up to 60 square metres without a resource or building consent, RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop and Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk say. âThis is the highest number ...1 day ago
- District Court Judge appointed
Attorney-General Judith Collins today announced the appointment of Rebecca Guthrie as a District Court Judge. Judge Guthrie was admitted to the bar in 1997 following her graduation from the University of Canterbury in 1996 (LLB, BA). She commenced her legal career in Hastings in 1997 before moving to London in ...1 day ago
- Appointments strengthen Predator Free 2050
The latest Predator Free 2050 Board appointments will help to strengthen biodiversity efforts across Aotearoa New Zealand, Conservation Minister Tama Potaka says. Mr Potaka today announced two appointments to the Board of Directors of Predator Free 2050 Limited, a key player in the wider Predator Free 2050 Programme. âThe Predator ...1 day ago
- New facility in Christchurch will improve the lives of young New Zealanders
Mental Health Minister Matt Doocey today opened Kahurangi, an innovative and much-needed facility for Canterburyâs Child, Adolescent, and Family Mental Health Services. âThe new state of the art outpatient facility opened today will be a gamechanger for the way mental health is delivered for young people in Canterbury,â says Mr ...1 day ago
- Driver safety screens to be installed on Auckland buses
Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed news from the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) that bus driver protection screens will be installed across Aucklandâs bus fleet by 2026.âThe Government is committed to improving the safety of working environments for bus drivers, and Budget 2024 allocated $15 million of Crown funding over ...1 day ago
- Government action provides Southland farmers more time to meet plan requirements
The Government is taking action to ensure Southland farmers and growers are not affected by unreasonable regional farm plan deadlines, Agriculture Minister Todd McClay, Environment Minister Penny Simmonds and Associate Environment Minister Andrew Hoggard say.âCabinet has agreed to provide more time for farmers and growers to comply with regional rules ...2 days ago
- Bill reaffirms Governmentâs commitment to crack down on serious youth offending
The Oranga Tamariki (Responding to Serious Youth Offending) Bill had its first reading at Parliament today. The Bill reaffirms the Governmentâs commitment to crack down on serious youth offending, Minister for Children Karen Chhour says. âIn recent years we have seen an unacceptable spike in youth offending. âThis Bill makes ...2 days ago
- Critical milestones for earthquake buildings review
Fairer, more sensible rules about managing earthquake risks are a step closer with the passing of legislation and the appointment of an independent chair to provide expert advice, Minister for Building and Construction Chris Penk says. âThe Government is committed to reinvigorating our cities and regions to support economic growth, ...2 days ago
- State of the art radiology machine for Auckland
People in Northland and Auckland will benefit from a new machine for cancer treatment installed at the Regional Cancer and Blood Service at Auckland City Hospital. The MV5 linear accelerator, or LINAC machine, officially opened today targets cancer tumours with pinpoint accuracy. Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says this new, ...2 days ago
- Foreign Minister to visit Europe
Deputy Prime Minister and Foreign Minister Winston Peters will travel to Europe for high-level talks with France, Germany and the United Kingdom next week. "Since taking office almost a year ago, the Coalition Government has emphasised the importance we place on New Zealand's traditional and likeminded diplomatic and ...2 days ago
- First arrests made under gang patch ban
Police have made their first arrests under the new gang patch legislation, with two gang members arrested, says Police Minister Mark Mitchell. âJust before 11 this morning, Police in Wairoa apprehended a gang member for wearing a patch to the supermarket. He has been arrested and will now face enforcement ...2 days ago
- Better support for victims of sexual violence
The Government is proposing two major changes to name suppression laws that will put the views of victims of sexual violence first, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. âWe are committed to restoring law and order and these two proposed changes will help ensure the victims of crime are put at ...2 days ago
- Government moving forward with Regional Deals
Cabinet has agreed to invite all regions to submit proposals for Regional Deals between central and local government that drive economic growth and deliver the infrastructure our country needs, Local Government Minister Simeon Brown and Infrastructure Minister Chris Bishop say. Inviting all regions to propose a Regional Deal that boosts ...2 days ago
- MSA pilot participant update
One of the ten young men selected to participate in the Military-Style Academy Pilot has allegedly reoffended. Childrenâs Minister Karen Chhour is disappointed but says it would be naĂŻve to think that none of these young men would reoffend. âIâm saddened that this young person has not taken this opportunity ...2 days ago
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Associate Education Minister David Seymour says that school attendance is continuing to rise. In Term 3 of 2024 51.3 per cent of students attended school regularly, an increase of 5.3 percentage points from 46 per cent in Term 3 of 2023. âThis Government has prioritised student attendance and it is ...2 days ago
- Improving the lives of young New Zealanders
Ensuring New Zealand is the best place in the world for children and young people is the vision at the heart of the Governmentâs new Child and Youth Strategy, Child Poverty Reduction Minister Louise Upston says. âChildhood represents a huge opportunity to set people on a positive path towards living ...2 days ago
- Government continues work to reinstate livestock exports by sea
The Government is reinstating the trade of livestock exports by sea while ensuring the highest standards of animal welfare, says Associate Minister of Agriculture Andrew Hoggard.âThe Government will introduce legislation changes to reinstate the trade, enhance oversight, and strengthen requirements for exporters to identify risks and manage the welfare of ...3 days ago
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TÄnÄ koutou katoa â it is a pleasure to be here today. I would like to begin by acknowledging the important leadership role you all play in ensuring a quality health system New Zealanders can trust. There is enormous clinical expertise in this room covering a wide range of disciplines. ...3 days ago
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TÄnÄ koutou katoa. Mr President, Excellencies, Delegates. New Zealand, and all nations represented here today, are already dealing with the impacts of climate change. Our households, businesses, and economies are bearing the costs of its effects. The choices we make now will shape the severity of these impacts for generations ...3 days ago
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The Government has released its second Quarterly Investment Report (QIR) which shows substantial work still to be done by agencies to improve investment reporting and meet the Governmentâs expectations, Infrastructure and Acting Finance Minister Chris Bishop says. âNew Zealand has significant infrastructure and investment needs. The Government is determined to get ...3 days ago
- New Zealand supporting loss and damage fund
Climate Change Minister Simon Watts announced New Zealand will contribute NZ$10 million to the new Fund for Responding to Loss and Damage while at the annual United Nations Climate Change Conference (COP29) in Baku, Azerbaijan. âNew Zealand is joining the global effort to address the significant challenge of responding to ...3 days ago
- Gang crackdown begins at stroke of midnight
The free ride for gangs is over when the clock strikes midnight tonight, with tough new laws officially coming into effect, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith and Police Minister Mark Mitchell say. âGang patches will no longer be able to be worn in public. To earn the right to wear a ...3 days ago
- LGFA increases borrowing capacity to support high growth councils
The Government is welcoming the decision by the Local Government Funding Agency to increase access to financing tools for fast growing councils to support greater investment in critical infrastructure, Local Government Minister Simeon Brown says.âCommunities across the country are facing an infrastructure deficit and significant population growth is projected in ...3 days ago
- Temporary Traffic Management costs revealed
The Government has revealed that over the past three years, the New Zealand Transport Agency (NZTA) has spent an eyewatering $786 million of taxpayersâ money on road cones and temporary traffic management (TTM), Transport Minister Simeon Brown says.âWhen I became Minister, I was surprised to learn that that NZTA did ...4 days ago
- Jurisdiction of Disputes Tribunal to double
Legislation that will double the financial jurisdiction of the Disputes Tribunal from $30,000 to $60,000 has passed first reading in Parliament today, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith. âWe need to improve court timeliness and access to justice so that Kiwis and get on with their lives. Court delays affect everyone, the ...4 days ago
- Protecting New Zealand from foreign interference
Legislation that will specifically criminalise foreign interference and strengthen espionage offences has passed first reading in Parliament today, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. âIt is normal and appropriate for states to interact and work to influence one another. This encourages cooperation and can have mutually beneficial outcomes. âHowever, the reality ...4 days ago
- Significant milestone for Canterbury Road of National Significance
Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed news that the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) Board has approved funding towards pre-implementation and early works on the State Highway 1 (SH1) Belfast to Pegasus Motorway and Woodend Bypass Road of National Significance (RoNS). âReaching this significant milestone is a reflection of our Governmentâs ...4 days ago
- Health survey results to help drive change
Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says findings from the annual Health Survey highlight the need to continue driving better health outcomes for New Zealanders. The New Zealand Health Survey is an annual snapshot of key metrics measured from July 2023 â July 2024. Findings released this morning include: In 2023/24, ...4 days ago
- Final push needed to get to Smokefree 2025
A renewed effort to get people to quit smoking will build on what has worked to date and target the groups who most need support, Associate Health Minister Casey Costello said today. âThe latest New Zealand Health Survey results show the daily smoking rate at 6.9 per cent and we ...4 days ago
- New diplomatic appointments
Foreign Affairs Minister Winston Peters has announced four new diplomatic appointments. âOur diplomats play an important role in ensuring New Zealandâs interests are maintained and enhanced across the world,â Mr Peters says. âIt is a pleasure to announce the appointment of these senior diplomats from the Ministry of Foreign ...4 days ago
- Next steps for Regulatory Standards Bill
Regulation Minister David Seymour has today announced the next steps in the Governmentâs plan improve the quality of regulation by opening consultation on a proposed Regulatory Standards Bill. âNew Zealand's low wages can be blamed on low productivity, and low productivity can be blamed on poor regulation,â says Mr Seymour. ...4 days ago
- Red Tape Tipline goes live
Minister for Regulation David Seymour has today announced that the Ministry for Regulationâs Red Tape Tipline is now live. âWe want to hear about your red tape horror stories. From today, New Zealanders will have a say on how they are regulated through an online portal,â says Mr Seymour. The ...4 days ago
- Youth Parliament 2025 announced
The Minister for Youth Matt Doocey has today announced the eleventh Youth Parliament will be taking place in 2025. âYouth Parliament offers a unique youth development opportunity to young people from across New Zealand to experience the political process and learn about how government works,â says Mr Doocey. âThe two-day ...5 days ago
- Police stats show promising change
After nearly a year in Government, Kiwis have seen significant change across law and order with promising early results shown across some Police statistics, says Police Minister Mark Mitchell. âIn August 2023, I told New Zealanders that if they had not started to see a change in public safety within ...5 days ago
- Better coordination of anti-scam efforts
With the launch of Fraud Awareness Week, the Government is committing to new coordination efforts across industry and government to combat online scams, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly says. âOnline financial scams are a growing problem for New Zealand. New data released today shows that Kiwis lost nearly ...5 days ago
- Minister to consider 7AA select committee report
Minister for Children Karen Chhour will consider the recommendations made by the Social Services and Community Committee in its report back to Parliament on the Oranga Tamariki (Repeal of Section 7AA) Amendment Bill. âI want to thank the people who made submissions and those who appeared before the committee in ...5 days ago
- Defence Minister to attend ASEAN meeting
Defence Minister Judith Collins will this week attend the Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN) Defence Ministersâ Meeting-Plus in Vientiane, Laos. âWe need to take every opportunity to engage with our international partners, given the increasingly unstable geo-political situation,â Ms Collins says. âNew Zealand has a long-standing commitment to this ...5 days ago
- Fijiâs Immigration Minister steps down temporarily over âunauthorisedâ passports for cult memb...
RNZ Pacific Fijiâs Home Affairs and Immigration Minister Pio Tikoduadua has ordered an inquiry into the âpossible unauthorised issuance of passportsâ by immigration staff and âoffered to step aside temporarily from roleâ. In a statement on Thursday night, Tikoduadua said the passports in question were issued to the children of ...1 hour ago - A 4.45 billion-year-old crystal from Mars reveals the planet had water from the beginning
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Aaron J. Cavosie, Senior lecturer, School of Earth and Planetary Sciences, Curtin University JPL-Caltech/NASA Water is ubiquitous on Earth â about 70% of Earthâs surface is covered by the stuff. Water is in the air, on the surface and inside rocks. ...6 hours ago
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“Is it a joke?”That’s what Bolivian diplomat Diego Balanza said on Wednesday in Baku, Azerbaijan, when asked by a reporter about the possibility of the new global climate finance goal (the NCQG) landing at just US$200 billion a year. Developing countries have been pushing for a number in the trillions, ...7 hours ago - The Weekend: What would you march for?
Madeleine Chapman reflects on the week that was. When I was a junior writer at The Spinoff, Simon Wilson joined the team as Auckland editor. Heâd been the editor of Metro for many years and was easily the most experienced journalist in the room. So if we both happened to ...8 hours ago - Short story: Freefall, by Owen Marshall
Gordon was meant to be with him on that hike. It wasnât high mountain stuff, but it was rugged, and itâs always sensible to have a companion when that far into the back country. Theyâd planned to do it in two days and knew each otherâs capabilities. But Gordon got ...8 hours ago
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Amy Ng-Thomson’s first time walking up One Tree Hill/Maungakiekie was six months after a lung transplant.“It was a beautiful March day, and I always do it in March now⊠seeing the blue skies, the views, feeling the breeze, I get the sense that she’s with me every time I go ...8 hours ago
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The veteran reviewer takes us through her life in television, including the allure of property shows, the crushing end of Campbell Live, and the review that got the most hate mail. Having reviewed television for The Listener for over three decades, award-winning critic Diana Wichtel has chronicled the medium through ...9 hours ago
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Of all the stereotypes about poets, perhaps the most enduring cliche is that poets canât drive. But what evidence do we have to back that up? A non-driving poet attempts to find out the truth. Bob Dylan said it. Jo Shapcott said it. Wendy Cope said it. Martin Amis said it, ...9 hours ago
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Psychedelic folk singer Arthur Ahbez shares his perfect weekend playlist. Arthur Ahbez will likely wake up this weekend with breathing exercises informed by Dutch motivational speaker Wim Hof, and perhaps a bit of yoga. Thatâs an ideal Saturday, but if he canât get to it, itâs because lifeâs responsibilities have ...9 hours ago
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HEATHER DU PLESSIS-ALLANI was driving down the middle of the road and Barry who was sitting next to me said,BARRY SOPER“Watch where you’re going!”HEATHERBy which he meant of course the idiots driving on either side of us, but mainly in the left lane. And he had a good point. Because ...9 hours ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Selma Hedlund, Postdoctoral Associate at Center of Forced Displacement, Boston University History is full of examples of governments using forced segregation against ethnic minorities. From settler colonialists coercing Indigenous peoples into reservations, Nazis forcing Jews into ghettos or the United States ...11 hours ago
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The Maritime Union also has zero faith in government assurances of a gold standard for ships used for the trade. ...18 hours ago - Offshore oil and gas ban ‘worst political decision’, Shane Jones says
Shane Jones says the offshore oil and gas ban is "the worst political decision" he has ever been involved with. ...18 hours ago
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A series of frantic text messages from Andrew Bayly to government staffers amid scrutiny over his actions at a winery have been revealed. ...19 hours ago
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They have pleaded with the ACT leader to stop what they say are abusive violations of Te Tiriti o Waitangi. ...21 hours ago
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However, his name remains under wraps as he has already indicated he will appeal. ...22 hours ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Susan Grantham, Lecturer in Communication, Griffith University Shutterstock The federal governmentâs proposed social media ban for under-16s has sparked widespread debate, affecting millions of young Australians, their families and educators. But will it actually work? While the aim behind this ban ...22 hours ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Sam Robinson, Senior Research Fellow, Institute for Molecular Bioscience, The University of Queensland AG-PHOTOS/Shutterstock With the start of summer just days away, many of us will be looking forward to long sunny days spent at the beach, by the pool, out ...22 hours ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Mark Crosby, Professor, Monash University Chichimaru/Shutterstock Australia has a seriously big ânest eggâ. The Future Fund â our sovereign wealth fund set up in 2006 â now manages about $230 billion. Specifically, its remit is to âinvest for the benefit ...22 hours ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Jessica Stokes-Parish, Assistant Professor in Medicine, Bond University Pixel-Shot/Shutterstock If someoneâs heart suddenly stops beating, they may only have minutes to live. Doing CPR (cardiopulmonary resusciation) can increase their chances of survival. CPR makes sure blood keeps pumping, providing oxygen to ...23 hours ago
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The only published and available best-selling indie book chart in New Zealand is the top 10 sales list recorded every week at Unity Booksâ stores in High St, Auckland, and Willis St, Wellington. AUCKLAND 1 Orbital by Samantha Harvey (Jonathan Cape, $26) The slight, superb winner of the Booker Prize ...1 day ago
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In-person submissions on the Treaty Principles Bill will all be held at Parliament or by video call. ...1 day ago
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The prime minister says it wasn't appropriate behaviour but that Erica Stanford had apologised. ...1 day ago
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The first arrest was made just three minutes after midnight, with 11 more to come. ...1 day ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Celeste Rodriguez Louro, Chair of Linguistics and Director of Language Lab, The University of Western Australia Rroselavy / Shutterstock Earlier this year, a Hong Kong finance worker was tricked into paying US$25 million to scammers who had used deepfake technology to ...1 day ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michael Hanaghan, Senior Research Fellow in Latin Christianity in Late Antiquity, Australian Catholic University Warning: this article contains mild spoilers. When Gladiator I was released in 2000, I was a high school Classics student and the film brought Classical literature to life ...1 day ago
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The first arrest was made just three minutes after midnight, with 11 more to come. ...1 day ago
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âWe are waiting for our government to announce it will arrest Netanyahu and Gallant immediately if they set foot in Aotearoa New Zealandâ says PSNA National Chair John Minto. ...1 day ago - Justice Committee Makes Further Decisions About Submissions Process For The Principles Of The Treaty...
The committee plans to hold hearings in the week starting Monday, 27 January and the weeks starting 10, 17 and 24 February 2025. ...1 day ago
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It comes as Labour accuses National of not listening to evidence about boot camps. ...1 day ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Stephen Winter, Associate Professor in Political Theory, University of Auckland, Waipapa Taumata Rau Getty Images When Prime Minister Christopher Luxon stood in Parliament last week to apologise to survivors of abuse in care, his words were among many fine speeches by ...1 day ago
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Eddie Redmayneâs globe-trotting assassin thriller on TVNZ is worth putting your phone down for. This is an excerpt from our weekly pop culture newsletter Rec Room. Sign up here. This is a vulnerable thing to say as someone who often writes about television for a job, but boy am I really ...1 day ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Flora Hui, Research Fellow, Centre for Eye Research Australia and Honorary Fellow, Department of Surgery (Ophthalmology), The University of Melbourne IoanaB/Shutterstock The United States Food and Drug Administration has just approved the first-ever clinical trial that uses CRISPR-Cas13 RNA editing. Its ...1 day ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Katie Lee, PhD Candidate, Dermatology Research Centre, The University of Queensland Karolina Grabowska/Pexels Summer is nearly here. But rather than getting out the sunscreen, some TikTokers are urging followers to chuck it out and go sunscreen-free. They claim itâs healthier ...1 day ago
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Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard. — H. L. Mencken
The people will get the Gov’t they deserve.
LOL đ
Been working all day on this democracy thing, totally takkered.
Just wanted to say thanks to The Standard, its authors and supporting commentators.
Big ups to you all. Keep it up, looks like there will be plenty to keep us busy over the next three years.
Sure I’ll be beavering away here for another 3 years. So long as I don’t blow a valve.
Ladies and gentlemen – the rat race is over. The rats have won.
The people have spoken. Enjoy the next 3yrs.
There is an old saying: be humble in victory and gracious in defeat.
You’re just an asshole.
As New Zealanders – we are nothing but boot licking peasants.
Wow an exciting nights election and the promise of a new dawning…its a good weekend for every kiwi
A dawning realisation that this country is now fucked.
Thats not being positive
There’s nothing to be positive about, you cretin.
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what a fucken horrible time we have ahead of us
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Espiner, Campbell et al, still locked into a two party FPP mentality.
Espiner “National gets 48pct, the highest ever, and still cannot govern outright.”
WTF: 52 pcnt did not vote National. National does not deserve to govern outright.
They must look to introduce policy that 50% plus 1 of the House can support.
Just a shame that we don’t have a constitution that requires 75% before a function can be changed and not the 50 plus 1.
And what a disgrace that this poll was under 70 pcnt of eligible voters. We cannot blame National party voters for that.
If, and its a big if, NZF and the Greens have cannablised the Labour vote, you could argue that the left has still got around 43 to 44 pcnt of the popular vote and with National on 48 that is only a 3 percent swing away. Add in Mana …
The biggest laugh goes to the fuckwit voters in Epsom who voted for Parker. They just show how thick they are …
logie, if a party got 40% of the party vote and there was sufficient wasted vote, that could translate in enough seats to govern alone.
So 48% and not being able to govern alone is actually slightly surprising – it’s basically in 50/50 territory as to whether they’d be able to govern alone on that figure, and as it turns out in this parliament configuration they can’t.
Also the media reporting the turnout as 65% are just idiots. They haven’t counted advanced votes. When you throw them in, turnout is about 78%.
Looks like my number is incorrect: the advanced votes were counted in the normal figures, but the specials weren’t. They take it up to ~73%.
Labour has work to do….first-up a de-construction of the front bench. Bye bye Phil, Trevor, Lianne and co..